“Home Tonight: Further Reflections on the Parable of the Prodigal Son” by Henri J. M. Nouwen, (NY: Doubleday, 2009).
A beautifully inspirational book that challenges us readers to be honest about the state of our hearts and how we can be open to the transforming power of God's love.
INTRODUCTION
“The marvelous thing about learning from a story is that a story never ends, so our learning from it need not end either.” - Parker J. Palmer, 'The Active Life' (San Francisco: Harper and Row, 1990), 98. (p.ix)
“I would like to beg you, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday, far into the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.” - Rainer Maria Rilke, 'Letters to a Young Poet' (p.x)
“Where's your home?” “Are you home tonight?” (p.xi)
PROLOGUE
“Furthermore, I urge you not to walk into the story alone, just in your own name. Rather, enter into the story in solidarity with all your brothers and sisters in the human family on earth. … Your desire to participate with those in the parable is not just good for you alone, but it is also good for many others because your personal life is a gift for the people immediately around you and beyond. … This is an invitation, then, to see yourself right here and right now 'in the name' of many brothers and sisters, believing that as something moves in you, something may also transpire in those in whose name you live.” (p.xiv)
“As we feel the pain of our own losses, our grieving hearts open our inner eye to a world in which losses are suffered far beyond our on little world of family, friends, and colleagues. It is the world of prisoners, refugees, AIDS patients, starving children, and the countless human beings living in constant fear. Then the pain of our crying hearts connects us with the moaning and groaning of a suffering humanity. Then our mourning becomes larger than ourselves.” - Henri J. M. Nouwen, 'With Burning Hearts' (Maryknoll: Orbis Books, 1999), 28.
Listening, Journalling, Communing (p.xxi-xxii)
PART ONE - LEAVING AND RETURNING HOME
Ch.1
“Suffering is a dreadful teacher but often the beginning of the best in us. Suffering and creativity are often interdependent.” (Teresa of Avila) (p3)
“The more we become sensitive to our own journey the more we realize that we are leaving and coming back every day, every hour. Our minds wander away but eventually return; our hearts leave in search of affection and return sometimes broken; our bodies get carried away in their desires then sooner or later return. It's never one dramatic life moment but a constant series of departures and returns.”
“Jesus' life is an invitation for us to believe, not primarily in him but in the relationship between himself and the God whom he names “Father.” Furthermore, Jesus comes into the world to communicate to those of us who are listening that this very same relationship is uniquely available to each one of us. By his life and death Jesus announces the yearning in the heart of Love Divine, to be in relationship with each individual person. For you or I to engage this primal encounter is for us to return “home.”
“Parental love is a limited reflection of an unlimited love. In the experience of parental love I was wounded as were you, and every other human being. Most parents are the best and the greatest, but in the human experience, parents are also very, very broken people.” (page 36)
“Jesus knew who he was and was thus able to live the days of his passion in agony and peace. He didn't need to blame others or himself, because he understood the brokenness of those who caused him pain. Jesus, in the knowledge that he was loved, was able to stand in his pain and forgive those who wounded him.” (p40)
“If I encourage you to live the great struggle of your life and your pain standing up, I do so trusting that we are in solidarity with something larger than our individuality. Mary stood under the Cross. 'Stabat mater' is the Latin for ‘the standing mother.’ Under the Cross she didn’t faint but stood with her son and with the world in her suffering.” (p45)
“Try to grasp that this practically blind father, who recognizes his beloved child not so much by seeing as by touching, has something very primal to do with real human loving and being loved. It has nothing to do with declarations or statements or arguments. The father’s love is before speech.” (p46-7)
“Resentment, the curse of the faithful, the virtuous, the obedient, and the hardworking, settles itself in the human heart and causes havoc. That is why it’s important to think about it. All of us who give our lives for loved ones, work hard, and objectively have many virtues to be praised, are sometimes not really free from the burden of resentment in our hearts.” (p59)
“Psychology tells us that if we are in touch with our angry feelings, name them, and even perhaps lash out, the anger loses some of its power over us.” (p59)
“But when, in our efforts to be pious, we eat up the angry feelings and do not make them known, resentment begins. One begins feeling a little angry but does nothing about it. With time, as unattended anger builds in a given relationship or life situation, one becomes progressively more irate. The constant swallowing of negative feelings causes them to pervade the inner universe and usurp one’s power to relate in a truly loving way. Gradually it is no longer hot anger, but it grows cold and settles itself deep into the innermost heart. And over the long term, resentment becomes a way of being.
Resentment is cold anger. That’s what it is. The greatest difficulty with resentment is that it’s very hidden and interior as opposed to being overt. It has the potential to present itself as holiness and that makes it even more pernicious. Resentment resides in the very depths of our hearts, sitting in our bones and our flesh while we are mostly unaware of its presence. Whereas we might imagine that we are faithful and good, we may in fact be very lost in a much deeper way than someone who is overtly acting out.” (p59-60)
“And he’s probably the only one who hasn’t recognized his frozen smile as a cover-up for the anger that seeps out in all his interactions.” (p61)
“Ask for the strength to become more aware of the hidden exile of your self-righteousness and judgments.” (p63)
HIDDEN EXILE OF RESENTMENT
“'Why don't you look at me and trust that I rejoiced in your coming before you were even born? Don't you know that I recognise you as my flesh and blood, that I know you well, and that I love you deeply? Can't you even see that my love has nothing to do with whether you work hard or not?'” (p72)
“I have learned through bitter experience the one supreme lesson: to conserve my anger, and as heat conserved is transmitted into energy, even so our anger controlled can be transmitted into a power that can move the world.” - Mahatma Gandhi (p74)
P78 – “Because gratitude is the opposite of resentment and gratuity moves us away from the world of earning-and-repayment in love.”
P80 – “Solidarity with others requires attitude changes, acceptance of difference, and the struggle to live humbly and respectfully with them.”
P82 - “... clear a decent shelter for your sorrow … And if you have given sorrow the space its gentle origins demand, then you may truly say: life is beautiful and so rich. So beautiful and so rich that it makes you want to believe in God.”
p84 - “We feel angry and we rationalize by our 'justice' mentality. At least the landowner could have paid the early-comers first and sent them away so that they wouldn't see what the latecomers got! But no! Right in the face of those early-comers who worked the whole day the master pays a day's wage to the latecomers.”
“Love invites us as a spiritual discipline to communicate with our loved ones more and more from hearts broken open by compassion.” (p90)
“And all the glory I receive from the One who affirms me in my humanity is available for you to receive as well. You are to be fully the adult child of Unconditional Love as me. You are to live a communion with Love itself that is so intimate that you also become the visibility of Love's Spirit present in the world.”
Jesus came to offer us the same full communion with the Spirit-Father-Mother-Lover that he enjoys, where he is in no way smaller than the One who sent him. - (p96)
“Jesus taught us about the whole movement of God's love with bread. His actions with bread in Scripture image his and our loves as beloved children of God. in the multiplication of the loaves at the Last Supper, Jesus took the bread first. Bread was chosen as God chooses each one of us uniquely as a beloved daughter or son after the bread was in his hands Jesus blessed it, just as our Creator confirms each of us as beloved children. The bread is broken as Jesus was broken on the Cross and as we are broken because of undeserved suffering n our loves. Finally the bread was given for the life of others, just as Jesus' life was given, and ours is to be given. Jesus does this many, many times: taking, blessing, breaking, and giving. We experience the joys of being chosen and blessed. And we are broken not because we are cursed but because, like Jesus, passion moves us to compassion and to be given for others who suffer.” (p104) - Henri J. M. Nouwen, “Home Tonight: Further Reflections on the Parable of the Prodigal Son”, (NY: Doubleday, 2009).