Dream Lovers: The Magnificent Shattered Lives of Bobby Darin and Sandra Dee - by Their Son Dodd Darin

by Dodd Darin, Maxine Paetro

The superstars of an era, singing star Bobby Darin and movie star Sandra Dee were the perfect American show business couple. Now, their son reveals the fascinating truth about these stars, based on his own memories, interviews, and letters. Features rare photographs.

Genres: Biography, Music, Nonfiction, Biography Memoir, Memoir, Film

371 pages, Hardcover

First published September 29, 1994

Reviews

[Lynx · Rating 4 out of 5]

By the time Dodd Darin entered his teen his father Bobby had passed away. Fifteen years later he would begin putting together this book as a way to connect with him and learn all about the Bobby the man, not just the father. This was no easy task, especially since both Bobby and especially his mother Sandra Dee had very traumatic things happen in their childhoods that would go on to effect the rest of their lives. Dodd doesn't shy away from the hard issues, he confronts his mothers sexual abuse, alcoholism and eating disorders head on, something that Sandy was also only beginning to truly confront at the time and he dives deep into his father world, interviewing old friends and family who are brutally honest about Bobby being both the most fun, entertaining man in the room but also sometimes the most difficult to be around. Their love affair, as with their lives was often a tragic one but the love they had for one another, and for their child Dodd is very evident. This is not always the most easy read but it's certainly the most insightful one you will ever find on both Sandra and Bobby.


For more on Sandra and Bobby check out Muses & Stuff.

[Louise · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dodd Darin tells his parents’ lives as a narrator weaving together interviews and letters. The story is a period piece glimpsing two 1950/60’s lives and careers. It shows the extremes families went to in those times to hide alcoholism, anorexia, childhood sex abuse and unwed motherhood.

The parents came from two different worlds. Bobby Darin was from rough part of NYC and Sandra Dee was sheltered by a fanatically devoted mother who sacrificed reality for appearances. You see Bobby scrambling to make his way and Sandra having modeling and film offers laid at her feet.

Their romance could have been a script from a 1950’s romantic comedy. He was attracted to her beauty and its implied virginity. He won her by persistence. Neither understood the essence of the other.

Once married, the ardent suitor, who played a perfect Prince Charming role, spent time, formerly devoted to her, with his pals. His response to her loneliness was that he was a good provider, he had no other women and they had great sex; what more could she want? She was still a teenager and a survivor of sexual abuse and an anorexic – what did, or could, he know of these problems? Or that she had them?

Dodd follows their careers and lives. You see Bobby, both loyal to and dismissive of friends and family. You see him mentored by George Burns with a touching story about Gracie Allen’s death. You see Bobby taking risks, making it big, supporting social justice, giving wealth away, changing his style, starting a publishing business and having others inform both Sandra and later his second wife that there will be a divorce. He wonders: who is his father? He could not understand the pressure that led his mother to hide his father's identity and, as he learned later, that of herself; neither does he appear to appreciate the sacrifices his family made for him. At the age of 37, lifelong health issues catch up with him and you see him lose this fight.

You see Sandra’s career peaking at a time of changing tastes and the end of the studio contract system that coddled its stars and kept them employed. Unlike Bobby, when her career dried up she did not try anything new, professionally or personally. No work, the divorce and an enabling mother resulted in what seems like agoraphobia. Sandra’s mother’s death put her more on her own with several attempts to break free of alcohol and anorexia, but still emotionally unable to attend her son’s wedding.

Both Dodd’s parents reached the pinnacle of success in their fields. Neither was happy for reasons that may have been set in motion when they were kids. Bobby was extraordinarily able to cope with change while Sandy was unable to cope with anything. While they may have loved each other, they do not seem to know each other. Sandy’s demons have names and can be diagnosed and there are potential treatments. Bobby’s demons were more complex.

While this book is 20+ years old it remains relevant, not for just being a saga of stars as the entertainment business supersized but also for defining in personal terms the issues of success, addiction, child sex abuse, anorexia, family, and change.

[Cathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dodd Darin pulls no punches. He writes a very honest portrayal of both his parents. He includes passages from all the important people in Sandra Dee's and Bobby Darin's lives and careers. He writes about their childhoods, their rise to fame, and the ultimate heartbreak that each of them faces. Dodd Darin has written a very well-rounded look at the lives of his parents. If you want the truth about these stars' lives, this is the book to read. Very well done.

[Lorna Collins · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dodd Darin took a brave journey of discovering who his parents were. How sad to know that both Bobby Darin and Sandra Dee were so fatally flawed as people. Both had difficult childhoods. Both needed to be the centers of attention. yet they clearly loved each other deeply. I clearly remember both of these talented performers. My husband had a crush on Sandra, and Bobby sang the soundtrack to our teens. Revealing, startling, and sad to learn about the issues in the lives of these two tragic figures. A worthwhile and fascinating read.

[Jennifer Lafferty · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was fun reading this book about one of the best loved celebrity couples of the 1960s, Sandra Dee and Bobby Darin, written by their son Dodd Darin. It was interesting hearing the story from such a personal insider's perspective. However, the book did drag in places and there was quite a bit of extraneous information. Instead of a traditional biography it was more like a collection of journal entries from friends and family members. I would still recommend this to fans of Dee and or Darin because the personal recollections of Dodd Darin are often poignant and very eye opening.

[Stacey Ziegler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved getting to know the real life drama this couple lived, however, it left me not liking Bobby very much! The part about his father and him being with women in the same room having "relations" was disgusting and disturbing to me!
Sandra came off to me as a shell of the woman she could have been had it not been for Bobby. She seemed numb...going through the motions....not really living, just existing.

[Holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sandra Dee was a favorite of mine growing up. This book was eye-opening for me. I had no idea of the tragic events that had gone on in her life. She was an inspiring woman. Bobby Darin, on the other hand, sounded like a total jerk.

[Katherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Was really good and very informative.. but very depressing. Who would have thought that's how it really was?

[Paula · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved Sandra Dee growing up and knew who Bobby Darin was somewhat until I saw the Kevin Spacey movie. Dodd tells the story of his parents lives, warts and all. This is one of the better biographies that I've read. Dodd really did a lot of research into his parents past, and at the time, he still had Sandra to give her side. Very good read, I would have given it 4.5 stars if I could, not a 5 because there was some repetition but a good memoir.

[Pam Koenig · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gidget & Mack the Knife real and unvarnished

The son of Bobby Darin & Sandra Dee, looks behind the facade of his parent's lives and shares their flaws and triumphs. If you ever saw Gidget, or remember Dream Lover or Mack the Knife, this is a book you need to read. It takes you back to the 60's, the studio system for young starlets, and the crazy music business. I knew that she looked very young, but never realized she was only 16 when they married, or the way she was brought up. He was a egomaniac, but behind all the bluster, was a flawed man who found true love. Life conspired against them, but I think the feelings for each other never died. She never remarried, and he had a short lived second marriage. He died too soon, and she never really learned how to live in the real world. No punches are pulled in the telling, but memories shine through.

[Cami · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm a huge fan of Sandra Dee, so I was excited to read this story about her life. I was somewhat expecting the happy-go-lucky life story to mimic the ones she lived on-screen. This was not the case. The traumas of her childhood were heartbreaking to read about. A must for fans, but be warned if you struggle to read about child abuse.

[Miles · Rating 5 out of 5]

Earlier this year, I watched Beyond the Sea, where Kevin Spacey plays Bobby Darin in a biopic that dramatizes his life. I love Darin’s music, so it was great to learn more about him, but the movie was so-so at best. So, when I was putting together my summer reading list and I came across this book, written by his son, I knew I had to have it.

And boy, it delivered. Dodd doesn’t shy once from giving the truth of both Darin and Sandra Dee’s life stories, and for almost the entirety of the book, it’s just that. The two lived very painful, hard lives, and they made many decisions that are at best harmful to those around them and at worst entirely indefensible. Yet, they were both stars, and were doing what they loved. Truly, “magnificent shattered lives” is the only way to describe it. I think the lack of a comma on the cover is intentional. Their lives weren’t magnificent, and shattered, the two adjectives existed in unison.

I will always love Bobby Darin’s music and respect his talent. I haven’t seen either he or Sandra Dee’s films (though I’ll soon remedy that), but I’m sure they’re fantastic as well. However, he was human, and at times, he was an awful one. Both of these statements are true, and neither diminishes the other.

I would highly recommend this book not only to fans of Darrin or Sandra Dee, but really to people interested in pop culture at all. I haven’t read anything like it.

[Nick Artrip · Rating 4 out of 5]

My real rating is 3.5. This is well written and acts as an excellent book about Darin and Dee. As a huge Sandra Dee fan this was a tough read, revelation after revelation about how grossly tragic her real life was. There were times when the writing felt a bit too guarded and given the closeness of the author and the subjects this is understandable. But all in all a good, but depressing read.

[Brian · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very candid account of Bobby and Sandra's lives written by their son. This book was written before Sandra Dee's death and she contributed quite a bit to the book. Bobby's portion came from many close friend's and relatives. This book is very, very candid to say the least and not spoil anything. You'd never guess...

[Renee Thompson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Watched the DVD "If a Man Answers" with Sandra Dee and Bobby Darin. Of course I needed to find out more about this couple and requested the book "Dream Lovers" written by their son Dodd.

Very enlightening and written by a man who loved his parents and admits their flaws and agonies.

A pretty darn good memoir.

[Lisa]

I read this because Sandra Dee is something like the second most famous Rusyn-American. It is probably the most depressing book I've ever read. Sandra Dee had a terrible life where she got shuffled around like an inanimate object, and Bobby Darin was a TOTAL JERK, too. Written around the time when therapeutic tell-alls were en vogue.

[Marilyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fabulous book written by the son of two of my favorites, Sandra Dee and Bobby Darin. It is very well written and an amazing story. I have really enjoyed it and wish that Dodd Darin was still writing books!

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I rarely rate 5 stars for any book nonetheless, a celebrity memoir. Picked (book) up while grazing shelves, wanted a light read. To my surprise it was deeply thought provoking, bravo to Dodd and collaborators for pulling the whole book together.

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading this book about both of these hollywood stars.

[Karen Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! Dodd wrote a loving yet unflinching true story of his famous parents.

[Josh Avery · Rating 3 out of 5]

The story of Bobby Darin and Sandra Dee told by their son Dodd Darin.

The Good: Bobby Darin was an amazing talent, Oscar Nominated actor, legendary singer/songwriter. (Splish Splash, Beyond the Sea, Dream Lover, If I Were a Carpenter, etc) died at 35 from heart disease, and was told his entire life that his grandmother was his mother and his mother, was actually his older sister. He was coddled and spoiled his entire life and was to a lot of people, a total prick, who was arrogant and entitled, yet extremely loyal to those he trusted. Sandra Dee, was molested by her stepfather as a child, which was denied by her overbearing, smothering mom, met Bobby Darin at 16, married him at 17 and never had another relationship after they divorced. She had major alcohol and body image issues her entire life and because of how her mom smothered her, she never made friends, never learned to drive and couldn't dress herself until she was in her 20's. Their only child, Dodd, was 12 when his dad died and has spent the majority of his life figuring out who his dad was, while basically "raising" his mom who was codependent on everyone who showed her compassion. There were a lot of stories from friends and family of both parents showing their bad and good sides. Dodd Darin has done pretty well for himself considering the hand he was dealt. He is brutally honest and forthcoming with everything.

The Bad: He hops back and forth from line to line with calling his dad " Bobby" then calling him dad so much it gets confusing and distracting. You don't like anyone in this book except for Dodd.

Sometimes, it's better to not know about the lives of certain people.....

B-

[Elvis2 · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've wanted to read this for a long time. I lived in LA in the sixties and saw Bobby and Sandra once in person. They were incredibly attractive together. I thought they were perfection personified. I was young. The truth is different.

I quit reading at around the two-thirds point, when Bobby was trying to be Bob Dylan. It was simply too much dysfunction, too much repetition of the same kind of information. They were both incredibly spoiled, descriptions of which bored me after a while. Sandra's mother allowed her to be molested from the age of five, used her child mercilessly, and deserves no respect. Bobby's family enabled bad behavior because of his illness and hid the identity of his birth mother. He might never have known the truth had he not gotten involved in politics. Bobby's behavior was outright crazy, ranging from terrible cruelty to deep compassion. The book is mostly the Bobby story.

The book itself is riddled with misspellings (Kate Kendall, Rona Bernstein) and typos which should have been caught. All in all, it's an average celebrity story about two people who went down the tubes. It should have been a much shorter book.

[Ro · Rating 2 out of 5]

It took me awhile to read this book. It's well written, and the topic was interesting to me, but there were parts that just disgusted me so much I had to take breaks (anywhere from an hour to a day) after reading them. Bobby's personality "disorders", his attitude about sex early on in the book, he comes across as a selfish prick A LOT; Sandra's mother - what a horrible woman, her disgusting step-father who married the mother so he could get at Sandra and sexually abuse her, the denial, the other really awful things I could point out but I think this is enough... Ugh! The book is almost 30 years old, Sandra is long dead, Dodd is now 60, but the descriptions of things made my skin crawl. It's a wonder Dodd ever was able to separate his parents bullshit from his own life.

[Laurie Byro · Rating 4 out of 5]

I gave him an extra star for describing what it's like having an alcoholic parent, and someone like Sandy with her squeaky clean looks but major mental issues was couragous and especially as she was alive when he was writing this. I was so frightened my mom would find out I was going to alanon meetings, she never knew and after she passed I think I feared her "knowing" she was a mess. It's well written and interesting, as people have said draggy at times, but again, and I know he had help in the writing of this, but a fine effort. I feel almost guilty I read it, very "People" magazine sort of writing, but hey, I admired his dad, and related to many things in the book, I think it's a worthwhile read.

[Shannon Roth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book, which I stumbled upon randomly on the Chicago Public Library site...thank you, algorithm!

This is the true account of Bobby Darin and Sandra Dee written by their only child, who interviewed their closest family and friends to uncover their truths.

I was blown away that I had never really heard about these two stars who were top of the A-list in their heyday.

If you like this, you may also like the movie biopic, Beyond The Sea, which was a vanity project directed and staring Kevin Spacey. If you can get past the actor's own baggage (shameful behavior), you might enjoy the movie.

[Mortisha Cassavetes · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an awesome brief overview of the relationship of Bobby Darin, a number one singer and songwriter, and Sandra Dee, America's sweetheart movie star. The book was written by their son and he tells of their ups and downs not only in their marriage but in their professional careers. I highly recommend the book but I do wish it would of been a little bit longer. Fingers crossed for updated book in the future.

[Elizabeth Ulrich · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. This book is written by a son who writes about his parents to include warts and all. He writes this book with honesty showing all of the emotions that he had being raised by his parents and losing his father when he was 12 years old. He learned hard truths about both parents. Yet, while working through everything he learned to love his parents, and eventually, he discovered happiness for himself.

[Dylan Webb · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s hard to sum up in words what this book meant to me. It came to me at a very special time in my life, and it came from someone very near and dear to my heart that I can’t even assign her a label.

I had only recently fallen in love with Bobby and yet I had a hunger to know more. This book fulfilled that and then some (it probably helped that my copy felt like a time machine, with its old receipts and bookmarks). To anyone considering reading this, I cannot recommend it enough.

[Sharalynne Pasztor · Rating 4 out of 5]

My obsession with everything Bobby Darin lately brought me to this wonderful book written by their son Dodd. I really, really enjoyed it and learned so much about them. I used to like him a lot when I was younger but had no idea of all the sadness and tragedy of both of their lives. If you are at all of the age of remembering Mack the Knife and Gidget, you might find this an interesting book.

[Melonie Kingsbury · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very honest book about the lives of Bobby Darin and Sandra Dee written by their son.
It just makes me sad about all that they went through. Just wished the marriage was a bit happier than what he wrote about.