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Not Telling
A traumatic accident changes the lives of two sisters, Karen and Jenny, unleashing hate, jealousy, and betrayal. Someone from the past comes back into their lives. Jenny is faced with an enormous dilemma, should she tell?
- GenresFictionYoung Adult
234 pages, Paperback
First published May 10, 2010
About the author
Cindy Vine
42 books35 followersCindy Vine is an author, mother of three kids, with lots of life experiences she uses as an inspiration source to write her books about. She is a teacher and uses her teaching qualifications to travel around the world teaching.
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
March 30, 2013
Loved it :)
July 10, 2010
Not Telling was a great book, Emotional but great. I couldn't put it down, i got sucked in with in the first 2 pages. you should definitley read it if you havn't already.
February 12, 2011
I was intending to craft an eloquent opening sentence for Cindy Vine’s new novel Not Telling, but stunned silence has temporarily blocked my ability to write. To put it bluntly, Not Telling was the literary equivalent of a succession of violent blows to my stomach; each time I tried to catch my breath, another blow knocked the wind out of me. From the opening scene, Not Telling is a lesson in the mercilessness and depravity of humanity, whence 8 year-old Jenny van Tonder is maliciously set up by her big sister Karen and a friend to be sexually molested by said friend’s creepy Uncle Eddie. Sister and creepy uncle both use the memory of Jenny’s deceased mother as a mean-spirited means of ensuring her silence (“I watched you through the window. You’re disgusting. What would Mom say if she was here? You’re a dirty, dirty girl. I’m ashamed of you, that you’re my sister, that you can do things like that”). Fast forward several years. 13 year-old Jenny has purposely turned herself into an obese fortress of defense (“food is my barrier against the world…fat and ugly keeps me safe; nobody wants to do things to a fat girl”), which only serves to draw increased enmity from her emotionally-abusive sister. “I hate Karen,” Jenny admits, “but however deep my hatred for her is, her hatred for me is more intense.” At a New Years Eve party, our plump heroine is brutally raped and devirginized while Karen and her friends watch on cheering and clapping. “I can’t believe I was raped for a case of beer! That’s what I’m worth to these people,” she says numbly, almost self-mockingly, to herself afterwards while mopping up her torn hymen. Unable to keep these traumatizing experiences inside any longer, Jenny turns to cutting herself, a therapeutic form of self-inflicted lacerations (“maybe the evil is in my veins; if I cut them open, the evil in me can escape and I can be free”). Unfortunately, a slice across her wrist accidentally goes too deep, sending Jenny to the hospital. “I was bored, okay? So I started playing (tic-tac-toe) on my legs. I carved the grid for the game onto my thighs,” she says sarcastically to the psychologist, unwilling to share her dark secrets with anyone. Jenny’s grades deteriorate, whereby she is eventually kicked out of school and forced to take on a menial minimum-wage job, the upside being that she challenges herself to lose weight (“the girl in the mirror looking back at me is not fat or ugly. She’s quite beautiful and when I smile at her she smiles back at me”). She reluctantly agrees to have a social drink with rich boy Dean, who proceeds to date-rape her, resulting in pregnancy. The messy miscarriage that ensues may or may not be a blessing in disguise. “Only eighteen years old and I feel as if I’ve already lived several lifetimes,” she reflects appraisingly just before she agrees to marry new neighbor Nick, a too-good-to-be-true suitor. A calamitous wedding night, however (“visions of Uncle Eddie, the boy on the beach and Dean fill my mind. They are with me on my wedding night…turn my body into a concrete block.”), swiftly ensures that Jenny and Nick’s relationship in the bedroom is doomed. Housewife Jenny, resigned to her status as an emotionally-damaged cold fish, accepts Nick’s inevitable infidelities (“The truth is, I don’t care if Nick has girlfriends. As long as he doesn’t bring them home”), but when she catches Nick and her vindictive sister brazenly in bed together (Karen turns around and sees me standing in the doorway, she looks straight at me and smiles…”), Jenny finally divorces him.
And this all in just the first half of the book!
Twists, turns and murder wrap up this gripping narrative. Set in post-Apartheid South Africa, the storyline also occasionally touches on social issues that have affected the continent (“finding a full-time job is not so easy in the New South Africa…hundreds of thousands of people who were previously denied certain jobs have invaded the job market”); a vague subplot involving an interracial romance between Jenny’s father and the “colored” maid deserved more page space. Cindy Vine is a dangerous author – and considering all the bland, “safe,” yawn-inducing books that continue to be pumped out by commercial publishers, I say that as the highest possible compliment. Vine deftly weaves dialogue and stream-of-consciousness prose to keep the story flowing like freshly-let blood. Intent on inflicting an unforgettable literary experience on her readers, Vine wields an arsenal of sensitive issues such as rape, emotional abuse and unwanted pregnancy like a morning star, leaving us lacerated and crushed by the end of her story. Vine, an admitted rape victim herself, has obviously written this book as a form of self-medication, and she does so with unrelenting brutality to the point that when Jenny cries out “please God, kill me this minute. I’ve done my time, had enough,” we tend to agree with her. Like Jenny’s therapeutic cutting, the razor does occasionally strike too deep during Not Telling, which may leave some female readers unwittingly forced to face their demons. And perhaps this is Vine’s objective. “Rape, it never goes away, does it?” she states from Jenny’s first-person perspective. “The after-effects of it linger around like a bad smell in a bathroom.”
And this all in just the first half of the book!
Twists, turns and murder wrap up this gripping narrative. Set in post-Apartheid South Africa, the storyline also occasionally touches on social issues that have affected the continent (“finding a full-time job is not so easy in the New South Africa…hundreds of thousands of people who were previously denied certain jobs have invaded the job market”); a vague subplot involving an interracial romance between Jenny’s father and the “colored” maid deserved more page space. Cindy Vine is a dangerous author – and considering all the bland, “safe,” yawn-inducing books that continue to be pumped out by commercial publishers, I say that as the highest possible compliment. Vine deftly weaves dialogue and stream-of-consciousness prose to keep the story flowing like freshly-let blood. Intent on inflicting an unforgettable literary experience on her readers, Vine wields an arsenal of sensitive issues such as rape, emotional abuse and unwanted pregnancy like a morning star, leaving us lacerated and crushed by the end of her story. Vine, an admitted rape victim herself, has obviously written this book as a form of self-medication, and she does so with unrelenting brutality to the point that when Jenny cries out “please God, kill me this minute. I’ve done my time, had enough,” we tend to agree with her. Like Jenny’s therapeutic cutting, the razor does occasionally strike too deep during Not Telling, which may leave some female readers unwittingly forced to face their demons. And perhaps this is Vine’s objective. “Rape, it never goes away, does it?” she states from Jenny’s first-person perspective. “The after-effects of it linger around like a bad smell in a bathroom.”
November 5, 2010
Cindy Vine kindly made three of her books available for free, as eBooks, in a promotion at Smashwords back in May, and being a lover of ‘free’ I couldn’t resist the opportunity, especially as I do most of my book reading using my smartphone these days. It took a while for me to get around to reading them (hey! I’m busy you know!) but I wasn’t disappointed when I did.
I read them in the ‘wrong’ order. That is, not in the order they were published, but each is a self-contained story, about different characters, so it’s not a necessity. I started with The Case Of Billy B, then moved on to Stop The World I Want To Pee, then to Not Telling.
All three books, although not directly connected, deal with difficult topics. Billy B is the victim of child abuse, Fenella, in Stop The World, could be described as a slightly reluctant wild child, and Jenny, in Not Telling, is the victim not only of misfortune but also of sex abuse as a child.
So, if you are looking for a cosy, rose-coloured glasses read then these books are not for you. But despite the stories being about the raw side of humanity, Cindy Vine’s writing, and her insight into her characters make them well worth reading.
It would be nice, perhaps, if the world was a place where such cruelty, both directed and random, did not exist, but we’ve a long way to go before we reach that stage, if we ever do. I sometimes find myself wondering how people can behave as they do, when I hear a story of cruelty on the News, particularly when the victims are children. Cindy explores how such things can happen and puts depth into all the characters involved, both good and bad.
I happily recommend Cindy’s books, and thank her for making them available in the way she did. Even though the free promotion is over, you can still purchase the eBooks for only $1.50 at Smashwords.
I read them in the ‘wrong’ order. That is, not in the order they were published, but each is a self-contained story, about different characters, so it’s not a necessity. I started with The Case Of Billy B, then moved on to Stop The World I Want To Pee, then to Not Telling.
All three books, although not directly connected, deal with difficult topics. Billy B is the victim of child abuse, Fenella, in Stop The World, could be described as a slightly reluctant wild child, and Jenny, in Not Telling, is the victim not only of misfortune but also of sex abuse as a child.
So, if you are looking for a cosy, rose-coloured glasses read then these books are not for you. But despite the stories being about the raw side of humanity, Cindy Vine’s writing, and her insight into her characters make them well worth reading.
It would be nice, perhaps, if the world was a place where such cruelty, both directed and random, did not exist, but we’ve a long way to go before we reach that stage, if we ever do. I sometimes find myself wondering how people can behave as they do, when I hear a story of cruelty on the News, particularly when the victims are children. Cindy explores how such things can happen and puts depth into all the characters involved, both good and bad.
I happily recommend Cindy’s books, and thank her for making them available in the way she did. Even though the free promotion is over, you can still purchase the eBooks for only $1.50 at Smashwords.
September 17, 2010
This was a sad book. Throughout the book, the reader witnesses a series of abusive events in Jenny's life- physical, sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse. The book details how Jenny has coped with the abuse and how she has failed to cope. I think the scary part of the book is Jenny's sister. Jenny's sister was not only a witness to the abuse Jenny endured but also participated and encouraged abuse.
The book seemed slightly rushed as the author tried to tell Jenny's entire life story from when she was a small child (she is abused by her sister's friend's uncle) until she is much older. We only get small bits of Jenny's life and the story never gets a chance to develop. Nevertheless, with the amount of abuse Jenny had to endure, it is not hard to feel for Jenny. Jenny's coping skills- eating, cutting, etc., seem very realistic and some of the scenes had me teary eyed!
Overall, a good book.
The book seemed slightly rushed as the author tried to tell Jenny's entire life story from when she was a small child (she is abused by her sister's friend's uncle) until she is much older. We only get small bits of Jenny's life and the story never gets a chance to develop. Nevertheless, with the amount of abuse Jenny had to endure, it is not hard to feel for Jenny. Jenny's coping skills- eating, cutting, etc., seem very realistic and some of the scenes had me teary eyed!
Overall, a good book.
August 7, 2010
Couldn't put this book down. Read it in one evening. The book takes you on a rollercoaster ride through the life of the main character. Very emotionally disturbing experiences. You really feel connected to her and her life; and hope that things will start going her way.
April 27, 2019
Euh... Writing a bad review is never easy, particularly when you’ve been sent the book by the author themselves. But, I have to be honest. Know that I have tried my best to be fair.
The good things, then.
There is a good story hiding in here somewhere. Vine has clearly done her research on rape victim psychology, and she was certainly brave in her subject matter, unflinching in her portrayal of it… I just felt it really didn’t work.
The story was told chronologically, which meant we heard of Jenny’s traumas in the first person as it is happening. Which is a little bit too much for me when dealing with such a harrowing subject as childhood rape. If the story had been told from an adult perspective, looking back at the past, it would have provided a sense of removal from the scene – a buffer for the reader. We read to experience lives outside of our own, and while a dark background adds depth and interest to the character, there are certain things we don’t particularly want to experience so up close and personal. It would have made me very uncomfortable… only it was written in such a way that it made me laugh. Which really isn’t a good thing.
Vine has clearly thought hard about children and their sexual innocence, but rather than having her character view the memories from an adult perspective, there are lines like this:
A purply pink standing up thing is sticking out of Uncle Eddie’s trousers, like a cobra sticking its head out of a hole, and it’s dripping snot onto my leg.
Um. Yes.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t really get any better than that.
The characters then.
I’ve already mentioned Vine’s obvious research into rape victim psychology – it really shows in her portrayal of Jenny as an overeater, anorexic, cutter, incapable of physical affection. I didn’t ever really doubt that Jenny would have reacted psychologically the way she did.
The other characters, though, and some of Jenny’s actions, were totally off the mark.
For a start this is a book about sibling rivalry in some senses. There is rivalry, yes, but it makes no sense. Karen is just a totally evil character with no redeeming features. Written well, she could have been a brilliant character, and Vine did try to give her realistic reasons behind her flawed behaviour, but a sister, no matter how jealous and damaged, does not watch (and encourage) her sister’s rape and not feel guilt about it. The story should have been a journey towards redemption for the two of them, but a cop out ending saw Karen written out of Jenny’s story in a way that Jenny didn’t have to feel anything about.
Characters also blithely talk about murdering the main antagonist. Now, a little joke about it, or a few strong words said in anger or while drunk I could buy, but a blase conversation over coffee about killing off someone is not what people do. Not seriously.
Then there’s the whole middle section of the book, where Jenny gets married to Nick, a character who I thought made sense, but within a paragraph left me wondering who he was, what he wanted, and what on earth his motivations were.
Again, I feel this could have been a better story. Jenny’s marriage breaks down, and the final run of the book is her quest to find herself, through opening a coffee shop. That was the interesting part of the story, unfortunately glossed over. If the story had started with Jenny trying to open a coffee shop, detailing her struggles to find the money and believe in herself, revealing as the story progressed about her traumatic past and how she got to where she was at the start of the novel, it could have been a really moving tale.
Overall, I think the sum of this book’s problems is the fact that it is self-published. A good editor could have fixed this, though realistically, I doubt in the busy world of publishing there are many who would dedicate the time. As it is, grammatical errors (it actually says ‘would of’ at one point – ARRRGGGH), over cooked metaphors and two page long paragraphs that jump between topics and bewilder the reader make this a difficult book to read. For a story that’s not absolutely incredible, only the most dedicated of readers would sift through all that.
The good things, then.
There is a good story hiding in here somewhere. Vine has clearly done her research on rape victim psychology, and she was certainly brave in her subject matter, unflinching in her portrayal of it… I just felt it really didn’t work.
The story was told chronologically, which meant we heard of Jenny’s traumas in the first person as it is happening. Which is a little bit too much for me when dealing with such a harrowing subject as childhood rape. If the story had been told from an adult perspective, looking back at the past, it would have provided a sense of removal from the scene – a buffer for the reader. We read to experience lives outside of our own, and while a dark background adds depth and interest to the character, there are certain things we don’t particularly want to experience so up close and personal. It would have made me very uncomfortable… only it was written in such a way that it made me laugh. Which really isn’t a good thing.
Vine has clearly thought hard about children and their sexual innocence, but rather than having her character view the memories from an adult perspective, there are lines like this:
A purply pink standing up thing is sticking out of Uncle Eddie’s trousers, like a cobra sticking its head out of a hole, and it’s dripping snot onto my leg.
Um. Yes.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t really get any better than that.
The characters then.
I’ve already mentioned Vine’s obvious research into rape victim psychology – it really shows in her portrayal of Jenny as an overeater, anorexic, cutter, incapable of physical affection. I didn’t ever really doubt that Jenny would have reacted psychologically the way she did.
The other characters, though, and some of Jenny’s actions, were totally off the mark.
For a start this is a book about sibling rivalry in some senses. There is rivalry, yes, but it makes no sense. Karen is just a totally evil character with no redeeming features. Written well, she could have been a brilliant character, and Vine did try to give her realistic reasons behind her flawed behaviour, but a sister, no matter how jealous and damaged, does not watch (and encourage) her sister’s rape and not feel guilt about it. The story should have been a journey towards redemption for the two of them, but a cop out ending saw Karen written out of Jenny’s story in a way that Jenny didn’t have to feel anything about.
Characters also blithely talk about murdering the main antagonist. Now, a little joke about it, or a few strong words said in anger or while drunk I could buy, but a blase conversation over coffee about killing off someone is not what people do. Not seriously.
Then there’s the whole middle section of the book, where Jenny gets married to Nick, a character who I thought made sense, but within a paragraph left me wondering who he was, what he wanted, and what on earth his motivations were.
Again, I feel this could have been a better story. Jenny’s marriage breaks down, and the final run of the book is her quest to find herself, through opening a coffee shop. That was the interesting part of the story, unfortunately glossed over. If the story had started with Jenny trying to open a coffee shop, detailing her struggles to find the money and believe in herself, revealing as the story progressed about her traumatic past and how she got to where she was at the start of the novel, it could have been a really moving tale.
Overall, I think the sum of this book’s problems is the fact that it is self-published. A good editor could have fixed this, though realistically, I doubt in the busy world of publishing there are many who would dedicate the time. As it is, grammatical errors (it actually says ‘would of’ at one point – ARRRGGGH), over cooked metaphors and two page long paragraphs that jump between topics and bewilder the reader make this a difficult book to read. For a story that’s not absolutely incredible, only the most dedicated of readers would sift through all that.
July 26, 2013
I am sure I will get bashed for this review but that is okay with me because this review is needed badly. This is a book about abuse, rape, secrets and lies. If this is not the types of books you like then I would move on.
The first part of the book was not to horrible aside from the horrible grammar, overused word, misused words and misspelled words. This lasted all through the book sadly. Everyone was always biting their lips for example. Almost every time someone talked they were biting their lip. This being only one small example.
My other issue is that Jenny gets in a relationship of sorts with a Pastor, she also owns a coffee shop/christen book store. Yet she uses the word God a LOT. The pastor even says Oh god several times. To me this just does not fit the characters at all. It makes the conversations and the characters seem stilted.
The majority of the book was so unbelievable that instead of feeling bad for what Jenny had gone through I just wanted to laugh. No I am not cold hearted and no I am not saying all this could not ever happen to one person. How she acted and the added characters, Morgan and Chantal for example were just completely flat characters that were very unbelievable most times.
The ending was tied up in a nice predictable little bow that was supposed to make you happy I guess but for me a book trying to be realistic and then everything just works out perfect does not fit. Do not get me wrong if there was not some sort of closure I would not have liked that either but not this perfect wrapped up all in a red bow ending either.
The first part of the book was not to horrible aside from the horrible grammar, overused word, misused words and misspelled words. This lasted all through the book sadly. Everyone was always biting their lips for example. Almost every time someone talked they were biting their lip. This being only one small example.
My other issue is that Jenny gets in a relationship of sorts with a Pastor, she also owns a coffee shop/christen book store. Yet she uses the word God a LOT. The pastor even says Oh god several times. To me this just does not fit the characters at all. It makes the conversations and the characters seem stilted.
The majority of the book was so unbelievable that instead of feeling bad for what Jenny had gone through I just wanted to laugh. No I am not cold hearted and no I am not saying all this could not ever happen to one person. How she acted and the added characters, Morgan and Chantal for example were just completely flat characters that were very unbelievable most times.
The ending was tied up in a nice predictable little bow that was supposed to make you happy I guess but for me a book trying to be realistic and then everything just works out perfect does not fit. Do not get me wrong if there was not some sort of closure I would not have liked that either but not this perfect wrapped up all in a red bow ending either.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 12, 2011
3 and a half stars. This was a random 99 cent kindle buy, and I'm not gonna lie, it was kind of good. It wasn't brilliant writing by any means but I was sort of enthralled by the story. It might be a book that you put on your next summer beach list, although to all my Kindle friends, why not just buy it--it's 99 cents. It's story about two sisters living in Africa with their father. Their mother dies when they are young and they never get along from that point on. The younger sister is tortured by her older sister, and goes through some terrible things, over an over. There were some good supporting characters.
August 3, 2012
Caution: Vague spoilers, but no plot giveaway.
Did I read the same book as everyone else to review this? Someone please tell me if the end of the book is so abrupt that you think there should be more chapters to it. That is what it was for me. Otherwise, I am missing some data from my e-book. Does it end with Betsy walking out of that hospital room and speaking to Jenny? If the book in deed in at this point, then I have a lot of unanswered questions. Who was at the door (the "shadow") listening to Dean and Jenny? Did Jenny ever talk to Karen? I get cliffhangers just fine, but this one would be too much.
Did I read the same book as everyone else to review this? Someone please tell me if the end of the book is so abrupt that you think there should be more chapters to it. That is what it was for me. Otherwise, I am missing some data from my e-book. Does it end with Betsy walking out of that hospital room and speaking to Jenny? If the book in deed in at this point, then I have a lot of unanswered questions. Who was at the door (the "shadow") listening to Dean and Jenny? Did Jenny ever talk to Karen? I get cliffhangers just fine, but this one would be too much.
December 4, 2011
2 1/2 out of 5 stars. This was an emotional read, and I won't lie, I didn't hate this book, I just didn't really like it, I have read far better. This is a story about two sisters living in Africa with thier Dad. Bitterness, rage, anger and hatred divide the two sisters after thier Mother dies tragically. One of the main characters, Jenny, lives through three trauma's and her sisters constant verbal abuse, until one day she able to talk about it. "Not Telling" started out good and then got slow and seemed to drag.
August 22, 2011
I really liked this book. It had me hooked from the very beginning and I love books that can do that. It was a very sad, hard road for the main character Jenny after losing her mom early in life and having a sister do nothing but wrong to her. She truly had some guts to survive what she did! This was a very fast read and kept me hooked to the end.
August 12, 2011
This story starts out with a bang and keeps on going. It had my interest immediately and made me feel for the characters. I loved the friendship between Jenny & Brian and how they were always there to support each other.
July 6, 2010
I enjoyed writing this book, couldn't wait for my special writing time each day to see where the characters were taking the story. It even had me on my edge of my seat even though I wrote it!
August 31, 2011
it was a free book for my kindle. Easy read. A bit depressing..
April 30, 2012
Was a very emotional book. Once she thinks she has her feet back under her, life throws her the same curve ball again.
June 23, 2012
unexpected. it was on my wish list for awhile and i started to read without knowing too much about it. well written, heart wrenching story. sad but a good story.
August 1, 2012
The first part of the book makes quite hard reading and is a bit disturbing, this is due to the explicit content about child abuse and rape. The overall story is excellent
September 12, 2012
Wow!!! What a book. I did not want to put it down. I'm deferring my review as I need time to put my thoughts in order after reading the sad things that the main character Jenny endures.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews