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I, Monster
I, Monster is a collection of deranged thoughts and deeds from the vilest of the vile; Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, H. H. Holmes, Gary Ridgway, David Berkowitz, Aileen Wuornos, Ted Bundy, and other notorious serial killers. For fans of crime stories who look for realism, this book is like no other.
263 pages, Paperback
First published April 27, 2010
88 people are currently reading
357 people want to read
About the author
Tom Philbin
67 books26 followersTom Philbin is a writer of numerous books and has also written articles for a variety of magazines, including Parade, Woman's Day, and Reader's Digest. He lives in Centerport, New York.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 54 reviews
December 14, 2014
I found my first true crime seria killer book I didn't care for. Oh my. This was bad. The writing is horrible and nothing was really put together right in this book. Not good at all.
March 1, 2011
This book has got to be the worst on Serial killers. He has included facts on Ted Bundy that are inaccurate. In fact I reviewed this very book on Amazon. At the time this book had no reviews. What followed the review was the author writing me because he can't take bad reviews. He had his daughter post a positive review then proceeded to use her account to complain. As in my Amazon review I stated that he states facts that are not true. Most of his resources are internet sites. There was no new information. A couple journal pages that you can't find with a Google search. But that's another thing. These were to take up space. Many of the journals which were in handwriting were not retyped so there are pages that most people will find useless.I don't understand why he did this because he retyped the letters he included written by The son of Sam killer. The originals which are included we legible and clear. This is not a book I recommend.
April 6, 2011
I would have given this a better rating if there had been any sort of context within the book. It's basically a chapter on each one of twenty serial killers with only brief summarizations of their crimes followed by either court transcripts of their confessions, journal excerpts written by the killers themselves, or, as in two of the chapters a compilation of random things the killers said.
I'm not sure why the author bothered to write the book at all. One chapter consists solely of the xeroxed pages of one of the killer's journals, which are all handwritten and mostly illegible. Another chapter consists only of five or six random comments made by the killer after being arrested. In researching some of the killers mentioned (as I had never heard of almost half of them) I found almost verbatim passages on numerous websites.
I'd strongly urge you to get this book from your local library or second-hand book shop.
I'm not sure why the author bothered to write the book at all. One chapter consists solely of the xeroxed pages of one of the killer's journals, which are all handwritten and mostly illegible. Another chapter consists only of five or six random comments made by the killer after being arrested. In researching some of the killers mentioned (as I had never heard of almost half of them) I found almost verbatim passages on numerous websites.
I'd strongly urge you to get this book from your local library or second-hand book shop.
October 31, 2020
I purchased this book through BookBub. It was published in 2011.
It is not my typical read.
In the foreword it opens with: If you read this book, then you’re joining a club. It’s the club of people who have had conversations with murderers and their crimes.
He later states there is a cost for admission.
And it’s true what he says: reading this book you’re experiencing some of the worst of humanity.
He also says that your soul may hurt. No normal person could read this book without taking several breaks to get away from these people.
So I gather that I’m normal because I had taken several breaks while reading this book. I would read a bit of this book and then read other books to counteract the difficult subject matter.
He complied these interviews with killers to provide the opportunity to read these serial killers words verbatim, to provide insight into the minds of serial killers.
I am only going to write about the parts of the book I found most interesting.
H.H. Holmes and his three story “Castle”—so named by his neighbours in the late 1800s.
He took twenty-seven lives of men, women, young girls and children.
In his interview he describes these murders. He also had one particular way of ending some lives, one which I find quite horrifying: suffocating his victim in a vault.
The worst killers I think are the psychopathic sadist. One in particular is David Parker Ray who abducted women and kept them in a windowless trailer called the “Toy Box” where the women where tortured in the most horrible ways imaginable.
He also suffered from logorrhoea, meaning he wrote about his experiences extensively.
He also read a lot of true crime books which fueled his fantasies. This was one of the concerns I had while reading this book—how these kinds of books might feed into an already sick mind.
In his own words he admits that after reading Christine McGuire’s book called The Perfect Victim in 1989, that he then changed the way he did things.
The section in this book that’s stuck with me the most is the descriptions of the murders by Edmund Kemper. He came from a very cruel and disturbing family with two psychopaths as parents. When he was seven or eight one of the punishments he received was to kill his pet chicken, a pet he loved as much as another child might love a dog. His parents ordered him to kill his pet chicken, which he did, and then his mother cooked it and made him eat it, all the while he cried. At the age of fifteen he was sent to live with his paternal grandparents, he shot them to death. He was then sent to a psychiatric hospital and treated for five years, and released despite doctors’ bitter objections.
His killings of young girls began in California in the early 1970s as he cruised the roads around Santa Cruz, a college town. His first two female victims were Mary and Anita, the killings described in detail. Aiko was sixteen and had a rough background, she loved dancing and was on her way to advanced dance classes when she made a fatal decision when she got tired of waiting for the bus and decided to hitchhike and was picked up by Kemper.
The chapter on Westley Allan Dodd, who by the age of fourteen was molesting small children. In total over fifty kids. This book features pages from his “A Diary of Death.” But the pages the book provides were not copied well enough to be able to read, no matter how much I expanded the text on my iPad. Maybe it was for the best, because it did come with a warning that the descriptions were horrific.
Some parts of this book were more interesting than others. That is my biggest criticism. I would have liked a more cohesive book.
This is not an easy read by any means, and definitely not for the faint of heart.
It is not my typical read.
In the foreword it opens with: If you read this book, then you’re joining a club. It’s the club of people who have had conversations with murderers and their crimes.
He later states there is a cost for admission.
And it’s true what he says: reading this book you’re experiencing some of the worst of humanity.
He also says that your soul may hurt. No normal person could read this book without taking several breaks to get away from these people.
So I gather that I’m normal because I had taken several breaks while reading this book. I would read a bit of this book and then read other books to counteract the difficult subject matter.
He complied these interviews with killers to provide the opportunity to read these serial killers words verbatim, to provide insight into the minds of serial killers.
I am only going to write about the parts of the book I found most interesting.
H.H. Holmes and his three story “Castle”—so named by his neighbours in the late 1800s.
He took twenty-seven lives of men, women, young girls and children.
In his interview he describes these murders. He also had one particular way of ending some lives, one which I find quite horrifying: suffocating his victim in a vault.
The worst killers I think are the psychopathic sadist. One in particular is David Parker Ray who abducted women and kept them in a windowless trailer called the “Toy Box” where the women where tortured in the most horrible ways imaginable.
He also suffered from logorrhoea, meaning he wrote about his experiences extensively.
He also read a lot of true crime books which fueled his fantasies. This was one of the concerns I had while reading this book—how these kinds of books might feed into an already sick mind.
In his own words he admits that after reading Christine McGuire’s book called The Perfect Victim in 1989, that he then changed the way he did things.
The section in this book that’s stuck with me the most is the descriptions of the murders by Edmund Kemper. He came from a very cruel and disturbing family with two psychopaths as parents. When he was seven or eight one of the punishments he received was to kill his pet chicken, a pet he loved as much as another child might love a dog. His parents ordered him to kill his pet chicken, which he did, and then his mother cooked it and made him eat it, all the while he cried. At the age of fifteen he was sent to live with his paternal grandparents, he shot them to death. He was then sent to a psychiatric hospital and treated for five years, and released despite doctors’ bitter objections.
His killings of young girls began in California in the early 1970s as he cruised the roads around Santa Cruz, a college town. His first two female victims were Mary and Anita, the killings described in detail. Aiko was sixteen and had a rough background, she loved dancing and was on her way to advanced dance classes when she made a fatal decision when she got tired of waiting for the bus and decided to hitchhike and was picked up by Kemper.
The chapter on Westley Allan Dodd, who by the age of fourteen was molesting small children. In total over fifty kids. This book features pages from his “A Diary of Death.” But the pages the book provides were not copied well enough to be able to read, no matter how much I expanded the text on my iPad. Maybe it was for the best, because it did come with a warning that the descriptions were horrific.
Some parts of this book were more interesting than others. That is my biggest criticism. I would have liked a more cohesive book.
This is not an easy read by any means, and definitely not for the faint of heart.
October 13, 2011
Hopefully this doesn't say something about myself but . . . I actually found the following funny :
page 148 : Lucas told Rosenbaum Toole would often crucify his victims , after which Toole would often barbecue and eat them . He himself , Lucas said , never joined Toole in these unholy feasts .
" Why not ?" he was asked . "I don't like barbecue sauce ," Lucas said .
Utah favorite Ted Bundy from page 30 and 31 : ( Which I will shorten )
" What about Donna Mason ?"
" I won't beat around teh bush with you anymore because I'm just tired and want to get back to sleep . So let me tell you , I know part of her is buried up there , the head however , wouldn't be there . "
" Where is it now ? "
" It's nowhere . I'm not tyring to be flippant . It's in a category all by itself . It was incinerated . It was an exception , a strange exception . "
" Where did you incinerate it ?"
"I promised myself I'd never tell this . In her fire place . That's not really that humorous , but I mean , the fireplace at her house . . . that was the twist . It's a lot of work and certainly very risky , under the circumstances . I mean , the kids come home from school , there's a roaring fire in the fireplace , and it's warm outside ."
Page 163 : " I proceeded to tie her up . She got sick , threw up . I got her a glass of water , comforted her a little bit , and then went ahead and tied her up and then put a bag over her head and strangled her ."
page 148 : Lucas told Rosenbaum Toole would often crucify his victims , after which Toole would often barbecue and eat them . He himself , Lucas said , never joined Toole in these unholy feasts .
" Why not ?" he was asked . "I don't like barbecue sauce ," Lucas said .
Utah favorite Ted Bundy from page 30 and 31 : ( Which I will shorten )
" What about Donna Mason ?"
" I won't beat around teh bush with you anymore because I'm just tired and want to get back to sleep . So let me tell you , I know part of her is buried up there , the head however , wouldn't be there . "
" Where is it now ? "
" It's nowhere . I'm not tyring to be flippant . It's in a category all by itself . It was incinerated . It was an exception , a strange exception . "
" Where did you incinerate it ?"
"I promised myself I'd never tell this . In her fire place . That's not really that humorous , but I mean , the fireplace at her house . . . that was the twist . It's a lot of work and certainly very risky , under the circumstances . I mean , the kids come home from school , there's a roaring fire in the fireplace , and it's warm outside ."
Page 163 : " I proceeded to tie her up . She got sick , threw up . I got her a glass of water , comforted her a little bit , and then went ahead and tied her up and then put a bag over her head and strangled her ."
June 14, 2011
The chapter on Jack the Ripper was two pages long and consisted of two letters supposedly written by him with no real description of his crimes, speculation about the authenticity of both letters, etc. That was disappointing. It was also true of many of the other chapters I started skimming - very little real information on the crimes, including dates and whether certain letters happened before or after certain crimes, which is a problem for those unfamiliar with the timeline of events. There were also typos galore - did this book have an editor? Very very disappointing. I did not finish it.
October 17, 2011
Although I found it difficult to give this book a 5 star rating due to the graphic content, I did find the book interesting. I enjoying reading books that in a sense, go inside the person's mind. In this case, the minds were those of the serial killers of the last century. I found the book to be rather hard to take in at times. Decent read, nonetheless.
October 2, 2011
ugh why did I check this book out of the library???!! cuz when I read the first page I could not stop...sick , disgusting , scared me . the author gives a warning , that you will feel dirty after reading and I did.
February 6, 2012
As everyone has said not a lot of connection here, though it's an interesting idea. One section were all photo copies from a killers diary but you couldn't read the handwriting.
Bottom line, good idea poorly/cheaply executed,which is too bad.
Bottom line, good idea poorly/cheaply executed,which is too bad.
March 10, 2011
Very gory and disgusting. All the things I love in a book. This one, however, is so graphic my stomach is still hurting. Read at your own risk.
June 29, 2014
Whew. This is a tough book. I have read a lot of true crime in my life but this one is pretty rough. I struggled with the star rating as I did not want to let my reaction to the book color it's actual goodness/badness.
The introduction is really well done and the editors did a pretty good job of putting together a mix of the most infamous serial killers without leaving out a lot of lesser known but at least as horrible criminals. I would say my one complaint would be I would have liked to see a sort of basic listing in the opening to each chapter with number of victims and also the punishment received by the various killers. For example, in the Dahmer section no mention was made of the fact that he was murdered in prison, a fact which was pretty relevant in general and specifically so because the confession mentions Dahmer feeling he should probably be killed in prison. The confessions are gruesome to say the least. They are quite detailed and not for the faint of heart. I appreciated the warning by the authors that it would be rough going--they even admitted themselves that they had to step away at times while putting the book together. I did as well--normally a book like this would be put away within a few days, but I had to take breaks. Even for the crime aficionado this is some pretty sick stuff.
I actually did enjoy the chapter on the Green River Killer, Gary Ridgeway. It's something of a miracle that this creature was not captured for so long as he does not display much intelligence. Perhaps he had a type of animal cunning that just did not translate into real life, but it's sort of gratifying to read Sheriff Dave Reichert raking him over the coals while he sits in detention before being shipped off to a real prison where his treatment would be much worse. Reichert had been on that case for many years and was devoted to finding the Green River Killer--he cared about the humanity of the prostitutes that were victims in a way that you don't often see. He is rather like the heroic detectives you see in movies that don't normally exist in real life. You can tell by the interrogation of Ridgeway that Reichert is always on the edge of anger in dealing with him--it's interesting to see him chip away at Ridgeway's attempts to put a clean face on misleading and lying to cops to get his plea deal and to keep himself in the smaller, safer and generally just better holding facility he is in. Ridgeway's feeble attempts at making himself appear remorseful slip several times through the interview, and you realize that not only is he hoping to attain the greatest numbers for himself as a serial killer but also to maintain control over his victims--at one point he sort of blurts out about a victim that he does not want anyone else to take credit for "she's my woman" and then sort of stumble over himself realizing how that sounds. It's sort of fitting that this is one of the last entries because you feel a bit of comfort in knowing that he's not only locked up but he's not liking it one bit. Overall, I would only recommend this to hardcore true crime fans--it will definitely haunt you.
The introduction is really well done and the editors did a pretty good job of putting together a mix of the most infamous serial killers without leaving out a lot of lesser known but at least as horrible criminals. I would say my one complaint would be I would have liked to see a sort of basic listing in the opening to each chapter with number of victims and also the punishment received by the various killers. For example, in the Dahmer section no mention was made of the fact that he was murdered in prison, a fact which was pretty relevant in general and specifically so because the confession mentions Dahmer feeling he should probably be killed in prison. The confessions are gruesome to say the least. They are quite detailed and not for the faint of heart. I appreciated the warning by the authors that it would be rough going--they even admitted themselves that they had to step away at times while putting the book together. I did as well--normally a book like this would be put away within a few days, but I had to take breaks. Even for the crime aficionado this is some pretty sick stuff.
I actually did enjoy the chapter on the Green River Killer, Gary Ridgeway. It's something of a miracle that this creature was not captured for so long as he does not display much intelligence. Perhaps he had a type of animal cunning that just did not translate into real life, but it's sort of gratifying to read Sheriff Dave Reichert raking him over the coals while he sits in detention before being shipped off to a real prison where his treatment would be much worse. Reichert had been on that case for many years and was devoted to finding the Green River Killer--he cared about the humanity of the prostitutes that were victims in a way that you don't often see. He is rather like the heroic detectives you see in movies that don't normally exist in real life. You can tell by the interrogation of Ridgeway that Reichert is always on the edge of anger in dealing with him--it's interesting to see him chip away at Ridgeway's attempts to put a clean face on misleading and lying to cops to get his plea deal and to keep himself in the smaller, safer and generally just better holding facility he is in. Ridgeway's feeble attempts at making himself appear remorseful slip several times through the interview, and you realize that not only is he hoping to attain the greatest numbers for himself as a serial killer but also to maintain control over his victims--at one point he sort of blurts out about a victim that he does not want anyone else to take credit for "she's my woman" and then sort of stumble over himself realizing how that sounds. It's sort of fitting that this is one of the last entries because you feel a bit of comfort in knowing that he's not only locked up but he's not liking it one bit. Overall, I would only recommend this to hardcore true crime fans--it will definitely haunt you.
June 14, 2011
Almost finished. Yes, this book isn't fine literature. but even for a topical book, it just seems poorly done (wikipedia reference, other internet site references). But that said, I have a hard time putting it down. Everything I've read on this subject before was outsiders looking in. These words are the insiders looking out. Wow. It's chilling. I have children and very quickly realized what a danger it was to have this book around the house. I'm taking special precautions to always have the book with me so they don't peek in and see any of this horrible stuff. I put it under my bed the first night in case I'd forget to take it with me the next morning to work --I felt like I was sleeping over something evil!
I think I have to give this book 3 stars for the insight --you don't get this kind of information in other readings. The author contributes little, but maybe that's a positive --let the words of the killers speak for themselves. There's nothing much to detract from that.
Finished it! If you like this sort of chilling stuff, this will be a book you have a hard time putting down. It's VERY graphic. What's scary is that it's real.
I think I have to give this book 3 stars for the insight --you don't get this kind of information in other readings. The author contributes little, but maybe that's a positive --let the words of the killers speak for themselves. There's nothing much to detract from that.
Finished it! If you like this sort of chilling stuff, this will be a book you have a hard time putting down. It's VERY graphic. What's scary is that it's real.
February 18, 2011
This book was a very phoned in effort by the author. It was about 75-85% direct quotations, and the rest was poorly done, mostly paraphrased summaries of who the killers were. There were incorrect facts in a couple of places. There was a chapter that was 34 pages long that had the diary of one of the killers. it was hand written and impossible to read in most places, and the author didn't bother to transcribe any of it. A couple of chapters used sources from the internet, including one chapter that actually used Wikipedia as a source. The author also was obviously preoccupied with trying to present the book as dark and disturbing, which makes any seasoned fan of true crime roll their eyes. Between quotes that can easily be found on the internet, and badly written and sometimes incorrect summaries, there is absolutely no reason to buy this book.
July 6, 2020
This book was hot garbage and I finished it out of spite.
Half the sources the author cites are his own other books. Full of inaccuracies, lack of context, and one chapter is entirely comprised of horrible scans of crappy handwriting. I had to find a transcript on Reddit just to read it. And a photo of Mary Kelly was labelled as "a Ripper victim." Um, 1) she had a name, all these women had names, 2) it's one of the most famous photos in true crime, maybe label it correctly???? Whyyyyy were there over 20 pages of Gary Ridgeway's bumbling confession transcripts???? And then only a single page on big hitters like Jack the Ripper???
Don't waste your time with this book, there are much better ways to track this information down.
Half the sources the author cites are his own other books. Full of inaccuracies, lack of context, and one chapter is entirely comprised of horrible scans of crappy handwriting. I had to find a transcript on Reddit just to read it. And a photo of Mary Kelly was labelled as "a Ripper victim." Um, 1) she had a name, all these women had names, 2) it's one of the most famous photos in true crime, maybe label it correctly???? Whyyyyy were there over 20 pages of Gary Ridgeway's bumbling confession transcripts???? And then only a single page on big hitters like Jack the Ripper???
Don't waste your time with this book, there are much better ways to track this information down.
October 27, 2011
I'm not sure how to rate this. It was an interesting collection of interviews and information from serial killers, but some of it was so disturbing that I had to skip it. That says a lot for me, I can usually detach and read anything. I am very much against censorship, but I found myself hoping that no young person is able to access this without the parent's awareness, despite the amount of violence they are exposed to on a daily basis. The major problem is that this is just copied from websites and court transcripts, the author didn't really put much effort into anything other than collecting the most disturbing tidbits he could find.
June 12, 2013
Strange and unusual, captivating yet terrifying! What some humans are capable of soon become beyond their own words, yet this is a collection of some of the most horrifying detailed recounts of what, how, who, when, and even why they choose to become what the FBI has termed as a "serial killer". This book is a deep look into some of the most popular or most vile counts of acts of a killer written using their own words. This by no means is a easy book to stomach and many times I had to put it down due to the disgusting and unbelievable acts some humans can commit. Read at your own risk! Some, if not many of the images formed from the descriptions are not easily forgotten.
November 22, 2014
This book was brutal and extremely difficult to get through. Especially the chapter on Westley Allan Dodd, in which case there is his detailed journal about his molestation and murder of 3 children. This is definitely not for the faint of heart but I've always been more interested in why the serial killers committed their crimes rather than the gory details of what they did. And, what you get a sense of is their disturbing and creepy mentality that shows they are almost pure evil. Now this book would have gotten more stars if only it was more comprehensive about the actual crimes the serial killer committed but then again the book says this is about what they have to say.
July 3, 2011
Only some parts of this book bothered me. The rest I found a bit blah. A lot of it didn't really give much insight to the psyche of the individuals in this book. Some of it may have been boring because I knew a lot of the history on the killers. I only found one killer absolutely horrifying and that was the section on David Parker Ray. The book goes into much description, more than you will find online. I knew nothing about him. Out of all the serial killers mentioned in this book he was the worst I have ever heard of-his methods scared the hell out of me.
Read
June 9, 2016Fascinating to read the words directly from these men (and woman). Shock factor aside, I was most interested in the fact that so many of them were well spoken, could write and articulate well, and could easily have been the writers of crime fiction instead of being the perpetrators of crime fact. There are always exceptions, but I thought they'd all ramble and sound confused... but only a few did. Frighteningly enough, that's part of why they got away with things for so long... the masks they wear are unbearably plain. Terrifying.
Read
March 4, 2011Chilling but a lot of the material included here can be found in other serial killer comprehensives so there is very little that Is actually new insight. Also, while I am very happy not to read a detailed account of one killer's molestation and murder of a child, the addition of journal entries xeroxed into illegibility is just poor editing.
April 20, 2011
I satisfied my interest in what killers thought but this was book light on content. This could have been many volumes and then we might have learned something. Instead, it was a CNN headline grabbing style book. I did have to put it down a few times and read something else as I digested the creepiness that is some people.
April 9, 2013
I love true crime, I find the psychology fascinating however; this book was difficult even for myself. I generally have a stomach of iron when it comes to reading this genre but being inside the minds of the monsters themselves was sickening at times. This is one to read while reading another book as well because you will need a break from it.
March 12, 2015
Disturbing, parts were definitely tough to read. Had to put it down at times for a bit! Wish there was more on certain serial killers but overall, if you're looking for info on numerous serial killers, not an awful read. Definitely psychological as it allows you to get into some of the serial killers heads and find out different thoughts of theirs!
January 9, 2017
This book is only interesting if you are quite familiar with the serial killers whose writings are included within it. The author's writing is horrible and the extremely short background he provides for each killer is uninformative.
January 6, 2016
This was a good book, but I don't recommend reading it right before bed. It is almost a struggle to read, even during the day.
January 25, 2016
Interesting but too brief at times. Also would have preferred to have at least the latter half of the Dodd journal excerpts transcribed as many of the words were difficult to make out.
April 24, 2017
Extremely unsettling, but I loved that about it.
December 30, 2011
super gruesome
February 6, 2018
After reading the reviews for this book, I added it to my Christmas list. I was so excited to read it because it showed promise of something beyond any serial killer content I've read before. People said it was so horrible and graphic, they had to put the book down and take a break from reading it. They had nightmares and locked their doors, etc... I was so very disappointed once I read the book. Not only was it NOT horrible and graphic as I thought it would be.. But it was poorly written and more like a collection of notes, copied and pasted into a book.
The one chapter I thought could have been good, turned into photocopies of illegible hand writing! In previous chapters, the "writer" would provide a photocopy of the killers journal but also type out what was written in the journal pages. I know the writer couldn't even read these pages, so they just put a picture of the pages. I definitely would not recommend this book to anyone, especially at $20! There are far better books and documentaries out there!
The one chapter I thought could have been good, turned into photocopies of illegible hand writing! In previous chapters, the "writer" would provide a photocopy of the killers journal but also type out what was written in the journal pages. I know the writer couldn't even read these pages, so they just put a picture of the pages. I definitely would not recommend this book to anyone, especially at $20! There are far better books and documentaries out there!
March 27, 2018
I, Monster by Tom Philbin is an extremely detailed journey into the minds of infamous serial killers. As you read you learn more and more about each and every one of them. You begin with their childhood. Here, you learn the details of many corrupt childhoods that formed these criminals. Than, you go through the killers own words learning what murders they committed. This would have to be the most chilling factor in this book. Some of these killers talk so nonchalantly about doing brutal things, sending shivers down your spine. If anyone enjoys criminology or just serial killers in general, this book is most definitely for you.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 54 reviews