Numbers Don't Lie

by Terry Bisson

For the first time, you can get Terry Bisson's three Wilson Wu novelettes in one place, including the Hugo-nominated "Get Me to the Church on Time." Everybody should have a friend like Wilson Wu. He's been a rock musician, an engineer, and a pastry chef; he got halfway into a medical degree and a math Ph.D.; he graduated law school and passed the bar on the first try. Combining meteorology and entomology, he helped on a weather-control project in Quetzalcan. (Don't ask.) And then there's his scholarship on desert caravans. . . . Of course, he's not the main character. That would be Irv, another lawyer, who met him while they were working Legal Aid. Irv's got this talent for stumbling on strange phenomena. Wilson just crunches the numbers. A junkyard dedicated to Volvos conceals a rift in the space-time continuum. A beaded seat cushion in a vacant lot heralds the premature collapse of the universe. And when an airport baggage claim runs like clockwork . . . ? (Shudder.) Check out the math! Bisson has scrupulously illustrated the stories with formulas, all of which have been reviewed for "elegance" by famed mathematician Rudy Rucker.

Genres: Science Fiction, Short Stories, Fiction, Humor, Fantasy

Nook

First published January 1, 2001

About the author

Terry Ballantine Bisson was an American science fiction and fantasy author best known for his short stories, including "Bears Discover Fire" (1990), which which won both the Hugo and Nebula awards, as well as They're Made Out of Meat (1991), which has been adapted for video often.

Adapted from Wikipedia.

Reviews

[Peter Tillman · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a collection of the three Wilson Wu stories (first published in Asimov's, 1994-98), gathered into a nice little fixup 'novel'. The first, "The Hole in the Hole" introduces Wu and his Brooklyn pal Irving, as they search for an all-Volvo junkyard -- which, the author notes, really exists (or did) in the real Hole in darkest Brooklyn. Presumably the real Frankie's lacks the periodic incongruent neotopological adjacency (aka the lunar tire-dump) that is the centerpiece of this convoluted and very entertaining tall tale. Which you may well have already seen -- it was a Hugo nominee, and has been reprinted several times. The other two stories aren't quite up to HOLE -- but they're still pretty darned good. Recommended reading.

[Philip · Rating 3 out of 5]

Compilation of three clever but largely forgettable short stories involving our narrator "Irv" and his multi-purpose-genius best friend, Wilson Wu. Bisson was recommended to me by someone — can't remember who — and this was the only book our library had.

[Jes. Cavanaugh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, just wow. This is three novellas tied together through the main characters. One seems to be just an average Joe who is muddling his way through life, the other a numbers genius who finds major secrets of the universe wherever his friend happens to be. A really easy and fun read. I loved it!

[Britton · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have a New Year’s resolution to read more. So today after work I went to the library after work and picked a sci-fi book at random. The only reason I picked it was that it didn’t seem too long.

I only expected to read like 1/3 tonight but ended up reading the entire thing. What a fantastic writer! I think the word that best describes his writing is “witty”.

Filled with 3 very cool independent yet completely interwoven stories, Terry tells a crazy story about Irv and his buddy Wu. The way Wu speaks is almost non human with how complex his sentences are. He uses equations and math/science terms so often that I immediately got what the author was getting at. The HOW of the science fiction doesn’t matter. Just enjoy the ride. Which I did! I’m going to search for more of his titles asap.

[Dan Trefethen · Rating 4 out of 5]

In the 1990s Terry Bisson published a series of stories in Asimov's magazine about the madcap genius Wilson Wu, as narrated by his friend Irving. All sorts of strange and unlikely science fictional things happen, which Wu excitedly explain by showing some goofball equations (which are reprinted on the page) and exclaiming “Numbers don't lie!”

Finally, in 2005, Tachyon Press pulled together all three Wilson Wu stories and issued a trade paperback. The three stories run chronologically, so one of a subplots is Irving's pursuit of his fiancee and inability to get her to marry him.

These are quirky, funny science fiction stories with gonzo characters. All too rare these days in science fiction. You should check them out. They add up to great fun. Hey, numbers don't lie!

[Brennen C]

All of the stories have good humor and some genuinely good bits that made me laugh. The first story is the best in my opinion, the second is the funniest and the third is a good mix but feels a little long.

[Douglas Sawyer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very quirky, and fun read. Reminds me somewhat of Douglas Adams.

[Ian Hamilton · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wilson Wu is my hero. I also drove a Volvo as my first car at 16. I indulge unhealthily in sci fi. These interconnected stories are zany as hell, and I want more.

[Cody Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quirky. Bizarre. And entirely whimsical. A set of 3 shorts stories that are as unpredictable and mathematically true as one would hope.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

Two lawyers. Three science adventures. LOTS of equations.

[Nicholas Whyte]

http://www.strangehorizons.com/reviews/2006/01/numbers_dont_li.shtml[return][return]"Bears Discover Fire," published fifteen years ago, won more awards than perhaps any other SF story (the Hugo, Nebula, Locus, Sturgeon, and a couple of others). I could never quite understand why; although it is clearly a finely written piece with memorable lines and characterization, I couldn't understand why my American (and even Canadian) friends thought it hilariously funny. Perhaps, I concluded, Terry Bisson's humour just doesn't travel.[return][return]Well, everyone's mileage varies, and it's interesting that the only other write-up I've found for Numbers Don't Lie, by a distinguished reviewer on my side of the Atlantic, concludes that it's funny if you like this sort of thing, which he personally doesn't. I personally did like Numbers Don't Lie. I'll go further I thought it was hilarious.[return][return]It is, quite simply, a series of three linked Tall Tales, set first in Brooklyn, then in Huntsville, Alabama, and finally in both, all originally published in Asimov's. Each story features an extraordinary breach in the fabric of the universe, investigated, resolved, and/or exploited by our narrator, Irv, and his genius friend, Wilson Wu. Each is illustrated with bizarrely complex mathematical formulae (we are told that they have been checked by Rudy Rucker for accuracy and elegance, with the proviso that one of those qualities is more important than the other). Each is told in the droll, dry tone we are used to from Bisson, combined with his powerful sense of place, be it Brooklyn or Huntsville; there is a term used in Celtic studies, dinnseanchas, meaning the connection with the spirit of a particular locality, and it's a quality Bisson demonstrates well here despite the distinctly non-Celtic setting.[return][return]On the other hand, there's not a lot of character development; but you don't expect much of that in a Tall Tale in any case. Wilson Wu, the hero, seems to have been everywhere and done everything, to the point of being able to shape the very universe to suit his needs of the moment. Anyway, he is offscreen entirely in the second story and for most of the third. Our narrator falls in love with a minor character in the first story, moves to Alabama to court her in the second, and marries her in the third. These are merely events; there is no sense that Irv grows or changes between the story's beginning and end.[return][return]Of the three stories, the first is probably the best. A Brooklyn scrapyard turns out to have a direct link with the surface of the moon, and our heroes attempt to salvage remnants of one of the Apollo missions, amid much magic and nostalgia. Both the second and third stories deal in some way with the reversal of entropy; I found the middle section worked least well for me, perhaps because I've never been to Alabama, whereas the final tale, uniting childhood treehouses with a sinister ancient savant (in this case, a Nobel laureate in Real Estate) is pretty satisfying and was nominated for a Hugo in 1999. It adds up to a decent, witty collection which conveys neatly both a vision of the real America and Bisson's surrealist glimpses into the deepest workings of the universe.[return][return]An old friend of mine is a New York-based criminal lawyer, just like Bisson's narrator; I'm buying him this book as a Christmas present. (Though ow! $14.95 for 160 pages? Other publishers sell paperbacks five times that length for a similar price.) He's not especially an SF reader these days, but he'll enjoy it, and so (probably) will you. And finally, nobody writing about this book can be unmoved by the dedication: "To my reviewers: Smart, good-looking and generous, every one"!

[Neil · Rating 4 out of 5]

Math—apparently—makes outlandish goings-on believable. Numbers Don't Lie, a collection of linked stories, Wilson Wu walks his friend Irv through a trip to a dumping ground on the moon; the universe rewinding; and the horror of not having to wait for New York City public transportation.

Irv is pretty much a foil character (in the vein of Watson) but a strong one: A longtime Volvo driver, Irv loves city life but likes to slow down. Wu is certainly difficult to rattle, but the real fun in these stories is his best friend's resigned acceptance of Wu's quirks.

A veritable Buckaroo Banzai, Wu is a multi-talented man: A mathematician, entomological meteorologist, an engineer (on the side, mind you), and a phone phreaker who ends most conversations with an open-ended question. He also has a penchant for explaining things to Irv whether Irv's following along or not.

Mr. Bisson (is that Biss-on or Bye-son?) has crafted three wonderful, readable, stories in this volume. Recommended.

Edits to this review are from re-reading the book. Still enjoying it!

[MB Taylor · Rating 3 out of 5]

Finished reading Numbers Don’t Lie (2005) by Terry Bisson this evening. Numbers Don’t Lie is a collection of 3 not-so-short stories about Irv (unknown last name) and his friend William Wu. The stories are of the comedic science fiction variety with the Science being way over the top.

I’ve read a couple of other Terry Bisson’s short story collections (Bears Discover Fire and Other Stories (1993) and In the Upper Room and Other Likely Stories (2000)). He is an amazing writer. His style may not be for everyone but I’ve enjoyed almost everything of his I’ve read.

His sense of humour is way off into space, and most of his stories will make you think, even as you shake your head. The Irv and Wu stories are some of the oddest. There’s not much very deep going on, but Wu’s math and theories are a riot. Irv’s the straight man who’s always stumbling across the bizzare (although he may not recognize it); Wu’s the genius who produces the most outlandish theories to explain it all.

[Katie O. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Twelve pages in I was bummed to find out this already-short book is actually three short stories since I really dislike reading anything short. Once I confirmed the stories were tightly integrated I happily gobbled them up. I adored how critical plot points and character traits were revealed or determined by math, physics, and other truly fun facts. I was half-tempted to go get my PhD before reading stories 2 and 3 so that I could better appreciate the humor of the equations, but Bisson did such a good job of translating the key aspects of the math with trippy, light-hearted prose that I did not have to do a dissertation after all. However, I would like some 'out takes' on the reality of some of the math principles Bisson uses.

I truly hope math or physics or astronomy or engineering teachers everywhere are using this book to inspire students. Or at least enjoy during their own free time.

[Fantasy Literature · Rating 4 out of 5]

In 2005, Tachyon Press published three of Terry Bisson linked novellas in one volume, called Numbers Don’t Lie. This short, fun book follows Irving, a Brooklynite lawyer, and his genius best friend Wilson Wu on a series of adventures.

Wilson is a six-foot-tall Chinese American polymath; he is a math genius, he’s studied meteorology, botany, Chinese herbs, pastry-making, law and the care of camels at a caravansari in the Gobi. The three stories collected in Numbers Don’t Lie were published separately in Asimov’s. Bisson realized that, combined, the stories have a certain momentum, and by combining them, he also did something insidious — he programmed the reader. By the time you start reading “Get Me to the Church on Time” a story about, well, time, it’s impossible not to laugh.

But first things first. In “The Hole in the Hole,” ... Read More:
http://www.fantasyliterature.com/revi...

[Lake County Public Library]

"Three interlocked stories about a hapless lawyer and his super smart math friend, Wilson Wu. Would you believe: a hole in a rundown junkyard in Brooklyn that leads to the Moon, and the retrieval of a used Lunar Rover? How about the re-winding of the Universe as seen in a discarded auto bead cushion that is re-weaving itself and must be stopped before the Big Crunch? Or a Leisure Universe created from stolen time leaking from an old Dumont TV set in a tree house in Brooklyn? Do numbers lie? Not in this book?"
DB/Reference Emerita

[Steven · Rating 4 out of 5]

Three funny and goofy stories are in Numbers don't lie.

The Hole in the Hole
The Edge of the Universe
Get Me to the Church on Time

Terry Bisson does a great job of sharing the spirit of old school American sci-fiction storytelling from a long time ago. I very much enjoyed it.

I don't know if the humor and quirkiness would travel well with non-United States readers, but they should give it a try anyway.

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bisson is a great writer. This book was quirky, fun, pretty smart and a good quick read.

It's three short stories. It tackles several different themes in Sci-fi and uses a significant amount of weird mathematical equations. I definitely dug it.

[bluetyson]

Numbers Don't Lie by Terry Bisson (2005)

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

These are three very fun novellas from a master yarn-spinner. I had intended to read this book over the course of a week but ended up finishing the whole thing in about 24 hours.

[Karen Grothe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Three short stories about Wilson Wu, who does the math when strange phenomena occur. Formulas were checked by Rudy Rucker “for elegance”. Strange and funny book.

[Traci · Rating 4 out of 5]

There were really great concepts in the third story. His imagination is something else.

[Joe English · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was the funniest thing I've read in recent memory. Literally laughed out loud.