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As Nora Jo Fades Away: Confessions of a Caregiver
Life goes from Hollywood to Michigan to Mars when Lisa and her family take in her grandmother who has dementia. The Weavers quickly discover the comicals of Nora Jo bring a whole new realm of crazy to their copasetic abode. And the question becomes, how high a price can they pay for this traumatic change?
184 pages, Paperback
First published April 1, 2010
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
July 30, 2013
Lisa Cerasoli’s As Nora Jo Fades Away is a sometimes heartbreaking, often hilarious memoir about taking care of a beloved grandmother suffering from Alzheimer’s. Cerasoli captures the complex humanity of her subject with an affecting honesty and a penetrating wit. I laughed every time GG asked for “more beer,” and I actually laughed out loud at the sign on the microwave that warned against heating beer cans up in the microwave.
Indeed, I laughed quite a bit as I read As Nora Jo Fades Away. But I also felt Cerasoli’s frustration and depression and grief and exhaustion. There’s no easy solution to the pain Alzheimer’s caregivers face, just as there is no simple fix to the puzzle of Alzheimer’s. I hope and pray that will change--that science will allow us to better treat patients like Nora Jo.
Overall, I loved both the characters and the authentic writing style. What I took away from Cerasoli’s book is an appreciation for a well-written story and a feeling of hope, albeit one mixed with sorrow, that until a cure is found, patients such as Nora Jo will receive the loving care they--that all of us--deserve.
And I felt thankful that there are people like Cerasoli who, while not pretending to be perfect, represent the kinder side of our human nature. I highly recommend this book, and can’t wait to see the movie based on it.
Author E.L. Farris
Indeed, I laughed quite a bit as I read As Nora Jo Fades Away. But I also felt Cerasoli’s frustration and depression and grief and exhaustion. There’s no easy solution to the pain Alzheimer’s caregivers face, just as there is no simple fix to the puzzle of Alzheimer’s. I hope and pray that will change--that science will allow us to better treat patients like Nora Jo.
Overall, I loved both the characters and the authentic writing style. What I took away from Cerasoli’s book is an appreciation for a well-written story and a feeling of hope, albeit one mixed with sorrow, that until a cure is found, patients such as Nora Jo will receive the loving care they--that all of us--deserve.
And I felt thankful that there are people like Cerasoli who, while not pretending to be perfect, represent the kinder side of our human nature. I highly recommend this book, and can’t wait to see the movie based on it.
Author E.L. Farris
May 26, 2013
Dementia distilled,
Most readers searching for some support in coping with being a caregiver turn to books that discuss exercises, ways to disrupt the progression of early to late to terminal dementia, signs that there may be others out there who are facing the same (embarrassing) guilt feelings of being saddled with the expected family duty of caring for the elderly. Yes, those books may help redesign a safe house, understand the phases of memory lapse and how to recover as much of it as possible, but few, if any, of those books have the courage to be honest about the stress and agony and ultimate relief (accompanied by a grief) when the demented relative finally `leaves'.
What Lisa Cerasoli does in this exceptionally well-written, at times hilarious book is invite us to accompany her as she tends to her grandmother whose mentation has been diminished and altered into a comic book style of living. Alzheimer's - it seems to be the destiny of us all as we approach the tarnished version of the Golden Years. And in addition to enjoying the writing of how Lisa Cerasoli coped with Nora Jo's diminishing mental rationality and responses we are introduced to how caring for someone who is no longer able to care for themselves can take on a whole new aspect.
At the heart of every drama is comedy - a recipe playwrights have known for centuries, and that is the technique our author uses in relating this memoir. Yes, it is perfectly acceptable to laugh at the misguided antics dementia in relatives spring on our lives - how else can we survive with forming a loathing of the tasks of dealing with poop in odd places, behaviors that are best hidden behind curtains. And while Cerasoli keeps us informed as to her own responses to the vagaries of day to day care giving, she also has the sensitivity to look into the mind of Nora Lo and present a full picture of how the dementia affects the demented.
At the end of book is a scrapbook of photographs of her family and the stages when Nora Jo was pre-demented, and in addition to that tender addition she attaches some brief biographies written by others who have coped with the elderly dwindling mind. Yes, there is great entertainment in the fact that Lisa Cerasoli writes so well, but there is also a large dollop of encouragement for those who are in the current role of caregiver - or the future role of one being cared for!
Grady Harp
Most readers searching for some support in coping with being a caregiver turn to books that discuss exercises, ways to disrupt the progression of early to late to terminal dementia, signs that there may be others out there who are facing the same (embarrassing) guilt feelings of being saddled with the expected family duty of caring for the elderly. Yes, those books may help redesign a safe house, understand the phases of memory lapse and how to recover as much of it as possible, but few, if any, of those books have the courage to be honest about the stress and agony and ultimate relief (accompanied by a grief) when the demented relative finally `leaves'.
What Lisa Cerasoli does in this exceptionally well-written, at times hilarious book is invite us to accompany her as she tends to her grandmother whose mentation has been diminished and altered into a comic book style of living. Alzheimer's - it seems to be the destiny of us all as we approach the tarnished version of the Golden Years. And in addition to enjoying the writing of how Lisa Cerasoli coped with Nora Jo's diminishing mental rationality and responses we are introduced to how caring for someone who is no longer able to care for themselves can take on a whole new aspect.
At the heart of every drama is comedy - a recipe playwrights have known for centuries, and that is the technique our author uses in relating this memoir. Yes, it is perfectly acceptable to laugh at the misguided antics dementia in relatives spring on our lives - how else can we survive with forming a loathing of the tasks of dealing with poop in odd places, behaviors that are best hidden behind curtains. And while Cerasoli keeps us informed as to her own responses to the vagaries of day to day care giving, she also has the sensitivity to look into the mind of Nora Lo and present a full picture of how the dementia affects the demented.
At the end of book is a scrapbook of photographs of her family and the stages when Nora Jo was pre-demented, and in addition to that tender addition she attaches some brief biographies written by others who have coped with the elderly dwindling mind. Yes, there is great entertainment in the fact that Lisa Cerasoli writes so well, but there is also a large dollop of encouragement for those who are in the current role of caregiver - or the future role of one being cared for!
Grady Harp
January 9, 2015
this was a good reads win for me. this book was pretty good, and interesting to me since my mother has dementia. The book got boring at times, but was still a worthwhile read.
May 26, 2013
Confessions of a Caregiver
A Memoir
By Lisa Cerasoli
Five Star Publications, Inc., 186 pgs
978-1-58985-190-0
Submitted by the author
Rating: 3.5
As Nora Jo Fades Away by Lisa Cerasoli will take your breath away, either from pain or laughing your ass off, one or the other. Humor is required, both coping mechanism and self-defense. I admit a certain bias: I, along with my stepmother and sister, was a caregiver for my father during the last fifteen months of his life. Like Nora Jo, he suffered from a certain amount of dementia, along with a long list of health problems, complications and the occasional (increasingly frequent) crisis. It was the best thing I've ever done and I am eternally grateful to my stepmother for allowing me to be there, for wanting me to be present. Witnessing is important. A lot of relationships don't survive such stresses. The relationships that do survive are sometimes damaged but sometimes the fire forges something stronger from the flames. I think that's what my stepmother and sister and I have now. Steel.
Nora Josephine Cerasoli, the author's grandmother, was diagnosed with dementia and then Alzheimer's in 2006. Two years later, after a mishap that could have burned her grandmother's house down with her in it, Lisa moved her Gram into her home with her relatively new family: young daughter, stepson and husband. Talk about trial by fire. Twenty-four hour caregiving is exhausting - physically, mentally and emotionally. The author did not sleep for the first two months. More than three days without sleep can cause hallucinations, did you know that? I do. Lisa describes it this way:
Every single night in bed I lay with eyes wide open, listening like a guard on graveyard shift at the state penitentiary waiting for a prison break. I took my job that seriously. There'd be a snore. Is she choking? A wheeze. Did she stop breathing? A creek. Crap, is she trying to get up? Is she going to fall again? And who's going to stop talking to me NEXT over all this rigmarole?
Nora Jo kept odd hours, almost flipping her days and nights. It's one o'clock in the afternoon why hasn't anyone made coffee yet? On the other hand, half the day is gone so forget the coffee, why not a brandy instead? New sign pasted to the microwave door: 'No beer cans or silverware in the microwave. Thanks.' She wouldn't remember eating and her brain had lost the connection to the stomach that tells you that you are full. So rail-thin Nora Jo eats, a lot. The Iraqis poisoned the lettuce, the proof of which was that she had to throw it away. Failure to identify everyday household objects: why is there a jar of twenty tweezers in the bathroom?
This is the quote that heads chapter one:
There's only one man I've ever loved. We met when I was fourteen and we were married for sixty-seven years. What the hell was his name? - Nora Jo
She didn't always know who you were. Holidays and birthdays can be frustrating and difficult because who the hell are all these people in my house? She often forgot that her husband and a son had preceded her in death. Can you imagine having to explain that over and over again? But there's something worse than that. Can you imagine having to hear that news and go through that pain, as if it were brand new, over and over again? This takes patience and it takes compassion and it takes empathy and it is hard. But then the question: what is worse? Not remembering, not understanding? Or, and this happens too: the fog clears suddenly, immediately and completely and the poor woman understands that she hasn't understood. And she is embarrassed and she is ashamed. Can you imagine? Dignity is a big deal.
Everyone has an opinion. You can't move her in. It'll end your marriage. Not your responsibility. That's what nursing homes are for. Everybody has a story they want to tell you. This is supposed to be illustrative of the utter impossibility of the situation. But Lisa did it, she moved her Gram in and learned to care for her. She had the help of her family and friends; support from an extended network of caregivers she had met during the course of writing this book; and the occasional prescription from the family doc. What it boiled down to for Lisa was this: This woman is my Gram and she would have gladly laid down her life for me at any time. Nora Jo passed on December 16, 2010.
The writing style here is spare, sardonic but still conveying the pathos of the situation. Some of the stories will leave you aghast but are still infused with love and gratitude. Lisa Cerasoli understands in her bones that we owe a debt to the people who loved us and took care of us and sacrificed for us. I do wish the book was longer, and that there were less quotation marks. But I'm not going to quibble punctuation style in the face of the honesty it took the author to turn the mirror on herself. There is a lovely family picture album included and an in memoriam section for other victims of Alzheimer's and their families that the author has met in support groups and nonprofit organizations, followed by a section of resources and references in case you need more help. It feels as if she has welcomed us into her kitchen, sat us down at the table with a beer or two, and started telling stories. It can be, as Lisa puts it, like a bizarre cross between Norman Rockwell and any random episode of All In the Family. But in the final analysis that's the point: family.
Bonus: One dollar for every book sold will go directly into a fund for The Alzheimer's Association and Leeza's Place.
www.TexasBookLover.blogspot.com
A Memoir
By Lisa Cerasoli
Five Star Publications, Inc., 186 pgs
978-1-58985-190-0
Submitted by the author
Rating: 3.5
As Nora Jo Fades Away by Lisa Cerasoli will take your breath away, either from pain or laughing your ass off, one or the other. Humor is required, both coping mechanism and self-defense. I admit a certain bias: I, along with my stepmother and sister, was a caregiver for my father during the last fifteen months of his life. Like Nora Jo, he suffered from a certain amount of dementia, along with a long list of health problems, complications and the occasional (increasingly frequent) crisis. It was the best thing I've ever done and I am eternally grateful to my stepmother for allowing me to be there, for wanting me to be present. Witnessing is important. A lot of relationships don't survive such stresses. The relationships that do survive are sometimes damaged but sometimes the fire forges something stronger from the flames. I think that's what my stepmother and sister and I have now. Steel.
Nora Josephine Cerasoli, the author's grandmother, was diagnosed with dementia and then Alzheimer's in 2006. Two years later, after a mishap that could have burned her grandmother's house down with her in it, Lisa moved her Gram into her home with her relatively new family: young daughter, stepson and husband. Talk about trial by fire. Twenty-four hour caregiving is exhausting - physically, mentally and emotionally. The author did not sleep for the first two months. More than three days without sleep can cause hallucinations, did you know that? I do. Lisa describes it this way:
Every single night in bed I lay with eyes wide open, listening like a guard on graveyard shift at the state penitentiary waiting for a prison break. I took my job that seriously. There'd be a snore. Is she choking? A wheeze. Did she stop breathing? A creek. Crap, is she trying to get up? Is she going to fall again? And who's going to stop talking to me NEXT over all this rigmarole?
Nora Jo kept odd hours, almost flipping her days and nights. It's one o'clock in the afternoon why hasn't anyone made coffee yet? On the other hand, half the day is gone so forget the coffee, why not a brandy instead? New sign pasted to the microwave door: 'No beer cans or silverware in the microwave. Thanks.' She wouldn't remember eating and her brain had lost the connection to the stomach that tells you that you are full. So rail-thin Nora Jo eats, a lot. The Iraqis poisoned the lettuce, the proof of which was that she had to throw it away. Failure to identify everyday household objects: why is there a jar of twenty tweezers in the bathroom?
This is the quote that heads chapter one:
There's only one man I've ever loved. We met when I was fourteen and we were married for sixty-seven years. What the hell was his name? - Nora Jo
She didn't always know who you were. Holidays and birthdays can be frustrating and difficult because who the hell are all these people in my house? She often forgot that her husband and a son had preceded her in death. Can you imagine having to explain that over and over again? But there's something worse than that. Can you imagine having to hear that news and go through that pain, as if it were brand new, over and over again? This takes patience and it takes compassion and it takes empathy and it is hard. But then the question: what is worse? Not remembering, not understanding? Or, and this happens too: the fog clears suddenly, immediately and completely and the poor woman understands that she hasn't understood. And she is embarrassed and she is ashamed. Can you imagine? Dignity is a big deal.
Everyone has an opinion. You can't move her in. It'll end your marriage. Not your responsibility. That's what nursing homes are for. Everybody has a story they want to tell you. This is supposed to be illustrative of the utter impossibility of the situation. But Lisa did it, she moved her Gram in and learned to care for her. She had the help of her family and friends; support from an extended network of caregivers she had met during the course of writing this book; and the occasional prescription from the family doc. What it boiled down to for Lisa was this: This woman is my Gram and she would have gladly laid down her life for me at any time. Nora Jo passed on December 16, 2010.
The writing style here is spare, sardonic but still conveying the pathos of the situation. Some of the stories will leave you aghast but are still infused with love and gratitude. Lisa Cerasoli understands in her bones that we owe a debt to the people who loved us and took care of us and sacrificed for us. I do wish the book was longer, and that there were less quotation marks. But I'm not going to quibble punctuation style in the face of the honesty it took the author to turn the mirror on herself. There is a lovely family picture album included and an in memoriam section for other victims of Alzheimer's and their families that the author has met in support groups and nonprofit organizations, followed by a section of resources and references in case you need more help. It feels as if she has welcomed us into her kitchen, sat us down at the table with a beer or two, and started telling stories. It can be, as Lisa puts it, like a bizarre cross between Norman Rockwell and any random episode of All In the Family. But in the final analysis that's the point: family.
Bonus: One dollar for every book sold will go directly into a fund for The Alzheimer's Association and Leeza's Place.
www.TexasBookLover.blogspot.com
May 29, 2010
Guess who's coming to dinner and NOT leaving? Grandma, that's who. Why? She can't find her way home.
After luring us through her debut novel, On the Brink of Bliss and Insanity with stark wit and mad fascinating characters, Cerasoli surprises us with the wryly written heartfelt story of life with her ailing grandmother.
"There's only one man I ever loved. We met when I was fourteen and we were married for fifty-seven years. What the hell was his name?"
Nora Jo
As Nora Jo Fades Away
2010 First Place Winner
Paris Book Festival
Romance
Lisa's Gram, Nora Jo was diagnosed with progressive dementia and then ultimately Alzheimer's Disease in 2006. By 2008, it became clear she could no longer live on her own. So Lisa and her family moved her in and life as they knew it shifted instantaneously from Michigan...to Mars. The Weavers quickly discover that the "comicals" and tragedies of Nora Jo's incurable condition bring a whole new realm of "crazy" to their offbeat but copasetic abode, driving it into full-throttle Darwinian mode. Yep, it's officially "Survival of the Fittest" at the Weaver joint, and even the dogs are contemplating a nice, quiet exit to "the farm."
As Nora Jo Fades Away will make your heart and mind wrestle, as Cerasoli's does, with concepts like love vs. logic and Heaven & Hell. Dementia, Alzheimer's and related mental illnesses are not something a person can really "prepare" for. This story redefines the price a family is willing to pay for one of its members to hold onto dignity.
If you've missed Archie Bunker's off-color-in-your-face wit, he's back in the shape of Nora Jo. Taking care of her? World's most unlikely caregiver. In other words-a soap star gone Michigan. In other words-Nurse Jackie with designer jeans, but without the RN degree.
After luring us through her debut novel, On the Brink of Bliss and Insanity with stark wit and mad fascinating characters, Cerasoli surprises us with the wryly written heartfelt story of life with her ailing grandmother.
"There's only one man I ever loved. We met when I was fourteen and we were married for fifty-seven years. What the hell was his name?"
Nora Jo
As Nora Jo Fades Away
2010 First Place Winner
Paris Book Festival
Romance
Lisa's Gram, Nora Jo was diagnosed with progressive dementia and then ultimately Alzheimer's Disease in 2006. By 2008, it became clear she could no longer live on her own. So Lisa and her family moved her in and life as they knew it shifted instantaneously from Michigan...to Mars. The Weavers quickly discover that the "comicals" and tragedies of Nora Jo's incurable condition bring a whole new realm of "crazy" to their offbeat but copasetic abode, driving it into full-throttle Darwinian mode. Yep, it's officially "Survival of the Fittest" at the Weaver joint, and even the dogs are contemplating a nice, quiet exit to "the farm."
As Nora Jo Fades Away will make your heart and mind wrestle, as Cerasoli's does, with concepts like love vs. logic and Heaven & Hell. Dementia, Alzheimer's and related mental illnesses are not something a person can really "prepare" for. This story redefines the price a family is willing to pay for one of its members to hold onto dignity.
If you've missed Archie Bunker's off-color-in-your-face wit, he's back in the shape of Nora Jo. Taking care of her? World's most unlikely caregiver. In other words-a soap star gone Michigan. In other words-Nurse Jackie with designer jeans, but without the RN degree.
May 13, 2013
Lisa Cerasoli writes with startling irreverence about taking in her beloved Gram, an impressive act of generosity, I thought, for a young woman with a fairly new family of her own. Gram had always been quite a character, and now she loves her warm beer, after switching from brandy. She swears and her favorite song is about two people cheating on their spouses. Lisa is as feisty as her stubborn Gram. Her husband is a saint and their kids adapt astonishingly well - little girl Jazz is a scene-stealer.
After the initial shock at Lisa's raw honesty, I saw how much she respected and loved her grandmother. Lisa brings her readers into the story, and we're there as she figures out how to keep Gram from putting beer cans in the microwave or suffers through a bunch of "Shi**y @ss Days." Dialog captures the potentially amusing: "The Iraqis have poisoned my lettuce," and the sad: "Oh, Ricky, I just realized that you're my Ricky. I'm so ashamed." Lisa discovers the movie "The Notebook" and says, "If Quentin Tarantino had directed it, it might resemble something close to what 'Life With Nora Jo' has been like thus far."
Caregivers of those with Alzheimer's and other dementias know all about the insanity that rules, but few of us can laugh about it. Mostly we try to think good thoughts and not have a screaming breakdown. This book may be a bit much for some caregivers, but it will dare others to smile. Lisa's words of confession say what we may be afraid to, and there's power in reading them. And in the little moments of comfort knowing others walk the same mind-boggling path, we gain the strength to go on, rewarded by brilliant flashes of love.
After the initial shock at Lisa's raw honesty, I saw how much she respected and loved her grandmother. Lisa brings her readers into the story, and we're there as she figures out how to keep Gram from putting beer cans in the microwave or suffers through a bunch of "Shi**y @ss Days." Dialog captures the potentially amusing: "The Iraqis have poisoned my lettuce," and the sad: "Oh, Ricky, I just realized that you're my Ricky. I'm so ashamed." Lisa discovers the movie "The Notebook" and says, "If Quentin Tarantino had directed it, it might resemble something close to what 'Life With Nora Jo' has been like thus far."
Caregivers of those with Alzheimer's and other dementias know all about the insanity that rules, but few of us can laugh about it. Mostly we try to think good thoughts and not have a screaming breakdown. This book may be a bit much for some caregivers, but it will dare others to smile. Lisa's words of confession say what we may be afraid to, and there's power in reading them. And in the little moments of comfort knowing others walk the same mind-boggling path, we gain the strength to go on, rewarded by brilliant flashes of love.
August 26, 2011
Recently I was interviewed and was asked this question, "who is my favorite author?" I told them that, for me, it's impossible to just name one because I like variety and different genres. My answer was simply this: I know that I have found a 'new' favorite author when they have been able to grab my attention within the first few pages; that I get a wee bit upset that I have to put the book down because 'life' is trying to get my attention and pull me back to reality; or that when I know I only have a few more pages left, I slow down my reading because I do not want our time to come to an end. After reading this heart-warming/breaking, funny, honest, real, touching detailed account of watching someone you love disappear right before your eyes, I can definitely add Lisa Cerasoli to my list of favorite authors. This is truly a gem and a treasure to read. The most comforting lesson from understanding the ugliness of this disease is that Alzheimer's will destroy and tear away the essence of the people we love but, it can never erase or damage the love we carry so deeply in our hearts, souls and our memories of those who mattered to us. Bravo Lisa!!
July 16, 2013
AS NORA JO FADES AWAY: CONFESSIONS OF A CAREGIVER a Memoir by Lisa Cerasoli,Foreword by Leeza Gibbons is a powerful Memoir/Mental Illness/Dementia/Alzheimer's Disease. What a powerful and compelling story of a caregiver/Granddaughter of someone with Dementia and/or Alzheimer's Disease. This is a heartbreaking disease for both the one affected and the family. Ms. Gibbons has written an honest story without bias,it has its funny moments but is a true heartbreaker. A must read for not only caregivers but for everyone who has a loved one. Powerful story! Received for an honest review from the author.
RATING: 4.5
HEAT RATING: NONE
REVIEWED BY: AprilR, Review courtesy of My Book Book Addiction and More
RATING: 4.5
HEAT RATING: NONE
REVIEWED BY: AprilR, Review courtesy of My Book Book Addiction and More
January 15, 2011
This is a wonderful book! The subject matter would seem to be a downer, but Lisa Cerasoli brings humor and great depth to her memoir about being a caregiver to her grandmother with Alzheimers. Stunningly beautiful writing. Anyone with a friend or family member with Alzheimers should read this book. Better yet, everyone should read this book.
October 22, 2012
I loved this book!! I really wish that I had read it while taking care of my mother with Alzheimer's disease. This is a really lighthearted look into the daily rituals of taking care of an Alz. patient that has so much humor. Even it you are not in this situation, read the book. This book reminds us that sometimes we just have to take a step back and laugh when you really feel like crying!
August 7, 2016
This couldn’t be much different from her first book. I enjoyed her first one but I think this is even better. It gives readers a sample into what life is like when you live with someone with Alzheimer's.
June 11, 2015
I like her videos much better. I was excited about knowing Nora Jo before and after Alzheimer's . But I felt disappointed that this book is more about Lisa Cerasoli herself as a caregiver. It's not as humorous as videos. Actually it's depressing and sad.
December 27, 2018
Awesome
April 24, 2012
Unique perspective from a caregiver. This memoir tackles a sad topic with humor and a positive outlook.
January 20, 2013
Laugh aloud funny.
November 4, 2014
Loved the book- Love Lisa and the humor and heartbreak she brings to her experiences with an unforgiving disease.
February 18, 2015
I loved this book! For people out there who know or who care for someone with Alzheimer's, this is a great book to read!
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews