What do you think?
Rate this book
Beginning to Heal: A First Book for Men and Women Who Were Sexually Abused As Children
There's nothing as wonderful as starting to heal, waking up in the morning and knowing that nobody can hurt you if you don't let them.
Beginning to Heal offers hope and guidance for all survivors starting the healing journey. No matter how great your pain today, you can not only heal but thrive. Based on the authors' bestseller The Courage to Heal, this Revised Edition of Beginning to Heal takes you through the key stages of the healing process, from crisis times to breaking the silence, grief, and anger, to resolution and moving on. It includes inspirational highlights, clear explanations, practical suggestions, and compelling accounts of survivors' pain, their strength, and their triumphs.
Beginning to Heal offers hope and guidance for all survivors starting the healing journey. No matter how great your pain today, you can not only heal but thrive. Based on the authors' bestseller The Courage to Heal, this Revised Edition of Beginning to Heal takes you through the key stages of the healing process, from crisis times to breaking the silence, grief, and anger, to resolution and moving on. It includes inspirational highlights, clear explanations, practical suggestions, and compelling accounts of survivors' pain, their strength, and their triumphs.
112 pages, Paperback
First published December 4, 2012
46 people are currently reading
356 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
December 15, 2018
This book was the miracle of all miracles. As I was reading, I swear I was able to feel weight lifted off my shoulders. I loved the concept of the author talking to the reader and reassuring them. The separate sections that focus on a certain topic made this book easy to read.
I don't want this to be my regular boring ass review because this is something that's so important to me. This is actually the closest thing to help I've gotten in the years following my sexual abuse.
I'm about to get personal so TW: sexual abuse
Just a little background, I was sexually abused when I was around 10 or 11 years old. I'm not 100% sure how old I was but I know for certain that I was in 5th grade. The man that sexually abused me was my sibling's godfather and a close family friend. It lasted for a few months but it totally messed me up in the years to come.
I always assumed that once the abuse was over I would somehow feel better but instead of getting better, things got worse. Anger, sadness, and hopelessness were consistent throughout the years. I think that all had to do with the fact that nothing ever happened to him. His actions didn't seem to garner him any consequences. He got away with sexually abusing me, living his life care-free, while I was forced to live with what he had done to me.
But this book was of great help in order to help me heal, regardless if it's been almost 10 years or not, I'm so thankful for this book. The amount of times I cried throughout the book is just too many to count. I think I'll talk about the sections that really helped.
For starters, Healing is Possible helped me realize that my sexual abuse is valid even if it isn't as bad as other people's. "The fact that someone else has suffered from abuse that was worse than yours does not lessen your suffering" It forced me to see that I was always saying " oh I can't really be suffering because it wasn't as bad as the experience of other's" but there's a point where I just have to admit that I did suffer, and it does count.
In The Decision to Heal I liked that they continuously stated that people can't heal alone. That the silence needs to be broken and reach out to others for support. It was only 2 years ago when I finally spoke to my friends about it because before that, only my family knew what had happened. Telling them what had happened to me made me feel better, it felt as if my chest had been tightened and the pressure was released.
Beginning to Heal showed me that I was guilty of denying it happened. During my freshman year in high school, I tried to forget that ever happened. I kept repeating that I didn't get sexually abused and just tried to go about my day. I kept trying to tell myself that it didn't happen, maybe I had imagined it or something. But I now realize that I have to face the truth, something I've tried to hide from everyone and myself for so many years. Maybe that could help me heal.
I absolutely loved when they said that it's not necessary to forgive the abuser. I always hear "You have to forgive him in order for you to move on" and I always felt like that a bowl of shit. Instead, they say that the only person people need to forgive is themselves. I've come to terms that I need to forgive myself because I always blamed myself for something that was not my fault.
This book is a blessing in my life and I think it's one that I'll keep re-reading often in order for me to accept the abuse and not let it affect me the way it's currently affecting me.
I don't want this to be my regular boring ass review because this is something that's so important to me. This is actually the closest thing to help I've gotten in the years following my sexual abuse.
I'm about to get personal so TW: sexual abuse
Just a little background, I was sexually abused when I was around 10 or 11 years old. I'm not 100% sure how old I was but I know for certain that I was in 5th grade. The man that sexually abused me was my sibling's godfather and a close family friend. It lasted for a few months but it totally messed me up in the years to come.
I always assumed that once the abuse was over I would somehow feel better but instead of getting better, things got worse. Anger, sadness, and hopelessness were consistent throughout the years. I think that all had to do with the fact that nothing ever happened to him. His actions didn't seem to garner him any consequences. He got away with sexually abusing me, living his life care-free, while I was forced to live with what he had done to me.
But this book was of great help in order to help me heal, regardless if it's been almost 10 years or not, I'm so thankful for this book. The amount of times I cried throughout the book is just too many to count. I think I'll talk about the sections that really helped.
For starters, Healing is Possible helped me realize that my sexual abuse is valid even if it isn't as bad as other people's. "The fact that someone else has suffered from abuse that was worse than yours does not lessen your suffering" It forced me to see that I was always saying " oh I can't really be suffering because it wasn't as bad as the experience of other's" but there's a point where I just have to admit that I did suffer, and it does count.
In The Decision to Heal I liked that they continuously stated that people can't heal alone. That the silence needs to be broken and reach out to others for support. It was only 2 years ago when I finally spoke to my friends about it because before that, only my family knew what had happened. Telling them what had happened to me made me feel better, it felt as if my chest had been tightened and the pressure was released.
Beginning to Heal showed me that I was guilty of denying it happened. During my freshman year in high school, I tried to forget that ever happened. I kept repeating that I didn't get sexually abused and just tried to go about my day. I kept trying to tell myself that it didn't happen, maybe I had imagined it or something. But I now realize that I have to face the truth, something I've tried to hide from everyone and myself for so many years. Maybe that could help me heal.
I absolutely loved when they said that it's not necessary to forgive the abuser. I always hear "You have to forgive him in order for you to move on" and I always felt like that a bowl of shit. Instead, they say that the only person people need to forgive is themselves. I've come to terms that I need to forgive myself because I always blamed myself for something that was not my fault.
This book is a blessing in my life and I think it's one that I'll keep re-reading often in order for me to accept the abuse and not let it affect me the way it's currently affecting me.
April 23, 2013
If you are coping with a past and must begin your journey to healing alone then start with this book. It is written by women who understand from the point of view of understanding. At times it is blunt other times it is frank, all the time it helps.
January 15, 2012
This little mini-book is a godsent. Highly recommend to anyone contemplating therapy or just starting. It's the beacon of light in a lifetime of fog.
July 29, 2016
I started reading this book around February 2014. I had been struggling with being a 20 year survivor and I was tired of letting the guilt and shame control my life. I researched several books to begin my healing journey, and decided to give this one a try first based on the many reviews I read on several sites. THIS BOOK IS GOD SENT! I cannot begin to show my gratitude! This book gave me the courage to not only admit and acknowledge to myself the pain I skillfully buried away for years, but it also gave me to courage to tell someone about my past. I never knew that holding such a painful secret in my whole life weighed so heavily on me. I definitely want to add this book to my personal collection to reference in time of need. I would recommend this book to anyone interested in healing but confused on where to start. Although the book is relatively short, it took several weeks for me to complete it. Some parts brought up memories and emotions I was not ready to face but the authors encourage you to read at your own pace. My healing journey has just begun and honestly might not ever be complete...but this book gave me something I thought I'd lost forever...HOPE.
May 13, 2024
4⭐️ I genuinely felt like I was fully healed before opening this book, but I was proven wrong.
Most of the steps labeled in this amazing book, I had already taken in my own journey to heal myself. I had only missed the step of forgiving myself. For so many years I harboured feelings of guilt and shame because I fully believed that I was the reason for my cousins and sister’s own molestation. I believed that because I was the first one to have been abused, it was my fault that the other girls hurt as well. Maybe if I spoke up in the beginning, they would’ve been spared. I honestly will never know the outcome because I never spoke up.
I kept quiet for 5 years and believed that by putting myself between my uncle and the other girls, I was protecting them. I wasn’t. I didn’t know that they were also being abused by him and that has been my greatest shame. When I expressed all these feelings to my sister, she told me that she agreed with my shame because she also blamed me. I could’ve spoken up, but I never did. I chose to keep everyone blind.
I don’t think I have ever been hurt so badly after hearing that. That worsened my self hate and my anxiety. I just felt so guilty and in my own process of healing, I forgave my abuser but not myself. I could’ve spared the hurt from 5 lives and that was always the source of my own suffering.
But this book really opened my eyes to the fact that I was just a child. I was an innocent child who had no idea to react to one of her favourite people violating her and her innocence. This book allowed me to come to terms with the fact that I needed to learn to forgive myself and work forward. Yes, it still hurts that my cousins and sisters suffered, but I also cannot keep living in the past and I need to better my own life. They moved on so why wasn’t I allowed to?
I hope that whoever spent the time to read this just realizes that life is precious and should not be spent on pleasing others. Yes, mistakes are made but the important lesson is to try and remedy those mistakes or just move on. Forgiveness is key and you truly only fully need to forgive yourself.
Most of the steps labeled in this amazing book, I had already taken in my own journey to heal myself. I had only missed the step of forgiving myself. For so many years I harboured feelings of guilt and shame because I fully believed that I was the reason for my cousins and sister’s own molestation. I believed that because I was the first one to have been abused, it was my fault that the other girls hurt as well. Maybe if I spoke up in the beginning, they would’ve been spared. I honestly will never know the outcome because I never spoke up.
I kept quiet for 5 years and believed that by putting myself between my uncle and the other girls, I was protecting them. I wasn’t. I didn’t know that they were also being abused by him and that has been my greatest shame. When I expressed all these feelings to my sister, she told me that she agreed with my shame because she also blamed me. I could’ve spoken up, but I never did. I chose to keep everyone blind.
I don’t think I have ever been hurt so badly after hearing that. That worsened my self hate and my anxiety. I just felt so guilty and in my own process of healing, I forgave my abuser but not myself. I could’ve spared the hurt from 5 lives and that was always the source of my own suffering.
But this book really opened my eyes to the fact that I was just a child. I was an innocent child who had no idea to react to one of her favourite people violating her and her innocence. This book allowed me to come to terms with the fact that I needed to learn to forgive myself and work forward. Yes, it still hurts that my cousins and sisters suffered, but I also cannot keep living in the past and I need to better my own life. They moved on so why wasn’t I allowed to?
I hope that whoever spent the time to read this just realizes that life is precious and should not be spent on pleasing others. Yes, mistakes are made but the important lesson is to try and remedy those mistakes or just move on. Forgiveness is key and you truly only fully need to forgive yourself.
January 15, 2025
I think the biggest thing for me when reading this book was the affirmation that it’s OK to talk about it. When I was younger, I would talk about it quite openly with people I was close to, so I felt validated that wanting to talk about it at some point is natural and healthy. The hard part that I learned was that not everyone can hear it and be OK with it. I’ve lost friends being so open about it, so one of the biggest takeaways for me from this book was that I was not alone in wanting someone outside of myself to hear me and to know that it wasn’t my fault that those people walked away after hearing.
When someone experiences something so horrific, for such a long period of time over their childhood, “normal” takes on a different face that not everyone can look into and still stand strong without wanting to run away.
When someone experiences something so horrific, for such a long period of time over their childhood, “normal” takes on a different face that not everyone can look into and still stand strong without wanting to run away.
Read
March 26, 2021(This was an educational read, therefore, would not rate)
-
This book is a short-read book, meaning to summarize and revise the main points in "The Courage to Heal". This aims to help the victims of abuse see through their pain and learn how to heal, as well as realize that their pain is real/sorrowful.
not only was this a survivors book to read, this revised copy also targets those who are in close-relations with victims, giving insight of abuse and some possible tips that can help with strengthening the potential relationship they have with the particular victim.
-
Would recommend the "The Courage to Heal" book to be read by victims instead of this revised copy for better tips and clearer insight.
-
This book is a short-read book, meaning to summarize and revise the main points in "The Courage to Heal". This aims to help the victims of abuse see through their pain and learn how to heal, as well as realize that their pain is real/sorrowful.
not only was this a survivors book to read, this revised copy also targets those who are in close-relations with victims, giving insight of abuse and some possible tips that can help with strengthening the potential relationship they have with the particular victim.
-
Would recommend the "The Courage to Heal" book to be read by victims instead of this revised copy for better tips and clearer insight.
January 1, 2025
This title looked to me like the shorter version of The Courage to Heal, which is an absolutely fantastic title. Beginning to Heal is similar and also full of information and very helpful ideas for your healing process.
Mind, in this title you will find reports from survivors of CSA, so this can easily bring back the unwanted memories. That being said, the Beginning to Heal is definitely worth 5 stars.
Mind, in this title you will find reports from survivors of CSA, so this can easily bring back the unwanted memories. That being said, the Beginning to Heal is definitely worth 5 stars.
January 17, 2021
It's a pretty good book. The content of the book outside of people's personal accounts seemed to be helpful if you're coming to terms with your own journey. However the stories of other survivors can be triggering. After I read this found it brought up some of my trauma during the rest of the day. But overall I did gain something from the read just be mindful of your own limits.
June 24, 2022
Was recommended this book as part of my counselling degree to better understand clients with childhood trauma that derived from sexual assault. It was a short but intriguing albeit sad read with plenty of examples of survivors.
January 17, 2019
Another very powerful and impactful internship read that can serve as a great tool for survivors of childhood sexual abuse
April 15, 2019
perfect beginner book for any survivor starting out the therapy/healing process. I recommend it to many of my clients.
February 11, 2020
كتاب حجمه وصغير لكنه مؤلم جدا
January 23, 2025
I strongly disagree with this as a "first book" for survivors to read. Ive put work into my healing journey and found some solid reminders in this book.
February 19, 2019
ملهم بحق.. رائع بحق..
ممتنة له كثيراً ..
ممتنة له كثيراً ..
May 2, 2017
A small book, that I have found is perfect for giving to supporters of those of us in recovery from Child Sexual Abuse. It hits the hi-lights of the BIG BOOK, Courage to Heal, without being so overwhelming. I've given a copy to 3 people so far and each has said this helped them to understand how best to help me, and others they know who are survivors.
June 8, 2016
I have recommended this book to female clients when they have entrusted me with the honor of working with them around sexual abuse -- their clear choice as i always offer that they may want a female counsellor.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews