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The Diaries of Sofia Tolstoy: A Chronicle of Marriage to Leo Tolstoy and Turbulent Turn-of-the-Century Russia
After marrying Count Leo Tolstoy, the renowned author of Anna Karenina and War and Peace, Sofia Tolstoy kept a detailed diary until his death in 1910. Her life was not an easy one: she idealized her husband but was tormented by him. She lived against the background of one of the most turbulent periods in her country’s history, as old feudal Russia was transformed by three revolutions and three major international wars.
Yet it is as Sofia Tolstoy’s own life story—the study of one woman’s private experience—that these diaries are most valuable and moving. They reveal a woman of tremendous vital energy and poetic sensibility who, in the face of provocation and suffering, continued to strive for the higher things in life and to remain indomitable.
Yet it is as Sofia Tolstoy’s own life story—the study of one woman’s private experience—that these diaries are most valuable and moving. They reveal a woman of tremendous vital energy and poetic sensibility who, in the face of provocation and suffering, continued to strive for the higher things in life and to remain indomitable.
639 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1984
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About the author
Sofia Tolstaya
22 books44 followersSophia Andreyevna Tolstaya (née Behrs) (Russian: Со́фья Андре́евна Толста́я, sometimes Anglicised as Sophia Tolstoy), was the wife of Russian novelist and thinker Leo Tolstoy. Sophia was one of 3 daughters of physician Andrey Behrs, and Liubov Alexandrovna Behrs.
Sophia was first introduced to Leo Tolstoy in 1862, when she was 18 years old. At 34, Tolstoy was 16 years her senior. On 17 September, 1862 the couple became formally engaged, marrying a week later in Moscow. At the time of their marriage, Leo Tolstoy was already well-known as a novelist after the publication of The Cossacks.
On the eve of their marriage, Tolstoy gave Sophia his diaries detailing his sexual relations with female serfs. In Anna Karenina, 34 year old Constantine Levin, a semi-autobiographical character behaves similarly, asking his 19 year old fiancée Kitty to read his diaries and learn of his past transgressions.
The Tolstoys had 13 children, only 8 of which survived childhood. Tolstaya tried to convince her husband to use birth control but he refused. Fortunately, the family was prosperous, owing to Tolstoy's efficient management of his estates and to the sales of his works, making it possible to provide adequately for the increasing family.
Tolstoya was a devoted help to her husband in his literary work. She acted as copyist of War and Peace, copying the manuscript seven times from beginning to end.
In 1887, Tolstoya took up the relatively new art of photography. She took over a thousand photographs that documented her life, including with Tolstoy, and the decline of pre-Soviet Tsarist Russia.
She was also a diarist and documented her life with Leo Tolstoy in a series of diaries which have been published in English translation.
After many years of an increasingly troubled marriage - the couple argued over Tolstoy's desire to give away all his private property - Leo left Sophia abruptly in 1910, aged 81, with his doctor, Duchan Makovicki, and daughter Alexandra Tolstaya. Tolstoy died 10 days later in a railway station, whilst Sophia was kept away from him.
Following the death of her husband, Sophia continued to live in Yasnaya Polyana and survived the Russian Revolution in relative peace. She died in 1919.
Sophia was first introduced to Leo Tolstoy in 1862, when she was 18 years old. At 34, Tolstoy was 16 years her senior. On 17 September, 1862 the couple became formally engaged, marrying a week later in Moscow. At the time of their marriage, Leo Tolstoy was already well-known as a novelist after the publication of The Cossacks.
On the eve of their marriage, Tolstoy gave Sophia his diaries detailing his sexual relations with female serfs. In Anna Karenina, 34 year old Constantine Levin, a semi-autobiographical character behaves similarly, asking his 19 year old fiancée Kitty to read his diaries and learn of his past transgressions.
The Tolstoys had 13 children, only 8 of which survived childhood. Tolstaya tried to convince her husband to use birth control but he refused. Fortunately, the family was prosperous, owing to Tolstoy's efficient management of his estates and to the sales of his works, making it possible to provide adequately for the increasing family.
Tolstoya was a devoted help to her husband in his literary work. She acted as copyist of War and Peace, copying the manuscript seven times from beginning to end.
In 1887, Tolstoya took up the relatively new art of photography. She took over a thousand photographs that documented her life, including with Tolstoy, and the decline of pre-Soviet Tsarist Russia.
She was also a diarist and documented her life with Leo Tolstoy in a series of diaries which have been published in English translation.
After many years of an increasingly troubled marriage - the couple argued over Tolstoy's desire to give away all his private property - Leo left Sophia abruptly in 1910, aged 81, with his doctor, Duchan Makovicki, and daughter Alexandra Tolstaya. Tolstoy died 10 days later in a railway station, whilst Sophia was kept away from him.
Following the death of her husband, Sophia continued to live in Yasnaya Polyana and survived the Russian Revolution in relative peace. She died in 1919.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 86 reviews
partially-read
February 27, 2020I didn't read the whole thing. I stopped at about the same time Sofia stopped being pregnant all the time and Lev started having his "spiritual awakening."
What I got out of this is that the two never should have gotten married in the first place. Giving your spouse diaries of your inner most thoughts and (understandably) complaints about your partner is a terrible idea. They poisoned their relationship with their private writing. And, lastly, some wonders of modern medicine would have made all of their lives significantly better. Xanax, Zoloft, Ibuprofen and some birth control literally save lives. This book is a proof of it. Sofia spent half of her life worrying someone was about to die (and sometimes they did) because of indigestion, fever or diarrhea.
My deep dive into this miserable marriage isn't over yet.
What I got out of this is that the two never should have gotten married in the first place. Giving your spouse diaries of your inner most thoughts and (understandably) complaints about your partner is a terrible idea. They poisoned their relationship with their private writing. And, lastly, some wonders of modern medicine would have made all of their lives significantly better. Xanax, Zoloft, Ibuprofen and some birth control literally save lives. This book is a proof of it. Sofia spent half of her life worrying someone was about to die (and sometimes they did) because of indigestion, fever or diarrhea.
My deep dive into this miserable marriage isn't over yet.
April 14, 2011
Sophia Behrs was only 18 when she was introduced to the 34-year-old Count Leo Tolstoy, in 1862, and by the September of the same year they were married in Moscow. On the eve of their wedding Leo Tolstoy asked his bride-to-be to read his diaries, in which he describes his sexual relationships with serfs, a love affair with one young woman in particular who bore him a child, and his homosexual leanings. The young Sophia was both devastated and disgusted by what she had read:
“The whole of my husband’s past is so ghastly that I don’t think I shall ever be able to accept it … When he kisses me, I am always thinking, ‘I am not the first woman he has loved’. It hurts me so much that my love for him – the dearest thing in the world to me … should not be enough for him.”
From this undesirable beginning sprang a tortuous and tumultuous life together. The Tolstoy’s lived in Yasnaya Polyana, Leo’s 4,000 acre estate, and had 13 children in all, eight of whom survived. Sophia was to be in charge of the estate, the children and Leo himself and it is through her diary that we gain an insight into how unhappy she was with her lot. In 1863, after only a year of marriage, she states:
“I am to gratify his pleasure and nurse his child, I am a piece of household furniture, I am a woman. I try to suppress all human feelings.”
Their relationship was composed of two disparate characters. Sophia wanted a more spiritual side to their life together whilst Leo demanded sexual relations but refused to use birth control. When Sophia did get pregnant he would become repulsed by her:
“My pregnancy is to blame for everything – I’m in an unbearable state, physically and mentally … As far as Lyova is concerned I don’t exist.”
From her diary the reader soon discovers that Sophia did everything within their relationship, around the estate and was even a literary agent for her husband. She ensured copyright for his works and battled continuously with the Russian censors on his behalf. She put in a tremendous amount of effort into advancing his writings and every evening she would copy out his untidy drafts with her neat handwriting, returning them to Tolstoy the next day for him to revise once again, which would lead to more copying for her. Sophia copied out War and Peace seven times! But it is this aspect of their relationship that provides her with a sense of being wanted and needed by her husband.
When he reached middle age Tolstoy turned away from writing toward shaping his own version of Christianity. In the mid-1880s Leo became a religious guru and turned his back on fiction and on his wife. He threatened to give away all his property and the copyright to his works to the Russian people. Around this time Sophia’s diary entries become more fraught:
“What I have predicted has come true: my passionate husband has died, and since he was never a friend to me, how could he be one to me now? This is not the life for me.”
On many occasions, throughout the diary, the reader is privy to Sophia’s longing to have the time to become a musician or artist, “hundreds of times I have felt my intellectual energy stir within me, and all sorts of desires – for education a love of music and the arts …” But this was not to be: “… time and time again I have crushed and smothered these longings”. She does have music lessons and tries, in a two and a half hour session, to master the “8th Invention by Bach”. Her creative abilities were not only musical, for some of Sophia’s fascinating photographs of the Tolstoy family are reproduced here.
The Diaries of Sophia Tolstoy is a 450page tome that spanning 57 years in the life of this remarkably intelligent and tolerant woman. Her life was not an easy one, for she loved her husband even though he tormented her, and in the background to it was one of the most turbulent times in Russian history. These private diaries offer the reader an insight into the predicament of women in the past (I can’t see many 21st century females putting up with that kind of behaviour) but the pages are mainly filled with deep-seated neurosis, pain and anguish. They are not an easy read, so I would recommend a ‘dipping-in-and-out’ approach...
“The whole of my husband’s past is so ghastly that I don’t think I shall ever be able to accept it … When he kisses me, I am always thinking, ‘I am not the first woman he has loved’. It hurts me so much that my love for him – the dearest thing in the world to me … should not be enough for him.”
From this undesirable beginning sprang a tortuous and tumultuous life together. The Tolstoy’s lived in Yasnaya Polyana, Leo’s 4,000 acre estate, and had 13 children in all, eight of whom survived. Sophia was to be in charge of the estate, the children and Leo himself and it is through her diary that we gain an insight into how unhappy she was with her lot. In 1863, after only a year of marriage, she states:
“I am to gratify his pleasure and nurse his child, I am a piece of household furniture, I am a woman. I try to suppress all human feelings.”
Their relationship was composed of two disparate characters. Sophia wanted a more spiritual side to their life together whilst Leo demanded sexual relations but refused to use birth control. When Sophia did get pregnant he would become repulsed by her:
“My pregnancy is to blame for everything – I’m in an unbearable state, physically and mentally … As far as Lyova is concerned I don’t exist.”
From her diary the reader soon discovers that Sophia did everything within their relationship, around the estate and was even a literary agent for her husband. She ensured copyright for his works and battled continuously with the Russian censors on his behalf. She put in a tremendous amount of effort into advancing his writings and every evening she would copy out his untidy drafts with her neat handwriting, returning them to Tolstoy the next day for him to revise once again, which would lead to more copying for her. Sophia copied out War and Peace seven times! But it is this aspect of their relationship that provides her with a sense of being wanted and needed by her husband.
When he reached middle age Tolstoy turned away from writing toward shaping his own version of Christianity. In the mid-1880s Leo became a religious guru and turned his back on fiction and on his wife. He threatened to give away all his property and the copyright to his works to the Russian people. Around this time Sophia’s diary entries become more fraught:
“What I have predicted has come true: my passionate husband has died, and since he was never a friend to me, how could he be one to me now? This is not the life for me.”
On many occasions, throughout the diary, the reader is privy to Sophia’s longing to have the time to become a musician or artist, “hundreds of times I have felt my intellectual energy stir within me, and all sorts of desires – for education a love of music and the arts …” But this was not to be: “… time and time again I have crushed and smothered these longings”. She does have music lessons and tries, in a two and a half hour session, to master the “8th Invention by Bach”. Her creative abilities were not only musical, for some of Sophia’s fascinating photographs of the Tolstoy family are reproduced here.
The Diaries of Sophia Tolstoy is a 450page tome that spanning 57 years in the life of this remarkably intelligent and tolerant woman. Her life was not an easy one, for she loved her husband even though he tormented her, and in the background to it was one of the most turbulent times in Russian history. These private diaries offer the reader an insight into the predicament of women in the past (I can’t see many 21st century females putting up with that kind of behaviour) but the pages are mainly filled with deep-seated neurosis, pain and anguish. They are not an easy read, so I would recommend a ‘dipping-in-and-out’ approach...
October 3, 2025
Se pasa.
March 21, 2015
I could only read this book in smaller doses. Sofia's life is full of pain, sorrow, anguish, fear......or was it that bad? Sofia herself said that she only writes in her diary when she's feeling sad, lonely, mad, depressed, etc. There are large gaps of missing time....were these the good times of her life when she laughed and enjoyed it?
At the beginning of each diary is a short telling of what was going on in Russia and in Leo's life (what he was writing, thinking, doing). Yet in Sofia's diary, these things are not often mentioned. Her diary is full of children, lessons, darning, teaching, sewing, household chores.....everyday life.
What I found fascinating was what wasn't written. These diaries have made me interested in reading biographies of both Leo and Sofia. Sofia was a strong woman of her time. I'd like to find out more about her.
Recommended but with a caution: this is not easy reading. It's sorrowful.
At the beginning of each diary is a short telling of what was going on in Russia and in Leo's life (what he was writing, thinking, doing). Yet in Sofia's diary, these things are not often mentioned. Her diary is full of children, lessons, darning, teaching, sewing, household chores.....everyday life.
What I found fascinating was what wasn't written. These diaries have made me interested in reading biographies of both Leo and Sofia. Sofia was a strong woman of her time. I'd like to find out more about her.
Recommended but with a caution: this is not easy reading. It's sorrowful.
January 1, 2021
Well, it was one of the most impressive and thought-provoking discoveries of the year. I already wrote several large posts about many of the things I found here, with dozens of quotes and various reflections about all this (see below). I am seriously reconsidering now my whole attitude to Лев Толстой and his books, and I am bewildered and angry that people en masse do not even want to hear about de-idolizing this person (obviously very talented and obviously EXTREMELY HORRIBLE AND UTTERLY WEIRD as a human) and to think about all this together, as society.
I am also very irritated that every time when I want to say something about Софья Толстая, I am forced to talk about Лев Толстой first and foremost, because it’s her diaries that give you a lot of mind-blowing information about him and about the whole phenomenon of contempt and disregard to her. However, Софья Толстая should be read and discussed also as a stand-alone person: very intelligent, kind, hard-working, loving, dedicated, open-minded, serious, inventive. Her life was wretched because of her love and dedication to her family, and she was also despised and presented as a mad bitch even during her life and, especially, after her death for the whole world, for all the future generations, for us. It’s unfair and disgusting, and we should correct this. When you read her diary, you find anything but madness and bitchiness there. I loved and respected this woman very much. I could never understand her undying love to Лев Толстой and her children, however cruel and unfair they all were towards her, but all this is completely in line with her personality: calm, hard-working, kind, and loving. Good wife, good mother, good grandmother, good family member. Good person.
I think that this was a very useful and important reading for me: not only because I learned a lot of incredible things about Лев Толстой as a person, but also because such people as Софья Толстая teach you to be better humans.
Софья Толстая’s diary is also a must-read document for any feminist and other conscientious readers who are trying to find answers to the most poignant social questions of our current life. This is a striking example of a rotten life of a bright and wide-eyed woman, obviously very eager to learn about the world and discover it, and work a lot to make it better, who might have been a thousand things and enjoy life, but who was doomed to become a harshly exploited and yet deeply despised slave to “a great genius.”
I’ll gather here together all my posts about everything I wrote about these diaries during these recent weeks:
1. “Иду на жертву к сыну…” — introductory post.
2. "дело Крейцеровой сонаты" — about a revolting attitude of Лев Толстой to women in personal life and his wife in particular.
3. "деньги, деньги, дребеденьги" — about the attitude to money and its management.
4. “А в биографии будут писать, что он за дворника воду возил” — about how we were told that Софья Толстая is an inadequate bitch.
5. "зеркало русской революции и “женский вопрос” — about what Лев Толстой thought about the place of women in society and feminism in general.
6. "про ужасы и перегибы “cancel culture” — general reflections about what to do with all this unpleasant information.
7. “проблемы во взаимоотношениях с матерью” — some examples of how image of Софья Толстая is distorted over time.
8. “Какое грустное явление этот всемирный винт!” — about a strange passion of Лев Толстой for card games.
9. "духовный наставник скопцов" — about a difference between preaching of goodness and trying to "walk the talk."
10. "Толстой и дети" — about completely ridiculous claims on Лев Толстой's outstanding pedagogical aspirations and talents.
11. “эта девушка так мила, так особенна, что она не протанцует здесь месяца и выйдет замуж” (с) Болконский о Наташе" — about some things that should be remembered when you read Лев Толстой's books.
12. “Софья Толстая | Дневники (1897-1909) (audiobook)" — this review on my blog with more quotes.
I’ll also remind that if you want to read the diary, you should find A COMPLETE DIARY, i.e. encompassing 1862-1919. There are a 1978 Soviet edition and a 2017 Russian re-edition with this full text, and an audiobook narrated by Светлана Репина (made on the basis of the 1978 Soviet edition). As I already said in post No. 4, it’s very important that we see the whole picture, from the beginning to the end. Besides, it’s just an interesting and very important reading overall, and nothing should be omitted from the story.
After all this, there is not much to add, of course. I still have a lot of thoughts and questions about all this, and I already prepared several other materials to read about life of this crazy family and the sad fate of Софья Толстая, but I feel quite overwhelmed right now and want that all this settle down in my head, so I’ll pause and rest.
I am also very irritated that every time when I want to say something about Софья Толстая, I am forced to talk about Лев Толстой first and foremost, because it’s her diaries that give you a lot of mind-blowing information about him and about the whole phenomenon of contempt and disregard to her. However, Софья Толстая should be read and discussed also as a stand-alone person: very intelligent, kind, hard-working, loving, dedicated, open-minded, serious, inventive. Her life was wretched because of her love and dedication to her family, and she was also despised and presented as a mad bitch even during her life and, especially, after her death for the whole world, for all the future generations, for us. It’s unfair and disgusting, and we should correct this. When you read her diary, you find anything but madness and bitchiness there. I loved and respected this woman very much. I could never understand her undying love to Лев Толстой and her children, however cruel and unfair they all were towards her, but all this is completely in line with her personality: calm, hard-working, kind, and loving. Good wife, good mother, good grandmother, good family member. Good person.
I think that this was a very useful and important reading for me: not only because I learned a lot of incredible things about Лев Толстой as a person, but also because such people as Софья Толстая teach you to be better humans.
Софья Толстая’s diary is also a must-read document for any feminist and other conscientious readers who are trying to find answers to the most poignant social questions of our current life. This is a striking example of a rotten life of a bright and wide-eyed woman, obviously very eager to learn about the world and discover it, and work a lot to make it better, who might have been a thousand things and enjoy life, but who was doomed to become a harshly exploited and yet deeply despised slave to “a great genius.”
I’ll gather here together all my posts about everything I wrote about these diaries during these recent weeks:
1. “Иду на жертву к сыну…” — introductory post.
2. "дело Крейцеровой сонаты" — about a revolting attitude of Лев Толстой to women in personal life and his wife in particular.
3. "деньги, деньги, дребеденьги" — about the attitude to money and its management.
4. “А в биографии будут писать, что он за дворника воду возил” — about how we were told that Софья Толстая is an inadequate bitch.
5. "зеркало русской революции и “женский вопрос” — about what Лев Толстой thought about the place of women in society and feminism in general.
6. "про ужасы и перегибы “cancel culture” — general reflections about what to do with all this unpleasant information.
7. “проблемы во взаимоотношениях с матерью” — some examples of how image of Софья Толстая is distorted over time.
8. “Какое грустное явление этот всемирный винт!” — about a strange passion of Лев Толстой for card games.
9. "духовный наставник скопцов" — about a difference between preaching of goodness and trying to "walk the talk."
10. "Толстой и дети" — about completely ridiculous claims on Лев Толстой's outstanding pedagogical aspirations and talents.
11. “эта девушка так мила, так особенна, что она не протанцует здесь месяца и выйдет замуж” (с) Болконский о Наташе" — about some things that should be remembered when you read Лев Толстой's books.
12. “Софья Толстая | Дневники (1897-1909) (audiobook)" — this review on my blog with more quotes.
I’ll also remind that if you want to read the diary, you should find A COMPLETE DIARY, i.e. encompassing 1862-1919. There are a 1978 Soviet edition and a 2017 Russian re-edition with this full text, and an audiobook narrated by Светлана Репина (made on the basis of the 1978 Soviet edition). As I already said in post No. 4, it’s very important that we see the whole picture, from the beginning to the end. Besides, it’s just an interesting and very important reading overall, and nothing should be omitted from the story.
After all this, there is not much to add, of course. I still have a lot of thoughts and questions about all this, and I already prepared several other materials to read about life of this crazy family and the sad fate of Софья Толстая, but I feel quite overwhelmed right now and want that all this settle down in my head, so I’ll pause and rest.
December 12, 2010
While it seemed like it took me forever to read this book, in the end it was well worth it. I am unfamiliar with the Tolstoys, having never read any of Leo's works, but Sofia's diary was still fascinating. Not only did it provide significant insights into the complex life of Tolstoy and his family, it also gave an insider's views of Russian history between about 1870 and 1920 - the time that experienced the violent transition from the Romanovs to the Bolsheviks. And even if I wasn't interested in Leo Tolstoy or Russian history, Sofia's diary still gives testament to a difficult marriage between a persnickety (and that's being extremely kind) "genius" and his rather suppressed wife.
Book received through Goodreads' First Look program.
Book received through Goodreads' First Look program.
March 3, 2024
Es una novela increíble. Una pena que no sea más conocida ni forme parte de las guías docentes cuando se estudia literatura rusa.
Sofia Tolstaia muestra una gran sensibilidad y es muy crítica con la situación de la mujer en su tiempo: cómo se percibe el cuerpo de la esposa dentro del matrimonio y el espacio que necesitan las mujeres para desarrollarse creativamente.
Es una ventana a su tiempo y a la vez un espejo que nos permite reconocer situaciones complejas que siguen en nuestros días.
Necesito que todo el mundo lea a esta autora.
Sofia Tolstaia muestra una gran sensibilidad y es muy crítica con la situación de la mujer en su tiempo: cómo se percibe el cuerpo de la esposa dentro del matrimonio y el espacio que necesitan las mujeres para desarrollarse creativamente.
Es una ventana a su tiempo y a la vez un espejo que nos permite reconocer situaciones complejas que siguen en nuestros días.
Necesito que todo el mundo lea a esta autora.
May 11, 2019
I've a fondness for reading diaries, this one is quite good. Besides, it's fun to say, 'I'm currently reading Tolstoy... Sofia Tolstoy'.
January 13, 2023
وراء كلّ رجلٍ عظيم امرأة ، ووراء الحرب والسلم و تولستوي كانت الكونتيسة صوفيا .
من ألطف ما قرأت من ادب المذكرات والسيرة الذاتية ، وأجملهم من ناحية السرد ، كتاب فيه مشاعر وعواطف متداخلة ، مكتوب بحميمية وصدق ووجع..
احبت صوفيا زوجها حبًا غير مشروط ، نابعًا من أعماق القلب ، مما دفعها لأن تضحي بالكثير الكثير من اجله ، بل ووصل الامر في بعض الاوقات إلى ان تضحي برغباتها الشخصية في سبيل ذلك.
لقد اخذت على عاتقها جميع الأمور البيتية والإدارية ، مراقبة دور النشر بل حتى انها كانت تستنسخ وتحرر له اعماله بنوعيها الادبي والفلسفي ، ومتابعة الإصدارات ، فكانت بذلك محرره وقارئه الأول ، ناهيك عن اعباء البيت وتربية الاطفال وتعليمهم في ظل أوضاعٍ شبه معدومة ، كل ذلك فقط لكي تتيح لزوجها ان يتفرغ للكتابة والمطالعة
ورغم كل ذلك ورغم الجهد والتعب والتضحيات فقد قالت عقب وفاة تولستوي :
" ليسامح الناس تلك المرأة التي ربما كانت عاجزةً منذ اعوام الشباب ، عن ان تحمل على كتفيها الضعيفتين تلك المهمة الرفيعة ، ان تكون زوجة رجلٍ عبقري وإنسانٍ عظيم "
بعد ان انتهيت من هذا الكتاب ، وبالرغم من عظمة تولستوي فإن صوفيا وببساطة كانت اعظم منه ، فهي حالة يجب أن نركز من خلالها على ما يقع خلف الكواليس ، على أولئك الأشخاص الذين يعيشون في الظل وبالرغم من هذا فهم من يصنعون الاحداث
الترجمة ممتازة وغلاف الكتاب جميل
من ألطف ما قرأت من ادب المذكرات والسيرة الذاتية ، وأجملهم من ناحية السرد ، كتاب فيه مشاعر وعواطف متداخلة ، مكتوب بحميمية وصدق ووجع..
احبت صوفيا زوجها حبًا غير مشروط ، نابعًا من أعماق القلب ، مما دفعها لأن تضحي بالكثير الكثير من اجله ، بل ووصل الامر في بعض الاوقات إلى ان تضحي برغباتها الشخصية في سبيل ذلك.
لقد اخذت على عاتقها جميع الأمور البيتية والإدارية ، مراقبة دور النشر بل حتى انها كانت تستنسخ وتحرر له اعماله بنوعيها الادبي والفلسفي ، ومتابعة الإصدارات ، فكانت بذلك محرره وقارئه الأول ، ناهيك عن اعباء البيت وتربية الاطفال وتعليمهم في ظل أوضاعٍ شبه معدومة ، كل ذلك فقط لكي تتيح لزوجها ان يتفرغ للكتابة والمطالعة
ورغم كل ذلك ورغم الجهد والتعب والتضحيات فقد قالت عقب وفاة تولستوي :
" ليسامح الناس تلك المرأة التي ربما كانت عاجزةً منذ اعوام الشباب ، عن ان تحمل على كتفيها الضعيفتين تلك المهمة الرفيعة ، ان تكون زوجة رجلٍ عبقري وإنسانٍ عظيم "
بعد ان انتهيت من هذا الكتاب ، وبالرغم من عظمة تولستوي فإن صوفيا وببساطة كانت اعظم منه ، فهي حالة يجب أن نركز من خلالها على ما يقع خلف الكواليس ، على أولئك الأشخاص الذين يعيشون في الظل وبالرغم من هذا فهم من يصنعون الاحداث
الترجمة ممتازة وغلاف الكتاب جميل
July 12, 2012
“Sonia, draga mea, sunt vinovat, dar sunt şi un nesuferit, numai că în mine se află un om minunat care uneori doarme. Să-l iubeşti şi să nu-i reproşezi nimic, Sonia!”,îi scria Lev Tolstoi în 1863 soţiei. Oricine ar citi această carte, imposibil să nu observe cum i-a urmat îndemnul, iubindu-l profund întreaga viaţă, în ciuda caracterului său, de multe ori ursuz.
Jurnalul Sofiei, deşi semi-oficial, Tolstoi având acces la el, descrie fără menajamente viaţa lor conjugală, tranparenţă ce devine dureroasă, aproape o povară pentru cei doi parteneri din cauza cuvintelor grele ce şi le adresau în desele momentele de mânie. Duelurile verbale erau ceva la ordinea zilei. Căsnicia lor a stat de la bun început sub semnul geloziei, al unei permanente, adesea nefondate, suspiciuni. Un impediment a fost poate şi diferenţa de vârstă şi experienţă dintre cei doi. Să nu uităm că ea nu avea decât 18 ani când a devenit soţia unui Tolstoi deja celebru, în vârstă de 34 de ani.
Recenzia completa o puteti citi aici: http://satmaya.blogspot.ro/2012/07/vi...
Jurnalul Sofiei, deşi semi-oficial, Tolstoi având acces la el, descrie fără menajamente viaţa lor conjugală, tranparenţă ce devine dureroasă, aproape o povară pentru cei doi parteneri din cauza cuvintelor grele ce şi le adresau în desele momentele de mânie. Duelurile verbale erau ceva la ordinea zilei. Căsnicia lor a stat de la bun început sub semnul geloziei, al unei permanente, adesea nefondate, suspiciuni. Un impediment a fost poate şi diferenţa de vârstă şi experienţă dintre cei doi. Să nu uităm că ea nu avea decât 18 ani când a devenit soţia unui Tolstoi deja celebru, în vârstă de 34 de ani.
Recenzia completa o puteti citi aici: http://satmaya.blogspot.ro/2012/07/vi...
March 19, 2021
Un libro molto molto denso di significati. La vita di una donna, molto giovane, che sposa a 18 anni un uomo, non un uomo qualsiasi, più vecchio di lei di 17 anni… una donna che ha 16 gravidanze di cui 13 portate a compimento con bambini nati vivi, una vita di sacrifici, di devozione, di privazione dei propri desideri, è la storia della moglie di Lev Tolstoj, la giovane Sof’ja Tolstaja.
La vicinanza a una persona geniale non è facile per nessuno, immaginiamo la situazione di una donna, in quel tempo accanto a quell’uomo. Innamorata di lui per ciò che rappresentava, lo serve in modo devoto tutta la vita, pur lamentandosi per ciò che subisce, per l’aiuto mancato nel crescere i figli, per la poca riconoscenza che lui le mostra per tutto il lavoro che lei comunque fa trascrivendo i suoi lavori, supportandolo e prendendosi cura di lui.
Per contro emergono dei tratti di un Tolstoj egoista, concentrato su sé stesso, avvezzo ai piaceri della carne, che sembrano essere l’unica cosa che lo tengono legato a sua moglie. Il cruccio del passato del marito non la abbandonerà mai, la gelosia delle sue esperienze e il fatto di non sentirsi libera di vivere come vuole le danno sconforto. Emerge anche un tratto di lei irascibile, litiga spesso con il marito, sgrida i figli e poi si pente. Piangono molto riappacificandosi. Insomma, un’altalena di sentimenti lungo tutto l’arco della vita che fa provare pena per la situazione di lei che, da una parte si è creata da sola scegliendo di sposare Tolstoj, dall’altra non riesce a uscirne per la sua “vocazione” verso il marito e i figli.
Solo alla fine riesce, in compagnia di alcune figure, a ritagliarsi una parte più “spirituale” come la chiama lei, cosa che non le riesce di ottenere dal marito, può coltivare le sue passioni (la musica e la lettura), è sempre stata una donna sensibile e colta e le è mancato proprio questo aspetto che non ha potuto coltivare a causa dei suoi doveri.
Viene da chiedersi quanta parte del successo del marito sia merito di questa figura costantemente presente nella sua vita che ha discusso con lui in modo critico le sue opere, ha trascritto a mano continuamente le sue bozze dopo ogni revisione, gli ha permesso di dedicarsi alla sua passione di scrittore garantendogli una casa, dei figli, una famiglia, i pasti ecc
Una lettura che mi ha coinvolta emotivamente sotto diversi punti di vista, la compassione per questa donna in parte ma anche l’ammirazione per la sua costanza e forza d’animo, il desiderio di riscatto per lei, la rabbia nei confronti dell’egoismo di quell’uomo che pur cercando di collocarlo in quel contesto storico e attribuirlo alla sua personalità geniale, si rispecchia ancora attualmente in molti uomini.
La vicinanza a una persona geniale non è facile per nessuno, immaginiamo la situazione di una donna, in quel tempo accanto a quell’uomo. Innamorata di lui per ciò che rappresentava, lo serve in modo devoto tutta la vita, pur lamentandosi per ciò che subisce, per l’aiuto mancato nel crescere i figli, per la poca riconoscenza che lui le mostra per tutto il lavoro che lei comunque fa trascrivendo i suoi lavori, supportandolo e prendendosi cura di lui.
Per contro emergono dei tratti di un Tolstoj egoista, concentrato su sé stesso, avvezzo ai piaceri della carne, che sembrano essere l’unica cosa che lo tengono legato a sua moglie. Il cruccio del passato del marito non la abbandonerà mai, la gelosia delle sue esperienze e il fatto di non sentirsi libera di vivere come vuole le danno sconforto. Emerge anche un tratto di lei irascibile, litiga spesso con il marito, sgrida i figli e poi si pente. Piangono molto riappacificandosi. Insomma, un’altalena di sentimenti lungo tutto l’arco della vita che fa provare pena per la situazione di lei che, da una parte si è creata da sola scegliendo di sposare Tolstoj, dall’altra non riesce a uscirne per la sua “vocazione” verso il marito e i figli.
Solo alla fine riesce, in compagnia di alcune figure, a ritagliarsi una parte più “spirituale” come la chiama lei, cosa che non le riesce di ottenere dal marito, può coltivare le sue passioni (la musica e la lettura), è sempre stata una donna sensibile e colta e le è mancato proprio questo aspetto che non ha potuto coltivare a causa dei suoi doveri.
Viene da chiedersi quanta parte del successo del marito sia merito di questa figura costantemente presente nella sua vita che ha discusso con lui in modo critico le sue opere, ha trascritto a mano continuamente le sue bozze dopo ogni revisione, gli ha permesso di dedicarsi alla sua passione di scrittore garantendogli una casa, dei figli, una famiglia, i pasti ecc
Una lettura che mi ha coinvolta emotivamente sotto diversi punti di vista, la compassione per questa donna in parte ma anche l’ammirazione per la sua costanza e forza d’animo, il desiderio di riscatto per lei, la rabbia nei confronti dell’egoismo di quell’uomo che pur cercando di collocarlo in quel contesto storico e attribuirlo alla sua personalità geniale, si rispecchia ancora attualmente in molti uomini.
October 24, 2025
Ugh you guys. Tolstoy was OG I hate my wife. So sad reading through her diaries knowing how much she did for him and how little he appreciated her. And if not for her diaries who would’ve known!!!! She was so wise beyond her years.
“I was wondering today why there were no women writers, artists or composers of genius. It's because all the passion and abilities of an energetic woman are consumed by her family, love, her husband - and especially her children. Her other abilities are not developed, they remain embryonic and atrophy. When she has finished bearing and educating her children her artistic needs awaken, but by then it's too late, and it's impossible to develop anything.
Young girls often develop spiritual and artistic powers, but these powers remain isolated and cannot be carried on by subsequent generations, since girls do not create posterity. Geniuses often have older mothers, who developed their talents early in life, and Lev Nikolaevich is one of these; his mother was no longer young when she married and had him.”
This quote is why I grapple with the rise of “traditional family values.” Maybe minus the subjugation of women??? Still doesn’t sit right with me
“I was wondering today why there were no women writers, artists or composers of genius. It's because all the passion and abilities of an energetic woman are consumed by her family, love, her husband - and especially her children. Her other abilities are not developed, they remain embryonic and atrophy. When she has finished bearing and educating her children her artistic needs awaken, but by then it's too late, and it's impossible to develop anything.
Young girls often develop spiritual and artistic powers, but these powers remain isolated and cannot be carried on by subsequent generations, since girls do not create posterity. Geniuses often have older mothers, who developed their talents early in life, and Lev Nikolaevich is one of these; his mother was no longer young when she married and had him.”
This quote is why I grapple with the rise of “traditional family values.” Maybe minus the subjugation of women??? Still doesn’t sit right with me
September 2, 2010
She writes, “Everyone asks: ‘But why should a worthless woman like you need an intellectual, artistic life?’ To this I can only reply: ‘I don’t know, but eternally suppressing it to serve a genius is a great misfortune.’ ” Though Sofia's frayed nerves and endless crying scenes got a bit tedious, I really enjoyed getting to see her life (and all its contradictions) so closely. As these diaries (which span more than half century) demonstrate, it's not your average woman who is responsible for darning Leo Tolstoy's socks as well as proofing the first draft of War and Peace.
Read
May 12, 2019كتبت عنه هنا
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February 10, 2026
Quanto dolore e quanto amore tra queste pagine.
Lo stile poi brilla di tutta quella vivacità che è assente in Amore Colpevole, un must read per conoscere la donna Sof'ja e l'uomo Lev.
Lo stile poi brilla di tutta quella vivacità che è assente in Amore Colpevole, un must read per conoscere la donna Sof'ja e l'uomo Lev.
November 30, 2022
The Dairies of Sofia Tolstoy
5/5 ⭐️
Tolstoy is a rather familiar name, in literature circles. He wrote “War and Peace” and “Anna Karenina” and various pieces of philosophy and religious essays. But the dairies of Sofia Tolstoy, reveal an insight into her and Leo’s personal life, beyond the words and fanciful ideas Leo Tolstoy was so well known for.
Theirs was a tumultuous and passionate marriage. Leo was prone to depression, and spiritual crisis. In the early years, Sofia describes how her husbands “rich inner life” and past, all of which he refused to share with Sofia, cause daily grievance. “I am giving him everything, not one part of me has been wasted elsewhere.” Of course, Sofia was 18 when she married the 34 year old Tolstoy, so she’s being very literal when she says, “even my childhood belonged to him.”
The book continues, sometimes leaving years in between entries. Sofia had 13 children, but only 8 survived into their adulthood. A constant theme in her entries was her depression, her lack of intellectual life, her older and spiteful husband who she couldn’t help but love so passionately, no matter what he did. At some point, she started talking about her desire to kill herself, and it became a looming comfort throughout her struggles.
““I live only for today, with the happy certainty that every day brings me closer to death.”
As Tolstoy renounced anything he considered “luxury” or “vain” the bulk of running the household and educating the children fell on Sofia’s back. She handled all finances, copied and edited his writing, taught the children, organized and fought on his behalf whenever his work was censored, and gave up full filling any of her own dreams.
“I love work, and I do not love this life, which doesn’t suit me at all, and has been organized through sheer inertia, to suit my family- my husband and children.”
She goes on to say, June 12th 1898,
“I was wondering today why there are no women writers, artists, or composers of genius. It’s because all the passion and abilities of an energetic woman are consumed by her family, love, and her husband- and especially her children. Her other abilities are not developed, they remain embryonic and atrophy.”
Despite these struggles, there were happy times. She found joy in her motherhood, in nature, in the love she maintained for her husband, in music, in friendship. She would often read books and write little reviews or remarks about their quality and content throughout her diary, even stating that Dostoevsky was course and she didn’t like him. (She loved her husband’s works of course, though often remarked that he was hypocritical and blind in real life, but so moral and understanding in his writing)
“His whole philosophy is so strained, artificial and unnatural, based as it is on vanity, the insatiable thirst for fame and the compulsive desire for popularity.”
And after dedicating the whole of her life to her husband and preserving his memory, ultimately he ran away one night, at 82 years old, demanding his freedom and solitude. He died at a train station shortly after, and Sofia was not permitted to be at his side in the days leading up to it.
The entries Sofia has after her husbands death are very short and to the point. She summaries her day and feelings in a few sentences, usually saying she is full of grief and visits Leo’s grave daily.
“Felt dazed, but it’s better like this- the suffering is less acute, body loses the capacity to respond to spiritual pain.”
She died nine years after her husband, living through WW1 and the Russian Revolution, as an old woman in the country side.
Reading this book sparked a lot of emotions, and frustration. I cried when I read the story of Leo’s proposal and their naivety at the prospect of their lives together. I cried reading about the death of Sofia’s beloved six year old son. I am left moved by her story, and curious as to what she might’ve achieved had she been allowed the time. Sofia Tolstoy was a figure who pushed through her circumstances, no matter how difficult. (Only seriously attempting to kill herself a few times.)
I am unsure of how to say goodbye to her, and to this book she’s left behind of her most intimate thoughts and experiences. Farewell, Sofia.
“I try to console myself with the thought that my sufferings are necessary if I am to to pass into eternity, purify my soul and be united with God and Vanechka, who was all joy and love. “Thy will be done!” I cry. If this brings me closer to eternity, so be it. Yet despite these lofty spiritual aspirations, and my sincere heartfelt desire to submit to God’s will, there’s no consolation for me in this or anything else.”
5/5 ⭐️
Tolstoy is a rather familiar name, in literature circles. He wrote “War and Peace” and “Anna Karenina” and various pieces of philosophy and religious essays. But the dairies of Sofia Tolstoy, reveal an insight into her and Leo’s personal life, beyond the words and fanciful ideas Leo Tolstoy was so well known for.
Theirs was a tumultuous and passionate marriage. Leo was prone to depression, and spiritual crisis. In the early years, Sofia describes how her husbands “rich inner life” and past, all of which he refused to share with Sofia, cause daily grievance. “I am giving him everything, not one part of me has been wasted elsewhere.” Of course, Sofia was 18 when she married the 34 year old Tolstoy, so she’s being very literal when she says, “even my childhood belonged to him.”
The book continues, sometimes leaving years in between entries. Sofia had 13 children, but only 8 survived into their adulthood. A constant theme in her entries was her depression, her lack of intellectual life, her older and spiteful husband who she couldn’t help but love so passionately, no matter what he did. At some point, she started talking about her desire to kill herself, and it became a looming comfort throughout her struggles.
““I live only for today, with the happy certainty that every day brings me closer to death.”
As Tolstoy renounced anything he considered “luxury” or “vain” the bulk of running the household and educating the children fell on Sofia’s back. She handled all finances, copied and edited his writing, taught the children, organized and fought on his behalf whenever his work was censored, and gave up full filling any of her own dreams.
“I love work, and I do not love this life, which doesn’t suit me at all, and has been organized through sheer inertia, to suit my family- my husband and children.”
She goes on to say, June 12th 1898,
“I was wondering today why there are no women writers, artists, or composers of genius. It’s because all the passion and abilities of an energetic woman are consumed by her family, love, and her husband- and especially her children. Her other abilities are not developed, they remain embryonic and atrophy.”
Despite these struggles, there were happy times. She found joy in her motherhood, in nature, in the love she maintained for her husband, in music, in friendship. She would often read books and write little reviews or remarks about their quality and content throughout her diary, even stating that Dostoevsky was course and she didn’t like him. (She loved her husband’s works of course, though often remarked that he was hypocritical and blind in real life, but so moral and understanding in his writing)
“His whole philosophy is so strained, artificial and unnatural, based as it is on vanity, the insatiable thirst for fame and the compulsive desire for popularity.”
And after dedicating the whole of her life to her husband and preserving his memory, ultimately he ran away one night, at 82 years old, demanding his freedom and solitude. He died at a train station shortly after, and Sofia was not permitted to be at his side in the days leading up to it.
The entries Sofia has after her husbands death are very short and to the point. She summaries her day and feelings in a few sentences, usually saying she is full of grief and visits Leo’s grave daily.
“Felt dazed, but it’s better like this- the suffering is less acute, body loses the capacity to respond to spiritual pain.”
She died nine years after her husband, living through WW1 and the Russian Revolution, as an old woman in the country side.
Reading this book sparked a lot of emotions, and frustration. I cried when I read the story of Leo’s proposal and their naivety at the prospect of their lives together. I cried reading about the death of Sofia’s beloved six year old son. I am left moved by her story, and curious as to what she might’ve achieved had she been allowed the time. Sofia Tolstoy was a figure who pushed through her circumstances, no matter how difficult. (Only seriously attempting to kill herself a few times.)
I am unsure of how to say goodbye to her, and to this book she’s left behind of her most intimate thoughts and experiences. Farewell, Sofia.
“I try to console myself with the thought that my sufferings are necessary if I am to to pass into eternity, purify my soul and be united with God and Vanechka, who was all joy and love. “Thy will be done!” I cry. If this brings me closer to eternity, so be it. Yet despite these lofty spiritual aspirations, and my sincere heartfelt desire to submit to God’s will, there’s no consolation for me in this or anything else.”
June 20, 2017
La lettura dei diari di personaggi realmente esistiti ha un fascino particolare perché entri davvero nell'intimità, nell'interiorità delle persone, ne conosci i pensieri, le debolezze, i dolori, i desideri, le frustrazioni...
Questa raccolta in particolare è di estremo interesse e molto coinvolgente perché attraverso le parole e i sentimenti di Sof'ia scopriamo, nel contempo, un Tolstoj in versione familiare, ne comprendiamo meglio la personalità, molto contraddittoria, che traspare anche dai suoi scritti: letterato geniale ma uomo a di poco discutibile, “una sorta di mostro”, come non ha esitato a definirlo, nella sua bella prefazione, Doris Lessing.
Sof'ja era poco più che una ragazza ancora piena di sogni e di aspettative quando, a 18 anni e dopo qualche settimana si fidanzamento, sposo il maturo e passionale Lev. Una vita totalmente dedicata a lui, ai suoi figli, alle sue opere che trascrisse innumerevoli volte (solo Guerra e Pace ben 7).
Un amore che nn cessò mai, malgrado i momenti di scoramento, di frustrazione, di insoddisfazione.
Sof'ja era una donna intelligente, istruita, che avrebbe voluto un po' di spazio per sé, da dedicare alla sua crescita spirituale e intellettuale, viaggiare, emanciparsi ma, nn le fu possibile. L'egoismo del marito, la sua indifferenza per tutto ciò che lo circondava, che nn fosse il suo lavorio filosofico, quindi anche per la numerosa prole, la mancanza di tempo materiale, la obbligarono a condurre una routine familiare sempre uguale, sterile, povera di contenuti a lei congeniali. Sof'ja si occupò non solo di mettere al mondo ben tredici figli (di cui solo tre morirono in tenera età), di allevarli e di istruirli dando loro lezioni in varie materie, ma anche di gestire la vita domestica e l'amministrazione delle proprietà da cui la famiglia Tolstoj traeva il proprio sostentamento, soprattutto dopo che lo scrittore, in preda a una forma di esaltazione mistico-religiosa non condivisa dalla lei, si era totalmente disinteressato ad esse.
Dalle pagine che Sof'ja riempie in modo discontinuo, saltando lunghi periodi e scrivendo più intensamente in altri, apprendiamo tutta la sua infelicità di donna repressa, sacrificata a vivere lontano dalla società per l'avversione che il marito provava per la vita cittadina, e impossibilitata a coltivare in modo soddisfacente le proprie ambizioni culturali, : non solo per ovvia mancanza di tempo, ma anche e soprattutto a causa delle idee visionarie professate da Tolstoj nel corso dell'ultima parte della sua vita.
Sof'ja soffre molto per il disinteresse che il marito ostenta nei confronti dei figli, e ancora di più per il fatto che il loro rapporto coniugale le appaia basato esclusivamente sulla carnalità, avvertendo per tutta la vita la mancanza di una reale sintonia spirituale con il proprio compagno.
Dalle sue pagine esce il ritratto a tratti impietoso di un Tolstoj duro, freddo, anche se non privo di slanci e tenerezze inaspettate, in preda a manie salutiste, alla perenne ricerca di un vano ascetismo, circondato e circuito da uomini senza scrupoli, come il famoso e odiato Čertkòvch, oltre che da un nugolo di poveri diavoli che affermandosi suoi discepoli, bivaccavano a Jasnaja Poljana, la loro residenza di campagna. Sempre schiavo fino alla vecchiaia della propria sensualità, nonché assurdamente geloso della moglie e delle sue platoniche simpatie per uomini in cui Sof'ja cercava qualche appagamento alla propria sensibilità, primo fra tutti il musicista Sergej Ivanovič Taneev.
Pagine di intenso dolore quelle dedicate alla morte del figlioletto prediletto Ivan, detto Vanička, alla delusione e all'amarezza per i comportamenti dei figli in età matura, l'ossessione che le prese in seguito per il suicidio, e alla morte di Lev Tolstoj ad Astapovo, nella misera abitazione del capostazione, dal quale fu tenuta lontana dai suoi seguaci e che rivedrà ormai agonizzante...
Solo alla fine di una vita travagliata all'ombra di un genio della letteratura quale fu Lev Tolstoj si rese conto che, malgrado tutto, era stata una privilegiata, che non si poteva esigere un comportamento “convenzionale” da un genio e che lui, a modo suo, non cesso mai di amarla. La loro unione fu forte anche se attraversò mille tempeste...
Il dibattito sulla sua figura e sull'influenza per tanti negativa, per altri positiva, che ebbe su Lev Tolstoj fu ,dopo la sua morte ed è ancora oggi, in pieno fermento.
Questa raccolta in particolare è di estremo interesse e molto coinvolgente perché attraverso le parole e i sentimenti di Sof'ia scopriamo, nel contempo, un Tolstoj in versione familiare, ne comprendiamo meglio la personalità, molto contraddittoria, che traspare anche dai suoi scritti: letterato geniale ma uomo a di poco discutibile, “una sorta di mostro”, come non ha esitato a definirlo, nella sua bella prefazione, Doris Lessing.
Sof'ja era poco più che una ragazza ancora piena di sogni e di aspettative quando, a 18 anni e dopo qualche settimana si fidanzamento, sposo il maturo e passionale Lev. Una vita totalmente dedicata a lui, ai suoi figli, alle sue opere che trascrisse innumerevoli volte (solo Guerra e Pace ben 7).
Un amore che nn cessò mai, malgrado i momenti di scoramento, di frustrazione, di insoddisfazione.
Sof'ja era una donna intelligente, istruita, che avrebbe voluto un po' di spazio per sé, da dedicare alla sua crescita spirituale e intellettuale, viaggiare, emanciparsi ma, nn le fu possibile. L'egoismo del marito, la sua indifferenza per tutto ciò che lo circondava, che nn fosse il suo lavorio filosofico, quindi anche per la numerosa prole, la mancanza di tempo materiale, la obbligarono a condurre una routine familiare sempre uguale, sterile, povera di contenuti a lei congeniali. Sof'ja si occupò non solo di mettere al mondo ben tredici figli (di cui solo tre morirono in tenera età), di allevarli e di istruirli dando loro lezioni in varie materie, ma anche di gestire la vita domestica e l'amministrazione delle proprietà da cui la famiglia Tolstoj traeva il proprio sostentamento, soprattutto dopo che lo scrittore, in preda a una forma di esaltazione mistico-religiosa non condivisa dalla lei, si era totalmente disinteressato ad esse.
Dalle pagine che Sof'ja riempie in modo discontinuo, saltando lunghi periodi e scrivendo più intensamente in altri, apprendiamo tutta la sua infelicità di donna repressa, sacrificata a vivere lontano dalla società per l'avversione che il marito provava per la vita cittadina, e impossibilitata a coltivare in modo soddisfacente le proprie ambizioni culturali, : non solo per ovvia mancanza di tempo, ma anche e soprattutto a causa delle idee visionarie professate da Tolstoj nel corso dell'ultima parte della sua vita.
Sof'ja soffre molto per il disinteresse che il marito ostenta nei confronti dei figli, e ancora di più per il fatto che il loro rapporto coniugale le appaia basato esclusivamente sulla carnalità, avvertendo per tutta la vita la mancanza di una reale sintonia spirituale con il proprio compagno.
Dalle sue pagine esce il ritratto a tratti impietoso di un Tolstoj duro, freddo, anche se non privo di slanci e tenerezze inaspettate, in preda a manie salutiste, alla perenne ricerca di un vano ascetismo, circondato e circuito da uomini senza scrupoli, come il famoso e odiato Čertkòvch, oltre che da un nugolo di poveri diavoli che affermandosi suoi discepoli, bivaccavano a Jasnaja Poljana, la loro residenza di campagna. Sempre schiavo fino alla vecchiaia della propria sensualità, nonché assurdamente geloso della moglie e delle sue platoniche simpatie per uomini in cui Sof'ja cercava qualche appagamento alla propria sensibilità, primo fra tutti il musicista Sergej Ivanovič Taneev.
Pagine di intenso dolore quelle dedicate alla morte del figlioletto prediletto Ivan, detto Vanička, alla delusione e all'amarezza per i comportamenti dei figli in età matura, l'ossessione che le prese in seguito per il suicidio, e alla morte di Lev Tolstoj ad Astapovo, nella misera abitazione del capostazione, dal quale fu tenuta lontana dai suoi seguaci e che rivedrà ormai agonizzante...
Solo alla fine di una vita travagliata all'ombra di un genio della letteratura quale fu Lev Tolstoj si rese conto che, malgrado tutto, era stata una privilegiata, che non si poteva esigere un comportamento “convenzionale” da un genio e che lui, a modo suo, non cesso mai di amarla. La loro unione fu forte anche se attraversò mille tempeste...
Il dibattito sulla sua figura e sull'influenza per tanti negativa, per altri positiva, che ebbe su Lev Tolstoj fu ,dopo la sua morte ed è ancora oggi, in pieno fermento.
April 13, 2022
Me encantó. Lo compré en un impulso porque en realidad estaba buscando los diarios de Tolstoi de edición Acantilado y en Uruguay están agotados como pasa con muchos libros de esa misma editorial. Me encantó la edición porque es bellísima, contiene muchas fotografías en mitad del libro y las notas son excelentes. Sofia era un ser interesantísimo. Neurótica, inteligente, culta, buena escritora, pintaba muy bien y tocaba el piano razonablemente bien. Tuvo 13 hijos, sobrevivió ocho y te desgarra cuando lees de su pluma, lo que significó la pérdida de esos hijos, algunos de niños y otros ya adultos. La relación de Sofia con su esposo es el centro de sus diarios y por tanto, de su vida. Una relación tremendamente difícil y que se viene totalmente abajo en los últimos años de la vida de Lev. Es muy intenso leer sus angustias por ser dejada de lado y humillada por el muy posiblemente, amante de su marido, el psicópata de Chertkov (es interesante leer La última estación de Parini aunque la película es mejor que el libro!). Ahora conseguí por fin un ejemplar de los diarios de Tolstoi, del 1895 a 1910, de modo que voy a leer "la otra campana", al menos de los últimos años del escritor.
January 28, 2021
I found too many resemblances of my own feelings to write a detailed review. I really liked the book, and I liked Tolstaya personality the way she expresses herself. It prompted me to reflect on my own marriage, and on how close we were to end up in a very bad situation. Also, I felt better about being in love. I am often embarrassed to admit that we are madly in love being as old as we are, but when you read that somebody can be madly in love being ten years older than you, you start to feel better:)
March 18, 2020
كتاب ثقيل الوطئة كان من الصعب قراءاته لقوة المشاعر التي فيه حاولت وانا اقرأه انا افصل تولستوي عن زوجته وان اقراه كقراءة اي يوميات اخرى لكن صوفيا لم تترك لي مجال ، فاليوميات تدور حول تولستوي التي تزوجته وعشقته وقامت بكل شيء من أجله ، انا قدمت هنا من كتاب يوميات تولستوي فقط قرات جزأيين والفرق كبير بين اليوميات هذه على العكس تشبه نبذة قصصية عن اليوم بينما يوميات الكاتب الكبير مقتضبة ورسمية كانما شعر ان عليه الاينفتح للاخرين اكثر ، جميل جدا الكتاب لكن كما قلت ثقيل وصعب التجاوز
November 13, 2024
أظن هذا أفضل كتاب مذكرات قريته من ناحية السرد . كذا المفروض تُكتب المذكرات بالتفصيل عن الجو والمواقف والمشاعر والأحداث وغيرها لحد ما يشعر القارئ بها من قوة الوصف.
June 15, 2021
“Escribía artículos y muchos lo consideraban un hombre muy inteligente. Sólo los más perspicaces y eruditos se daban cuenta de que la filosofía del príncipe era en realidad lamentable y ridícula. Los artículos que escribía y que se publicaban en diferentes revistas no aportaban ninguna idea original, sino que eran una mera regurgitación de viejas ideas extraídas de toda una serie de pensadores antiguos y modernos”.
.
Sofia Tolstaia escribió en 1889 esta novela en respuesta a la publicación de la ‘Sonata a Kreutzer’ de su marido, Léo Tolstói. Si el príncipe que protagoniza la historia es un trasunto del escritor ruso, y teniendo en cuenta que Sofía se encargaba de “pasar a limpio” los manuscritos de Tolstoi, no extraña que no se decidiera (o no se atreviera) a publicar el libro y que no pudiera ser leído hasta un siglo después. Esta historia de opresión y sufrimiento dentro de la institución matrimonial cobra estos días más importancia si cabe.
Siempre me ha resultado extraño el argumento de negacionistas y relativistas varios que disculpan o comprenden situaciones de opresión al alegar la supuesta inevitabilidad de ciertas mentalidades en otras épocas, como si Espartaco, Bartolomé de las Casas o Mary Wollstonecraft hubieran sido extraterrestres o viajeros en el tiempo. Sofia Tolstaia es otro ejemplo más de que la ideología del opresor no es la única existente.
El caso es que la novela no es ninguna maravilla porque de buenas intenciones tampoco se hace necesariamente buena literatura, pero creo que es necesario conocerla y leerla, sobre todo complementando la de Tolstói (sugerencia para clubes de lectura y similares). Hace poco comenté ‘Sonata a Kreutzer’ con un grupo de amigos que la habíamos leído al mismo tiempo con esa intención y la mayoría pensaba que tampoco era para tanto, por decirlo resumidamente.
.
Sofia Tolstaia escribió en 1889 esta novela en respuesta a la publicación de la ‘Sonata a Kreutzer’ de su marido, Léo Tolstói. Si el príncipe que protagoniza la historia es un trasunto del escritor ruso, y teniendo en cuenta que Sofía se encargaba de “pasar a limpio” los manuscritos de Tolstoi, no extraña que no se decidiera (o no se atreviera) a publicar el libro y que no pudiera ser leído hasta un siglo después. Esta historia de opresión y sufrimiento dentro de la institución matrimonial cobra estos días más importancia si cabe.
Siempre me ha resultado extraño el argumento de negacionistas y relativistas varios que disculpan o comprenden situaciones de opresión al alegar la supuesta inevitabilidad de ciertas mentalidades en otras épocas, como si Espartaco, Bartolomé de las Casas o Mary Wollstonecraft hubieran sido extraterrestres o viajeros en el tiempo. Sofia Tolstaia es otro ejemplo más de que la ideología del opresor no es la única existente.
El caso es que la novela no es ninguna maravilla porque de buenas intenciones tampoco se hace necesariamente buena literatura, pero creo que es necesario conocerla y leerla, sobre todo complementando la de Tolstói (sugerencia para clubes de lectura y similares). Hace poco comenté ‘Sonata a Kreutzer’ con un grupo de amigos que la habíamos leído al mismo tiempo con esa intención y la mayoría pensaba que tampoco era para tanto, por decirlo resumidamente.
May 14, 2023
J'ai lu ce journal pour la première fois lors de sa nouvelle sortie en français, soit en 2010. J'avais alors été profondément happée par la personnalité de Sophie et par l'hypocrisie du grand homme, son mari, qui prêchait l'amour dans le grand monde mais se montrait intraitable et égoïste vis-à-vis de sa femme et de sa famille.
Aujourd'hui, en le relisant avec mon bagage féministe, j'en suis encore plus éprouvée et secouée. Longtemps, on a dit que le couple Tolstoï était un couple "tumultueux" et que Sophie ne comprenait rien aux grands idéaux de son mari. Pour ma part, j'y ai plutôt vu une femme victime de violence psychologique qui n'a que son journal pour se défendre et qui sombre peu à peu dans le désespoir jusqu'à la tentation maintes fois répétées de se suicider - mais une femme à la force de caractère incroyable et qui continue, jusqu'au bout, d'accomplir son devoir envers tout le monde (elle a eu 16 grossesses, imaginez! Tolstoï prêchait l'abstinence, soit dit en passant...).
Parmi le lot de ses souffrances, il y a cette scène où il menace de la quitter pour toujours alors qu'elle est littéralement sur le point d'accoucher, qu'il claque la porte, qu'elle commence ses contractions dans la panique pour le voir ressurgir quatre heures plus tard, quasi en sifflotant et qu'elle lui demande pardon mais que lui s'en fiche complètement (Lui, dans son journal, écrit "Je dois porter ma croix jusqu'au bout".)
C'est 48 ans de gaslignting en fait, sur une femme qui avait nombre de talents et rêvait d'élévation spirituelle. Et, le plus déchirant, c'est qu'on sent l'amour qu'elle avait malgré tout pour Léo Nikolaievitch dans chacune de ses phrases. Bref, je prends parti pour Sophia, peu importe l'oeuvre de Tolstoï.
Aujourd'hui, en le relisant avec mon bagage féministe, j'en suis encore plus éprouvée et secouée. Longtemps, on a dit que le couple Tolstoï était un couple "tumultueux" et que Sophie ne comprenait rien aux grands idéaux de son mari. Pour ma part, j'y ai plutôt vu une femme victime de violence psychologique qui n'a que son journal pour se défendre et qui sombre peu à peu dans le désespoir jusqu'à la tentation maintes fois répétées de se suicider - mais une femme à la force de caractère incroyable et qui continue, jusqu'au bout, d'accomplir son devoir envers tout le monde (elle a eu 16 grossesses, imaginez! Tolstoï prêchait l'abstinence, soit dit en passant...).
Parmi le lot de ses souffrances, il y a cette scène où il menace de la quitter pour toujours alors qu'elle est littéralement sur le point d'accoucher, qu'il claque la porte, qu'elle commence ses contractions dans la panique pour le voir ressurgir quatre heures plus tard, quasi en sifflotant et qu'elle lui demande pardon mais que lui s'en fiche complètement (Lui, dans son journal, écrit "Je dois porter ma croix jusqu'au bout".)
C'est 48 ans de gaslignting en fait, sur une femme qui avait nombre de talents et rêvait d'élévation spirituelle. Et, le plus déchirant, c'est qu'on sent l'amour qu'elle avait malgré tout pour Léo Nikolaievitch dans chacune de ses phrases. Bref, je prends parti pour Sophia, peu importe l'oeuvre de Tolstoï.
January 29, 2021
Pequeña gran venganza de Sofía a cuenta de la ofensa recibida por la descripción descarnada de su vida matrimonial que realizó su marido Lev Tolstoi en La Sonata a Kreuzer
Qué poco se corresponde el talento artístico con la bondad...cuantos genios que en la intimidad son déspotas,egoístas y mezquinos.Mujeres qué al casarse pierden su vida creativa y pasan á ocuparse de hijos y familia....
Qué poco se corresponde el talento artístico con la bondad...cuantos genios que en la intimidad son déspotas,egoístas y mezquinos.Mujeres qué al casarse pierden su vida creativa y pasan á ocuparse de hijos y familia....
December 5, 2023
Leí la Sonata Kreutzer especialmente para leer este libro, quería entender mejor de qué iba, además de saber el contexto de por qué se escribió. Y creo que fue una muy buena idea, el libro es más interesante si se mira desde que es una respuesta a ese texto. De otra manera, sigue siendo bueno, pero no sé entiende bien a dónde va todo.
Como respuesta a la Sonata de su marido, Sofía escribe este texto para defender su punto y a ella misma, la Sonata fue interpretada como una crítica hacia ella, el público la tomó como que reflejaba la vida conyugal del Tolstoi, y si no era precisamente eso, si hay cosas que por lo menos el León pensaba, a saber, en la Sonata a Kreutzer se habla de lo horrible que son los matrimonios y de que la unión por el sexo es algo peor que una aberración contra lo bueno y natural, un poco predica la castidad absoluta y tiene sus tonos de superioridad moral a favor de los hombres, qye aún siendo unos degenerados, "caen" en la trampa de las mujeres porque además ellas, sabiendo que ellos son unos cochinos, las ponen especialmente. Además se sobreentiende que no es posible la unión entre parejas por medio del amor, sino como un estado que es "razonablemente necesario". Entonces Sofía se defiende con este texto, donde al parecer la unión entre un hombre y una mujer sí es posible a partir del amor, además de que se muestra como es que el marido distorsiona todo al rededor de la joven protagonista y termina por suprimir su alma. Creo que sin el contexto, el texto es un poco raro, de repente la protagonista tiene algo como epifanías donde cambia sin mucho más razón que sólo una idea, me parece que en ese punto pierde algo el texto, los personajes son llevados (como en todas las novelas) por donde quiere la autora, aunque por lo menos para mi, de maneras no muy naturales.
Sin embargo me parece buenísimo, me gustan mucho los diarios de Sofía, una figura que sin duda debería tener más relevancia en la historia de la literatura.
Como respuesta a la Sonata de su marido, Sofía escribe este texto para defender su punto y a ella misma, la Sonata fue interpretada como una crítica hacia ella, el público la tomó como que reflejaba la vida conyugal del Tolstoi, y si no era precisamente eso, si hay cosas que por lo menos el León pensaba, a saber, en la Sonata a Kreutzer se habla de lo horrible que son los matrimonios y de que la unión por el sexo es algo peor que una aberración contra lo bueno y natural, un poco predica la castidad absoluta y tiene sus tonos de superioridad moral a favor de los hombres, qye aún siendo unos degenerados, "caen" en la trampa de las mujeres porque además ellas, sabiendo que ellos son unos cochinos, las ponen especialmente. Además se sobreentiende que no es posible la unión entre parejas por medio del amor, sino como un estado que es "razonablemente necesario". Entonces Sofía se defiende con este texto, donde al parecer la unión entre un hombre y una mujer sí es posible a partir del amor, además de que se muestra como es que el marido distorsiona todo al rededor de la joven protagonista y termina por suprimir su alma. Creo que sin el contexto, el texto es un poco raro, de repente la protagonista tiene algo como epifanías donde cambia sin mucho más razón que sólo una idea, me parece que en ese punto pierde algo el texto, los personajes son llevados (como en todas las novelas) por donde quiere la autora, aunque por lo menos para mi, de maneras no muy naturales.
Sin embargo me parece buenísimo, me gustan mucho los diarios de Sofía, una figura que sin duda debería tener más relevancia en la historia de la literatura.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 24, 2025
The diaries Sofia Behrs Tolstoya from 1862 (her marriage) to 1919 (a month before her passing).
What a hard life. It was difficult to read her struggles with her husband’s “beliefs” and how she was just an instrument to his unhappiness in his point of view. It was a heartbreaking to see her lose her sanity and finding it again only after her husband’s death and her being able to idealize a life that was never ideal. I’m not sure when the happiness she talks of in retrospect even happened maybe (sceptical maybe) in the years she didn’t write her diary.
I am still a fan of Lev Tolstoy’s writings, but a human being, he was very very flawed maybe that’s what made him a good writer? I’m not sure I’m up to philosophizing about him at this point. I need to digest and put in perspective these diaries of Sofia, I do realize they are a personal point of view but with the notes I think the picture of the unhappiness these two wrought on each other is complete. Nice appendices with a narrative of important moments in Sofia lives written also by her.
I hope I have given a good idea on how starting this book is a journey, it is a hard read but I think for someone who wants to know more about the Tolstoys a good choice. Took me six months to read the first 200 pages and had to make myself read 10 pages a day for a month + to finish it. I would seriously not recommend this to someone who is dealing with mental struggles, I found it hard and I’m in a good place in my life now.
What a hard life. It was difficult to read her struggles with her husband’s “beliefs” and how she was just an instrument to his unhappiness in his point of view. It was a heartbreaking to see her lose her sanity and finding it again only after her husband’s death and her being able to idealize a life that was never ideal. I’m not sure when the happiness she talks of in retrospect even happened maybe (sceptical maybe) in the years she didn’t write her diary.
I am still a fan of Lev Tolstoy’s writings, but a human being, he was very very flawed maybe that’s what made him a good writer? I’m not sure I’m up to philosophizing about him at this point. I need to digest and put in perspective these diaries of Sofia, I do realize they are a personal point of view but with the notes I think the picture of the unhappiness these two wrought on each other is complete. Nice appendices with a narrative of important moments in Sofia lives written also by her.
I hope I have given a good idea on how starting this book is a journey, it is a hard read but I think for someone who wants to know more about the Tolstoys a good choice. Took me six months to read the first 200 pages and had to make myself read 10 pages a day for a month + to finish it. I would seriously not recommend this to someone who is dealing with mental struggles, I found it hard and I’m in a good place in my life now.
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August 27, 2024I cant rate this, and I dont want to. Its just a testimony of a young woman's suffering. Horrible, especially when juxtaposed her diary with leo tolstoy's thoughts.
I wanted to finished "Anna Karenina" one day, but it will be hard. I cant believe that kind of man is called as a great romance writer.
Sorry for Sofia:( and her children.
I wanted to finished "Anna Karenina" one day, but it will be hard. I cant believe that kind of man is called as a great romance writer.
Sorry for Sofia:( and her children.
May 22, 2023
Muy bueno y casi diría necesario.
November 17, 2024
Me gustó mucho. Creo que toda esta historia, tanto la novela como por qué se escribió hacen que este libro tenga su sentido y su valor.
Sofía lo escribió como respuesta al libro Sonata a Kreutzer de su marido Lev Tólstoi, después de que hiciera alusiones misóginas y de infidelidad en la obra (tendría que leerla para concretar).
Igualmente me parece importante el hecho de que tuvieran que pasar cien años para que se publicase esta novela, que se mantuvo oculta porque incluso el hijo de Sofía consideraba que empañaría la imagen de Lev Tolstói como autor universal.
Es una novela muy bien escrita acerca de la decepción del matrimonio en la búsqueda del amor conjunto y en la que Sofía refleja su visión acerca de su propio matrimonio, en un momento en el que las mujeres eran siempre las sombras de sus maridos.
Sofía Tolstaia fue una badass.
Sofía lo escribió como respuesta al libro Sonata a Kreutzer de su marido Lev Tólstoi, después de que hiciera alusiones misóginas y de infidelidad en la obra (tendría que leerla para concretar).
Igualmente me parece importante el hecho de que tuvieran que pasar cien años para que se publicase esta novela, que se mantuvo oculta porque incluso el hijo de Sofía consideraba que empañaría la imagen de Lev Tolstói como autor universal.
Es una novela muy bien escrita acerca de la decepción del matrimonio en la búsqueda del amor conjunto y en la que Sofía refleja su visión acerca de su propio matrimonio, en un momento en el que las mujeres eran siempre las sombras de sus maridos.
Sofía Tolstaia fue una badass.
June 30, 2017
Ah, l'anima russa, con i suoi smodati alti e bassi! Dunque, non era soltanto un'invenzione, non apparteneva soltanto a personaggi della letteratura, se possiamo ritrovare il suo andamento patologicamente bipolare (con i tanti 'sempre' e 'mai più', che il lettore vede smentiti di pagina in pagina) anche in questi Diari, appuntati dalla moglie del grande Tolstoy nei quarant'anni della loro turbinosa vita matrimoniale.
Andata sposa giovanissima ad un uomo già pieno di esperienza, Sofia dovette certamente risentire del grande dislivello di cultura, sensibilità, libertà d'azione esistente tra loro. Eppure, nonostante il vittimismo che serpeggia di tanto in tanto (ma quale diario ne è esente?) io non ho avuto la percezione che, finché durò la sua giovinezza (e fin oltre i settant'anni del suo passionale compagno) Sofia sia stata davvero infelice, non più di quanto non potesse esserlo ogni donna del suo tempo, destinata dal suo ruolo sociale a infinite maternità e cure familiari, esposta alla morte o alla cattiva riuscita dei tanti figli.
No, non riesco a condividere la convinzione (ispirata da un certo femminismo militante), che domina la 'Prefazione' di Doris Lessing. La figura che emerge da queste pagine fin dal primo anno di matrimonio è ben capace di tener testa al grande scrittore; anzi, qua e là veste i panni di una bisbetica tutt'altro che domata, di una ottocentesca Santippe...
Andata sposa giovanissima ad un uomo già pieno di esperienza, Sofia dovette certamente risentire del grande dislivello di cultura, sensibilità, libertà d'azione esistente tra loro. Eppure, nonostante il vittimismo che serpeggia di tanto in tanto (ma quale diario ne è esente?) io non ho avuto la percezione che, finché durò la sua giovinezza (e fin oltre i settant'anni del suo passionale compagno) Sofia sia stata davvero infelice, non più di quanto non potesse esserlo ogni donna del suo tempo, destinata dal suo ruolo sociale a infinite maternità e cure familiari, esposta alla morte o alla cattiva riuscita dei tanti figli.
No, non riesco a condividere la convinzione (ispirata da un certo femminismo militante), che domina la 'Prefazione' di Doris Lessing. La figura che emerge da queste pagine fin dal primo anno di matrimonio è ben capace di tener testa al grande scrittore; anzi, qua e là veste i panni di una bisbetica tutt'altro che domata, di una ottocentesca Santippe...
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