When I Was Cool: My Life at the Jack Kerouac School – A Humorous Coming-of-Age Story from the First Student of the Beats

by Sam Kashner

First student of the Jack Kerouac School of Disembodied Poetics, Sam Kashner tells with humor and grace his life with the Beats. But the best story is Kashner himself -- the coming-of-age of a young man in the chaotic world of the very idols he hoped to emulate. This P.S. edition features an extra 16 pages of insights into the book, including author interviews, recommended reading, and more.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography, Biography Memoir

368 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2004

Reviews

[Jason Robinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading this account of the beginningsof The Jack Kerouac School of Disembodied School of Poetics At the Naropa Institute and its famous, yet highly eccentric faculty including Allen Ginsberg, Gregory Corso, and Anne Walkman. Sam Kashner, the author,?was the school’s first student and graduate.

[Annie Carrott Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a trip - and I didn’t want it to end! Imagine your parents from Long Island, NY sending you off at age 19 to the Jack Kerouac School of disembodied Poetics at Naropa University (the only Buddhist university in the US) in Boulder, CO to study poetry with the Beats. What could ever be better than that?! Sam’s escapades, circa mid-70’s, made for a delightful romp through the crazy wisdom world of Ginsberg, Burroughs, Corso and Rinpoche (the Buddhist head of the whole shebang). An -at times-laugh out loud fun read!
*Full disclosure - I lived behind the Buddhist house in the early 70’s - before Naropa took off. There were many nights of quite loud carousing in the alley between us! I loved that this all took place in Boulder where I knew so many of the landmarks.

[Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I was Cool by Sam Kashner is a well-written and entertaining book about the often abusive and disappointing experiences of a young man whose higher education is in the hands of the men he most admires, the poets of the Beat Generation.

The author exposes the discrepancies between his hero worship of these men and their actual lives as viewed from inside the institution they created: The Jack Kerouac School of Disembodied Poetics.

Though often compassionate in his expose of these men, he is not so inclined with the strong women who find themselves in bed, sometimes literally so, with these poets. In that regard the author's own insecurity and hostility toward such is also revealed.

His description of the entire group that funds and supports the school leaves much to be desired. In fact, it is the author's parents who steal the show, as they appear the most interesting of all the people introduced in the book.

The author also reveals that the most famous of these "Beat" poets was under the domination of a Buddhist master who, at one point, tells the poet he's too attached to his beard and he should shave it off. The poet, who at first stomps at this request, goes and shaves off his beard just to appear less ego driven. The funny part is/was that the Buddhist master lived in a mansion and drove a Mercedes.

This is an interesting book, especially for those who have had the "Beats" lingering in their imaginations since the late 50's and early 60's, as it reveals that imagination is often more beautiful than truth revealed

[John Riselvato · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was perfect and everything I wanted it to be. I finished this book on the Russian flight from HK to Moscow. I'd been reading it for a couple of days but never once felt tired of it. It's probably the longest book I've read to date, next to the Godfather. What so beautiful about this book is it shows the life of this Beat Generation heroes for exactly who they are at the expensive of the author. Who may I say, is an excellent writer, I like his style a lot.

At first I thought the book was more about him being int he shadows in the life of these great men and women. But I ended up really liking Sammy. I liked that he never mentioned tripping or letting the beat culture turn him into something he wasn't. At the end of the book I got really sad for him graduating. It was an epic story that had to come to an end, and if the experience was as good as it was for me to read, I couldn't imagine his own feelings.

I was also disappointed, not in the author but the culture change of the need of poetry during the rest of his life after the college. We didn't get too much poems out of Sam in this book, but you can tell he was respected by the college teachers. Maybe in a different time and different place he too could have been known for his poetry. Instead he's now known for this book which I think might just be even cooler.

Thanks Sam for sharing your experience at this school and your life as well as the beat generations in the less than prime state. It was a wonderful journey and one I want to experience again.

[E. Farris · Rating 3 out of 5]

My policy is to read the first 30 pages of any library book. And if it doesn't grab me, I take it back. This was one such book. I was hoping to learn more about poetry and the writing of it, the inspirations involved, etc. from this book, and I guess it was more memoir and beat/human history than what I needed. And yes, funny in spots. Just not what I need at this moment in time.

[Jack · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Thomas McDade · Rating 5 out of 5]

From The NY Times Review
Although it seems hopelessly uptight to point it out, the book rambles and loops and veers off track more than once. There's not much dramatic tension, and young Sam didn't go through any momentous transformations in Boulder. Even after two years of Beat school, he writes: ''I was unable to give up my Sammy Davis Jr. records. I was still going back to my apartment and listening to 'Sammy at the Cocoanut Grove.' ''
Still, there are plenty of downright magical moments, as when Kashner's strait-laced parents, to his keen embarrassment, took Kashner, Ginsberg and Orlovsky out for a nice kosher dinner at Ratner's, on the Lower East Side, where Ginsberg offered stories of hallucinogen trips and casual sex with soldiers, and then made Sam's mother swoon by telling her that she reminded him of Mitzi Gaynor.
In fact, Kashner's parents turn out to be the coolest characters in ''When I Was Cool.'' When Kashner and Ginsberg were in New York for Christmas vacation in 1976, Marion and Seymour made the trek from Merrick to the East Village to see Ginsberg perform his new poem ''Birdbrain'' with a rock music accompaniment, and Ginsberg, out of the blue, invited Seymour, a window-shade salesman, onstage to play harmonica. ''By the time Seymour took the stage, dressed like he was going to work in a brown suit and tie with a fedora and his plastic shoes, looking like nothing so much as a precursor to one of the Blues Brothers,'' Kashner writes, ''the rumor had spread that my father had just come off the road with Johnny Winter.''
--Paul Tough is an editor at The New York Times Magazine.

[David Rullo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sam Kashner's Allen Ginsberg, Gregory Corso and William Burroughs are not the same youthful figures Jack Kerouac wrote about or those that captured the media's attention for a few brief moments. Rather, they are now middle aged men trying to figure out what modern life means for them.

The book is obstinately about Kashner's time at the Jack Kerouac Disembodied School of Poetics but it really paints a picture of what the Beat's look like post-1970. Drug addiction, sexual controversy, mental illness, even jealousy and fame are all addressed.

This is a really fun book for anyone that's read more than On the Road or Howl and want to know how the Beats landed in the 80s. Highly recommended.

[Bert Hirsch · Rating 3 out of 5]

an odd story that would be of interest to those readers who have an affinity for the writers of the Beat movement. Allen Ginsberg, William Burroughs, Ann Waldman and Gregory Corso have starring roles. The author, Sam Kashner, graduating from high school is focused on becoming a poet and convinces his parents to support his enrollment in the newly formed jack Kerouac School of Disembodied Poetics. The story is as strange as the name of the school implies. Well written, a sensitive and, at times, humorous coming of age story.

[Janice · Rating 2 out of 5]

Being raised in Boulder and knowing “of” the Naropa Institute, I was drawn to this book. I was a child when the events in this book happened but it was fun to read names and locations of my hometown. I was not surprised that Boulder was for a time a mecca for the aging “beats” because that is such a Boulder thing but, that said, this crowd was pretty self absorbed and desperate and this was a depressing read.

[Du · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 Stars. Very interesting and honest look at ones heros through the lense of age. The tragedy feels set up from the beginning, but it's not really a car wreck, more a need to realize heros are people too. The author is honest and caring, although sometimes he gets off track, in his portrayal and his stories are human and fun. This is especially true if the portions his parents are in.

[Groggy999 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book! Anyone interested in the Beats should read it or wants to find out more about William Burroughs and his son and the sadness of the passage of time. Hilarious and sad at the same time.

[carol · Rating 3 out of 5]

Started out kinda crazy and humorous, ended up tiresome and sad.

[Michael Bagnoli · Rating 3 out of 5]

You really get to know the true personalities of Kerouac’s friends, from a different perspective

[dieguito ‧₊˚✩ ₊˚⊹♡‧₊˚ · Rating 3 out of 5]

🧘 restaram desejos não realizados de ginsberg: um acústico mtv com participações de bob dylan e beck. transar com johnny depp também não rolou. o banguela gregory corso foi afastado do grupo, por seu comportamento altamente destrutível; anne waldman, essa figura enigmática elétrica falante, que nunca simpatizou com o primeiro aluno do curso de poesia; diane di prima desvirginou o novinho; burroughs é esse fantasma que vaga despreocupadamente atrás de droga; os beats, no geral, são cansativos, vaidosos, caóticos, quem aguenta até dado momento?

[Cheryl · Rating 5 out of 5]

WHEN I WAS COOL: My Life at the Jack Kerouac School.
A Memoir by Sam Kashner. HarperCollins 0060005661 336pps $25.95

A memoir of a then skinny, naive teenage boy, from a liberal, fairly well-off Jewish family, who goes from thinking Walt Whitman had something to do with food - Maybe the Whitman Sampler box of chocolates. to being the author of 3 nonfiction books and a novel. Kashner convinces his parent to allow him to enroll in the Jack Kerouac School of Disembodies Poetics, (of which he was the very first and, at the time, only one to do so), in lieu of conventional college. Hanging out with Allen Ginsberg, William Burroughs, Gregory Corso, Peter Orlovsky and Anne Waldman, as well as cameos by the remaining Beat and non-Beat writers and muscians of the era, Kashner interweaves Beatlore with his own innocent reflections in a frank, humorous and extremely entertaining and informative platitude. A free-spirited Kiss & Tell theme runs through the pages as openly as the heroin in Burroughs veins. Hailed as a hero with his father's Diner's Club card, Kashner is called upon repeatedly to aid and abet the shenanigans of this anti-normal group of word artists. Between editing Ginsberg & Corso's manuscripts, baby-sitting Billy Burroughs the JR., backing way too many monetary expenses, one wonders who is actually benefiting from his enrollment. Intimacies of thwarting sexual advances from Ginsberg to succumbing to di Prima, are embarrassingly shared in all their sordid, ribald and untimely bodacious glory. A he loves him but he loves her floats through this stew in chunks while Kashner ponders the directed aloofness of Walkman, while impregnating one of her troup. Marijuana fields, whores, drug houses, theft and mayhem.. all the elements of prime-time are just casual actualities of extra curriculum. Kashner also stands by, silently, as Ginsberg and his ilk follow the teachings of their oft drunk Tibetan Buddhist meditation teacher Chogyam Trungpa, Rinoche - who pounds on Ginsberg to lose your ego as he pads his own pockets and libido with admiration and servitude. Reflections from the Beats are also placed abundantly within as all give their good, bad or indifferent memories of Kerouac and Cassady an ear. One of the best Beat books I've read. Used and abused, we go from day one to graduation with his zany encounters and events, all the while hoping the school gets it's accreditation before he graduates. Reminiscent of Tom Wolfe's days of entrenchment with Ken Kesey & the Merry Pranksters, it's a fun, fast paced-read that shows us what happens when literary renegades become our teachers.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

You know something's good when, upon finishing, you immediately go to your Norton Anthology of Poetry from college and look up referred texts, and then on to YouTube for interviews with the main subjects.

I don't have any knowledge of the Beats, next to nothing except names and titles. And most of those didn't match, to be honest. I could throw out the names of Jack Kerouac, and Allen Ginsberg; I knew "Naked Lunch" had something to do with it - but did either of those two write it? Not sure.

What I really loved about this was the perspective Kashner offers. I felt a little bit of a kinship with him; there's something about a naive, sheltered, solidly middle class kid in an ordinary town deciding they want to be in the arts that rings a little close to home. Granted, I never took a risk like he did, or was even really ever compelled to, but some of the most well-written parts were when he discussed his parents and their totally solid, though bewildered, support for his crazy ambitions. That idea alone - of diving into this world of complete art and artists out of something so opposite and safe - is appealing in and of itself to me, but the "cast of characters" are what totally drives it home.

Kashner may not write poetry any more, but his writing is superb. His descriptions of legends are so funny and complex; he manages to gracefully balance his initial hero worship of Ginsberg, Burroughs, and Corso with the shocking reality: that the poets don't even seem to know themselves at all. Just thinking about Gregory Corso interrupting Kashner's phone calls with his mom and calling her Minerva make me giggle, but I can completely understand his repeatedly saying how he could be so afraid of the poets, based on where he came from. I have mad respect for anyone who can see themselves so clearly, and he's extremely matter-of-fact about who he was at 18 or 19, and easily makes himself the butt of some jokes as well. You really feel poor, young Kashner's bewilderment at the entire situation he found himself in. (Mainly, following around a heroin addict begging him to finish his anthology and eventually bribing him with his parents' credit card to tell him about Kerouac's funeral.)

I don't really know exactly why this will stick with me; mainly, it accomplishes a sort of sweet, nostalgic tone while still being extremely well-written and sharp, which is sort of rare in the memoir department.

[Nate Jordon · Rating 4 out of 5]

What I have to howl about this book is obviously biased, in more ways than one: 1) I'm currently in the MFA program at The Jack Kerouac School and 2) I'm what you'd call a "disciple" of The Beats. Many of the people Kashner writes about I see on a regular basis. I even told Anne Waldman I loved her after a little too much wine at a spaghetti dinner at her house last year (see upcoming poem "Drunk at Anne Waldman's House" appearing soon in Pistol Whip Magazine). She gave me a hug and we spun around laughing on the grass. Anyhow...the book is quite controversial on campus - bring up the title and you'll get more than a raised eyebrow and frown. Nevertheless, I found the book to be charming - though it does wave the flag of defamation, alluding to the school as a joke. Kashner shows the old Beats in the flesh - their human sides that live in the shadows of their legends. But Kashner shows his nakedness as well - good and bad. After alluding to Jack Kerouac being the gayest of all Beats to a condemning fault, Kashner tells the reader he swapped spit with Ginsberg multiple times, and other things... . But he's heterosexual, sir. And to prove it, he mentions getting head from Diane DiPrima. So the book is filled with good ol' honest hedonism. What else would one expect going to school with The Beats? And therein lies Kashner's problem - he must have turned a blind eye when reading the poems and prose of The Beats, because it's all there in black and white, yet he seems surprisingly disgusted when he experiences it himself. He may have been happier studying under the tutelage of Quaker Puritans. Huah.

[Brian · Rating 4 out of 5]

In 1975, the 19-year-old author, with the support of his kind and loving Jewish family, left the suburbs of Long Island and moved to Boulder, CO to become the first--and for several months, only--student at the inaugurated Jack Kerouac School of Disembodied Poetics at the Naropa Institute, a Buddhist institute of higher learning founded by Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche. The first task for Kashner by his teacher Allen Ginsberg was to complete a poem Ginsberg had written about fellating Neal Cassady in a flophouse.

By 1975 the remaining Beats (Ginsberg, William Burroughs, Gregory Corso, Anne Waldman) are past their prime and a little more desperate for immortality. Kashner writes not from the perspective of a man reflecting back across 3 decades, but from the perspective of the shy, awkward, naive adolescent he was at the time.

The book humanizes its subjects, capturing their flaws and idiosyncrasies, and Kashner does not shrink from his own stumbles and embarrassments. Kashner is pretty skillful at weaving different stories into a fairly cohesive narrative, and he exhibits great ear for dialogue, bringing each of the main actors alive. It's often very funny, as well as bittersweet, particularly in the case of Burrough's son Billy, whom Beats passively watch drink himself to death. Occasionally the writing is awkward, and Kashner appears to have been a little negligent in his fact-checking: "vajra guards" is consistently misspelled "vadjra guards," and Burroughs tried to shoot a glass off his wife's head, not an apple. Overall, When I was Cool is a charming read of Kashner's 2 years with a cast of colorful but very flawed individuals.

[Lee]

When I was Cool by Sam Kashner is a well-written and entertaining book about the often abusive and disappointing experiences of a young man whose higher education is in the hands of the men he most admires, the poets of the Beat Generation.

The author exposes the discrepancies between his hero worship of these men and their actual lives as viewed from inside the institution they created: The Jack Kerouac School of Disembodied Poetics.

Though often compassionate in his expose of these men, he is not so inclined with the women who find themselves in bed, sometimes literally so, with these poets. In that regard the author's own insecurity and hostility toward such is also revealed.

His description of the entire group that funds and supports the school leaves much to be desired. In fact, it is the author's parents who steal the show, as they appear the most interesting of all the people introduced in the book.

The author also reveals that the most famous of these "Beat" poets was under the domination of a Buddhist master who, at one point, tells the poet he's too attached to his beard and he should shave it off. The poet, who at first stomps at this request, goes and shaves off his beard just to appear less ego driven. The funny part is/was that the Buddhist master lived in a mansion and drove a Mercedes.

This is an interesting book, especially for those who have had the "Beats" lingering in their imaginations since the late 50's and early 60's, as it reveals that imagination is often more beautiful than truth revealed.

[Khris Sellin · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a book for those who give a sh*t about the Beats. I don't. (Hated, hated, hated "On the Road" and couldn't get through 2 pages of Naked Lunch.)
Anyway, some of the old Beats decide to start the so-called Jack Kerouac School of Disembodied Poetics, and the author was their first-ever student.
Many of the reviews talk about how uproariously funny this book is. Yeah, if you find it funny reading about William S. Burroughs' son, Billy Jr., drinking himself to death and his self-absorbed father mostly ignoring him, then you'll find it hilarious. (The funniest thing in the book was when Allen Ginsberg decides to fly home to NY w/the author for the winter break, and the author's father meets them at JFK dressed as -- Allen Ginsberg.)
And Kashner rambles all over the place. He starts to tell one story, only to go off on a tangent so long, you forgot what he was talking about to begin with.

The only sign of any humanity from any of these old Beats comes from Ginsberg. Somewhere in there, I think he really cared about the author. It's clear Kashner thought a great deal of him.

[Richard · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are a lot of things to like about Sam Kashner's coming-of-age memoir, "When I Was Cool." First: Mr. Kashner wasn't cool and probably knows it. Second: he doesn't go through detox or recovery. Halleluia! A memoir without a recovery center or AA meeting. Third: his affection for these old lions, of whom only Peter Orlovsky is still with us. Fourth: the look at their everyday lives, from hemorrhoids to the keystone cops comedy of The Jack Kerouac School of Disembodied Poetics. Fifth: Mr. Kashner's long suffering, very cool, and funny parents. And Sixth: Mr. Kashner's teenaged, wide-eyed, intimidated, growing-up self.

Its not the last book that will be written about Naropa or any of the characters, but it's the only book written by the first (and for a long time only) student of the Kerouac school, and is sometimes lovely, often funny, and very easy - it's "a report of an intimate nature," i.e., gossip.

[Peggy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fun look back at some crazy times and wild people. The author applied to and was accepted at the Jack Kerouac School of Disembodied Poetics (a part of Naropa University in Colorado). When he arrived at the school, he discovered he was the first and only student. More students would arrive a year later. Kashner spent two years at the school marveling and sometimes wondering at the antics of his mentors: Allen Ginsberg, William Burroughs, Gregory Corso, Anne Waldman and a host of other Beats and Buddhists. It was a heady time for a young student and an opportunity not had by many. The Jack Kerouac School of Disembodied Poetics is still in existance. My daughter attended a week-long workshop there last June.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

a young idealistic student and Beat-worshipper goes to Boulder to become the first student at the Jack Kerouac School of Disembodies Poetics. what he finds instead is a chaotics world of learning from his idls while babysitting Burroughs' son, keeping Corso from doing drugs, and typing up manuscripts for Ginsburg. told in a very intimate and easy-going narrative, this is a book for those of us who have idolized these writers, lived in Boulder, or just like a rollicking-good Coming-of-Age story. i *loved* this book.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVED loved LOVED this book.

Sam was a nice Jewish boy from Long Island thrust into the world of Allen Ginsberg, Gregory Corso, William Burroughs -- after their major heyday. He was the only student of the unaccredited "School Of Disembodied Poets" at Naropa University in Boulder, founded by Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche - himself a fascinating character.

Sam is like a deer in the headlights around some of these men who he revered - and he sees their clay feet - lovingly.

I laughed out loud at some parts and afterwards was KEENLY jealous of his experience.

[Leslie · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good footnote for anyone interested in the Beats. Allen Ginsberg and a few others started the Jack Kerouac School of Disembodied Poetics and the author, Sam, was their first, and for a while, their only student. He got to know his heroes as human beings and became close to Allen and a few others. None of them seemed very happy, especially William Burroughs and his son, Billy. He graduated two years later and went on with his life, but Sam's experiences are scary, amusing, sad, and interesting.

[Kimberly · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book for the most part. Kashner writes from an interesting perspective about the Beats-- as a fan, friend and student. His writing makes its characters come alive in their older years. My main problem with this book is an editing problem. Kashner will give a provocative fact, metaphor or image, and then repeat the same fact, metaphor or image shortly after stating it. This annoyed me to no end. Other than that, it was a good, quick read.

[Kerstin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a well-written and really interesting story, but it definitely does not paint a flattering picture. I bought it because he talks about Billy Burroughs a lot (close to the end of Billy's life, after the transplant, when he was living in Colorado)...he was even apparently in charge of "keeping Billy out of trouble" for a time. Uh oh. But certainly worthwhile.

[Elizabeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was never into the Beats; I just happened to pick this book up at random from the library. So, with no sense of hero worship to guide me, I read a story of some sad middle-aged men, alternatively shambling and raging through life. I suppose I chose three stars because I can't really decide what I thought of this book.

[Maddsurgeon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sam Kashner went to the Jack Kerouac School of Disembodied Poetics, where he learned poetry (among other things) from giants such as Ginsberg, Burroughs and Corso. Kashner is an excellent storyteller and the book is part history lesson, part coming-of-age story. Recommended to anyone who ever dreamed about meeting their idol in the flesh.