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Frogs Into Princes
NLP is an explicit and powerful model of human experience and communication. Using the principles of NLP it is possible to describe any human activity in a detailed way that allows you to make many deep and lasting changes quickly and easily. A few specific examples of things you can learn to accomplish are: (1) cure phobias and other unpleasant feeling responses in less than an hour, (2) help children and adults with "learning disabilities" (spelling and reading problems, etc.) overcome these limitations, often in less than an hour, (3) eliminate most unwanted habits - smoking, drinking, over-eating, insomnia, etc., in a few sessions, (4) make changes in the interactions of couples, families and organizations so that they function in ways that are more satisfying and productive, (5) cure many physical problems - not only most of those recognized as "psychosomatic" but also some that are not - in a few sessions. Actually, NLP can do much more than the kinds of remedial work mentioned above. The same principles can be used to study people who are unusually talented in any way, in order to determine the structure of that talent. That structure can then be quickly taught to others to give them the foundation for that same ability. This kind of intervention results in generative change, in which people learn to generate and create new talents and behaviors for themselves and others. A side effect of such generative change is that many of the problem behaviors that would otherwise have been targets for remedial change simply disappear. We are on the threshold of a quantum jump in human experience and capability.
194 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1979
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July 11, 2013
Overview
"Frogs Into Princes" three-part introduction to NLP (short for "Neuro Linguistic Programming"), a form of therapy conceived of in the 1970s. NLP is founded on the premise that "the kinds of problems that people have usually have nothing to do with content; they have to do with the structure, the form of how they organize their experience." (47) The central thesis of NLP, then, is that the best way to help others overcome emotional, behavior, and psychosomatic problems is to discern the processes by which they organize and access their thoughts and feeling and alter it.
Process matters
It's ironic, then, "Frogs Into Princes" fundamentally fails to convey it's central message due it's lazy structure and disorganized presentation. Yes, process matters - as in therapy, so in literature. "Frogs Into Princes" is essentially a transcript of a three-day seminar. It's as if the publisher came across a recording, transcribed it in its entirety, stamped on a nonsensical title, and called it a day. In the forward, the authors somewhat guiltily admit that this is "a record of a story that was told", and that they would like to "reassure the reader that the non-sequiturs, the surprising tangents, the unannounced shifts in content, mood or direction... had a compelling logic of their own in the original context." And perhaps they did. But here, they only serve to confuse and otherwise detract from what might have otherwise been an interesting message.
Onto content, then. The "book" is "organized" into three parts, each corresponding to one-day of the seminar. The subject matter of each day is somewhat disconnected, though the central theme of "content-free process therapy" is evident throughout. Let's examine each day in turn.
Day 1: sensory experience
Day one is all about sensory experience, and how to read the subtle cues that reveal the systematically different ways we each process, store, and access our feelings. The idea here is that different information is stored using different "representational systems" (visual, auditory, etc). The hope is that once you've determined which "representational system" a person uses, you can then employ this system to better communicate with them.
How, then, do people cue you in on how they're accessing information? Primarily with eye movements, it seems. If they look down and to their right, they're accessing kinesthetic feelings; up and to their left, visually constructed images; and so on. Besides having a sort of pop-psychological appeal, this idea has something awesome going for it: it's a testable hypothesis.
Unfortunately, the authors don't bother citing empirical evidence. Instead, they call out a person or two from the crowd, and give forceful, guided demonstrations: this is what you were thinking, Mary. Isn't it? (um... well, yea, I guess it is). I guess I didn't find these primed, sample-size-of-one experiments very convincing. In fact, I did my own sample-size-of-one experiment with an unsuspecting subject: the results were less than spectacular. Some cursory googling indicates that experimental evidence is weak. There might be a rough correlation between eye movements and representation system, but otherwise - nothing to see here.
Day 2: changing personal history and organization
Day two is a bit more concrete, from a therapeutic perspective: the author's start to talk about things to do in a therapeutic setting to help people resolve their issues. The authors start by noting that "the relationship between your experience and what actually occurred is tenuous at best... Made up memories can change you just as well as the arbitrary perceptions that you made up at the time about 'real world events'." (97) The idea is that you can change the way people cope with unpleasant memories by giving them new ways to process those memories. The methodology here can be summarized as content-free guided meditation, with a dash of pavlovian conditioning.
The therapist begins by asking the client to go back in time and relive the unpleasant experience. While this is happening, the therapist "anchors" the memory by say, touching the client in a certain way, or by taking on a certain tone. The same thing is done with a behavior or emotional tool the client wishes they'd had at the time. Finally, the therapist "binds" the emotional resource to the unpleasant memory, essentially telling the client: 'next time you feel or see this (the bad thing), feel this (the resource anchor)'.
Note that throughout, the therapist has no idea what the "bad thing" is, nor what the "good resource" is - he or she simply gives content-agnostic process instructions. This approach doesn't really resonate with me personally, but I can imagine it might work for some.
Day 3: finding new ways
Whereas day 2 is mostly concerned with overcoming phobias and coping with past memories, day 3 is all about modifying your current behavior. The main practice advocated here is called "reframing" - a "specific was of contacting the portion or part... of a person causing a certain behavior to occur." (138) The point of reframing is to "find out what the secondary gain of [and undesirable] behavior is," (138) with the ultimate goal of creating a new, alternative pattern to replace the old one.
The NLP therapist attempts to "speak privately with your unconscious mind" (152) in, as always, a content-free manner. The interaction goes something like this: "let's give the code name X to the pattern of behavior you presently have, which you would rather replace with something else more appropriate." (139) "Go inside for a moment and ask a question... Your job... is simply to attend to any changes you sense in your body sensations." (140) "The question I would like you to ask is 'will the part of me responsible for pattern X communicate with me in consciousness?'" (141) and so on. The therapist is simply a sort of consultant, instruct the client on how to proceed, without ever directly discussing the content of "pattern X."
Again, this circuitous, procedural way of going about things doesn't really appeal to me, but that's not to say it doesn't work. Indeed, this way of 'speaking with your unconscious mind' is not unheard of in therapy. It turns out to be foundation for an established therapeutic model called "Internal Family Systems," where consciousness is viewed as being composed of various "parts" or unconscious "sub-personalities." That said, this isn't a strong vote of confidence for "Neuro Linguistic Programming". Indeed, the primary criticism of IFS is that there is no empirical evidence to back it up - a concern that, it seems to me, is strikingly applicable here.
If it doesn't work, it's because you don't believe
So, we've discussed the content of NLP. The question now is: does it work? As I've now alluded to more than once, the authors don't offer much in the way of objective evidence. Support is provided in the form of stage demonstrations, wherein willing participants are forcefully pushed towards whatever outcome the instructors desire. As stated in the preface, this might have been compelling in the original context, but here, even if instructive, it's rather unconvincing.
Perhaps what irked me most about this book, however, is the extent to which the authors describe their theory as unfalsifiable. Some quotes are in order: "You will try it and it won't work. However, that's not a comment on the method. That's a comment about not being creative enough in the application of it, and not having enough sensory experience to accept all the cues that are there [emphasis mine].” (164) Elsewhere, we're told that there are only two ways to fail with this material. One is to be too rigid. The other is to not 'believe in it': "If there's a part of you that really doesn't believe that phobias can be done in three minutes, but you decide to try it anyway, that incongruence will show up in your non-verbal communication, and that will blow the whole thing" (178) The implication, of course, is that if NLP isn’t working, you're either not doing it right, or you simply 'don't believe.'
This is nothing more than the excuse of the ineffectual miracle worker, who defends himself by arguing that prayer always works. And when it doesn't, it's because you never really "believed" in the first place. This kind of reasoning drives me absolutely crazy. Outside the realm of pure mathematics, if a theory is unfalsifiable, it's absolutely uninteresting. This kind of solipsistic reasoning about abounds, and greatly detracts from the author’s credibility throughout.
Summary
"Frogs and Princes" is full of interesting, underdeveloped, and unsubstantiated ideas. The idea of content-free therapy is interesting and provocative, and I do hope it's been examined in greater detail elsewhere. I'm intrigued by the idea of representational systems, and I like the authors' constant reminders that "when you do something that doesn't work, do something else" (160) - even if complete flexibility detracts from the viability of NLP as a well-defined therapeutic model.
As a work of informative piece of nonfiction, however, the book fails. Thoughtful organization and carefully reasoned arguments be damned: this is hurried transcript of a three-day seminar, and it shows. The end result, even if interesting, is ultimately unconvincing. Maybe NLP works - or maybe, it works for you. In any event, this probably isn't the best place to find out.
"Frogs Into Princes" three-part introduction to NLP (short for "Neuro Linguistic Programming"), a form of therapy conceived of in the 1970s. NLP is founded on the premise that "the kinds of problems that people have usually have nothing to do with content; they have to do with the structure, the form of how they organize their experience." (47) The central thesis of NLP, then, is that the best way to help others overcome emotional, behavior, and psychosomatic problems is to discern the processes by which they organize and access their thoughts and feeling and alter it.
Process matters
It's ironic, then, "Frogs Into Princes" fundamentally fails to convey it's central message due it's lazy structure and disorganized presentation. Yes, process matters - as in therapy, so in literature. "Frogs Into Princes" is essentially a transcript of a three-day seminar. It's as if the publisher came across a recording, transcribed it in its entirety, stamped on a nonsensical title, and called it a day. In the forward, the authors somewhat guiltily admit that this is "a record of a story that was told", and that they would like to "reassure the reader that the non-sequiturs, the surprising tangents, the unannounced shifts in content, mood or direction... had a compelling logic of their own in the original context." And perhaps they did. But here, they only serve to confuse and otherwise detract from what might have otherwise been an interesting message.
Onto content, then. The "book" is "organized" into three parts, each corresponding to one-day of the seminar. The subject matter of each day is somewhat disconnected, though the central theme of "content-free process therapy" is evident throughout. Let's examine each day in turn.
Day 1: sensory experience
Day one is all about sensory experience, and how to read the subtle cues that reveal the systematically different ways we each process, store, and access our feelings. The idea here is that different information is stored using different "representational systems" (visual, auditory, etc). The hope is that once you've determined which "representational system" a person uses, you can then employ this system to better communicate with them.
How, then, do people cue you in on how they're accessing information? Primarily with eye movements, it seems. If they look down and to their right, they're accessing kinesthetic feelings; up and to their left, visually constructed images; and so on. Besides having a sort of pop-psychological appeal, this idea has something awesome going for it: it's a testable hypothesis.
Unfortunately, the authors don't bother citing empirical evidence. Instead, they call out a person or two from the crowd, and give forceful, guided demonstrations: this is what you were thinking, Mary. Isn't it? (um... well, yea, I guess it is). I guess I didn't find these primed, sample-size-of-one experiments very convincing. In fact, I did my own sample-size-of-one experiment with an unsuspecting subject: the results were less than spectacular. Some cursory googling indicates that experimental evidence is weak. There might be a rough correlation between eye movements and representation system, but otherwise - nothing to see here.
Day 2: changing personal history and organization
Day two is a bit more concrete, from a therapeutic perspective: the author's start to talk about things to do in a therapeutic setting to help people resolve their issues. The authors start by noting that "the relationship between your experience and what actually occurred is tenuous at best... Made up memories can change you just as well as the arbitrary perceptions that you made up at the time about 'real world events'." (97) The idea is that you can change the way people cope with unpleasant memories by giving them new ways to process those memories. The methodology here can be summarized as content-free guided meditation, with a dash of pavlovian conditioning.
The therapist begins by asking the client to go back in time and relive the unpleasant experience. While this is happening, the therapist "anchors" the memory by say, touching the client in a certain way, or by taking on a certain tone. The same thing is done with a behavior or emotional tool the client wishes they'd had at the time. Finally, the therapist "binds" the emotional resource to the unpleasant memory, essentially telling the client: 'next time you feel or see this (the bad thing), feel this (the resource anchor)'.
Note that throughout, the therapist has no idea what the "bad thing" is, nor what the "good resource" is - he or she simply gives content-agnostic process instructions. This approach doesn't really resonate with me personally, but I can imagine it might work for some.
Day 3: finding new ways
Whereas day 2 is mostly concerned with overcoming phobias and coping with past memories, day 3 is all about modifying your current behavior. The main practice advocated here is called "reframing" - a "specific was of contacting the portion or part... of a person causing a certain behavior to occur." (138) The point of reframing is to "find out what the secondary gain of [and undesirable] behavior is," (138) with the ultimate goal of creating a new, alternative pattern to replace the old one.
The NLP therapist attempts to "speak privately with your unconscious mind" (152) in, as always, a content-free manner. The interaction goes something like this: "let's give the code name X to the pattern of behavior you presently have, which you would rather replace with something else more appropriate." (139) "Go inside for a moment and ask a question... Your job... is simply to attend to any changes you sense in your body sensations." (140) "The question I would like you to ask is 'will the part of me responsible for pattern X communicate with me in consciousness?'" (141) and so on. The therapist is simply a sort of consultant, instruct the client on how to proceed, without ever directly discussing the content of "pattern X."
Again, this circuitous, procedural way of going about things doesn't really appeal to me, but that's not to say it doesn't work. Indeed, this way of 'speaking with your unconscious mind' is not unheard of in therapy. It turns out to be foundation for an established therapeutic model called "Internal Family Systems," where consciousness is viewed as being composed of various "parts" or unconscious "sub-personalities." That said, this isn't a strong vote of confidence for "Neuro Linguistic Programming". Indeed, the primary criticism of IFS is that there is no empirical evidence to back it up - a concern that, it seems to me, is strikingly applicable here.
If it doesn't work, it's because you don't believe
So, we've discussed the content of NLP. The question now is: does it work? As I've now alluded to more than once, the authors don't offer much in the way of objective evidence. Support is provided in the form of stage demonstrations, wherein willing participants are forcefully pushed towards whatever outcome the instructors desire. As stated in the preface, this might have been compelling in the original context, but here, even if instructive, it's rather unconvincing.
Perhaps what irked me most about this book, however, is the extent to which the authors describe their theory as unfalsifiable. Some quotes are in order: "You will try it and it won't work. However, that's not a comment on the method. That's a comment about not being creative enough in the application of it, and not having enough sensory experience to accept all the cues that are there [emphasis mine].” (164) Elsewhere, we're told that there are only two ways to fail with this material. One is to be too rigid. The other is to not 'believe in it': "If there's a part of you that really doesn't believe that phobias can be done in three minutes, but you decide to try it anyway, that incongruence will show up in your non-verbal communication, and that will blow the whole thing" (178) The implication, of course, is that if NLP isn’t working, you're either not doing it right, or you simply 'don't believe.'
This is nothing more than the excuse of the ineffectual miracle worker, who defends himself by arguing that prayer always works. And when it doesn't, it's because you never really "believed" in the first place. This kind of reasoning drives me absolutely crazy. Outside the realm of pure mathematics, if a theory is unfalsifiable, it's absolutely uninteresting. This kind of solipsistic reasoning about abounds, and greatly detracts from the author’s credibility throughout.
Summary
"Frogs and Princes" is full of interesting, underdeveloped, and unsubstantiated ideas. The idea of content-free therapy is interesting and provocative, and I do hope it's been examined in greater detail elsewhere. I'm intrigued by the idea of representational systems, and I like the authors' constant reminders that "when you do something that doesn't work, do something else" (160) - even if complete flexibility detracts from the viability of NLP as a well-defined therapeutic model.
As a work of informative piece of nonfiction, however, the book fails. Thoughtful organization and carefully reasoned arguments be damned: this is hurried transcript of a three-day seminar, and it shows. The end result, even if interesting, is ultimately unconvincing. Maybe NLP works - or maybe, it works for you. In any event, this probably isn't the best place to find out.
Read
March 31, 2008I have never been able to tell if this book is completely unintelligible or really profound.
January 26, 2008
I truly enjoyed this book. It was written in a seminar format from a workshop he presented. Some people find this style of writing difficult to follow but personally I enjoy it. For anyone seeking knowledge about NLP for Alternative & Cognitive Behavioral therapies, this is a great place to start (although would be my 'second' recommendation with "The Heart of the Mind" by Connirae Andreas being my first).
Just one of Many of Bandler's (and Grinder's) older Gems this book was a real inspiration for me when I was first learning about NLP. At the time I read every book I could find that they had written together and not one of them disappointed on content.
NOTE: The following part of this review will be repeated from other NLP Reviews I post by the same author.
I am probably a little partial because I truly appreciate the author of this book and what he had done on so many levels. There are so many ways our culture today has been 'inspired' and/or changed by his work yet so few people even know who he is in our country. Most marketing giants, political leaders, and sales industries use his techniques in everyday. But some of the most important areas his work has touched is still just being discovered in the cognitive behavior and alternative health industry. These techniques are so universal I see them repeated in many books, seminars, workshops etc. Yet there are so few that actually understand where the information originated from.
Just one of Many of Bandler's (and Grinder's) older Gems this book was a real inspiration for me when I was first learning about NLP. At the time I read every book I could find that they had written together and not one of them disappointed on content.
NOTE: The following part of this review will be repeated from other NLP Reviews I post by the same author.
I am probably a little partial because I truly appreciate the author of this book and what he had done on so many levels. There are so many ways our culture today has been 'inspired' and/or changed by his work yet so few people even know who he is in our country. Most marketing giants, political leaders, and sales industries use his techniques in everyday. But some of the most important areas his work has touched is still just being discovered in the cognitive behavior and alternative health industry. These techniques are so universal I see them repeated in many books, seminars, workshops etc. Yet there are so few that actually understand where the information originated from.
March 23, 2009
Take with a boulder of salt.
February 18, 2013
This is a great intro into classic NLP. Many of today's books have been distorted with the authors personal views. This gets back to basics.
Amazing how such subtle uses of language can make such difference to the results you get.
Amazing how such subtle uses of language can make such difference to the results you get.
March 26, 2015
Bandler and Grinder are the Fathers of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and they make no mistake about demystifying the whole science of excellence and human achievement.
They seem to be intent on producing students who are not totally dependent on them, but those who can be flexible with their behaviour (not textbook addicts) as they work with people to achieve their dreams.
That makes sense to me when I think of how they came about the science of modelling people who excel at their art or science, such as Milton Erickson & Virginia Satir. These were people who just explore more options than others who were rigidly following the existing traditions and patterns in the fields of psychotherapy & psychology.
From this perspective, it makes it difficult for me to be lost on the connection between frogs and princes. While some are dutifully croaking archaic thoughts that has been long overdue for an overhaul, a select few have arisen to the challenge of the times we are in by injecting new thinking into old wisdom and those are the Princes of today's Human Achievement world.
My guess, therefore, is readers can either remain "frogs" by simply intensifying modalities that are losing efficiency and relevance or learn to vary their behaviours in helping their clients become better people and become "princes".
They seem to be intent on producing students who are not totally dependent on them, but those who can be flexible with their behaviour (not textbook addicts) as they work with people to achieve their dreams.
That makes sense to me when I think of how they came about the science of modelling people who excel at their art or science, such as Milton Erickson & Virginia Satir. These were people who just explore more options than others who were rigidly following the existing traditions and patterns in the fields of psychotherapy & psychology.
From this perspective, it makes it difficult for me to be lost on the connection between frogs and princes. While some are dutifully croaking archaic thoughts that has been long overdue for an overhaul, a select few have arisen to the challenge of the times we are in by injecting new thinking into old wisdom and those are the Princes of today's Human Achievement world.
My guess, therefore, is readers can either remain "frogs" by simply intensifying modalities that are losing efficiency and relevance or learn to vary their behaviours in helping their clients become better people and become "princes".
June 26, 2012
NLP is an approach to communication, personal development, and psychotherapy.
There is a difference between what we experience and how we represent it. Our words connect to our experiences. Someone else's words connect to their experiences. The word may be the same but the experience won't be.
As human beings, we input output and process information about the territory around us. Our five sensory systems code this information. Our five senses (visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory and gustatory) are the language of our brain.
The NLP term for these five sensory systems is Representational Systems. When people communicate, they translate their experience into words. Language is a representation of our sensory representations, a map of another map. Words have no built in meaning. Words only have meaning in that they trigger sensory representations in a speaker or listener.
Frogs Into Princes is a transcript from a live seminar conducted by the Bandler and Grinder. Because the seminar was for therapists, most of the techniques’ applications are discussed in a therapist-patient scenario. Therapists and psychologists will find the applications of the techniques extremely useful for improving therapeutic communication with patients.
The book is divided into three main sections, which were presented on three separate days at the seminar:
1.Sensory Experience: Representational Systems and Accessing Cues
2.Changing Personal History and Organization: Anchoring
3.Finding New Ways: Reframing
There is a difference between what we experience and how we represent it. Our words connect to our experiences. Someone else's words connect to their experiences. The word may be the same but the experience won't be.
As human beings, we input output and process information about the territory around us. Our five sensory systems code this information. Our five senses (visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory and gustatory) are the language of our brain.
The NLP term for these five sensory systems is Representational Systems. When people communicate, they translate their experience into words. Language is a representation of our sensory representations, a map of another map. Words have no built in meaning. Words only have meaning in that they trigger sensory representations in a speaker or listener.
Frogs Into Princes is a transcript from a live seminar conducted by the Bandler and Grinder. Because the seminar was for therapists, most of the techniques’ applications are discussed in a therapist-patient scenario. Therapists and psychologists will find the applications of the techniques extremely useful for improving therapeutic communication with patients.
The book is divided into three main sections, which were presented on three separate days at the seminar:
1.Sensory Experience: Representational Systems and Accessing Cues
2.Changing Personal History and Organization: Anchoring
3.Finding New Ways: Reframing
September 18, 2008
I couldn't finish it, I tried and tried but it was so dry and I finally set it down.
April 29, 2014
Very good.
Read
October 23, 2014Too heavy ... Almost not possible to read and not being in trance ...
Read
June 24, 2025Un libro base de la rama de la comunicación moderna llamada PNL (Programación Neurolingüística). Una mezcla entre desarrollo personal, herramientas de comunicación y el uso de los estados hipnóticos para lograr ventaja sobre uno mismo.
Read
August 27, 2019Great book. Basic instructions on NLP, transcript of a seminar.
Rapport, pacing and reframing.
By creating rapport, I can establish a congruent communication channel with the unconscious, being the biggest chunk of the iceberg of mental processing. The unconscious regulates all the bodily functions for survival, choice, pain, pleasure, etc; making direct contact with the most powerful part of a person, I can create change / influence in the most effective manner.
There are many ways to create rapport: matching (pacing) the breath of the person, matching the predicates they use (visual, auditory, kinesthetic), blinking etc.. basically, matching the unconscious. The eyes show how a person process information, and in which ways they are most dominant: UP (left or right) = Visual / SIDES (left or right) = Auditory / DOWN (left or right) = Kinesthetic. These are basic patterns, and can be different from person to person. I will know for sure by asking the right questions and observing attentively how they 'go inside' and access the information to receive an answer.
Refraiming can be done by being observant of the process it takes for a person to access the information, and anchoring a certain state to a cue, that can be visual, auditory or kinesthetic. For example, I can ask a person if they have ever made a right decision in their life, right when they access that information I observe how they do it (Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic), and I will know how they make a 'right decision' in their experience; I can 'anchor' that feeling by saying something, inputting an image (mental or external) or by touch, and every time I bring that anchor, this person will access the same 'feeling' of 'right decision'.
" You will always get answers to your questions insofar as you have the sensory apparatus to notice the responses. And rarely will the verbal or conscious part of the response be relevant."
"You need only three things to be an absolutely exquisite communicator. We have found that there are three major patterns in the behavior of every therapeutic wizard we'Ve talked to—and executives, and salespeople. The first one is to know what outcome you want. The second is that you need flexibility in your behavior. You need to be able to generate lots and lots of different behaviors to find out what responses you get. The third is you need to have enough sensory experience to notice when you get the responses that you want.If you have those three abilities, then you can just alter your behavior
until you get the responses that you want."
"The meaning of your communication is the response that you get. If you can notice that you are not getting what you want, change what you're doing. But in order to notice that, you have to clearly distinguish between what you are getting from the outside, and how you are interpreting that material in a complex manner at the unconscious level, contributing to it by your own internal state"
"In other words, you need a good unconscious systematic repertoire of patterns for each choice point that you have that's going to come up repetitively in your work: How do I establish rapport with this other human being? How do I respond in a situation in which they don't have information consciously and verbally to respond to my question? How do I respond to incongruity? "
"If what you are doing is not working, change it. Do anything else."
"Pacing or mirroring. To the extent that you can match another person's behavior, both verbally and non-verbally, you will be pacing their experience. Mirroring is the essence of what most people
call rapport, and there are as many dimensions to it as your sensory experience can discriminate. You can mirror the other person's predicates and syntax, body posture, breathing, voice tone and tempo, facial expression, eye blinks, etc.
There are two kinds of non-verbal pacing. One is direct mirroring. An example is when I breathe at the same rate and depth that you breathe. Even though you're not conscious of that, it will have a profound impact upon you. Another way to do non-verbal pacing is to substitute one non-verbal channel for another. We call that "cross-over mirroring." There are two kinds of cross-over mirroring. One is to cross over in the same channel. I can use my hand movement to pace your breathing movement—the rise and fall of your chest. Even though the movement of my hand is very subtle, it still has the same effect. It's not as dramatic as direct mirroring, but it's very powerful. That is using a different aspect of the same channel: kinesthetic movement"
"Reframing Outline
••»
(1) Identify the pattern (X) to be changed.
(2) Establish communication with the part responsible for the
pattern.
(a) "Will the part of me that runs pattern X communicate with
me in consciousness?"
(b) Establish the "yes-no" meaning of the signal.
(3) Distinguish between the behavior, pattern X, and the intention
of the part that is responsible for the behavior.
(a) "Would you be willing to let me know in consciousness what
you are trying to do for me by pattern X?"
(b) If you get a "yes" response, ask the part to go ahead and
communicate its intention.
(c) Is that intention acceptable to conscidusness?
(4) Create new alternative behaviors to satisfy the intention. At the
unconscious level the part that runs pattern X communicates
its intention to the creative part, and selects from the alternatives
that the creative part generates. Each time it selects an alternative
it gives the "yes" signal.
(5) Ask the part "Are you willingto take responsibility for generating
the three new alternatives in the appropriate context?"
(6) Ecological check. "Is there any other part of me that objects to
the three new alternatives?" If there is a "yes" response, recycle
to step (2) above."
"One of the things that I think distinguishes a really exquisite communicator from one who is not, is to be precise about your use of language: use language in a way that gets you what you want. People who are sloppy with language get sloppy responses."
Rapport, pacing and reframing.
By creating rapport, I can establish a congruent communication channel with the unconscious, being the biggest chunk of the iceberg of mental processing. The unconscious regulates all the bodily functions for survival, choice, pain, pleasure, etc; making direct contact with the most powerful part of a person, I can create change / influence in the most effective manner.
There are many ways to create rapport: matching (pacing) the breath of the person, matching the predicates they use (visual, auditory, kinesthetic), blinking etc.. basically, matching the unconscious. The eyes show how a person process information, and in which ways they are most dominant: UP (left or right) = Visual / SIDES (left or right) = Auditory / DOWN (left or right) = Kinesthetic. These are basic patterns, and can be different from person to person. I will know for sure by asking the right questions and observing attentively how they 'go inside' and access the information to receive an answer.
Refraiming can be done by being observant of the process it takes for a person to access the information, and anchoring a certain state to a cue, that can be visual, auditory or kinesthetic. For example, I can ask a person if they have ever made a right decision in their life, right when they access that information I observe how they do it (Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic), and I will know how they make a 'right decision' in their experience; I can 'anchor' that feeling by saying something, inputting an image (mental or external) or by touch, and every time I bring that anchor, this person will access the same 'feeling' of 'right decision'.
" You will always get answers to your questions insofar as you have the sensory apparatus to notice the responses. And rarely will the verbal or conscious part of the response be relevant."
"You need only three things to be an absolutely exquisite communicator. We have found that there are three major patterns in the behavior of every therapeutic wizard we'Ve talked to—and executives, and salespeople. The first one is to know what outcome you want. The second is that you need flexibility in your behavior. You need to be able to generate lots and lots of different behaviors to find out what responses you get. The third is you need to have enough sensory experience to notice when you get the responses that you want.If you have those three abilities, then you can just alter your behavior
until you get the responses that you want."
"The meaning of your communication is the response that you get. If you can notice that you are not getting what you want, change what you're doing. But in order to notice that, you have to clearly distinguish between what you are getting from the outside, and how you are interpreting that material in a complex manner at the unconscious level, contributing to it by your own internal state"
"In other words, you need a good unconscious systematic repertoire of patterns for each choice point that you have that's going to come up repetitively in your work: How do I establish rapport with this other human being? How do I respond in a situation in which they don't have information consciously and verbally to respond to my question? How do I respond to incongruity? "
"If what you are doing is not working, change it. Do anything else."
"Pacing or mirroring. To the extent that you can match another person's behavior, both verbally and non-verbally, you will be pacing their experience. Mirroring is the essence of what most people
call rapport, and there are as many dimensions to it as your sensory experience can discriminate. You can mirror the other person's predicates and syntax, body posture, breathing, voice tone and tempo, facial expression, eye blinks, etc.
There are two kinds of non-verbal pacing. One is direct mirroring. An example is when I breathe at the same rate and depth that you breathe. Even though you're not conscious of that, it will have a profound impact upon you. Another way to do non-verbal pacing is to substitute one non-verbal channel for another. We call that "cross-over mirroring." There are two kinds of cross-over mirroring. One is to cross over in the same channel. I can use my hand movement to pace your breathing movement—the rise and fall of your chest. Even though the movement of my hand is very subtle, it still has the same effect. It's not as dramatic as direct mirroring, but it's very powerful. That is using a different aspect of the same channel: kinesthetic movement"
"Reframing Outline
••»
(1) Identify the pattern (X) to be changed.
(2) Establish communication with the part responsible for the
pattern.
(a) "Will the part of me that runs pattern X communicate with
me in consciousness?"
(b) Establish the "yes-no" meaning of the signal.
(3) Distinguish between the behavior, pattern X, and the intention
of the part that is responsible for the behavior.
(a) "Would you be willing to let me know in consciousness what
you are trying to do for me by pattern X?"
(b) If you get a "yes" response, ask the part to go ahead and
communicate its intention.
(c) Is that intention acceptable to conscidusness?
(4) Create new alternative behaviors to satisfy the intention. At the
unconscious level the part that runs pattern X communicates
its intention to the creative part, and selects from the alternatives
that the creative part generates. Each time it selects an alternative
it gives the "yes" signal.
(5) Ask the part "Are you willingto take responsibility for generating
the three new alternatives in the appropriate context?"
(6) Ecological check. "Is there any other part of me that objects to
the three new alternatives?" If there is a "yes" response, recycle
to step (2) above."
"One of the things that I think distinguishes a really exquisite communicator from one who is not, is to be precise about your use of language: use language in a way that gets you what you want. People who are sloppy with language get sloppy responses."
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 3, 2015
In spite of a lot of BS, the authors did make a person think. So my time was not wholly wasted. I only read 1/3 of the book. It's tedious and after doing some research, I find out why I'm turned off by the way the author's present themselves.
They are salesmen of a pseudo-science. NLP is has only thin crust of science to it. It pretty much starts and ends with the Neuro and Linguistic. No substance at all to the "theory".
Science deniers tend to eat this stuff up though. It made two men rich, if the Wikipedia facts regarding Bandler and Grinder are true, they in the end could not implement their own theories in their personal relationship with each other.
Time would be highly prized as a test of many things. Time has told all in the case of Frogs Into Princes. It's questionable whether the frogs evolved at all. The croaking is telling!
They are salesmen of a pseudo-science. NLP is has only thin crust of science to it. It pretty much starts and ends with the Neuro and Linguistic. No substance at all to the "theory".
Science deniers tend to eat this stuff up though. It made two men rich, if the Wikipedia facts regarding Bandler and Grinder are true, they in the end could not implement their own theories in their personal relationship with each other.
Time would be highly prized as a test of many things. Time has told all in the case of Frogs Into Princes. It's questionable whether the frogs evolved at all. The croaking is telling!
April 18, 2010
Like several books by Richard Bandler, this is actually a transcript of a three-day seminar. At this point I want to give up on the books and book a seminar instead.
Despite that, I was able to glean a lot of great information out of "Frogs into Princes." Most of it dealt with non-verbal communication, in contrast to "Structure of Magic" and other NLP texts. Not being able to see the demonstrations was a hindrance, but I still learned enough for the book to be worthwhile and to help me see where I need to go next.
Despite that, I was able to glean a lot of great information out of "Frogs into Princes." Most of it dealt with non-verbal communication, in contrast to "Structure of Magic" and other NLP texts. Not being able to see the demonstrations was a hindrance, but I still learned enough for the book to be worthwhile and to help me see where I need to go next.
April 15, 2013
Interesting book on how to consciously influence others to agree with you or support your recommandations.
We are all influenced inconcsciouly by myriads of body language cues and these can be used to your advantage.
You can also detect in others, through their body language, and particularly their eyes mouvement, wheter or not they tell the truth or are constructing a story.
We are all influenced inconcsciouly by myriads of body language cues and these can be used to your advantage.
You can also detect in others, through their body language, and particularly their eyes mouvement, wheter or not they tell the truth or are constructing a story.
March 22, 2016
Over rated.
August 6, 2016
A transcription of one of Bandler and Grinder's seminars, and The introduction for how and why NLP got started. It's a tool for improving lives.
December 30, 2016
Imagine an Unfunny George Carlin, He did have a few good points but they were far and few between. I would recommend Anthony Robbins or Brian Tracey, for a better experience.
July 4, 2019
An altogether rewarding book that, by the end, builds the bridge from therapy to coaching, and the good things that bridge has wrought.
October 12, 2019
not worth an in depth review
May 23, 2019
This is a dense book introducing NLP via the medium of a series of workshops that the authors held during the 1970s when they perfected their techniques of neuro linguistic programming, NLP. For a book of 194 pages, it is a dense read with small font and compacted lines.
The format is: an explanation of a technique, an example using a member of the audience, an exercise for participants (and readers) and a summary of the techniques. Therefore, there is quite a bit of repetition. What would have made the reading easier was numbering of the points and tables, as in The Ultimate Introduction To NLP, a book of the 2010s. At one point, the authors, famous pioneers in their field, argue about whether their techniques are hypnosis or not, a presage to their going their separate ways perhaps!
I stopped and went back to the book a few times. It is a classic of the field. However, for me it is an okay read, not an exhilarating read, where the techniques of NLP could have been explained so it was an easier read.
The format is: an explanation of a technique, an example using a member of the audience, an exercise for participants (and readers) and a summary of the techniques. Therefore, there is quite a bit of repetition. What would have made the reading easier was numbering of the points and tables, as in The Ultimate Introduction To NLP, a book of the 2010s. At one point, the authors, famous pioneers in their field, argue about whether their techniques are hypnosis or not, a presage to their going their separate ways perhaps!
I stopped and went back to the book a few times. It is a classic of the field. However, for me it is an okay read, not an exhilarating read, where the techniques of NLP could have been explained so it was an easier read.
January 1, 2025
Un libro con una temática especial, nos habla del poder de la hipnosis, la psicoterapia, etc. En resumen, que todo esta en tu propia mente, vos mismo tenés el poder de cambiar decisiones y conductas, todo está en tu propia mente, vos podes dar vuelta tu sistema.
Esta introducción que les hice es lo que en gran parte trata este libro y que en resumen es una especie de diario de lo que sucedió en una convención con terapeutas. Los maestros de ceremonias durante tres días les enseñaron técnicas para que puedan entrar en la mente de los pacientes y puedan hacer evolucionar para mejor sus cuadros, llegando a sanar como también sirviéndo de ayuda para su profesión. Todo esto de movida me pareció una auténtica fantochada pero había varios momentos en los que terminaba brindándoles la razón.
Si bien no les recomiendo la lectura, si les digo que quienes se acerquen a ella la tomen con pinzas.
Esta introducción que les hice es lo que en gran parte trata este libro y que en resumen es una especie de diario de lo que sucedió en una convención con terapeutas. Los maestros de ceremonias durante tres días les enseñaron técnicas para que puedan entrar en la mente de los pacientes y puedan hacer evolucionar para mejor sus cuadros, llegando a sanar como también sirviéndo de ayuda para su profesión. Todo esto de movida me pareció una auténtica fantochada pero había varios momentos en los que terminaba brindándoles la razón.
Si bien no les recomiendo la lectura, si les digo que quienes se acerquen a ella la tomen con pinzas.
December 14, 2019
The book at the early era of NLP. It is quite hard to read as the content has not well organized. As the same of other book in the same era, this book is kind of transcript of the training.
Some important questions captured in the book as well but you will not easy to find it as the book has only text without any symbolic.
If you want to grab some conversation and how therapist response to the client, and more therapy demonstration, this might be a book that you looking for. If you new to the NLP, this book totally not.
Some important questions captured in the book as well but you will not easy to find it as the book has only text without any symbolic.
If you want to grab some conversation and how therapist response to the client, and more therapy demonstration, this might be a book that you looking for. If you new to the NLP, this book totally not.
April 30, 2020
Though I didn’t really like the fact the whole book is literally a transcription of a workshop, the content is very interesting.
Starting from a very basic premise: everything we do/feel/think stems from words (and the concepts they embody), if we change the meaning of those words (or the concepts they elicit), we’re able to change behaviours/thoughts/attitudes. Made me curious to read more on NLP.
Starting from a very basic premise: everything we do/feel/think stems from words (and the concepts they embody), if we change the meaning of those words (or the concepts they elicit), we’re able to change behaviours/thoughts/attitudes. Made me curious to read more on NLP.
September 26, 2024
I have to re-read this book definitely. It is too technical and the book is an excerpt from a workshop. So, there are various experiments that are described in this book which needs visual aid to understand. It becomes very difficult for aa reader to understand and comprehend them just by reading the book. A reader cannot understand just by reading it once. So, without understanding the reader feels completely in the paragraphs.
The book is definitely very technical and important book.
The book is definitely very technical and important book.
September 8, 2020
A very stimulating read that had me thinking in new ways about things. The communication in this book seems to be mostly indirect and allegorical. After reading it I'm very curious to discover how much I will learn over time as I process the material in my life. I'm certainly intrigued to read more of Bandler and Grinder and follow some of the other threads introduced to me in these pages.
November 25, 2020
Un libro mas bien interesante aunque su lectura pued hacerse dura si no se tienen algunos conocimientos básicos sobre PNL.
En esta charla con los oyentes son interesantes las historias relatadas de las experiencias de J.Grinder y R.Bandler, además de todas las técnicas explicadas durante la conferencia.
En esta charla con los oyentes son interesantes las historias relatadas de las experiencias de J.Grinder y R.Bandler, además de todas las técnicas explicadas durante la conferencia.
August 22, 2021
Provides an understanding of what are the challenges and tools of therapy professionals. Interesting live examples of therapy. The content is too technical for me / somewhat less relevant to my interests. Some of the content are no longer considered as scientifically valid (e.g., VAKOG). The book is dry, as it is a direct transcript of a 3-days seminar.
July 2, 2017
A great book, not sure if its the right one for starting off with NLP since it was my first. Will need to read again if I am to apply the techniques discussed in the book but it gave me a fairly good idea regarding NLP
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September 17, 2019Eh. It's interesting and clever, but it's also a cheaply formatted lecture series consisting of 70 page blocks of mostly uninterrupted text which hops almost randomly from idea to idea. I don't see this book being truly useful, even if it has some neat ideas in it. Not worth tracking down
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