A Twisted Bard's Tale

by Selena Kitt

Did you ever wonder what started the feud between the Capulets and the Montagues? Check out this naughty version of Romeo and Juliet--you'll be surprised and delighted by this twisted Bard's tale! ( This title is a fun, erotic short)

Genres: Erotica, Romance, Historical, Lesbian, LGBT, Fiction, Novella

29 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2008

About the author

Selena Kitt is a NEW YORK TIMES bestselling and award-winning author of erotic and romance fiction. She is one of the highest selling erotic writers in the business with over two million books sold!

Her writing embodies everything from the spicy to the scandalous, but watch out-this kitty also has sharp claws and her stories often include intriguing edges and twists that take readers to new, thought-provoking depths.

When she’s not pawing away at her keyboard, Selena runs an innovative publishing company (www.excessica.com) and bookstore (www.excitica.com), as well as two erotica and erotic romance promotion companies (www.excitesteam.com and www.excitespice.com) and is now head of the Erotica Readers and Writers Association (www.erotica-readers.com).

Her books EcoErotica (2009), The Real Mother Goose (2010) and Heidi and the Kaiser (2011) were all Epic Award Finalists. Her only gay male romance, Second Chance, won the Epic Award in Erotica in 2011. Her story, Connections, was one of the runners-up for the 2006 Rauxa Prize, given annually to an erotic short story of “exceptional literary quality.”

She can be reached on her website at www.selenakitt.com

Reviews

[Exina · Rating 2 out of 5]

Yeah, it was twisted... an alternative version of Romeo and Juliet. It gives a new interpretation to the feud between the houses of Capulet and Montague.

Well, great concept, but poorly executed. No characterization, thin background story. Too short!

The level of erotica is mild, but intimate and lovely.

"Love will not be denied, no matter from whence it came."
"Never where it is bidden, it seems."
They closed their eyes and slept together for a while, a Capulet and a Montague, with a plague creeping toward both their houses.

[William G. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Though I have always been a lifelong fan of classic literature, Shakespeare has never been one to truly catch my attention. Had he wrote more like Selena Kitt, I am sure I would be reading him a lot more often! A Twisted Bard's Tale is a cute little story with a delightful little premise! What if a lesbian relationship between the mothers of Romeo and Juliet are responsible for the feud between their families? As this was a free short story, one does not go into the work expecting the depth of character development that would be found in a full length novel. With that said, the premise of the story would make for a delightful reworking of the Shakespeare tale told from someone else's perspective with all the juicy details provided at length! If I had to place a negative on this work, it would be that like others have stated, it is just a little too short, but I am not apt to fault this piece too much being the work stems from very early in the author's writing career and presents itself as a fairly solid start to the multitude of great works Ms. Kitt has produced since!

[Lance Greenfield · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although I quite liked this story, and it is labelled as a short story, I thought that it was just a little too short. Just when it seemed to be picking up some substance, and I was having thoughts of what might follow, it stopped. It was almost as if somebody had switched the lights off.

The language used in the writing is archaic, but that may be intentional; to build the atmosphere.

The sex is warm, verging on hot.

Really, all that I can say is that it is something of nothing: a pleasant little story, designed to titillate. Perhaps it is meant to be an appetizer to tempt me into reading more of Selena Kitt's work. Well, I was going to do that anyway, and have already downloaded some of her other books, so that was pointless.

However, it is a freebie, doesn't take more than a few minutes of your time to read, so perhaps you should just do that and decide for yourselves.

[Zemira Warner · Rating 2 out of 5]

A prequel to Romeo and Juliet. Their mothers are doing it. LOL

[Chelsea · Rating 1 out of 5]

Welp. It was free.

Look, without being too graphic, I can safely say as a card carrying lesbian that vaginal fluids (barring female ejaculation, which is A Thing) are never going to be so prolific that they can saturate the front of one's gown. Like, I'm cool with a little suspension of disbelief. And I get that this is a teaser, designed to entice readers to seek more of her work. I just think the best sex has some conflict, insecurity, emotional whatevers, etc. Maybe the "forbidden sapphic desire" thing doesn't do it for me anymore. It's not *that* forbidden; it my Tuesday. I'm a newb when it comes to erotica or romantic erotica, but there can be something that makes a particular scene or coupling extra enticing beyond "oh we're two women and blah blah blah..." I think that if this spin and tone is going to be pulled off properly, it's got to be presented with some anticipation, frustration, longing looks across the pews as mass on Sundays, something like that.

[Jennifer Wardrip · Rating 4 out of 5]

A TWISTED BARD'S TALE is a very, very, VERY short erotic lesbian tale. Ladies Montague and Capulet may be the mothers of Romeo and Juliet, respectively, but they are still women with desires. And what they desire the most is each other. Meeting whenever they can in secret, the lovers are at the mercy of their husbands. I really enjoyed this short, hot tale. My only complaint is that I wish it had at least been a 25-30,000 word novella, so that the ladies and their relationship could be more deeply explored. But this tale worked in getting me to add Selena Kitt to my list of authors to look for, so an overall winner.

[Aղցela W. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Review Coming

[Alex is The Romance Fox · Rating 2 out of 5]

Yikes, Shakespeare would be pulling his hair out if he was still around!!!!!!!!!!!!
What...Romeo & Juliet were not the cause of the Capulet & Montague feud but the wives!!!!!!!!

Can I be totally honest???

This rather short tale just did not do it for me. It was like reading one f/f sex scene...hot naturally...but after a while these two "wenches" got a bit...well more than a bit...boring.........

[Sammy Loves Books · Rating 3 out of 5]

We've all heard of Romeo Montagues and Juliet Capulet. Well this is a short erotic tale of a secret love affair that took place between their families long before Romeo and Juliet ever met. This is all female on female, so if that isn't your thing, this isn't the story for you. As one would expect Selena Kitt, the erotica is sizzling.

[Lindley Walter-smith · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, the characters have sex. It's fairly well written sex. There's a decent attempt at in-period dialogue. There's not much else to say, except that I don't share the author's idea that breastfeeding is a turn on. A lot of the page count is promotion for the author's other books, but then, it was free.

[Elizabeth (Stuffed Shelves) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a different version of the classic story of young Romeo and Juliet. What if things had been different? Maybe a more naughty and dirty version of the story we all thought we were familiar with. Things get heated up in this twisted tale, you'll never think of the story the same.

[Noor · Rating 2 out of 5]

it was ok very short but an interesting twist to the story of romeo and juliet

[Robert Beveridge · Rating 3 out of 5]

Selena Kitt, A Twisted Bard's Tale (Excessica Publishing, 2008)

I am a big-huge-monstrous fan of Selena Kitt's writing, and I've never made any secret of that in my reviews. Which makes it even more painful when I read something of hers and say “wow, I didn't like this much.” Thankfully, it's only ever happened the once, and maybe it'll never happen again. This short reimagines the earlier days of Romeo and Juliet in a world where the grande (but ever so much younger than we see them usually depicted) dames of the Montague and Capulet families have been carrying on an illicit affair since their schoolgirl days. Nothing earth-shattering. Nothing even mildly unsafe, to be honest, and I think that may have been part of my problem with it, however minor a part it may have been. It took me a few days of mulling to put my finger on the problem I DID have with it, though. I finally came up with it last night: the archaic language used here, while certainly meant to provide part of the story's atmosphere, actually does the opposite. I should probably rush to add that I'm not sure anyone who didn't study Shakespeare in school may not even notice this (and by “study” I don't mean “have assigned in a random English class”, I mean “take a class where you don't do anything but study Shakespeare”). Just in case I'm wrong, however, I'll caution you to start with other, set-in-the-modern-day, Kitt stories and get to this one once you're an already-established fan. ** ½

[Lance · Rating 4 out of 5]

Romeo and Juliet might not have had so many problems getting together had these two ladies not been caught enjoying a torrid session by their husbands, thus igniting the Montague v.Capulet feud. This short story picks up on another encounter of the two ladies later after Juliet is gone...and it is well written for both the love felt between them and the lust. Ms.Kitt does well with this theme. I just wish it was longer....or part of a series of short stories in order to fully understand both of the ladies as well as develop this theory of the feud. Overall a good read but it left me not only wanting more, but feeling that I have been cheated since there is so much more that can be written

[Melissa Levine · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not a fan of this one. Just seemed too cheesy for me.

What was with the author always referring to "Lady Capulet and Lady Montague" as "THE Lady Capulet?" It just didn't sound right to me.

A few phrases that seemed questionable to me:

"Her juices flowing thick and copious, soaking the front of the other woman's gown..." (That just sounds gross. There was that much fluid prior to orgasm?)

"Nothing could compare to the soft, gentle, tender lapping lusciousness of the two of them together." (I don't think that sentence even makes sense.)

"Catherine's hand was drenched to the wrist, her fingers puckered like a prune from the wetness." (Again, with that much fluid? And how long was her hand in the others crotch?)

[Mummy's Naughty Corner · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cover :- 3 stars
Sex/steaminess :- 3 stars
Story line :- 4 stars
Characters :- 3 stars
Overall rating :- 3.25 stars

Personal rating :- 3 stars

Book Pairing:- FF/F
Did it give me a book hangover :- No
Is this a review book or personal read :- Personal Read

Why I chose this book?

I've tried Selena's work before and I wanted to read some more.

What I liked about this book.

* It's a concept I've never thought about before.
* The storyline had great promise.

What I didn't like about this book.

* It was a bit too short. I felt that there could have been more.

Would I read more from this author?

Yes

Would I recommend this book?

Only if you really want a very short read.

[Frankie Ness · Rating 3 out of 5]

More on Talk Supe

This is an erotic take on the classic Shakespearean play, Romeo and Juliet. In this version, the missus are the reason behind the rivalry between the houses that ended tragically for their children. Ladies Capulet and Montague can't stay away from each other and just like horny teens, they sneak around to ease their yearning and seek fulfillment from each other that apparently their husbands can't give them. This is a 10 minute read.

[Melissa Wehunt · Rating 3 out of 5]

If there is one thing about Selena Kitt, it is that she writes the most interesting erotic fiction out there. In my humble opinion that is. :) This wasn't my favorite story of hers though. Mainly because I'm not into f/f stories. I need a man in their. What i did like about this one was its premise. I don't want to ruin the suprise, but lets just say that it gives new insight into Montague/Capulet feud. ;) At least I will never look at Romeo and Juliet ever the same.

[Karry · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was diffinatly was a twisted tale. I never would have thought of making the mothers of the two star-crossed lovers to be lovers themselves. I guess that would make the male heads of family hate each other. I didn't hate it, but it isn't one I will add to my long list of favorites. It wasn't involved enough. It was just "Here it is, here it was, and thats why..." kind of a story. There just wasn't enough substance for me.

[Heather · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ummmokay, super short. Felt like a teaser or excerpt from a longer story. A new twist to the Romeo and Juliet tale. Kids are not the cause of the fued but their mothers lesbian relationship with each other is.......

Honestly didn't like it was just to short for me to get into. I did however like the authors take on the reason behind the fued.

[Allison · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting reason for the Shakespearean Capulets vs Montague feud. The story is a bit short. I would have enjoyed more intimate scenes between the characters. The erotica content was not as hot as it could have been considering elicit affair. Also the sex scenes seemed a bit off, likely as it was trying to fit the time period.

[Scoobyfan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely worth the few minutes it takes to read this short story. I love the spin on the feud between the Capulets and the Montagues. Very clever twist on an age-old story. And to think Romeo and Juliet were the first star-crossed lovers...whatever!

[NaiNai · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not nearly as well written as "Taken", whether in terms of plot, characterization, background, backstory, or description. I bought this one because it was by the same author as "Taken", and was quite disappointed in the sudden decrease in quality.

[Courtney · Rating 1 out of 5]

Romeo and Juliet's moms are having an affair, and have been for years. Last time they got caught it casued the feud between their families - apparently an excuse for their husbands to keep them from seeing each other. Not very good - mostly just lesbian sex with a very thin and undeveloped 'plot'.

[Sassafrass · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very hot f/f read. A very unique take on the feud between the Capulets and the Montagues. I think it would have made Romeo and Juliet more interesting to me in the high school if it had been a part of the original play. LMAO.

[Shadow Jubilee · Rating 2 out of 5]

1.5 - 2 stars

I thought that this had a very interesting twist on a famous Shakespeare play, but the sex scene was boring and the dialogue/attempted Shakespearean language was eye-roll worthy.

[Gerald · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely worth the read. A short tale, with a nice twist on what REALLY created the feud between the the Montagues and The Capulets. A nice spicy dash of erotica, the only quibble I had, was I would have liked more, but that's what Selena Kitt does best, leaves you wanting more!

[LaShawnna · Rating 2 out of 5]

I would have liked to see this written as a book. I think if it was further developed then it would get a higher rating. The idea was good but poorly executed. Sadly even the smut wasn't that great, given the fact that it felt that there was no true emotion behind any of it.

[Autumn (Triquetra Reviews) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really liked the concept of this, but it was really short! There was no character development and I would've liked to seen a bit of background story.

We jump right into the sex scenes and while those were decent it wasn't anything crazy. Basic lesbian sex.

[David Devere · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved the language of the book, but felt that as a stand alone erotic piece of fiction, it didn't quite satisfy as fully had it been a dozen or so pages longer. As it was, it was more or less a savory morsel, rather than a delicious mouthful.