Love Your Husband/Love Yourself: Embracing God's Purpose for Passion in Marriage

by Jennifer Flanders, Doug Flanders (Foreword)

Would you like to take ten years off your appearance, reduce your risk of heart disease, and simultaneously divorce-proof your marriage? Are you plagued by stress-filled days and sleepless nights? Do you long for a deeper, more satisfying relationship to your spouse? Then this is the book for you. It outlines a simple but Scriptural strategy for blessing your husband that, when faithfully applied, will secure blessings beyond measure for yourself, as well. Isn’t it time you embraced God’s purpose for passion in marriage? Isn’t it time you began to unconditionally love your husband… and love yourself?

Genres: Marriage

352 pages, Paperback

First published February 14, 2010

About the author

Jennifer Flanders graduated from Dallas Baptist University with a BS in Mathematics, then went on to do two years of graduate work in the same field at Southern Methodist University before she and her husband started their family, which has grown now to include twelve children and four grandsons (so far). She loves to read, write, teach, work in the garden, and do all sorts of handcrafts. LOVE YOUR HUSBAND/LOVE YOURSELF is her first book.

Reviews

[IrenesBookReviews · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is the talk your Mom never had the nerve to have with you. In most Christian circles sex is not really talked about. If you want to know why it is important to have this time with your husband then this book is perfect for you.

The book is divided into two sections, one is about loving him physically and the other is about loving him unconditionally. The first section has different chapters that describe the benefits of having sex with your husband. The second section, also divided into multiple chapters, is more about ways to show you love him other then the act of sex.

You will probably not agree with everything that is written. I know I did not agree with it all, but I still learned from the book and believe it did help my relationship. I will say, in my opinion, that this book is not for girls younger then college age and best saved for the engaged or married woman!

I won this book in a FirstReads contest.

[Abigail Whitcomb · Rating 5 out of 5]

Need to keep this one on repeat!

[Sky · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every lady should read this before marriage - fantastic book! Definitely read even if you’re already married too.

[Heidi Morrell · Rating 5 out of 5]

My life started changing from the first chapter. Although I had been told by my Mom that "once you're married, anything goes", what I failed to realize was that I never should have denied my husband (except for cases of medical recoveries, etc.). Although my dear husband and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary in July 2022, I truly wish I had read this book 25 years ago! With Biblical, sound doctrine to back up each chapter, I am learning to GIVE and not "go with whatever flow" I happen to be going through at the moment. Instead of being selfish, I now seek to build up my husband, and because I am honoring the Lord in this way, we (my husband and I) both benefit! I'm super excited for how the Lord may choose to honor our union in the present and future -- and "you can never pray too much"! ;) I purchased several paperback copies, and plan on gifting each of our daughters one before they marry! :)

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I recently read the eBook version of the book, Love Your Husband/ Love Yourself by Jennifer Flanders. This book is about embracing God’s purpose for passion in marriage. It outlines a Scripturally based strategy for blessing your husband. When these strategies are applied to your marriage, they will strengthen it. Love Your Husband/ Love Yourself encourages Christian wives to embrace God’s purpose for passion in marriage.

Unlike many other books on the subject, Love Your Husband/ Love Yourself jumps right into the physical aspect of marriage right from the beginning. The entire first half of the book is about how and why we should make the physical aspect of marriage and important priority. It covers everything from “What’s in it for me?” to how an active sex life reduces stress and rids our homes of tension and strife. It also covers the health benefits of an active sex life for both the wife and the husband. Part one of the book is extensive and contains eleven chapters.

Part two of Love Your Husband/ Love Yourself moves from the physical act of love to the emotional side of love. It focuses on how to love your husband unconditionally. This part explores God’s original purpose for marriage and how to better relate to and love your husband unconditionally. This section of the book contains nine chapters.

I read this book over a couple of months, generally reading 2-3 chapters a week. Love Your Husband/ Love Yourself contains a lot of information–it’s not a quick and leisurely read. I highly recommend you take your time with this one and to often stop and contemplate what you read. I do feel that Love Your Husband/ Love Yourself is a very good and Scripturally based book. I would recommend it to any married or engaged woman. I feel that all Christian wives would find helpful and useful information from it to strengthen their marriages.

The ONLY two things I got a little tired of or did not like was the author’s use of quotes and her using quotes from Debi Pearl. I believe the author over did it with the quoting other authors. While many were helpful there were just SO many of them. Without them, this book would probably be about half as long. I honestly just found it a bit tiring. I also did not like that she used quotes from Debi Pearl on several occasions. I do not personally agree with nor support much of what Michael and Debi Pearl teach. Thankfully, the quotes from Debi Pearl were reasonable ones and not some of her more outlandish and abrasive ones.

Overall, I would certainly recommend Love Your Husband/ Love Yourself to Christians wives wanting to understand their husbands better and strengthen their marriage ties. Jennifer Flanders did a fine job writing about the delicate subject of sex within a marriage and gave a good perspective of how it fits into a godly marriage.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

Title: LOVE YOUR HUSBAND LOVE YOURSELF
Author: Jennifer Flanders
Publisher: Prescott Publishing
February 2010
ISBN: 978-0-9826269-0-0
Genre: Inspirational/nonfiction/marriage

LOVE YOUR HUSBAND LOVE YOURSELF is not just another marriage book. Ms. Flanders practices what she “preaches” which became very clear in the reading of this book. Unlike most other books about marriage, this book starts out with “sex”, teaching women about the importance of loving your husband physically, and explaining about the different sexual needs that a man has than his wife. As she says in the book, “You can find someone else to do his laundry, cook his food, clean his house, and raise his children, but you are the only one who can rightfully love him.”

LOVE YOUR HUSBAND LOVE YOURSELF is divided up into two parts: Part One: Love Him Physically, and Part Two: Love Him Unconditionally. The first part is much longer than the second part and has several sections that explain how that loving your husband physically can do several things, such as:

1. Knit your hearts together
2. Protect against heart disease, cancer and other illnesses
3. Serve as an antidote for depression
4. Provides deeper sleep
5. Make you look and feel younger
6. Rid your home of stress and tension
7. Provide the couple with children
and more.

The book also stresses that in order for the husband to lead, the wife must be willing to follow. It also addresses learning how to control the tongue, the importance of building him up, and other such topics.

A lot of the subjects talked about in this book are common sense, but they are things that people (women) tend to not do. They are busy, husband does something they see as stupid, and they react accordingly. This is not appropriate, or Godly. Most of the book, as I said earlier, focuses on the importance of sex—to him. Which boils down to, do it, whether you feel like it or not.

If you are serious about improving your marriage, about making it stronger, and affirming the man you married, then LOVE YOUR HUSBAND LOVE YOURSELF is definitely a book to put on your must-read list. There are extensive end-notes and bibliographies included at the back of the book, in case you want to do more study on a certain area. $14.95. 328 pages.

[Cheryl Malandrinos · Rating 4 out of 5]

Though Ephesians 5:22-33 is considered a controversial portion of Scripture in today's modern world, Flanders shows throughout her book that this is the way marriage was designed to be by our Creator from the moment He created Eve for Adam. Sharing her personal experience as a wife and mother, the author indicates the many benefits if you embrace God's purpose for passion in marriage.

What Flanders points out so well in Love Your Husband Love Yourself is that this Biblical view of marriage is not easy. It takes commitment, dedication, and most of all--prayer. Toward the end of the book, she is talking about marriage being a marathon, not a hundred-yard dash. This is so true. We need to keep our eye on the goal and keep moving forward.

If you've struggled with accepting God's purpose for passion in marriage or if you would like to explore more on this topic, Love Your Husband Love Yourself is an excellent resource.

[Katheryn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jennifer has written a wonderful book for wives on marriage. I have read many books on the subject of marital intimacy but none that represent so many well-researched perspectives coupled with Biblical truths that are carefully interjected at just the right time. This book was encouraging, helpful, and hopeful. It not only contains guidance on marital intimacy and the importance of that in a Biblical marriage but it also contains helpful suggestions on fostering great communication, a good home environment, and an understanding of your husband. I cannot think of a more critical topic for marriages of today. This book should be in every married woman’s library and I will be giving it at wedding showers from now on. Unfortunately, not enough women feel able to discuss marital intimacy with others. This book will bridge that gap.

[Stacey Lucky · Rating 2 out of 5]

pretty good

[Erynne Smith · Rating 1 out of 5]

Total garbage.

[Leila · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent!!! A pleasant read with plenty of encouragement and food for thought.