אשת חיל

by Lihi Lapid, ליהיא לפיד

This book begins where most love stories leave off: at the beginning of real life. The transition from being a young couple in love to a couple of parents is laden with higher expectations than ever before in history, especially for women. Today s woman expects to be the perfect wife, mother, career woman, self-actualized human being, and homemaker, all while remaining a size six. The idyllic picture that hangs on the wall of our hopes and dreams can t help but be marred by the ugly scratches of reality, and in this pressure-cooker environment, we re all too familiar with the resulting divorce statistics.
Woman of Valor follows the lives of two women in their first years of motherhood. One is a fictional character trying to live the happily-ever-after life we all imagined for ourselves. The second woman is the author herself, relating her real life story. It s a story of metamorphosis, from independent working woman to mother, helpless in the face of the discovery that there s something wrong with her small daughter something very seriously wrong. Interspersed are actual letters from readers of Lapid s popular newspaper column about women s lives, sharing their experiences of juggling their many roles. In trenchant, thoughtful, and often laugh-out-loud funny prose, Lihi Lapid tells a true-life story of women and men struggling to live up to modern pressures: a story about shattered dreams, and about finding the strength to gather up the pieces and to learn to smile again.

221 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2008

Reviews

[Esther Schwartz-ivgy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has recently been published in English in Israel and will be published in the USA November 1.
It is a wonderful portrayal of the struggles of marriage and motherhood, most significantly because it does not show just one story line and view. There is the idealized life of "the Princess" there is the autobiography of the Author and there are letters written to the author on her weekly column in an Israeli newspaper.
It has taken tremendous courage for Lihi Lapid to be so emotionally honest, yet the truthfulness of her story is precisely what makes this such a compelling and enjoyable read.
Yes, mothers and wives will appreciate it best.
Singles should read it to try to understand and learn something to help steer themselves on a better path.
Men - if you can read between the lines and "hear" what women want and what these women will admit to, you too can gain alot from this book!

[Lorene Schwaeber-issan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am very passionate about this book, because, in it, I saw so many critical elements of marriage that each one of us forgets along the way. Lihi Lapid reminds us throughout this book what the expectations of marriage are, how they get swept aside along the way and how we need to recalculate our route in order to find our way back to the kind of relationship we all wanted from the beginning. There is sage advice in this book, and it should be required reading for those contemplating marriage, for those already married and especially for those struggling in a marriage. The minute I finished reading it, I ran out, bought 4 copies for friends and will not hesitate to buy more. It's the cheapest price you can pay for the valuable viewpoints which restored what seemed to be an irretrievable breakdown of a marriage. I cannot recommend this book enough! It's truly a game changer in the complex world of relationships.

[Elinor · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is rare to find books that are as honestly blunt, real, and emotional as "Woman of Valor". Lihi Lapid has found a way to intertwine a mix of personal life, fiction, letters, with a note of not so fairy tale that we all dream of till life clashes into our faces. It's true none of us want to admit that once the prince and the princess take off on their horse, everyday life follows, and at every step of the way, dreams get the wake up call of reality.
And the truth is, we would all be ok with it, if only someone had told us how it was going to be. Lihi does tell it as it is, as it was for her growing a family and the expectations, hopes she, and many other of her readers, had.
A woman of valor is about life, about real life, a life that every mother and mother to be can relate to, with its beauty, and it's not so beautiful moments, and that is what makes this book so beautiful.

[Erin Henry · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautiful story or memoir I'm not really sure from an Israeli author. She describes so well the problems and stresses that come on a marriage with children. And she portrays the struggles women go through to balance everything and get it all right. I wish both genders would read the book as I think it offered insights on both sides.

[Shaul Melech Fishman · Rating 4 out of 5]

אהבתי לקרוא, עורר עניין וחיבור רגשי. זה ספר על אימהות, נשים אך עם מבט חומל גם לגברים. מעלה הרבה תמונות ומצבים מחיי נשואים, אמהות, מסקרן ומלמד. כתוב בצורה יחסית פשוטה , זורמת אולי קצת בסגנון עיתונאי אך מעניין ומעשיר.

[Jennifer Collins · Rating 1 out of 5]

First of all, this isn't a novel, despite what the book jacket and reviewers might call it. The book's own jacket admits that the book that the book is the story of two women, one of them an author, which makes it at least partially a memoir. But, the other woman isn't a character so much as a half-drawn shadow of a character, and there are strong suggestions within the author's memoir portion that suggest that this other character is in fact drawn from one of her friends and simply made anonymous. So, call the book what you will, but understand that it is not a novel. Including portions of letters to the author, it is at most something of a hybrid, half memoir and half self-help.

However, genre aside, this particular reader found the book insufferable, drenched in self-pity and self-importance. The title is "Woman of Valor", and the truth is that the entire book seems to have no point other than to celebrate how courageous the author believes herself to be. Now, I'm not saying that motherhood doesn't take courage and talent, at least if one is to succeed. I am saying that a lot of women succeed at being wonderful mothers, and that this particular mother's journey isn't anything spectacular. Based on her words, it appears that this is part of her point--she's not spectacular when set beside many other mothers, and all successful mothers are courageous and worth celebrating. Okay, fine. But then, I have to ask: why should I read this book, full of clichés and self-pity as it is, instead of just helping out or loving the mothers around me? Simply, there's no answer. If you agree that being a mother takes a lot of work, and requires sacrifice, there is absolutely no reason for you to read this book unless you simply want to know that others feel the same way, and have doubts on that front.

Obviously, you can tell from this review that I was frustrated, and it's true. The author's self-defeated tone throughout the book makes no argument more strongly than that of believing there's no such thing as a happy ending, no such thing as a happy family, no such thing as a couple that can simply stay in love in the face of adversity. Sure, in the last few pages, she attempts to trump this attitude with a few pages of anecdote that claim she's overcome her self-defeated doubt and pessimism...but that's a light and weak finish to a two hundred page work drenched in self-pity and self-importance.

Simply, I wouldn't recommend this work to anyone, and I'm sorry to have read it. I never would have made it past the first twenty pages if I weren't someone who has a difficult time putting a book down unfinished. And, simply, I kept on thinking that there had to be some pay-off, some reason for the work to be celebrated... I was wrong.

[Daniel Keren · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must read for men. We men are constantly complaining about how women are impossible to understand. Well here it is! A glimpse into the female mind as she struggles through different phases of everyday life, as well as through some overwhelming challenges! Not a dull moment in this book, and so much priceless wisdom and insight! Woman of Valor
Lihi Lapid

[Michael Milgrom · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book because the author came here to appear as part of our local Jewish book festival. I had read one her books (Zarot) and really liked it. The appearance was to promote an updated English translation of this book which was released in October. The updated translation, which I have read part of, omits the passages that are letters to the author (I assume, the letters were responses to her newspaper columns, though the book doesn't say) and makes a few other changes. It also omits the somewhat mysterious chapter titles in the Hebrew original. (The titles were all quotations from the Tanach about women. Sometimes I couldn't figure out what the connection to the chapter was. I think the decision to omit them in the updated translation was a good one.) I find myself agreeing both the Goodreads reviewers who gave it five stars and with the reviewer who gave it one star. It's both highly educational about the emotional life of at least some mothers and somewhat repellant in its constant high pitched emotional intensity. In person, the author is a lot like her character in this book, but not as stridently emotional as the character. I always enjoy appearances by authors was glad to be at this one.

[Libby Sharf · Rating 2 out of 5]

למרות שהזדהיתי מאוד עם דמות הנסיכה בספר, ממש אחד לאחד עם דברים שקרו לי ועברו עלי, הספר כתוב בשפה דלה ויבשה ובלי רגש, עם חזרות של פעמיים ושלוש על אותו דבר באותה פסקה.
לא הצלחתי להמשיך לקרא אחרי חצי ספר בערך.

[Mike · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly interesting narrative. A woman attempting to find her way, with children (one is special needs), job, and a husband, who is not there.

I enjoyed reading it in the Hebrew…..

[Idit Govberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm absolutely impressed of how this novel resonates with every woman's 💜❤️

[K C · Rating 3 out of 5]

Officially a novel, but really a memoir of trying to do it all, particularly with a special needs child. Poingantly written.

[Elinor]

It is rare to find books that are as honestly blunt, real, and emotional as "Woman of Valor". Lihi Lapid has found a way to intertwine a mix of personal life, fiction, letters, with a note of not so fairy tale that we all dream of till life clashes into our faces. It's true none of us want to admit that once the prince and the princess take off on their horse, everyday life follows, and at every step of the way, dreams get the wake up call of reality.
And the truth is, we would all be ok with it, if only someone had told us how it was going to be. Lihi does tell it as it is, as it was for her growing a family and the expectations, hopes she, and many other of her readers, had.
A woman of valor is about life, about real life, a life that every mother and mother to be can relate to, with its beauty, and it's not so beautiful moments, and that is what makes this book so beautiful.

[Ronfeld · Rating 4 out of 5]

Woman of valour by Lihi Lapid 2015 200pg
The travails of motherhood
This is an excellent novel that every couple ready for children should read. It consists of 2 stories one the writers autobiography that starts after the romance of marriage and of a young working wife who becomes a housewife, but wants to get out of the home. The other is of different mothers writing in and describing their problems.
A professionally trained women might want to have a family but she also wants her career and sometime compromises don't come easily. When she realises she has fallen into a rut examines her situation, forms a new resolution understands her capabilities. Not every problem can she resolve but is able to get her marriage and life back together.
This well written book is might explain things that are not in a child rearing manual.

[Jordana Schmier]

This is the story of every married woman with children and without a staff of hired help to make her life perfect. I found the multiple story lines a bit difficult at first but then could feel their stories. Speaks to the value of recognizing that there are no princes and princesses (well, with the exception of real royalty) and even for them, the stories don't always end with a "happily ever after."

[Danna · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book tells the story of a religious Jewish woman at her womanhood and motherhood, throught the meeting with her future husband, the wedding, the marriage the follow and giving birth to a baby.
It was very simple and light, kind and good descriptions, but nothing more. I guess mothers would love the book far better than I did.

[Tammy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this book was really good. I am a mother of a 3yr old autistic girl and I could truly relate to all of the feelings and questions that a mother feels in general. It honestly made me feel better to know that I am not the only mother in the world to feel these same things.

[Sim Plicity · Rating 4 out of 5]

I cried a lot while reading this honest(at times brutally so) and emotional account of a woman's personal journey of marriage and motherhood. I could relate to so much of what the author shared and was deeply moved and encouraged. Intense and captivating read!

[Frankie Cronin · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a very strange book with a very simplistic style of writing that just didn’t work for me. The stories weren’t consistent, and the quoted comments were not related to the story.
I stopped reading it after a few chapters.

[Naomi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Autobiographical account of Lihi Lapid's significant struggle with the extent to which her entire identity was upset upon the birth of her children.

[Kim Kanofsky · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was able to get this in preview form in English. I liked the two main characters and the discussion of the Jewish woman through marriage and motherhood.

[None · Rating 3 out of 5]

Partially too obvious but still intriguing...

[Rita Bookreader · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved her concept and random interviews with a theme that flow through the book. What happens to the princess and prince ever after? Very true to life and nice writing from this talented author.