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Dance with Them: 30 Stumbling Mothers Share Glimpses of Grace
When it comes to mothering school-age children-biological kids, step kids, or even the kids next door, with or without a partnering spouse-one of the biggest challenges is maintaining connection and balance during nearly constant flux. Each day we negotiate matters of independence, control, tolerance, closeness, expectations, safety, trust, acceptance, boundaries, conflict, and, perhaps most of all, the difficult reality that both mothers and children must learn through experience. Our mothering relationships are like intricate dances through time and space, forming patterns as unique as our individual children. And just as we're getting our footing, the rhythm is sure to shift. Enjoyable as a sequel to _The Mother in Me_ as well as a stand-alone volume, this anthology of personal essays and poetry begins on the first notes of middle childhood and concludes with the finale of high school graduation. Its pages explore a wide variety of turning points that come in the outward motion of family life and the inward dynamics of personal growth. To be sure, the dance of motherhood is often more of a stumble. But with candor, insight, and the bittersweet inspiration Segullah writers are known for, these thirty contributing authors convincingly show that even the clumsiest of dancers have moments of grace.
230 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2010
40 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
November 14, 2010
This summer, part of my mindset about motherhood has fundamentally changed. I couldn't tell you really why, or how it happened. It just did. It was kind of like something in me just snapped and I realized that these children that have been placed in my care will not be here with me long and I need to make the most of it.
It's not that I didn't know that before, of course. It's just that I really didn't pay attention to that fact. Motherhood hasn't come so naturally for me in the nearly 10 years I've been one. It's so easy to get caught up in day-to-day life and hardships like school and money and work and keeping the house clean that I tend to forget the things that matter most. Or maybe just put them at a lower priority than they should be, since maybe "forget" is probably too strong a word.
Suddenly, I find myself wanting to make memories with my children and to teach them everything I know and to be with them and love them with an urgency that I haven't quite experienced before. And I kind of like it. I like the way it brings me back to basics. It crowds out all the stuff and helps me keep my precious daughters front and center. Right where they need to be.
But I am really not very good at it, no matter how much my mindset has changed.
Dance With Them: 30 Stumbling Mothers Share Glimpses of Grace edited by Kathryn Lynard Soper, was sent to me for review a couple months ago. I took my time with this book, as it is a collection of essays and I really enjoyed savoring it.
The mothers who authored the essays and poetry within its pages are mothers just like me: Mothers who struggle with knowing just how to be a mother at all, but who understand how important it is and do their very best. Some of them have crosses to bear that are beyond anything I have ever had to do. Others have more run-of-the-mill experiences, more like mine. All of them taught me something about what motherhood is all about.
One of my favorite poems in the book is entitled "Holy Ground" by Darlene Young. In it she talks about the ratty couch on which she reads to her children and the lessons they learn together as they read.
The line, "I'm planting seeds here on this couch" struck me quite forcefully as I read it. Who cares if the couch isn't the newest or the best or the cutest? (Things that I often worry about, I admit.) What really matters are the children on it, the books read, the lessons learned and the seeds planted.
To me, that basic lesson was the gist of this entire book. We do our best with what we have, because our children are a gift and a blessing that we must take seriously.
And yet, what might work today or with one child, may not work again tomorrow or with another child. The essay by Sharlee Mullins Glenn which gave the book its title, explains it like this:
"A dance isn’t about power or control. A dance is about trust, connection, cooperation, flexibility, and fun. A dance is about two people moving together, however awkwardly, trying to make things work, trying to create something beautiful, something symbiotic. For beginners, the movement is often clunky and halting. Toes get stepped on, people stumble and slip, sometimes they even fall. But then, hopefully, they laugh (or cry), help each other up, and start again."
And that's exactly what this all is. This dance of motherhood. Learning how to dance with each child, learning how to make it work, getting up after each fall and trying again. Doing our best--stumbling as we are--and looking to God for the help He is there to give.
Loved this book. Read it, savor it, and learn to dance.
It's not that I didn't know that before, of course. It's just that I really didn't pay attention to that fact. Motherhood hasn't come so naturally for me in the nearly 10 years I've been one. It's so easy to get caught up in day-to-day life and hardships like school and money and work and keeping the house clean that I tend to forget the things that matter most. Or maybe just put them at a lower priority than they should be, since maybe "forget" is probably too strong a word.
Suddenly, I find myself wanting to make memories with my children and to teach them everything I know and to be with them and love them with an urgency that I haven't quite experienced before. And I kind of like it. I like the way it brings me back to basics. It crowds out all the stuff and helps me keep my precious daughters front and center. Right where they need to be.
But I am really not very good at it, no matter how much my mindset has changed.
Dance With Them: 30 Stumbling Mothers Share Glimpses of Grace edited by Kathryn Lynard Soper, was sent to me for review a couple months ago. I took my time with this book, as it is a collection of essays and I really enjoyed savoring it.
The mothers who authored the essays and poetry within its pages are mothers just like me: Mothers who struggle with knowing just how to be a mother at all, but who understand how important it is and do their very best. Some of them have crosses to bear that are beyond anything I have ever had to do. Others have more run-of-the-mill experiences, more like mine. All of them taught me something about what motherhood is all about.
One of my favorite poems in the book is entitled "Holy Ground" by Darlene Young. In it she talks about the ratty couch on which she reads to her children and the lessons they learn together as they read.
The line, "I'm planting seeds here on this couch" struck me quite forcefully as I read it. Who cares if the couch isn't the newest or the best or the cutest? (Things that I often worry about, I admit.) What really matters are the children on it, the books read, the lessons learned and the seeds planted.
To me, that basic lesson was the gist of this entire book. We do our best with what we have, because our children are a gift and a blessing that we must take seriously.
And yet, what might work today or with one child, may not work again tomorrow or with another child. The essay by Sharlee Mullins Glenn which gave the book its title, explains it like this:
"A dance isn’t about power or control. A dance is about trust, connection, cooperation, flexibility, and fun. A dance is about two people moving together, however awkwardly, trying to make things work, trying to create something beautiful, something symbiotic. For beginners, the movement is often clunky and halting. Toes get stepped on, people stumble and slip, sometimes they even fall. But then, hopefully, they laugh (or cry), help each other up, and start again."
And that's exactly what this all is. This dance of motherhood. Learning how to dance with each child, learning how to make it work, getting up after each fall and trying again. Doing our best--stumbling as we are--and looking to God for the help He is there to give.
Loved this book. Read it, savor it, and learn to dance.
May 13, 2011
Essays = good.
Poetry = not my favorite.
I didn't like all of the essays, but I liked most of them. I'd agree that this isn't as good as The Mother In Me, but it's still worth a read. This was the perfect thing to read during potty training - reminded me not to kill my kid, and it was short and each essay self-contained. Awesome.
Poetry = not my favorite.
I didn't like all of the essays, but I liked most of them. I'd agree that this isn't as good as The Mother In Me, but it's still worth a read. This was the perfect thing to read during potty training - reminded me not to kill my kid, and it was short and each essay self-contained. Awesome.
February 1, 2016
Though it's certainly not a parenting manual, I gleaned valuable insights from the writing here. I'm only at the beginning of the parenting journey and I was inspired by the beautiful thoughts expressed by others who are further along in the path than I am.
May 29, 2012
I lay in my bed with the faded and balling sheets and the Hiccup-and-Toothless comforter borrowed from my firstborn whilst I put off the search for our summer bedding, the paperback book held up gingerly, as paperbacks are wont to be held, as I navigate through 30 essays, almost all of them written in the trendy present tense with obnoxious overemphasis on the minutiae of mothering moments. After a while, I get nauseated with every essay beginning the same way and learn to skim. Other than that, this was not a bad book.
This book seduced me from the library shelf because I noticed it the day before Mother's Day. I could tell by the profoundly simple title that it was just the kind of reflective, sentimental reading I wanted to do on Mother's Day -- in a perfect world where I could sit down and read something on a Sunday. The twirling cover girl with the tiered, ruffly skirt and the oversized flower in her hair didn't hurt anything.
On Mother's Day, after giving talks in Sacrament Meeting (I say "talks," plural, because I co-authored my husband's for him), teaching Primary, making lunch, doing dishes, and delivering Mother's Day treats to the sisters I visit teach, I pulled out this book and gave it a try. Then my 5YO came wanting to play a game wherein I am "tricked" into smelling his stinky shoes. I embraced the irony of pushing my son away so I could read a book about embracing motherhood. I told him he could play disney.com games, even on a Sunday, even without earning it. It was my Mother's Day gift to myself.
I'm glad I did. I laughed, I cried. It was like that rare Relief Society lesson that everyone leaves feeling like sisters. I am amazed at what some women can endure and glad that other women, like me, feel the burden of the blessing of everyday motherhood.
My husband expressed concern that I was so involved in this LDS book. "You used to read books like Kite Runner," he said. "Now you're back in cheesy Mormon novels." But just one can't hurt!
But for prepping you for the condescending Mother's Day talks that never fail to leave you depressed, All Moms Go to Heaven: Reflections is still my pick.
This book seduced me from the library shelf because I noticed it the day before Mother's Day. I could tell by the profoundly simple title that it was just the kind of reflective, sentimental reading I wanted to do on Mother's Day -- in a perfect world where I could sit down and read something on a Sunday. The twirling cover girl with the tiered, ruffly skirt and the oversized flower in her hair didn't hurt anything.
On Mother's Day, after giving talks in Sacrament Meeting (I say "talks," plural, because I co-authored my husband's for him), teaching Primary, making lunch, doing dishes, and delivering Mother's Day treats to the sisters I visit teach, I pulled out this book and gave it a try. Then my 5YO came wanting to play a game wherein I am "tricked" into smelling his stinky shoes. I embraced the irony of pushing my son away so I could read a book about embracing motherhood. I told him he could play disney.com games, even on a Sunday, even without earning it. It was my Mother's Day gift to myself.
I'm glad I did. I laughed, I cried. It was like that rare Relief Society lesson that everyone leaves feeling like sisters. I am amazed at what some women can endure and glad that other women, like me, feel the burden of the blessing of everyday motherhood.
My husband expressed concern that I was so involved in this LDS book. "You used to read books like Kite Runner," he said. "Now you're back in cheesy Mormon novels." But just one can't hurt!
But for prepping you for the condescending Mother's Day talks that never fail to leave you depressed, All Moms Go to Heaven: Reflections is still my pick.
January 24, 2011
Okay, 3.5 stars. I liked it more and more toward the end, perhaps because halfway through reading it, I stumbled into motherhood myself. Favorite lines:
1. "I wish I could trust God more completely when he tells me there is no fear in love" (86).
2. "I have to believe that, over the course of a life, the sheer repetition of mistakes followed by sorrow followed by insight followed by resolve, winds up equaling wisdom" (91).
3. "Once we strip away our daily worries and pride, and our need to keep up appearances, the light of Christ simply shines through" (172).
4. "We wander through life bumping and bruising each other, amateurs, every one of us; but ultimately, we all want to love and be loved" (174).
1. "I wish I could trust God more completely when he tells me there is no fear in love" (86).
2. "I have to believe that, over the course of a life, the sheer repetition of mistakes followed by sorrow followed by insight followed by resolve, winds up equaling wisdom" (91).
3. "Once we strip away our daily worries and pride, and our need to keep up appearances, the light of Christ simply shines through" (172).
4. "We wander through life bumping and bruising each other, amateurs, every one of us; but ultimately, we all want to love and be loved" (174).
January 15, 2011
This book made me want to hug my babies. Not because they are going to be awful when they are teenagers or anything like that, but because it made me appreciate how fleeting my time with them is and how quickly they grow.
This wasn't as good as "The Mother in Me," but still very good. Some of the essays seemed a little out of place in the collection, but I did appreciate the diversity of parenting experiences it captured. It gave me a lot to think over in how to approach parenting, and I loved the "dance with them" concept in Glenn's essay.
This wasn't as good as "The Mother in Me," but still very good. Some of the essays seemed a little out of place in the collection, but I did appreciate the diversity of parenting experiences it captured. It gave me a lot to think over in how to approach parenting, and I loved the "dance with them" concept in Glenn's essay.
September 6, 2010
I think it took so long to read this, because I didn't want to have it end. It was nice to just pick it up at anytime and read a short essay about motherhood. So many times as I was reading this, I thought, "Wow, I'm not the only one." I like when women are REAL and tell it like it is instead of sugarcoating their lives. Beautiful book...
August 29, 2010
This is a collection of essays and poems by some amazing women/mothers about raising children from middle-elementary through high school. I think my favorite is the title essay, "Dance With Them" by Sharlee Glenn...it made me think there is actually hope for this teen-phobic mom as my kids grow up!
November 23, 2010
I really enjoyed this book. It's a sequel to The Mother in Me which was full of essays and poetry from mothers of young children. This book is from the mothers of older children. I enjoyed the majority of them and I loved reading about each author at the end of the book.
Thanks for letting me borrow it, Julie P.
Thanks for letting me borrow it, Julie P.
March 8, 2013
This is a collection of personal essays, and it's really like reading through a lot of mothering blog entries. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Some of the essays, inevitably, are stronger than others. Some are funny, some are touching, a couple are really heart-wrenching. One or two are weak and forgettable. I liked it, it was a nice read.
June 22, 2010
I loved this book. It's a book of personal essays, so you will identify more with some than with others, but overall, it was amazing.
I finished it in one day, but I can't wait to go back and read certain essays and just savor them.
I finished it in one day, but I can't wait to go back and read certain essays and just savor them.
April 23, 2011
I liked this book better than The Mother in Me. If you read Segullah blog it's very similar to that. What I liked best was the title and the last story title Dance With Them. It's such a good visual to parenting. I also confirmed the fact that I really do not like poetry. Sorry.
June 4, 2010
Beautiful personal essays from Mormon women raising their school-age children. They really resonated with me--since I'm at this stage in life. I highly recommend this book!
December 7, 2011
These were beautiful personal essays about "middle" motherhood that explored a variety of topics. I flew through them and enjoyed considering different ideas and perspectives.
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews