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Overcoming Underearning(TM): A Simple Guide to a Richer Life
When it comes to money, are you controlled by fear? Do you live in financial chaos?Do you underestimate your worth? Are you ready to go to the next level, but can't seem to get there? If the answer is yes to these questions, you may be an underearner.
Underearners are self-saboteurs who never live up to their earnings potential, says Barbara Stanny, a financial educator, motivational speaker, former journalist, and career counselor. Underearners tend to live paycheck to paycheck. They rarely balance their checkbooks and are often in debt. Ironically, many work incredibly hard. Yet they are ashamed to admit that money matters to them. They all have a high tolerance for low pay.
The good news is that underearning is often self-imposed. By focusing on overcoming underearning, you will not only earn what you deserve, but you can live up to your full potential. With techniques and exercises that have helped thousands of people who have participated in her Overcoming Underearning™ workshops, Stanny teaches you five essential steps to financial independence. Once you understand these steps, you will be confident asking for a raise, increasing your prices, or getting a better job. "Now I'm making more than my friends, all because I had the guts to dream and ask for more," says one Stanny fan.
First, Tell the be honest about your financial situation and figure out your attitudes toward money. Second, Make a decide that you want to make more money. Third, take action, face your fears, and be willing to be uncomfortable. Fourth, Create Community by finding supporters and asking for help. Fifth, Respect and Appreciate learn to save and invest.
Overcoming Underearning is filled with inspiring, real-life stories of underearners who turned their lives around. Stanny brings a message of empowerment and hope to all those who chronically undervalue themselves. "I'm making more, working less, feeling healthier, have more energy, and I'm so much happier," concludes another Stanny believer.
Underearners are self-saboteurs who never live up to their earnings potential, says Barbara Stanny, a financial educator, motivational speaker, former journalist, and career counselor. Underearners tend to live paycheck to paycheck. They rarely balance their checkbooks and are often in debt. Ironically, many work incredibly hard. Yet they are ashamed to admit that money matters to them. They all have a high tolerance for low pay.
The good news is that underearning is often self-imposed. By focusing on overcoming underearning, you will not only earn what you deserve, but you can live up to your full potential. With techniques and exercises that have helped thousands of people who have participated in her Overcoming Underearning™ workshops, Stanny teaches you five essential steps to financial independence. Once you understand these steps, you will be confident asking for a raise, increasing your prices, or getting a better job. "Now I'm making more than my friends, all because I had the guts to dream and ask for more," says one Stanny fan.
First, Tell the be honest about your financial situation and figure out your attitudes toward money. Second, Make a decide that you want to make more money. Third, take action, face your fears, and be willing to be uncomfortable. Fourth, Create Community by finding supporters and asking for help. Fifth, Respect and Appreciate learn to save and invest.
Overcoming Underearning is filled with inspiring, real-life stories of underearners who turned their lives around. Stanny brings a message of empowerment and hope to all those who chronically undervalue themselves. "I'm making more, working less, feeling healthier, have more energy, and I'm so much happier," concludes another Stanny believer.
242 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 27, 2005
295 people are currently reading
2110 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 95 reviews
April 20, 2014
Hello, my name is Nikki and I was an underearner my entire life until I read “Overcoming Underearning.”
This is the first self-improvement book I’ve read that’s making noticeable changes in my life. The reason it’s effective is because it forces the committed reader to examine her beliefs and attitudes about money with exercises throughout each chapter. (I wrote all over my book, I recommend purchasing it in paperback rather than an electronic copy.)
All of my adult life I have dreamed not so much of money, but Financial Independence, yet that’s all it’s been: A Dream. Wishful thinking missing a Plan of Action, the courage to execute it, and the confidence to value myself and my creative talent.
For the past five years I’ve earned below $12k a year doing jobs that felt “comfortable” and “low key” believing I was better off sticking to work that didn’t challenge or drain my creative energy. I kept telling myself that my husband was the only one who could make “real money” with his IT experience.
I blew through my entire savings just to keep up with practical expenses. My sense of self-worth suffered. I turned a blind eye to my bank account and tuned out my husband whenever he tried to talk about our finances because it was too depressing to face.
Two years ago I decided to pursue my lifelong dream of a career in fiction writing by publishing my first young adult fantasy novel. I was so grateful for the warm response I received from readers and book bloggers that I constantly did giveaways to express my gratitude. I released new titles at a special 99 cent price to “reward” my faithful fans before upping it to the intended price a couple weeks later (after the buzz had died down, along with sales). Not surprisingly, I was operating in the red or just breaking even at the end of 2012 and 2013.
Stanny’s book made me realize I need to start treating writing as a career rather than a hobby. I need to value myself, my talent, my skill, and the work and passion I put into what I do. Books don’t write themselves!
That also means respecting my business hours. I used to allow any little distraction to interrupt my writing time. What I was doing didn’t pay the bills so I let everything else take precedence. Now I’m diligent about my work hours. I didn’t have access to the web, personal email, or social media at any of my day jobs. I couldn’t just take off and run errands. Why wouldn’t I give myself the same respect and dedication I did to an employer?
I opened up a separate business account last month. I put aside 30% of my earnings for taxes and pay myself a modest monthly salary, which I will increase as my earnings do. Whatever’s left is what’s available for cover art, copy editors, marketing, advertisement, blog tours, giveaways, swag, events, and miscellaneous business expenses. No more spending every last cent from my personal account.
What really hit me in Stanny’s book is how small steps lead to big changes.
There’s a quote in the book that says: “Don’t let who you are get in the way of what you might become.”
It’s amazing how so many of the road blocks getting in my way turned out to be myself. I’m ready to step out of the way and charge forward!
I recommend this book to anyone who has ever wanted more out of life.
What are you waiting for?
This is the first self-improvement book I’ve read that’s making noticeable changes in my life. The reason it’s effective is because it forces the committed reader to examine her beliefs and attitudes about money with exercises throughout each chapter. (I wrote all over my book, I recommend purchasing it in paperback rather than an electronic copy.)
All of my adult life I have dreamed not so much of money, but Financial Independence, yet that’s all it’s been: A Dream. Wishful thinking missing a Plan of Action, the courage to execute it, and the confidence to value myself and my creative talent.
For the past five years I’ve earned below $12k a year doing jobs that felt “comfortable” and “low key” believing I was better off sticking to work that didn’t challenge or drain my creative energy. I kept telling myself that my husband was the only one who could make “real money” with his IT experience.
I blew through my entire savings just to keep up with practical expenses. My sense of self-worth suffered. I turned a blind eye to my bank account and tuned out my husband whenever he tried to talk about our finances because it was too depressing to face.
Two years ago I decided to pursue my lifelong dream of a career in fiction writing by publishing my first young adult fantasy novel. I was so grateful for the warm response I received from readers and book bloggers that I constantly did giveaways to express my gratitude. I released new titles at a special 99 cent price to “reward” my faithful fans before upping it to the intended price a couple weeks later (after the buzz had died down, along with sales). Not surprisingly, I was operating in the red or just breaking even at the end of 2012 and 2013.
Stanny’s book made me realize I need to start treating writing as a career rather than a hobby. I need to value myself, my talent, my skill, and the work and passion I put into what I do. Books don’t write themselves!
That also means respecting my business hours. I used to allow any little distraction to interrupt my writing time. What I was doing didn’t pay the bills so I let everything else take precedence. Now I’m diligent about my work hours. I didn’t have access to the web, personal email, or social media at any of my day jobs. I couldn’t just take off and run errands. Why wouldn’t I give myself the same respect and dedication I did to an employer?
I opened up a separate business account last month. I put aside 30% of my earnings for taxes and pay myself a modest monthly salary, which I will increase as my earnings do. Whatever’s left is what’s available for cover art, copy editors, marketing, advertisement, blog tours, giveaways, swag, events, and miscellaneous business expenses. No more spending every last cent from my personal account.
What really hit me in Stanny’s book is how small steps lead to big changes.
There’s a quote in the book that says: “Don’t let who you are get in the way of what you might become.”
It’s amazing how so many of the road blocks getting in my way turned out to be myself. I’m ready to step out of the way and charge forward!
I recommend this book to anyone who has ever wanted more out of life.
What are you waiting for?
June 22, 2012
The content's not really that bad: it combines the therapeutic past-excavation and "I am a money magnet!" affirmations of a book like Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, the cheerleading of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, and the practical advice of inventorying, tracking spending, and investing wisely from Your Money or Your Life. It doesn't have much to say to those of us uncertain about what kind of work to do in the first place, but there's only so many problems someone else's book can solve for you without your involvement.
The writing is clumsy and often sloppy—about the only thing consistently clear was that the phrase "Overcoming Underearning" must always be followed by a ™ symbol. I couldn't be bothered to collect examples of the clumsiness or sloppiness, because who pays attention to writing in this kind of book?
The worst thing about it is the design: overbusy, with pull-quotes, highlights, exercises in boxes (sometimes white, sometimes shaded; sometimes within a page of text, sometimes on their own), and at least three other kinds of typographic irruption which make it hard to follow the main argument. It's a typographic nightmare. The main text is in Goudy Old Style: OK. But chapter titles and subheads are in an ugly '70s-via-'90s faux Art Nouveau geometrical sans serif, made unreadable in the chapter titles by tight tracking. The exercises are in a readable rationalist sans, but way too tiny (7 point? 6?) and bold as though to make up for it. The pull quotes are in Rockwell Bold, shaded about 70% as though to cut the impact of the bold.
The design is credited to Ellen Cipriano; I imagine it was a challenge, since Barbara Stanny clearly turned in stacks of handouts and PowerPoint printouts for her Overcoming Underearning™ workshop/seminar thing along with the text, and the editor probably threw up her hands at the mess and decided not to even try to integrate it properly. But still: these typographic "solutions" solve only the problem of getting all the crap on the page somehow; they don't do anything to contribute to the organization and comprehension of the information.
The writing is clumsy and often sloppy—about the only thing consistently clear was that the phrase "Overcoming Underearning" must always be followed by a ™ symbol. I couldn't be bothered to collect examples of the clumsiness or sloppiness, because who pays attention to writing in this kind of book?
The worst thing about it is the design: overbusy, with pull-quotes, highlights, exercises in boxes (sometimes white, sometimes shaded; sometimes within a page of text, sometimes on their own), and at least three other kinds of typographic irruption which make it hard to follow the main argument. It's a typographic nightmare. The main text is in Goudy Old Style: OK. But chapter titles and subheads are in an ugly '70s-via-'90s faux Art Nouveau geometrical sans serif, made unreadable in the chapter titles by tight tracking. The exercises are in a readable rationalist sans, but way too tiny (7 point? 6?) and bold as though to make up for it. The pull quotes are in Rockwell Bold, shaded about 70% as though to cut the impact of the bold.
The design is credited to Ellen Cipriano; I imagine it was a challenge, since Barbara Stanny clearly turned in stacks of handouts and PowerPoint printouts for her Overcoming Underearning™ workshop/seminar thing along with the text, and the editor probably threw up her hands at the mess and decided not to even try to integrate it properly. But still: these typographic "solutions" solve only the problem of getting all the crap on the page somehow; they don't do anything to contribute to the organization and comprehension of the information.
April 10, 2013
Is it fair to rate books like this? They seem all the same - affirmations, self-report inventories, and testimonials. This one is a little different because it is geared more for women than others I have read, but its fatal flaw is the bulk of the advice is aimed at the self-employed or people open to switching into careers that pay more (so, teaching is out!). Sure, there's a section on saving and spending money, but it really defers to other sources to learn more.
I walk away from this book knowing that I have an underearner's mentality, but without many tools to fix this without changing careers (which I don't want to do).
I walk away from this book knowing that I have an underearner's mentality, but without many tools to fix this without changing careers (which I don't want to do).
January 25, 2013
This is another of those books I like to read every couple of years. It helps you define your thoughts about money and your goals in the career and financial aspects of your life. I especially appreciate the way Stanny has the reader examine his/her preconceived notions regarding success, both financial and professional. I was amazed to discover how much of what I currently do with my money is shaped by opinions I formed as a kid! As with everything else, once you recognize the source of a belief, you can change it.
December 24, 2017
This book is powerful! The premise is that if you're living in deprivation (which people manage to do at a wide range of income levels), it's because you don't believe you're worthy of better. But if you can find where that comes from, dig it up, and replace it, your behavior will follow suit and you'll transform your life. The mindset of underearners is different from the mindset of people who earn a lot, and it mostly boils down to feeling like you have the ability to make a difference in your life, valuing yourself, and seeing money and wealth as positive.
Even after over a year of intense coaching and transformation, all focused on my inner game and business success, somehow I still had a bunch of old junk clogging up my head and keeping me an underearner. This book brought up some big surprises for me! Notably:
- I've been very good with money in the past, so what gives with the debt and chaos of the past three years or so? Suddenly I remembered: when my boyfriend had a cancer scare, I decided to stop worrying about money. I felt that I only had so much capacity, and if I wanted to survive this crisis, I couldn't waste it by paying attention to money. So I stopped tracking my spending, started using credit cards, and started using savings if I overspent. When his biopsy came back negative, I was still experiencing so many mental health issues, I decided that was also crisis enough to stop worrying about money. And then I forgot that I decided this and never changed my policy! That explains so much! And it means I did this, and I can also turn it around. It's not just something that happened to me that I had no control over. That is a very empowering realization. I'm not even mad at myself for doing this. I really did need every resource I could get. I made the right decision for the time, and now I'm ready to make and live by a new one.
- I believed I'm worthy to make lots of money by being smart, but not by being an artist or just being myself (and my main offering in my business right now is basically being myself). And, I didn't even realize I believed that saying "I'm worthy" (as opposed to Jesus is worthy and I'm dirt) would cause God to get really angry and smite me. Wow! What a hindrance.
- I believed that getting too rich would automatically corrupt me and make me turn away from God. See: Solomon. But when I looked him up and re-read what happened, it was actually being woman-crazy and marrying 1000 wives, most of them foreigners with foreign gods, that messed him up. Money didn't seem to be a problem. It doesn't have to be for me, either. More money and the peace and abundance that come with it can bring out the best in me, free my attention to be closer with God, do better work more easily, and ultimately do what I came here to do.
- I believed that rich people are spoiled, silly, cold, wasteful, ungrateful, impractical, stupid, heartless, shallow, out-of-touch, and selfish. If I became rich, I was afraid I would lose my compassion. But when I had lots of money, I was still the same me. I choose to be a generous, compassionate rich person.
I also found myself intensely resisting the idea of tracking what I spend. See the decision above: I felt that I needed to trade tracking for mental health, so it makes sense that I didn't want to trade back! But I can track what I spend and still be sane, too. It's really ok. I've started doing that, and it hasn't caused any problems at all. I can even track it yet not stress over it. It can just be facts. Yay!
It's time to make more money! I choose to do it with peace and sanity.
Highlights:
Yellow highlight | Page: 34
People who underestimate their worth tend to undermine their success. That’s why so many bright, talented people can’t seem to get ahead. They unconsciously do things that make achievement impossible. They procrastinate, job hop, take on too much, become scattered and distracted. The list is endless.
Blue highlight | Page: 35
When I ask people why they have come to the seminar, the typical reply is “I’m tired of working so hard and having nothing to show for it.” Underearners tend to live paycheck to paycheck, struggling to make ends meet, going from one financial crisis to another, racking up debt, working incessantly with no end in sight. This even applies to those who are making what sounds like good money. Perhaps the biggest fear underearners have about earning more is that they’ll have no life, that they’ll be working all the time. What an irony! No one works harder or longer hours than an underearner.
Blue highlight | Page: 48
“Attitudes are more important than facts,” famed psychiatrist Karl Menninger wisely noted. My six-figure women wholeheartedly agreed. “Attitude is everything,” they always told me. It works like this: when you change your thoughts, your behavior follows. Irrational thinking will always undermine any attempts at rational behavior.
Blue highlight | Page: 50
That’s the whole point of doing the Inner Work—getting in shape to handle the heavy lifting of the Outer Work. Self-awareness is the missing link for anyone who’s ever had trouble applying skills they’ve tried to learn, or doing the things they know they should to get ahead.
Blue highlight | Page: 51
“It never occurred to me I was limiting myself, defeating my own purpose. When I got that, something clicked. My work was worth more because I was worth more.
Blue highlight | Page: 53
Self-esteem, success, power, and prosperity are intricately entwined.
Blue highlight | Page: 54
Virtually every six-figure woman I interviewed swore money was not her primary motivation. But at the same time she fully expected to be well compensated because she knew she was worth it. As one of those women, Lois Carrier, told me, “Until a woman learns to value herself, she’s not going to be valued by an employer (or client).
Blue highlight | Page: 56
Every time you go to do something different, every time you deviate from the norm, every time you break a habit or end a pattern, your brain cries, “Stop, this doesn’t feel right! Don’t do it.” DO NOT LISTEN. The number one requirement for financial success (or success in anything for that matter) is simply this: You’ve got to be willing to be uncomfortable. Or as Eastern wisdom advocates, “Embrace what does not come naturally. Only then will you stop limiting yourself.
Blue highlight | Page: 57
The challenge of change almost always elicits the same response. “This is soooo hard.” I hear it all the time in the workshops as we discuss the steps and what we need to do. I call it the Underearner Whine. My response never varies. “This is not hard. It’s easy. But it is uncomfortable.
Blue highlight | Page: 79
‘Am I willing to be even more uncomfortable than I am now for a while?’ And I underlined ‘for a while.
Yellow highlight | Page: 85
No one is doing this to me. I am doing it to myself. Therefore, I have the ability to change it.
Yellow highlight | Page: 89
“It’s time to make more money.”
Yellow highlight | Page: 94
The Grand Conundrum You get what you really want, not what you ask for.
Yellow highlight | Page: 95
Cheri Schell, who had a big surge in income, spoke for many: “I thought the decision was to make more money. No, that wasn’t it. My decision first had to be ‘I’m important. I matter. I put myself first.’”
Yellow highlight | Page: 104
Decoding Resistance All resistance comes from fear. At the core of all fear is a belief. At the root of each belief is a decision you made. These decisions are made early, often unconsciously, and have little to do with reality. To ride out the resistance, redo your decision.
Yellow highlight | Page: 112
Every day, actually seek opportunities to: do what you think you can’t do (be it as simple as adding a lap to your swimming routine or as difficult as competing in a triathlon); speak up and ask for what you want (whether it’s the last cookie on the plate or your coworker to turn down the radio); let go of what’s holding you back (anything from an unhealthy relationship to a directive from Blanche).
Yellow highlight | Page: 116
Bottom line, overcoming underearning isn’t measured solely by the amount of money you make, but the degree to which your life is no longer run by fear.
Yellow highlight | Page: 202
The Money Minder Express is by far the best tool I’ve seen for tracking expenses and creating a spending plan.
Even after over a year of intense coaching and transformation, all focused on my inner game and business success, somehow I still had a bunch of old junk clogging up my head and keeping me an underearner. This book brought up some big surprises for me! Notably:
- I've been very good with money in the past, so what gives with the debt and chaos of the past three years or so? Suddenly I remembered: when my boyfriend had a cancer scare, I decided to stop worrying about money. I felt that I only had so much capacity, and if I wanted to survive this crisis, I couldn't waste it by paying attention to money. So I stopped tracking my spending, started using credit cards, and started using savings if I overspent. When his biopsy came back negative, I was still experiencing so many mental health issues, I decided that was also crisis enough to stop worrying about money. And then I forgot that I decided this and never changed my policy! That explains so much! And it means I did this, and I can also turn it around. It's not just something that happened to me that I had no control over. That is a very empowering realization. I'm not even mad at myself for doing this. I really did need every resource I could get. I made the right decision for the time, and now I'm ready to make and live by a new one.
- I believed I'm worthy to make lots of money by being smart, but not by being an artist or just being myself (and my main offering in my business right now is basically being myself). And, I didn't even realize I believed that saying "I'm worthy" (as opposed to Jesus is worthy and I'm dirt) would cause God to get really angry and smite me. Wow! What a hindrance.
- I believed that getting too rich would automatically corrupt me and make me turn away from God. See: Solomon. But when I looked him up and re-read what happened, it was actually being woman-crazy and marrying 1000 wives, most of them foreigners with foreign gods, that messed him up. Money didn't seem to be a problem. It doesn't have to be for me, either. More money and the peace and abundance that come with it can bring out the best in me, free my attention to be closer with God, do better work more easily, and ultimately do what I came here to do.
- I believed that rich people are spoiled, silly, cold, wasteful, ungrateful, impractical, stupid, heartless, shallow, out-of-touch, and selfish. If I became rich, I was afraid I would lose my compassion. But when I had lots of money, I was still the same me. I choose to be a generous, compassionate rich person.
I also found myself intensely resisting the idea of tracking what I spend. See the decision above: I felt that I needed to trade tracking for mental health, so it makes sense that I didn't want to trade back! But I can track what I spend and still be sane, too. It's really ok. I've started doing that, and it hasn't caused any problems at all. I can even track it yet not stress over it. It can just be facts. Yay!
It's time to make more money! I choose to do it with peace and sanity.
Highlights:
Yellow highlight | Page: 34
People who underestimate their worth tend to undermine their success. That’s why so many bright, talented people can’t seem to get ahead. They unconsciously do things that make achievement impossible. They procrastinate, job hop, take on too much, become scattered and distracted. The list is endless.
Blue highlight | Page: 35
When I ask people why they have come to the seminar, the typical reply is “I’m tired of working so hard and having nothing to show for it.” Underearners tend to live paycheck to paycheck, struggling to make ends meet, going from one financial crisis to another, racking up debt, working incessantly with no end in sight. This even applies to those who are making what sounds like good money. Perhaps the biggest fear underearners have about earning more is that they’ll have no life, that they’ll be working all the time. What an irony! No one works harder or longer hours than an underearner.
Blue highlight | Page: 48
“Attitudes are more important than facts,” famed psychiatrist Karl Menninger wisely noted. My six-figure women wholeheartedly agreed. “Attitude is everything,” they always told me. It works like this: when you change your thoughts, your behavior follows. Irrational thinking will always undermine any attempts at rational behavior.
Blue highlight | Page: 50
That’s the whole point of doing the Inner Work—getting in shape to handle the heavy lifting of the Outer Work. Self-awareness is the missing link for anyone who’s ever had trouble applying skills they’ve tried to learn, or doing the things they know they should to get ahead.
Blue highlight | Page: 51
“It never occurred to me I was limiting myself, defeating my own purpose. When I got that, something clicked. My work was worth more because I was worth more.
Blue highlight | Page: 53
Self-esteem, success, power, and prosperity are intricately entwined.
Blue highlight | Page: 54
Virtually every six-figure woman I interviewed swore money was not her primary motivation. But at the same time she fully expected to be well compensated because she knew she was worth it. As one of those women, Lois Carrier, told me, “Until a woman learns to value herself, she’s not going to be valued by an employer (or client).
Blue highlight | Page: 56
Every time you go to do something different, every time you deviate from the norm, every time you break a habit or end a pattern, your brain cries, “Stop, this doesn’t feel right! Don’t do it.” DO NOT LISTEN. The number one requirement for financial success (or success in anything for that matter) is simply this: You’ve got to be willing to be uncomfortable. Or as Eastern wisdom advocates, “Embrace what does not come naturally. Only then will you stop limiting yourself.
Blue highlight | Page: 57
The challenge of change almost always elicits the same response. “This is soooo hard.” I hear it all the time in the workshops as we discuss the steps and what we need to do. I call it the Underearner Whine. My response never varies. “This is not hard. It’s easy. But it is uncomfortable.
Blue highlight | Page: 79
‘Am I willing to be even more uncomfortable than I am now for a while?’ And I underlined ‘for a while.
Yellow highlight | Page: 85
No one is doing this to me. I am doing it to myself. Therefore, I have the ability to change it.
Yellow highlight | Page: 89
“It’s time to make more money.”
Yellow highlight | Page: 94
The Grand Conundrum You get what you really want, not what you ask for.
Yellow highlight | Page: 95
Cheri Schell, who had a big surge in income, spoke for many: “I thought the decision was to make more money. No, that wasn’t it. My decision first had to be ‘I’m important. I matter. I put myself first.’”
Yellow highlight | Page: 104
Decoding Resistance All resistance comes from fear. At the core of all fear is a belief. At the root of each belief is a decision you made. These decisions are made early, often unconsciously, and have little to do with reality. To ride out the resistance, redo your decision.
Yellow highlight | Page: 112
Every day, actually seek opportunities to: do what you think you can’t do (be it as simple as adding a lap to your swimming routine or as difficult as competing in a triathlon); speak up and ask for what you want (whether it’s the last cookie on the plate or your coworker to turn down the radio); let go of what’s holding you back (anything from an unhealthy relationship to a directive from Blanche).
Yellow highlight | Page: 116
Bottom line, overcoming underearning isn’t measured solely by the amount of money you make, but the degree to which your life is no longer run by fear.
Yellow highlight | Page: 202
The Money Minder Express is by far the best tool I’ve seen for tracking expenses and creating a spending plan.
April 23, 2015
Excellent. Life changing.
Very well-written. My advice: do the writing exercises to achieve maximum results. This book taught me to say "no". I also learned that my under-charging and giving my time away was the root of my financial troubles... I wasn't making enough to live my life. This book also helped me get to the root of why I've been under-charging. It took time to finish. I did every exercise. Brilliant.
Very well-written. My advice: do the writing exercises to achieve maximum results. This book taught me to say "no". I also learned that my under-charging and giving my time away was the root of my financial troubles... I wasn't making enough to live my life. This book also helped me get to the root of why I've been under-charging. It took time to finish. I did every exercise. Brilliant.
July 2, 2014
I'm a financial planner and have to say, that this is one of the simplest, to the point financial books that will move you forward. Be ready to do many exercises and not just read, but you will definitely uncover beliefs you never knew you had.
I highly recommend.
I highly recommend.
April 17, 2010
Excellent book - lit a fire under me, shifted the way I think about money, my own worth, what I can create for myself, taking responsibility, great web-site and classes offered locally here in Seattle, too.
May 27, 2024
The right place at the right time. I liked that the book contains practical exercises but most of all appreciated the clarity I was missing to see the bigger picture
September 13, 2019
A new mantra I'll try to remember: spend less, earn more, invest wisely, give generously, in that other. And changing your mindset is the most important. Knowing and respecting your own worth
July 9, 2021
A solid plan for accomplishing a goal like overcoming underearning. The willingness to be uncomfortable is so important to grasp. We want to be comfortable as humans who have evolved to survive, so discomfort is a threat. But there is no growth without discomfort! I added this book to my to-read list when the True Love Society read it for book club during Manifestation Mondays. Info I need, as well as info I can share with my coaching clients. I did maybe 85% of the exercises, but not all of them. Probably the ones that I didn't do seemed to produce too much discomfort in me, so I skipped them. More likely, they didn't seem relevant to my situation (plus the discomfort). But I can see how they are all helpful and powerful.
“Financial Independence - You have the resources to live a satisfying, comfortable life, accomplish your dreams and goals, and have more fun doing what you do.” pg. 14
“Most of us fail to realize that self-denial, while seemingly virtuous, can lead to anger, resentment, pain, and sometimes illness. Not exactly conducive for monetary, or any other, success.” pg. 17
“What does it mean to be an underearner? To start with, it has little to do with the amount of money you make. It has everything to do with your attitude.
What Underearning Is . . . and Isn’t
DEFINITION OF UNDEREARNER: One who earns less than her potential despite her need or desire to do otherwise.
UNDEREARNING is not the same as VOLUNTARY SIMPLICITY, which is a conscious choice to live on less in order to create a simpler, saner life.
An UNDEREARNER is not the same as A MINDFUL LOW EARNER, someone who enjoys her work because it feeds her soul and also provides adequate income.
Underearning is a condition of DEPRIVATION in which your emotional and/or physical needs are not being met.
Underearning is rarely a conscious choice. It never leads to a saner or more satisfying life. It always involves self-denial—not only of money, but time, freedom, impact, and joy; denial of your value, your power, your needs, and your options.” pg. 29-30
“Because they devalue themselves, underearners instinctively settle for less or seek their value by volunteering, in the job or outside of it. There’s nothing wrong with pro bono work—in fact, it’s a wonderful gift to those in need—as long as it’s on top of an already satisfying, well-paying job.” pg. 33
“Change, even a dream come true, is rarely comfortable. Underearners will often unwittingly sabotage their success rather than endure the discomfort.
It’s astonishing how fiercely we cling to our so-called comfort zones. What a misnomer. These places are anything but comfortable. They’re just familiar and predictable.” pg. 33
“Ten Traits of Underearners
1. Talk as if they’re trapped.
2. Give their power away.
3. Underestimate their worth.
4. Crave comfort.
5. Are self-saboteurs.
6. Are codependent.
7. Live in financial chaos.
8. Are vague about money and success.
9. Are antiwealth.
10. Are controlled by fear.” pg. 40
“Einstein explained it this way: ‘Our problems can’t be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.’ It takes another level of thinking to break through our earning barriers, to solve our financial problems, too. Or as one woman in my seminar put it, ‘It’s not just going through the steps. It’s having a paradigm shift in your head.’
Shifting a paradigm requires a two-pronged approach, a combination of the Inner Work and the Outer Work.
The Outer Work - The mechanics of marketing yourself, negotiating higher pay, and managing your money.
The Inner Work - Transforming your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, attitudes, and decisions about yourself and money.
There’s no bypassing the latter. Regardless of how sophisticated or savvy you are, unless you address your internal blocks, you’ll inadvertently sabotage your success.” pg. 47-48
“That’s the whole point of doing the Inner Work—getting in shape to handle the heavy lifting of the Outer Work. Self-awareness is the missing link for anyone who’s ever had trouble applying skills they’ve tried to learn, or doing the things they know they should to get ahead.” pg. 50
“Then she added, cutting right to the core of all underearning, ‘It never occurred to me I was limiting myself, defeating my own purpose. When I got that, something clicked. My work was worth more because I was worth more.’
Tami’s comments give us a glimpse into how high earners think, with statements like, ‘my vision grew bigger,’ ‘I’ll do it now,’ and most of all, ‘I deserve it.’ But even more, she hands us the key to breaking our earnings barrier. It’s what I call the Click.
The Click - That ‘aha’ moment when you recognize, with every fiber of your being, that you deserve to earn more for no other reason than you’re worth it.
When you finally awaken to your value, you’re primed for the next level. But until that click occurs, you might as well be going against gravity.” pg. 51
“Virtually everyone was motivated to change. Almost all reported at least one new insight. Yet for some, nothing happened. They came in underearners, and they stayed underearners. Why?
Because the problem we’re dealing with isn’t really about money at all. Money is simply a metaphor. In fact, the problem isn’t even about overcoming underearning. Underearning is merely a symptom. Lasting change never occurs by treating the symptom. My belief is that you’ve kept yourself and underearner for a reason.” pg. 52
“Bottom line: Underearning is a condition of low self-esteem. Inside every underearner lies some degree of hopelessness or helplessness brought on by a perceived lack of self-worth or absence of self-love.” pg. 53
“Self-esteem, success, power, and prosperity are intricately entwined. When you begin valuing yourself, your finances inevitably improve, along with most everything else. Conversely, low self-esteem makes it difficult, if not impossible, to reach the next level. Why? Because you don’t believe you can. And there’s no better way to reinforce that belief, limit your power, diminish your value, than by lowering your earning potential. It all works together.” pg. 53
“Breaking through your barriers requires that Click, the recognition that you really are a capable person with something valuable to offer, and you understand beyond doubt—no matter how vehemently those little voices may argue—that you deserve to be happy, successful, and well paid because you’re worth it.” pg. 54-55
“Every time you go to do something different, every time you deviate from the norm, every time you break a habit or end a pattern, your brain cries, ‘Stop, this doesn’t feel right! Don’t do it.’
DO NOT LISTEN.
The number one requirement for financial success (or success in anything for that matter) is simply this: You’ve got to be willing to be uncomfortable. Or as Eastern wisdom advocates, ‘Embrace what does not come naturally. Only then will you stop limiting yourself.’
Discomfort is an automatic response to anything out of the ordinary. The ability to tolerate discomfort is absolutely essential to go to the next level in any area of your life. Anxiety, fear, worry, nervousness, resistance . . . all these are normal reactions to new situations. It need not mean something’s wrong. It just means that something is different. Or as my wonderful therapist, Rosalie Thomas, would say to me, ‘Recognize you’re tapping into the challenge of change.’” pg. 56-57
“Eight Rules for Achieving Remarkable Results
1. Make a vote to yourself: underearning is no longer an option.
2. Keep your commitments.
3. Use disruptions (like moving or getting married) to practice the five steps.
4. Enroll your spouse or significant other in this process.
5. Put yourself first.
6. Keep passages from this book, or snippets of inspiration, where you can easily see them.
7. Rigorously observe your actions and thoughts.
8. Do what you dread.” pg. 66
“The number one requirement to overcome underearning and raise self-esteem is the willingness to be uncomfortable.” pg. 66
“The whole point of telling the truth is to start making new choices based on actual fact (not your stories about what happened), accurate data (not what you guess is going on), and your core values (not what you should want).” pg. 75
“‘The only thing I have to release in order to get what I want is my story about why I can’t have it.’ - Source unknown” pg. 75
“Problems have a purpose. They’re trying to get our attention. They let us know we need to do something differently. It’s always best to deal with them early before they become any bigger. Troubles usually begin as a whisper, but grow progressively louder the longer we neglect them.” pg. 75-76
“‘When one is pretending the entire body revolts.’ - Anais Nin” pg. 84
“Odette discovered what Oliver Wendell Holmes told us long ago, ‘All limitations are self-imposed.’ To believe otherwise is the Big Lie, an extraordinary self-deception where we convince ourselves we are powerless.” pg. 85
“The Defining Truth - No one is doing this to me. I am doing it to myself. Therefore, I have the ability to change it.
The moment we declare for ourselves the Defining Truth, life as we know it will never be the same. You move from being a victim to owning your power. Your Authentic Voice will begin to emerge louder, more clearly than ever before. . . .Discovering your Big Lie is generally followed by a period of doubt and uncertainty, when you’re not quite sure what to believe.” pg. 85
“‘Lift the masks, remove the armor, and let yourself become all that you imagined.’ - Flavia” pg. 88
“A decision is not the same as a wish, a dream, or even the goal you set for ourself in an earlier chapter. Certainly, those are the precursors. But where a goal denotes the desired destination, a decision implies the determination to reach it. A decision is a promise you make to yourself, a declaration of intention, that says you’re willing to walk through fire to make it happen.” pg. 89
“The Grand Conundrum - You get what you really want, not what you ask for. . . . This Grand Conundrum is a normal human condition. According to psychologist Abraham Maslow, we all have two forces inside us. One clings to safety. The other pushes us forward. As long as the former remains subliminally stronger, you’re likely to find yourself hopelessly stuck.
How do you know what you truly want? Look at what is happening in your life now. If this is not what you say you want, then chances are good your goals are in conflict. . . . Somewhere along the way, you made a subconscious decision that opposes your declared intention.
The solution? Realize you made the wrong decision. Then make a different decision, consciously. You might start by deciding to make money, but you may find there’s a more fundamental decision that has to come first.
Cheri Schell, who had a big surge in income, spoke for many: ‘I thought the decision was to make more money. No, that wasn’t it. My decision first had to be “I’m important. I matter. I put myself first.”’” pg. 95
“‘A decision is a conclusion based on everything you believe about yourself.’ - A Course in Miracles” pg. 95
“Once you make a conscious and solid decision, three things will happen: coincidences, changes in other areas of your life, and resistance. Guaranteed.” pg. 99
“3. Resistance.
There’s a law of physics that says for every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction. Every time you commit to a goal, something inside you refuses to comply. Resistance emerges as soon as you enter the Discomfort Zone, the space between where you are now and where you want to be. Trying to navigate this space may feel like you’re paddling a canoe in a tempest. The natural reaction will be to return to dry land. Resistance kicks in so we can stay comfy. Resistance is always strongest at the very beginning and right before you reach your goal. Those are the times you’re most vulnerable to backsliding.” pg. 102
“Twelve Signs You’re in Resistance
There are probably more, but these are the most common.
1. YOU’RE TOO BUSY. (‘I have no time.’)
2. YOU PROCRASTINATE. (‘I’ll do it later.’)
3. YOU’RE SCARED INTO INACTION. (‘Omygawd, what if . . .?’)
4. YOU DEFER DECISIONS. (‘You do it; you decide.’)
5. YOU LOSE INTEREST. (‘This is boring, it’s not my thing.’)
6. YOU’RE FORGETFUL. (‘Oh, I meant to, but I forgot.’)
7. YOU’RE DISORGANIZED. (‘Where did I put that . . . ?’)
8. YOU FOG UP, SPACE OUT. (‘What are you talking about?’)
9. YOU FEEL PARALYZED. (‘I just can’t think or get going.’)
10. YOU FIND REASONS NOT TO ACT. (‘I can’t because . . .’)
11. YOU’RE IMPATIENT. (‘This is taking way too long.’)
12. YOU KEEP RUNNING INTO NAYSAYERS. (Other people say, ‘You can’t do that,’ ‘That’s not possible.’ This form of resistance is especially sneaky. You project your own fear out onto others.)” pg. 102-103
“Decoding Resistance
- All resistance comes from fear.
- At the core of all fear is a belief.
- At the root of each belief is a decision you made.
- These decisions are made early, often unconsciously, and have little to do with reality.
- To ride out resistance, redo your decision.” pg. 104
“Whenever you decide to do something different—whether it’s making money or losing weight—the desired result always lies just beyond reach, in the Discomfort Zone. The only way you’ll get there is by taking the third step—stretching beyond what feels comfortable to what may seem impossible, doing what you think you can’t do.
While the first two steps in this plan are meant to wake you up, this step demands you get out of bed, whether you feel like it or not. The stretch carries with it this strict stipulation: feel the fear, endure the discomfort, observe the resistance, and go for it anyway.
‘We are taught that fear is something to avoid at all cost,’ Sally Beckett told me. ‘Since the workshop, I’ve started listening to my gut. If it says, “You’re afraid of this,” I say, “That’s a good thing. I’m going toward it. It’ll force me to change and grow.”’” pg. 109
“There’s no escaping the Discomfort Zone. It’s unsettling, filled with tension, and believe me, you’ll be tested. You’ll find yourself wavering, all set to forge ahead but oh so tempted to stay where it’s safe. Emotional vacillation is a common reaction when you’re teetering on the brink, or in the full throes of a stretch.” pg. 110
“Bottom line, overcoming underearning isn’t measured solely by the amount of money you make, but the degree to which your life is no longer run by fear.” pg. 116
“Anytime you ask for what you want, say no to what you don’t, and step into the unknown with your head high and shoulder straight, you claim your power, you embrace your bitch. That’s when you become a ‘Babe in Total Control of Herself.’” pg. 117
“I believe one of the major reasons people get stuck is because they’re clinging to the very thing that’s holding them in place. Nothing propels us into our Discomfort Zone quicker than letting go. And it’s usually that which we’re most afraid to let go of that is the very thing we need to release.” pg. 119
“‘We must be willing to relinquish the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.’ - Joseph Campbell” pg. 119
“. . . you may not need to actually give anything up, but the willingness to do so frees you to take the necessary steps to reach the next level. It boils down to this: Do I let go of what’s not serving me or do I abandon myself?” pg. 119
“Principle #6—Respect yourself by taking time for you.
We’ll never attract people who respect us until we learn to respect ourselves—by taking the time to take care of ourselves. . . .
But even more, taking time out is one of the best ways to get in touch with perhaps your most valuable source of support—your Authentic Voice. When you tap into that inner wisdom, you’ve tapped into a power that’s yours forever. And when you claim your power that’s when the money will follow.” pg. 139
“The Four Rules of Money
1. SPEND LESS (only buy what you can easily afford)
2. SAVE MORE (pay yourself first)
3. INVEST WISELY (put money in assets that grow in value over time)
4. GIVE GENEROUSLY (use your money to make a difference)” pg. 146
“. . . Recommended Game Plan for Overcoming Underearning. Think big. Act small. And never, ever stop until you attain your goal, no matter what.” pg. 169
“Overcoming underearning doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a gradual process of faithfully following the Five-Step Plan until it becomes a way of life.
1. Tell the truth about what’s not working, and what is.
2. Make a firm decision about what you truly want.
3. Look for opportunities to stretch by doing what you think you can’t do.
4. Surround yourself with a supportive community.
5. Respect and appreciate money by taking good care of it.
These steps are not something you can read about and forget. You really must make them part of your daily routine, because if you do something every day, no matter how small, no matter how brief, you will eventually arrive at your destination.” pg. 170
“The Overcoming Underearning Promise - Small steps consistently taken lead to remarkable results.” pg. 171
Book: borrowed from SSF Main Library.
“Financial Independence - You have the resources to live a satisfying, comfortable life, accomplish your dreams and goals, and have more fun doing what you do.” pg. 14
“Most of us fail to realize that self-denial, while seemingly virtuous, can lead to anger, resentment, pain, and sometimes illness. Not exactly conducive for monetary, or any other, success.” pg. 17
“What does it mean to be an underearner? To start with, it has little to do with the amount of money you make. It has everything to do with your attitude.
What Underearning Is . . . and Isn’t
DEFINITION OF UNDEREARNER: One who earns less than her potential despite her need or desire to do otherwise.
UNDEREARNING is not the same as VOLUNTARY SIMPLICITY, which is a conscious choice to live on less in order to create a simpler, saner life.
An UNDEREARNER is not the same as A MINDFUL LOW EARNER, someone who enjoys her work because it feeds her soul and also provides adequate income.
Underearning is a condition of DEPRIVATION in which your emotional and/or physical needs are not being met.
Underearning is rarely a conscious choice. It never leads to a saner or more satisfying life. It always involves self-denial—not only of money, but time, freedom, impact, and joy; denial of your value, your power, your needs, and your options.” pg. 29-30
“Because they devalue themselves, underearners instinctively settle for less or seek their value by volunteering, in the job or outside of it. There’s nothing wrong with pro bono work—in fact, it’s a wonderful gift to those in need—as long as it’s on top of an already satisfying, well-paying job.” pg. 33
“Change, even a dream come true, is rarely comfortable. Underearners will often unwittingly sabotage their success rather than endure the discomfort.
It’s astonishing how fiercely we cling to our so-called comfort zones. What a misnomer. These places are anything but comfortable. They’re just familiar and predictable.” pg. 33
“Ten Traits of Underearners
1. Talk as if they’re trapped.
2. Give their power away.
3. Underestimate their worth.
4. Crave comfort.
5. Are self-saboteurs.
6. Are codependent.
7. Live in financial chaos.
8. Are vague about money and success.
9. Are antiwealth.
10. Are controlled by fear.” pg. 40
“Einstein explained it this way: ‘Our problems can’t be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.’ It takes another level of thinking to break through our earning barriers, to solve our financial problems, too. Or as one woman in my seminar put it, ‘It’s not just going through the steps. It’s having a paradigm shift in your head.’
Shifting a paradigm requires a two-pronged approach, a combination of the Inner Work and the Outer Work.
The Outer Work - The mechanics of marketing yourself, negotiating higher pay, and managing your money.
The Inner Work - Transforming your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, attitudes, and decisions about yourself and money.
There’s no bypassing the latter. Regardless of how sophisticated or savvy you are, unless you address your internal blocks, you’ll inadvertently sabotage your success.” pg. 47-48
“That’s the whole point of doing the Inner Work—getting in shape to handle the heavy lifting of the Outer Work. Self-awareness is the missing link for anyone who’s ever had trouble applying skills they’ve tried to learn, or doing the things they know they should to get ahead.” pg. 50
“Then she added, cutting right to the core of all underearning, ‘It never occurred to me I was limiting myself, defeating my own purpose. When I got that, something clicked. My work was worth more because I was worth more.’
Tami’s comments give us a glimpse into how high earners think, with statements like, ‘my vision grew bigger,’ ‘I’ll do it now,’ and most of all, ‘I deserve it.’ But even more, she hands us the key to breaking our earnings barrier. It’s what I call the Click.
The Click - That ‘aha’ moment when you recognize, with every fiber of your being, that you deserve to earn more for no other reason than you’re worth it.
When you finally awaken to your value, you’re primed for the next level. But until that click occurs, you might as well be going against gravity.” pg. 51
“Virtually everyone was motivated to change. Almost all reported at least one new insight. Yet for some, nothing happened. They came in underearners, and they stayed underearners. Why?
Because the problem we’re dealing with isn’t really about money at all. Money is simply a metaphor. In fact, the problem isn’t even about overcoming underearning. Underearning is merely a symptom. Lasting change never occurs by treating the symptom. My belief is that you’ve kept yourself and underearner for a reason.” pg. 52
“Bottom line: Underearning is a condition of low self-esteem. Inside every underearner lies some degree of hopelessness or helplessness brought on by a perceived lack of self-worth or absence of self-love.” pg. 53
“Self-esteem, success, power, and prosperity are intricately entwined. When you begin valuing yourself, your finances inevitably improve, along with most everything else. Conversely, low self-esteem makes it difficult, if not impossible, to reach the next level. Why? Because you don’t believe you can. And there’s no better way to reinforce that belief, limit your power, diminish your value, than by lowering your earning potential. It all works together.” pg. 53
“Breaking through your barriers requires that Click, the recognition that you really are a capable person with something valuable to offer, and you understand beyond doubt—no matter how vehemently those little voices may argue—that you deserve to be happy, successful, and well paid because you’re worth it.” pg. 54-55
“Every time you go to do something different, every time you deviate from the norm, every time you break a habit or end a pattern, your brain cries, ‘Stop, this doesn’t feel right! Don’t do it.’
DO NOT LISTEN.
The number one requirement for financial success (or success in anything for that matter) is simply this: You’ve got to be willing to be uncomfortable. Or as Eastern wisdom advocates, ‘Embrace what does not come naturally. Only then will you stop limiting yourself.’
Discomfort is an automatic response to anything out of the ordinary. The ability to tolerate discomfort is absolutely essential to go to the next level in any area of your life. Anxiety, fear, worry, nervousness, resistance . . . all these are normal reactions to new situations. It need not mean something’s wrong. It just means that something is different. Or as my wonderful therapist, Rosalie Thomas, would say to me, ‘Recognize you’re tapping into the challenge of change.’” pg. 56-57
“Eight Rules for Achieving Remarkable Results
1. Make a vote to yourself: underearning is no longer an option.
2. Keep your commitments.
3. Use disruptions (like moving or getting married) to practice the five steps.
4. Enroll your spouse or significant other in this process.
5. Put yourself first.
6. Keep passages from this book, or snippets of inspiration, where you can easily see them.
7. Rigorously observe your actions and thoughts.
8. Do what you dread.” pg. 66
“The number one requirement to overcome underearning and raise self-esteem is the willingness to be uncomfortable.” pg. 66
“The whole point of telling the truth is to start making new choices based on actual fact (not your stories about what happened), accurate data (not what you guess is going on), and your core values (not what you should want).” pg. 75
“‘The only thing I have to release in order to get what I want is my story about why I can’t have it.’ - Source unknown” pg. 75
“Problems have a purpose. They’re trying to get our attention. They let us know we need to do something differently. It’s always best to deal with them early before they become any bigger. Troubles usually begin as a whisper, but grow progressively louder the longer we neglect them.” pg. 75-76
“‘When one is pretending the entire body revolts.’ - Anais Nin” pg. 84
“Odette discovered what Oliver Wendell Holmes told us long ago, ‘All limitations are self-imposed.’ To believe otherwise is the Big Lie, an extraordinary self-deception where we convince ourselves we are powerless.” pg. 85
“The Defining Truth - No one is doing this to me. I am doing it to myself. Therefore, I have the ability to change it.
The moment we declare for ourselves the Defining Truth, life as we know it will never be the same. You move from being a victim to owning your power. Your Authentic Voice will begin to emerge louder, more clearly than ever before. . . .Discovering your Big Lie is generally followed by a period of doubt and uncertainty, when you’re not quite sure what to believe.” pg. 85
“‘Lift the masks, remove the armor, and let yourself become all that you imagined.’ - Flavia” pg. 88
“A decision is not the same as a wish, a dream, or even the goal you set for ourself in an earlier chapter. Certainly, those are the precursors. But where a goal denotes the desired destination, a decision implies the determination to reach it. A decision is a promise you make to yourself, a declaration of intention, that says you’re willing to walk through fire to make it happen.” pg. 89
“The Grand Conundrum - You get what you really want, not what you ask for. . . . This Grand Conundrum is a normal human condition. According to psychologist Abraham Maslow, we all have two forces inside us. One clings to safety. The other pushes us forward. As long as the former remains subliminally stronger, you’re likely to find yourself hopelessly stuck.
How do you know what you truly want? Look at what is happening in your life now. If this is not what you say you want, then chances are good your goals are in conflict. . . . Somewhere along the way, you made a subconscious decision that opposes your declared intention.
The solution? Realize you made the wrong decision. Then make a different decision, consciously. You might start by deciding to make money, but you may find there’s a more fundamental decision that has to come first.
Cheri Schell, who had a big surge in income, spoke for many: ‘I thought the decision was to make more money. No, that wasn’t it. My decision first had to be “I’m important. I matter. I put myself first.”’” pg. 95
“‘A decision is a conclusion based on everything you believe about yourself.’ - A Course in Miracles” pg. 95
“Once you make a conscious and solid decision, three things will happen: coincidences, changes in other areas of your life, and resistance. Guaranteed.” pg. 99
“3. Resistance.
There’s a law of physics that says for every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction. Every time you commit to a goal, something inside you refuses to comply. Resistance emerges as soon as you enter the Discomfort Zone, the space between where you are now and where you want to be. Trying to navigate this space may feel like you’re paddling a canoe in a tempest. The natural reaction will be to return to dry land. Resistance kicks in so we can stay comfy. Resistance is always strongest at the very beginning and right before you reach your goal. Those are the times you’re most vulnerable to backsliding.” pg. 102
“Twelve Signs You’re in Resistance
There are probably more, but these are the most common.
1. YOU’RE TOO BUSY. (‘I have no time.’)
2. YOU PROCRASTINATE. (‘I’ll do it later.’)
3. YOU’RE SCARED INTO INACTION. (‘Omygawd, what if . . .?’)
4. YOU DEFER DECISIONS. (‘You do it; you decide.’)
5. YOU LOSE INTEREST. (‘This is boring, it’s not my thing.’)
6. YOU’RE FORGETFUL. (‘Oh, I meant to, but I forgot.’)
7. YOU’RE DISORGANIZED. (‘Where did I put that . . . ?’)
8. YOU FOG UP, SPACE OUT. (‘What are you talking about?’)
9. YOU FEEL PARALYZED. (‘I just can’t think or get going.’)
10. YOU FIND REASONS NOT TO ACT. (‘I can’t because . . .’)
11. YOU’RE IMPATIENT. (‘This is taking way too long.’)
12. YOU KEEP RUNNING INTO NAYSAYERS. (Other people say, ‘You can’t do that,’ ‘That’s not possible.’ This form of resistance is especially sneaky. You project your own fear out onto others.)” pg. 102-103
“Decoding Resistance
- All resistance comes from fear.
- At the core of all fear is a belief.
- At the root of each belief is a decision you made.
- These decisions are made early, often unconsciously, and have little to do with reality.
- To ride out resistance, redo your decision.” pg. 104
“Whenever you decide to do something different—whether it’s making money or losing weight—the desired result always lies just beyond reach, in the Discomfort Zone. The only way you’ll get there is by taking the third step—stretching beyond what feels comfortable to what may seem impossible, doing what you think you can’t do.
While the first two steps in this plan are meant to wake you up, this step demands you get out of bed, whether you feel like it or not. The stretch carries with it this strict stipulation: feel the fear, endure the discomfort, observe the resistance, and go for it anyway.
‘We are taught that fear is something to avoid at all cost,’ Sally Beckett told me. ‘Since the workshop, I’ve started listening to my gut. If it says, “You’re afraid of this,” I say, “That’s a good thing. I’m going toward it. It’ll force me to change and grow.”’” pg. 109
“There’s no escaping the Discomfort Zone. It’s unsettling, filled with tension, and believe me, you’ll be tested. You’ll find yourself wavering, all set to forge ahead but oh so tempted to stay where it’s safe. Emotional vacillation is a common reaction when you’re teetering on the brink, or in the full throes of a stretch.” pg. 110
“Bottom line, overcoming underearning isn’t measured solely by the amount of money you make, but the degree to which your life is no longer run by fear.” pg. 116
“Anytime you ask for what you want, say no to what you don’t, and step into the unknown with your head high and shoulder straight, you claim your power, you embrace your bitch. That’s when you become a ‘Babe in Total Control of Herself.’” pg. 117
“I believe one of the major reasons people get stuck is because they’re clinging to the very thing that’s holding them in place. Nothing propels us into our Discomfort Zone quicker than letting go. And it’s usually that which we’re most afraid to let go of that is the very thing we need to release.” pg. 119
“‘We must be willing to relinquish the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.’ - Joseph Campbell” pg. 119
“. . . you may not need to actually give anything up, but the willingness to do so frees you to take the necessary steps to reach the next level. It boils down to this: Do I let go of what’s not serving me or do I abandon myself?” pg. 119
“Principle #6—Respect yourself by taking time for you.
We’ll never attract people who respect us until we learn to respect ourselves—by taking the time to take care of ourselves. . . .
But even more, taking time out is one of the best ways to get in touch with perhaps your most valuable source of support—your Authentic Voice. When you tap into that inner wisdom, you’ve tapped into a power that’s yours forever. And when you claim your power that’s when the money will follow.” pg. 139
“The Four Rules of Money
1. SPEND LESS (only buy what you can easily afford)
2. SAVE MORE (pay yourself first)
3. INVEST WISELY (put money in assets that grow in value over time)
4. GIVE GENEROUSLY (use your money to make a difference)” pg. 146
“. . . Recommended Game Plan for Overcoming Underearning. Think big. Act small. And never, ever stop until you attain your goal, no matter what.” pg. 169
“Overcoming underearning doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a gradual process of faithfully following the Five-Step Plan until it becomes a way of life.
1. Tell the truth about what’s not working, and what is.
2. Make a firm decision about what you truly want.
3. Look for opportunities to stretch by doing what you think you can’t do.
4. Surround yourself with a supportive community.
5. Respect and appreciate money by taking good care of it.
These steps are not something you can read about and forget. You really must make them part of your daily routine, because if you do something every day, no matter how small, no matter how brief, you will eventually arrive at your destination.” pg. 170
“The Overcoming Underearning Promise - Small steps consistently taken lead to remarkable results.” pg. 171
Book: borrowed from SSF Main Library.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 24, 2019
This is the second book I read by Stanny and basically piggy backs on the first book I read.
I really appreciate Stanny's ideas as I think there is a lot of insight to be garnered from her books.
Most of the book deals with identifying and re-evaluating our attitudes about money as they relate to our lives and our earnings.
This particular book had a lot of exercises for the reader, her effort to make it feel more like one of her workshops. I'm not usually that into such exercises, but felt she did a better job than many, and may actually go back and revisit a few.
Currently at a crossroads in my career, I've decided it's time to move on...kind of scary at 47 with four kids and a very busy life. That said, books like this offer valuable opportunities for affirmation and reaffirmation.
Would have given 5 stars, only thought the first book was infinitely better.
I really appreciate Stanny's ideas as I think there is a lot of insight to be garnered from her books.
Most of the book deals with identifying and re-evaluating our attitudes about money as they relate to our lives and our earnings.
This particular book had a lot of exercises for the reader, her effort to make it feel more like one of her workshops. I'm not usually that into such exercises, but felt she did a better job than many, and may actually go back and revisit a few.
Currently at a crossroads in my career, I've decided it's time to move on...kind of scary at 47 with four kids and a very busy life. That said, books like this offer valuable opportunities for affirmation and reaffirmation.
Would have given 5 stars, only thought the first book was infinitely better.
July 27, 2017
Read this with a group of folks you trust. Use it as a workbook. Make magic!
April 11, 2018
I haven't finished this book yet but it's bound to happen soon.
Anyway, this book can't be described in words. It is a gift for those who were raised by families that couldn't manage money, that were poor or into debt. It will change your life, and I'm not kiddin'. It is definitely changing mine at the moment. You will learn so much about yourself from 'Overcoming Underearning', because, as Barbara Stanny says, having money is not about finances or having a good career. It's about you, your mind and your childhood the time where you took decisions about money and formed your strongest beliefs.
If you succeed in tackling your most painful money 'wounds' that were opened as a child, you can and will become rich. It is simple, yet so complicated.
Grab a copy asap. You won't regret it.
Anyway, this book can't be described in words. It is a gift for those who were raised by families that couldn't manage money, that were poor or into debt. It will change your life, and I'm not kiddin'. It is definitely changing mine at the moment. You will learn so much about yourself from 'Overcoming Underearning', because, as Barbara Stanny says, having money is not about finances or having a good career. It's about you, your mind and your childhood the time where you took decisions about money and formed your strongest beliefs.
If you succeed in tackling your most painful money 'wounds' that were opened as a child, you can and will become rich. It is simple, yet so complicated.
Grab a copy asap. You won't regret it.
March 27, 2020
Just in time for tax day, I review books on money and money mindset. I share my own beliefs, ideas, and thoughts about money, and I share how I have been able to transform these over time.
Overcoming Underearning: Overcome Your Money Fears and Earn What You Deserve & Secrets of Six-Figure Women: Surprising Strategies to Up Your Earnings and Change Your Life by Barbara Stanny helped me to overcome many of my personal limiting beliefs about money. I started with these books in 2016 and used her quizzes to journal about the thoughts in my head that were holding down my success. Being positive, abundant, and wealthy are available to all of us, but we need to work on our mindsets. This book helped me to cultivate my mindset to move up in my earning and in how I manage my money.
Watch my full video review - available March 20 - at https://youtu.be/AkTxpzkYhSg
Overcoming Underearning: Overcome Your Money Fears and Earn What You Deserve & Secrets of Six-Figure Women: Surprising Strategies to Up Your Earnings and Change Your Life by Barbara Stanny helped me to overcome many of my personal limiting beliefs about money. I started with these books in 2016 and used her quizzes to journal about the thoughts in my head that were holding down my success. Being positive, abundant, and wealthy are available to all of us, but we need to work on our mindsets. This book helped me to cultivate my mindset to move up in my earning and in how I manage my money.
Watch my full video review - available March 20 - at https://youtu.be/AkTxpzkYhSg
May 18, 2015
This book was amazing. Stanny gave straight forward advice that addressed the root of the problems many people have with their earnings. This book was creative because instead of being like typical finance books and looking at where your money is going, Stanny makes the reader look at themselves and why they earn what they earn. This book really changed my life and I think I will read it again just to make sure I didn't miss anything the first time.
March 1, 2017
A great book to help you get to know yourself and your beliefs around money. When you get comfortable talking about money and understanding how you deal with it, you are in a better place to ask for it in your business. So many small businesses and entrepreneurs underprice themselves and are scared to ask for what they are truly worth. This book is full of practical advice and worksheets on how to get your shit together with money.
April 21, 2007
oh my God, this book is completely changing my life. a must-read for anyone who isn't both financially secure and creatively satisfied in their career. amazingly, both things are achievable and this book will show you how.
August 3, 2012
This is not for everyone, but best perhaps for those who have a weak sense of their own finances/financial value and are trying to make positive changes for how they think about money, work, and their lives as a whole. It was really useful for me.
December 19, 2012
Definitely an interesting approach to changing your earnings. Looking at your relationship with money holistically in order to change your earning potential. Some good learnings but I felt it was a little basic for what I was hoping to get.
October 1, 2013
This really goes beyond budgeting, goes beyond the Law of Attraction, goes beyond how to earn more - this book really goes the extra mile to give the reader solid action items, along with great insight. I'd love to go to one of her workshops.
January 11, 2025
2021: read this book, got my first corporate job which allowed me to double my income
2024/2025: second read through, excited to see what changes are in store!
Barbara keeps it SO real in this book. It’s a must read for anyone.
2024/2025: second read through, excited to see what changes are in store!
Barbara keeps it SO real in this book. It’s a must read for anyone.
August 10, 2013
Actually, this is my second time through this book! I read it through once and definitely had some A-HA moments! Now I'm going back through it and actually doing the exercises with my friend Brenda!
August 21, 2013
This book has helped me get to know my relationship with money and come up with some easy but effective actions to take immediately to improve my finances. Highly recommended.
June 8, 2015
The best book about money I've read.
May 27, 2024
This is the most helpful book about money I’ve read so far and I’ll be keeping it close to reference to and to keep up with the action steps.
Taking the time to stop reading and actually answer the journaling prompts & do the suggested action steps helped me make a surprise unexpected $2,263.67 extra income this month without requiring any more of my time. The work in this book helped me feel confident in raising my 1:1 coaching prices, setting up a consistent savings plan, and be more transparent about my financial choices with my husband.
I even had the audacity to ask one of my best friends how the financial side of things worked out for her when she shared some news two days ago that she bought her first house. That led to such a deep conversation around the taboo around money and brought us even closer as friends!
I was also able to pair up with a friend in another state that’s reading this book along with me and we’ve been meeting on zoom once a week to discuss our answers to the journaling questions, our next action steps, and to hold each other accountable. We’re still planning on meeting weekly for at least the next 4 months & I cannot recommend this enough. Having more conversations about money with people that’s geared towards “what CAN I do and what is the radical truth of my current habits/situation?” helps so friggin much with follow through on what’s suggested in this book
For context I’m a woman who owns an online coaching business that I started in 2020 that has yet to bring in the amount of income to support our household and this book helped me make HUGE strides towards that just within the first month of reading it & I know it’s only more growth from here. If you’re in a similar situation I think this book can help you out a lot!!
Taking the time to stop reading and actually answer the journaling prompts & do the suggested action steps helped me make a surprise unexpected $2,263.67 extra income this month without requiring any more of my time. The work in this book helped me feel confident in raising my 1:1 coaching prices, setting up a consistent savings plan, and be more transparent about my financial choices with my husband.
I even had the audacity to ask one of my best friends how the financial side of things worked out for her when she shared some news two days ago that she bought her first house. That led to such a deep conversation around the taboo around money and brought us even closer as friends!
I was also able to pair up with a friend in another state that’s reading this book along with me and we’ve been meeting on zoom once a week to discuss our answers to the journaling questions, our next action steps, and to hold each other accountable. We’re still planning on meeting weekly for at least the next 4 months & I cannot recommend this enough. Having more conversations about money with people that’s geared towards “what CAN I do and what is the radical truth of my current habits/situation?” helps so friggin much with follow through on what’s suggested in this book
For context I’m a woman who owns an online coaching business that I started in 2020 that has yet to bring in the amount of income to support our household and this book helped me make HUGE strides towards that just within the first month of reading it & I know it’s only more growth from here. If you’re in a similar situation I think this book can help you out a lot!!
January 18, 2025
Underearning Can Take Different Forms, But It Can Be Overcome
We can be "underearners" whether we make $15/hour or $200,000/year. When you undervalue yourself, the world is happy to agree--whether you work for others or yourself. I liked the way the author presents how easy it is to fall prey to the myriad ways you can undervalue yourself (something women particularly tend to do). She goes over in detail how to get out of this self-limiting trap. The exercises are spot on. If you fear pricing your services for what they are truly worth, this book is for you!
FYI, Barbara Stanny (now Huson) is the daughter of Richard Block, the "R" of H&R Block! Let's just say her dad did not give her the best financial advice! (He was a bit sexist, encouraging--demanding?--Barbara let the men in her life, first him and then her husbands, dictate what she did with her money.) Barbara had to find her own financial way, and she has done so brilliantly. She has shared her story and approach in several books (all of which I've read and recommend!).
The book at Amazon
I listened to this audiobook for free using my Audible Plus subscription. It is no longer free on that platform as of 01/17/2025; I have heard it is available through the Spotify Premium plan.
We can be "underearners" whether we make $15/hour or $200,000/year. When you undervalue yourself, the world is happy to agree--whether you work for others or yourself. I liked the way the author presents how easy it is to fall prey to the myriad ways you can undervalue yourself (something women particularly tend to do). She goes over in detail how to get out of this self-limiting trap. The exercises are spot on. If you fear pricing your services for what they are truly worth, this book is for you!
FYI, Barbara Stanny (now Huson) is the daughter of Richard Block, the "R" of H&R Block! Let's just say her dad did not give her the best financial advice! (He was a bit sexist, encouraging--demanding?--Barbara let the men in her life, first him and then her husbands, dictate what she did with her money.) Barbara had to find her own financial way, and she has done so brilliantly. She has shared her story and approach in several books (all of which I've read and recommend!).
The book at Amazon
I listened to this audiobook for free using my Audible Plus subscription. It is no longer free on that platform as of 01/17/2025; I have heard it is available through the Spotify Premium plan.
July 23, 2021
Perhaps it is a difference of a decade of my life between reading her books, but I didn’t find this one as profound as “Prince Charming Isn’t Coming: How Women Get Smart About Money” which served to wake me up to finances in my early twenties (and I think should be gifted to every High Schooler).
However, this books does provide a clear worldview difference between under earners and high earners in how they view the value of their skills and what they insist on compensation for. The quiz was very helpful.
I did have a few revelations about my worldview around money, work, and productivity that her questions and workbook style helped me navigate in conjunction with a few other non-fiction books I’m currently reading and pondering.
Probably the most helpful point she made for me was the perception that if you made “good money” you’d have to work crazy long hours. But she says, nobody works harder or more hours than an under-earner. Which, I can testify, is absolutely true. When you’ve work 3 jobs at one time for pennies on the dollar, that point rings very true.
Something to think about.
However, this books does provide a clear worldview difference between under earners and high earners in how they view the value of their skills and what they insist on compensation for. The quiz was very helpful.
I did have a few revelations about my worldview around money, work, and productivity that her questions and workbook style helped me navigate in conjunction with a few other non-fiction books I’m currently reading and pondering.
Probably the most helpful point she made for me was the perception that if you made “good money” you’d have to work crazy long hours. But she says, nobody works harder or more hours than an under-earner. Which, I can testify, is absolutely true. When you’ve work 3 jobs at one time for pennies on the dollar, that point rings very true.
Something to think about.
November 7, 2021
I might have rated this book more highly if I had finished it five years ago when I first started it, but for whatever reason I moved on to other books in my stack and never got back to this one. Perhaps because the exercises - which I was committed to doing - had become tedious. Leafing back through all of those old notes I made five years ago was interesting, if a bit depressing. I have made some progress in terms of overcoming my own underearning, but not nearly as much as I had envisioned. While I think the author is probably right in her diagnosis and prescriptions, the proof is in the outcome (or lack thereof). To be clear, this is not the author's fault. She led a horse to water. She just couldn't make me drink.
Those looking for their own path to through the personal challenges which prevent them from bringing in the money they need to live well should probably look for more modern takes on the issue. This book is a bit dated now.
Those looking for their own path to through the personal challenges which prevent them from bringing in the money they need to live well should probably look for more modern takes on the issue. This book is a bit dated now.
April 2, 2018
A very good book which teaches you more on self worth and money.
Losing points for the following things:
- Bad typography. Not easy for the eyes because of quotes dropped in the chapters, several fonts etc.
- All the self promotion. Every chapter you will be reminded of her workshops and previous book.
- Long intro's. You will read lots of testimonials and stories before getting to the nuggets. Combined with the promoting, I almost gave up on this book. But it gets better after the first chapters.
However, the journaling prompts she gives are very valuable and so a must read for everyone who wants to learn more about money mindset.
Losing points for the following things:
- Bad typography. Not easy for the eyes because of quotes dropped in the chapters, several fonts etc.
- All the self promotion. Every chapter you will be reminded of her workshops and previous book.
- Long intro's. You will read lots of testimonials and stories before getting to the nuggets. Combined with the promoting, I almost gave up on this book. But it gets better after the first chapters.
However, the journaling prompts she gives are very valuable and so a must read for everyone who wants to learn more about money mindset.
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