The Courage to Grieve: The Classic Guide to Creative Living, Recovery, and Growth Through Grief

by Judy Tatelbaum

This unusual self-help book about surviving grief offers the reader comfort and inspiration. Each of us will face some loss, sorrow and disappointment in our lives, and The Courage to Grieve provides the specific help we need to enable us to face our grief fully and to recover and grow from the experience. Although the book emphasizes the response to the death of a loved one, The Courage to Grieve can help with every kind of loss and grief. Judy Tatelbaum gives us a fresh look at understanding grief, showing us that grief is a natural, inevitable human experience, including all the unexpected, intense and uncomfortable emotions like sorrow, guilt, loneliness, resentment, confusion, or even the temporary loss of the will to live. The emphasis is to clarify and offer help, and the tone is spiritual, optimistic, creative and easy to understand. Judy Tatelbaum provides excellent advice on how to help oneself and others get through the immediate experience of death and the grief that follows, as well as how to understand the special grief of children. Particularly useful are the techniques for completing or "finishing" grief--counteracting the popular misconception that grief never ends. The Courage to Grieve shows us how to live life with the ultimate courage: not fearing death. This book is about so much more than death and grieving it is about life and joy and growth.

Genres: Grief, Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help, Spirituality

192 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1980

Reviews

[Morgan · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s not faith-based, but it’s still helpful for writing.

[Ahm · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is short and direct, two traits I value in a self-help book. The author helped me with two main things. One, she helped me see that all the weird shit my brain was doing was normal, and two, she helped me see the course through it.
First she gives you a reel of all the weird things the mind can do in grief. The thoughts and emotions that pop up. The fallacies we grip on to. The protective behaviors we may engage in. It was a relief to know that literally everything my brain was putting me through was super normal and part of the process.
Then she shows you the obstacle course that you need to traverse, and how to make it to the other side. She points out all the snags and mud pits where people have gotten stuck. She shows the misguided techniques and short cuts that other grieving people have tried that have proven to be dangerous and unsuccessful. And then she shows you where you need to put your feet, where to hold, what to look out for, and walks you through the best practices, so you can traverse the course successfully with minimal injuries.
We often don’t fully express our sadness. As a courtesy to others. We're trying to keep it chill and make sure no one's uncomfortable. This book helped me go against that instinct and opt instead for expression. Even though it could be a little cringe. It helped me feel that as long as my grief was morphing a bit from week to week, rather than getting stuck in one spot, that I was doing okay and moving along the course. My goal is not to "stop feeling sad" but rather to just keep stepping.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Courage to Grieve was an incredibly thorough and helpful book, breaking the grief process into three logical chunks, and discussing a myriad of issues. Overall, it described normal grief incredibly well, and provided a number of red flags that indicate that grief might not be proceeding in a healthy fashion.

Two of the most important points of this book, however were the chapter on helping others through grief, which I wish that I had read years ago, and which should be required reading for all of us to help us to help others on a very human, visceral level--the other key point was the detail in which Tatelbaum discusses not simply a "normal" resolution to grief, but a good one. This means that by the end of the book, the reader feels that although the journey through grief will be arduous, exhausting, and difficult, but ultimately carries with it the possibility of becoming a transformative experience in a variety of ways.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the two books I recommend when asked for a book dealing with loss. It helped me. I thought it was pretty exceptional. Society doesn't teach us how to grieve but it's an important thing we do have to deal with. Books, support groups and therapy can help one travel through horrible losses.

[Debbie Hoskins · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is readable, which is always a good start.
I am reading a lot of grief books and this one is not standing out.
The index is very helpful.
I am finding books with exercises to be more memorable.

[Joni Greenwell Bycroft · Rating 5 out of 5]

My mom died a month ago, and we had unresolved issues - I still do. My friend gave me this wonderfu book to start working through my grief and unresolved mistrust.
Although the book emphasizes the response to the death of a loved one, The Courage to Grieve can help with every kind of loss and grief. Judy Tatelbaum gives us a fresh look at understanding grief, showing us that grief is a natural, inevitable human experience, including all the unexpected, intense and uncomfortable emotions like sorrow, guilt, loneliness, resentment, confusion, or even the temporary loss of the will to live. The emphasis is to clarify and offer help, and the tone is spiritual, optimistic, creative and easy to understand.

[Chesley · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was an okay read. It was decent and it did have some good information in it, but I found it to be lacking. I feel like more tips and better tips could been offered then what was. This book is basically a book about grief with a few good tips thrown in but it just seemed to be talking about grief not really offering much tips or solutions. Towards the end of the book it seemed to pick up on tips but I don't know hard to explain this one. It was very much lacking substance I feel like. I don't feel like I have gained any type of help or pointers from this book.

[Sherry R.N.N.P. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book when I was grieving and her message of hope was quite helpful. I especially took the challenge to finish grieving. It is clear that the author has survived grief herself and has passed along the insight and knowledge she gleaned.

[Stella Huang · Rating 3 out of 5]

Basically says one must embrace the loss and let the emotions flow.. denial is dangerous. Was hoping to know what complete healing or recovery looks like but the book didn't meet my expectation in this respect. Love the Kahlil Gibran's quotes at the beginning of every chapter.

[Janl · Rating 5 out of 5]

a really helpful book, explaining the stages & aspects of grief: reassurance that what you are feeling is ok & part of the normal grieving process. examples of true stories are also useful. overall recommended to anyone experiencing the loss of a loved one.

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

I happened to see this book on the shelf at a thrift shop, and it has been helpful in my grieving process. I’ve only read one other grief book while in this current grief journey—so I don’t know how it compares to others—but on its own, it definitely aided.

[jana · Rating 3 out of 5]

only read it for our guidance & counseling class (bcs we need to do a book review). and i have a love-hate relationship with any self-help book, thus my rate (it just didn't get to me). but nevertheless, i would recommend this book to others.

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brief but effective guide to dealing with and overcoming grief, including long-held incomplete grief.

[Laurent · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book that I have been meaning to read for years. In short, I have learned much about grief and grieving. If you have suffered a loss (and you will), read this book.

[Emma De · Rating 4 out of 5]

Informative and brief

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book sat on my shelf for a very long time. I finally decided to read it and am glad I did. Very thought provoking, and can be used as a healing tool for loss.

[Melissa Fischer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has been very helpful and encouraging. A realistic perspective that takes the pressure off to "get over it" and instead offers many suggestions of ways to work through grief and to ultimately grow through the experience of loss.

[Kirsten · Rating 5 out of 5]

The fact that I can still recall and cite points from this book-albeit 23 years later-testifies to its value. While nothing erases the pain over losing a loved one, it did indeed help me in the grieving processes of my mother.

I appreciate that the author speaks from both personal and professional experience. Why, you may ask, am I now archiving it in my bookshelves? Recently, I mentioned this book to a relative upon the tragic loss of her neighbor. I feel it will benefit others, also.

[Barbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some wisdom and stories from this therapist are helpful. Given the reader reviews, it is clearly a book that is a good match for some readers. It is woven, however, with therapy moves and some unsupported psycho-jabber. I am looking to understand my own process and not really looking for a self engineered intervention. If a reader needs intervention they should probably actually go to a therapist.

[Tonya · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book gave me insights into the grieving process, and ideas for how to help me grieve. It also talks about how important it is to allow oneself to grieve. I thought it was very helpful, and easy to read.

[Christina Murias · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good book. Highly recommended for those who have lost a dear one. it explains the process of grieving, which I found very useful reflecting on my own experience.
But I think one of the best part, are the chapters on personal growth.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Courage to Grieve: The Classic Guide to Creative Living, Recovery, and Growth Through Grief by Judy Tatelbaum (1984)

[Mariana · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good book for me to read as I recover from my father's death and prepare for my mother's death.

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting book on grieving and the recovery from it.

[Ed Mitchell · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 really. Liked it.

[Withmanyroots · Rating 4 out of 5]

Found a very old copy of this on my Airbnb bookshelf in San Cristobel de Las casas in Mexico. Was drawn to it and read it in 3 days.

[Joann · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really a helpful book--I would definitely recommend it.