The Day I (Almost) Killed Two Gretzkys: And Other Off-the-Wall Stories About Sports...and Life

by James Duthie

Praise for James Duthie's The Day I (Almost) Killed Two Gretzkys : " I was lucky to survive the day Duthie played in my golf tournament. Little did I know he'd turn the experience into one of the best books on sports that I've read in a long time." - Wayne Gretzky "Tragedy is easy. Comedy is hard. Sports comedy is even harder, but James Duthie, who we now know is as comfortable in front of a keyboard as he is a camera, treads whimsically through a sports landscape that certainly needs a smile. His is a biting wit, guaranteed to leave teeth marks." - Michael Farber, Sports Illustrated " If you like James Duthie on TSN, you're in for a treat. He's just as clever and witty in print. James is simply a great storyteller whose creative style will make you smile over and over." - Dave Naylor, The Globe and Mail "The Quiz sucks but Duthie's book is fantastic. He is one warped writer, but genius." - John Tortorella, New York Rangers coach " Duthie writes the way I With an edge, but never forgetting the game is supposed to be fun. This book is a ton of fun." - Jeremy Roenick, former NHL star "This guy does it all-he writes as well as he does television. That same somewhat aberrant sense of humour leaps off the pages. Sports fans will love this book!" - Brian Burke, Toronto Maple Leafs GM "I don't have kids nor can I legally admit to owning a monkey, but I do love hockey and Duthie manages to make them all work together. He effortlessly modernizes sports writing while respectfully tipping his hat to the old school." - George Stroumboulopoulos , Hockey Fan and Host of CBC's George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight So what's this book about? Well... This book is about hockey. And golf. And the Olympic Games. And being a broadcaster, a sports fan, a father, husband, and son. And having an unhealthy fascination with Anna Kournikova. It's a collection of things that marched through James Duthie's head over the years and spilled out into his weekly columns, selected, collected, and randomized for your reading pleasure. It's also educational! You'll learn James Duthie has been writing columns about hockey, sport in general, and his own twisted view of the world for over a decade. This book is the first and only collection of some of his most popular and controversial columns, with several brand new, previously unpublished pieces. In The Day I (Almost) Killed Two Gretzkys , he brings his famous sense of humour, deep hockey knowledge, and his passion for sports of all kinds to fans and readers everywhere- no matter what team you cheer for. Often hilarious, sometimes insightful, occasionally touching and always passionate, Duthie's off-kilter view of sports and life shows how the spirit of sport unites us all.

Genres: Sports, Nonfiction, Hockey, Humor, Memoir, Essays, Biography

288 pages, Hardcover

First published August 20, 2010

Reviews

[Brandon · Rating 2 out of 5]

James Duthie is one of my favorite hockey broadcast hosts (might be my favorite, actually). He is quick witted, funny and knowledgeable. His appearances on the old Jay and Dan Podcast were always a highlight, especially when he’d discuss his contentious relationship with former Maple Leafs General Manager, Brian Burke.

In 2020, he released a collection of hockey stories called Beauties: Hockey's Greatest Untold Stories, which I thoroughly enjoyed. So, why not go back and read his other work? I checked out “The Day I (Almost) Killed Two Gretzkys” from the library and after starting, I immediately wished I hadn’t.

The book itself is a collection of his columns for TSN.ca running from 2003-2010. While James is a naturally funny guy, these articles read like he’s being forced to be funny at gunpoint. Many of the stories not only feel overwritten but many aren’t even that interesting to begin with. Stories about getting a PVR or bringing snacks to his kids’ sports games had the potential to be funny if written a certain way, but the humor here is cringe-worthy at best.

The only thing I can equate this material to would be those old email chain-surveys I used to do in the early 00’s. I was so desperate for people to think I was funny that I didn’t stop to consider if anyone even cared about my answers. I read one back a few years ago and it was like nails on a chalkboard. Awful.

I do eventually want to read his 2015 memoir, so I’m just going to consider this one an outlier. Skip it!

[Debra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hockey’s my favorite spectator sport, and I love reading books about the subject from all viewpoints. Although the collection of columns by James Duthie covers a variety of sports and people, I enjoyed every one of them. Duthie’s sense of humor is terrific, but he also excels at writing moving, poignant pieces.

Among my favorites were The Final Toll, a piece about the number of sports figures, fans, and aspiring athletes who lost their lies in the 9/11 Twin Towers attack. The Canada Days column is about Canada’s 2010 gold medal hockey game. It hit home with me, as I’m from Vancouver and remember the 2010 Winter Olympics very well. Hell (Goalie) Week featured his son’s attempt to play goalie and his father’s fears for him. The column was both funny and moving.

Incorporating stories about his kids adds a relatable dimension to the book for parents, grandparents, and every adult who’s participated in some sport. Duthie writes about failures, injuries, and the monkey prophecies. You’ll have to read the book to understand what the title means unless you were watching Duthie and Maggie the monkey on TSN about a decade ago. Jungle Love Parts 1 & 2 are also hilarious. Sports fans and the parents of young athletes will especially enjoy this wonderful collection of stories.

[Scott Vout · Rating 3 out of 5]

No where as good as his second book - The man on the left.

this is just a collection of all his columns. some entertaining, some not.

[Scott Paterson]

Easy read and many good stories. A few good laughs. A good change of pace book.

[Wells Lindsay · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny, laugh out loud. Really enjoyed this

[Kyle Armageddon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Would have gotten a higher score if I had read it closer to the publication date, I think.

[Rod · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good stories, poignant and funny.

[Chloe · Rating 2 out of 5]

For all the sports lovers of the past decade, especially Canadians, this book is an excellent recap of sports history. Personally, the purchase of this book was an accident and from then on I was pretty much stuck with it. While I found the majority of the columns entertaining, I found certain parts of Duthie's jokes to be borderline sexist. The overall layout of the book was also very confusing, and I often having to go to the beginning to check the date in order to understand the article better. As I mentioned, this book is an overall summary of all the highs and lows of Canadian sports in the past 10 or so years, but reading it in today's 2014 is a bit of a drag. The book was published in 2008, and by today's standards I just found it to be outdated.

[Ariana · Rating 2 out of 5]

There are some great stories and solid laughs in here (especially for Canadians and/or hockey fans), but I'm convinced that no editor was involved at any point. Sentence fragments, misuse of punctuation, and misspellings of players' names abound. It makes for a choppy read, and overall a rather unprofessional feel. Watch TSN instead, where you can't see the misplaced commas.

[Greer Andjanetta · Rating 2 out of 5]

As individual columns read about a month apart these stories would undoubtedly come across as humourous but taken all at once in a group of 100 or so, the juvenile humour becomes annoying and repetitious. Very little in the way of sports stories given and the author's fascination with immature jokes makes this a disappointing book.

[Kevin Bowyer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good read for any hockey fan or sports fan in general. Basically a compilation of James Duthie's favorite columns over the years. A lot of the articles will make you laugh out loud and a couple will actually move you (like the 9/11 and his dog piece).

[Olivia · Rating 4 out of 5]

So funny!!!!!!! I loved this book, I bet you this guy could make anything hilarious! Unfortunately I never got to have "the snack" but I loved to read about it, a perfect for comedy and hockey fans alike. A quick and easy read that I totally recommend!:)

[Anthony Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent compilation of the many great articles that Duthie has written. Very funny, informative and often touching. Sports journalism at it's best.

[Stephen Gower · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent book, fun to read. The last story was tough, considering how close to home the subject matter is. Won't spoil it though.

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love him on TSN...a collection of his column written for the Ottawa Citizen - some great stories - and life lessons.

[Norma · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a lot of fun to read.

[Dianne · Rating 4 out of 5]

2013 - just what I needed a light read during a difficult time

[Tim L. Walker · Rating 4 out of 5]

A pretty funny collection of James Duthie articles. If you've watched TSN over the past decade, you'll enjoy it. If you haven't, you probably won't. ;)

[Eric Leblanc · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a collection of columns written over the year by James Duthie. It is fine but I just didn't really care much about it while I was reading.

[Andrew · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun book about sport, life and, of course, hockey. Duthie has a great sense of humour and never takes himself too seriously. This was enjoyable!

[Brian Miller · Rating 1 out of 5]

Bought this book for a toonie from a second hand store, it's hardly worth a loonie! The title drew my attention, but the Gretzky's were barely mentioned.

[Mark Sheldrake · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hilarious...filled with great stories

[Frank Corriveau · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent stories. Right up my alley! This is how I would write and tell funny anecdotes.