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If I Had You
From bestselling author Deborah Bedford comes the moving tale of an estranged mother and daughter, and the child who forces their old conflicts back into the light.
- GenresChristian
336 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published August 1, 2004
8 people are currently reading
78 people want to read
About the author
Deborah Bedford
32 books36 followersaka Debbi Bedford
Deborah Bedford was born on 1958 in Texas, USA and earned her degree in journalism and marketing from Texas A&M University. Immediately after graduation, she accepted editorship of Evergreen Today, a weekly newspaper based in the small mountain town of Evergreen, Colorado. While serving as editor there, she worked 70 or 80 hours each week, writing stories and cut-lines, sports and features, chasing fire trucks and checking police reports, taking pictures, editing, laying out pages, opaquing the negatives, stacking papers into vending machines and taking out the quarters.
It was long before she began to dream of returning to her first love, fiction writing. For her birthday in the summer of 1984, her husband, Jack, bought her a copy of the 1984 Writers' Market, and she began to meticulously send letters to every publisher listed in the book. Rejection letters flowed back by the handfuls. She has a large folder where, for posterity's sake, she has kept these to this day. She has also kept the letter from Harlequin Books she received, which invited her to submit a complete manuscript but warned her that Harlequin did not want books about cowboys, airline pilots, guest ranches or Texans. Deborah laughs now when she tells the story. Her manuscript was the story of "a woman who marries an airline pilot in Texas. Then, when he dies in a plane crash, she runs away to a guest ranch and falls in love with a cowboy." When she showed her husband, Jack, the letter, he said, "Honey, you've managed to write a manuscript that has everything in it they don't want." Harlequin bought the manuscript five short weeks after she submitted it. At that time, her editor told her, "This book isn't a romance, but we're going to publish it, anyway."
When Debbi Bedford's first book, Touch the Sky, was released by the Harlequin Superromance line, its sales topped every Harlequin record for a first-time author. It earned rave reviews and a Romantic Times Reviewer's Choice award. During the next seven years, she published six more books for the Harlequin Superromance series and a historical novel, Blessing, before signing a contract with HarperCollins Publishers. This paved the way for her to move on to write mass-market mainstream women's fiction, where her work garnered numerous awards and appeared on the USA TODAY bestseller list. The word she uses to describe her career is "beguiling." Whenever she wrote words about Jesus or God in her stories, those spiritual overtones were never touched, edited or omitted. But, along with those words, she admits that she was writing steamy scenes. "I wanted all the reward that the world would give me," she says. "I wanted all the fame, and all the status. But I realized that I was giving away lentils in the Lord's battlefield. That's when I became convicted. The time had come for a change."
What surprises Deborah the most, she says, is the freedom she now finds in writing for her Heavenly Father. "It feels like gloriously falling forward and wondrously coming home, all at the same time," she says. The Story Jar (March 2001) written with Angela Elwell Hunt and Robin Lee Hatcher and including pieces from Left Behind author Jerry B. Jenkins, Francine Rivers, Debbie Macomber and Lori Copeland, marked Deborah Bedford's writing debut for the inspirational market. It held a spot on the CBA Bestseller list for three consecutive months. While still shopping for the right publisher for her novel-length fiction, she had the opportunity to stand up at the Jackson Hole Writers' Conference, read an excerpt from The Story Jar, and explain to conference attendees about the call she felt to leave mass-market fiction and follow the Lord. In the audience that evening was Jamie Raab, publisher of Warner Books. The rest, as everyone says, felt like stars moving into place.
When You Believe w
Deborah Bedford was born on 1958 in Texas, USA and earned her degree in journalism and marketing from Texas A&M University. Immediately after graduation, she accepted editorship of Evergreen Today, a weekly newspaper based in the small mountain town of Evergreen, Colorado. While serving as editor there, she worked 70 or 80 hours each week, writing stories and cut-lines, sports and features, chasing fire trucks and checking police reports, taking pictures, editing, laying out pages, opaquing the negatives, stacking papers into vending machines and taking out the quarters.
It was long before she began to dream of returning to her first love, fiction writing. For her birthday in the summer of 1984, her husband, Jack, bought her a copy of the 1984 Writers' Market, and she began to meticulously send letters to every publisher listed in the book. Rejection letters flowed back by the handfuls. She has a large folder where, for posterity's sake, she has kept these to this day. She has also kept the letter from Harlequin Books she received, which invited her to submit a complete manuscript but warned her that Harlequin did not want books about cowboys, airline pilots, guest ranches or Texans. Deborah laughs now when she tells the story. Her manuscript was the story of "a woman who marries an airline pilot in Texas. Then, when he dies in a plane crash, she runs away to a guest ranch and falls in love with a cowboy." When she showed her husband, Jack, the letter, he said, "Honey, you've managed to write a manuscript that has everything in it they don't want." Harlequin bought the manuscript five short weeks after she submitted it. At that time, her editor told her, "This book isn't a romance, but we're going to publish it, anyway."
When Debbi Bedford's first book, Touch the Sky, was released by the Harlequin Superromance line, its sales topped every Harlequin record for a first-time author. It earned rave reviews and a Romantic Times Reviewer's Choice award. During the next seven years, she published six more books for the Harlequin Superromance series and a historical novel, Blessing, before signing a contract with HarperCollins Publishers. This paved the way for her to move on to write mass-market mainstream women's fiction, where her work garnered numerous awards and appeared on the USA TODAY bestseller list. The word she uses to describe her career is "beguiling." Whenever she wrote words about Jesus or God in her stories, those spiritual overtones were never touched, edited or omitted. But, along with those words, she admits that she was writing steamy scenes. "I wanted all the reward that the world would give me," she says. "I wanted all the fame, and all the status. But I realized that I was giving away lentils in the Lord's battlefield. That's when I became convicted. The time had come for a change."
What surprises Deborah the most, she says, is the freedom she now finds in writing for her Heavenly Father. "It feels like gloriously falling forward and wondrously coming home, all at the same time," she says. The Story Jar (March 2001) written with Angela Elwell Hunt and Robin Lee Hatcher and including pieces from Left Behind author Jerry B. Jenkins, Francine Rivers, Debbie Macomber and Lori Copeland, marked Deborah Bedford's writing debut for the inspirational market. It held a spot on the CBA Bestseller list for three consecutive months. While still shopping for the right publisher for her novel-length fiction, she had the opportunity to stand up at the Jackson Hole Writers' Conference, read an excerpt from The Story Jar, and explain to conference attendees about the call she felt to leave mass-market fiction and follow the Lord. In the audience that evening was Jamie Raab, publisher of Warner Books. The rest, as everyone says, felt like stars moving into place.
When You Believe w
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
June 20, 2019
Nora and Ben Crabtree have had their hearts broken by their wayward daughter, Tess, many times. Rebelling against her strict and critical upbringing, Tess turned to drugs and a life on the run. Now Tess returns home, pregnant and seeking money for an abortion. Nora's belief in God is the only thing that stops her from encouraging the abortion, because in her heart she knows Tess will not be a reliable mother.
Now, pregnant with a baby that the child's father does not want, Tess is torn between the safety and comfort of her parents' home and the love she feels for her boyfriend. She manages to stay with her parents through the pregnancy, intending to give the baby up for adoption, but never quite gets around to choosing adoptive parents. After Tansy is born and the boyfriend shows up shortly afterwards, Tess decides to leave the baby with her parents and return to the love of her life. Will Tansy and Tess ever be reunited? Can the past that Nora has tried so hard to forget ever be laid to rest?
The novel paints a beautiful picture of God's love and forgiveness in situations that some consider beyond redemption. Nora, Ben, and Tess are realistically written characters who reflect the good and bad in any family. Nora's struggle with the past comes out in the way she acts in the present and is dealt with in a gentle, yet straightforward manner. The conflicts between Nora and Tess will hit close to home for many readers, even those who have good relationships with their parents.
The ending is a bit abrupt, but shows how God can bring good out of a bad situation. The main characters become familiar friends throughout this story, and the themes are relevant to the society we live in today. This is Christian fiction, but it does not sugarcoat reality. Abortion, drug use, gangs, and serious family discord are all discussed, yet placed within the cover of God's love. Deborah Bedford, author of many moving books, has written another gem that goes deep beneath the surface to provide authenticity and grace.
Now, pregnant with a baby that the child's father does not want, Tess is torn between the safety and comfort of her parents' home and the love she feels for her boyfriend. She manages to stay with her parents through the pregnancy, intending to give the baby up for adoption, but never quite gets around to choosing adoptive parents. After Tansy is born and the boyfriend shows up shortly afterwards, Tess decides to leave the baby with her parents and return to the love of her life. Will Tansy and Tess ever be reunited? Can the past that Nora has tried so hard to forget ever be laid to rest?
The novel paints a beautiful picture of God's love and forgiveness in situations that some consider beyond redemption. Nora, Ben, and Tess are realistically written characters who reflect the good and bad in any family. Nora's struggle with the past comes out in the way she acts in the present and is dealt with in a gentle, yet straightforward manner. The conflicts between Nora and Tess will hit close to home for many readers, even those who have good relationships with their parents.
The ending is a bit abrupt, but shows how God can bring good out of a bad situation. The main characters become familiar friends throughout this story, and the themes are relevant to the society we live in today. This is Christian fiction, but it does not sugarcoat reality. Abortion, drug use, gangs, and serious family discord are all discussed, yet placed within the cover of God's love. Deborah Bedford, author of many moving books, has written another gem that goes deep beneath the surface to provide authenticity and grace.
August 2, 2009
It is the story of three generations in the same family. Nora is in her late 40's. Her daughter Tess is in her late teens. All her life, Tess has felt like nothing she did was good enough for her mom. She left home, got hooked on drugs and got pregnant. She came home, had her daughter with the intention of putting her up for adoption, but then changed her mind.
Bedford said this book is her story. I won't tell you which of the women she is, but I will tell you that the book has a strong pro-life message. I just didn't really like any of the characters, except the little girl.
Bedford said this book is her story. I won't tell you which of the women she is, but I will tell you that the book has a strong pro-life message. I just didn't really like any of the characters, except the little girl.
July 21, 2009
Great book of family relationship, decisions and consequences/rewards. Heart felt novel dealing with abortion and decisions. Handled nicely and heartfelt.
Teenage daughter who has been on her own comes back home pregnant. How her family deals with it is what this book is about.
This aurthor is a must read!
Teenage daughter who has been on her own comes back home pregnant. How her family deals with it is what this book is about.
This aurthor is a must read!
August 28, 2011
A friend gave me this book and I thought it was just "another fiction book" Now I know it was because she knew I needed the healing this book can give. It is about women in the same family who cannot communicate- and what it does to them and to the people who love them. And it's also about how that lack of significant relationships can be healed! Thank You, Deborah, for this.
June 24, 2013
This book allows a poignant look at the psychological repercussions of both bearing a child out of wedlock as well as abortion. An excellent read for anyone who is considering their stance on the issue of abortion.
August 10, 2010
This book was absolutely incredible. I love when a story comes from the heart of an author, and this one did. It also gives GREAT information to the readers that can relate and need more help with their decision.
March 28, 2009
I really enjoyed this book?
May 27, 2009
Favorite Quote: "Very significant events happen when you lose sight of where you're going."
May 21, 2023
This is a beautifully written tale of healing, with much growth and learning throughout the book. I love how everything turns out in the end and feel like I have learned something from this book. It also inspired me to pray more.
August 16, 2022
By far one of my favorite books to read. It had me in tears majority of the time. Loved the characters and plot. I could not recommend this book enough!!
June 7, 2024
Christian author. Interesting writing.
March 20, 2017
This book hit home for me and honestly helped me out of a dark place. It was perfect timing when I needed it.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews