Talking Cock

by Richard Herring

It has been known by many different names to many different Knob, dick, schmuck, tool, percy, John Thomas, the bald headed mouse. It inspires lust, fear, awe and laughter. And yet, it is an object of shame and when engorged, indecency. It can be a pound of flesh or an ounce of wrinkles. It can be used to express both love and hate. It can create life. It can condemn us to death. And it can do wees as well. How can one little flap of sponge and sinew be all these things You will be surprised how little you know about the skin chimney, because although men may constantly brag and exaggerate about their little chap, they rarely talk about their feelings for it. At last, Richard Herring, reveals the truth about man and his manhood in the 21st Century.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Comedy, Science

296 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2003

Reviews

[Maureen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Despite its length, I gobbled this down in just one day.

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a man, I have often questioned the nature of many of the interactions I have had with others regarding my penis and all of the encompassing issues. This book with its witty and ironical humor helped me examine myself, the world and what it means to be a man. This was the inspiration behind my development of Dick Talk, a program following in the footsteps and necessity of the Vagina Monologues.

[Michael Kerjman · Rating 4 out of 5]

A journalist cum professional comediante substantiates own research on penis-related attitudes of gender-diverse poll respondents with by-field-experts-produced books and web-publications.
Not pretending on a science craft's recognition, sometimes grammatically innovative book is steadily humorous and easy-reading, peppered with author's assertions in his heterosexuality.
At the end of a pipe, everyone might compare own views on topics highlighted self-willingly.

[Jonny Brick · Rating 4 out of 5]

A science book, sociology experiment and fun manual to the appendage. Still stands up after 15 years and pointed towards the author's comedy today, with its focus on masculinity and the surreal. Not many books by comedians have bibliographies, either, which puts Herring in the same league as Newman and Baddiel, who also hide their brains behind humour.

[Eli]

The author calls it a male version of The Vagina Monologues, but it's more of a hilarious mish-mash of statistics, factoids, and anecdotes than a dramatization of personal stories. Not that that's a bad thing, of course.

[Twan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Giant spunky donger

[Stuart · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quite interesting

[Nick Grey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finding the balance between informative and hilarious, clearly a lot of work has gone into this project, as typified by the sheer volume of inventive phallic euphemisms deployed throughout 🍆

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

The cover instantly drew me to this book. It reminded me that for my GCSE English coursework I had written about ancient monuments, including the Cerne Abbas giant, which we’d visited on a school trip (the minibus may as well have read synchronised snickering team).
I find Richard Herring funny and a bit childish (in a good way, basically in the same way I am) so thought I’d give this book a go. It was too big to enjoy in just one evening, so I spread it over three. Herring has done his research so the book is not just knob gags. A lot of what he discusses in the book is based on a questionnaire that over five thousand men and two thousand women completed. I wonder if he ever thought of doing a PhD based on this data?
This research means that as well as being about his personal part it has much to say about man’s current thoughts on his trouser truncheon and women’s thoughts too. The penis in history is not neglected either. This is the best book about cocks I’ve ever read.

[Bec · Rating 5 out of 5]

The male response to the vagina monologues (and more funny too). He set up a wesite and got random people to fill in a questionnaire about penises and sex. I went to Nottingham Uni to watch Rich on the Talking Cock Tour. It was brillo from what I can remember, the codpiece he wore has stuck in my mind for some reason. It is a hilarious book but with a smattering of academia, since he's a history grad from Oxbridge whaddya expect. Anyway i got my copy signed by the man himself I think it said some thing like "lots about circumcision and other nice things." Check out the website if it's still there

From the book, what do you do for self gratification? Spoon jelly into a toilet roll tube and then use it . Well I laughed anyway and there is much worse in the book. Buy it!

[Neil Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Richard Herring is probably my favourite English comedian, with a taste for the ludicrous and profane that I just adore. This humourous investigation of everything cock related is also informative and has serious points you wouldn't expect to find in what is ostensibly a comedic book. I was most interested to discover the reason most American men are circumcised - the Surgeon General about a century ago decided that doing this as a matter of course would discourage boys from masturbating because it wouldn't be as enjoyable. Nice man...

Highly recommended

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Flippin hilarious, highly amusing and VERY VERY much for a mature audience (18+ and not the least bit modest).
I laughed my butt off. I learned a few things about male anatomy but mostly I read this book for the humor. I had tears rolling sometimes, even my husband found it amusing.
I very much recommend Talking Cock to anyone who needs a good laugh, is mature enough to read about the male anatomy and their obsession with it. I may even go as far as pushing the age range to 21+. Very amusing ; )

[Richard · Rating 4 out of 5]

So glad that this book has been reprinted, even if only in the US. The book is fascinating, both funny and interesting, although it took me longer to read because for some reason I didn't want to take it into work and read in my lunch hour - I didn't want to have to explain. There's probably a chapter in the book about that!

Wish I'd seen the stage version, although Herring has talked about performing it once again to record a DVD. I hope that he does.

[Claire Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book worryingly interesting. History, biology, sociology and psychology. Transcends the knob gag (but doesn't leave them out) and gives us an incredibly revealing insight into what men REALLY think about their bits.

Also, amazing euphemisms. 'Womb broom' and 'honourable member for Fuckinghamshire' are my personal favourites ;-)

[Charles · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I ran across this book, God help me, it sounded interesting and it is. No great revelations or laugh-out-loud comedy, but entertaining and informative nonetheless. Herring's message about gender roles and expectations and stereotyping (basically, that it's all a lot of overblown bullshit) is refreshing and much needed. I'm glad he came out and said it.

[Coxy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good on him, a funny book and also quite interesting.

I want to clear my name and say that I picked it up from the shelf downstairs in MP. I didn't go to Waterstones looking for books on penises or anything. Promise.

[James · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious! And informative too.

[Andrew Oakes · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the funniest book I read in ages and it does indeed read like a male version of the Vagina Monologues (Minge Whinge). However, it's surprisingly informative.

[Justine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious and informative!