This is a portion of the larger work, The Approximate Discovering the Strategies That Work with Your Teenager. This edition contains the book’s introduction, the entirety of Chapter 3, endnotes for the chapter, index, permissions, and the “about the author” sections. Chapter 3 brings us into the heart of the matter for American teens—the subject of Identity Development, Relationships, and Status. While there are many more studies and writings on adolescent identity development since and in addition to Erik Erikson, it’s still all about identity. Teens are always trying to find out who they are (and who they are not) and who they want to be in the future. Figuring out “who you are” is largely about figuring out what you’re feeling, why you’re feeling that, and what to do about it. In my opinion this is the most important skill for adolescents to develop. This chapter helps you understand the context in which your teen is developing a sense of his or her own identity in relation to others and larger place in the world, and how deeply identity is shaped in the context of digital mass media and concern about status.
Michael Y. Simon, LMFT is the author of The Approximate Parent: Discovering the Strategies That Work with Your Teenager. He is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice in Oakland, California. Michael is a sought-after local and national speaker on the subjects of teens and families and has worked with thousands of children, youth and families since 1990. He served for many years as a high school counselor, ran or developed programs that directly served children from birth to 18 and taught psychology, philosophy and religious studies at several American universities.
Michael is also the founder of Practical Help for Parents —a support organization for parents, educators and mental health professionals who work daily in support of adolescents. Most importantly, he’s the proud parent of a sweet, kind, 26 year-old man who, as a teenager, couldn’t be bribed to write a paragraph, and as an adult, would like nothing more than to write for a living. How’s that for neural plasticity?