Dave Barry Is from Mars and Venus

by Dave Barry

Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, bestselling author, and Wheel of Fortune contestant Dave Barry exposes the shattering truth. Whether he's splashing with the U.S. sychronized swim team ("Picture a bunch of elegant swans swimming with a flailing sea cow") or reliving the Pilgrims' first Thanksgiving ("We've decided to obliterate your culture, but first may we try the stuffing?"), Dave Barry proves that one man can make a difference--by having the guts to answer the questions few people bother to

¸  What makes people want to eat animals they would never consider petting?
¸  Where do the World's Three Most Boring People meet?
¸  Why is Colorado freezing so many human gonads?
¸  And just how does Oprah have the power to turn a 1957 Hotpoint toaster manual into a #1 bestseller?

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Essays, Comedy, Short Stories, Adult, Relationships

274 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 1997

About the author

Dave Barry is a humor writer. For 25 years he was a syndicated columnist whose work appeared in more than 500 newspapers in the United States and abroad. In 1988 he won the Pulitzer Prize for Commentary. Many people are still trying to figure out how this happened.
Dave has also written many books, virtually none of which contain useful information. Two of his books were used as the basis for the CBS TV sitcom "Dave's World," in which Harry Anderson played a much taller version of Dave.
Dave plays lead guitar in a literary rock band called the Rock Bottom Remainders, whose other members include Stephen King, Amy Tan, Ridley Pearson and Mitch Albom. They are not musically skilled, but they are extremely loud. Dave has also made many TV appearances, including one on the David Letterman show where he proved that it is possible to set fire to a pair of men's underpants with a Barbie doll.
In his spare time, Dave is a candidate for president of the United States. If elected, his highest priority will be to seek the death penalty for whoever is responsible for making Americans install low-flow toilets.
Dave lives in Miami, Florida, with his wife, Michelle, a sportswriter. He has a son, Rob, and a daughter, Sophie, neither of whom thinks he's funny.

Reviews

[Jim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Way back when, I read Barry's column religiously in the Sunday paper. He's a hoot who takes the minor annoyances of the world to task & puts them into proper perspective. IOW, he inflates them outrageously & ultimately diminishes them by getting me to laugh at them. He hits a lot of the common annoyances. I especially appreciated those about commercials.

His bit on avoiding reading glasses really struck a real chord. Yes, text within a body length has to be approximately the size of Shaquille O'Neal before we can read it; a trial in life & not too far from the truth. Earlier this year, I had to get my license renewed & forgot my reading glasses. The young clerk handed me a sheet with questions on it that I had to check off. I told him I couldn't read it unless he held it for me. He said I needed an eye exam, so I read the small print on the poster 10' behind him. He couldn't read it even though he was 3' closer. Of course, I didn't have to take the eye exam. There's nothing wrong with my vision, my arms are just too short.

The book is made up of some of his columns, so somewhat dated. Bill Clinton was still in office & OJ was a big deal. There are hours worth of material, so I'd listen to it for an hour or so & then read another book before coming back to it. It's a guaranteed pick-me-up after the most depressing read. Highly recommended.

If you like Barry, I'll also recommend Mary Roach's books. She's another author about my age who had a column in Reader's Digest in the distant past. They've compiled her columns into My Planet: Finding Humor in the Oddest Places. She's since become a popular science author. IMO, her best books are Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers, Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex, & Gulp: Adventures on the Alimentary Canal.

[Bjorn Sorensen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Normally I would give 5 stars to a Nobel prize-winning book or some classic like Don Quixote. Dave Barry is that much of a genius. In this audio edition, read gamely by ex-American Top 40 countdown host Shadoe Stevens, Barry expounds on seemingly everything in modern society that has ever annoyed me, like loud Harley riders and public cigar smokers who "smell like an arm pit on fire". He also rails against boredom, against activities like golf ("It's not all boring - just the part where you hit the little white ball around. The parts with the cart are fun.") and fishing ("...which is boring, unless you actually catch a fish. Then it's just disgusting."). Barry always lets you know he's human, too, like when he heavily criticizes Phillip Morris for trying to give a new brand of cigarettes the casual name "Dave's". Maybe during the commercials "Dave" can "hock up a folksy chunk of trachea. Maybe we can call one of the by-products of smoking a nice-sounding disease like 'Jeffrey's Leukemia'". I must say I found myself listening to many parts of book many times and also slowing down on the way home so I could hear more of it, laughing out loud as mildly annoyed drivers passed by. Barry is creative, vivid, opinionated and always on the side of the average human trying to make his or her way through an increasingly complex world.

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title is completely meaningless. In fact, Barry gives us a little view into the process of titling a book and just how hard it can be, what with the writer, the editors and publishers (and lawyers) all wanting to have their say in the matter. Having said that, I think my favorite title idea was the original, Another Damn Dave Barry Book, which gives us a little more insight into the author's mind than we otherwise might have gotten. The title that they eventually went with, of course, is a clever play on the relationship self-help series of a similar name, which I have never read, but which I'm willing to bet doesn't have a chapter in it on why everyone chants "Air ball" at the same rhythm and pitch at any basketball game in the country.

In his long and well-documented career, Barry's column has covered countless topics, many of them inspired by news stories sent in by Alert Readers. In fact, if you follow his blog, you realize that he's still operating under this particular modus operandum, which makes me wonder how I can get such a cushy job.

Probably because I suck at writing comedy. That would be a useful prerequisite.

Anyway, some of the various and sundry topics that Barry tackles in this collection of columns are those such as the way to win the Drug War (just make sure all illegal drugs are packaged in as much safety-proofing as legal drugs. By the time the addict has gotten through the child-proof cap, the tight plastic seal, the giant wad of cotton and the six-page pamphlet warning you about how dangerous the drug is, they'll be too exhausted to actually use the drug - brilliant!) as well as how the concept of "boring" can vary from person to person, and whether boring people know that they're boring (Answer: no), and why your brain holds on to inconsequential minutae, such as a TV jingle from thirty years ago (Finish this sentence: "Plop, plop; fizz, fizz....") but cannot be relied upon to remember important things, such as where your pants have gone off to.

Barry combines observational humor with anecdotal, going from his hilarious misadventures trying to go snowmobiling with his son in Idaho to begging us not to kill his son as the boy starts driving in Miami, a city where things like traffic laws are regarded as quaint inconveniences. This book is a great casual read, since all the entries are only a few pages long. Read it on a short train ride, on the toilet, anyplace and time where you need a bit of quick entertainment to lift your mood. You're guaranteed to find some laughs in here.

[Jay Shepherd · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dave Barry is undoubtedly the funniest columnist writing in the English language. I rarely read a column that I don't burst into laughter, no matter what my surroundings. This is one of two or three of his collections, that should be in everyone's bathroom. (What do you mean? Where else can you read them?)

[Brett · Rating 3 out of 5]

I feel like there must be nothing in the world as repetitious as my reviews of Dave Barry books. Like most, I first encountered Barry by reading his column in my local newspaper. As an adolescent, I found him hilarious. As an adult, I sometimes still find him quite funny, though less LOL inducing than my younger self found him. This is another collection of newspaper columns, so there isn't much of a theme, just random thoughts from Barry about whatever he wrote about in a particular week in the mid-nineties.

One item of note: Barry books have often had tragically bad covers and titles over the years, but I have to say that this one is pretty much the worst. The bad photo-shopping, the mugging for the camera, the meaningless riff on the title of another popular book. It is truly groan-inducing. The first chapter is even dedicated to discussing how the title of the book came about (long story short: it was very hard to find anything that everybody involved could agree upon. How they reached agreement on this one, we may never know.)

Anyway, I continue to read Barry as a bit of a guilty pleasure, and still enjoy the experience, but I do so rather self-consciously. If you grew up reading Barry, you may get similar pleasure from the experience.

[Michael · Rating 2 out of 5]

This Dave Barry book, titled (PUT SPECIFIC TITLE HERE) was quite funny. I very much enjoyed the booger joke on page 37. Numerous parts, including the (TRY VERY HARD TO REMEMBER ONE SPECIFIC PART) part, were especially funny! I laughed aloud! Haha!

At the end of the book I was left with the sense that, although I'd just been entertained for an hour and a half, that I'd basically been doing the literary equivalent of shoving peeps up my nose. Peeps the candy, not the slang word for acquaintances.

Dave Barry is almost as funny here as he was in Dave Barry Turns 40, which means quite a riot! Haha!

You're right, I haven't read this one since I was about 15. How did you know?

[Chrisiant · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm pretty sure I've read every Dave Barry book out there, but this ranks up there as one of my favorites. It's a collection of his columns, as many of his books are. I think the reason I found this one better than some of the others is that it was written around the time I was waking up to politics and reading news on a regular basis and all-in-all getting a much clearer sense of why what he wrote about was funny. I started getting all the social commentary jokes for the first time.

Of course, poo jokes are timeless.

[Mycala · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought this book on vacation in Chicago with my Mom. It was our last day, and we were on our way back to the airport. We anticipated a bit of a wait at the airport. I laughed so hard that Mom started getting embarrassed. When he got to the part where he was setting the toilet seat on fire, I had tears rolling down my cheeks and Mom said she was going to sit somewhere else. There was a group of businessmen nearby and one of them finally said, "If that's not an endorsement for that book, I don't know what is!"

[Chanel Earl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Until I started reading "I am America, and You can too" I listed this book as the funniest book ever written. I think it is Dave's best work and for some reason the humor in it really spoke to me.

Another thing I liked about it is that with the short essay format I could read a few pages at a time. That said, I think I finished the whole book in under a week. I liked it that much.

[Duane · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you're ever needing a good laugh, then you should always pick up any book by Dave Barry. This book is based on his column in the Herald Tribune so the topics change with each chapter. Barry does a excellent job with sarcasm and direct to the point wit, so if you enjoy learning a few things and laughing, then this book is for you.

[Dave · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dave Barry books are always good for chuckles. This was a compilation of articles he wrote several years ago for the Miami Herald which were then syndicated. There were some really funny ones in this collection!

[Dolly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Always good for a laugh! Dave Barry is one of my favorite authors - his silly humor and sarcastic wit is entertaining and I'm always up for a quick, funny read.

[Terry · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love all of Dave Barry's books, but steer clear of the political ones. I don't find any political stuff humorous- just boring. This book especially cracked me up!

[Kara · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book contains arguably my favorite Barry bit about classical music vs. the song Mammer Jammer. It used to make me laugh hysterically as a kid. A winner.

[Melynna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I said non-fiction, but that might be a lie. Nonetheless, Justin and I liked a lot of the stuff in here. We had fun reading some of them out loud together.

[The Wanderer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this at a used bookstore in Thailand, and though I've read very little by Dave Barry before, I recognized his name, so I picked it up. It was an enjoyable read.

I'm Canadian, and don't always appreciate American humor, but Dave Barry hits a mostly decent balance between goofy and clever. He pokes fun, obviously, but he's not caustic. The most scathing he got was "The Name Game", which I thought was masterfully done. I also liked how he went back a lot to the same side comments, like the O.J. case, but instead of this making it seem like he had run out of jokes, it made me feel like I was just getting to know him and his pet issues. Reminds me of my dad that way.

But it seems I'm a bit on the young side to relate to or even understand a lot of his pop culture references - anytime he starts with "remember that/when..." I'm usually at a loss. But I will definitely have to check out Macklin, SK, for that giant ankle bone next time I'm in my homeland!

[Keith · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dave Barry's syndicated column was always worth the price of the newspaper back in the '90's. He had exactly the kind of humor and writing style that appealed to me and that I aspired to be. Over the years, Barry has moved on to success in other areas, particularly novels. Out ofcuriosity,I went back and read this old collection of his columns. Unfortunately, although the humor is still there, much of the material is horribly dated. Even the title of the book is derivative of a '90's phenomenon. It may be that I've moved on, or that he has, but this collection just did not grab me as it once might have.

[Humza Khan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read and re-read this book constantly, and find Barry's humor a very distinct and special flavor. All of the things he talks about are so commonplace, but his spin on them all makes it so great. The keystone of his humor is his dramatic buildup using absurd ideas or notions to deal with a problem (for instance, put all hardcore drugs in modern packaging; if a totally sane and able-bodied person can't get an aspirin bottle open, then for a strung-out junkie it's impossible), acknowledging the severity of the topic and sobering up, and then hitting you with a solid one-liner to seal the deal. This book is phenomenal, but such can be said of pretty much all of Dave Barry's works.

[Berry Muhl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Light, funny, and nostalgic. This book was written about 20 years ago, and it takes me back to another year ending in 7. It was a very bad year. Years ending in 7 tend to be the worst. Every 10 years something catastrophically wrong happens to me, and I start longing for the good old days. Which took place in years not ending in 7.

[Hannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm a big Dave Barry fan, and this book did not disappoint! His nonsensical and at times self-deprecating sense of humor are really engaging, and the brevity of each chapter makes it easy for readers to dip in and out when they need a laugh. Great fun!

[Helen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a good book of assorted Dave Barry newspaper articles, some of them hilarious.

[Dryad · Rating 4 out of 5]

giggled the whole time. guy is a master of making me expect something and going another way, also callbacks

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

It has helped me understand about myself, my boyfriend, our relationship and improve things better.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dave Barry is always good for a laugh.

[Artelligence · Rating 4 out of 5]

The bazootyhead sure helped me park myself into laughter...go for it 👍😁

[Carolyn Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

A giggle on every page

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

More hilarious comments

[Ted Manahan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Still funny after all these years.

[Jordan · Rating 5 out of 5]

He's hilarious

[Erin Nudi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although outdated at this point still laugh-out-loud funny at many parts.