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En Toch Hield Ik Van Hem
Waargebeurd autobiografisch relaas van een Engelse vrouw die als meisje door haar alcoholistische, geesteszieke vader seksueel werd misbruikt en gedwongen tot prostitutie.
237 pages, Paperback
First published January 7, 2008
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 114 reviews
May 7, 2019
I'm wondering if I've read this before. It seems to follow a similar pattern and Maria's name rings a bell. Anyway, either way it's a really awful story. Maria is abused by her father, abandoned by her mother and let down by the institutions that are meant to protect and support her. I pledged always to read misery memoirs, but I worry about the effect they are doing to me mentally, so maybe this will be the last one for a while (on a plus side, I seem able to speed through them very quickly!)
April 8, 2012
This biography is heart wrenching.
But as a book, I feel it could have been better. Landon's stories deserved to be one of the great biographies we hear about in the NYT Best Seller lists. Instead, the entire book felt rushed and only skimmed the surface - the ending just sort of happened, I honestly felt like I had just skimmed rather than actually read it. Then the publisher slapped a generic cover on it and you have something that, I'm afraid to say, looks trashy.
I think Landon should have been encouraged to write a longer book and the publisher should have branded it better.
But as a book, I feel it could have been better. Landon's stories deserved to be one of the great biographies we hear about in the NYT Best Seller lists. Instead, the entire book felt rushed and only skimmed the surface - the ending just sort of happened, I honestly felt like I had just skimmed rather than actually read it. Then the publisher slapped a generic cover on it and you have something that, I'm afraid to say, looks trashy.
I think Landon should have been encouraged to write a longer book and the publisher should have branded it better.
February 11, 2013
From the moment I started reading this book I couldn't put it down. Until I came to the part where Maria's two brothers were locked in their bedroom day in and day out, suffering horrific neglect. I couldn't read anymore because it was so sad. Call me crazy but I even emailed the author herself to tell her how badly that part effected me and that I couldn't continue to read her book unless I knew whether or not her brothers had survived. She replied to me right away. I should have been able to go back to reading the book right away but I couldn't. It's been three months, maybe I can go back to reading it soon.
UPDATE FIVE MONTHS LATER: I was able to go back to the book recently, hurried through the horrible part about the little brothers and got on with the rest of the book. It's a horrific life this woman lead as a child. No child should ever have to go through that. I enjoyed the author's writing but had to google a few British terms for their meaning. A great book but not for the faint at heart.
UPDATE FIVE MONTHS LATER: I was able to go back to the book recently, hurried through the horrible part about the little brothers and got on with the rest of the book. It's a horrific life this woman lead as a child. No child should ever have to go through that. I enjoyed the author's writing but had to google a few British terms for their meaning. A great book but not for the faint at heart.
April 21, 2018
Een heel aangrijpend verhaal, maar ik vond het heel langdradig geschreven (of vertaald)...
August 9, 2025
4,5 ⭐️
December 20, 2024
Een gruwelijk levensverhaal van een jonge vrouw die door haar vader seksueel misbruikt wordt en gedwongen te tippelen. Ook is ze compleet afhankelijk van hem en weet hij haar altijd weer terug naar hem te krijgen. Zo triest in wat voor wereld sommige mensen geboren worden.
Jaren geleden al eens gelezen en vandaag hergelezen.
Jaren geleden al eens gelezen en vandaag hergelezen.
June 29, 2018
A really great book to read for anyone who loves heart breaking real stories about the despicable topic of child abuse.
April 22, 2022
Not an easy reading experience but definitely worth it.
January 4, 2020
not a massive non fiction reader but this book was recommended to me. Very sad and harrowing what an awful childhood, I was engrossed the whole way thru
January 10, 2013
A horrifying account of Maria's life, whose mother (abused and forced into prostitution by her husband, Maria's father) left the family when Maria was four, and which time her father began abusing her. Before she's ten, she's addicted to drugs, drinking and her father is sexually molesting her and preparing her to sell herself on the streets. She goes out "on the game" when she's eleven and continues into her late teens.
It's a terrible story to have to read, and the almost lackadaisical way social services treats her is shocking, but believable. She's forgotten about.
Some parts of it bugged me from the perspective she had given us. I feel like this would have been both terribly cathartic and painful for Maria to write about, to let everyone know what her early life was like and how she was treated by her own family. There are points though where I feel like she's not being honest with herself.
For example, she claims "I wasn't a bully at all myself" yet mentions at least a dozen times that she beat people up to make herself "hard" and was always being pulled out of schools for fighting, including one situation where she and another girl throw hot tea on each other. It's quite clear reading her story that she WAS a bully, even if she doesn't like to think herself that way.
Similarly, while talking about how often she took drugs and, in particular, Speed, she claims "I guess it was just luck that I didn't become dependent on it like most girls on the street." With everything she has told us up until this point, and what she goes on to do even after she her her son, it's hard to believe this statement she makes and has me wondering if she is just talking herself out of what really happened for fear of what she might find if she digs into that portion of her life. However she is open and clear with every other aspect so it would be odd, but this just stuck out to me as a reader. But I am reviewing this as a reader, not as any sort of doctor or therapist and I have no experience in the life that she lead, so my views are clearly of a biased nature.
There's also a distasteful conclusion where Maria becomes focused on having a child so she has something to care for. When she has her son and goes back to drugs, drinking and prostitution; social services maintain she is a good mother and leave the baby in her care. It just seems horrible, yet I suppose it's the same mistake social services made with her mother when Maria was a baby. They let her stay in an abusive environment despite clear warning signs.
All in all it's a moving and memorable novel, and one I am glad Maria was given the chance to tell. Recommended!
It's a terrible story to have to read, and the almost lackadaisical way social services treats her is shocking, but believable. She's forgotten about.
Some parts of it bugged me from the perspective she had given us. I feel like this would have been both terribly cathartic and painful for Maria to write about, to let everyone know what her early life was like and how she was treated by her own family. There are points though where I feel like she's not being honest with herself.
For example, she claims "I wasn't a bully at all myself" yet mentions at least a dozen times that she beat people up to make herself "hard" and was always being pulled out of schools for fighting, including one situation where she and another girl throw hot tea on each other. It's quite clear reading her story that she WAS a bully, even if she doesn't like to think herself that way.
Similarly, while talking about how often she took drugs and, in particular, Speed, she claims "I guess it was just luck that I didn't become dependent on it like most girls on the street." With everything she has told us up until this point, and what she goes on to do even after she her her son, it's hard to believe this statement she makes and has me wondering if she is just talking herself out of what really happened for fear of what she might find if she digs into that portion of her life. However she is open and clear with every other aspect so it would be odd, but this just stuck out to me as a reader. But I am reviewing this as a reader, not as any sort of doctor or therapist and I have no experience in the life that she lead, so my views are clearly of a biased nature.
There's also a distasteful conclusion where Maria becomes focused on having a child so she has something to care for. When she has her son and goes back to drugs, drinking and prostitution; social services maintain she is a good mother and leave the baby in her care. It just seems horrible, yet I suppose it's the same mistake social services made with her mother when Maria was a baby. They let her stay in an abusive environment despite clear warning signs.
All in all it's a moving and memorable novel, and one I am glad Maria was given the chance to tell. Recommended!
December 29, 2013
Spoiler alert. I found this book very sad and it left me very empty. Although I feel a little guilty saying this, I was disappointed that Maria didn't seem to do much with her life. In the front it states that she is somehow active in helping youth but she does not raise that in the book at all. I find it sad when young women seem to think the solution to their abusive pasts is too have children to the first man they meet
so they have someone to love. When the social worker said her flat was too cold to house a baby I felt physically ill. Her attitude seemed way too immature too be raising a child. I'm not judging young mothers-age is just a number-but I would have liked her to have worked more on herself and achieve some stability before making such a huge decision. The main reason I read these books is to see the strong person the abused child becomes but she still seems/seemed to carry a lot of grief and resentment. To a degree that is understandable of course.
so they have someone to love. When the social worker said her flat was too cold to house a baby I felt physically ill. Her attitude seemed way too immature too be raising a child. I'm not judging young mothers-age is just a number-but I would have liked her to have worked more on herself and achieve some stability before making such a huge decision. The main reason I read these books is to see the strong person the abused child becomes but she still seems/seemed to carry a lot of grief and resentment. To a degree that is understandable of course.
December 28, 2024
I've owned a copy of Daddys Little Earner for years, I have read it once or twice and know its mentally a struggle to read a book like this.
The last time I read this book, I was horrified to read the abuse a growing girl had endured from her own father.
Now as I finished the book, I'm not as horrified. Maybe I'm too desensitised to child abuse? Maybe living through similar situations has put me in a mindset to understand that the most vulnerable are taken advantage of by people who their supposed to trust.
How the law fails to protect children, easily believing that a child is nothing more than a liar and given back to the problem.
The last time I read this book, I was horrified to read the abuse a growing girl had endured from her own father.
Now as I finished the book, I'm not as horrified. Maybe I'm too desensitised to child abuse? Maybe living through similar situations has put me in a mindset to understand that the most vulnerable are taken advantage of by people who their supposed to trust.
How the law fails to protect children, easily believing that a child is nothing more than a liar and given back to the problem.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 19, 2009
This book tells the author's real life story of how she was forced into prostitution at a young age by her father, and how she pulled her life back together. It's an incredibly brave and inspiring story, and also tells you a lot about the state of social services back in the 1970s-1980s. I couldn't put it down from the moment I started reading it, and will be reading the follow-up book as soon as I can buy it.
August 6, 2010
Sad story of what this little girl and her brother went through growing up. The story seemed repetitive at times. I thought the book would go into detail of how she escaped a life of drug and alcohol abuse and prostitution, but she wrote another book detailing that journey. I wasn't impressed with the writing, but her story is so compelling, that I've purchased her 2nd book just to see how she escaped.
November 16, 2012
how do you rate a memoir that is so wonderfully written and which allows the author's true self to come through with every sentence, yet is so disturbing in content because of everything she went through? i rate this based on the writing, but based on content, i would give this book no more than a ZERO. what a difficult journey Maria Landon has traveled. but was an important contribution she made in writing it to share with others. great work.
do not read if you are squeamish about abuse.
do not read if you are squeamish about abuse.
June 17, 2009
This book was very sad. I had to skip through some pages because I couldn't handle them personally. It's really horrible and heartbreaking to think that someone could go through such a life...
Good read.
Good read.
May 27, 2016
Good story though, a lot of the story is secondhand or here say, also when reading the book there is no specific dates so the timelines are over the place. This is still a horrific story to read though as I couldn't imagine a child going through this
May 20, 2010
God, some people really suffer in this world. I count my lucky stars everytime I read a book like this. Thank god my dad was a decent and loving father.
June 28, 2011
It seems wrong to say "I liked it", but it was a very gripping (and sad!) story. Not for the faint of heart.
May 27, 2012
It's hard to say you liked something so desperately sad, but it was a little hopeful.
December 8, 2014
Heartbreaking, Intense, Touching & Inspiring!
July 15, 2016
3,5
Wat een wreed, wreed onmenselijk verhaal.
Wat een wreed, wreed onmenselijk verhaal.
June 18, 2025
Maria Landon’s memoir, Daddy’s Little Earner is as brutal as the title makes out. Maria’s life has gone from one traumatic event to another, being sexually abused by her father, sold into prostitution and taking part in drug use and theft to appease his violent nature. Maria is let down by the people supposed to protect her, namely her mother who abandons the children to escape the violent relationship with their father. She is unable to convince social services to rescue the children, even though he brutally attacked one social worker and was sent to prison for it. Social services do rescue Maria’s two younger brothers who were neglected, locked in a room together to starve nearly to death, but feel her father is able to still care for Maria and her older brother – so sadly unsurprising.
Maria begins her forced sexual slavery at the young age of fourteen and is unable to escape the life. She meets another man who she believes cares for her, but he is unsurprisingly another abuser taking advantage of her. Both him and her father are finally jailed for ‘living off her immoral earnings’ but sadly not for child abuse, sexual abuse, neglect or forced prostitution and Maria beings to gain control over her life. It takes a long time for Maria to see that her boyfriend was using her similarly to her father, and I don’t think she ever really makes that connection.
Personally, I find Maria’s conclusion just as unfortunate as the rest of her memoir. She has a child that she is unable to care for, she tries hard to be responsible and look after her son, but she is still deeply traumatised and finds herself partaking in drugs and prostitution despite his needs. There are a few sentences stating that Maria is doing youth work, but there is no real ending to the novel. She seems just as vulnerable as the beginning, and I feel ending the memoirs here really lacked lustre. It would have been great to see Maria do something with her life, besides having a child. I’m sure it brought her a lot of comfort, but having a child is not therapy to get over your own traumatic childhood and at times, using this as a conclusion can present itself as being so. I feel there would have been better moments to finish the story, such as her father’s sentencing.
Maria begins her forced sexual slavery at the young age of fourteen and is unable to escape the life. She meets another man who she believes cares for her, but he is unsurprisingly another abuser taking advantage of her. Both him and her father are finally jailed for ‘living off her immoral earnings’ but sadly not for child abuse, sexual abuse, neglect or forced prostitution and Maria beings to gain control over her life. It takes a long time for Maria to see that her boyfriend was using her similarly to her father, and I don’t think she ever really makes that connection.
Personally, I find Maria’s conclusion just as unfortunate as the rest of her memoir. She has a child that she is unable to care for, she tries hard to be responsible and look after her son, but she is still deeply traumatised and finds herself partaking in drugs and prostitution despite his needs. There are a few sentences stating that Maria is doing youth work, but there is no real ending to the novel. She seems just as vulnerable as the beginning, and I feel ending the memoirs here really lacked lustre. It would have been great to see Maria do something with her life, besides having a child. I’m sure it brought her a lot of comfort, but having a child is not therapy to get over your own traumatic childhood and at times, using this as a conclusion can present itself as being so. I feel there would have been better moments to finish the story, such as her father’s sentencing.
October 29, 2017
Наскоро научих, че има такъв литературен стил - булевардни романчета, които разказват просълзяващи истории за деца, израснали в ужасяващи условия, чиито родители ги бият, изнасилват, държат гладни и т.н.
Врътката е, че нито една от тия истории не е по истински случай - и читателите го знаят, просто им се иска да пореват малко така, както като четат любовни романи въздишат сърцераздирателно, въпреки че знаят, че написаното е измислено. Нещо като литературен вариант на вестник "Лична драма".
Текстът в тях е доста скучен, историите са елементарно описани, а самото ебане и пребиване са само епизодично споменати, така че даже ако търсиш да четеш баш такива неща, няма да ти излезе късметът.
Самите книжки са подписани с различни имена, но двете, които прочетох имат толкова еднакъв изказ, че заедно с факта, че са от едно издателство и с еднакво оформление ми навява мисълта, че авторът им е един и ги вади на конвейр.
Врътката е, че нито една от тия истории не е по истински случай - и читателите го знаят, просто им се иска да пореват малко така, както като четат любовни романи въздишат сърцераздирателно, въпреки че знаят, че написаното е измислено. Нещо като литературен вариант на вестник "Лична драма".
Текстът в тях е доста скучен, историите са елементарно описани, а самото ебане и пребиване са само епизодично споменати, така че даже ако търсиш да четеш баш такива неща, няма да ти излезе късметът.
Самите книжки са подписани с различни имена, но двете, които прочетох имат толкова еднакъв изказ, че заедно с факта, че са от едно издателство и с еднакво оформление ми навява мисълта, че авторът им е един и ги вади на конвейр.
March 3, 2018
I recently read this book and i have to say it opens your eyes more to what people actually go through in life and how they can come out on the other side.
This is such a sad story, to be described as daddy's little earner on the day of your birth is so upsetting, i found myself getting angry and upset when reading this book. Angry at the fact that people can treat their children in such away and upset by what that child/children has to go through in a daily battle to survive.
This book sheds light on things that actually happen in the world and lets you see it through the eye of a child through to an adult. Maria Landon has done this book justice, it was written very well and can truly get your emotions flowing.
This is such a sad story, to be described as daddy's little earner on the day of your birth is so upsetting, i found myself getting angry and upset when reading this book. Angry at the fact that people can treat their children in such away and upset by what that child/children has to go through in a daily battle to survive.
This book sheds light on things that actually happen in the world and lets you see it through the eye of a child through to an adult. Maria Landon has done this book justice, it was written very well and can truly get your emotions flowing.
December 23, 2017
dit soort boeken zijn altijd extra indrukwekkend omdat het waargebeurd is. Maria groeit op met een gewelddadige vader die haar misbruikt en als hoer laat werken. je ziet haar steeds meer afglijden ook al komt ze regelmatig met de kinderbescherming in aanraking maar als tiener loopt ze weg van haar vader maar ze is er dan nog niet en heeft nog een lange weg te gaan. ze heeft een zwaar leven gehad en dat al op jonge leeftijd. het ergste was nog dat toen ze pas geboren was haar vader al zei van haar ga ik een hoertje maken maar hij behandelde niet alleen zijn kinderen slecht maar ook zijn vrouw.
April 2, 2022
These types of books no matter how many you read them are harrowing and shocking. Maria was let down by so many people but worst of all her parents and when her mother abandoned them, Maria’s life at the hands of her abusive father meant she had no escape from the things he did to her at an early age. The book ended a little abruptly and I really would like to know how she did later in life so hope eventually writes another book as also want to know what happened to her 3 brothers who also suffered appalling neglect as young children
December 10, 2024
An incredibly tragic story and experiences no child nor person deserves to endure, but overall as a book, I found the novel to unfortunately not be captivating.
For such heart breaking occurrences, I feel as though the author lacked emotional depth in her writing despite the heavy nature of the story. And although I can understand from the perspective of how hard it would be to write out and relive said trauma, sometimes glossing over the cruel reality can cause the writing to feel withdrawn, ultimately taking away from the severity of experiences being shared.
For such heart breaking occurrences, I feel as though the author lacked emotional depth in her writing despite the heavy nature of the story. And although I can understand from the perspective of how hard it would be to write out and relive said trauma, sometimes glossing over the cruel reality can cause the writing to feel withdrawn, ultimately taking away from the severity of experiences being shared.
August 29, 2019
Daddy's !little Earner
So,so sad. I want to rip these monsters apart, very slowly. What is wrong with our society that small children are preyed upon and sold for God knows what atrocities. Evil is rampant. Don't look the other way when you think something looks wrong or the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Either give to an organization that is fighting for the children of donate your time at a shelter.
So,so sad. I want to rip these monsters apart, very slowly. What is wrong with our society that small children are preyed upon and sold for God knows what atrocities. Evil is rampant. Don't look the other way when you think something looks wrong or the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Either give to an organization that is fighting for the children of donate your time at a shelter.
September 13, 2019
It starts off well, however I got the impression from the blurb that the climax was testifying against her dad. But that portion seems to be glossed over and we move on to her life with her new beau.
After all this effort surrounding her younger years, it seems to rush after the trial. I can't tell if this was because the narrator needed to get all of her childhood horrors out, or if her adult life did really just speed by. That discord between the time and effort invested in the telling at the beginning of the book and the rushed style towards the end are what lower my rating.
After all this effort surrounding her younger years, it seems to rush after the trial. I can't tell if this was because the narrator needed to get all of her childhood horrors out, or if her adult life did really just speed by. That discord between the time and effort invested in the telling at the beginning of the book and the rushed style towards the end are what lower my rating.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 114 reviews