Dating Your Mom

by Ian Frazier

These twenty-four stories range from parody to absurd humor, from farce to outlandish personal fantasy

Genres: Humor, Essays, Fiction, Comedy

123 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1986

About the author

Ian Frazier (b.1951) is an American writer and humorist. He is the author of Travels in Siberia, Great Plains, On the Rez, Lamentations of the Father and Coyote V. Acme, among other works, all published by Farrar, Straus and Giroux. He graduated from Harvard University. A frequent contributor to The New Yorker, he lives in Montclair, New Jersey.

http://us.macmillan.com/author/ianfra...

Reviews

[Engineer TF2]

Doin your mom doin doin your mom
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
Doin doin your mom doin doin your mom
You know we straight with doin your mom
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
Doin doin your mom doin doin your mom
You know we straight with doin your mom
I'm doin your mom. Yes yours!
I first saw her in the Wal-Mart pickin out your drawers.
Big Dolly Parton hair like an 80s prom queen
But her ass was lookin good all up in those mom-jeans.
I approached her in the checkout line, and said yo baby wassup?
She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin at her jugs.
Five minutes later she agreed to get with me
So we went and rocked the minivan like Giggity. Giggity. Giggity.
I was ridin your mom like she was Mario Kart.
I gave her a lift back to her crib cause her car wouldn't start.
She invited me in the house, and we started makin out again.
How many times I tap that ass? OVER 9000!
Yeah. She called me Pledge cause I knocked the dust off it.
She later made me a sandwich and she cut the crust off it.
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I'm a little young
To be in the bed, butt-naked doin your mom.
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
Doin doin your mom doin doin your mom
You know we straight with doin your mom
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
Doin doin your mom doin doin your mom
You know we straight with doin your mom
I like your mamas big butt, and I cannot lie.
You other brothers can't deny that she's fly.
We make sexy time, yes and every night I tap that.
She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I'm half black.
But your moms the best, the super M.I.L.F.
Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain't a chef
And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol
But If I were you, I wouldn't kiss your mom on the mouth at all.
She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez.
Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed.
She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I'll be honest
She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna.
She's so therapeutic. When I need to cure my restlessness
I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your moms breastestess.
I didn't wanna tell you, but I had to write this song
Cause I'm in your house every night doin your mo-om.
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
Doin doin your mom doin doin your mom
You know we straight with doin your mom
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
Doin doin your mom doin doin your mom
You know we straight with doin your mom
I'm havin sex with your mother
That makes me better than you.
I'm havin sex with your mother
That makes me better than you.
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
Doin doin your mom doin doin your mom
You know we straight with doin your mom
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
Doin doin your mom doin doin your mom
You know we straight with doin your mom

[Richardrd · Rating 5 out of 5]

BY fart the best book read by man, a stunning story abiout a lost man looking love, from his mom. In his search he found ypur mom, and is now dating her.

10/10 would read again


Ps: great dating advice

Pss: your mom be cute

[hriday · Rating 5 out of 5]

the advice in this book worked so well. i have never pulled as much as right now (after reading darting your mom by Ian Frazier). my mom took me to a neighborhood party and almost couldn't get me out of the room again. all of the moms just wouldn't stop giving me their numbers.

10/10

[Vct. Pohl · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love this book. Introduced me to a favorite, unforgettable writer.

[Miguel Monzon · Rating 2 out of 5]

maybe

[Kara Trimpin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Maybe 2.5 ⭐️
Picked this up at a library sale for super cheap. It reads like a comedy sketch book like a Portlandia but from the 80s.

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had only ever read him in The New Yorker and those were always hit and miss. But here, in a collection, I thought he was hilarious.

[Marit · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are hits and misses in here but the hits are so funny. Hehehehehehooohohooho (is what you will be like while reading the hits)

[DURTY · Rating 4 out of 5]

I laffed and laffed

[William · Rating 3 out of 5]

really enjoyed the pieces i really enjoyed, was completely neutral on the ones i didn't. some of the ones in this collection are heavily dependent on references and allusions to other material. the basic joke or premise is easily still communicated, but you get the idea that you'd like, say, the first piece a lot more if you already had read a book about the Bloomsbury Group or something. the ones that required less context were fantastic. lots of fun, dry stuff. i bought the book because of frazier's connection to Army Man so i might buy his other humor collection now. fart fart fart fart fart fart fart fart fart
and now, literally for my own benefit, the pieces i liked most listed in the order they're in in the book:
the title piece
what the dog did
just a country boy
igor stravinsky: the selected phone calls (very good)
to the heavens and beyond (very good)
your nutrition and you
morris smith: the man, the myth (very good)
a note from the playwright

[Daniel]

Ian Frazier tackles some unusual--and hilarious--topics in this collection of essays, such as the Killion, a number so large that even thinking about it kills people; the real reason for the New York City blackout; what if Samuel Beckett had become an...

[Rex · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny - twisted - one of the under-appreciated humorists. If you like Christopher Moore, you'll like this book (note, he has also written non-fiction which I have not yet read, so cannot yet pronounce upon). Stick to DATING YOUR MOM and COYOTE v. ACME for his humor.

[Beth Lind · Rating 3 out of 5]

A collection of short stories. Some were pretty funny. Others I just didn't get. The author is funny and has an extremely dry sense of humor dripping with sarcasm. A short book as most of the stories were just a few pages long.

[Ali · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just found this one for $3 at the local used bookstore.

[Stephanie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really enjoyed some of these, but they were so of the time that I didn't understand a lot of the reference. One took place in Akron; that was exciting.

[Peter Lindstrom · Rating 5 out of 5]

Though not all the stories are side-splittingly funny, the title story alone give the whole book a top rating for me.

[Needer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Would have liked to have some background on the essays.