Book of Days: Personal Essays

by Emily Fox Gordon, Phillip Lopate (Introduction)

The sexual politics of a faculty wives dinner. The psychological gamesmanship of an inappropriate therapist. The emotional minefield of an extended family wedding . . .
 
Whatever the subject, Emily Fox Gordon’s disarmingly personal essays are an art form unto themselves—reflecting and revealing, like mirrors in a maze, the seemingly endless ways a woman can lose herself in the modern world. With piercing humor and merciless precision, Gordon zigzags her way through “the unevolved paradise” of academia, with its dying breeds of bohemians, adulterers, and flirts, then stumbles through the perils and pleasures of psychotherapy, hoping to find a narrative for her life. Along the way, she encounters textbook feminists, partying philosophers, perfectionist moms, and an unlikely kinship with Kafka—in a brilliant collection of essays that challenge our sacred institutions, defy our expectations, and define our lives.

Genres: Essays, Nonfiction, Memoir

320 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2010

About the author

Emily Fox Gordon has published two memoirs, a collection of personal essays, and a novel. She has received two Pushcart Prizes, a Guggenheim fellowship, and a 2019 Sidney Award. She is a member of the MFA faculty at Queens University of Charlotte in North Carolina and lives in Houston, Texas, with her husband, philosopher George Sher.

Reviews

[Kathryn Bashaar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gordon is a very engaging writer, with a strong memory for detail. She brings her subjects to life. But I always have trouble reading about women of leisure - which she was for most of her life until she started writing seriously. As a woman who has always been ambitious and hard-working, I feel very impatient with women who let their husbands earn the living while they gaze at their navels and play around at insignificant nothings. Good Lord, she didn't even make FRIENDS! But she does write VERY WELL about her mostly-useless life and some of her insights were very thought-provoking. I especially enjoyed reading about her Master's Thesis on Kafka and about the "Kangas."

[Roxani]

As a fan of essays and one who is always in search of female essayists, I appreciated this collection. I particularly liked the distinction in the intro between essay and memoir and the comparison of the relative merits of the former to the latter. Because the narrative focused on the hardship the author faced and overcame in her youth and early adulthood, the tone was at times heavy and depressing -- these essays were not light reading. That said, Emily Fox Gordon's insights on academia, marriage, New England and psychological disorders were valuable.

[Alana · Rating 1 out of 5]

Horrid book. Worst self-centered drivel ever printed.

[Kirsten · Rating 4 out of 5]

Das Buch ist eine Sammlung autobiografischer Essays. Einige davon sind bereits in ihren Erinnerungen "Mockingbird Years: A Life In and Out of Therapy und Are You Happy? A Childhood Remembered" enthalten, andere wurden in diesem Buch zum ersten Mal veröffentlicht.

Alleine von den Titeln der beiden Autobiografien von Emily Fox Gordon kann man sich ausmalen, wie ihre Kindheit gewesen sein muss. Psychotherapie mit zehn und ein Selbstmordversuch mit achtzehn Jahren sprechen eine deutliche Sprache. Dabei habe ich von dem, was ich gelesen habe, einen ganz anderen Eindruck bekommen. Sicherlich war Emily kein einfaches Kind, aber sie hatte es auch nicht einfach. Sie war anderes zu einer Zeit, in der anders noch falsch war und man nicht nach andere Möglichkeiten suchte.

Auch als Erwachsene merkt man noch deutlich die Verunsicherung, die sie seit der Kindheit begleitet. Alles, was nicht perfekt läuft, ist ihr Versagen. Obwohl sie sich dessen bewusst ist, dass diese Denkweise falsch ist, kann Emily Fox Gordon sie nicht ablegen.

Sie ist ihren Essays schonungslos ehrlich, was zu Problemen mit ihrer Familie geführt hat. Das kann ich gut nachvollziehen, denn die Familie hat in ihren Augen alles richtig gemacht und sieht das auch heute noch so.

Wunderbar geschrieben, aber keine einfache Lektüre. Trotzdem kann ich das Buch empfehlen.

[Treasure Island Books · Rating 3 out of 5]

As with any book of personal essays, the subjects of the essays must resonate with the reader. I did not connect with Gordon's accounts of a life spent in therapy but did enjoy the essays on how she came to be a writer.

[Monica Edwards · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 (great at times, struggled to get into at first)

[Mandy · Rating 3 out of 5]

The introduction of the book explains that Emily Fox Gordon felt forced to write memoirs by her publisher because she was too unknown for a collection of essays to be marketable. She believes she agreed to a Faustian bargain, and that bargain seems to continue through the essays in the first half of the book that provides plodding reviews of her experience in institutions and therapy. For those that have not read her previous books (myself included), she introduces herself as a sloppy, chubby, emotionally unstable child that bloomed later because she spent her college years among those that couldn't get along by self-medicating with beer and pot like the rest of us. I agree with many of the reviews that I almost gave up on the book based on the first half.

The second half, however, seem to hold the essays the late-blooming author really wanted to write. It is here that she describes how the Faustian bargain of the memoir trend is that you'll reveal enough sordid details about your life that you'll try to get out of attending your niece's wedding to avoid the inevitable confrontation with relatives that feel betrayed by what you've aired out to the world. Gordon explains that she's happy the memoir made her a professional writer and given her a vocation, but she regrets having to write that kind of book and that it was not ultimately a book that felt true to her. "Everything that I say happened in my memoir happened, and happened more or less when I said it did: no fact checker could catch me out," she writes. "But in Mockingbird Years I distorted the truth of my life almost beyond recognition--my own recognition, that is." To construct a narrative she (and all memoir writers) have to leave many things out and only include those scenes that serve the story her publisher wanted her to tell. The second half also includes compelling and insightful essays on the cocoon of a long marriage, and the treatment of faculty wives in academia (to Gordon, the inclusion of female academics just makes them man-women that still have little use for those that aren't formally tied to the university).

One hopes that Gordon has fulfilled her end of the Faustian bargain by now and that future efforts will let her move beyond her role as therapy critic. The second half of this book shows she has so much more to offer readers.

[Shawna · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was a good thing I had a great deal of tenacity with this book. I found it poorly put together. The essays that stood out to me were primarily in the middle and back of the book. Gordon's ability to describe someone is fantastic. She picks out the exact details you need to get an emotional and physical picture of that person in only a few sentences. Her language is why I chose this book after reading an essay in a class, and what kept me reading. I found myself skimming parts of essays when they started to drag, but feeling a bit of regret knowing I was probably missing a highlight buried in something otherwise mundane. It's the mundane and the small moments where Gordon shines. She has a way of integrating beautiful language with bare language that packs a punch. I consider this book a teaching book. The narrative of each essay didn't interest me as much as what she did with storytelling and her ability with language. I recommend Book of Days.

[Holly Foley (Procida) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book of essays simultaneously with Emily Fox Gordon's first memoir. In this book she laments about being "forced" to write a memoir when she prefers the essay format. This book is essays and she is much more skilled at writing pieces that are not all woven together. A few of the essays in this book ARE also pieces of the memoir with some narrative connecting text around them. I liked best the essays in here that were NOT part of the memoir. There was a detailed story about waiting with her husband while he has a medical procedure and a nice account of a family wedding. It seemed easier for her to keep and interesting voice and tone for shorter lengths of time. She still is not the most engaging writer I have read recently, but her vocabulary is extensive.

[Iva · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a clear thinker Emily Fox Gordon is! This collection of personal essays--which she makes very clear is not a memoir--are at times brilliant, highly observant, self-absorbed (but how can a personal essay be anything but personal) but always fascinating. Her topics are shadowed by her years in analysis, her wayward youth, her family and life in academic, but on the outside. This is an original, painfully honest and memorable collection from The American Scholar and other similar literary journals.

[Sunni · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really enjoyed one of these essays, "Mockingbird Years." Otherwise, not so much. It just seemed like self-indulgent ramblings and unfathomable angst. I didn't feel like I learned how someone else views the world and is able to interpret that into a language shared. These types of memoirs can teeter on the edge of resonance with the reader, and "oh for gawd's sake get over yourself." For me it tipped to the latter. I really truly didn't want to hear about her thoughts on Kafka or her husband's colonoscopy.

[Mary Louise · Rating 5 out of 5]

For any MFA graduate and/or nonfiction writer, this book is a must-read. Lopate writes that Gordon “tells ruefully the tale of how she was seduced, not once but twice, to write and publish memoirs, instead of being allowed to bring out a collection of personal essays.” Amen. Half the memoir-type nonfiction books published (including most written by the nonfiction faculty of MFA Programs) feel stuffed for the sole purpose of filling the pages of a book. Bring back the personal essay forum!

[Martha]

I found this book difficult because I identified so much with the author's sense of being "on the outside." It is well written, if somewhat slef-indulgent and 'spiky' at times. There are also many insightful passages about life and writing; I have turned down corners on many pages to come back to them.

[Allie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very skillfully done! It was intriguing to read about Emily's life and hard to believe that the stories unraveling are about the woman you would meet now. I especially enjoyed her use of simile and thought that this collection of essays (rather than straight memoir) worked well.

[Janice]

8/25/10

[Linda S]

I didn't finish this book. I didn't enjoy the first third and found myself skimming some chapters and skipping others entirely. When it came due at the library, I returned it without guilt.

[cat · Rating 1 out of 5]

2011 Book 8/100

Book eight was not great.

[Cooky · Rating 1 out of 5]

Good enough writing, but horrible writer. Dis not like the writer as a person at all.

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

Skillfully written, just not my cup of tea

[Julia · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book just felt so honest and human.

[Brian · Rating 3 out of 5]

Paperback used from Amazon. Not sure who recommended this very good collection of essays about life, depression and therapy.

[Andrew Bertaina · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is wonderful. She has an incredible voice for personal essays.

[Erin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read about in the Believer.