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Help, I Am Being Held Prisoner
Harry Kunt, an incurable practical joker, has the opportunity to practice his craft in a new setting when he is sentenced to five-to-fifteen years in the state pen
213 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1974
54 people are currently reading
508 people want to read
About the author
Donald E. Westlake
434 books955 followersDonald E. Westlake (1933-2008) was one of the most prolific and talented authors of American crime fiction. He began his career in the late 1950's, churning out novels for pulp houses—often writing as many as four novels a year under various pseudonyms such as Richard Stark—but soon began publishing under his own name. His most well-known characters were John Dortmunder, an unlucky thief, and Parker, a ruthless criminal. His writing earned him three Edgar Awards: the 1968 Best Novel award for God Save the Mark; the 1990 Best Short Story award for "Too Many Crooks"; and the 1991 Best Motion Picture Screenplay award for The Grifters. In addition, Westlake also earned a Grand Master Award from the Mystery Writers of America in 1993.
Westlake's cinematic prose and brisk dialogue made his novels attractive to Hollywood, and several motion pictures were made from his books, with stars such as Lee Marvin and Mel Gibson. Westlake wrote several screenplays himself, receiving an Academy Award nomination for his adaptation of The Grifters, Jim Thompson's noir classic.
Some of the pseudonyms he used include
• Richard Stark
• Timothy J. Culver
• Tucker Coe
• Curt Clark
• J. Morgan Cunningham
• Judson Jack Carmichael
• D.E. Westlake
• Donald I. Vestlejk
• Don Westlake
Westlake's cinematic prose and brisk dialogue made his novels attractive to Hollywood, and several motion pictures were made from his books, with stars such as Lee Marvin and Mel Gibson. Westlake wrote several screenplays himself, receiving an Academy Award nomination for his adaptation of The Grifters, Jim Thompson's noir classic.
Some of the pseudonyms he used include
• Richard Stark
• Timothy J. Culver
• Tucker Coe
• Curt Clark
• J. Morgan Cunningham
• Judson Jack Carmichael
• D.E. Westlake
• Donald I. Vestlejk
• Don Westlake
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 104 reviews
July 3, 2018
Should someone be put in prison for a practical joke?
Yes. All practical jokers belong in jail. Or hell.
Harry has been an unrepentant prankster his entire life, but now he has been locked up after one of his jokes went wrong which resulted in several injuries. Once inside he quickly bumbles onto the secret of several other inmates. There was an opportunity during construction of a prison expansion to build a tunnel which they use to regularly leave. This isn’t for escape because none of these guys have long enough sentences to want to live on the run, but rather they just use the tunnel to go out and do the things they can’t while in jail only to return each night. Harry gets cut in on the scheme, and he enjoys the quasi-freedom it allows him. However, there’s a big catch. The inmates have realized that they have the ultimate alibi of being in prison so they've got an ambitious plan to rob two banks at once, and they demand that Harry take part in it. This puts Harry in a real bind since he may be in jail, but he’s no crook.
The late Donald Westlake was capable of doing both drama and comedy well, and as a lighthearted story written for yucks it works surprisingly well. I was worried in the early going because I really dislike practical jokers, and I thought that he’d be asking a reader to find Harry’s pranks hilarious. Instead Westlake makes it clear that this behavior is beyond annoying, but that Harry has a sick compulsion even when he knows the warden is watching him like a hawk and that his fellow inmates will murder him if they find out he's the one responsible. The humor comes from just how incapable Harry is of stopping, and the casual way we learn about the reign of terror he’s inflicting on hardened criminals. There’s a lesson for Harry in this story so that kept the book from asking me to be on the side of a guy who thinks tying someone’s shoe laces together is funny.
There’s also a running gag about Harry’s last name sounding like a vulgar term which I’m not gonna try to replicate here because I don’t have the patience to figure out how to do an umlaut. As with the practical joke angle I worried that Westlake was going for the most obvious and juvenile thing when it actually turns out to have some deeper meaning explaining Harry’s behavior.
So what we end up with is an enjoyable caper that makes for an entertaining couple of hours of fun reading.
However, I do find myself wishing that Westlake might have used this idea in one of his serious crime books he wrote as Richard Stark. If the humorless thief Parker would have run across a practical joker who screwed up his plans to rob a bank, and then got his big meaty paws around that guy’s neck and squeezed until he turned purple…. Yeah, that’d make for a pretty satisfying book, too.
Yes. All practical jokers belong in jail. Or hell.
Harry has been an unrepentant prankster his entire life, but now he has been locked up after one of his jokes went wrong which resulted in several injuries. Once inside he quickly bumbles onto the secret of several other inmates. There was an opportunity during construction of a prison expansion to build a tunnel which they use to regularly leave. This isn’t for escape because none of these guys have long enough sentences to want to live on the run, but rather they just use the tunnel to go out and do the things they can’t while in jail only to return each night. Harry gets cut in on the scheme, and he enjoys the quasi-freedom it allows him. However, there’s a big catch. The inmates have realized that they have the ultimate alibi of being in prison so they've got an ambitious plan to rob two banks at once, and they demand that Harry take part in it. This puts Harry in a real bind since he may be in jail, but he’s no crook.
The late Donald Westlake was capable of doing both drama and comedy well, and as a lighthearted story written for yucks it works surprisingly well. I was worried in the early going because I really dislike practical jokers, and I thought that he’d be asking a reader to find Harry’s pranks hilarious. Instead Westlake makes it clear that this behavior is beyond annoying, but that Harry has a sick compulsion even when he knows the warden is watching him like a hawk and that his fellow inmates will murder him if they find out he's the one responsible. The humor comes from just how incapable Harry is of stopping, and the casual way we learn about the reign of terror he’s inflicting on hardened criminals. There’s a lesson for Harry in this story so that kept the book from asking me to be on the side of a guy who thinks tying someone’s shoe laces together is funny.
There’s also a running gag about Harry’s last name sounding like a vulgar term which I’m not gonna try to replicate here because I don’t have the patience to figure out how to do an umlaut. As with the practical joke angle I worried that Westlake was going for the most obvious and juvenile thing when it actually turns out to have some deeper meaning explaining Harry’s behavior.
So what we end up with is an enjoyable caper that makes for an entertaining couple of hours of fun reading.
However, I do find myself wishing that Westlake might have used this idea in one of his serious crime books he wrote as Richard Stark. If the humorless thief Parker would have run across a practical joker who screwed up his plans to rob a bank, and then got his big meaty paws around that guy’s neck and squeezed until he turned purple…. Yeah, that’d make for a pretty satisfying book, too.
August 26, 2022
If you're looking for a gritty prison crime fiction novel turn away now, Help I Am Being Held Prisoner is pretty much the opposite; professional prankster, Harold Kunt (with an umlaut) finds himself in prison after a prank turned foul, causing multiple injuries to motorists including a couple of high powered politicians. Now he's serving time, rubbing shoulders with con men, mobsters, and violent street thugs - he's completely out of his depth and comfort zone - so how does he manage to rob a couple of banks?
Help I Am Being Held Prisoner is loaded with laughs using the trademark Westlake humor. Even the crimes committed comprise elements of jocularity which few other writers could pull off while managing to both; convey a sense of dangerous urgency and subtle satire.
While the pranks, the stop-start nature of the bank job, and the comings and goings of the prison populace grew a tad tiresome, it was a fun ride all the way through to the ending.
My rating: 3.5/5 - Westalke didn't take all his characters seriously and this book is all the better for it. Recommended for fans of Carl Hiaasen and Marc Lecard.
Help I Am Being Held Prisoner is loaded with laughs using the trademark Westlake humor. Even the crimes committed comprise elements of jocularity which few other writers could pull off while managing to both; convey a sense of dangerous urgency and subtle satire.
While the pranks, the stop-start nature of the bank job, and the comings and goings of the prison populace grew a tad tiresome, it was a fun ride all the way through to the ending.
My rating: 3.5/5 - Westalke didn't take all his characters seriously and this book is all the better for it. Recommended for fans of Carl Hiaasen and Marc Lecard.
May 20, 2015
Poor Italian translator, trying to find a possible substitute/translation of Kunt (no umlaut here, sorry Henry)! Because, you know, if you tell someone that they are 'female external genitalia' in Italian you are paying them a compliment (albeit a vulgar one), it's like telling them they are cool and goodlooking!
So we have Henry Vomitt, bad enough but not so bad, in my opinion, because it's maybe more disgusting but it's not taboo or vulgar at all.
The title of the Italian translation is also quite bad, because it gives the end away and it doesn't make much sense until you read the last chapter.
BTW: I have read this book translated into Czech too and there was no problem there, kunt being close enough to 'kunda', which means the same and it's possibly even more taboo.
So we have Henry Vomitt, bad enough but not so bad, in my opinion, because it's maybe more disgusting but it's not taboo or vulgar at all.
The title of the Italian translation is also quite bad, because it gives the end away and it doesn't make much sense until you read the last chapter.
BTW: I have read this book translated into Czech too and there was no problem there, kunt being close enough to 'kunda', which means the same and it's possibly even more taboo.
February 14, 2018
Can't You Take A Joke?
Westlake, one of the grandmasters of crime fiction, originally published this short comedic crime story in 1974, but Hard Case has unearthed it from its secret tomb and republished it. Westlake must have been watching a lot of Hogan's Heroes when he wrote this, only here it's not a POW camp in Germany, but a prison in the northeast. Westlake wrote two dozen Parker novels about a tough criminal who committed capers and four Grofield caper novels, all under the pseudonym Richard Stark. Help I Am Being Held Prisoner is clearly a close cousin to the Parker and Grofield novels. This is a caper novel - about gathering he crew and planning the caper and everything that could go wrong. It's just that Harry Künt was not the rock-solid customer that Parker was. He was a practical joker who couldn't stop - not even behind bars. It's a book that doesn't take itself too seriously. It's a fairly short, quick read. And it's lots of fun.
Westlake, one of the grandmasters of crime fiction, originally published this short comedic crime story in 1974, but Hard Case has unearthed it from its secret tomb and republished it. Westlake must have been watching a lot of Hogan's Heroes when he wrote this, only here it's not a POW camp in Germany, but a prison in the northeast. Westlake wrote two dozen Parker novels about a tough criminal who committed capers and four Grofield caper novels, all under the pseudonym Richard Stark. Help I Am Being Held Prisoner is clearly a close cousin to the Parker and Grofield novels. This is a caper novel - about gathering he crew and planning the caper and everything that could go wrong. It's just that Harry Künt was not the rock-solid customer that Parker was. He was a practical joker who couldn't stop - not even behind bars. It's a book that doesn't take itself too seriously. It's a fairly short, quick read. And it's lots of fun.
April 17, 2021
A classic comedic heist novel from the great Donald E. Westlake. When a practical joker ends up in prison for one of his pranks he finds himself drawn into bank robbery plans that he wants nothing to do with. A plan to rob two banks simultaneously while they are still incarcerated. Hilarity ensues as he becomes deeply entangled in the plot while trying to prank his way out until his prison term is up.
June 15, 2021
When a practical joker is sent to prison (where he probably belongs, IMHO) he gets involved in a scheme to rob two banks. If he gets caught with his jokes, he will be shivved by the inmates.
He tries to stop the robberies while part of the gang, tries not to get caught with his jokes, and falls in love.
Quite a story.
He tries to stop the robberies while part of the gang, tries not to get caught with his jokes, and falls in love.
Quite a story.
September 29, 2016
Harry Künt (WITH an umlaut, and pronounced KOONT) finds himself in prison after pulling one practical joke too many, resulting in the accidental injury of two Congressmen (and the women – not their wives – who accompanied them). The warden warns him to keep out of trouble and Harry wholeheartedly agrees. But when he’s assigned work detail in the gym he winds up part of a gang who is planning the perfect crime. Being in prison, they’ll have the perfect alibi.
Westlake excelled at writing comic crime capers, where something always goes wrong, but no one is shot or seriously injured. There are plenty of escapades herein and some were laugh-out-loud funny. It’s a bit dated (needing a dime to make a collect call at a pay phone, for example), but it’s still good, clean fun.
A quick, enjoyable read.
Westlake excelled at writing comic crime capers, where something always goes wrong, but no one is shot or seriously injured. There are plenty of escapades herein and some were laugh-out-loud funny. It’s a bit dated (needing a dime to make a collect call at a pay phone, for example), but it’s still good, clean fun.
A quick, enjoyable read.
January 2, 2022
I love Donald Westlake. His characters are buffoons, generally good-hearted ones, who somehow find themselves on the wrong side of the law. Our protagonist Harold Künt is in prison for a practical joke gone very wrong. Yes, his name is an ongoing joke. Harry is prepared to keep his head down and do his time quietly. Somehow he gets drawn into a gang with a secret tunnel and elaborate plans to rob a couple of banks. Westlake’s characters remind me of cruder Whodehouse characters. Bumbling around, making foolish mistakes, misunderstood, and very, very entertaining.
* my new year’s resolution is to stay on top of my reviews. Off to a good start!
* my new year’s resolution is to stay on top of my reviews. Off to a good start!
January 20, 2023
Westlake when a little off his game is better than most others when on theirs.
It isn't his best, but it's still an amusing distraction.
It isn't his best, but it's still an amusing distraction.
December 6, 2018
It's been years since I've read a Donald E. Westlake novel and I'd forgotten how much fun they can be. This is a wonderful tale about Harold (Harry) Künt who has had lifelong problems over the pronunciation of his surname. As a result, Harry's taken revenge on the world by becoming a master of the practical joke. This leads him to being sent to prison when one of his pranks goes badly wrong. In prison he meets up with a group of criminals who are planning a double bank heist.
These men oversee the prison gym and have access to a tunnel which means they can "escape" whenever they want as long as they return for 2 daily head counts. Harry is none to keen in taking part in one bank robbery - never mind two! - as he doesn't see himself as a hardened criminal. As a result, he spends a lot of his time on the "outside" coming up with various means of preventing the double bank robbery from going ahead. This is a fast, easy and fun read and I'm thankful that Hard Case Crime has republished this gem nearly 45 years after its' original release. Great fun!
These men oversee the prison gym and have access to a tunnel which means they can "escape" whenever they want as long as they return for 2 daily head counts. Harry is none to keen in taking part in one bank robbery - never mind two! - as he doesn't see himself as a hardened criminal. As a result, he spends a lot of his time on the "outside" coming up with various means of preventing the double bank robbery from going ahead. This is a fast, easy and fun read and I'm thankful that Hard Case Crime has republished this gem nearly 45 years after its' original release. Great fun!
May 3, 2020
"Help I Am Being Held Prisoner" is one of the better additions to the Hard Case Crime series.
Given prior entries from this publisher, I originally expected a noir-style thriller about a bunch of prisoners attempting to rob a bank while trapped behind bars. However, this book is a comedy about a prankster who goes to jail for a prank that went too far. In lieu of reformation, he finds himself reluctantly embroiled alongside hardened criminals in a plot to rob the local military base and two banks.
The story was a bit slow getting off the line, but the comedy really ramps up in the third portion of the book (particularly during the bank robbery itself, which is lacking of action but is filled with humor). The cast of characters surrounding the main character are unfortunately unmemorable with the exception of Eddie Troyn, a former military man who can't seem to shake off his lieutenant persona. The love story that's introduced about halfway through the book also seems a bit ancillary to the plot and doesn't have any major impact on the development of characters or events.
Nonetheless, the main story is interesting and the protagonist humorous.
The story felt like an extended episode of Seinfeld about criminals and a bank heist.
Given prior entries from this publisher, I originally expected a noir-style thriller about a bunch of prisoners attempting to rob a bank while trapped behind bars. However, this book is a comedy about a prankster who goes to jail for a prank that went too far. In lieu of reformation, he finds himself reluctantly embroiled alongside hardened criminals in a plot to rob the local military base and two banks.
The story was a bit slow getting off the line, but the comedy really ramps up in the third portion of the book (particularly during the bank robbery itself, which is lacking of action but is filled with humor). The cast of characters surrounding the main character are unfortunately unmemorable with the exception of Eddie Troyn, a former military man who can't seem to shake off his lieutenant persona. The love story that's introduced about halfway through the book also seems a bit ancillary to the plot and doesn't have any major impact on the development of characters or events.
Nonetheless, the main story is interesting and the protagonist humorous.
The story felt like an extended episode of Seinfeld about criminals and a bank heist.
January 15, 2019
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I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
When I started reading Help I Am Being Held Prisoner, I assumed it to be a really funny book that would have me laughing like an a-hole. And no, that wasn't because of what Stephen King wrote about the book (although that was partly the reason). But the main reason was the blurb. It seemed funny. I mean, a guy who moves into the prison because he was technically nothing more than a prankster. And that is no reason to send someone to jail, is there? That is precisely what I wanted to find out when I started to read this book. That and how the hell could someone steal from a bank when he is already behind bars. (Well, I sort of understood how almost 40 pages in but the details weren't revealed until later!)
In this book, Donald E. Westlake has written a rather funny true crime fiction, if such a thing is even possible. Surprisingly, the story worked completely fine. Of course, I didn't laugh so hard that I had to pee but for a book, that was something. Westlake made it clear how Harry's pranks were annoying, and how he didn't really expect any of us to like him for it. (Yes, he didn't ask us to like Harry for his pranks! Which author has ever done that with his protagonist?) Instead, he shows us how this is just a compulsive disorder on Harry's part. Honestly, this was one of the best things I found about the book!
Other than that, I think I found his writing style a little boring but that's okay because really, I was fine with reading the book. Harry seems like an irritating protagonist but eh...
Overall, it was a pretty satisfying and light read. I won't go so far as to put it under serious Crime Fiction or True Crime but rest assured, it would make for a good laugh under Humor.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
When I started reading Help I Am Being Held Prisoner, I assumed it to be a really funny book that would have me laughing like an a-hole. And no, that wasn't because of what Stephen King wrote about the book (although that was partly the reason). But the main reason was the blurb. It seemed funny. I mean, a guy who moves into the prison because he was technically nothing more than a prankster. And that is no reason to send someone to jail, is there? That is precisely what I wanted to find out when I started to read this book. That and how the hell could someone steal from a bank when he is already behind bars. (Well, I sort of understood how almost 40 pages in but the details weren't revealed until later!)
In this book, Donald E. Westlake has written a rather funny true crime fiction, if such a thing is even possible. Surprisingly, the story worked completely fine. Of course, I didn't laugh so hard that I had to pee but for a book, that was something. Westlake made it clear how Harry's pranks were annoying, and how he didn't really expect any of us to like him for it. (Yes, he didn't ask us to like Harry for his pranks! Which author has ever done that with his protagonist?) Instead, he shows us how this is just a compulsive disorder on Harry's part. Honestly, this was one of the best things I found about the book!
Other than that, I think I found his writing style a little boring but that's okay because really, I was fine with reading the book. Harry seems like an irritating protagonist but eh...
Overall, it was a pretty satisfying and light read. I won't go so far as to put it under serious Crime Fiction or True Crime but rest assured, it would make for a good laugh under Humor.
July 7, 2018
Westlake must be among the top ten of all time for obviously enjoying the art of writing. Sure, he probably worked at it as hard as anyone, but I can easily picture him laughing as another zinger lands on the page. As I read Westlake, I can imagine him watching me closely for the eyebrow lift, the twitch of lip, and other clues that another laugh is building up exactly as he intended.
Our hero is ridiculous, but so obviously well-meaning that we can't dislike him. The plot is ridiculous, but never out of control. We spend the whole book just one step short of absurdity.
I particularly enjoyed trying to figure out whether the warden was incompetent, or really did, as he claimed, know exactly what was going on in his prison and was OK with it.
The whole "but I didn't do THAT one!" was well played.
The best part, though, is the finding of the little word jewels throughout. I won't give them away, except to say that one particularly fine one included Marian. If you've read the book, you won't have missed them.
A wonderful lightweight read by a master writer.
Our hero is ridiculous, but so obviously well-meaning that we can't dislike him. The plot is ridiculous, but never out of control. We spend the whole book just one step short of absurdity.
I particularly enjoyed trying to figure out whether the warden was incompetent, or really did, as he claimed, know exactly what was going on in his prison and was OK with it.
The whole "but I didn't do THAT one!" was well played.
The best part, though, is the finding of the little word jewels throughout. I won't give them away, except to say that one particularly fine one included Marian. If you've read the book, you won't have missed them.
A wonderful lightweight read by a master writer.
January 9, 2019
My Rating: 3.5 stars
‘Help I am being Held Prisoner’ by Donald E. Westlake is comical, waggish and somewhat ludicrous. It’s about a prankster who ended up in the Jail when one of his pranks goes awfully wrong. It’s not really the hard crime fiction, but rather a funny account of bank robbery, prison life, and a few interesting characters.
The narration comprises of dialogues, conversations, and talks. The composition of words and dialogues did leave me giggling and smiling as I read. The funniest in the book were the jokes played by the protagonist to stop his fellow inmates to rob the bank. And when finally, the bank robbery did happen, it was with complete hysterical fashion.
This book by Donald E. Westlake is a witty fiction originally written around the 1970s which could be picked for an easy-peasy read. An amusing story which will certainly keep you occupied. Could be picked up for a one time read.
‘Help I am being Held Prisoner’ by Donald E. Westlake is comical, waggish and somewhat ludicrous. It’s about a prankster who ended up in the Jail when one of his pranks goes awfully wrong. It’s not really the hard crime fiction, but rather a funny account of bank robbery, prison life, and a few interesting characters.
The narration comprises of dialogues, conversations, and talks. The composition of words and dialogues did leave me giggling and smiling as I read. The funniest in the book were the jokes played by the protagonist to stop his fellow inmates to rob the bank. And when finally, the bank robbery did happen, it was with complete hysterical fashion.
This book by Donald E. Westlake is a witty fiction originally written around the 1970s which could be picked for an easy-peasy read. An amusing story which will certainly keep you occupied. Could be picked up for a one time read.
December 8, 2019
There really aren't any bad Westlake crime-caper novels, but this was one of the weaker ones that I've read. I was hoping for something better.... Harry Kunt (with an umlaut) hates his name -- can't imagine why. I did like Marion, his unlikely girlfriend, who finds Harry very entertaining. And there are certainly moments, many featuring Marion. But it's hard to do convincing character-sketches, with a big cast, in a short, stand-alone novel.
Oh, well. It's not like he'll be writing more. And could have just been me. 2.7 stars
Oh, well. It's not like he'll be writing more. And could have just been me. 2.7 stars
July 25, 2018
Just a joy of a read. So light, airy, easy, fun, funny. I guess you could knock it for not having much in the way of stakes for the lead, or for somewhat weak obstacles to overcome, but I just enjoyed it too much to care. Westlake at his lightest is still an extraordinarily sharp writer, and there are plenty of little nuggets of brilliance to mine here.
TL;DR shut up and enjoy.
TL;DR shut up and enjoy.
October 9, 2009
My all-time, bust-a-gut howling favorite! I will NEVER be able to re-read this enough!!!
October 23, 2020
Nobody writes funnier crime stuff that Donald Westlake did. This time around, it's not the usual "Dortmunder" crew, but instead a while new gaggle of crooks. Harry is a nice guy-- but he has a German last name that is often mispronounced as a vulgar name for a woman's private parts-- and as a youngster he develops a defense mechanism-- he becomes the ultimate practical joker. That leads to a huge practical joke that results in a multi-car accident that results in a number of injured people and a couple of embarrassed congressmen. Hence, the law throws the book at him and he winds up doing a 2-3 stint in prison. Once there, because he is not a violent offender, he gets offered "special duty" that has very little check-in, etc. and discovers that his fellow workers have a way out of the prison. Not that they want to break out.. but instead, they are running a Hogan's Heroes type operation from the prison-- committing crimes with the perfect alibi-- "We were in prison." They soon bring Harry in on their plan to rob a couple of banks-- but Harry is a non-violent offender and not excited about such a scheme.
From that point on Harry has to use every practical joke in his book in order to try to keep the robberies from taking place.. In an effort not to be discovered by his fellows, he tries to keep his practical joker past from becoming exposed... and keeps thwarting the robberies.
But there is a problem- someone keeps playing practical jokes by revealing a message that says "Help! I'm being held prisoner!" The warden keeps thinking it is Harry because of his past-- so this keeps getting him in trouble with the warden.
Okay-- one has to remove our thinking from reality to an extent-- but if we can do it for The Avengers films and comic books, why not comical crime novels? The author keeps the predicaments, and the jokes coming-- and the reader keeps looking to see if the robberies will get committed and trying to figure out who keeps sending the notes... This all builds to a fun conclusion as we discover Harry is not the best practical joker-- someone else is better than he is.
This is a very pleasant book and I enjoyed it just about as much as I enjoy the Dortmunder series by this author. From page one, the reader is treated to comical pacing, clever concepts, and fast quips. This one is a treat from the beginning until the very clever conclusion.
From that point on Harry has to use every practical joke in his book in order to try to keep the robberies from taking place.. In an effort not to be discovered by his fellows, he tries to keep his practical joker past from becoming exposed... and keeps thwarting the robberies.
But there is a problem- someone keeps playing practical jokes by revealing a message that says "Help! I'm being held prisoner!" The warden keeps thinking it is Harry because of his past-- so this keeps getting him in trouble with the warden.
Okay-- one has to remove our thinking from reality to an extent-- but if we can do it for The Avengers films and comic books, why not comical crime novels? The author keeps the predicaments, and the jokes coming-- and the reader keeps looking to see if the robberies will get committed and trying to figure out who keeps sending the notes... This all builds to a fun conclusion as we discover Harry is not the best practical joker-- someone else is better than he is.
This is a very pleasant book and I enjoyed it just about as much as I enjoy the Dortmunder series by this author. From page one, the reader is treated to comical pacing, clever concepts, and fast quips. This one is a treat from the beginning until the very clever conclusion.
April 1, 2024
For a brief time after high school I lived in a cabin in the woods with another guy. Our neighbors who allowed us to build a cabin on their property had a nice personal library I would raid for reading material. One of the items was Donald Westlake's “The Hot Rock”, a funny caper novel about a hapless group of criminals who keep trying to steal a diamond and failing, over and over again, coming up with increasingly outlandish plans. I was giggling throughout, and occasionally burst out laughing. This greatly annoyed my roommate who couldn't get away without going outside and walking around the wilderness. I couldn't help it, though; I couldn't stop laughing.
Flash forward fifty years (yeah, I'm old). I've now read all of the Dortmunder novels, of which “The Hot Rock” was the first, and many of Westlake's other funny novels. However, this one got away from me. So I was delighted to find it reprinted by Hard Case Crime after being out of print for 30 years.
In this one, the first person narrator is a practical joker who became one because his last name is a dirty slang term (without an umlaut) and developed revenge skills against his tormentors. Unfortunately, one of his practical jokes gets some people hurt and he is sentenced to a stint in prison. He falls in with a group of prisoners who have the ability to go in and out of prison, and they plan a bank robbery because they have the perfect alibi – they're already in the slammer! Our hero is not really a crook, but can't get out of the robbery, so uses his practical joking skills to foil the robbery – again and again.
Westlake did work to a type of formula (the foiled crime plot), but he's so clever and funny that you don't mind, even when you see where he's going. I found myself giggling again, which is rare for me when reading.
This book was published in 1974 so there are now a lot of period items (like pay phones) in it, also the attitude toward prison is a little too breezy for comfort, but Westlake was working to a formula as I said and wants to keep it light. It's not like he doesn't know about the harshness of prison – the Attica prison riots happened just three years earlier. But he knows the kind of story he wants to write, and he's very good at it.
Flash forward fifty years (yeah, I'm old). I've now read all of the Dortmunder novels, of which “The Hot Rock” was the first, and many of Westlake's other funny novels. However, this one got away from me. So I was delighted to find it reprinted by Hard Case Crime after being out of print for 30 years.
In this one, the first person narrator is a practical joker who became one because his last name is a dirty slang term (without an umlaut) and developed revenge skills against his tormentors. Unfortunately, one of his practical jokes gets some people hurt and he is sentenced to a stint in prison. He falls in with a group of prisoners who have the ability to go in and out of prison, and they plan a bank robbery because they have the perfect alibi – they're already in the slammer! Our hero is not really a crook, but can't get out of the robbery, so uses his practical joking skills to foil the robbery – again and again.
Westlake did work to a type of formula (the foiled crime plot), but he's so clever and funny that you don't mind, even when you see where he's going. I found myself giggling again, which is rare for me when reading.
This book was published in 1974 so there are now a lot of period items (like pay phones) in it, also the attitude toward prison is a little too breezy for comfort, but Westlake was working to a formula as I said and wants to keep it light. It's not like he doesn't know about the harshness of prison – the Attica prison riots happened just three years earlier. But he knows the kind of story he wants to write, and he's very good at it.
May 25, 2019
This was recently reprinted by Hard Case Crime, which has been reprinting a lot of Westlake’s more obscure or out-of-print novels. In this one, Harry Künt is a compulsive practical joker who goes a step too far and ends up sentenced to two years in prison. By happenstance, he ends up as part of a group of criminals who have access to a secret tunnel that leads outside. But the object isn’t to escape – it’s to be able to go outside and live a normal life while they serve their time. Oh, and it’s also the perfect alibi for knocking over two banks in the town next to the prison.
It's a comedy. Much of the fun (and suspense) comes from the fact that Harry is not a career criminal and is terrified of being roped into an armed bank robbery, but he’s even more terrified of the tunnel gang bumping him off for knowing too much if he backs out. Meanwhile, the warden is on his case because some practical joker is planting notes around the prison with the same message – “Help I Am Being Held Prisoner” – and how many practical jokers could there be in the same prison?
The secret tunnel alone is a great premise, and Westlake has a lot of fun with it, especially as Harry tries to think up ways to prevent the robbery without the others catching on. Westlake keeps the pace moving along nicely for the most part. The ending is tied up a little too neatly, but overall it's an entertaining read. In fact, leave it to Westlake to write perhaps the most fun prison novel I’ve ever read.
It's a comedy. Much of the fun (and suspense) comes from the fact that Harry is not a career criminal and is terrified of being roped into an armed bank robbery, but he’s even more terrified of the tunnel gang bumping him off for knowing too much if he backs out. Meanwhile, the warden is on his case because some practical joker is planting notes around the prison with the same message – “Help I Am Being Held Prisoner” – and how many practical jokers could there be in the same prison?
The secret tunnel alone is a great premise, and Westlake has a lot of fun with it, especially as Harry tries to think up ways to prevent the robbery without the others catching on. Westlake keeps the pace moving along nicely for the most part. The ending is tied up a little too neatly, but overall it's an entertaining read. In fact, leave it to Westlake to write perhaps the most fun prison novel I’ve ever read.
December 16, 2022
Harold Albert Chester Kunt is at war with the world. In exchange for having to answer to the name "Harry Kunt" ("there's an umlaut" is his knee-jerk response, much the way another Westlake protagonist, John Dortmunder, responds to his nom-de-crime John Diddums with, "It's Welsh"), he is waging his war by perpetrating an endless series of practical jokes on anyone and everyone. One of these practical jokes, involving a naked female mannequin posed on a car on the shoulder of the Long Island Expressway, resulting in a 17 car pile-up and injuries to two United States congressmen, sends him to prison on a felony practical jokes conviction, serving a 5-15 year stretch.
While serving his stretch, he is thrown in amongst some hardened criminals who rope him into an audacious heist; will our hero be able to avoid becoming a criminal, or will his incarceration result into a life of crime?
Not vintage Westlake, but a fun read.
While serving his stretch, he is thrown in amongst some hardened criminals who rope him into an audacious heist; will our hero be able to avoid becoming a criminal, or will his incarceration result into a life of crime?
Not vintage Westlake, but a fun read.
November 15, 2022
"Help, I Am Being Held Prisoner" is a light and breezy crime novel by Donald Westlake. Premise: An incurable practical joker goes too far and accidentally causes a car accident with unintended consequences. He's convicted of a felony and sent to the big house. He tries to keep his nose clean and just do his time but ends up getting roped into a bank robbery.
Westlake does a great job of continually raising the stakes but keeping the tone light. There's a minor twist at the end but any reader who is half paying attention will see it coming. Definitely an enjoyable way to spend a few hours reading.
Westlake does a great job of continually raising the stakes but keeping the tone light. There's a minor twist at the end but any reader who is half paying attention will see it coming. Definitely an enjoyable way to spend a few hours reading.
July 18, 2018
Great, fun read from Donald Westlake from 1972. It stretches the limits of credulity—think Hogan's Heroes. Recommended to anyone who appreciates Westlake's humor.
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June 4, 2019pretty funny for a man
May 25, 2018
Review coming soon.
October 5, 2025
4.5 Any book by Donald Westlake, is a book well worth reading.
December 30, 2019
Excellent - hilarious!
July 9, 2014
Read it years ago and it was funny then, still is funny now...if anyone needs a good laugh, this is the book to read, dry humor, have to read it from that perspective. It's about a practical joker who gets sentenced to prison and finds himself involved w/fellow cellmates who have a way to come in and out of the prison at will thus providing them w/a iron clad alibi as to their whereabouts. The book is told from the first person narrative of the prankster who is compulsively obliged to continue w/his pranks while navigating the difficult terrain of being an imprisoned criminal who is really not into the criminal mindset. The book appeals to someone who likes self-deprecating humor, reads like a semi-Marlowe type of novel, that would be a rough approximation of the writing style. Very funny, I enjoyed it a lot.
September 18, 2020
Un giallo leggero, senza impegno, carino e scorrevole nella lettura, a tratti divertente. Meno movimentato de La danza degli Aztechi ma forse più "giallo", anche qui per un po' ho aspettato un omicidio che non arrivava, ma in compenso ho avuto una rapina. Può essere un buon modo per approcciarsi ai gialli.
January 8, 2018
A fun hard boiled crime story. An ingenious book, written originally in 1974 and being released again this year.
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