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Serving with Grace: Lay Leadership as a Spiritual Practice
Discover how to experience congregational work as an integrated element in a fully rounded spiritual life. Written for both those in the more typically recognized ''leadership roles''-such as board members and committee chairs-as well as for those who lead while serving on a committee, teaching in religious education or helping to pull together the Holiday Fair. Makes a useful addition to a congregation's leadership development programs.
112 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2010
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
July 4, 2010
Rev. Wikstrom offers some reflective space and wisdom for lay leaders in congregations in his third book. Slim enough to be a congregational leadership study course in groups or individually, it can also act as a collected condensed reflection guide for a Board pausing to reflect on how congregational leadership is leading spiritually.
I particularly like Wikstrom's gentle reminders that practice takes time. He breaks down a number of practices into simple questions and steps so that leaders can approach something that might seem overwhelming and work through that approach without fear.
Recommended for congregational leaders and for those who ponder the ways of congregational leaders.
I particularly like Wikstrom's gentle reminders that practice takes time. He breaks down a number of practices into simple questions and steps so that leaders can approach something that might seem overwhelming and work through that approach without fear.
Recommended for congregational leaders and for those who ponder the ways of congregational leaders.
May 3, 2020
In this 85-page book, Rev. Erik Walker Wikstrom argues that by shifting one's mindset, lay leaders in congregations can view what many see as necessary (even mundane) service on church committees as spiritual practice instead. That is, as a way toward personal growth and enrichment.
As he sees it, all committee work is an opportunity to examine and recognize one's own strengths and weaknesses, appreciate the strengths of others, show gentle compassion for the weaknesses of others, and grow in your own ability to put religious community values to work. Like love, patience, and understanding. Along with an appreciation for the fact that, when evaluated together, it's by combining very different abilities and foibles that the best kind of work results. Because each person is playing to their strengths and allowing others to do the work they themselves are not good at. It's a lovely approach.
However, to me, it feels like success would require "buy-in" from everyone. Alternatively, the single person approaching committee work this way will require super-human commitment and patience -- laboring alongside people who still want to do work they may not be good at, who may not share an equal level of commitment to the work, or whose primary goal is NOT this cooperative model of work. So, (again to me) the practical application of what Wikstrom suggests seems extremely difficult to ever attain.
In his defense, Wikstrom likely feels that even a single person adopting this approach and working toward these goals is enough to advance that person's spiritual growth -- regardless of what others do. But I don't see what he is describing as something I personally would be able to maintain. (So, I guess that means I already know a lot about my own limitations.)
As he sees it, all committee work is an opportunity to examine and recognize one's own strengths and weaknesses, appreciate the strengths of others, show gentle compassion for the weaknesses of others, and grow in your own ability to put religious community values to work. Like love, patience, and understanding. Along with an appreciation for the fact that, when evaluated together, it's by combining very different abilities and foibles that the best kind of work results. Because each person is playing to their strengths and allowing others to do the work they themselves are not good at. It's a lovely approach.
However, to me, it feels like success would require "buy-in" from everyone. Alternatively, the single person approaching committee work this way will require super-human commitment and patience -- laboring alongside people who still want to do work they may not be good at, who may not share an equal level of commitment to the work, or whose primary goal is NOT this cooperative model of work. So, (again to me) the practical application of what Wikstrom suggests seems extremely difficult to ever attain.
In his defense, Wikstrom likely feels that even a single person adopting this approach and working toward these goals is enough to advance that person's spiritual growth -- regardless of what others do. But I don't see what he is describing as something I personally would be able to maintain. (So, I guess that means I already know a lot about my own limitations.)
March 2, 2011
Erik is a good friend of mine, but don't let that color your opinion of him.
Serving with Grace is a loving expression of a particular kind of faith in humanity, and in the universe, that I wish were more common among those of us who do church work. Erik believes, and helps me to believe, that:
1. The church exists to help each individual grow into wholeness.
2. The church is better because of every individual present.
3. The world is better because of the church.
In the book, Erik offers a vision of congregations (and their Boards and committees) living with the confidence to hold “no” as sacred as “yes,” to accept (and offer) “we don’t know” as the right answer, and to uplift their Mission even above The Way Things Have Always Been Done. The heart of the book, to me, is this jewel:
Serving with Grace is one wise minister’s exhilaratingly reckless view of the way churches can work, and the world will be a better place if it catches on.
Serving with Grace is a loving expression of a particular kind of faith in humanity, and in the universe, that I wish were more common among those of us who do church work. Erik believes, and helps me to believe, that:
1. The church exists to help each individual grow into wholeness.
2. The church is better because of every individual present.
3. The world is better because of the church.
In the book, Erik offers a vision of congregations (and their Boards and committees) living with the confidence to hold “no” as sacred as “yes,” to accept (and offer) “we don’t know” as the right answer, and to uplift their Mission even above The Way Things Have Always Been Done. The heart of the book, to me, is this jewel:
As Howard Thurman once said, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and then do that thing. Because what the world needs is people who are alive.” The same goes for our congregations.
Serving with Grace is one wise minister’s exhilaratingly reckless view of the way churches can work, and the world will be a better place if it catches on.
August 30, 2017
This book had a good message but could have gotten its point across in less than half its length.
February 28, 2012
This is a specialized book for those of you who volunteer at your religious institutions. Read it. Really. It's only 86 pages and Erik Wikstrom is a genius. He describes all the problems of trying to serve in a religious institution--differences of opinion, projects that never get done, conversations that are dead ends.
He tries to make all the frustration part of the process--the process...how we are with each other...is more important than the goal. In fact, if we keep that in mind, we may achieve the goal.
My favorite concept is that any idea is a good idea for 10 minutes. You look at it, you see if there's any usefulness to it, and then you modify it, accept it or reject it. This is so much more sensible than "there are no bad ideas." Because frankly, there are plenty of bad ideas and I've spent too many hours trying to be polite about them.
Read it...it's little. You'll want to read it again.
He tries to make all the frustration part of the process--the process...how we are with each other...is more important than the goal. In fact, if we keep that in mind, we may achieve the goal.
My favorite concept is that any idea is a good idea for 10 minutes. You look at it, you see if there's any usefulness to it, and then you modify it, accept it or reject it. This is so much more sensible than "there are no bad ideas." Because frankly, there are plenty of bad ideas and I've spent too many hours trying to be polite about them.
Read it...it's little. You'll want to read it again.
September 17, 2014
A quick read with some great insights into how we can use our meetings and other church activities as ways to deepen the spiritual aspect of church. Might also be called "How to create church meetings so people don't dread them."
June 22, 2014
Good primer on how to conduct oneself when serving in a leadership role in a church and why.
April 21, 2018
At only 112 pages, this was a short but pithy read. I lead a lot of things, and I do think about leadership as a space where I can exercise my spiritual values so I can lead well and meaningfully. In doing so? Hopefully help others lead well themselves or at least enjoy working together in the time we shared.
Chapter headings are
The Spirituality of Service
Self-Discovery
No Is as Sacred as Yes
Mindful Meetings
I Put My Hand in Yours
Bringing it All Together
I could see this being used with staff, at a Board of Trustees retreat, in an Adult RE class, or even with older youth who are starting to lead groups themselves. It would be a good tool for a Leadership Development committee.
You don't have to be a Unitarian Universalist or even affiliated with a house of worship to enjoy the book. It's about volunteering and volunteer leading and how this can feed your spirit.
The themes of only volunteering to do things that bring you joy and make you come alive, to keep your highest values in mind when making decisions and not just "going down the list" of committee tasks to hurry up and get them over with, to let others have a voice at the table, and more are very relatable. Practicing those kinds of things makes for better volunteer experiences but better relationship too. Other things it brings up like "white cultural norms" may surprise some people.
Mostly it asks for a change in mindset -- to not look at Sunday Worship as "church" where you get inspired and do your spiritual practices and then all the rest as "church work" were you do busy stuff but not really engage on a spiritual level. It asks you to start viewing all of the different ways you participate in church life as opportunities to engage your spiritual values and live them out.
Chapter headings are
The Spirituality of Service
Self-Discovery
No Is as Sacred as Yes
Mindful Meetings
I Put My Hand in Yours
Bringing it All Together
I could see this being used with staff, at a Board of Trustees retreat, in an Adult RE class, or even with older youth who are starting to lead groups themselves. It would be a good tool for a Leadership Development committee.
You don't have to be a Unitarian Universalist or even affiliated with a house of worship to enjoy the book. It's about volunteering and volunteer leading and how this can feed your spirit.
The themes of only volunteering to do things that bring you joy and make you come alive, to keep your highest values in mind when making decisions and not just "going down the list" of committee tasks to hurry up and get them over with, to let others have a voice at the table, and more are very relatable. Practicing those kinds of things makes for better volunteer experiences but better relationship too. Other things it brings up like "white cultural norms" may surprise some people.
Mostly it asks for a change in mindset -- to not look at Sunday Worship as "church" where you get inspired and do your spiritual practices and then all the rest as "church work" were you do busy stuff but not really engage on a spiritual level. It asks you to start viewing all of the different ways you participate in church life as opportunities to engage your spiritual values and live them out.
October 9, 2017
I almost gave this one star because I really struggled to get through it. However it has valuable messages and points. It would have been better as a MUCH shorter article.
My thoughts:
It was well more than twice as long as it needed to be. I finally started carefully reading the first sentence of paragraphs and quickly skimming the rest and slowing down for interesting points. If I were not a speed reader, this would have been much more difficult to do. Given that the book is already small and short, that is saying something.
I found the style to be rather lecture like, sometimes bordering on condescending.
Although I certainly like quotes and examples in general, in this book the inclusion of quotes and examples from history and religions was excessive. One does not need 3 or 4 quotes or examples per point or idea. It really weighs the whole thing down.
As much as I appreciate being respectful of a multitude of spiritual and religious practices, the author relied way to heavily on referencing spiritual practices to make points, instead of simply making a point, backing it up, and moving on.
Seriously, over five pages were spent telling the reader to practice "holding their tongue" and not feeling like they have to say everything that occurs to them.
I would prefer to see this condensed into a single far more concise article or piece within a larger collection on lay leadership, because there ARE good ideas, but the rambling is difficult to struggle through.
My thoughts:
It was well more than twice as long as it needed to be. I finally started carefully reading the first sentence of paragraphs and quickly skimming the rest and slowing down for interesting points. If I were not a speed reader, this would have been much more difficult to do. Given that the book is already small and short, that is saying something.
I found the style to be rather lecture like, sometimes bordering on condescending.
Although I certainly like quotes and examples in general, in this book the inclusion of quotes and examples from history and religions was excessive. One does not need 3 or 4 quotes or examples per point or idea. It really weighs the whole thing down.
As much as I appreciate being respectful of a multitude of spiritual and religious practices, the author relied way to heavily on referencing spiritual practices to make points, instead of simply making a point, backing it up, and moving on.
Seriously, over five pages were spent telling the reader to practice "holding their tongue" and not feeling like they have to say everything that occurs to them.
I would prefer to see this condensed into a single far more concise article or piece within a larger collection on lay leadership, because there ARE good ideas, but the rambling is difficult to struggle through.
February 6, 2026
This is very short book with a lot of good information and suggestions except where he suggests checking in at each meeting. One committee I was in did this but it took a half hour to 45 minutes to get through 6 people checking in. When I became the leader of that group I said check in and visiting would be done at the end of the meeting. It worked fine. We got our business done and those who wanted to visit did so afterwards.
May 13, 2020
If you are going to read only one book on lay ministry or congregational volunteering, this is the book I would recommend. It is short and the ideas are easy to implement.
May 20, 2020
helpful, could be better organized
October 7, 2022
This slim volume contains much spiritual wisdom. I will probably keep rereading it during the remainder of my Board of Trustees service, although I won't keep counting it in the reading challenge.
March 28, 2025
It was a short but sweet book that had a lot of good information not just for service but for life too.
October 1, 2015
A gift from my minister, I wish I had read this several years ago. The premise of the book is that service and leadership should not be a chore but a spiritual practice with the purpose of creating beloved community. Lots of good ideas and advice packed into a small book, and would be helpful for anyone who leads or volunteers in any community.
January 5, 2016
I read this in November/December 2015 but didn't realize I was on the last page and could've finished it a few weeks ago; it's been languishing in my bag for a while now. This was a quick, easy, gentle, and helpful read for anyone considering taking on a leadership role of any sort in their worship community, no matter what faith they practice.
October 13, 2014
Fast read; some good ideas if your Board is willing to pursue them.
August 4, 2016
Excellent!
Inspiring and thorough (but short) book on approaching Lay Leadership in a church setting. I would suggest this book to all lay leaders!
Inspiring and thorough (but short) book on approaching Lay Leadership in a church setting. I would suggest this book to all lay leaders!
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews