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Invisible Tears: The Abuse, The Rebellion, The Survival, Despite All Odds
At a time when six-year-old Abbie needs love and security, her mother goes to the hospital and never returns. Still distraught, Abbie is passed to whoever will have her. Her new step mother subjects her to unimaginable physical, sexual and psychological torture and delivers her to local paedophiles in the entertainment business. During her single minded pursuit of fame Abbie's step mother stops at nothing, beating and prostituting her own children. This is the story of Abbie's struggle to survive, the grim details of child abuse of the worst kind all told from the perspective of a little girl. As a teenager Abbie is uncontrollable. A Modette during the 80's revival, she finds a love of scooters, rebellion and gang life on the wild side. Dulling her pain with alcohol, drugs and promiscuity at a very young age, Abbie loses control and becomes well known to the local police. Not one person can get through to her because she has no fear, no self respect, no morals or self worth. With nothing to lose, she throws herself into one battle after another, blood and guts brawling between the skin heads and the mods on the streets of London. Her family eventually disowns her realizing they are unable to help. Abbie finds herself in the care of the Court until she is abandoned by children's homes and Social Services too. Alone, penniless and pregnant at the age of 16. Haunted by the secrets of her unspeakable past. Will anyone ever see her invisible tears?
197 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 15, 2010
104 people are currently reading
429 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews
April 23, 2011
This is one of those books that is extremely hard to read, especially if you've ever lived through any type of abuse yourself. When I first started reading it, I went into it completely oblivious to what the story was about, and then I had to back out and re-read the write up to realize what I was reading was, in fact, a true story. That, immediately, changed my perspective on reading this book. You see, if this had been fiction, I probably would have stopped reading after about the first tenth. It's just that hard to read through the impacting scenes that take place in this young girl's young life. But once I realized this was supposed to be a true story, I forced myself to keep going because if this really happened to someone, she at least deserved having someone try to understand it.
And I'm glad I did because the rest of the book actually makes the journey worth it. To be honest, the first 1/3 of the book is really hard to read through. But once you hit the 35 percent mark (the Kindle is really cool for telling you exactly that), the story changes, and you start to experience a different kind of a tale, one that's no longer about abuse, but one that tells the struggle of a young girl becoming a woman who is attempting to find herself as a result of the previous abuse. What you discover is that she spends the rest of her life trying to find some sense of acceptance, whether it be acceptance from others, or just a solitary acceptance of other people and some semblance of belonging in a world that appears mean and cruel, and sometimes oblivious to the struggles of others.
I will admit there were a couple of points where I almost didn't finish it, but then perservered, a lot like Abbie pushes forward through the travails that life continues to throw at her, and in the end it really was all worth it. Someone who reads up to that first part of the book and then stops would probably be impacted as well, almost needing to read the rest of this book to get the closure that seems desired and needed through this book.
Story: 4 stars
The narrative throughout was well worth reading, and the story crafted was one that leaves an impression. It's very hard to do that with a non-fiction narrative, and there were times where I found myself comparing events with Dave Pelzer's "A Child Called It" to the point of outrageousness. The beginning of this book is really hard to read, as it goes from child abuse to child rape to continuous child exploitation, almost to where it felt like the events were trying to outshock previous events. But then you're left realizing this is a true story, so you can only feel compassion, and when the story is complete, feel anger that there are those out there who will go unpunished for the unspeakable acts they have carried out against innocent victims who have no way of ever striking back. The epilogue alone is poignant and casts its own shadows of despair on the depravity of humanity.
Voice: 3 1/2 stars
Although non-fiction, the author struggles to maintain a singular voice throughout the tale, as she sometimes juxtaposes the tale from fluidity to a sense that some prose the tale contains is still difficult to convey, making it disjointed at times. But overall, it carries forward very well and you get the sense of a very young girl's memories being relived through the prism of someone decades after the events.
Mechanics: 3 stars
The book could have used an additional edit. There are numerous spelling errors, "theres" instead of "their's", and other mechanical errors throughout. But overall, it holds up well. There were also a number of port problems from the original manuscript to the Kindle version where the justifcation of the text was off, but as someone who has worked with porting to a Kindle myself, I completely understand that problem as there are times where it happens, and no matter what you do, it just can't be fixed.
Cover: 4 stars
There are any number of different kinds of covers that could have been used to convey this story; the one chosen seems to do a pretty solid job. Having seen some really outrageous covers for some books on Kindle, it's nice to see a simple, telling piece of artwork that doesn't go out of its way to overdue an appeal to attention.
Summary: I would recommend others to read this book, keeping in mind that the first 1/3 is VERY difficult to get through.
And I'm glad I did because the rest of the book actually makes the journey worth it. To be honest, the first 1/3 of the book is really hard to read through. But once you hit the 35 percent mark (the Kindle is really cool for telling you exactly that), the story changes, and you start to experience a different kind of a tale, one that's no longer about abuse, but one that tells the struggle of a young girl becoming a woman who is attempting to find herself as a result of the previous abuse. What you discover is that she spends the rest of her life trying to find some sense of acceptance, whether it be acceptance from others, or just a solitary acceptance of other people and some semblance of belonging in a world that appears mean and cruel, and sometimes oblivious to the struggles of others.
I will admit there were a couple of points where I almost didn't finish it, but then perservered, a lot like Abbie pushes forward through the travails that life continues to throw at her, and in the end it really was all worth it. Someone who reads up to that first part of the book and then stops would probably be impacted as well, almost needing to read the rest of this book to get the closure that seems desired and needed through this book.
Story: 4 stars
The narrative throughout was well worth reading, and the story crafted was one that leaves an impression. It's very hard to do that with a non-fiction narrative, and there were times where I found myself comparing events with Dave Pelzer's "A Child Called It" to the point of outrageousness. The beginning of this book is really hard to read, as it goes from child abuse to child rape to continuous child exploitation, almost to where it felt like the events were trying to outshock previous events. But then you're left realizing this is a true story, so you can only feel compassion, and when the story is complete, feel anger that there are those out there who will go unpunished for the unspeakable acts they have carried out against innocent victims who have no way of ever striking back. The epilogue alone is poignant and casts its own shadows of despair on the depravity of humanity.
Voice: 3 1/2 stars
Although non-fiction, the author struggles to maintain a singular voice throughout the tale, as she sometimes juxtaposes the tale from fluidity to a sense that some prose the tale contains is still difficult to convey, making it disjointed at times. But overall, it carries forward very well and you get the sense of a very young girl's memories being relived through the prism of someone decades after the events.
Mechanics: 3 stars
The book could have used an additional edit. There are numerous spelling errors, "theres" instead of "their's", and other mechanical errors throughout. But overall, it holds up well. There were also a number of port problems from the original manuscript to the Kindle version where the justifcation of the text was off, but as someone who has worked with porting to a Kindle myself, I completely understand that problem as there are times where it happens, and no matter what you do, it just can't be fixed.
Cover: 4 stars
There are any number of different kinds of covers that could have been used to convey this story; the one chosen seems to do a pretty solid job. Having seen some really outrageous covers for some books on Kindle, it's nice to see a simple, telling piece of artwork that doesn't go out of its way to overdue an appeal to attention.
Summary: I would recommend others to read this book, keeping in mind that the first 1/3 is VERY difficult to get through.
January 6, 2012
Over 3 million reports of child abuse are made every year in JUST the United States alone. 7.6% of these are sexual abuse claims (approx. 228,000 children.) Almost five children die everyday as a result of child abuse. More than three out of four are under the age of 4.
Harsh statistics right? Horrifying actually.
A few weeks ago I received a review request from an awe inspiring woman named Abigail Lawrence. She wanted me to read her book “Invisible Tears.” I hesitantly agreed knowing that the journey I was about to embark on would be heart wrenching and hard to read, but at the same time, completely and undeniably necessary.
At the age of 6 Abbie’s mother died, and with no one there to pick up the pieces she was shipped off to whomever would take her. Unfortunately, the loving and caring home she needed was not what she got, instead she was forced to live with a woman that physically and mentally abused her, and then eventually… in seek of fame… handed her over to local pedophiles in the “entertainment” business. After her father (who had been relatively absent up until this point) finally accepted what was happening to his children he whisked them away for a better life, but sometimes people can be to late, sometime the damage has already been done. Keeping, and constantly reliving the secrets of what really happened to her, forced Abbie to grow into a damaged and rebellious teenager, looking for comfort and drugs where ever she could get them. This is the story of Abbie’s struggle to survive, her struggle to understand that not everything was her fault, and the struggle to finally find love and acceptance. This is a story of a small girl, who had to learn to dig her own way out of the trenches… just to be able to breathe.
The novel was written in Abbie’s dialogue so it is imperative you be prepared for several things.
1. You are going to experience the worse side of life through the eyes of a child for the first several chapters. They are excruciatingly difficult to read (especially if you have small children) and will, at times, make you feel physically ill.
2. The story will eventually move past blatant gruesomeness, however the story as a whole continues, and can be as equally emotional as the first few pages. (so grab some Kleenex.)
3. If you start reading, do not stop. This is not a book you can put down half way through and wish you had never picked it up to begin with. The epilogue is a very VERY important part of the story and if you don’t read it you will never get the intended point of the book. (Pace yourself if you have to but don’t give up on it.)
This novel is in no way intended for a young audience, or the faint of heart. It is rough, it is damaging, and it is horrifyingly descriptive. The fact that it is based off of someone’s’ “real life” experiences makes it only that much more difficult to handle, so read at your own risk.
Until tomorrow my fellow Kindle-ites I bid you ado and leave you with something to think about:
Children who have been sexually abused are 2.5 times more likely to abuse alcohol
Children who have been sexually abused are 3.8 times more likely to develop drug addictions
90% of child sexual abuse victims know the perpetrator in some way; 68% are abused by family members
Maybe one day we will open our eyes.
For a complete book description click image
(5/5)
Harsh statistics right? Horrifying actually.
A few weeks ago I received a review request from an awe inspiring woman named Abigail Lawrence. She wanted me to read her book “Invisible Tears.” I hesitantly agreed knowing that the journey I was about to embark on would be heart wrenching and hard to read, but at the same time, completely and undeniably necessary.
At the age of 6 Abbie’s mother died, and with no one there to pick up the pieces she was shipped off to whomever would take her. Unfortunately, the loving and caring home she needed was not what she got, instead she was forced to live with a woman that physically and mentally abused her, and then eventually… in seek of fame… handed her over to local pedophiles in the “entertainment” business. After her father (who had been relatively absent up until this point) finally accepted what was happening to his children he whisked them away for a better life, but sometimes people can be to late, sometime the damage has already been done. Keeping, and constantly reliving the secrets of what really happened to her, forced Abbie to grow into a damaged and rebellious teenager, looking for comfort and drugs where ever she could get them. This is the story of Abbie’s struggle to survive, her struggle to understand that not everything was her fault, and the struggle to finally find love and acceptance. This is a story of a small girl, who had to learn to dig her own way out of the trenches… just to be able to breathe.
The novel was written in Abbie’s dialogue so it is imperative you be prepared for several things.
1. You are going to experience the worse side of life through the eyes of a child for the first several chapters. They are excruciatingly difficult to read (especially if you have small children) and will, at times, make you feel physically ill.
2. The story will eventually move past blatant gruesomeness, however the story as a whole continues, and can be as equally emotional as the first few pages. (so grab some Kleenex.)
3. If you start reading, do not stop. This is not a book you can put down half way through and wish you had never picked it up to begin with. The epilogue is a very VERY important part of the story and if you don’t read it you will never get the intended point of the book. (Pace yourself if you have to but don’t give up on it.)
This novel is in no way intended for a young audience, or the faint of heart. It is rough, it is damaging, and it is horrifyingly descriptive. The fact that it is based off of someone’s’ “real life” experiences makes it only that much more difficult to handle, so read at your own risk.
Until tomorrow my fellow Kindle-ites I bid you ado and leave you with something to think about:
Children who have been sexually abused are 2.5 times more likely to abuse alcohol
Children who have been sexually abused are 3.8 times more likely to develop drug addictions
90% of child sexual abuse victims know the perpetrator in some way; 68% are abused by family members
Maybe one day we will open our eyes.
For a complete book description click image
(5/5)
October 17, 2011
Invisible Tears is a raw and gritty look at the horrific abuse that Abigail Lawrence was forced to endure as a young girl. It made me so angry to read about how she was beaten by her stepmother and then auctioned off to the highest bidder to perform sexual acts as a child. My daughter is not much younger than Abbie was at the beginning of the book, and it makes me shudder to think of her going through such hell.
One thing that stood out in this memoir is Abbie's realization that she caused a lot of her own problems. Granted, with what all she had gone through as a kid, it's no surprise that she mucked up her life throughout her teenage years. She didn't have the emotional resources or felt she had any kind of support to deal with even normal teenage issues, and she wasn't about to listen to anyone in authority. No wonder, when she had been treated so shabbily by her stepmother who was supposed to be protecting her.
The writing is very elementary, with spelling and punctuation errors, but considering that Abbie as a teen had refused to attend school, it's easy to forgive her.
One thing that stood out in this memoir is Abbie's realization that she caused a lot of her own problems. Granted, with what all she had gone through as a kid, it's no surprise that she mucked up her life throughout her teenage years. She didn't have the emotional resources or felt she had any kind of support to deal with even normal teenage issues, and she wasn't about to listen to anyone in authority. No wonder, when she had been treated so shabbily by her stepmother who was supposed to be protecting her.
The writing is very elementary, with spelling and punctuation errors, but considering that Abbie as a teen had refused to attend school, it's easy to forgive her.
August 1, 2016
Kudos to the the author for bravely writing her story. It is indeed the most effective way of therapy, and more importantly, it makes the world aware of the horrors of child abuse.
It is difficult to imagine a woman, let alone a mother peddling their children to pedophiles for want of fortune and fame for themselves. So inconceivable!
Abbie overcame the horrors of the terrible abuse she suffered, but not without difficulties. Aside from this book, she continues to help abused children together with her husband as foster parents. Even without a diploma or any advance studies, Abbie's personal experiences are enough for me to conclude that she would be a very effective foster parent.
Aptly, she addressed abused children in the conclusion of her book: it is okay to cry; but don't give up hope; someone is bound to see the invisible tears.
It is difficult to imagine a woman, let alone a mother peddling their children to pedophiles for want of fortune and fame for themselves. So inconceivable!
Abbie overcame the horrors of the terrible abuse she suffered, but not without difficulties. Aside from this book, she continues to help abused children together with her husband as foster parents. Even without a diploma or any advance studies, Abbie's personal experiences are enough for me to conclude that she would be a very effective foster parent.
Aptly, she addressed abused children in the conclusion of her book: it is okay to cry; but don't give up hope; someone is bound to see the invisible tears.
July 4, 2011
I know the Author personally she is a lovely lady, This book is a great read for anyone who has and is being abused it's an Inspiration and lets people who have and are being abused there not alone and that they to can get through it and go on to bigger and better things I love this lady and having met her and spent time with her would never have believed this was her life she is beautiful inside and out and has gone on to share allot of love I am humbled by her and proud to know her and call her a friend. Please read it you wont regret it.
October 10, 2011
Powerfully disturbing story of physical, sexual and emotional abuse, based on the childhood of the author. The detail are often horrifically graphic, yet it is a story of survival that ends with happiness. We are fortunate that in today's society child abuse and child pornography are no longer tolerated, where in the 70's they were ignored.
December 21, 2010
The beginning of this book was so hard to read, knowing this is a true story and the mental, physical and sexual abuse this child dealt with everyday was heart breaking.
This book was excellent, it showed how Abbie was able to turn herself around and learn how to live and stand up for herself.
This book was excellent, it showed how Abbie was able to turn herself around and learn how to live and stand up for herself.
May 5, 2011
This book was very descriptive, at times uncomfortable to read. I couldn't put the book down and read it within two days. I do enjoy how they wrote an update at the end of the book on the main character.
April 17, 2011
Sexual and physical abuse--difficult reading--helped me to understand some of the girls I work with.
Read
December 24, 2011couldn't read this book. Too violent and painful to read.
January 31, 2012
very sad beginning but surprisingly happy ending
February 21, 2020
DNF
Okay so the first 24% of the book was gut wrenching. The abuse she suffered was devastating. I'm sorry that the Author has gone through this experience.
However, I ended up skimming and stopped reading at 36% as a lot of moving, jumping around etc was happening. The book started getting confusing and I guess I really didn't care for the writing style.
Abigail I truly hope you found your happy after what you've been through.
Okay so the first 24% of the book was gut wrenching. The abuse she suffered was devastating. I'm sorry that the Author has gone through this experience.
However, I ended up skimming and stopped reading at 36% as a lot of moving, jumping around etc was happening. The book started getting confusing and I guess I really didn't care for the writing style.
Abigail I truly hope you found your happy after what you've been through.
April 1, 2020
Jean38no
Author took the reader on a nightmare tour of her childhood. The story grabs you because it’s so real. Makes you think back of some rebellious kid you knew. You may have thought the parents were weird , but never thought they were abused. Even when they explained away bruises and the many falls. I’m glad whenever abused people shed the light on abuse. Maybe just Maybe we as a society will try to do something before the children are scared for life or killed.
Author took the reader on a nightmare tour of her childhood. The story grabs you because it’s so real. Makes you think back of some rebellious kid you knew. You may have thought the parents were weird , but never thought they were abused. Even when they explained away bruises and the many falls. I’m glad whenever abused people shed the light on abuse. Maybe just Maybe we as a society will try to do something before the children are scared for life or killed.
February 16, 2020
It’s okay to cry!?!?
It’s sad when someone is so abused that they actually no longer remember how to cry. This book will make you sick to your stomach. You will learn how cruel and demented some people behave for the love of sex and money! I couldn’t put this down it will keep you on your toes. Have Kleenex handy ☺️
It’s sad when someone is so abused that they actually no longer remember how to cry. This book will make you sick to your stomach. You will learn how cruel and demented some people behave for the love of sex and money! I couldn’t put this down it will keep you on your toes. Have Kleenex handy ☺️
August 27, 2017
Heartbreaking
I could not put this book down was hooked all the best to you Abbey and your little family may your wicked step mother have the best of karma for the rest of her days !!!
I could not put this book down was hooked all the best to you Abbey and your little family may your wicked step mother have the best of karma for the rest of her days !!!
August 14, 2019
WOW!
This book is absolutely a fantastic read. It was hard to put down. We live in a sick perverted world, but there is always hope for something better.
This book is absolutely a fantastic read. It was hard to put down. We live in a sick perverted world, but there is always hope for something better.
September 2, 2019
Really enjoyed this book, fab read
January 16, 2020
Awesomeness read
For me it was an awesome read. It was a book that was hard to put down ,it was a page turner from start to finish. As sad as it was she come out on top.
For me it was an awesome read. It was a book that was hard to put down ,it was a page turner from start to finish. As sad as it was she come out on top.
January 23, 2020
Okay
The story was sad which is okay. It needed editing desperately. I do like when true stories are shown the light of day.
The story was sad which is okay. It needed editing desperately. I do like when true stories are shown the light of day.
May 8, 2020
Page turner
I couldn’t put the book down. I loved the message she portrayed!!! Such a sad story, but with a glimpse of hope.
I couldn’t put the book down. I loved the message she portrayed!!! Such a sad story, but with a glimpse of hope.
November 24, 2010
Books like this are always difficult to read but for whatever reason, I read them. Maybe it's because it helps to remind me that I and my children are lucky. Whatever the reason, I'm glad I read it.
That being said, I was disappointed in the writing style. Being a memoir, the author wrote about her life. I had to wonder if it would have been better had she collaborated with a more talented writer. Or maybe the editor was at fault. The sentence structure and punctuation made parts difficult to read and I was surprised by the numerous sentence fragments.
Regardless, the story was unforgettable. My heart went out to Abbie and the other children abused throughout her life. It's just so sad to think that things like this even happen. I'm just glad my children are safe.
That being said, I was disappointed in the writing style. Being a memoir, the author wrote about her life. I had to wonder if it would have been better had she collaborated with a more talented writer. Or maybe the editor was at fault. The sentence structure and punctuation made parts difficult to read and I was surprised by the numerous sentence fragments.
Regardless, the story was unforgettable. My heart went out to Abbie and the other children abused throughout her life. It's just so sad to think that things like this even happen. I'm just glad my children are safe.
May 2, 2012
This is a book that will have you in tears when you read of the horrors this child went through but if you're like me, will engross you to the point you can't put it down because you just have to find out how her story ends. It is a well=written, first-person narrative of her life and for the price, I'd recommend it to anyone sensitive to the issues of Childhood Sexual abuse.
**Special Note for Survivors** the book could be triggering for anyone currently dealing with issues or with unresolved issues** There are some very specific instances of physical, emotional and sexual abuse given in the book which they may need to skim/skip or whatever to get them through but it is still worth the buy!
Amazing read! Couldn't put it down.
**Special Note for Survivors** the book could be triggering for anyone currently dealing with issues or with unresolved issues** There are some very specific instances of physical, emotional and sexual abuse given in the book which they may need to skim/skip or whatever to get them through but it is still worth the buy!
Amazing read! Couldn't put it down.
March 29, 2011
This was a hard book to read, especially the first half. The abuse this poor girl suffered was absolutely horrifying. I almost couldn't finish it.
That being said, it was interesting to see how her life turned around and what she went through to get to that point.
Some people claimed they found the writing style lacking. In a way it was. However, I don't think she wrote this expecting it to become a best seller. I think it was a form of self therapy. It was like she was writing down her thoughts and memories. If you read the epilogue, she explains that.
This was a decent story, though not one I could ever read again.
That being said, it was interesting to see how her life turned around and what she went through to get to that point.
Some people claimed they found the writing style lacking. In a way it was. However, I don't think she wrote this expecting it to become a best seller. I think it was a form of self therapy. It was like she was writing down her thoughts and memories. If you read the epilogue, she explains that.
This was a decent story, though not one I could ever read again.
July 23, 2012
I was extrememly happy for this woman because of the way she turned her life around. I cried several times and had to put this down and breathe because of the details provided, however, it is refreshing to read that she turned her life around for the better after the things she went through and dealt with. I have to admit, this book scared me a little because while we know tragedy is out there and children are abused, this book made it more reality for me and I found myself sad for all children in this situation.
August 2, 2012
The details of the sexual abuse is so disturbing, that I had to skim through parts of it.......At one time I even decided that this book was going in the " did not finish pile".......I somehow felt compelled to see what happened to this child.....I am not sure who I would recommend this book to......maybe somebody going into the field of social work, so that they won't be so " floored" if they do ever see a case like this.....As for the writing, the book is poorly edited. It was really hard for me to overlook all the grammatical errors. It was distracting to me as the reader.
April 11, 2012
i loved this book its a heartfelt story of a girl who goes through so much at a young age and is left behind by many people but she still manages to pick herself up and survive a life that was once full of so much pain and then turns into love.
Read
February 2, 2011I read this in 2010, and remember NOTHING about it, at all. I only know I read it because it was archived on my kindle and all the little dots were bold.
Read
September 13, 2016Since this a memoir, and a sad one at that, I've chosen not to rate this book.
Read
March 22, 2011This is a must read for anyone who is seeking a Social Work degree or a survivor of domestic abuse of any kind.
July 25, 2011
I couldn't read of the abuse she endured but wanted to know how she survived so I skipped a few chapters.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews