The Making of a Therapist

by Louis Cozolino

Lessons from the personal experience and reflections of a therapist. The difficulty and cost of training psychotherapists properly is well known. It is far easier to provide a series of classes while ignoring the more challenging personal components of training. Despite the fact that the therapist's self-insight, emotional maturity, and calm centeredness are critical for successful psychotherapy, rote knowledge and technical skills are the focus of most training programs. As a result, the therapist's personal growth is either marginalized or ignored. The Making of a Therapist counters this trend by offering graduate students and beginning therapists a personal account of this important inner journey.

Cozolino provides a unique look inside the mind and heart of an experienced therapist. Readers will find an exciting and privileged window into the experience of the therapist who, like themselves, is just starting out. In addition, The Making of a Therapist contains the practical advice, common-sense wisdom, and self-disclosure that practicing professionals have found to be the most helpful during their own training.The first part of the book, 'Getting Through Your First Sessions,' takes readers through the often-perilous days and weeks of conducting initial sessions with real clients. Cozolino addresses such basic concerns Do I need to be completely healthy myself before I can help others? What do I do if someone comes to me with an issue or problem I can't handle? What should I do if I have trouble listening to my clients? What if a client scares me?The second section of the book, 'Getting to Know Your Clients,' delves into the routine of therapy and the subsequent stages in which you continue to work with clients and help them. In this context, Cozolino presents the notion of the 'good enough' therapist, one who can surrender to his or her own imperfections while still guiding the therapeutic relationship to a positive outcome.

The final section, 'Getting to Know Yourself,' goes to the core of the therapist's relation to him- or herself, addressing such issues How to turn your weaknesses into strengths, and how to deal with the complicated issues of pathological caretaking, countertransference, and self-care.Both an excellent introduction to the field as well as a valuable refresher for the experienced clinician, The Making of a Therapist offers readers the tools and insight that make the journey of becoming a therapist a rich and rewarding experience.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Counselling, Social Work, Mental Health, Audiobook, Grad School

240 pages, Hardcover

First published July 17, 2004

Reviews

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! As I have stated before, I only give out 5 stars to those books that I feel have changed or affected me in some way, books that I enjoy recommending to family, friends, colleagues and/or clients. . . those books that will stay with me for many years to come. The Making of a Therapist is such a book! Upon completing the book this afternoon, I feel I want to write Louis Cozolino a personal letter of thanks.

I have been providing counseling services on and off throughout my career as a social worker. Social workers perform many tasks and counseling services are often part of the job in some capacity. Several months ago, after realizing that the counseling part of social work was what I enjoyed most about my job, I had made the decision to start the process in obtaining my LCSW.

I am currently working as a therapist and enjoy it immensely. I picked up this book because It had good reviews and I was searching for a more personal viewpoint on what it really means to be a therapist. Up until this point, all of the counseling books I have purchased are based on theories, techniques and new schools of thought in the area of psychotherapy. These books are great, don't get me wrong, but The Making of a Therapist provided me with something I was lacking in my education and independent study.

Theories are wonderful but they don't exactly explain how to be a therapist. The Making of a Therapist filled a void of unanswered questions for me. . ."Am I on the right track with this particular client, did I handle that situation correctly, what if this happens or that happens. . .what will I do, how do I respond to a client if I make a mistake, have I made mistakes?" Not only are all of these questions answered, but questions that I hadn't even thought to ask are answered!

I particularly enjoyed and grew from the chapter on counter-transference. Although I have studied this phenomenon and have tried to be self aware, I feel I now have a deeper understanding of counter-transference. The book not only demonstrates how to recognize and cope with it's occurrence, it goes a step further and explains how we can learn and grow from it, both personally and professionally.

At times while reading this book, I felt Dr. Cozolino was "my" own personal therapist and mentor at the same time. I felt he validated my feelings and past behaviors (yes, I was on the right track, yes, that was the correct way to respond, or, next time this happens, I'm going to try this!) He also led me down a path of self exploration that I had not even considered. . .

Here is one of my favorite paragraphs from the last chapter of the book, "I invite you to think of psychotherapy not simply as a profession but a calling, a lifestyle, and a vehicle of personal growth. Therapists are people looking for answers. Don't settle on only finding the answers for your clients; find your own along the way. Find your own truth, discover your own passions, and don't settle for less."

I loved how Dr. Cozolino used case examples from his own practice in working with clients, as well as his students' struggles and triumphs. I admired him for allowing the reader to see his vulnerabilities, his struggles, his failures, as well as his successes. Dr. Cozolino is like one of those favorite professors you had in school. . . that perfect combination of smart and wise with a whole lot of heart!

Whether you are a beginning therapist, a seasoned professional, or somewhere in the middle, this book is worth reading. :-)

[Yomna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another accurate name for this book could be "The Good-Enough Therapist." What made this book different than most of the books I read in graduate school is how it focuses on the inner world of the therapist rather than just theory and interventions. It was validating and reassuring to see some of the issues I struggle with as a therapist mentioned by the author as part of the normal experiences therapists go through, including the author himself. I find it humbling that he shared some of the inevitable mistakes that he did throughout his journey, and how he used them as learning opportunities. A part I know I will always remember and it made me laugh out loud was when Cozilono was sitting with a client one time, and then there was an earthquake, so Cozilono sat their quietly and asked the client "How does this make you feel?" :D
Quoting and slightly editing a sentence by the author; "It was painful for me to realize that I wasn't perfect but a relief to find out that I didn't have to be in order to be a good therapist."
Thank you, Cozolino.

[Lynette Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

As an aspiring graduate student in mental health counseling, I picked this book up and eagerly read it. It is packed with down-to-earth advice, that was helpful before even beginning my classes. I know that this book will be much-used into my career! I enjoyed the author's use of personal stories, and the questions he raises (do therapists get therapy, too?) caused some relief on my part. Some of his advice will be useful as I embark on helping others while still helping myself. His sections on "walking the talk" and "countertransference" were excellent. I would highly recommend this book!

[Quin Rich · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just okay. Some nice gems but frustratingly built around psychoanalysis, very little/bad discussion of social justice factors, and very stigmatizing language around abuse survivors and people diagnoses with BPD.

[tay · Rating 5 out of 5]

AMAZING!!

[Caroline · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good takeaways, however very psychodynamic focused

[Mariana Hdz · Rating 5 out of 5]

La verdad me encantooo. Siento que todos los que somos psicoterapeutas deberíamos leer este libro al menos una vez. Lo leí en Kindle, pero definitivamente lo voy a comprar en físico porque tiene muchísimas cosas valiosas que vale la pena releer, subrayar y volver a consultar con el tiempo.

[Maddie Frame · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much better than Yalom

[Erika · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. It's not about psychological concepts or psychotherapeutic techniques per se (although several are mentioned, of course), more like the way we psychotherapists experience those concepts and techniques in our clinic practice.
The way the book is written is easy to understand and very warm. The author cover a wide range of issues that every new professional on this area faces when dealing with patients. The anxiety, the difficulty to accept mistakes, the shame of not knowing all the answers, it's all there. The author makes very insightful connections between the problems we face as psychotherapists and our personal history. Reading this is really an inner journey. I wish I had read this before started my practice, it would have eased my mind a lot.

[Brennan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is strictly for mental health professionals - and more appropriately for therapists in training. I required it for my clinical practicum students and we all enjoyed discussing it each week. It was good and insightful, but it lacked the profound messages about human nature I have read in books like The Road Less Traveled and the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. It was interesting and enjoyable, but I probably won't assign it again.

[Anjali · Rating 5 out of 5]

Engaging, encouraging, & inspiring. Perfect for new therapists or mental health providers to help ease some of that beginner anxiety.

[Asa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This informative book by Cozolino is a great supplementary book to the textbooks and other literature provided as part of a graduate school counseling/clinical program. It provides "universal" tips while also expressing a deep appreciation for self-exploration.
Cozolino's language is jargon-free (and where there is jargon he either explains it or it is readable for the target audience of undergraduate/graduate students in psychology/counseling) and succinct with the information it provides. His principles serve as helpful bits of information to refer back to in future readings or just to review something that he said. He thoroughly explains his own perspective and strongly provides evidence for the importance of the road of self-discovery that people ought to travel in this field. And he does all of this while being human and humble about his own learning and education.
In the end, this book is a great read to add to your list if you're in graduate school for counseling/clinical psychology (even I could fit it into my schedule). I plan to re-read it as my future continues. The first important lesson that is provided is to look inward and think long and hard - and have difficult conversations with other people - in order to make better sense of yourself. The second important lesson is to know that you'll be doing this soul-searching for a lifetime.

[Baylee · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was full of great information. I don’t agree with 100% of everything listed in the book, but overall this was very beneficial to read. I especially like the human aspect of being a therapist and not just a body in the room. I would definitely recommend this to any new therapist.

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 estrelas O livro que gostava de ter lido no meu 4o ano de universidade.

[Riott · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5, good read for newbie therapists or seasoned T's in need of some helpful reminders and the validation that comes with "I knew that already!"

[emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

A remarkably insightful book while also remaining relatable and easy to read! This book should be read by everyone going into a helping field.

[Julia Schultz · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a new therapist, I can’t express how helpful this was to read - normalizing and putting words to the complex experience of the career as well as providing very helpful guidance.

[Tania · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cozolino nos recuerda que más allá de la corriente teórica que utilice en su práctica un terapeuta, es preciso que esté muy consciente de su mundo interior. Una agradable lectura que toca muchos de los puntos a tomar en cuenta durante la formación y el inicio de la práctica como terapeutas.

[Katie Halpin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was exactly what I was looking for as a graduate student doing therapy for the first time. It offered great practical advice, encouragement and experience. Highly recommend

[TJ · Rating 5 out of 5]

“The key to an enjoyable private practice is to marry rich” LOL! Being a psychotherapist is definitely not a profession to easily get money 💸

“I suspect my training experience would’ve been different if my mentors did share more of their personal experiences with me. I wish they would have. I know it’s difficult to imagine where they were from where I started. It would’ve helped if I knew they overcame obstacles were as large as I seem to be facing.” 🥺 - I really wish my professors did too, then perhaps I wouldn’t get too anxious whenever they assigned me tasks that I am not technically trained for yet. ☹️

The audiobook version is available on Scribd and I just kept nodding my head for six hours 🤣 This has numerous helpful tips for me as I often find myself too nervous about making assessments and therapy simulations in my classes. I wish this was a required reading because its contents are irrefutably validating 😭 [this would've saved me so much tears and relentless worries lol]

[Taylor McCarthy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was basically a hug to young therapists, and I LOVED it. Not only did it acknowledge the struggles and feelings of the therapist, but it also gave great feedback and solutions! Highly recommend!

[Fabian Mora · Rating 5 out of 5]

LO ESENCIAL ES INVISIBLE A LA FORMACIÓN ACADÉMICA.
Me ha gustado mucho este libro, en verdad. Se compone de tres partes: Cómo superar las primeras sesiones, Conozca a sus pacientes y Aprenda a conocerse.
El autor hace hincapié a lo largo de todo el texto que lo fundamental para ser un buen terapeuta es el conocimiento de sí mismo, antes de tratar de conocer y ayudar a otros. Sitúa el quehacer terapéutico en un justo lugar alejado de la perfección, ya que no se está exento de errores, pero lo importante es saberlos identificar y aprender de ellos.
Un concepto básico que prácticamente recorre todo el texto es el de contratransferencia, que se refiere a cómo reacciona el terapeuta cuando el paciente le transfiere sentimientos y actitudes que pertenecen al pasado o que originalmente iban hacia otra persona. El autor tiene realmente mucha razón cuando afirma que estos aspectos son muy descuidados en la formación en psicología, yo estudié la carrera y en nuestras prácticas nunca nos asesoraron sobre ello.
Hay muchas recomendaciones y sugerencias sobre lidiar con los problemas más comunes en el ejercicio profesional de la psicoterapia, por lo cual resulta muy útil. Personalmente me ha resonado mucho, ya que después de muchos años dedicado a a docencia tomé la decisión de ejercer la psicología clínica, y este libro me ha dado un empujón, la motivación última que necesitaba para pasar de un deseo a un nuevo proyecto profesional, ya través de este texto he aprendido muchas cosas que no conocí en la carrera, sobre todo en cuanto a la actitud hacia el ejercicio de la psicoterapia, todo lo que implica y lo que puede significar a nivel personal.

[Reba · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book to be absolutely brilliant for thoughtfully, caringly challenging me to explore the sticky areas of becoming a therapist/counsellor. I plan on returning to this over and again during my training and beyond. I believe this book to be absolutely invaluable to anyone embarking on a career as a therapist/counsellor -- if I were tutoring on a counselling program I would have this book as a core text. This is the first I've read by Cozolino and I'm excited to explore the rest of their body of work. If it's anywhere near as good as this book, I've got many treats in store!

[Cansu Varol · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tüm terapistler mutlaka okumalı. Alanımıza dair bu kadar dürüst kitaplar pek yok. Kottler'ın 'Terapist Olmak Üzerine' adlı kitabından devam edebilirsiniz. Tam bir 5 puan.

''Doğru şeyi yaptığından bütünüyle emin olan terapist tehlikeli bir terapisttir. Psikoterapistler kesin bilgilerle değil, eğitim ile desteklenen tahminlerle, içgörüyle ve sezgiyle hareket ederler. Tereddüdünüzü sahiplenin.''

[beauty_andbooks · Rating 3 out of 5]

What I liked:
✔️Relatable advice for anyone pursuing a counseling career or degree
✔️Felt like a friend talking to you
✔️Chapters were organized for quick access to reviewing essential information
✔️Super helpful to remember when I experienced my first few therapy sessions with clients

[Sarah Harrison · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this before starting my internship last year, and again this week (the week I start my career). Full of great reminders & helpful for getting back into the “therapy head-space.”

[C · Rating 4 out of 5]

Louis Cozolino's The Making of a Therapist provides a refreshing and practical view of therapy, drawing attention to the importance of the therapist's humanity and inner feelings in delivering effective care. In contrast to many clinical texts which concentrate mainly on theory and interventions, this book explores the frequently unacknowledged difficulties and vulnerabilities that are a natural part of the therapist's role.

Cozolino, from a psychodynamic viewpoint, concentrates on the importance of self-awareness, especially in how individual experiences and unresolved issues can effect the therapeutic relationship. It is convincingly argued that acknowledging, as well as dealing with, these personal dynamics, rather than striving for an unattainable ideal of neutrality, allows for greater authenticity coupled with deeper connection with clients. Important understandings into the complications of the therapeutic dyad are provided by the book's thorough exploration of transference and countertransference, coupled with its detailed examination of the concept of resistance.

One of the main strengths of the book is how accessible and practical it is. Cozolino powerfully depicts his points with a large number of case examples, drawn from his own wide-ranging experiences and those of his many supervisees and clients. These real-world scenarios provide strikingly relatable examples of therapeutic impasses as well as breakthroughs. This powerfully shows how deep self-awareness along with vulnerability can importantly ease growth plus change for both the therapist in addition to the client. The author's optimistic belief in the possibility of change, even in situations that appear intractable, is present throughout the narrative, offering encouragement to aspiring therapists as well as those who are seasoned.

Although the psychodynamic approach might not appeal to everyone, the book draws attention to the therapist's inner experience and the importance of self-reflection, which goes beyond any specific theory. Cozolino's deeply perceptive and extraordinarily reassuring adaptation of Winnicott's "good enough mother" to the therapeutic context, consequent in the concept of the "good enough therapist," is a particularly meaningful contribution. It deeply normalises the large hardships and natural imperfections of being a therapist, offering a deeply compassionate and strikingly realistic perspective on the exacting demands of the profession.

Overall, The Making of a Therapist is an important addition to the field that provides a genuine and mindful look into the adventure of a therapist. Its deep emphasis on self-awareness, large vulnerability, along with the intensely human element of therapy makes it a highly worthwhile read for both those entering the profession as well as those seeking to importantly deepen their comprehension of the therapeutic process. It was an outstandingly positive, four out of five star experience.

[Virginia · Rating 4 out of 5]

The best "intro to becoming a therapist" book that I've read. Helpful, grounded in theory without being overly clinical and dry, the personality of the author isn't over-bearing and there aren't too many attempts try and be funny. A solid, grounded book that gave many opportunities for self-reflection and helpful tips for things that you need to figure out in the beginning stages of your career. I loved the focus on increasing self-awareness, and the idea of "shuttling" up and down between your thoughts and emotions, between the client's experience and your experience; between the inner and outer world.

"Despite all of the difficulties, risks, and challenges, being a therapist can be incredibly rich and meaningful. Although one of the most difficult professions to navigate intellectually and emotionally, it offers us the opportunity to help others while simultaneously discovering ourselves, stretching us to our full human potential." p. 190

One thing I love about this vocation is its ability to make use of everything. Nothing is wasted, and the more we grow and learn about ourselves, the more helpful and available we will be to our clients. It reminds me of St. Augustine's prayer for self-awareness: "Grant, Lord, that I may know myself that I may know thee." Perhaps the therapist's prayer for self-awareness goes a little like this: "Grant, Lord, that I may know myself that I may know my clients. And in knowing my clients and myself, grant also that I may know thee."

[Cassie Robertson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Being a Therapist Is Not What You Think

I am training to be a therapist in a graduate program. I’m just beginning my journey in learning essential clinical skills and reading this book was a requirement for a class. I wish I had read this book sooner! Even though I’ve been in my own personal therapy for years, I realized when reading this book that I had a lot of misconceptions about what it means to be a therapist. It highlighted many issues I’ve been working through in therapy, but also showed me that my personal journey is growth is not over. It’s just beginning. Louis Corzolino’s vulnerability and honest encouraged me to be honest with myself about my struggles and limitations, as well as seeking to be open about these with my therapist, supervisor, and supportive peers. After 30 years of life, I’m still learning that it’s ok not to be perfect. No one needs a perfect therapist. Just one who is also open to learning from their mistakes and open to feedback from others. And even though I can’t be a perfect therapist, I can be good enough to help clients. And though being a therapist will be more challenging than I’m expecting, it can be a fulfilling career to see glimpses of fulfillment and change in clients. Thank you for writing this book, Mr. (Dr.?) Corzolino!

[Ray · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5/5

This book seeks to validate new therapists as they navigate pitfalls, such as missing payments or personal slights. As the author describes common hiccups using his experiences, I grew to appreciate the advice and to dislike him. For example, do I think it's a good idea to check in with yourself to make sure your caseload is manageable? Absolutely. Would I warn practitioners from accepting more than one client with BPD because one individual finds these cases draining? ...You're joking, right?

This case of 'love the idea, hate the execution' was my overall experience with The Making of a Therapist; I highlighted advice while scribbling disagreements with his logic in the margins. I imagine I'll reference this text a lot in the future, especially when it comes to some of the 'itty bitty less than pretty' minutiae of care work, such as formatting case notes. I also imagine that with each coming year, I'll find more reasons to disagree with the author, such as the language he used when describing a client who believed she was pregnant with kittens while he speculated about her biological clock.

If you're looking for an accessible non-fiction guide to your internal world as you begin your practice as a therapist, then give this one a go--just don't be too shocked at some of the author's logic and lingo.