Anti-Bride Etiquette Guide: The Rules And How to Bend Them

by Carolyn Gerin, Kathleen Hughes

Following the best-selling Anti-Bride Guide and Bridesmaid's Guide down the aisle comes the essential, smart, and sassy etiquette guide for the not-so-traditional bride. This feisty and straightforward advice book fills a huge gap in the wedding etiquette market. A riot to read and packed with bold illustrations, it walks the bride through everything from invitations and seating arrangements to money matters and family feuds. Whether fielding classic conundrumswho pays for whator decidedly modern situationsthe maid of honor is a manAnti-Bride Etiquette Guide offers sensitive advice for skillfully navigating the rough spots. Inventive solutions for dodging outmoded traditions ensure that brides will keep everyone from grooms to grandmothers happy. For the bride who doesn't want to sacrifice the wedding of her dreams or her loved ones' feelings, Anti-Bride Etiquette Guide has the answers.

Genres: Nonfiction, Reference, Marriage

144 pages, Paperback

First published December 2, 2004

Reviews

[Susie · Rating 5 out of 5]

i just got engaged, and being a totally not-girly-girl who never planned on getting married, I know nothing about weddings. Really, nothing - I didn't even know what an engagement ring looks like (and I've never previously owned a ring) but now that I'm engaged, I do know that my future-husband and I want to do something small & artsy & independently spirited without offending the traditional people in both our families.

So, I picked this book up first and got the schooling of a lifetime. I think that pretty much every touchy wedding subject is covered here so it was the perfect place to start, before I had any 'set' ideas of what our wedding 'has' to be. I love the flair with which it's written and so many of the organizational ideas. I had checked this book out from the library but enjoyed it so much, and found it such a helpful resource, that I ended up buying a copy.

I think no matter what type of wedding you have, assuming you want the people in your life to be a part of it, this is a great place to start. Highlights for me were:
* Suggestions on how to come up with your guest list [particularly helpful since we're trying to keep it extremely small]
* Traditionally who pays for what (as well as the 'new'/real way things are done)
* What attendants do (like I said, I know nothing about weddings) and what you have to do for them in return - if you choose to have attendants
* Budget estimates
* Organization tips

really, the whole book was very helpful.

[Sandra · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book spends more time talking about the traditional "shoulds" than how to bend them. Also, there's a huge assumption that "tradition" is the same for everyone. People come from different cultural backgrounds, and there are huge regional variations in what is assumed. For example, where I grew up, it was a done thing to flat-out ask for money from your wedding guests (you put "Presentation Please" in the invitation, then everyone slips some cash in their wedding cards). My point being that claiming to specify "the rules" is not that useful because the rules depend on where you are. I got midway through this and realized it was just going to annoy me!

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was the first wedding-related book I bought, when my fiancé and I were talking about getting engaged. This etiquette guide lays out the traditions and the expectations surrounding weddings and then gives advice on "twisting without trauma." I didn't know what a lot of people might be expecting about weddings, and this was a great blueprint for us to figure out where we were as a couple, where our families were, and how to go ahead in our planning.

[Catherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

As far as bridal books go, this was pretty refreshing in its realism. It was also not overly sentimental and often pointed out that there are, in fact, difficult decisions to make and not every choice has a clear win. Obvious, to be sure, but especially helpful for partners facing irritating problems. The companion book on planning was also the most helpful as a starting point.

[sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Less helpful, but remarkably similar to, Emily Post, with awful pink and blue "hipster" illustrations that made me feel embarrassed to read it on the train.

[Carmen · Rating 2 out of 5]

this book is super helpful for any bride wanting to know the traditions and how to bend them. it explains the rules first so you can get aquainted with the tradition then explains how other brides (and you) can break them. --and how to get away with it leaving everyone else at peace (or close to it) with your decisions.

[Crystal · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book, essentially, lists the basic rules of traditional wedding etiquette and tells you which ones can be bent, broken, or still need to be followed. An excellent resource for those who wish to be respectful of tradition yet not be controlled by it.

I don't necessarily agree with everything in this book, but for the most part, it's fabulous.

[Samantha · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a quick and easy read. It had several specific suggestions for a variety of nontraditional situations. I didn't always agree with the author's opinions on etiquette, but I did enjoy all the interesting bits of trivia on "traditional" weddings and interesting ways to twist tradition.

[Melissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book doesn't appear to be anti at all. Its not really for the bride who wants to do things differently. The "twists" aren't twists at all they are just different ways to do the same things. *Yawn*

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty good, provided understanding and background information about wedding traditions and how to bend the rules around them.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is not just about bending the old rules: it really organizes succinctly old traditions of weddings. Handy!

[Rose · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty humorous and some good tips on making your wedding your style. A fun little gift from a friend. :)

[Jeska Dzwigalski · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just got engaged and this book has been super useful in helping me navigate the crazy amount of expectations and etiquette required to pull off the wedding our dreams <3

[Sb · Rating 2 out of 5]

Couldn't entirely finish it, but read most of it. It was very useful, but slightly boring.

[Jamz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Repetitive and like its sister books.

[Tifferz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has many great tips and is short and simple and to the point unlike other books where it seems to never end. highly recommend to a new bride

[Mairi · Rating 1 out of 5]

I learned more about traditional weddings than anything else - and this book makes some comments I found just plain judgmental or critical - no one wants to hear that their idea/dreams are passé!

[Amber the Human · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good, quick read. Many things I knew, but some have been helpful already.