Be a Man!: Becoming the Man God Created You to Be

by Larry Richards

Men are rediscovering the importance of the spiritual life. And Father Larry Richards is helping them do it. While some writers apply a one-size-fits-all approach to the Christian life, Father Richards draws on his many years of ministry and his own experience as a man to inspire other men as men. In Be a Man!, he recounts his struggles to learn true manhood, as well as the inspiring stories of others he has served in his decades as a priest. He tells men how to focus on the right goal, how to live as a beloved son of God, of the need to acknowledge one’s faults and to live according to the Holy Spirit, to be a man of true love and of wisdom, to appreciate properly the differences between men and women, to pursue holiness, and to make a difference in the world. Not preachy but direct, Father Richards challenges men to be strong, without putting on a mask of false strength or machismo. He calls men to admit their weaknesses and limitations, while urging them to find strength in faith and genuine love to overcome their sins and faults. Although a celibate priest, he minces no words when it comes to the place of sexuality—for the unmarried man as well as for the married man. He shows that true manliness is not opposed to love but thrives on it. Father Richards stresses that a relationship with Christ reveals the meaning of a man’s life and his identity as a man. He inspires men to become the true heroes they long to be—men of authentic courage, compassion and integrity. This is a highly readable book for men by a man who knows how to talk to men about the things that matter most.

Genres: Catholic, Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Faith, Theology, Christianity

196 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

A gifted and captivating speaker, preacher, retreat master and author, Father Larry Richards holds the answer to some of life’s most profound questions. He speaks from experience as a pastor of an inner city parish, a high school chaplain, a counselor and evangelist. Fr. Larry Richards has directed hundreds of Retreats, Parish Missions and Conferences for young and old alike. His inspirational talks and presentations, always authentic and enthusiastic, have changed the hearts, minds, and lives of millions of listeners worldwide. He continues to accept invitations for speaking engagements all over the United States and in Canada and has recently traveled abroad to continue his mission of evangelization.

Father Larry Richards was born on March 26, 1960, in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. He entered St. Mark High School Seminary, Erie, Pennsylvania, at the age of 17. After high school, Father Larry attended the college Seminary at Gannon University and received his Bachelor of Science degree in Mental Health Counseling in 1983.

Continuing his studies at the Major Seminary at St. Vincent in Latrobe, Pennsylvania, Father Larry Richards received his Masters of Divinity degree in 1987. He will soon conclude his studies and be awarded a Master of Arts degree in Liturgy from the University of Notre Dame, South Bend, Indiana.

Ordained to the priesthood on April 21, 1989 for the Diocese of Erie, Pennsylvania, Father Larry Richards has served as Pastor of St. Joseph Church/Bread of Life Community, also in Erie, since July 1, 2002. In addition, Father is the founder of the DME (Divine Mercy Encounter) Retreat Program for the Diocese of Erie

On August 30, 2004, in the midst of his many commitments to his parishioners, to the TEC community, and to traveling around the United States for Parish Missions, Retreats, and Conferences, Father Larry founded and is president of “The Reason For Our Hope Foundation,” a non-profit organization dedicated to ‘spreading the Good News’ by educating others about Jesus Christ and the Catholic faith through CDs and DVDs, as well as promoting Catholic speakers who are effective instruments of evangelization. In turn, the foundation will support charities that strive to make real the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

He has recorded many talks on all aspects of the Catholic Faith for individual and small-group instruction, all of which are available on The Reason for Our Hope website. Since the inception of the Foundation, Father Larry has also recorded CDs and DVDs entitled “The Truth”, “Confession”, “The Mass Explained”, “Knowing God’s Will”, “Prayer”, “Livingin the Holy Spirit”, “Be a Man”, and “What More Could He Do For You”. Father Larry’s live presentation of “What More Could He Do For You?”, a dramatic explanation of the Passion of Jesus, is riveting; the DVD of this presentation is, without a doubt, the most moving re-enactment of the Passion one can view.

Father Larry Richards also hosts a radio show called “Changed Forever with Father Larry Richards”. It can be heard nationwide on Relevant Radio on Saturdays at 8:00 p.m. ET/7:00 p.m. CT, and Sundays at 11:00 a.m. ET/10:00a.m. CT.

Reviews

[Damos · Rating 5 out of 5]

I did not need another book to read. But I needed to read this book.

If you are a Christian man (particularly if you're Catholic) read this book, take it seriously & do what it says. I am about to begin.

Fr Larry Richards is a man after God's own heart & sets out some challenges for men to be men, real men, men of God, followers of Jesus Christ, leaders among our families, role models for our world.

For me this book is about salvation. It's time for the rubber to hit the road & to get serious about living for Jesus, stepping the pathway to Heaven & preparing to suit up & face the devil when he comes.

Thank you Fr Larry for this wonderful book.
Thanks to my wife Natalie too for sending it my way!

[Brent Soderstrum · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is not for just Catholic men. I read it and enjoyed it. I am not Catholic. Yes, there are references to Catholic issues like confession, penance, rosary beads, etc. But Father Larry Richards has a great way of setting out the ten themes to making you a better man. He is a very good communicator. For each chapter he uses great examples, Bible verses (even some books of the Catholic Bible which Protestants don't hear of), humor, and straight forward no nonsense advice. This includes sex. What does a Priest know about sex? It isn't what a Priest knows about sex. It is what God, the creator of sex, knows about it. All aspects of a man's life are covered.

I like the end of the book where there is a 30 point check list on what it takes to be a better man. Father Larry takes three items from each chapter. This list alone makes the book worth the price.

Love and prayer. If I was to pick two words that really show what this books is about those are the words I would choose. Really, it is all about love. If you love God you will want to talk to Him through prayer. I know I struggle with the listening side of prayer. I give God a list of the things I want and move on with the busy life we lead. This book made me re-examine what my life is and who I am living my life for.

[John Doyle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading Fr. Richard’s book is about as pleasant as diving into an artic lake in January; nevertheless, becoming the man God intends requires not only encouragement, but also discipline. Although I was not initially attracted by the author’s blunt writing style, it grew on me as I persevered. Besides, one of Jesus’s more paradoxical sayings affirms that the “truth will set you free”, and ‘Be a Man!’ is packed with truths that men today desperately need to break the shackles of sin and inherit the freedom that God desires for them. The path to becoming the man God created you to be and enjoying profound happiness in this world and the next necessarily requires the interplay of virtue and grace. Lies engender despair. Truth generates hope. Hope leads to lasting joy!

[Steven R. McEvoy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was an incredible read. But to be honest I have had a hard time figuring out how to review it. Fr. Larry Richards in this book, challenges us to be real men, authentic men, men of God. It is a call to be true Christian men, to be a Catholic gentleman.

When I first read this section it had an instant impact:

"I make this very explicit when I am preaching at a marriage ceremony. I start with the bride and I say, "Sweetheart, you read the Bible every day, don't you?" At first I usually get a "Yes, Father", and then I say kiddingly, "If you lie to a priest, you know, you go to hell." Then she will usually quickly say, "Okay, no, Father." Then I continue, "Well, there is a verse in Ephesians that says, 'Wives, be submissive to your husbands, as to the Lord.' " And then I ask, "Do you think it means what it says?" And I always get an emphatic "No, Father!" Then I literally jump up and down and scream, "Yes, it means what it says!" When I say this, all the feminists in the crowd become very upset and say things like, "This is another reason I hate the Catholic Church." And the bride thinks, "Why did we ever get this priest to marry us?" I love this!

Then, as anyone who knows me knows, I am an equal opportunity offender, so I turn to the groom, who usually likes all of this. Once I said to a groom, "That will cost you another hundred dollars", and he responded, "That would be the best one hundred dollars I ever spent!" But now it is time for the other shoe to fall. I then ask the groom, "You read the Bible every day, right?" He always responds, "No, Father." Then I ask, "Well, do you know what it says in Ephesians after 'Wives, be submissive to your husbands'?" The groom always shakes his head and says, "No." Then I continue, "It says, 'Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her.' " Then I ask, "Do you know what that means?" I then continue kiddingly, "Your life is over!" Then I tell them that every day they need to be more concerned about each other than they are about themselves! That is what marriage is about!

So you need to start to do at least one unselfish act for your wife every day. Surprise her. When was the last time you treated her the same way you did when you were still trying to get her to marry you?" -"

The chapters in this book are:
Chapter 1: Be a Man Who Stays Focused on the Final Goal
Chapter 2: Be a Man Who Lives as a Beloved Son
Chapter 3: Be a Man Who Repents
Chapter 4: Be a Man Who Lives in the Holy Spirit
Chapter 5: Be a Man Who Is Strong
Chapter 6: Be a Man Who Is Loving
Chapter 7: Be a Man Who Is Wise
Chapter 8: Be a Man Who Lives as He Was Created
Chapter 9: Be a Man Who Is Holy
Chapter 10: Be a Man Who Changes the World
Thirty Tasks You Must Accomplish to Help You Become the Man You were Created to Be
Endnotes

Each chapter ends with three tasks, three tasks you must accomplish, and also three questions for reflection and discussion. Not since I read the first promise Keepers book back in the early 90's have I felt a book was so important for men to read, and to implement. I know so many men who should read this book. Friends heading into their second or third marriage, men who have abandoned careers with no goals or prospects, men who seem to shirk all responsibility in order to pursue their own plans and agendas.

Father Larry does not pull any punches, and he is fully honest about his own weaknesses and failings. But in writing to men he draws extensively from the bible. In fact almost every paragraph has at least one biblical reference. This book is not an easy read, for any man who is open and honest while reading this book will find a few areas of his life that needs improvement. For some men it will directly speak to their weaknesses, or failures. For others it will be a guide to help them grow and avoid some of the pitfalls of manhood.

This was a great read, and to be honest I plan to come back to it and read it again in about a year. It is great for person reading but would be even better worked through as a group. I enjoyed the writing style so much I have added a few of Father Richards books to next year's reading list. As men you owe it to yourself and the people in your life to read this book!

Read the review on my blog Book Reviews and More.

(Note: This book is part of a series of reviews: A Year of Reading Intention - Catholic Reading!)

[Michael Vidrine · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was very impressed with this book. It’s extremely accessible and practical, dynamic and insightful, and i would recommend it to any man.
There were a good bit of small technical inaccuracies and errors in the theology, but mostly of little consequence when it comes to the primary message. This was most frustrating in the “Be a Man of Holiness” chapter, because there were other parts of the book when he treats the theme of holiness extremely well, acknowledging and correcting the error that so many people make in equating it with a good moral life. But in the end, his treatment of it also missed the mark, losing sight of the real Jewish concept of it the contagious quality of what God is that attributable to man through his proximity to God.
But overall, I really liked this book. In large part because he writes very much like I preach.

[Jeffrey · Rating 4 out of 5]

A must read for every Catholic man who wants to find his true purpose and direction in life. Fr. Richard surely doesn't water-down anything but makes sure to tell it as it is about being a godly man. Any man who doesn't like reading might not be able to put this one down.

[Nick Frisina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book about growing into the man God created you to be. The book had good practical advice for taking steps to actively incorporate God into your daily life.

Fr. Larry gives good instruction for bringing Jesus to others in a way that is very personable and not preachy or judgemental.

The writing is very conversational which made it easy and funny to read. I could hear Fr. Larry saying every word he wrote in this book.

Catholic men need more books like this and more priests like Fr. Larry.

[Doug Schreiber · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of my new Favorites! Fr LArry doesn't pull any punches. He puts the challenge fully front of us so that we see what Jesus is calling us to do. Wow, now I better understand the work I have to do. Read it. It may help you also!

[Kurt Geisel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fr. Larry Richards addresses men in his signature super-direct style. The book is clear, concise, and very effective at aiming at the heart of what a man needs to do to grow his relationship with Jesus Christ.

The book is quite short and easy to read, but the real challenge lies in following through with the exercises. Each short chapter introduces an exercise that must be followed in order to really make progress in the proposed step. The impact of the book will be directly proportional to how much the reader follows through on the exercises.

While his proposal is by no means easy to put into action, it would be hard to find a more approachable or easy-to-comprehend presentation of the journey.

[John Rey · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very challenging read for me, not mainly because of the content, (which can be challenging and convicting by the way), but because of the tone and style that Father Richards used. I guess because other books I have read seemed to be “prim and proper” in style. But this was written with Father Richards’ authentic style of preaching and teaching. I have watched and listened to some of his talks on YouTube, and I can say that I can hear him speaking in my head while I am reading his book. I had a hard time listening to his unique style of preaching and I think that was what turned me off at times in listening to what he is really trying to say. So, in reading this book, though I can “hear” him in my mind, I somehow get to really slowed down and took time to understand what he is trying to tell all those men in his talks in men’s conferences.

Some things to highlight from this book is that to be a man is to be a man of prayer and a follower of Jesus Christ. Father Larry would then specify how and what aspect of being a man can we grow into in Christ.

What really struck me was something he wrote near the end of the book, that we should look into the Gospel a characteristic of Christ that best exemplifies us. Each one of us has a part in Christ’s body that we know really resonates with us. Father Richards said that gentleness is not something he is very comfortable in showing, except in the confessional, but there are other characteristics he resonates with like his boldness. God uses this boldness of his for His purposes, because there will be men who will resonate with his message with his type of delivery and style of preaching. That’s what I really like in this book. What seeming difficulty I have with this book may be the foundation for some men to delve deeper to the message Father Richards wants to tell about Christ and His Church.

I am reminded of St Louis de Montfort who was described as having a fiery temper and passion for whatever he does. But as he offered himself to God through Our Lady, God used his natural passion and zeal for the purposes of the kingdom of God. Many may not liked him for that but God can use even our seeming rough edges for His purposes.

Another thing that resonated with me is that Father Richards highlighted the primacy of deeply knowing we are sons of God. Men need to hear that we are God’s beloved sons. We have to hear Him tell us that. We have to really, truly, deeply and personally know we are beloved sons of God. I don’t know how and in what way God will tell each men that. But I know we can only hear that through our genuine desire to be with and encounter our loving Father through prayer. That’s the exciting part of the prayer life! Because God will speak to each one of us in the way we would know it is Him. St Ignatius of Loyola said that God as our Creator can deal directly with His creations. So, be confident that God will call each men as His sons in and through prayer. Mother Teresa said, you have to hear Jesus speak to you, personally, before one can truly do the things God wants us to do. It is the same as we desire to be with our Father in prayer: to be called His son would be the foundation of our being men rooted in our identity in God the Father.

I also liked the checklist at the end of the book: thirty tasks for being a man. This is a good summary of what Father Richards discussed in the book as well as a practical way of implementing what one has read.

This is a highly recommended read for men, even if these men do not really read. I think Father Richards knows who his target audience is and who will resonate with his style of teaching and preaching. So read on, gentlemen, yet ye be warned!! This can change your life and set you on a path to become the man God wants you to be!

[John Overman · Rating 4 out of 5]

I truly enjoyed Father Larry's conversational and powerful narrative. This is a clear call for Christian men to be strong in their faith, starting with family and permeating into all other areas of life. Father Larry defines manhood as being in love with God and truth, devoutly serving your wife, modeling morality for your kids, and being an ethical leader at work and in your community. He outlines and discusses these focal points: 1) focus on God, 2) live like a son of God, 3) repent, 4) embrace the Holy Spirit, 5) be strong, 6) be loving, 7) be wise, 8) live as a creation, 9) be holy, and 10) change the world. Of all the significant anecdotal advice, his case for giving every single day to God was most moving for me. Father Larry makes it clear that strong faith is a daily practice, not something only for Sundays or holidays. He also asks, if you would likely attend church for a million dollars, why wouldn't you attend church for eternal life? Father Larry definitely makes his readers think.

This is a very good book for men of faith to read and discuss. For a five-star rating, I would have liked more explanation on the focal points. In my view, Father Larry packs ten books into ten chapters. This is terrific for inspiration and overview-driven discussion, but I would have really enjoyed a more thorough read.

[Patrick O'Hannigan · Rating 4 out of 5]

If the priest played by actor Karl Malden in the movie "On the Waterfront" had written a book, it would have sounded a lot like this one by Fr. Larry Richards. The self-deprecating asides here sometimes fall flat, but the overall tone of straight-shooting bonhomie is genuine. The checklist at the back, a quick reference to "30 Tasks You Must Accomplish To Help You Become the Man You Were Created to Be" had me ambling to the copier.

Fr. Richards packs a lot of practical and spiritual advice on how to be strong, loving, and wise into 192 breezily-written pages. I suspect he knows that many of us, myself included, do not often yoke those adjectives together, but it's a feat of harnessing and discipleship he seems to have mastered. What most differentiates this book from others of its type is how Fr. Richards emphasizes right off the bat that we're all going to die. The message: begin with the end -- your end-- in mind. His explanation of what sin is and what it does also got my attention.

In short, while this is not likely to be "self-help" bestseller, it's well worth reading.

[Philip · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a hard one to call. I really liked the book. The content is hard hitting, pull no punches, in your face, this is what you have to do for Eternal life stuff.
The message is what it needs to be. The content is what it needs to be. The delivery isn't great and Fr. Larry's personality doesn't work great for me but it is what it is.
It is at times contradictory in terms: Don't ram things down people's throats, live by example, be a witness. Coming from Fr. Larry who uses a sledge hammer to ram the message down your throat is somewhat ironic..... LOL
Either way a good read and a must read for any Catholic man.

Going to hear him speak in the Spring in NJ next year so looking forward to that.

[Ramon · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed the book very much. I usually get books on audio but I won the book in a drawing at a local bookstore and thought it was kind of odd that I won this book. It took me about 6 months to pick it up and read it. But I believe the old saying when the student is ready the teacher will appear. I found the book very helpful in my spiritual journey. Fr. was direct and hit the topics right on the head. I have heard Fr give other talks and he can be brash but usually makes his point. In life sometimes we need those instructors to explain things in a direct no sugar coating way. It's good to have those instructors that will explain things so I can understand it.

[Jenn · Rating 3 out of 5]

What I think is a great strength of this book is that it doesn't waste time being polite. The questions and practical things to do at the end of each chapter are particularly helpful, since it's often difficult to concretize abstract ideas into positive action items.

I think it is a needed book. Men don't know, many times, what it really means to be a man. And from this, women don't really know what it means to be a woman. We need to help each other find our identities in Christ, so that we can more authentically live as we were created to live.

[Clare · Rating 5 out of 5]

A direct, energetic call to young men to meet God and discover the purpose of their lives. It's about developing a relationship with God, learning to pray and meditate on Scripture, learning to repent when needed, developing strength of character, learning how to love, learning wisdom, learning to be holy wherever one is, learning to be pure in heart, learning to be of service, and much more. He offers excellent, engaging advice, and in spite of the title, it's relevant for girls too. Reviewed for www.GoodReadingGuide.com

[Aaron · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a great book! Fr Larry was a key speaker at a men's conference I attend a few years ago so I was looking forward to reading this book. I hope my sons will eventually read this book.

Fr Larry details how a man should live, following the example of the real man's man, Jesus. The last part of the book is a practical checklist of 30 tasks we need to take to become men after God's heart. I'll be referring back to this checklist often. Thank you God for your workers on earth. May I see you in others and may others see you in me.

[Pat Murray · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good book for someone looking for spiritual direction in their life. He uses this in his personal life and explains to the reader how to make it work in their own. I have started incorporating this book into my daily life. Change is never easy, but you have to start with an effort to try and make that change. If you are not finding fulfillment in your life I highly recommend this book for your consideration.

[Benjamin Espen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was ultimately disappointed, both by the author's style, which would be something I could ignore if the content were better, and the complete lack of any actual content relating to masculinity. This is a generic Christian self-help book, not really one for men as men. There is a wealth of such information available now, for example Brett McKay at the Art of Manliness, that would have vastly improved this book.

[Adam · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book that really challenges you to be a better Christian man. Father Larry Richards is funny and down to earth guy, and he offers practical advice that all men can relate to. There are also action items and discussion questions at the end of each chapter that I found useful. I would recommend this book to all Christian men who are seeking to grow in their faith.

[Ryan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Gentlemen, if you're looking for someone to tell it like it is and challenge you to be a real man, Fr. Larry is your guy. If you're just looking for warm fuzzies and someone to make you feel like the status quo is just peachy, go read some Joyce Rupp... or perhaps a selection from Oprah's Book Club.

[Trae Johnson · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciated some of Fr. Richards' insights and elucidations on the characteristics and habits associated with manhood. There were some good challenges, and a particularly helpful checklist in the back to help men begin to order and achieve manhood. All in all a good book, and one that I would recommend other men to read.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 I really liked the book...I just don't want to contribute to star inflation.

"Holiness is a by-product of love - love of God and love of neighbor.

Holiness is not something you do, it's who you are for God."

[Emerson John Tiu Ng · Rating 5 out of 5]

Looking for a book that instruct you how to be a Man... this is a perfect book for you. Fr. Larry Richards discusses different aspects how we stand up and be the man God created us to be... forget other self help book... this is the one.

[Dominik · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent and well-written. Doesn't pull any punches.

[Bruce Slough]

Powerful. An inspiration.

[Kirk Newland · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great book to wake men up to the need to be a disciple of Christ

[Donna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is written with men in mind, but it is so much like Fr. Larry Richards' missions, women can learn, too. Fr. Larry lays out the truth. I'd give it more than 5 stars.

[Bill Breen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Be a man-- of GOD!! This book will help you in your spiritual journey. READ THIS BOOK! You will be blessed.

[Gregg Bissot · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good read. If you are used to hearing him talk it is just like that, funny some and in your face.