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The Blonde
The night before a big meeting, Jack Eisley is sitting in an airport bar in Philadelphia, chatting up a pretty young blonde. Sure, Jack has a wife and daughter at home, but this is just a little harmless flirting. Harmless, that is, until the blonde leans forward and says, "I poisoned your drink."
She tells Jack that unless she can keep someone within ten feet of her at all times, she'll die. And if he wants the antidote, he'll have to take her back to his hotel room and promise to stay by her side.
Jack thinks: psycho. But as the violent night wears on, and he encounters a relentless government assassin, a threatening voice on a cell phone, a deadly waitress, dirty cops, and shady cab drivers . . .
He begins to believe her... in Duane Swierczynski's thrilling The Blonde.
She tells Jack that unless she can keep someone within ten feet of her at all times, she'll die. And if he wants the antidote, he'll have to take her back to his hotel room and promise to stay by her side.
Jack thinks: psycho. But as the violent night wears on, and he encounters a relentless government assassin, a threatening voice on a cell phone, a deadly waitress, dirty cops, and shady cab drivers . . .
He begins to believe her... in Duane Swierczynski's thrilling The Blonde.
240 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2006
20 people are currently reading
819 people want to read
About the author
Duane Swierczynski
524 books917 followersDuane Swierczynski is an American crime writer who has written a number of non-fiction books, novels and also writes for comic books.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 164 reviews
August 15, 2020
The blonde ran up to [Jack Eisley] and wrapped her arms around his neck. She whispered, "Go along with this or you'll die." -- page 21
Such a disappointment after I much enjoyed author Swierczynski's high-octane and hard-boiled The Wheelman and also his multi-generational crime saga Revolver earlier this year. The Blonde is one of those heartless, down-and-dirty thrillers with a minimal ensemble cast who were uniformly rather unpleasant folks, save for the usual 'Innocent Bystander' protagonist (Eisley - see the above quote), and he is pretty much harshly treated as either a punching bag or door mat throughout the entire story to the point of annoyance. Although the opening chapters deliver a fairly good set-up - a mysterious woman claims she poisoned a man in an airport bar, and he has limited amount of time to live (plus a few other nasty complications) - but then the vaguely sci-fi details in parts of the plot and the incessant sadistic and often brutal violence made the story not much fun to read at all.
Such a disappointment after I much enjoyed author Swierczynski's high-octane and hard-boiled The Wheelman and also his multi-generational crime saga Revolver earlier this year. The Blonde is one of those heartless, down-and-dirty thrillers with a minimal ensemble cast who were uniformly rather unpleasant folks, save for the usual 'Innocent Bystander' protagonist (Eisley - see the above quote), and he is pretty much harshly treated as either a punching bag or door mat throughout the entire story to the point of annoyance. Although the opening chapters deliver a fairly good set-up - a mysterious woman claims she poisoned a man in an airport bar, and he has limited amount of time to live (plus a few other nasty complications) - but then the vaguely sci-fi details in parts of the plot and the incessant sadistic and often brutal violence made the story not much fun to read at all.
January 12, 2016
*2.5 Stars*
It's a set-up that forces you to pick the book up and read it, a modern Hitchcockian-thriller that's a mash-up of noir and science fiction. It's also told in what seems like real-time with clipped chapters and a Woolrich-like clock ticker. It seems like the book was tailor-made for me to love it! So why was I strangely uninvolved? I'm not sure. I mean, I love Swierczynski's writing style and humour, and there are some sequences and moments that are actually pretty clever and entertaining. But at the end of the day, it wasn't the wild, un-put-downable, rollercoaster ride that it promises to be. I was never bored, just never as interested as I should've been. It might be the fact that it felt like I was never allowed to truly engage and empathize with any of the characters. They never felt like real people to me. And some of the sequences felt forced and out of place, as if they were there just to put the characters in another crazy situation, without really adding anything to the story. The Sybian Club and the train accident for example are two sequences that could've been left out and probably not really affect the story much.
But I loved Swierczynski's The Wheelman and I really admire the author from what I know so far. He seems fearless in his ideas and execution, creating his own genres, and all of his books just scream to be read. He's a more exciting writer than most people out there right now. I feel like I should give all of his work a chance. It's just that this one was a little disappointing.
"I poisoned your drink."And thus starts Duane Swierczynski's bizarre thriller where Jack Eisley is poisoned by a sexy crazy woman in a bar who claims that she has something in her blood that will make her head explode if she doesn't have anyone within ten feet of her at all times, and essentially takes him hostage in exchange for the antidote.
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me."
"Um, I don't think I did."
The blonde lifted her cosmopolitan. "Cheers."
It's a set-up that forces you to pick the book up and read it, a modern Hitchcockian-thriller that's a mash-up of noir and science fiction. It's also told in what seems like real-time with clipped chapters and a Woolrich-like clock ticker. It seems like the book was tailor-made for me to love it! So why was I strangely uninvolved? I'm not sure. I mean, I love Swierczynski's writing style and humour, and there are some sequences and moments that are actually pretty clever and entertaining. But at the end of the day, it wasn't the wild, un-put-downable, rollercoaster ride that it promises to be. I was never bored, just never as interested as I should've been. It might be the fact that it felt like I was never allowed to truly engage and empathize with any of the characters. They never felt like real people to me. And some of the sequences felt forced and out of place, as if they were there just to put the characters in another crazy situation, without really adding anything to the story. The Sybian Club and the train accident for example are two sequences that could've been left out and probably not really affect the story much.
But I loved Swierczynski's The Wheelman and I really admire the author from what I know so far. He seems fearless in his ideas and execution, creating his own genres, and all of his books just scream to be read. He's a more exciting writer than most people out there right now. I feel like I should give all of his work a chance. It's just that this one was a little disappointing.
March 13, 2012
While sitting in an airport lounge, Jack Eisley is told by an attractive blonde that she had poisoned his drink. Assuming she is merely flirting and not believing any part of her threats, Jack leaves but eventually suffers unimaginable pain and sickness. Upon meeting back up with her, Jack slowly realizes just how true her threats are..
Swierczynski had stated he wanted to write a sequel to The Wheelman, I suppose this was his idea. While technically linked to the previous book in the sense that a minor character in Michael Kowalski returns, there's no real sembleanse in terms of continuation; the plot is totally unrelated. That being said, I did love the nod to the events in The Wheelman.
I loved the layout. The fact that Swierczynski tracks several interchangable narratives really keeps things moving at a brisk pace and helps the story stay consistently fresh. As in The Wheelman, Swierczynski's penchant for lightning fast action returns with quick and brutal violence. His writing is just so.. cool (that word isn't overused is it?)
There were a few things I was kind of bothered by.. However, it was nothing that really ruined my experience overall.
** On a side note (not that it matters), of all the books I've read in the past year or so, I can see this one easily adapting to the silver screen. Swierczynski's writing just oozes style and seems to be built for a slick, fast-paced film. Surprisingly, I've read that his book Severance Package has been optioned by Hollywood so I've got that one on deck.
Swierczynski had stated he wanted to write a sequel to The Wheelman, I suppose this was his idea. While technically linked to the previous book in the sense that a minor character in Michael Kowalski returns, there's no real sembleanse in terms of continuation; the plot is totally unrelated. That being said, I did love the nod to the events in The Wheelman.
I loved the layout. The fact that Swierczynski tracks several interchangable narratives really keeps things moving at a brisk pace and helps the story stay consistently fresh. As in The Wheelman, Swierczynski's penchant for lightning fast action returns with quick and brutal violence. His writing is just so.. cool (that word isn't overused is it?)
There were a few things I was kind of bothered by.. However, it was nothing that really ruined my experience overall.
** On a side note (not that it matters), of all the books I've read in the past year or so, I can see this one easily adapting to the silver screen. Swierczynski's writing just oozes style and seems to be built for a slick, fast-paced film. Surprisingly, I've read that his book Severance Package has been optioned by Hollywood so I've got that one on deck.
July 29, 2012
There's no two ways about it Blondes have more fun. Yeah I couldn't resist that.
At least if you think exploding heads, pulp fiction references and a race against time not to mention multiple interested parties who don't have being concerned about your well being at the top of their to-do list is more fun they do.
Meet Jack, a loser in an airport bar drinking to get the courage to go sleep in a motel room alone and wake up to meet his wifes divorce lawyer. Meet Kelly, a devastating blonde so desperate to keep somebody close that she poisons Jack in an effort to get him to go home with her. Meet Kowalski, DHS operative who'll maim, kill and incapacitate without raising a sweat. A deadly game of cat and mouse set in the dead of one Philadephian night ensues and you won't want to put it down until it ends.
This was a fun book and I enjoyed every word of it, like a blend of traditional noir/pulp (and Swierczynski - copy paste, no way I could remember that spelling - is very much a massive fan of the genre, it comes across in everything action of his characters like it is hardwired in to their DNA) and the good bits of a Jason Statham movie. It starts at a breakneck pace and doesn't relent until the final BLAM BLAM BLAM. This constant action had one minor drawback for me in that it provided no sense of final climax because every other page has a climax in one way or another.
This was my first experience of Swierczynski and I was surprised at the quality of the writing, the seemless integration of humour in to the tension packed plot and the reflexive attitude towards his genre as he toys with the reader. For example from the beginning I'm thinking how clever these references are to X are only to have Swierczynski slap me in the face later on with a red herring, Kowalski saying "you idiot, who hasn't seen X?" Well played!
If you haven't read this, if you're undecided or hesitant in anyway, just buy it already you are not going to regret it.
At least if you think exploding heads, pulp fiction references and a race against time not to mention multiple interested parties who don't have being concerned about your well being at the top of their to-do list is more fun they do.
Meet Jack, a loser in an airport bar drinking to get the courage to go sleep in a motel room alone and wake up to meet his wifes divorce lawyer. Meet Kelly, a devastating blonde so desperate to keep somebody close that she poisons Jack in an effort to get him to go home with her. Meet Kowalski, DHS operative who'll maim, kill and incapacitate without raising a sweat. A deadly game of cat and mouse set in the dead of one Philadephian night ensues and you won't want to put it down until it ends.
This was a fun book and I enjoyed every word of it, like a blend of traditional noir/pulp (and Swierczynski - copy paste, no way I could remember that spelling - is very much a massive fan of the genre, it comes across in everything action of his characters like it is hardwired in to their DNA) and the good bits of a Jason Statham movie. It starts at a breakneck pace and doesn't relent until the final BLAM BLAM BLAM. This constant action had one minor drawback for me in that it provided no sense of final climax because every other page has a climax in one way or another.
This was my first experience of Swierczynski and I was surprised at the quality of the writing, the seemless integration of humour in to the tension packed plot and the reflexive attitude towards his genre as he toys with the reader. For example from the beginning I'm thinking how clever these references are to X are only to have Swierczynski slap me in the face later on with a red herring, Kowalski saying "you idiot, who hasn't seen X?" Well played!
If you haven't read this, if you're undecided or hesitant in anyway, just buy it already you are not going to regret it.
April 28, 2013
So, last night I went to bed feeling excellent in all respects. I turned on my lamp above the bed and grabbed Duane's The Blonde which I had to rescue from the local library because friggin' Amazon's Kindle store had it on their "sorry folks, but due to formatting errors, we are reviewing this book with publisher" list for over a year now with no progress apparent from either the publisher or Amazon. I called Amazon and told them: ..."either remove the damned book from the Kindle store, or fix the thing already!" While I was at it, I gave 'em the same diatribe for JLB's Robicheaux #5 which is the only JLB book not available on Kindle (library is grabbing that book from another branch as I speak). I mean, really?
Needless to say, I fell asleep an hour or so later as books make me do (better than any sleeping pill I can think of). Then, out of the blue, I wake up at 3:55AM with a runny nose, barely able to breathe and sneezing up a storm to the point I turned the light back on and went "What the hell did I do?" I mean, where do colds come from? I was feeling just fine, dammit! Unable to sleep, I grabbed Duane's book and just kept on reading and sneezing (I'll have to nuke the book a bit before i send it back to library). Couple of hours later I finished it.
What did I think? Before I go further, potential readers out there should understand something about Duane's work. The man is a pulp writer; he writes comic books as well as novels. I grew up on comics and the one thing you can't do when reading stuff like this is expect verisimilitude, you can't read 'em and not love suspending disbelief. Once you get over that hurdle, you're in for a hell of a ride especially where it comes to his Charlie Hardy series (2 more days to go before the third in that series gets downloaded to my Kindle). So, that's my heads-up on that.
Unlike a lot of other reviewers who like his stand-alones and having suffered through The Wheelman which I thought sloppy (see my review here)...this one's a little better for a Swierczynski stand-alone. It starts out like this (Chapter 1, lines 1 - 5):
"I poisoned your drink."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me."
"Um, I don't think I did."
The blonde lifted her cosmopolitan. "Cheers."
Does that grab your attention? Hell yes, it does! This is why I love authors like John locke and Duane Swierczynski. They are quick reads. Their premise on which the novels are based are unusual if not outrageous (ok, ok, this one's not original as we've seen this before in films like D.O.A decades ago but get ready for an altered scenario on this old premise). Right out of the gate, we're thrown into a wildly out of control situation and we're locked into the precise context from the very first lines of the novel. What's not to love about that? Again, unlike "The Wheelman" Duane wraps this one up nicely and ties all the loose ends in a fitting epilogue.
I don't discuss plots for series books...and don't particularly delve into them much in stand-alone reviews. Why spoil all the fun, right? Trust me to say that Duane's plots are unique (one of Duane's trademarks); it moves very fast, and you can't expect much in terms of settings, etc. I mean, it's opening....dialogue, action, dialogue, action...end.
This novel takes place over hours, not days - and subsequently, I read it in a few hours, not days. I was done with it and fell asleep sometime just as dawn crept across the skies outside. I'm giving it a three because I still like the Hardie series better. For pulp, they are more consistent and as a series add considerably to character development...even for pulp.
Needless to say, I fell asleep an hour or so later as books make me do (better than any sleeping pill I can think of). Then, out of the blue, I wake up at 3:55AM with a runny nose, barely able to breathe and sneezing up a storm to the point I turned the light back on and went "What the hell did I do?" I mean, where do colds come from? I was feeling just fine, dammit! Unable to sleep, I grabbed Duane's book and just kept on reading and sneezing (I'll have to nuke the book a bit before i send it back to library). Couple of hours later I finished it.
What did I think? Before I go further, potential readers out there should understand something about Duane's work. The man is a pulp writer; he writes comic books as well as novels. I grew up on comics and the one thing you can't do when reading stuff like this is expect verisimilitude, you can't read 'em and not love suspending disbelief. Once you get over that hurdle, you're in for a hell of a ride especially where it comes to his Charlie Hardy series (2 more days to go before the third in that series gets downloaded to my Kindle). So, that's my heads-up on that.
Unlike a lot of other reviewers who like his stand-alones and having suffered through The Wheelman which I thought sloppy (see my review here)...this one's a little better for a Swierczynski stand-alone. It starts out like this (Chapter 1, lines 1 - 5):
"I poisoned your drink."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me."
"Um, I don't think I did."
The blonde lifted her cosmopolitan. "Cheers."
Does that grab your attention? Hell yes, it does! This is why I love authors like John locke and Duane Swierczynski. They are quick reads. Their premise on which the novels are based are unusual if not outrageous (ok, ok, this one's not original as we've seen this before in films like D.O.A decades ago but get ready for an altered scenario on this old premise). Right out of the gate, we're thrown into a wildly out of control situation and we're locked into the precise context from the very first lines of the novel. What's not to love about that? Again, unlike "The Wheelman" Duane wraps this one up nicely and ties all the loose ends in a fitting epilogue.
I don't discuss plots for series books...and don't particularly delve into them much in stand-alone reviews. Why spoil all the fun, right? Trust me to say that Duane's plots are unique (one of Duane's trademarks); it moves very fast, and you can't expect much in terms of settings, etc. I mean, it's opening....dialogue, action, dialogue, action...end.
This novel takes place over hours, not days - and subsequently, I read it in a few hours, not days. I was done with it and fell asleep sometime just as dawn crept across the skies outside. I'm giving it a three because I still like the Hardie series better. For pulp, they are more consistent and as a series add considerably to character development...even for pulp.
January 24, 2018
The most outrageous thriller I've ever read. The action is set at a blistering pace as confusion reigns in a story that defies all reason. Jack Eisley is sat in an airport bar when Kelly White (an attractive blonde seated next to him who's actually a scientist called Vanessa) tells him she's poisoned his drink.
Kelly explains to Jack that unless there is someone within 10 feet of her at all times, she'll die. So, if Eisley wants the antidote, he'll have to stick by her. There follows a night of cartoon-like violence, mostly committed by Kowalski - a government assassin who works for the most secret of secret departments within the United States Department of Homeland Security.
But Kowalski's controller has gone rogue and is working for a deranged scientist known as "The Operator" (Kelly/Vanessa's former boss) who's responsible for an awesome techno weapon, nicknamed "the Mary Kates", micoscopic nanotechnology that replicates itself and lives in human blood. It involves a method of blowing people's heads apart if they're left on their own for more than 10 seconds. Along the way, there's an incident at a Sybian club, several trips in taxi cabs, lots of people getting beaten up, fights in hotel rooms, private homes and a hospital and at least another 3 assassins with delightful names. There are explosions, lots of gunfire - and several stabbings with various pointed implements.
Confused? That's all part of the fun. Duane Swierczynski's noirish nightmares have to be read at speed as the action is always flat out relentless and you simply have to keep up! It helps if you're a headless chicken - maybe.
At the end of "The Blonde", there's a novella which - as Swierczynski warns - you mustn't read until after you've finished "The Blonde". "Redhead" explains a lot of what happened in "The Blonde" - sort of! Hell - just go an read this book. It's FUN!*
*Unless you're one of those dingbat Goodreads members who thinks there's too much violence in crime novels. God, give me strength!!!
Kelly explains to Jack that unless there is someone within 10 feet of her at all times, she'll die. So, if Eisley wants the antidote, he'll have to stick by her. There follows a night of cartoon-like violence, mostly committed by Kowalski - a government assassin who works for the most secret of secret departments within the United States Department of Homeland Security.
But Kowalski's controller has gone rogue and is working for a deranged scientist known as "The Operator" (Kelly/Vanessa's former boss) who's responsible for an awesome techno weapon, nicknamed "the Mary Kates", micoscopic nanotechnology that replicates itself and lives in human blood. It involves a method of blowing people's heads apart if they're left on their own for more than 10 seconds. Along the way, there's an incident at a Sybian club, several trips in taxi cabs, lots of people getting beaten up, fights in hotel rooms, private homes and a hospital and at least another 3 assassins with delightful names. There are explosions, lots of gunfire - and several stabbings with various pointed implements.
Confused? That's all part of the fun. Duane Swierczynski's noirish nightmares have to be read at speed as the action is always flat out relentless and you simply have to keep up! It helps if you're a headless chicken - maybe.
At the end of "The Blonde", there's a novella which - as Swierczynski warns - you mustn't read until after you've finished "The Blonde". "Redhead" explains a lot of what happened in "The Blonde" - sort of! Hell - just go an read this book. It's FUN!*
*Unless you're one of those dingbat Goodreads members who thinks there's too much violence in crime novels. God, give me strength!!!
February 3, 2011
I love the ‘The Blonde’ – there is a reason this is a pop culture classic. It has everything a pulp addict could possibly want; basement crazies, dangerous broads, chivalrous men, and hard hitting action. The bonus novella ‘The Redhead’ follows on from the events that transpired in the novel with a more thriller feel than the full length predecessor and closed off the story ark nicely. One has got to wonder if this story has enough legs to warrant a sequel? Fans of Swierczynski, I’m sure are hoping there is a half finished manuscript sitting on desk his somewhere begging to be finished and unleashed on the world. Glad I reread this, 5 stars all the way.
November 23, 2011
Jack is on his way to Philadelphia to meet his wife's divorce attorney, so he was pretty sure that his life couldn't get much worse. Turns out, it can. He meets a blonde at the airport bar and they're chatting. He thinks it's going pretty well until she tells him that she poisoned him. He's like, "Yeah, sure, hahaha," but turns out she really did. So now he has to find her again. And when he does, the story she tells him? Well, it gets even weirder from there.
This is my fourth of his books (and this one is connected to the first one I read, The Wheelman*), and these books are just beyond entertaining. They're action-packed and weird, but in the best possible way.
They're sort of like noirs on speed, and while I can't say this is my favorite of the four I've read (that would probably be Fun & Games, followed closely by Hell & Gone), I CAN say that so far, I've not been disappointed by one. These books are just so ridiculously fun and I can't say enough good things about them.
Recommended.
* = otherwise known as the anti-Ocean's 11, because it makes you never want to plan a heist, ever. As opposed to Ocean's 11, which makes it look both easy and fun.
This is my fourth of his books (and this one is connected to the first one I read, The Wheelman*), and these books are just beyond entertaining. They're action-packed and weird, but in the best possible way.
They're sort of like noirs on speed, and while I can't say this is my favorite of the four I've read (that would probably be Fun & Games, followed closely by Hell & Gone), I CAN say that so far, I've not been disappointed by one. These books are just so ridiculously fun and I can't say enough good things about them.
Recommended.
* = otherwise known as the anti-Ocean's 11, because it makes you never want to plan a heist, ever. As opposed to Ocean's 11, which makes it look both easy and fun.
July 25, 2011
Awesome book! This was like reading a book on speed. I'd never read anything by DS before but now I definitely will need to again. Terrific concept, great characters and while the storyline required significant abandonment of reality, it grabbed me from the first page and held me through the last, even through the extra "sequel short story" at the end of the copy I bought. This could be a Tarantino movie. Suspend your belief at the door and pick this up!
March 23, 2025
This one absolutely powered along at high speed and with the short chapters made it very easy to put down/pick up when required.
Not sure why I waited so long after reading The Wheelman to dive into this one.
Not sure why I waited so long after reading The Wheelman to dive into this one.
November 29, 2023
Light, bite-sized thriller. Clever concept and nice imagery and voice. One of Duane's best.
May 22, 2010
I'm starting to think that nobody knows how to get pages turning in a crime novel quite like Duane Swierczynski.
Need a hook? Need a ticking clock? Need a conflict?
Page one,line one, "I poisoned your drink."
This is surely enough to get a story moving, but while most writers would allow that premise to coast, Swierczynski just uses it as a jump start before flooring it. Sequence by sequence, scene by scene, the conflicts get boosted, jacked, and blasted. The characters are continually cornered and left for dead, and just when you think they have managed their way through a situation, Swierczynski just tosses gasoline on them (I almost picture him laughing at the poor bastards while he types sentences). The reader is left with no choice -- the clock is ticking, matches are lit, and there is another page after this one!
The Blonde is quite brilliant in this regard, a clinic in rising tension. The clock gets tripped and the story unfolds at a breakneck pace. The sections are even titled with that clock as a device -- sometimes to the second. That is just fun reading.
It's difficult to keep a pace like that and still find a way to flesh out the characters, especially when they are hard, scarred,and not afforded a large range of emotion. The depth, by nature, can't get too far off course and keep the pace, and I can forgive that, or even applaud it a bit because the novel doesn't try to be something that it isn't.
The novel follows the three leads throughout, but make no mistake, this is Kowalski's (a hit man, cleaner, assassin with a heart of teflon) show all the way. That character positively owns the novel, but I think all the characters do get some time to shine.
The Blonde is a prose action film, Crank 2 with an everyman in place of Chelios, and the camp held in check. It's fun and tough with a killer smile. Swierczynski has established a style and a voice that can only mean bigger and badder things to come. I hope he's typing fast. Tick tick tick.
Need a hook? Need a ticking clock? Need a conflict?
Page one,line one, "I poisoned your drink."
This is surely enough to get a story moving, but while most writers would allow that premise to coast, Swierczynski just uses it as a jump start before flooring it. Sequence by sequence, scene by scene, the conflicts get boosted, jacked, and blasted. The characters are continually cornered and left for dead, and just when you think they have managed their way through a situation, Swierczynski just tosses gasoline on them (I almost picture him laughing at the poor bastards while he types sentences). The reader is left with no choice -- the clock is ticking, matches are lit, and there is another page after this one!
The Blonde is quite brilliant in this regard, a clinic in rising tension. The clock gets tripped and the story unfolds at a breakneck pace. The sections are even titled with that clock as a device -- sometimes to the second. That is just fun reading.
It's difficult to keep a pace like that and still find a way to flesh out the characters, especially when they are hard, scarred,and not afforded a large range of emotion. The depth, by nature, can't get too far off course and keep the pace, and I can forgive that, or even applaud it a bit because the novel doesn't try to be something that it isn't.
The novel follows the three leads throughout, but make no mistake, this is Kowalski's (a hit man, cleaner, assassin with a heart of teflon) show all the way. That character positively owns the novel, but I think all the characters do get some time to shine.
The Blonde is a prose action film, Crank 2 with an everyman in place of Chelios, and the camp held in check. It's fun and tough with a killer smile. Swierczynski has established a style and a voice that can only mean bigger and badder things to come. I hope he's typing fast. Tick tick tick.
February 14, 2017
I should read this again. It really blew my socks off when I read it. I'd never heard of the author back in 2006. Think this was his second novel. It's so fast paced it's nuts. You'll want to read it in one go. Totally love this speed-freak of a non-stop thriller. One of the best page turners that I can recall.
June 19, 2010
Duane Swierczynski in The Blonde comes up with mean slice of revved-up modern Hitchcock thriller. An innocent man gets pulled into situations way beyond his understanding and mayhem and pitch black comedy ensues (with a blonde along for the ride of course). Amoral characters and run amuck nanotechnology keep the action lean and breathless. Pop references like to Jean Patrick Manchette and D.O.A.(the original not the remake) add to the fun . Manchette is a good reference point as he wrote similar lean, relentless thrillers with hip references, peppered with graphic violence, about “normal” men plunged into a world of violence.
November 3, 2016
“The Blonde” by Duane Swierczynski has the best first line ever “I poisoned your drink.”
From there, it just gets better and more complicated. It is a fast-paced thriller that keeps the reader guessing page after page. It is full of puzzles, conspiracies on every level, and tragedy after tragedy. Page after page, the reader is challenged to fit these pieces together in a frantic race against time, and just when things seem to be coming together, here comes another complication.
If you want more of a plot summary, read the other reviews, or better yet, read the book. You will not be disappointed.
From there, it just gets better and more complicated. It is a fast-paced thriller that keeps the reader guessing page after page. It is full of puzzles, conspiracies on every level, and tragedy after tragedy. Page after page, the reader is challenged to fit these pieces together in a frantic race against time, and just when things seem to be coming together, here comes another complication.
If you want more of a plot summary, read the other reviews, or better yet, read the book. You will not be disappointed.
September 11, 2011
Fasten your seatbelts and prepare for a wild ride of Homeland Security assassins, clean-up men, a beautiful blonde who has to be within ten feet of someone or horrible death ensues, an evil man called “The Operator” (what else), nanotechnology creatures called “Mary Kates,” a Sybian Club, and a normal guy who gets caught in something way over his head.
Fun. Perfect for a cross-country plane ride or waiting for the doctor to be finished with the cute drug salesperson (ever notice how they always get in ahead of you without an appointment?)
Fun. Perfect for a cross-country plane ride or waiting for the doctor to be finished with the cute drug salesperson (ever notice how they always get in ahead of you without an appointment?)
June 6, 2019
Ireally liked the concept. It was fast paced and exciting. It lost me with the science. The whole neuro- toxin thing made my brain hurt.
April 2, 2022
The Blonde grabbed me from the first sentence and never let go. It’s a face-paced, rocket ride of a book. Sexy, dangerous, a bit kooky, and loads of fun.
November 29, 2017
Cela se lit d'une traite. Parce qu'on a envie de connaitre la suite, terriblement.
Et c'est à la fois drôle, n'importe quoi, cocasse et certainement flippant pour les protagonistes.
Du coup on se laisse prendre dans l'histoire rocambolesque, l'écriture est fluide et la fin est à mon sens un peu trop rapide et pas si géniale que cela mais c'est toute l'ambiance du livre qui vaut le coup.
Et c'est à la fois drôle, n'importe quoi, cocasse et certainement flippant pour les protagonistes.
Du coup on se laisse prendre dans l'histoire rocambolesque, l'écriture est fluide et la fin est à mon sens un peu trop rapide et pas si géniale que cela mais c'est toute l'ambiance du livre qui vaut le coup.
February 4, 2020
Excellent action packed read!!!
March 10, 2011
The Blonde is a quick read, a fast-paced, farcical, nutty and ultimately irreverent tale written in the crime noir style of pulp fiction. You won't come away from the story hoping for a sequel to experience these characters again, but you'll enjoy the madcap thrill ride while it lasts. The comedic story at times requires a good dose of "suspension of disbelief" although it does have one of the best opening lines I've ever read that is sure to hook readers: "I poisoned your drink."
The plot takes place over the course of one night in Philadelphia, shifting between point-of-view from three characters: scientist Kelly White, journalist Jack Eisley, and covert assassin Mike Kowalski. Kowalski is the most well-rounded of the characters since more of his background is detailed allowing readers to sympathize with him despite his conscienceless profession--which he illustrates throughout the novel as he murders unsuspecting casualties of war who get in his way.
The Blonde, Kelly White is a scientist on the run from The Operator, a villian who co-created The Mary-Kates, micoscopic nanotechnology that replicates itself and lives in human blood. The problem is--the infected victims must remain within 10 feet of another person or the nanos will implode their brain and kill them.
Poor Jack is the dumb shmoe who was in the wrong place at the wrong time and gets unwillingly pulled into the worst night of his life when Kelly announces that she's poisoned him. What follows is a farfetched romp through Philly with Jack trying to remain in close proximity to a city full of strangers while Kelly runs from Kowalski who's been hired to bring her in alive. Their paths cross periodically as Kowalski becomes aware of Jack's infection by Kelly and now must target him as well.
This would make a great beach read, but I doubt it would make the ranks of hardcover fiction. I gave it 3 stars because while the book is enjoyable purely for its fast-pacing, the story is not character-driven enough to make it truly memorable. Charlie Huston is a good alternative for readers preferring more character-driven crime-noir plots.
The plot takes place over the course of one night in Philadelphia, shifting between point-of-view from three characters: scientist Kelly White, journalist Jack Eisley, and covert assassin Mike Kowalski. Kowalski is the most well-rounded of the characters since more of his background is detailed allowing readers to sympathize with him despite his conscienceless profession--which he illustrates throughout the novel as he murders unsuspecting casualties of war who get in his way.
The Blonde, Kelly White is a scientist on the run from The Operator, a villian who co-created The Mary-Kates, micoscopic nanotechnology that replicates itself and lives in human blood. The problem is--the infected victims must remain within 10 feet of another person or the nanos will implode their brain and kill them.
Poor Jack is the dumb shmoe who was in the wrong place at the wrong time and gets unwillingly pulled into the worst night of his life when Kelly announces that she's poisoned him. What follows is a farfetched romp through Philly with Jack trying to remain in close proximity to a city full of strangers while Kelly runs from Kowalski who's been hired to bring her in alive. Their paths cross periodically as Kowalski becomes aware of Jack's infection by Kelly and now must target him as well.
This would make a great beach read, but I doubt it would make the ranks of hardcover fiction. I gave it 3 stars because while the book is enjoyable purely for its fast-pacing, the story is not character-driven enough to make it truly memorable. Charlie Huston is a good alternative for readers preferring more character-driven crime-noir plots.
February 7, 2012
Duane Swierczynski has quite an imagination. His books are unusual, and unpredictable. Such was the case with “The Blonde” (2007).
I previously read two of his other books, “The Wheelman” from 2006 and “Severance Package” from 2008.” “The Blonde” would be in the same league as “Severance Package,�� both of them dealing an ordinary guy caught up in the machinations of a super-secret government agency which specializes in assassinations. But whereas “Severance Package” takes place in one building during a span of a couple hours, “The Blonde” ranges from Great Britain to Mexico.
The first line is, “I poisoned your drink.” It’s spoken in a Philadelphia airport bar by The Blonde to Jack Eisley, a journalist passing through. Here’s the deal: she has been injected with nanites (tiny robots) which course through her blood. She must stay within 10 feet of someone at all times. If she doesn’t, the nanites will know, and her head will explode. Slipping poison into Jack’s drink, with the promise that he’ll die in 9 hours unless she gives him the antidote, is her way of keeping someone close.
The nanites trace back to a diabolical scientist named The Operator, who is following her. There’s another US agency involved, and they’ve sent a benevolence killer named Kowalski after her. Then Jack gets infected with the nanites, too–they can be transmitted through saliva, and in a weak moment he kissed the Blonde. So now he has to stay within 10 feet of someone at all times, too.
The book takes us on a wild ride through nighttime Philadelphia. As with Swierczynski’s other books, the plot is unpredictable. You just don’t know where things are headed, though it’s obvious a showdown is in the works.
I was surprised when THE END came after 225 pages, and another 50 pages remained. Those 50 pages were filled with a novella called “The Redhead,” which was a sequel to “The Blonde.” Interesting. “The Redhead” was very good.
I’ve become a big fan of Duane Swierczynski. He has a few other books out there, and a new one coming out in March 2011. I need to track these books down.
I previously read two of his other books, “The Wheelman” from 2006 and “Severance Package” from 2008.” “The Blonde” would be in the same league as “Severance Package,�� both of them dealing an ordinary guy caught up in the machinations of a super-secret government agency which specializes in assassinations. But whereas “Severance Package” takes place in one building during a span of a couple hours, “The Blonde” ranges from Great Britain to Mexico.
The first line is, “I poisoned your drink.” It’s spoken in a Philadelphia airport bar by The Blonde to Jack Eisley, a journalist passing through. Here’s the deal: she has been injected with nanites (tiny robots) which course through her blood. She must stay within 10 feet of someone at all times. If she doesn’t, the nanites will know, and her head will explode. Slipping poison into Jack’s drink, with the promise that he’ll die in 9 hours unless she gives him the antidote, is her way of keeping someone close.
The nanites trace back to a diabolical scientist named The Operator, who is following her. There’s another US agency involved, and they’ve sent a benevolence killer named Kowalski after her. Then Jack gets infected with the nanites, too–they can be transmitted through saliva, and in a weak moment he kissed the Blonde. So now he has to stay within 10 feet of someone at all times, too.
The book takes us on a wild ride through nighttime Philadelphia. As with Swierczynski’s other books, the plot is unpredictable. You just don’t know where things are headed, though it’s obvious a showdown is in the works.
I was surprised when THE END came after 225 pages, and another 50 pages remained. Those 50 pages were filled with a novella called “The Redhead,” which was a sequel to “The Blonde.” Interesting. “The Redhead” was very good.
I’ve become a big fan of Duane Swierczynski. He has a few other books out there, and a new one coming out in March 2011. I need to track these books down.
May 18, 2012
Really good thrill ride. Reminds me of Victor Gischler, Warren Ellis or Chuck Palahniuk. Improbable fun with zany characters- but not silly or immature. The "heroes" are an innocent traveler and a quasi-govt assassin. The "heroine" is a blonde who has caused the death of many men. A lot of fun - I will be reading more of Duane Swierczynski's books.
June 20, 2010
Poor Jack, he flies into Philadelphia for an appointment with his (soon to be) ex-wife's attorney. Meets a blonde...has a drink....I poisoned your drink she says...What..from then on, it's fast-paced thriller until the end. A great read. Of course, it's not for the squeamish!
November 17, 2022
So.
Painfully.
Lame.
Written for eight year olds. Wait, that's not fair to eight year olds... I'll just say that after 64 pages I couldn't take the ridiculousness any longer. Truly awful.
Ugh....
Zero Stars
Painfully.
Lame.
Written for eight year olds. Wait, that's not fair to eight year olds... I'll just say that after 64 pages I couldn't take the ridiculousness any longer. Truly awful.
Ugh....
Zero Stars
May 30, 2011
Great read, love the non-stop action!
May 21, 2010
RATING: 3.25
August 1, 2016
cracking thriller - rollercoaster ride, fast-moving plot.
March 10, 2008
This reminded me somewhat of the Julie Kenner Play.Win.Survive trilogy (except not as good!)...
September 28, 2018
What would you do if the situation arose whereby if you were ever more than ten feet away from another person, you'd die? And how good would you become at measuring ten feet?
Or if you were in an airport bar and your drink was spiked by a beautiful blonde who claimed to have poisoned your drink and that you'll be dead within eight hours unless she gave you the antidote? You might do nothing, but when you start chucking your guts up as predicted by the woman, what then?
Or, if your partner and unborn child were murdered by the mob and you were a trained killer, how would you respond? And if you were working for some double secret service and had to carry a dead man's head back to base even though it's still attached to the body when you find it?
Or you're a ruthless, mercenary scientist who is ready to sell the ultimate weapon, only there's one person in the way and there's only one way to stop her?
Blimey, that's a lot of questions. Even so, there are far more in The Blonde (US), only I don't want to raise them and spoil your fun.
The opening of this novel is about as good as it gets. Attention is held from the off. "I poisoned your drink," is the first line and that's all it took to have me hooked. There's something of The Temple Of Doom about the setup and it really works a treat. You know you're in safe hands from that moment on. Then again, it's always possible that such a winning gambit is a fluke. That possibility is quickly burned out when the multiple points of view weave together to increase the intrigue rather than dilute it.
Jack Eisley is the man who has been poisoned. He's in town to meet with the hot-shot lawyer who's batting for his wife. On the whole, he'd rather be anywhere than Philadelphia. When he realises that the blonde's threat is far from idle, he needs to get the antidote fast and dashes back the airport to find the woman who did the dirty on him.
Secret agent and war vet Mike Kowalski is also heading for the airport. His instructions are to find the same blonde Jack's looking for.
When they find the locate her, she's sucking the tongue off some average guy who can't resist such an adorable lady.
What happens from then on is for you to find out. I won't say much other than to point out that it's a fast-paced adventure with genuine tension and terrific action where each character is stretched to the absolute limit and gets to visit some freaky places along the way.
The core premise is absolutely ace, but it needs a writer full of confidence and skill to pull it off. Swierczynski clearly has both of those in abundance and he succeeds where others might fear to tread.
After the adrenaline rush of the novel, it's difficult to imagine how it could possibly end. I mentioned that the beginning was terrific and I can also tell you that it has a conclusion to match - utterly satisfying and bordering on genius.
Or if you were in an airport bar and your drink was spiked by a beautiful blonde who claimed to have poisoned your drink and that you'll be dead within eight hours unless she gave you the antidote? You might do nothing, but when you start chucking your guts up as predicted by the woman, what then?
Or, if your partner and unborn child were murdered by the mob and you were a trained killer, how would you respond? And if you were working for some double secret service and had to carry a dead man's head back to base even though it's still attached to the body when you find it?
Or you're a ruthless, mercenary scientist who is ready to sell the ultimate weapon, only there's one person in the way and there's only one way to stop her?
Blimey, that's a lot of questions. Even so, there are far more in The Blonde (US), only I don't want to raise them and spoil your fun.
The opening of this novel is about as good as it gets. Attention is held from the off. "I poisoned your drink," is the first line and that's all it took to have me hooked. There's something of The Temple Of Doom about the setup and it really works a treat. You know you're in safe hands from that moment on. Then again, it's always possible that such a winning gambit is a fluke. That possibility is quickly burned out when the multiple points of view weave together to increase the intrigue rather than dilute it.
Jack Eisley is the man who has been poisoned. He's in town to meet with the hot-shot lawyer who's batting for his wife. On the whole, he'd rather be anywhere than Philadelphia. When he realises that the blonde's threat is far from idle, he needs to get the antidote fast and dashes back the airport to find the woman who did the dirty on him.
Secret agent and war vet Mike Kowalski is also heading for the airport. His instructions are to find the same blonde Jack's looking for.
When they find the locate her, she's sucking the tongue off some average guy who can't resist such an adorable lady.
What happens from then on is for you to find out. I won't say much other than to point out that it's a fast-paced adventure with genuine tension and terrific action where each character is stretched to the absolute limit and gets to visit some freaky places along the way.
The core premise is absolutely ace, but it needs a writer full of confidence and skill to pull it off. Swierczynski clearly has both of those in abundance and he succeeds where others might fear to tread.
After the adrenaline rush of the novel, it's difficult to imagine how it could possibly end. I mentioned that the beginning was terrific and I can also tell you that it has a conclusion to match - utterly satisfying and bordering on genius.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 164 reviews