Super Baby: 12 Ways to Give Your Child a Head Start in the First 3 Years

by Jenn Berman

The first three years of life are the most important for nurturing a child's full potential: that's when they start forming attachments, developing a sense of self, and learning to trust. During this time, there are critical windows of opportunity that parents can take advantage of-if they know how. In a dozen succinct yet information-packed chapters, award-winning columnist and professional therapist Dr. Jenn Berman gives parents the knowledge they need. Her enlightening sidebars, bulleted lists, and concrete, easy-to-use strategies will help parents raise happy, healthy babies…who grow to be flourishing toddlers and successful adults.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Unfinished, Family, Education, Childrens

392 pages, Hardcover

First published September 7, 2010

Reviews

[Becky · Rating 3 out of 5]

I should have read the introduction better and browsed the topics in the table of contents before I started reading this book. At first, I was going to read this book straight through and implement all "12 ways to give your child a head start in the first 3 years." I felt like I needed to do this because I have a 3 1/2 year old and a 1 year old at the time & if it was too late for my 3 1/2 yr old then my 1 year old would at least only be a year behind.
The first chapter was overwhelming. It is on communication with your child. This is a major area that I struggle with my 3 yr old. Each page made me feel more incompetent and more like it was my fault that my 3 yr old was yelling / throwing tempertantrums.
So I stopped reading & it sat on my shelf for 2 weeks.
Then I picked it up again and read through the table of contents. I read the later chapters / topics that interested me and I gained confidence in my parenting abilities (since I limit TV time, have a flexible schedule, etc. - other things I'm doing right). I got some ideas on feeding, playing, and reading to my kids better.
Finally I decided to conquer the first two chapters: Talk the Talk: Respectful communication & You Got Me!: responding to cues. I read these completely - since these are areas in which we face numerous struggles a day in my house and I didn't feel so much like a horrible parent.

Overall, this book gave me a couple good ideas to try and some new books to check into reading. Dr. Jenn Berman is pretty relatable (although teaching your child a foreign language is a super-parent thing I won't attempt in the near future no matter how beneficial she says it is & I'm still going to let my children watch TV occasionally, even if they are under the age of 3 *gasp*) and her tone throughout is enjoyable and mostly empathetic to the plights parents experience in todays world.

[Erica · Rating 3 out of 5]

after reading reviews on this book, it seems like I had the same experience as most readers. the author comes off as very "holier than thou" in a parental sort if way, and once you read the first chapter you feel like a failure for sitting around and enjoying your child's life. why aren't you enrolling them in preschool? went aren't you teaching them a foreign language? and heaven forbid why are you letting them watch tv while you have some coveted down time?
once I got the hang of rolling my eyes at the unrealistic parts of the book, I found done great suggestions, especially regarding the food chapter. my daughter is a very picky eater and the author's ideas of giving up control at meal time and letting her body and instincts decide how much to eat was enough to get me to keep this book on hand to answer any other questions that pop up in new mommyhood.
because I'm not trying to turn my child into the next Mozart or Einstein, and just letting her enjoy being a child, I think I'm not getting the full use out of this book. But it serves me well for SUGGESTIONS and only suggestions. do not let this book make you feel bad for believing that childhood is a beautiful and playful time of life. you are the parent, deep down you know what's best, not a detached author writing a catch-all best selling parenting manual.

[Erica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Engaging book that served as an excellent introduction to a variety of childcare issues. Great way to get your feet wet (but possibly less useful if you've read a lot of baby books). I found her chapter on languages anxiety-producing, but otherwise learned a lot.

[Emily D. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have mixed feelings about this book. I'll get the negative out of the way first and say that after I realized I was reading a book written by a celebrity, rather than just some renowned doctor-turned-author, it was a little hard for me to take the information as seriously. I'm in a totally different world from someone who lives in a mansion in Beverly Hills, so I started to take some things with a grain of salt. After my realization, I was like, "oh, of course she can toss suggestions into her book about enrolling your kids in a Mandarin Chinese class. She's in a place where that is more easily done".
That being said, I did learn a ton of solid information from this book. And even if none of it works, I'm intrigued to give some of the suggestions a try. None of the things she suggested would be harmful, so why not. I'll give baby sign language a whirl (so far I'm about a week and a half in, and no response, but I'll give it a fair try). I'll throw a few Spanish books into the daily reading stack for toddler big sis. This book inspired me to significantly reduce screen time at home and so far that time is being much better spent in active play, rather than passive watching, which is A-ok in my book. And heck, I'll try to detox my home and my family's diet in reasonable and affordable ways when I can. I've needed a kick in the pants to do that for awhile now anyway.
All in all, I enjoyed learning from this book, when I could look past a few bothersome aspects. I'll give almost all 12 of these suggestions a solid effort and see where they take me and my tikes.

[J · Rating 2 out of 5]

I tried really hard to take this book seriously, but just couldn’t... everything “Bringing up Bebe" mocks and more is preached in this book.

The book starts off by saying that it won’t tell you how to create a “superbaby” and then proceeds to try to do just that. Parental anxieties about raising successful children are poked and prodded to ridiculous levels. Apparently teaching your baby a second (and possibly third) language as well as sign language by the age of 3 is a requirement. As are a million other RIDICULOUS things! When the book started talking about the values of narration (verbally describing life to your child like a sportscaster) I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I skimmed the rest of the book.

Trying one or two of the millions tips in the book might be helpful. But the book lists hundreds of different “requirements” to make your baby successful. It was just too ridiculous. It is a baby! I feel sorry for any parents who read this book seriously. You are heading down a path that will leave you anxious and miserable! And if you “succeed” with the herculean tasks set before you, your child will be over programmed, but not necessary any more advanced than the next child. Just like “Baby Einstein”, this is a fad that at best will accomplish nothing and at worst may hurt parents & children.

[Julie R. · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book should be called Everything Can Hurt Your Baby. I started with the It's Easy to be Green chapter. Yeah right. I need to be cleaning my house with water and vinegar, apparently. All my six month old son's toys are probably toxic. The cotton in his clothes is full of pesticides. There's an anecdote from this lady who had a baby with eczema. My six-month old has it as well. This woman says she did some research and "What I discovered was shocking-everything in my home, including the products I used to clean it, was toxic." For real? Everything?! She says, "I immediately threw out everything in my son's nursery." There's the word "everything" again. She replaces all her son's stuff with "safe alternatives." She says she "searched the planet" for them. The happy ending? Her son's eczema cleared up. Congrats to you lady,but I have neither the time nor money for that. Food for Thought, the next chapter, details the pesticides in baby food and urges buying all organic. Oy, this lady is scaring the bejeezus out of me. Don't know how much truth is in all this, but new moms have enough to worry about. I recommend Eat, Sleep, Poop. It's a less out there, more doable approach to baby care, and whaddaya know, it was written by a pediatrician, not a therapist.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this book. The SuperBaby title is a little misleading - it's not about applying some formula to your baby to make them some kind of genius. This book has a lot of interesting research, and not as much practical how-to. For example, it gave a lot of interesting research about the toxins in disposable diapers and listed some options (clothing diapering, EC), but didn't go through step-by-step how to apply these approaches.

This book can really be read straight through - the research is really interesting & it helps inform the parent on why they make their decisions. If you use Dr. Sears books, you'll really like this book. I especially liked the sections on food, reading, television, and sign language.

I wasn't as impressed with the sections on communication and things she had to say about discipline, but that's ok. The author can be a little condescending at times and totally dismissive of other parenting styles.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I will come clean and say that "read" is a bit of an overstatement. I skimmed this book and read parts of chapters that were more appealing to me. I don't know that anything that I skimmed was some earth shattering piece of information. My favorite chapters were "Talk the Talk" and "Different Kind of Toy Story". I completely skipped (as in did not even skim) the foreign language and signing chapters ("Talk to the Hand" and "Babies Without Borders"). I liked how the book was organized and also liked how the information was presented. The one thing that typically annoys me with parenting books is how repetitive they are - I didn't find that to be so much the case with this book.

[llgbooks · Rating 3 out of 5]

Full of so much information -- overwhelming! It took me a long time to read because my brain was on overload every few pages.
A lot of good info and tips for raising a happy and healthy child, but I felt some of it is a bit overkill.... Based on some the authors stats and recommendations, it is amazing that any of us ever survived being raised by our parents. I think it could have been organized a bit better as well, it's kind of a jumbled mess. But I did gain some knowledge and I know my child will benefit from it.

[Keli Wright · Rating 2 out of 5]

this book got two stars because it it had a COUPLE good ideas other than that it was just her ideas and thoughts and feelings and I feel like they are geared to make you feel guilty if you are not the idealistic perfect parent she is..like it was all like "this is the perfect way!" and here are all these studies to prove it... whatever..

[jay walker · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you've read any other parenting books, there's not a lot of new material in this book. It can at times be so repetitive I felt it to be condescending and some things I found to be a little extreme (for example: no tickling because it shows physical dominance over your child). But enough interesting ideas and pointers to flip through, I stopped reading it page-for-page about halfway through.

[Gingeraltoids · Rating 2 out of 5]

The title was off-putting to me, and the author seems to assume that the reader has a certain socioeconomic status necessitated by her suggestions (Mandarin lessons, anyone?). However there were some useful tidbits for enriching your child's environment. The section on TV viewing seemed well-researched.

[Allison · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this book - easy insights into the little things I can do to enhance everyday life for my little one.

[Faye Zheng · Rating 2 out of 5]

Skimmed this book for useful content and found very little. The premise of this book is to encourage parents to try to optimize every aspect of their kids’ lives and development, which I find incredibly tiresome.

[Ray · Rating 4 out of 5]

Book is full of practical and research-supported ways to provide the best mental, emotional and physical care for your child, whether a newborn or preschool and older. I really appreciate how the author provides research-supported advice, not just anecdotal tips. Talk to the child, even if he doesn't understand. Give him limited options. Research the products you give your child. This book provides list of ingredients/materials to avoid. Have the child learn different languages, including sign language, to improve general learning and communication. Reading to the child is important, starting from infancy. No TV before 3, not even those "educational" programs. Lots of tips to give my child a head start. This was the first child-rearing book I've read, so I don't have much to gauge this book off of, but I'd recommend this to parents of young children or future parents.

[Lily · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the BEST parenting guide I have read thus far. Dr. Jenn culls ideas and research from an impressive number of publications to put forth a practical and inspiring series of insights into child development and parenting. Although some of her suggestions were a little over the top (I had difficulty buying the notion that raising tri-lingual children in a home where both parents are mono-lingual is a modern day necessity), most were quite doable. I approached the chapter on sign language with skepticism, but I came away convinced by Dr. Jenn's well researched and articulate arguments. Children develop physical ability before linguistic ability, and their ability to communicate in sign matures well before their ability to speak their mind. Sign language can cut down on tantrums and frustration because kids can actually communicate their problems and needs to their caregivers. What a great concept!

I did find the chapter on detoxifying your home to be daunting. It turns out everything is toxic, and to go completely green (by her definition) would require massive amounts of time and money. I did appreciate some of her more practical tips; investing in a great vacuum with a HEPA filter is a great way to get the myriad of poisonous substances that we unknowingly track in off the floor. I also appreciated her advice to simply take off your shoes at the door (which, when combined with regular vacuuming , can reduce pollutants on your floors by 90something percent!).

I almost skipped the chapter on food and nutrition because I assumed I knew everything she would have to say on the subject already. Wrong. I am so glad I didn't skip this chapter! Dr. Jenn goes through a series of specific toxic and carcinogenic food additives that sneak their way into even the most innocuous sounding foods. For example, products that are MSG free could very well have other forms of MSG in the food--but by a different name. Her list of additives to avoid is something worth copying and bringing to the grocery store every time you shop.

A couple other big takeaways: narrate events to your infant/child and respect your child's responses, give your child plenty of choices (as opposed to constantly saying "no" or ordering the child around), read, read, read to and with your child, absolutely no TV before the age of 3--and close monitoring after that, play time is essential for neural and social development, and avoid "academic" preschools.

If I were only allowed one book for parenting advice, I would pick this one.

[Molly · Rating 3 out of 5]

10/21: The introduction made me set the book down and think, "Maybe this book isn't for me."

I got to: "Researchers now know that children are born with an IQ range that can vary as much as thirty points, depending upon outside factors."

This is valid and fine and nine thousand percent not for me. I'm not reading this book so Maya becomes smarter, even though the title says otherwise. I'm reading it because I love the idea of creating a rich environment for my daughter, and I love culling books and blogs (and pinterest) for ideas. I'm a stay-at-home-mama, which has been wonderful and puts a lot of responsibility in my corner.

I'm going to read past the introduction though. I have this goofy need to finish a book I started, no matter how much I shudder, but I'm also not giving up so easily. I've found that even in the worst of the parenting books I've read thus far, there's a few bits that are helpful or at least nice in a confirming sense.

11/10: Ignoring the what-you-can-do-to-improve-your-child's-smarts, which eventually was on the track that I agree with (provide a rich environment for your kiddo, don't push them, love them and let them feel safe, etc.), this book had some good suggestions. Some suggestions that make me shudder (I cannot learn a whole other language in order for my children to be bilingual--I can barely get the laundry done at a decent clip), but others I wholeheartedly support (reading and building a library for your little, being a good example for your child, especially in screen time and foods, etc.). This will inspire me to make some positive changes around here for the benefit of the babe.

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

As anxious pregnant woman and newbie parent, I was thrilled with the comprehensive nature of this book. Dr. Jenn gives lots of information and summaries of the parenting literature. And, I am in love with the charts, tables, and format of the book. It is a great reference book for suggested books, toys, developmental stages and parenting strategies. Dr Jenn's tone is approachable and concrete, which is very appealing.

That being said, Dr Jenn takes a hard stance on the issues that are important to her (and many other parents) that did not resonate with me. Several chapters I skipped, not because of good info, but because it is not a priority to me in parenting - teaching foreign language and safety. Some chapters I read, to learn but I know that my style will not be as exaggerated as she suggests - no tv.

Bottom line: this is a very well written, comprehensive book on several strategies to encourage academic success from a very early stage; however, maintaining and incorporating all discussed topics and recommendations is an act of futility or a nervous breakdown for you or your child. Read this book with an eye to incorporate what works for you, and don't view it as a critique of your parenting skills!

[jacky · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this one. I thought it was going to be gimmicky and unrealistic. With a title like Superbaby, I thought for sure it would go against how I feel about pushing kids to do too much. But, this book is not like that at all. It outlines 12 ways to give your child an advantage the first three years. A few of them I found more cumbersome than the average parent is going to be willing to try (such as teaching a second language if you don't speak one already or ridding your home of all the toxins when there are toxins in cotton and all body care products). Several of the ideas she pointed out I already felt strongly about (reading aloud for instance). There were only two points I walked away feeling I strongly disagreed with: 1) The sample schedules she gave for babies didn't suggest breastfeeding on demand and 2)I feel that the crib should be for sleep, not quiet play; a play pen is for quiet play. I would buy this book in a heartbeat for new parents, thought it might be a bit overwhelming for first time parents who might feel they have to do everything little thing suggested.

[Laurie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think the author did a fantastic job of describing many of the ways that children learn and grow. Many of the points the author makes I already knew from college courses I have taken in the past. I feel that a lot of the previous reviewers did not really "read" the book. She brings the reader many options for parents that want to teach their children a foreign language or sign language that may not have the financial resources to hire someone to help. When it comes to TV, she says that it is not recommended to let a child watch before the age of two and backs it up with reliable sources. I was her decision not to let her children watch before the age of three. I definitely learned the most from chapters 11 and 12, which were about toxic chemicals and nutrition. The book's low rating is most likely due to people not agreeing with every point the author makes or they are lazy in general. This does not mean the book is not well written or that it provides information that has not been backed up by reliable sources. I did not agree with everything the author stated, but it was still a wonderful book filled with useful information every parent should know.

[Jenn · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book had great advice for dealing with 18month olds and above and I will remind myself to revisit it during those years. The information on babies was okay. Lots was info/research from other authors so I'll pick up their books for the full story (I know and want Noah on a schedule but how if he wakes at a different time each day). I think Dr. Jenn is a parent possibly to the extreme (3year old twins know 3 languages plus ASL, did not see any TV until 3yrs old, etc) but I did feel like I could improve on many things in our house and not be extreme. The last two or three chapters (TV, Chemicals, and Food) scared the crap out of me by just providing truthful information. The US needs a change in what drives change to make things safer for everyone. I will take a lot from Dr. Jenn and implement it into our daily lives so I would give this 3 1/2 stars and hopefully will look at it again in the future.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have a love-hate relationship with parenting books. There is something about parenting "experts" who share anecdote after anecdote of times that they quickly and easily corrected their friends and clients to solve all parenting problems that tend to rub me the wrong way. I don't believe in a one-size-fits-all parenting approach and the tone, as others have mentioned, is a bit condescending. Yet I continue to read these books because I am interested in what has worked for others and curious about the research on raising children.

All that said, I liked this parenting book more than most. While there were plenty of anecdotes of how the author has saved the day, this book is also supported by a lot of research and offers realistic and practical suggestions. This includes specific books to read, activities you can do with your baby and toddler at specific ages, and even pictures to show how to get started with baby sign language and baby massage.

[Coltin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Eh, I had a lot of issues with this book. The author says the word "scientist" what felt like an infinite amount of times to substantiate claims made throughout the book. There are also a lot of studies mentioned, but very little information about them is presented. For example, how many children were involved, during what years, what was their socio-economic status, how did the study account for X, Y, and Z bias, etc. Perhaps this information wouldn't fit the flow of the book (it's not an academic paper or anything), but if you're trying to convince me to do or not do something, I want more compelling reasoning than "there was a study done that showed what I'm saying".

Overall I think the book has a lot of very useful information in this book, but the authors tone mixed with the above leave me only willing to recommend this book with a strong disclaimer.

[Shirley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked browing through this book for the anecdotes that are sprinkled throughout the book (it's always fun to read about other parents' experiences!) The two sections that really caught my eye were 1) how sign language benefits young children (by developing both sides of the brain and enabling them to communicate with their hands before they can communicate verbally) and 2) how growing up bilingual (or even trilingual!) can make children more verbal and expressive. There's also a section on the importance of reading to your child early on and a list of good books to get. And yay--libraries are mentioned as a great place to take your child to for books, programs, and storytime!

[Kelley · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's a good survey book of other parenting books and methods. It can be a bit preachy and for nervous new parents might make you upset that you haven't stared teaching your kid Sign language at 3 months or enrolled them in Chinese classes. But I'd you're not the A rupee personality I think you can take the good from this and move on. I liked the information about toxins, more encouragement about living tv free, scheduling, routines, reading books to your child and communication. The bits on preventing tantrums made me want to read more from e authors she quotes. Also her use of academic research was great. I'm tired of some parenting books relying only on opinion.

[Memo · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book contains a lot of good tips about parenting. I personally selected this book because it was recommended by a friend. The advice given in here is easy to follow most of the time, but some things like going all organic in food & all pure cotton fabrics are not so easy. I understand that babies nowadays are more exposed to dangerous chemicals in the environment, in the food, fabrics and even toys, so trying to eliminate these elements from them is important, but it is also expensive.

Take this book as a good advice when you want to answer those questions about what is better for your kids.

[Carrie Rose · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was a tricky book to review, because I did find it interesting but I also disagreed with the author's points enough to make me dislike the book. Just the name of this book tipped me off that I disagreed with the author! I think the crazed parents trying to give their babies a "head start" are taking everything way too far. I think the most important thing is to give babies lots of love and attention (which is hard to do when they're away from home taking classes in Mandarin, like the author's toddlers). I thought I would at least agree with the chapter on reading to your baby, but it turns out that I'm not even doing that right - I was supposed to read to my daughter in utero!

[Jessica Kolodziej · Rating 2 out of 5]

You have a baby and all you want is to be the best for your little cutie. This is a lot of book with very basic principles we've heard before. Your baby will be a Superbaby if you talk to them a lot, teach them to sign, don't let them watch too much TV and keep them away from toxic house cleaners and the like. Another author with advice, some of it common sense and you read it in hopes you have a kid that thrives. Sometimes I wonder though if reading all these parenting books doesn't make you crazier. I just wonder when she is 18, the fact that I taught her to sign "please " and used vinegar to clean my house is why she is going to college.

[Joel Hoyt · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a big book with a lot of advice about how to help your kid develop. Trying to apply it all like a big instruction manual would be a huge burden. But I picked a good bit of it that seemed interesting and achievable to me and tried to apply it. I'm reasonably sure it helped some. It helped me to be a more patient and engaged parent. It helped me to think more carefully about a lot of the decisions to be made. Who can ever say for sure if books like this really 'work', but I'm confident it helped. My kid's almost 4 and I'm quite happy with how she's turned out. For whatever that's worth.

[Lenore Webb · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have always felt that knowledge is power. So teaching your child gives them a head start on life. And those first three years can be ever so important. Superbaby is a book that helps you with tools, tips and techniques to help your child with their potential. I love that it gives you ways to reduce resistance and avoid tantrums. This will really help my niece and nephew with their middle daughter. She is already quite a handful. But there are more tools on sleep habits, language development, social, emotional and intellectual skills.