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Dancing with Max: A Mother and Son Who Broke Free

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Meet a remarkable young man. Max doesn’t communicate like we do. But he communicates better than we do about the most important things. Max doesn’t think like we do. But his actions reflect deep spiritual truths. With candor and wit, Emily Colson shares about her personal battles and heartbreak when, as a suddenly single mother, she discovers her only child has autism. Emily illuminates the page with imagery―making you laugh, making you cry, inspiring you to face your own challenges. Chuck Colson, in his most personal writing since Born Again, speaks as a father and grandfather. It is a tender side Max brings out of his grandfather, a side some haven’t seen. As Emily recalls her experiences, we discover that Max’s disability does not so much define who he is, but reveals who we are. Dancing with Max is not a fairy tale with a magical ending. It’s a real life story of grace and second chances and fresh starts in spite of life’s hardest problems. And Max? Max will make you fall in love with life all over again, leaving you dancing with joy.

208 pages, Hardcover

First published August 10, 2010

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Emily Colson

2 books2 followers

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5 stars
424 (44%)
4 stars
339 (35%)
3 stars
157 (16%)
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30 (3%)
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8 (<1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 141 reviews
Profile Image for Fergus, Weaver of Autistic Webs.
1,270 reviews18.3k followers
December 12, 2024
Max is himself. He himself comprises ALL his world. So he’s happy when the world is just himself. He perfectly fits Leibniz’ illustration of a Monad: an enclosed soul, able to peer outside at the world but confined exclusively to itself.

Except that outside world is a THREAT to little Max. It can drive him into destructive furies. He can’t understand the world. For him it’s over-the-top “de trop” - existentially too much.

You see, Max is severely autistic.

That‘s Max. Or was, before his gorgeously understanding mother Emily had got so...

accustomed to his face -
His smiles; his frowns
His ups
His downs (and those are HUGE!)…

And decided she would take Max out into her phony (compared to her ingenuous son's) button-down world NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE ELSE SAID ABOUT IT.

She was Proud of her boy, as was his late granddad, the famed Watergate convict, Charles Colson.

And she and her Dad survived that massive shame - how did they ever do it? - by climbing up Max's horrific Cross.

Max was, and is, someone who dances to a different drummer.

What he is NOT: is a Child of Mammon or Baal.

His emotions are Real, and not Contrived. His headspace is Heaven bound, not Earthbound in Drudgery. He’s Alive in a Dead World. So he goes wild in absolute horror at the Dead World.

And I, too, became autistic at the age of three, in a much milder form: Asperger’s Syndrome. I was thenceforth a withdrawn kid, with a quirky jumpiness.

And I developed a deaf ear to things I shouldn’t be hearing.

All for the better in an outré world, I think now, though the pain - believe me - was acute.

Like Max, I’ll always be a kid at heart.

You see, Max and I never MEANT badly.

(Though, before advanced pharmaceuticals I often acted on my impulses. But positive therapeutics work wonders...)

The negative type, though, badly damages. As it NEVER, please God, may for Max...

For Emily’s faith-based, warm LOVE is teaching Max to ACCEPT the world’s harsh reactions to them both.

Something Max is facing head-on far earlier than I did.

You know, we Aspies need to face that music head-on. It's aggressive and raucous to our sensitive stay-at-home ears, but we havta do it.

You see, Aspies - as much as Max - prefer a quiet, sheltered world. I'm personally very lucky that my dad, and later my doctors, turned me around so I could face the world foursquare for a change. With some damage...

Sure it hurt. Sure folks labelled me as an oddball in the office. But the more my meds improved the more I could thrive in the world.

At 73, I STILL want to hide my head in the sand sometimes. Just like when I was a portly eleven years old and Dad INSISTED on daily calisthenics for us kids. Meaning little fat Fergus primarily, of course. Yikes.

I think the world would be a Far Better Place if we all would do like Emily & Max -

And accept Ourselves,

And this Cruelly Beautiful World -

For better or for worse -

With an OPEN HEART.

As Max can teach us ALL.
Profile Image for Jim Dressner.
143 reviews4 followers
September 5, 2013
This book is a gem. The author describes facing adversity without a sense of triumphalism or degrading into a tale of woe. The challenges are described realistically, and, unexpectedly, joy comes through the hardships, rather than by overcoming the hardships.

The author's friend, Patti, says early on: "It might not seem true now, ...but God works through these children. They are a gift. Max is a gift." I reacted skeptically, but by the end of the book, I was convinced that Max was indeed a gift.
Profile Image for Sheryl.
8 reviews11 followers
April 1, 2020
Beautiful story. This book was recommended to me and I’m glad I read it. It’s a story about a mother who relentlessly pursue to find ways to help his beloved son Mas who is autistic. While reading this book you can relate to the author and see her daily struggles and challenges with her son. I also learned so many things about autism and gained more understanding about it. A heartwarming story, it will make you cry, laughed and sad. So many lessons to learn from this book.
Profile Image for Ernie.
87 reviews
August 13, 2012
A truly amazing, heartwarming story. I recommend this book not only to those with children and loved ones with autism, but to every person with a pulse.
Profile Image for Wendy.
12 reviews1 follower
August 31, 2012
I loved this book. It was an interesting and engaging story of a mother's sacrifices and efforts to reach her autistic son. Ms Colson's story reveals the depth of pain and even more, the isolation of a family suddenly thrust into the world of autism. Her path was made all the harder by Max's father, who abandoned the family in a familiar response to this kind of stress.
I was right there through the long, sleepless nights, feeling the despair but also the intense love. I marveled at her tenacity in finding the right help for her son. The book is meaningful for all parents and enlightening for those of us who have not known an autistic child. There is much more here than one mother's story. Colson makes it deeper than that, more universal, encouraging and challenging both.
Profile Image for Margret Melissa (ladybug).
297 reviews4 followers
November 18, 2015
How would I feel if my child was born with Autism? I don't know how to answer that, but I know that took pioneers like Emily Colson and her son to show that coping with it is possible. I learned that people need to be understanding when they see a child throwing a rip roaring tantrum in a store or school and that we need to not stare. The child may not be a "spoiled rotten brat" they may just not understand how to handle emotions such as Autism.
Profile Image for Kara Rull.
88 reviews1 follower
February 9, 2011
Dancing with Max is one of the best books I have read in a long time. Living with an autistic child must be an unbelievable challenge. This book shows the realities and difficulties of raising an autistic child while still showing the tremendous blessings God sends in these children that can be so difficult to understand. Your compassion for the struggles of others will increase greatly.
88 reviews2 followers
June 14, 2019
So thankful to have read Emily Colson's story of raising her autistic son, Max! She truly gave her heart and soul to meet him where he was and to seek every opportunity to maximize his potential. The opening and closing comments and insights by Chuck Colson, Max's grandfather, celebrated Emily as a devoted mother of a special needs child and Max as one who lived life with joy.
252 reviews
July 31, 2019
I clearly have found a new "genre". Enter autism and asperger's syndrome. Dancing with Max takes us on a mother's journey with her autistic son. They both grow through their trials and tribulations as mom never gives up on Max.
100 reviews1 follower
March 1, 2023
After 10 years of marriage, Emily Colson (daughter of Chuck Colson) and her husband had a baby boy. Less than two years later, she and her husband divorced. Their son was diagnosed with autism, and Emily cared for little Max alone. He needed 24/7 care. What unfolds is a beautiful story of the many people who came alongside Emily and Max, helping, praying, encouraging. God provided for this little family all along the way. It was not, however, an easy task. Max had extreme difficulty communicating, threw frequent tantrums, slept very little, and needed a caregiver fulltime. Emily, and all of those who had the good fortune to get to know her and her son, were changed for the better by spending time in Max's presence. People with disabilities are not "a waste of time" as Max was often made to feel. He was/is a young man with a gift, created in the image of God. And it was beautiful to see the growth in him as his mother persevered to make his life a wonderful one.
Profile Image for Anna Hardin.
74 reviews1 follower
February 15, 2025
Loved it! Joy, courage, commitment, fun, silliness, inspiration. These great characters, Emily and Max, just happen to be real people. You can read it, but I’d encourage listening to Emily tell the story and introduce us to the love of her life, her son, Max. It’s the fierce protective love of a mother whose son is not getting the help he needs to flourish. An artist, Emily uses her skills to break through the barrier of autism and help her son speak and deal with his fears.

She needs lots of miracles. Her son is born into a world that is not prepared to accept and teach and learn from autistic children. We follow Emily and Max through challenge after challenge and milestone after milestone as he grows from toddler to teen to adult. There are lots of funny and miraculous stories. By the end of the book I felt like I knew sunny, funny Max and wanted to be his friend. His enthusiasm for life and his mom’s determination to give him the best life possible, are inspiring.
Profile Image for Megan Follett.
88 reviews1 follower
February 11, 2022
I don't remember if I put this book on my to-read list because it talked about autism or its Christian message. (it has both), but I loved it! It was sad at times, and I found myself laughing out loud at other times. I highly recommend it. :)
129 reviews2 followers
January 11, 2014
Admirable story by Emily Colson with introduction and prologue by her father, Charles. Charles discusses his relationship with Emily in her early years when he was very busy climbing the Washington ladder and ultimately snagged by Watergate and spent time in prison. Emily marries and has Max, soon diagnosed to have autism. Shortly after her husband divorces her and she is on her own to work her magic with her beautiful son. Emily was absolutely incredible in her determination and powerful ways to connect with Max and celebrate all his awkward moments with joy and laughter. This she has done only with the help of God and her unwavering faith. A true testimony of "being thankful in all things".
Profile Image for Darlene.
168 reviews1 follower
June 2, 2011
A wonderful read! I read it for two reasons, to gain insight and sensitivity to those with Autistic loved ones and because of my admiration for Chuck Colson, the author's father. He does a beautiful job on the prologue and epilogue. It is easy to see where his daughter, Emily, gets her story-telling skills. I highly recommend this book. A little sad in the beginning but lots of giggles in the second half.
Profile Image for Cleo.
Author 19 books18 followers
July 15, 2011
Loved the metaphors and similes used. Very appropriate and carried the language image into a visual one. Learned a lot about autism and the effect on a parent's life. Emily kept calling Max's condition a gift. I can see why at the end of the book. Cudo's to the churches who put their arms around Max and Emily to see that both realized the love of God. A lesson for all of us in the pages of this book.
Profile Image for Tim Chavel.
249 reviews77 followers
May 8, 2012
Emily Colson is the daughter of the late Chuck Colson of Watergate fame. Emily's son, Max, has autism. This is a story about Emily and her son Max and their life dealing with autism. It is also a great story of unconditional love a mother has for her son. A highly recommend this book for anyone who has an interest in autism, unconditional love, or Chuck Colson.
Profile Image for fpk .
444 reviews
August 19, 2014
Endearing account of a single mother raising her autistic son. Riveting, the kind of book you don't want to put down. Not A+ writing, and the title was off, I thought. Raising Max would have been more appropriate.
Profile Image for Karen.
32 reviews
January 29, 2018
I enjoyed it; some of it was wonderful. I am glad that I read it. But I'm mixed about this book because I wanted more details about their experiences.

Emily's breakthrough with Max using Picture Talks to work through his traumatic experiences was genius. Something like this could help a lot of people who could use a healthy coping mechanism. Too bad the process was not elaborated on more fully.

Backwards church: the decision to go to the ending part of the church service where Max had successful experiences was a brilliant idea.

Giving Max responsibilities was a capital move. I know other special needs adults who struggle with self worth and related issues because well meaning people want to shelter them and/or do everything for them. Even many "healthy" children experience similar frustrations because they are considered to be too young to "work". Independence is healthy!

Max's obsession with The Chaplet of Divine Mercy broadcasts underscores the rather common need many people have for structure, schedule, and predictability. Dislike of change is everywhere and it intriguing to see how crippling it can be for some people. Insert more compassion and thinking of others here!

It is also astounding to see how some people look upon others' difficulties with disdain, while others look upon them with compassion - even if it is bewildered compassion. And, as illustrated repeatedly in this story, it's complicated. What works this time may not work next time, which is exactly why many good hearted people are afraid to try to help or make bumbling, even offensive, attempts to do something.

One of the best parts of the book is that Emily, and others, see how Max is a gift. Because of Max, they see things in a new way or see things they may not have ever seen had it not been for Max.

On the downside, this book is like a few other books I have read by authors who have an interesting story to tell. It seems that in their effort to recreate the events from memory and have enough material for a book, they fill in the blanks with other information that is not particularly pertinent to the story (i.e. I Will Always Write Back, A Long Way Home, An Invisible Thread). In my opinion, it detracts from the "real" story.

The battles between the educational "professionals" and Emily were terribly unfortunate. I'm glad that even though Emily did not have a instantaneous perfect solution, she did not allow those people to do with Max as they wished. We all know there are no perfect parents or educators or education systems. But it seems like "professionals" ought to be able to work with parents who are willingly involved with their children's' education. We should all be on the same team. But, alas, that is another story in itself.
230 reviews
January 21, 2025
If you, or someone you know, is stepping into the dark unknown of autism, this book is a must-read. While it contains no solutions, web-links, suggested medications, doctor referrals, or toll-free phone numbers, it does contain one thing you will need for the journey ahead: Hope. This book is beautifully written with both the mother's and grandfather's eyes on the gift they had been given in the form of an autistic child. Yes, it speaks of pain and struggles, but it also rings with joy and successes and hard-won battles. I would give this 10-stars if I could. I picked this up as a light-read while fighting a bad cold and read the whole thing in about 24 hours, not counting needed naps, at times getting lost in the story. And, even if you are not facing the dark tunnel of autism, this will help you understand those who are a little better and with a little more compassion.
37 reviews
November 27, 2021
Emily Colson writes a poignant book about her autistic son Max. In a time when autism was just becoming known Emily struggled through the early years of raising Max as a divorced mom. but never letting go of her love for him. Her faith, creativity and fortitude helped her through years of not knowing if she was helping or hindering. The love and care of her family in accepting Max helped her additionally to stand and dance with Max. Her autistic son did not drag her down to the depths of despair but instead opened new vistas of a world from his eyes. The book made you appreciate the gift Max was to her and his family and not something to discard or leave in an institution. We see not just Max’s growing up but the renewal in her family that had been broken by divorce and focus on career instead of family. This heartwarming book is all about second chances and a closer look at how the often abandoned part of society actually bring all of us great enrichment and joy in our lives. It reminds me to be more sensitive to what we term weaker members in our society who are equally valuable in God’s eyes if we only stop to look and pay attention.
Profile Image for Diane.
34 reviews
March 11, 2019
I usually give high reviews for books I actually finish...yep, one of “those” readers. But this book...THIS BOOK IS A MUST READ OR LISTEN!!! I cried, I laughed, I learned so much I didn’t know and I had a huge paradigm shift concerning crying “spoiled” children. My faith soared. My love for others grew. I am, in short, a better person for listening to this book. The last few seconds of the book after listening are so precious. Wow. I feel as if I know how wonderful heaven will be and you know what I feel like doing more? I want to dance...wildly, not according to some prescribed acceptable way. I want to dance the way I feel. Thank you, Emily. Thank you, Max. Thank You, Lord.
Profile Image for Kaylin Worthington.
244 reviews29 followers
May 17, 2020
This is a beautiful story, incredibly well written, of unconditional love between mother and son and Max’s journey. It broke my heart that her husband left her upon the knowledge of an autistic son and that that happens to so many couples. But as her dad shares in the epilogue, these children are gifts. They teach unconditional, sacrificial love. We grow more empathetic and loving as a society when we love these children. They are the weakest in social Darwinism, yet they have a purity about them thst draws people near and draws others closer to God. The authenticity pulls people in and changes lives. May we all learn to love like Emily and Max.
Profile Image for Koren .
1,168 reviews40 followers
June 23, 2024
As a parent of an Asperger's child, I could totally relate to most of the things the author experienced. I admired her tenacity to fight for what she thought was right for her child. I was fortunate that I lived in an area where help was available, and I did not have to fight the system the way she did. Her fighting spirit and her faith helped her get through some trying experiences. Her father is Charles Colson. I was not familiar with him, but he spent time in prison because of his association with Richard Nixon and Watergate. This was not touched on very much in the book, but he did write a prologue and epilogue.
Profile Image for Robyn Olfert.
Author 1 book1 follower
May 21, 2025
I can’t remember the last time a book has touched me so much. I simply could not put that book down!

I appreciated hearing her share both the struggles and the joys when living with the realities of her son's disability. As someone who experiences disability herself, I am encouraged whenever I see people with disabilities being valued and included in meaningful ways. I'm glad she shared about some of the insensitivities she and Max encountered. And it was so refreshing to also hear about the beautiful and creative ways she and Max were included in various contexts.

"Dancing with Max" should be mandatory reading for all church elders, deacons, members, attendees, humans...
Profile Image for Camy An.
36 reviews1 follower
September 30, 2020
This beautiful story is one that we all should read....actually, we should listen to it read in audio form by the author. But it is the epilogue by Chuck Colson, Emily's father, that should be read by everyone. To hear Nixon's henchman, Chuck Colson, describe the beauty he has seen and experienced through having an autistic grandson, is just...well, I will let you hear it for yourself. Emily narrates the audiobook (and isn't it the best when we hear a book in the author's own voice?), and Chuck narrates the introduction and epilogue. The epilogue is a crash course in human ethics.
1 review
March 19, 2022
Heartwarming and honest reality of raising a child with autism

This book describes some of the actual struggles with raising a child with autism; from diagnosis, medication management, public school, family relationships/perspective and public role. Best of all it is positive regarding the truthful Christian aspect, unconditional love and blessing each special child has, displays and teaches us about God's love.
I have witnessed it personally with our own daughter raising our autistic grandson now 8 years old.
2 reviews
October 10, 2024
I just finished "Dancing with Max." I can’t remember the last time a book has touched me so much. I simply could not put that book down!

I appreciated hearing her share both the struggles and the joys when living with the realities of her son's disability. As someone who experiences disability herself, I am encouraged whenever I see people with disabilities being valued and included in meaningful ways. I'm glad she shared about some of the insensitivities she and Max encountered. And it was so refreshing to also hear about the beautiful and creative ways she and Max were included in various contexts.

"Dancing with Max" should be mandatory reading for all church elders, deacons, members, attendees, humans...
Profile Image for Wendy.
3 reviews
April 2, 2025
Read it...you won't regret it!

This book had been sitting in my Kindle for some time before I chose to read it...and boy, did I wish I had read it sooner! The story of Chuck Colson hails back to my early tweenage years so it didn't really register on my young brain. However as I am reminded of it now, knowing what Emily went through--then and in the following time after Max was born...oh, what a great God we serve! He truly uses the weak and the meek for His glory. Thank you, Emily, for sharing what great things He has done!
2 reviews
January 25, 2018
Just as Max himself is gift, this book is a gift to all who read it. It is a story of perseverance, patience, character and hope. Above all, it is a story of love -- a mother's unconditional, sacrificial, ever-present love for her son. Oh how wonderful it would be if a sequel was written someday - "Soaring with Mom" by Max --from his perspective, on how his Mom changed his world for God's glory. Emily Colson, thank you for sharing your story so boldly, poignantly, and faithfully!
Profile Image for Michelle Ule.
Author 16 books110 followers
March 10, 2019
I've heard about this book for years and appreciated finally getting a chance to read it.

Beautifully written by an artist, Emily Colson shares her love for her son with Asperger's and the creative ways she came up with to communicate with him.

I had several questions as I went along--was she able to work to support herself and her son?--and I thought the story ended abruptly, but I enjoyed it.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 141 reviews

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