Be My Baby: How I Survived Mascara, Miniskirts, and Madness, or My Life As a Fabulous Ronette

by Ronnie Spector, Vince Waldron, Cher (Foreword)

Ronnie and Phil Spector made music history with the Ronettes, but as Phil's creative powers began to wane, their marriage soured. He became increasingly reclusive and violent, and Ronnie's life became a constant battle to fend off madness-both his and her own.

Genres: Music, Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography, Biography Memoir, Autobiography, Audiobook

318 pages, Hardcover

First published September 12, 1990

About the author

Veronica Greenfield, known as Ronnie Spector, was an American singer who formed the girl group the Ronettes in 1957 with her elder sister Estelle Bennett and their cousin Nedra Talley. Bennett fronted the group while record producer Phil Spector produced the majority of their output. - Wikipedia

Reviews

[Tim Null · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such beautiful music. Such a sad life.

[*TUDOR^QUEEN* · Rating 5 out of 5]

Five Stars

Ronnie Spector was never on my radar as a point of interest, except indirectly. As a huge Beatles fan, last year I read a new Beatles book which recounted a story about John Lennon pursuing Ronnie romantically when The Beatles first took America by storm in 1964. I'm also a big Beach Boys fan, and leader Brian Wilson was obsessed by The Ronettes' Phil Spector produced megahit "Be My Baby" and considered it the most perfect pop song. I also knew that Ronnie was married to Phil Spector and that he was a nut case. This was recounted in various Beatles books as they employed this producer and his wall of sound techniques to rescue their shabby "Let it Be" recordings. John Lennon and George Harrison also used him to produce their solo albums. He was known to brandish a gun in the recording studio. Phil Spector was also convicted in later years of shooting/murdering actress Lana Clarkson. So, I finally decided to request an arc of this book in the hope of reading a good story. Well, it was quite an interesting ride!

This book was originally published in 1990, but is now being re-released with an updated Epilogue chapter that was only fine tuned weeks ago in January 2022. This is especially poignant because Ronnie Spector died just a week ago. How wonderful that this musical icon resurrected her memoir from 30 years ago to bring it full circle at the apex of her life. This is touted as one of the greatest musical autobiographies, and I now see why. I plowed through this within a few days-unheard of for me. Ronnie unabashedly told the story of her rise to fame, horrendous marriage to producer Phil Spector, struggles with alcohol addiction and depression, career longevity and its challenges, romantic dalliances, etc. Her prose is free flowing, honest and easy and such a pleasure to read. This is one of the best rock biographies I have read. It's like Ronnie left behind a gift for us all.

Thank you to the publisher Henry Holt and Co. for providing an advance reader copy via NetGalley.

[Katie B · Rating 4 out of 5]

Be My Baby is one of those iconic songs and works perfectly as the title for Ronnie Spector's memoir. Originally published in 1990, this edition includes a postscript in which she gives an update on her life since the book first came out. Sadly, Ronnie passed away a few months after writing the postscript. Her memoir is full of stories of her career in music as well as her personal life and it's certainly a worthwhile read.

Ronnie was the lead singer of the girl group, The Ronettes. They finally were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2007. Ronnie married music producer, Phil Spector, back in the late 1960s. Thankfully she was able to escape that horrible man and marriage. She battled addiction over the years but she was able to come out on top and experience love and happiness for a good portion of her life.

Ronnie went through some dark times but there's really something beautiful about the fact that when she stepped on stage she got to live out her dream. She fed off the energy of the audience and was a top notch performer with an incredible voice. I loved hearing about the passion she had for entertaining a crowd. It was interesting to learn about the various friendships she had with people like Cher, John Lennon, and Keith Richards. I give her credit for opening up about her past with her ex-husband as I'm sure rehashing those old memories couldn't have been easy. In general, she was pretty forthright in this accounting of her life and that's why it was a fascinating read.

Thank you to Henry Holt and Co. for providing me with a copy! All thoughts expressed are my honest opinion.

[Leo · Rating 5 out of 5]

I must admit I didn't know who Ronnie Spector was before listening to this audiobook but for some reason I just had to give it ago, problem the cover. I was completely hooked on her telling the story of her life and I had so many feelings while listening to this.one of the best listening experience of the year. Didn't knew she had passed before writing this review

[Martin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very fast, compulsive read. A real page turner. I'm one of the biggest Ronnie Spector fans, but I didn't know what to expect. She has some crazy stories about Phil and about her alcoholism, but she presents everything as matter-of-fact. Her writing does not dwell on self-pity or her constant passivity even when she, as a character, is mired in them. What I find refreshing is that she never bashes Phil Spector, even though it would be so easy. The way she described their early professional relationship it is easy to see how she developed feelings for him. She admits that nobody around her understood what she saw in him, but she conveys her admiration of him very well to the reader. Once he becomes abusive, she describes all the signs that in hindsight should have warned her, if only she hadn't been so young, insecure and in love. She never blames anyone but herself, and even when she succumbs to Phil's mindgames and sabotage, she takes responsibility for her reactions to him.
She has some wild stories, such as her various encounters with John Lennon who first tries to romance her in London, later sidles up to Phil and sits in on the session for her Apple Records flop, then appears at her divorce trial as a guest of Phil, and later befriend her in New York to the degree that Ronnie maintained a friendship with May Pang after John went back to Yoko. Also notable is Ronnie's friendship with Cher, already noted in Darlene Love's bio, whose marriage to Sonny Bono parallels Ronnie's marriage, except that Cher did not lose herself and was therefore better equipped to reinvent herself time and again. And the one night stand with Bowie is brief but memorable. I really can't recommend this book enough to anyone who has ever loved girls group music or the Wall of Sound.

[Alanna Why · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty wild that Ronnie Spector accidentally sets a bed on fire by falling asleep with a lit cigarette not once, but twice in this. ALSO PHIL SPECTOR IS A PIECE OF SHIT!

[Lisa Porter-Smith · Rating 2 out of 5]

After watching the recently released Tina Turner documentary I fell down a bit of a 60s female icons rabbit whole which led me to Ronnie’s biography.

I hate to say it but I found her insufferable and I had to drag myself through this book. I enjoyed an insight into the 1960s, my favourite era for music and fashion, but Ronnie personally I just couldn’t stomach.

I’m not going to say much about her relationship with Phil Spector as I think most people know enough about Phil and the type of man he was already so let’s discuss some other things.

The majority of the book takes place in the 60s & 70s of course but was written in the 90s. You would be forgiven for thinking this book was from the 60s though with several racist comments regarding Chinese people and constant fat phobia references.

“My sister Estelle couldn’t possibly rejoin the Ronettes...she’d gained 30 pounds!!”

“X was a big, fat backing singer who always made me laugh.”

Ronnie also refers to how utterly gorgeous and unbelievably talented she was/is at least every second page. How men fell in love with her constantly and every glance she gets from any man is because she was just so sexy and irresistible. I’m all for a women feeling themselves but when this is interspersed with fat phobic comments about others it starts to rub the wrong way. Or bitchy comments about Liza Minelli (who looked at her the wrong way once) & Diana Ross (whom she doesn’t appear to have ever met).

The Ronette’s were great but Ronnie holds her talent in such absurdly high regard. She talks about sitting with Cher and how people must have seen them together and thought, “Look at those two rock and rolls queens!” I imagine everyone was probably looking at Cher since Ronnie hadn’t had a hit in several years at this point. She also has a hissy fit about two men excitedly discussing a Supremes concert they are going to in front of her. Do they not know that SHE is Ronnie Spector and Diana Ross has nothing on her?? Literally that’s almost a word for word quote.

DIANA ROSS and CHER! Come on Ronnie!

Everybody was utterly obsessed with her amazing voice apparently. The Beatles, Elvis, Bruce Springsteen. & they all wanted to fuck her of course. Even if she could only tell that because they “gave her a look”.

I honestly don’t even know where to start when it comes to discussing her children. She adopts a baby that is only a few weeks old because she saw and advert for him on the TV. She immediately turns up at the agency and can’t believe she can’t just take the baby home right then and there. She laments that adoption was soooo much more difficult back then. I mean she had to wait a whole month before she could finally adopt the baby! Not to mention the fact that Phil Spector adopts two twins for her as a surprise gift for Christmas. So no Ronnie, it really wasn’t that hard to adopt a baby in the 60s.

When she leaves Phil she leaves the 3 kids behind. She then has nothing to do with the twins for the rest of her life but sees the first boy once a month. That is until she gets a call from the police to say he’s ran away from his home with father Phil Spector because he was being starved and emotionally abused.

This seems to be a shock to Ronnie despite her knowing first hand what Phil is like and spending time with her son every month. The son comes to live with her after that. He is 10 years old. She says she is shocked how much money it takes to raise a child. Why is it a shock Ronnie? You’ve been his mother for 10 YEARS.

By the time he is 11 the son leaves to go live with his grandmother, Phil’s mother, because Ronnie is an alcoholic, obsessed with her failed career and mostly absent. She then laments on and on about how her son “left her” and “it isn’t just boyfriends and husbands who can break your heart”. This poor little boy adopted on a whim from a TV advert and then basically neglected by both his parents broke HER heart??

She also drones on about wanting to be a mother once she’s in her mid 30s. That maybe she can cope with her failed career if she can redeem herself by become a Mum. Ronnie...YOU HAVE A SON. You adopted him over a decade ago now! He doesn’t seem to count now apparently.

When she does have her first biological son it is at 7 months and he is just over 2lbs. She shares a room in the hospital with another mother who is complaining that she’s in so much pain after given birth. Ronnie smugly says she feels fine and doctor “didn’t even have to do any stitches”. Yes Ronnie because your baby was hugely premature and tiny! Have some empathy for your fellow new Mum!

Ronnie clearly faced challenges in her life, Phil Spector being the greatest of them, but she is so full of self pity and self obsession that it’s difficult to empathise with her beyond her situation with Phil. I loved hearing about the 60s music scene and can’t wait to read Tina Turner’s biography for more insight. I’ll always love “Be My Baby” but I’m sorry Ronnie, you personally are just not my cup of tea.

[Karyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ronnie Spector will always have a place in music history and her voice is so distinctive and fresh to this day.

[Julie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just kill me. This book! I had to force myself to finish it. I thought I was going to be reading a fun, wacky memoir of a rock singer from the sixties but what I read was the memoir of a severely emotionally abused woman who became an alcoholic in order to cope with the hell of her life. I needed a stiff drink just reading about it. I can certainly see why she drank. Honestly, I was surprised she didn't start sooner. It reminded me of a memoir I read a few years ago about the teenage abused wife of a Mormon fundamentalist/polygamist. The same isolation, mental exhaustion, despair, hopelessness. Ugh. I can't even.

Throughout the reading of this book I kept wondering how Ronnie's life & career would have been different if she hadn't gotten involved with that douchebag extraordinaire Phil Spector. Her private life? Obviously a million times better. I'm hard pressed to think of a man worse than Phil to have gotten involved with. Charles Manson? George C Scott? It's a pretty short list of men who would make a more terrible boyfriend/husband than Phil.

As for her career, yes Phil did produce several hits for her but with her talent I think anyone could have gotten the same results. Oh, there were so many missed opportunities at the beginning, before Ronnie was locked up in that spooky mansion. My mouth literally dropped open when I read how The Beatles - The Beatles! - wanted Ronnie to open for them on tour and Phil said no AND RONNIE ACQUIESCED!!!! WTF Ronnie.

Ronnie explained why she stayed with Phil for so long - low, I mean LOW, self-esteem, fear of poverty/the need to support multiple family members, no good roles models of healthy relationships growing up, the rapidly changing music scene of the sixties where many of her musical peers became has-beens/washed up, her (to me incredible) empathy she had for Phil's struggles in childhood - but I still had such a hard time accepting that she chose to stay with him. It was difficult to pick up the book and read because I knew how frustrated I would get. He wouldn't let her read magazines?! What?! Why?! And why does she go along with such a stupid rule? And there were just so many ridiculous things like that.

I considered when would I have broken it off with Phil, assuming I was in Ronnie's place. (Not that I would have ever found him appealing in the first place - shiver) I think the big warning/idea I need to break this off would have been when Ronnie found out The Rolling Stones had been threatened by Phil and told to not even speak to Ronnie while they were all on tour together. WHAT. Don't tell me who I can & can't speak to. Especially people I am currently working with. The final straw for me would have been when Phil forbade Ronnie to fly home to the States on The Beatles private jet. Not in a bazillion years would I have said ok to that request but Ronnie did and got surprised when she watched The Beatles landing on TV a few days later and there was Phil, getting off the jet with them. OH MAN. Just blind rage!

The main result of reading this book is that I can now state with 100% certainty Phil is guilty of the murder of that actress. No way was it an accident or a suicide. Ugh, those are such Phil excuses, deflecting the blame on the person he is attacking. He better not ever get out of prison.To me, the biggest shock is that it took Phil until 2003 to actually murder someone. He is a full blown sociopath. Ronnie is lucky he didn't kill her before she escaped (barefoot because Phil had taken all her shoes so she couldn't leave - ACK. I cannot make this shit up)

[Anina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Phil Spector is a murderous douche. Ronnie's great, of course.

A lot of your reviews say she sounds self centered...but it's an autobiography of a successful woman, so duh, I bet you wouldn't say that if she were a man! Get out of here with that nonsense. There's some really interesting stuff about how different the music industry used to be. Don't forget to read the introduction by Billy Joel!!!

[jess · Rating 5 out of 5]

the 2021 postscript hit me like a fucking bus

[CarolG · Rating 4 out of 5]

After Ronnie Spector died of cancer in 2022 this book, originally published in 1990, was re-released with an updated epilogue written by Ronnie just before she died, and my local library got copies so I put it on hold. With one thing and another the hold expired and I didn't bother renewing it. Recently we were watching Homicide: Los Angeles and one of the episodes was about Phil Spector which renewed my interest in his story. I suppose I should've looked for a book about him since he was the one I was interested in but I got this one from the library instead. The first half of the book covered the early years of Ronnie and the Ronettes and it was interesting but not very exciting (to me). Once she met and married Phil Spector it got a lot more interesting so I enjoyed the second half a lot more. She certainly went through some awful times with him as well as her drinking which I wasn't aware of previously. The book is very well written and a smooth read. It took me a long time because, as usual, I had too many books with deadlines on the go. I listened to some of her recordings while I was reading and she really had a big voice. I remember some of her hits but not all. Pretty good for a memoir.

Thanks to the London Public Library for the loan of this book.

[Linden · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ronnie's memoir was originally published in 1990, but has been re-released and updated apparently shortly before she died. Ronnie tells us about her career with the Ronettes--three girls, two sisters and a cousin, from Spanish Harlem. They were thrilled when they attracted the attention of Phil Spector, who helped them at first. Even though he was talented, he was an abusive monster who kept Ronnie prisoner in their mansion until her mom helped her to escape. Eventually, she got her life back together after many challenges. Recommended for anyone who likes music biographies, or just wants to read about a strong woman. Thanks to Edelweiss and the publisher for the ARC.

[Brigid Maguire · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was sooo interesting and I just kept wanting to pick it up! I’m so glad and it’s so important that Ronnie got to share her own story. I will say, the brief Puff Daddy concert mention at the end was a jump scare lol

[Gary Anderson]

Ronnie Spector was one of rock’s great vocalists, and one of of rock’s great career tragedies. Her story is necessarily entwined with that of the diabolically psychotic producer Phil Spector who made Ronnie a star, married her, and then controlled her life and sabotaged her career. Be My Baby is a sex-drugs-and-rocknroll story, although the “drugs” part of it mostly involves alcohol. The beauty and power of Ronnie and The Ronettes is explained, and Phil Spector gets his due for that, but the what-might-have-been overshadows the lost years of Ronnie’s career. I loved Ronnie’s stories about The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Elvis Presley, Bruce Springsteen, and other rockers she worked and played with. Originally published in 1990, Be My Baby was updated with a new afterword by Ronnie Spector shortly before her death in 2022. If you want to read this book, be sure to get ahold of the updated version.

[theperksofbeingmarissa ;) · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the best celebrity autobiographies I’ve ever read! Ronnie gives a very detailed description about what life was like for a Black up and coming girl group in the sixties.

Though it hurt to read, I appreciated her vulnerability with us as she described the emotional terror Phil Spector put her though. He can burn in hell though. 🔥🔥🔥🔥

There are so many beautiful parts of this book. I especially loved Ronnie’s relationship with her mom. She was such a caring person, and I am glad she was able to help Ronnie flee from Spector too. I almost cried at the end when she described how happy she was with motherhood. She deserved a happy ending, and I’m so happy she got it!

I took off a star because I wish we got a better understanding of Ronnie’s relationship with Nedra and Estelle. I know Ronnie said after the group disbanded they fell out of touch, but did anyone try to help Estelle with her mental health? I did not hear much about her, and it was heartbreaking to learn of how she passed. I don’t know if I missed a part or something in the book, but I’m curious.

[Susan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have such mixed feelings about this book. One the one hand, Ronnie Spector was definitely a victim of spousal abuse. But on the other hand, her alcoholism and abandonment of 3 children was hard to stomach. She constantly made excuses for her behavior and generally blamed everyone around her for her own bad decisions. Plus, I never understood her attraction to the ultra-creepy Phil Spector. Even when I was a kid, just looking at photos of him made my skin crawl.

[Devika · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I heard they were making a movie about the extraordinary life of the lady who sang Be My Baby (which by the way was one of my top-listened-to tracks through the first year of the old 'Rona) I thought well dang good luck casting someone with that voice. Then I read this memoir and realized that might be the last of their concerns because this book is speckled with a number of small timey acts that might be just a little challenging to cast. It shouldn’t be hard to show Ronnie spector making breakfast at George Harrison’s apartment, sharing lipsticks with Diana Ross, friendzoning John Lennon (I have so many feelings about this), sitting in Cher’s convertible, having an affair with David Bowie (I wrote a 2 page journal entry about this), eating scrambled eggs with the Rolling Stones, clubbing with Bob Dylan and crying in the bathroom with Darlene Love right? I’ve never been less jealous of a casting director. Musical divinity aside, this story is about a woman who wore her heart on her sleeve and lived her life in her own terms till her very end- a rock and roll star through and through. Despite the absolute horror show her life sometimes became, she had the most brilliant spirit. No Sensitive Sue could have made it out alive through the things she faced. I’m not a big believer in binary afterlife constructs but I sure hope Phil Spector’s room in hell doesn’t have a poster of Lenny Bruce. In fact, I hope it has one of his own unsightly, skanky reptilian head so he can barf his way into a glorious afterlife death.

[Armand Rosamilia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Imagine what her life would have been without Ronnie Spector in it. While she might not have risen to the levels of fame she had, she might have been mentally better than she ended up being with him. Her life story is interesting, with lots of highs and lows.

[Michael · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ronnie Spector was a talented singer at a young age who worked very hard at her craft. Her initial claim to fame was both boosted and dismantled by the absolutely crazy Phil Spector. Her fame was relatively short lived with occasional peaks over the years. I did find it amazing that she was friends with and or toured with so many other musicians - The Beatles, The Rolling Stones (Mick & Keith used to go to her mother's house anytime they were in New York early on), Cher, Eddie Money, etc. Why she stayed with Phil Spector as long as she did is beyond me. Then of course there was the alcohol addiction which she eventually put to rest. Not a bad autobiography. Thanks to Goodreads for the copy of the book to read and review.

[WM D. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Be my baby by Ronnie Spector was a very good rock and roll memoir. The book tells the story of her upbringing in Spanish Harlem and her career as a Ronette . It also goes into detail how Phil Spector kept her prisoner and how she eventually escaped from him with the help of her mom. In the end she thrived .

[aki · Rating 4 out of 5]

zendaya is actually going to be perfect as ronnie i can't wait for the movie this woman lived such a life

[Dominic Anton · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favorite book. Ever. Ronnie is a rock n roll legend and will be dearly missed and remembered for generations. Her story is unlike any other and there will never be a story like hers again.

[Sennen Rose · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tore through this in a day while on the clock which is one of the best ways to read a book. I’ve got quite an old edition, I think it’s from about 2004? When they re release it to tie in with the Zendaya movie I’ll buy that, I’m sure one of her sons wrote an afterword.

God, what a life. What a woman. That voice! That hair! This is so, so compelling and so funny and charming. She writes so tenderly about Phil Spector! One thing I would like to know: what the hell happened to those twins?!

Zendaya is going to win an Oscar for playing Ronnie and we will all just have to live with that. Who do we want to play Phil Spector? I like Jeremy Allen White or Barry Keoghan for it, personally.

Be My Baby is the greatest pop song of all time, just so we’re clear.

[Christie Hancock · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the dirty details with John Lennon and David Bowie. The Steve van Zandt drop by (I like lil Stevie). And seeing truly how insane Phil is. And how the story ends with her feeling depressed about another record flop, but her two (biological) kids make her realize there is more to life.
Overall I feel like she was waiting around for someone to help her a lot of the time.
Phil was SO BAD. So interesting to see when you really appreciate his records. Btw—he started to wear a toupee in his early 20s even in bed.

[Becky Foster · Rating 5 out of 5]

5⭐. A great celebrity memoir if there ever was one! A perfect blend of industry stories and personal ones. What a life! I first became more interested in Ronnie after I read Keith Richards' memoir and he spoke so highly of their close friendship. She returned the favor in her book, and there's plenty of other rock stars mentioned, as well. The audiobook was amazing, as it was enthusiastically narrated by Rosie Perez!

[Rich Iurilli · Rating 5 out of 5]

The GOAT

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing story and also the most harrowing childbirth scene I’ve ever read!

[Dave Van Rompaye · Rating 4 out of 5]

4,5*. about R&R, about music, about having a voice and having that voice taken away from you, about Spector and his crazy shit, about being a woman in that time, about conquering all that shit and slaying it. Ronnie is a queen.

[Lukakje · Rating 5 out of 5]

T beste boek dat ik dit jaar heb gelezen (!!!).
Ze had echt een zwaar leven jeetje :(