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Cracking Up : My Experiences of Schizophrenia
Description
I have tried to portray the time leading up to my schizophrenia and the experience of psychosis. I have described how I felt in the world of psychiatry especially in relation to the use of cannabis and the never-ending nightmare of long-term heavy use of medication. I have tried to explore my fears, which are usually buried in ones subconscious but come to the fore with this illness. Deirdre Geraghty
About the Author
Deirdre Geraghty was born in the 1950s in South London, she was the fourth of six children born to Irish immigrant parents. Deirdre describes herself as a 1960s free thinker but the 1970s brought a responsible job and marriage to a director of 'Private Eye' magazine. By the 1980s he was out of work and Deirdre was pregnant. She found employment two years later which led to psychiatric hospital and schizophrenia. This was put down to cannabis use and followed by 5 years of psychosis and a divorce. Deirdre and her son moved to Norwich where she spent many years rocking back and forth heavily medicated. She has only recently woken up.
Book Extract
Things started to happen. My husband started whispering with his friend. They would giggle over the 'phone and he told me about the girl he fancied in the Baker shop. He would go to the pub after work and play darts and leave me to it.
Things started to happen at work. People started to be behaving strangely. And my head started to feel like an over-used switchboard. As though all the lines were busy and calls waiting. I could feel, almost hear all the thought of the others around me. I could feel them all thinking about me. As though they were directing thoughts towards me, pushing me, testing me. Can I cope? Of course I will cope, I thought. I must be strong. I will pass this test. I thought I must be telepathic as I can hear all these thoughts being directed towards me.
My husband seemed to be doing the same thing. They must all be in it together. What's going on? I have never experienced anything like this before but I have to keep this job and my home if I am going to bring up the child on my own. Everything seemed to turn into task, I felt I had to pass all sorts of test and then I would no longer be an outsider.....I would be included, accepted. No longer put through all of this. I just had to remain calm and strong and work out what was going on and all this would stop.
I have tried to portray the time leading up to my schizophrenia and the experience of psychosis. I have described how I felt in the world of psychiatry especially in relation to the use of cannabis and the never-ending nightmare of long-term heavy use of medication. I have tried to explore my fears, which are usually buried in ones subconscious but come to the fore with this illness. Deirdre Geraghty
About the Author
Deirdre Geraghty was born in the 1950s in South London, she was the fourth of six children born to Irish immigrant parents. Deirdre describes herself as a 1960s free thinker but the 1970s brought a responsible job and marriage to a director of 'Private Eye' magazine. By the 1980s he was out of work and Deirdre was pregnant. She found employment two years later which led to psychiatric hospital and schizophrenia. This was put down to cannabis use and followed by 5 years of psychosis and a divorce. Deirdre and her son moved to Norwich where she spent many years rocking back and forth heavily medicated. She has only recently woken up.
Book Extract
Things started to happen. My husband started whispering with his friend. They would giggle over the 'phone and he told me about the girl he fancied in the Baker shop. He would go to the pub after work and play darts and leave me to it.
Things started to happen at work. People started to be behaving strangely. And my head started to feel like an over-used switchboard. As though all the lines were busy and calls waiting. I could feel, almost hear all the thought of the others around me. I could feel them all thinking about me. As though they were directing thoughts towards me, pushing me, testing me. Can I cope? Of course I will cope, I thought. I must be strong. I will pass this test. I thought I must be telepathic as I can hear all these thoughts being directed towards me.
My husband seemed to be doing the same thing. They must all be in it together. What's going on? I have never experienced anything like this before but I have to keep this job and my home if I am going to bring up the child on my own. Everything seemed to turn into task, I felt I had to pass all sorts of test and then I would no longer be an outsider.....I would be included, accepted. No longer put through all of this. I just had to remain calm and strong and work out what was going on and all this would stop.
18 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 2, 2009
1 person is currently reading
3 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
May 10, 2017
Working in mental health, I thought that I would find this a fascinating insight into the mind of someone experiencing schizophrenia. It is written with the tangential thought processes one would expect from such an experience, but as such this made it very difficult to read. Jumping from one thought to another, one delusional belief to the next, it allows a glimmer of insight into how disturbing it must be to live with this illness on a daily basis, but because it is written in exactly that way it is very hard to follow. Perhaps that's what the author intended - for the reader to follow the experience as if it were their own.
I started this book in 2015, and it's taken me two years to get up the motivation to finish it, which is reflective of how hard-going I found this to read.
This is a fairly short read so I WOULD recommend purely for gaining an understanding into schizophrenia. It must be highlighted that this is just one person's experience, and there are others out there who go on to live very different lives whilst managing their symptoms - those with lesser understanding of mental health illnesses may accept this account to be representative as a whole, when it is not.
I started this book in 2015, and it's taken me two years to get up the motivation to finish it, which is reflective of how hard-going I found this to read.
This is a fairly short read so I WOULD recommend purely for gaining an understanding into schizophrenia. It must be highlighted that this is just one person's experience, and there are others out there who go on to live very different lives whilst managing their symptoms - those with lesser understanding of mental health illnesses may accept this account to be representative as a whole, when it is not.
March 19, 2019
This is an important read for all people.
As a nursing student in mental health, I struggled with the judgements and misconceptions placed on patients. The terror and pain they were suffering was so real, I wanted to understand where the paranoia and delusions stemmed from. It's never just the drugs or the medications. The problems are always holistic in nature; prescriptions often cause more harm than good, inspiring more fear than trust in the medical system.
To Deirdre, the author, thank you for sharing your story. I commend your bravery and strength. Thank you for helping me understand.
As a nursing student in mental health, I struggled with the judgements and misconceptions placed on patients. The terror and pain they were suffering was so real, I wanted to understand where the paranoia and delusions stemmed from. It's never just the drugs or the medications. The problems are always holistic in nature; prescriptions often cause more harm than good, inspiring more fear than trust in the medical system.
To Deirdre, the author, thank you for sharing your story. I commend your bravery and strength. Thank you for helping me understand.
October 29, 2018
If only they'd listened
Excellent example of fight for survival and the forever tick boxed reactions by professionals overriding the person behind the affliction. So true, a great read for anyone especialy if supporting long term family members where the goal post keep moving in the wrong direction.
Excellent example of fight for survival and the forever tick boxed reactions by professionals overriding the person behind the affliction. So true, a great read for anyone especialy if supporting long term family members where the goal post keep moving in the wrong direction.
September 9, 2020
Poorly Portrayed Story about Mental Illness
I didn’t enjoy the few pages there was to read as
I am doubtful if the Author did ever actually suffer from schizophrenia .
I don’t recommend buying this .
I didn’t enjoy the few pages there was to read as
I am doubtful if the Author did ever actually suffer from schizophrenia .
I don’t recommend buying this .
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews