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The Men I Didn't Marry
The authors of the national bestsellers Mine Are Spectacular! and The Botox Diaries apply their trademark wit and wisdom to another delicious read. Join Hallie Lawrence Pierpont as she’s whisked away on a journey into her past love life that leads to her future.Hallie’s husband, Bill, doesn’t even wait until they get home from dropping off their youngest daughter at Yale to announce that he’s leaving–for fitness trainer Ashlee (two e’s, perky breasts, and shiny hair to boot). After first succumbing to an Oreo-induced coma, Hallie is determined to get her life back. An unexpected call from an old college boyfriend sets a plan in motion. Whatever happened to all those men she didn’t marry? First up is Eric, now an international businessman and number 277 on Forbes’s “Richest People in the World” list. He and Hallie used to put a nickel in the piggy bank every time they made love. Now Eric would like to renew the investment. Next she finds Rav Jon Yoma Maharishi–formerly known as Barry. Her onetime backpacking boyfriend has become the spiritual leader at the Heavenly Spirit Retreat Center, and their reunion would be a little smoother if he weren’t in the midst of a three-day silent meditation. Kevin, the sexiest man she ever met, is now a scuba-diving photographer working on Angelina Jolie’s latest movie. When he seduces her into joining him at his beachfront paradise on Virgin Gorda, Hallie can overlook his gaggle of bikini-clad friends, but can a woman survive on a steady diet of sex, sharks, and air tanks?Back at home with her best friend, Bellini Baxter, Hallie visits an all-night spray-tanning salon and Soho’s legendary Cellulite Exorcist, whose secret weapon looks suspiciously like an Oreck vacuum cleaner. Hallie’s college-age children are protective of their mom but embarrassed to have her back in teenage territory–the world of dating and condoms. Finally, Hallie confronts the great love she swore she’d never see again and resolves an old family secret. Janice Kaplan and Lynn Schnurnberger tell a heartfelt and hilarious story about moving forward by looking back. By turns poignant and laugh-aloud funny, this is a must read for every woman who’s ever wondered about the men she didn’t marry.
306 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 25, 2006
18 people are currently reading
615 people want to read
About the author
Janice Kaplan
21 books186 followersJanice Kaplan is the author of many popular books, including the New York Times bestseller THE GRATITUDE DIARIES and her most recent book, THE GENIUS OF WOMEN. Widely known as a journalist, television producer and magazine editor, she has also written or co-written bestselling novels including THE BOTOX DIARIES, THE MEN I DIDN'T MARRY and MINE ARE SPECTACULAR! as well as the mysteries LOOKS TO DIE FOR and A JOB TO KILL FOR.
Janice was the Editor-in-Chief of Parade Magazine and executive producer of the TV Guide Television Group, where she created and produced television specials that aired primetime on all the major networks. She co-authored the bestseller I'LL SEE YOU AGAIN and the non-fiction HOW LUCK HAPPENS. She began her career as an on-air sports reporter for CBS Radio and went on to be a producer at ABC-TV’s Good Morning America, where she won awards for investigative reporting.
She graduated magna cum laude from Yale University and won Yale's Murray Fellowship for her writing.
Janice was the Editor-in-Chief of Parade Magazine and executive producer of the TV Guide Television Group, where she created and produced television specials that aired primetime on all the major networks. She co-authored the bestseller I'LL SEE YOU AGAIN and the non-fiction HOW LUCK HAPPENS. She began her career as an on-air sports reporter for CBS Radio and went on to be a producer at ABC-TV’s Good Morning America, where she won awards for investigative reporting.
She graduated magna cum laude from Yale University and won Yale's Murray Fellowship for her writing.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 135 reviews
May 21, 2020
Endlich ist es vorbei🙈. Dieses Buch war wirklich ein einziges Klischee. Ich habe es für meinen Buchclub gelesen. Aber es gehört zu der Sorte, bei der es ausreicht, nur die wörtliche Rede zu lesen, um der Geschichte folgen zu können 🙄. Die beiden Sterne gibt es für den flüssigen Schreibstil und weil es mich gelegentlich doch zum Lachen und nicht nur zum Augenrollen brachte.
March 10, 2014
5 AMAZINGLY FUNNY AND ENTERTAINING STARS!
*Re-read for GR.
These authors are just amazing, I love their books and their writing, their characters and plots. It's amazing I can't get enough, only thing that would make this better is if we had a sequel or a shortie if the future. Pretty please.
So we have Hallie Lawrence Pierpont, after leaving her youngest daughter in Yale, her husband Bill doesn't even wait to get home before announcing that he's leaving her for a fitness trainer named Ashlee. After succumbing to an Oreo induced coma, Hallie is determined to get her life back on track, an unexpected call from an old college love sets plans in motion and so this story starts. Whatever did happen to those old boyfriends? All the men I didn’t marry? It just may be time to find out.
The cookies taste much better this way, and I’m pretty sure the freezing process kills off the calories. Plus everybody knows that any food you eat standing up doesn’t count.
This was such a funny and uplifting story, you find yourself laughing from the moment the story starts, it's an adventure that you can't help but feel addicted to, it's amazing.
Time stops and I stand frozen. For a moment, the whole world goes silent and the only sound I hear is a bird off in the distance, with a persistent, mournful call: You’ll be alone you’ll be alone you’ll be alone.
But I can’t even think about that possibility. Anyway, what does a bird know?
The secondary characters are great, Bellini -Hallie's best friend- is witty and free and happy; the kids, are wonderful, and I hope I have kids like that some day lol; Kevin is fucking gorgeous in my mind, I adore him and the ex's too, gosh even Bill was amusing in his mid-life-crisis way!
Bellini shakes her head at my awkwardness. “You’re hopeless. But if you’re not going to talk to Tom, let’s cruise.”
“Did you really just say ‘Tom’ and ‘cruise’ in the same sentence?”
“Not on purpose,” Bellini grins. “But Tom Cruise. That could be our secret code when we’re meeting men. Girlfriend talk for ‘Let’s go find someone else.’ ”
~
Apparently I saved money in a 529 plan all those years so my daughter could go to Yale—and learn to do laundry and have sex.
A MUST READ
*Re-read for GR.
These authors are just amazing, I love their books and their writing, their characters and plots. It's amazing I can't get enough, only thing that would make this better is if we had a sequel or a shortie if the future. Pretty please.
So we have Hallie Lawrence Pierpont, after leaving her youngest daughter in Yale, her husband Bill doesn't even wait to get home before announcing that he's leaving her for a fitness trainer named Ashlee. After succumbing to an Oreo induced coma, Hallie is determined to get her life back on track, an unexpected call from an old college love sets plans in motion and so this story starts. Whatever did happen to those old boyfriends? All the men I didn’t marry? It just may be time to find out.
The cookies taste much better this way, and I’m pretty sure the freezing process kills off the calories. Plus everybody knows that any food you eat standing up doesn’t count.
This was such a funny and uplifting story, you find yourself laughing from the moment the story starts, it's an adventure that you can't help but feel addicted to, it's amazing.
Time stops and I stand frozen. For a moment, the whole world goes silent and the only sound I hear is a bird off in the distance, with a persistent, mournful call: You’ll be alone you’ll be alone you’ll be alone.
But I can’t even think about that possibility. Anyway, what does a bird know?
The secondary characters are great, Bellini -Hallie's best friend- is witty and free and happy; the kids, are wonderful, and I hope I have kids like that some day lol; Kevin is fucking gorgeous in my mind, I adore him and the ex's too, gosh even Bill was amusing in his mid-life-crisis way!
Bellini shakes her head at my awkwardness. “You’re hopeless. But if you’re not going to talk to Tom, let’s cruise.”
“Did you really just say ‘Tom’ and ‘cruise’ in the same sentence?”
“Not on purpose,” Bellini grins. “But Tom Cruise. That could be our secret code when we’re meeting men. Girlfriend talk for ‘Let’s go find someone else.’ ”
~
Apparently I saved money in a 529 plan all those years so my daughter could go to Yale—and learn to do laundry and have sex.
A MUST READ
June 29, 2019
Hello. It’s me. At home on a long weekend reading books I am 95% sure I won’t like but doing it anyway in a bid to cast off another week of fuckery at work. It worked! So if you too need to turn off your brain for a few hours, this book might help. Maybe. Possibly.
July 16, 2009
I enjoy a thoughtless funny book every now and again. This was a perfect mix of comedy and "oh my god, this is my life" moments!
January 16, 2015
This book was a fun and easy read. It was witty and playful. It made me think (and cringe) about the men I didn't marry.
August 9, 2018
Chick Lit. A fun, quick read.
March 17, 2009
This is just a fun read. It won't change your life. It won't really make you think...although the authors do try and throw in a bit of be grateful for what you have, etc...it was fun to read and I did enjoy it. The book does have a lot of totally unbelievable coincidences but...if you can get through that then it's fun to read! Enjoy!
April 30, 2009
This book warmed my heart. I especially liked reading a story about a women closer to my age. I was a bit worried that the story would take an ugly turn when the character seemed to be reconsidering her ex husband, but it all worked out well. Thank goodness. : )
September 5, 2020
Not light but certainly entertaining. Full of emotional twists and turns. Love strong women characters and this book delivers them!
October 12, 2017
Such an entertaining read. Hallie drops off her daughter and Yale and before she even gets to the car, he is breaking up with her after decades of being married. He drives to Manhattan even though they live in the suburbs. So this jerk drives to an apartment in Manhattan and leaves her the car and says that he lives in the apartment with his girlfriend, Ashlee. She is a young personal trainer that he met with the Equinox membership his wife bought him.
Hallie spends some time just trying to deal with the separation and what it means to be in her forties and suddenly single. She decides to go on a hike and has a horrible time. She falls and is bitten by ants and wasps. She gets lost and a handsome friendly stranger helps her. It so happens that he is the best friend of her first love. She ends up going on a date with him and it makes her wonder about the exes that she didn't marry.
She goes to an ashran and meets the European love she had who went with her across Europe. She finds that he is some Yogi and is doing well. She finds out why he never tried to have sex with her all of those years ago.
Kevin she has to go to a remote tropical island to find. She books herself a tip to go by herself but her adult children surprise her by showing up. Her plans to meet up with her high school boyfriend is sabotaged. He is resentful as he takes Angelina Jolie out with them as they go out scuba diving. She ends up making it up to him and stays on the island much much longer than she intended.
There is still one love she can't confront but she is finding herself by finding who she was and learning how to move on to be who she is now.
Hallie spends some time just trying to deal with the separation and what it means to be in her forties and suddenly single. She decides to go on a hike and has a horrible time. She falls and is bitten by ants and wasps. She gets lost and a handsome friendly stranger helps her. It so happens that he is the best friend of her first love. She ends up going on a date with him and it makes her wonder about the exes that she didn't marry.
She goes to an ashran and meets the European love she had who went with her across Europe. She finds that he is some Yogi and is doing well. She finds out why he never tried to have sex with her all of those years ago.
Kevin she has to go to a remote tropical island to find. She books herself a tip to go by herself but her adult children surprise her by showing up. Her plans to meet up with her high school boyfriend is sabotaged. He is resentful as he takes Angelina Jolie out with them as they go out scuba diving. She ends up making it up to him and stays on the island much much longer than she intended.
There is still one love she can't confront but she is finding herself by finding who she was and learning how to move on to be who she is now.
March 10, 2017
A nice, entertaining escape from reality about a woman whose husband just leaves her suddenly and trying to figure where to go from there. Hallie thinks the secret to feeling happy again may be in one of the men she didn't marry, but the lesson in this book is that oftentimes the path not taken was for a reason. Pretty witty book, but as another review pointed out there is a point in story about sister that seems very random and then is quickly resolved, making the reader question why authors added that plotline in the first place. Though I hate using the term "chick-lit," since it demeans books written for women by women, but this chick-lit was surprisingly poignant in its message about not dwelling on the past because you don't know where life may lead.
September 14, 2023
Took nearly a month to knock this one out. It read like a tween book wanting desperately to be for adults.
My pet peeve is elongation for no purpose. The language was simple so there was no reason for 300 pages.
The first page hooked me, but the rest of the 299 pages were garbage. Romance is not my genre, as I would relearn, so I would absolutely not recommend. But maybe you’ll like it? (Probably not)
My pet peeve is elongation for no purpose. The language was simple so there was no reason for 300 pages.
The first page hooked me, but the rest of the 299 pages were garbage. Romance is not my genre, as I would relearn, so I would absolutely not recommend. But maybe you’ll like it? (Probably not)
December 22, 2009
Total chick lit, really funny book. I liked this one.
March 10, 2023
I really enjoyed, "The Men I Didn't Marry" by Janice Kaplan and Lynn Schnurnberger. The novel is well written, at times extremely funny, and always engaging. It is a typical story of a long term marriage meeting its demise when the nest empties out, the kids are all away at college, and the husband decides to replace his devoted wife with a much younger version of her.
Hallie loves her husband Bill. At the start of their novel, the couple drops their youngest child, daughter Emily, at Yale for her first semester. Then, when driving home, Bill seems to be making a side stop when, actually, he is staying where he has stopped, in an apartment in New York City with a young woman named Ashlee (note the double e's, which tell Hallie this woman HAS to be very young). Hallie was completely caught off guard. She has been a loving wife and thought they were both happy. She is an attorney, so she will not be out the street or have to sell the family home, but that does not mean she is not lost and devastated. She does not leave the house for weeks, and when she does, she sets off to find the men she dated in the past, to see if there could be anything left, and if is, worth bringing back to life.
In Hallie's adventures, there are some very funny moments, some surprises, even a second chance at love, but sometimes the choices we made when young, were good ones, and we should listen to our younger selves.
I would never have known there were two authors as the writing was seamless and swift moving. I loved the hours I spent with my head in this book.Hallie is a wonderful woman, with two relatable young adult kids who really do love her, even when they keep some secrets of their own.
Fun book about one woman's ability to start over at mid-life, not letting a man take her joy away forever!
Hallie loves her husband Bill. At the start of their novel, the couple drops their youngest child, daughter Emily, at Yale for her first semester. Then, when driving home, Bill seems to be making a side stop when, actually, he is staying where he has stopped, in an apartment in New York City with a young woman named Ashlee (note the double e's, which tell Hallie this woman HAS to be very young). Hallie was completely caught off guard. She has been a loving wife and thought they were both happy. She is an attorney, so she will not be out the street or have to sell the family home, but that does not mean she is not lost and devastated. She does not leave the house for weeks, and when she does, she sets off to find the men she dated in the past, to see if there could be anything left, and if is, worth bringing back to life.
In Hallie's adventures, there are some very funny moments, some surprises, even a second chance at love, but sometimes the choices we made when young, were good ones, and we should listen to our younger selves.
I would never have known there were two authors as the writing was seamless and swift moving. I loved the hours I spent with my head in this book.Hallie is a wonderful woman, with two relatable young adult kids who really do love her, even when they keep some secrets of their own.
Fun book about one woman's ability to start over at mid-life, not letting a man take her joy away forever!
August 22, 2023
I picked this book up from the discard pile at the local Library. It was published in 2006, so some of the culture references are way tired-like this is before Angeline Jolie and Brad Pitt were a thing and then not. But it made that part funny because you know how it turned out.
ANYWAY. I read it in one sitting, not a literary masterpiece, but I liked the dialogue and the premise. Hallie and her husband have JUST dropped off their youngest at college and Bill informs her that he is moving on. WHAT? She didn't have a clue. After her Oreo splurge and a pep talk from her BBF, Hallie decides to contact all her former boyfriends, three of them, and that other one that she has purposely tried to forget.
It is funny dialogue and an interesting premise. As I know of two people personally that have recently hooked up with old boyfriends. It is an interesting array of men, and her reaction to them, and they to her.
I just enjoyed it, so sue me!
ANYWAY. I read it in one sitting, not a literary masterpiece, but I liked the dialogue and the premise. Hallie and her husband have JUST dropped off their youngest at college and Bill informs her that he is moving on. WHAT? She didn't have a clue. After her Oreo splurge and a pep talk from her BBF, Hallie decides to contact all her former boyfriends, three of them, and that other one that she has purposely tried to forget.
It is funny dialogue and an interesting premise. As I know of two people personally that have recently hooked up with old boyfriends. It is an interesting array of men, and her reaction to them, and they to her.
I just enjoyed it, so sue me!
January 18, 2018
I really didn’t expect this book to be more than just a book for a middle aged woman to talk about her past love life and get all cliche about chances we miss when we’re young but it was so much more than that. Sure there was a fair share of cliche (especially with her best friend) but nothing over powering.
This book was so nice to read at the time in my life where I’m going through boys like that (snaps fingers Lol) like Hallie is looking back on. I get to see things from her (or my) POV twenty years in the future. And I love books that make me question and challenge my current POV.
And I LOVE the way the book ends and that doesn’t happen often.
The author does a really good job connecting pieces she slipped in early in the book at the end too which is always appreciated.
This book was so nice to read at the time in my life where I’m going through boys like that (snaps fingers Lol) like Hallie is looking back on. I get to see things from her (or my) POV twenty years in the future. And I love books that make me question and challenge my current POV.
And I LOVE the way the book ends and that doesn’t happen often.
The author does a really good job connecting pieces she slipped in early in the book at the end too which is always appreciated.
March 4, 2018
I wanted to like this book more, but there were so many false starts, with Hallie repeatedly committing some huge goof or other just as things got going. I get it. Life is messy. Things aren't perfect, but getting ready to settle into her giving Ashlee a good telling-off, only to mistakenly hand her a Sam's Club card, instead of a family photo... and a few other such instances... that was really discouraging. I did feel the book picked up nicely about halfway through, and I enjoyed reading about the time spent on Virgin Gorda- though the arrival of Hallie's kids was really annoying. Again, I get it, the reader is experiencing the same thing the main character is going through, but still...
The BYOB party was a fun twist and a nice way for things to come to a close, though!
The BYOB party was a fun twist and a nice way for things to come to a close, though!
June 29, 2024
This book was all over the place. I didn’t like any of the characters, most of them seemed b*tchy and whiny. And why is Hallie friends with all these vapid chicks but doesn’t seem to have people to hang out with a lot of the time? If she is such a strong, professional woman then why is she so bothered when she has a little time alone? And how in the world does she not get fired?!?
Thoughts during the reading of this insult to chick lit:
Pages 163-164 (as well as later), lawyer-client privilege must not be a valid concern to Hallie.
Pages 229-231, don’t witnesses need to be sworn in for any testimony to be used in court?!? Just because she is Angelina Jolie, all of that is thrown to the wind? Well there’s a mistrial waiting to happen. 🤦♀️
This book sucked.
Thoughts during the reading of this insult to chick lit:
Pages 163-164 (as well as later), lawyer-client privilege must not be a valid concern to Hallie.
Pages 229-231, don’t witnesses need to be sworn in for any testimony to be used in court?!? Just because she is Angelina Jolie, all of that is thrown to the wind? Well there’s a mistrial waiting to happen. 🤦♀️
This book sucked.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 1, 2020
Último livro lido de 2019. Foi uma boa leitura, o livro é divertido. Na deadline diz "É muito engraçado. Eu amei!" não achei tão engrado assim.
As histórias entorno dos reencontros da Hallie são boas, mas acho que as autoras quiseram por muitas coisas e inflar algumas. A história do Dick é muito superficial para estar no final do livro, as autoras quiseram criar um drama, mas elas se perdem na história em Virgem Gorda. Eu fiquei com muito medo de no final e a Hallie fazer besteira, mas ainda bem que ela não fez.
É um chick lit gostosinho de ler, mas não é meu preferido.
As histórias entorno dos reencontros da Hallie são boas, mas acho que as autoras quiseram por muitas coisas e inflar algumas. A história do Dick é muito superficial para estar no final do livro, as autoras quiseram criar um drama, mas elas se perdem na história em Virgem Gorda. Eu fiquei com muito medo de no final e a Hallie fazer besteira, mas ainda bem que ela não fez.
É um chick lit gostosinho de ler, mas não é meu preferido.
July 12, 2023
Audiobook version. Definitely chick lit. Was disappointed in the lead female character. "Get some balls" comes to mind. Not a character that I would look up to. An interesting reflection on the men you could have spent your life with. Was looking for a female character with some real gumption and living life to the fullest after her husband moves on. This seemed like a smoothie when you were looking and expecting a headrushing epic rootbeer float with bubbles and foam. Forgetable.
June 23, 2021
I really enjoyed this book. It was light, funny and witty all rolled into one. The authors did a great job of keeping the story to the point but with enough depth that you really got what the main character was feeling. I may have laughed out loud a couple of times and would recommend this to anyone who doesn't want anything too complicated & hard to follow.
January 24, 2024
Angelina jolie comes in and saves the day is the biggest literally jumping of the shark I've read thus far thus year, and almost every page has a mention of some brand name/ designer. Not worth reading in my opinion unless you don't mind pretentious characters.
August 26, 2017
Cute story, fast read. The characters are very likable and I found myself chuckling several times throughout the book. Perfect beach read.
September 28, 2017
Un libro muy femenino donde vas de la risa, a la reflexión y al coraje, etc.
Si eres mujer en la edad media o recien divorciada o soltera este libro es para ti.
Muy divertido.
Si eres mujer en la edad media o recien divorciada o soltera este libro es para ti.
Muy divertido.
November 13, 2017
A light read about a woman who's husband dumps her after they drop their youngest daughter off at college. She decides to look up her old boyfriends to see what happened to them.
September 16, 2018
Another cute, fast read. I loved the scenery.
January 9, 2020
Good easy read.
Book goes through phases of lacking detail. While revisiting her past boyfriends, the author cut one visit to half a chapter while another got half the book
Book goes through phases of lacking detail. While revisiting her past boyfriends, the author cut one visit to half a chapter while another got half the book
Want to read
April 13, 2020I'm curious to know how the authors summarized all those exes in 285 pages. I'm in with whatever it is that is a quick read.
June 24, 2020
Cute Fluff
Displaying 1 - 30 of 135 reviews