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George Washington's Rules Of Civility Traced To Their Sources And Restored
Among the manuscript books of George Washington, preserved in the State Archives at Washington City, the earliest bears the date, written in it by himself, 1745. Washington was born February 11, 1731 O. S., so that while writing in this book he was either near the close of his fourteenth, or in his fifteenth, year. It is entitled "Forms of Writing," has thirty folio pages, and the contents, all in his boyish handwriting, are sufficiently curious. Amid copied forms of exchange, bonds, receipts, sales, and similar exercises, occasionally, in ornate penmanship, there are poetic selections, among them lines of a religious tone on "True Happiness." But the great interest of the book centres in the pages headed: "Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation." The book had been gnawed at the bottom by Mount Vernon mice, before it reached the State Archives, and nine of the 110 Rules have thus suffered, the sense of several being lost...
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First published January 1, 1890
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About the author
Moncure Daniel Conway
430 books11 followersMoncure Daniel Conway was an American abolitionist minister. At various times Methodist, Unitarian, and a Freethinker, the radical writer descended from patriotic and patrician families of Virginia and Maryland but spent most of the final four decades of his life abroad in England and France, where he wrote biographies of Edmund Randolph, Nathaniel Hawthorne and Thomas Paine and his own autobiography. He led freethinkers in London's South Place Chapel, now Conway Hall.
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
February 19, 2013
Found among George Washington’s manuscripts was a little book he wrote in from about the age of 14 to 15. Conway’s book is a scholarly look at an excerpt from a section of the manuscript titled "Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation.” Conway gives a little background context and some commentary. He includes excerpts from French and Latin works from which these rules are believed to be primarily derived, along with speculation such as whether Washington was working under an instructor, as he did not know French and there is an uncharacteristic use of abbreviations, etc. I focused mainly on the rules Washington had written out.
Some of these rules are antiquated. Many have to do with observing rank, such as who should walk closest to the street, what to do when someone of higher or lower rank enters in the middle of a conversation, etc. Some are downright hilarious and many are just as applicable today.
Civility is unfortunately becoming a lost quality and something not readily sought after. In my mind’s eye, I see a young George Washington pondering and recording these instructions, much like a 14 year old today would be thinking about which utensils to use if they were going to a very formal dinner.
Here are several that I took notice of, in random order--
Do not seek amusement in singing to yourself, unless beyound the hearing of others, not drum with your hands or feet.
Have a great regard for the cleanliness of your hands, but do not be finikin about it.
Take no pleasure in examining curiously defects or blemishes, although natural, especially if they be in the face, nor enquire what they proceed from....
Jesting must be avoided when it is out of season....never laugh at the misfortunes of others, although they seem in some sort laughable.
Put not off your cloths in the presence of Others, nor go out of your Chamber half Drest.
When you go to see any sick person do not immediately act the physician if you are not experienced in that science.
Shake not the head, Feet, or Legs rowl not the Eys, lift not one eyebrow higher than the other wry not the mouth, and bedew no mans face with your Spittle, by approaching too near when you Speak.
Do not flatter or wheedle any one with fair words, for he who aspires to gain another person by his honied words shows that he does not hold him in high esteem and that he deems him far from sensible or clever, in taking him for a man who may be tricked in this manner....Do not play practical jokes on those who do not like it.
Reproach none for their infirmities—avoid it equally when they are natural ones—and do not take pleasure in uttering words that cause any one shame, whoever it may be.
Do not express Joy before one sick or in pain for that contrary Passion will aggravate his Misery.
...if you Deliver anything witty and Pleasent abtain from Laughing thereat yourself.
Wear not your Cloths, foul, unript or Dusty but See they be Brushe’d....Do not carry your cloak over your arm after the manner of swaggerers.
Do not set to eating even in the house out of meal-times; at least abstain from it in the presence of others.
If you wish to pass as genteel, always go with well-bred people; if you cannot get the chance, --from not knowing any, or any other reason,--it is always better to go alone than in bad company.
When talking with learned and clever men, do not introduce trifles, and do not bring forward too advanced conversation before ignorant people which they cannot understand nor easily believe...Do not speak of things out of place, or of such as may shock your hearers. At banquets and on days of rejoicing do not bring up sorrowful news or accounts of sad calamities, no filth, nothing improper, nothing afflicting.
NEVER RELATE YOUR DREAMS except to your confidants...
Take care not to speak ill of any one or to gossip of others people’s affairs.
Never give your advice on matters when it has not been asked.....
Do not be the censor and judge of other peoples’ faults....
Abstain from drawing comparisons between different persons.....For all comparisons are odious.
Being seated at the table, do not scratch yourself, and if you can help it, do not spit, cough, or blow your nose
Labour to keep alive in your Breast that Little Spark of Celestial fire called Conscience.
Some of these rules are antiquated. Many have to do with observing rank, such as who should walk closest to the street, what to do when someone of higher or lower rank enters in the middle of a conversation, etc. Some are downright hilarious and many are just as applicable today.
Civility is unfortunately becoming a lost quality and something not readily sought after. In my mind’s eye, I see a young George Washington pondering and recording these instructions, much like a 14 year old today would be thinking about which utensils to use if they were going to a very formal dinner.
Here are several that I took notice of, in random order--
Do not seek amusement in singing to yourself, unless beyound the hearing of others, not drum with your hands or feet.
Have a great regard for the cleanliness of your hands, but do not be finikin about it.
Take no pleasure in examining curiously defects or blemishes, although natural, especially if they be in the face, nor enquire what they proceed from....
Jesting must be avoided when it is out of season....never laugh at the misfortunes of others, although they seem in some sort laughable.
Put not off your cloths in the presence of Others, nor go out of your Chamber half Drest.
When you go to see any sick person do not immediately act the physician if you are not experienced in that science.
Shake not the head, Feet, or Legs rowl not the Eys, lift not one eyebrow higher than the other wry not the mouth, and bedew no mans face with your Spittle, by approaching too near when you Speak.
Do not flatter or wheedle any one with fair words, for he who aspires to gain another person by his honied words shows that he does not hold him in high esteem and that he deems him far from sensible or clever, in taking him for a man who may be tricked in this manner....Do not play practical jokes on those who do not like it.
Reproach none for their infirmities—avoid it equally when they are natural ones—and do not take pleasure in uttering words that cause any one shame, whoever it may be.
Do not express Joy before one sick or in pain for that contrary Passion will aggravate his Misery.
...if you Deliver anything witty and Pleasent abtain from Laughing thereat yourself.
Wear not your Cloths, foul, unript or Dusty but See they be Brushe’d....Do not carry your cloak over your arm after the manner of swaggerers.
Do not set to eating even in the house out of meal-times; at least abstain from it in the presence of others.
If you wish to pass as genteel, always go with well-bred people; if you cannot get the chance, --from not knowing any, or any other reason,--it is always better to go alone than in bad company.
When talking with learned and clever men, do not introduce trifles, and do not bring forward too advanced conversation before ignorant people which they cannot understand nor easily believe...Do not speak of things out of place, or of such as may shock your hearers. At banquets and on days of rejoicing do not bring up sorrowful news or accounts of sad calamities, no filth, nothing improper, nothing afflicting.
NEVER RELATE YOUR DREAMS except to your confidants...
Take care not to speak ill of any one or to gossip of others people’s affairs.
Never give your advice on matters when it has not been asked.....
Do not be the censor and judge of other peoples’ faults....
Abstain from drawing comparisons between different persons.....For all comparisons are odious.
Being seated at the table, do not scratch yourself, and if you can help it, do not spit, cough, or blow your nose
Labour to keep alive in your Breast that Little Spark of Celestial fire called Conscience.
January 31, 2012
This is a collection of sayings which George Washington copied as a schoolboy. The origins of some of these rules of conduct, or civility, go back into the 1600s. Many of these things have been lost on the modern culture and some should be revived.
These rules are those which Washington himself strove to abide by and keep. They speak volumes of his character, and the characters of the other great fathers of our country. If we were to heed the advice of these rules, the world might be a slightly better place and we might gain some of our patriotism back.
This is a fairly short read, and best of all, it is a public domain work and can be found for free for almost any device and in many formats.
No American has an excuse for not reading this. Although some of the rules may seem dated, many are still important to be upheld in society today but, sadly, are not.
These rules are those which Washington himself strove to abide by and keep. They speak volumes of his character, and the characters of the other great fathers of our country. If we were to heed the advice of these rules, the world might be a slightly better place and we might gain some of our patriotism back.
This is a fairly short read, and best of all, it is a public domain work and can be found for free for almost any device and in many formats.
No American has an excuse for not reading this. Although some of the rules may seem dated, many are still important to be upheld in society today but, sadly, are not.
August 28, 2013
Much of this is antiquated, but the message of many of the rules is still pertinent today. It was special to read most of this in historic Boston.
May 18, 2024
This is a fun little book. Read your favorite rules out loud to your company, friends, and family. Be sure and use an old English drawl. That said, almost all of the rules are still valid today, old George really knew what he was talking about, it turns out.
December 16, 2011
Every action done in company ought to be with some sign of respect to those that are present.
I like how this begins. Then, we find a french saying that Washington apparently translated from. Strangely, we have another translation in english after the french:
All actions done before others should be with some sign of respectful feeling to the entire company.
I've included them both because I appreciate the nuances of difference.
My attitude about etiquette shifted as I pondered this first point. Rather than being some set of rules for one to succeed in social situations, I see now the study and practice of these rules of civility as a means for expressing loving-kindess, or respect, in various situations. And, since I'm learning these rules from the well-esteemed General and first President so foundational to the establishment of our great nation, I like to think I'm learning to be truly patriotic.
February 4, 2012
I thought this would be a short list of the rules but the author provides background into the sources of these rules including ones in French. It went on and on forever. The rules were buried at the end. Some were interesting but a few I didn't agree with.
January 21, 2013
In an age where manners seem to be going by the wayside, it was nice to read Washington's "Rules" and be reminded of how I was raised.
October 27, 2017
This little book is a must have. It is the best layout of GW's rules I have seen. Easy and quick to read, which is good because this is a book everyone should read 6 times a year.
December 8, 2022
🖊 My review: This fascinating book is a compilation of George Washington’s handwritten book of manners and comportment. Historians believe that “while writing in this book he (Washington) was either near the close of his fourteenth, or in his fifteenth, year.” Moreover, historians believe that Washington wrote these as part of his school lessons. The first part of this book explains this. Reading this book is worth the time.
🔥 Dénouement: Even.
🔻 Genre: History; self-improvement
✔️Published in 1890 (after George Washington in the 1740s.
💠 Setting: n/a
👁 Point of view: n/a
🖋 The writing style: Intelligent.
🗝 What I learned: Washington was not the best speller, but he got his point across.
💫 What I like best: The history of this.
📌 Would I read this again? Why, yes.
🤔 My rating 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
◼️ Fun fact: Washington saved this book; it was found among his effects.
🟢 Media form: Project Gutenberg.
🟣 Media form: Kindle version.
🔲 Excerpts :
🔥 Dénouement: Even.
🔻 Genre: History; self-improvement
✔️Published in 1890 (after George Washington in the 1740s.
💠 Setting: n/a
👁 Point of view: n/a
🖋 The writing style: Intelligent.
🗝 What I learned: Washington was not the best speller, but he got his point across.
💫 What I like best: The history of this.
📌 Would I read this again? Why, yes.
🤔 My rating 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
◼️ Fun fact: Washington saved this book; it was found among his effects.
🟢 Media form: Project Gutenberg.
🟣 Media form: Kindle version.
🔲 Excerpts :
🔸 Here then are rules of conduct, taught, if my theory be correct, by a French protestant pilgrim, unknown to fame, in the New World. They were taught to a small school of girls and boys, [including Washington] in a town of hardly a hundred inhabitants. They are maxims partly ethical, but mainly relate to manners and civility; they are wise, gentle, and true.
🔸 As to the faults, where Hawkins says ceremonies "are too troublesome," Washington says they "is troublesome;" where the former translates correctly that one must not approach where "another readeth a letter," Washington has "is writing a letter;" where he writes "infirmityes" Washington has "Infirmaties;" the printed "manful" becomes "manfull," and "courtesy" "curtesie."
🔸 "if you Deliver anything witty and Pleasent abtain from laughing thereat yourself." Yet how curt is the version last quoted, and how blundering the sentence! Washington's spelling was always faulty, but it is not characteristic of him to write "abtain" for "abstain." This is one of many signs of haste, suggesting that his pen was following oral instruction.Entry example:
🔸 16th. Do not puff up the Cheeks, Loll not out the tongue rub the Hands, or beard, thrust out the lips, or bite them or keep the lips too open or too close. Chapter ii. 26. C'est une vilainie de s'enfler les joües, de tirer la langue, de se manier la barbe, se frotter les mains, d'estendre ses levres ou les mordre, de les tenir trop serrées ou trop entrouuertes. It is very low to puff out the cheeks, to put out the tongue, to pull one's beard, rub one's hands, poke out or bite the lips, or to keep them too tightly closed or too open.
🔸54th. Play not the Peacock, looking everywhere about you, to See if you be well Deck't, if your Shoes fit well if your Stockings Sit neatly, and Cloths handsomely. Chapter vi. 2. Ne vous amusez pas à vous quarer comme vn Paon, & regarder superbement autour de vous, si vous estes bien mis, & bien chaussé, si vos hauts-dechausses & vos autres habits vous sont bienfaits. Ne sortez point de vostre chãbre, portant vostre plume à vostre bouche, ou sur vostre aureille. Ne vous amusez pas à mettre des fleurs à vos aureilles, à vostre bonnet, ou à vostre chappeau. Ne tenez point vostre mouchoir à la main, ou pendu à vostre bouche, ny à vostre ceinture, ny sous vostre aiselle, ny sur vostre espaule, ou caché sous vostre robbe. Mettez-le en lieu d'où il ne puisse être veu, & il puisse estre toutesfois cõmodément tiré, dez qu'il en sera besoin. Ne le presentez iamais à personne, s'il n'est tout blanc, ou presque pas deployé. Do not delight in strutting like a peacock, or look proudly around to see if you are well decked, if your breeches and other clothes fit well. Do not leave your room carrying your pen in your mouth or behind your ear. Do not indulge yourself by putting flowers in your ears, cap, or hat. Do not hold your pocket-handkerchief in your hand, hanging from your mouth, at your girdle, under your armpit, on your shoulder, or stuffed under your coat. Put it in some place where it cannot be seen, but from whence you may easily draw it when you want it. Never offer it to anybody unless it be quite clean, or hardly unfolded.
March 15, 2022
Any book that encourages kindness and thoughtfulness gets 5 stars from me. A lovely bit of history.
Probably about 20% outdated (who bows nowadays?) but the rest remains useful... - pb
NF, HX, French Etiquette Manual 1595, Maxims, Advice, Handwriting Exercise, Schoolboy, George Washington, 1890, Public Domain, Free E-Book, Gutenberg.org
Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour In Company and Conversation is the name of a 110-item list best known as a school writing exercise of George Washington, who became the first president of the United States of America.
Most of the rules have been traced to a French etiquette manual written by Jesuits in 1595.
As a handwriting exercise Washington merely copied word-for-word Francis Hawkins' translation which was published in England in about 1640. - wiki
Probably about 20% outdated (who bows nowadays?) but the rest remains useful... - pb
NF, HX, French Etiquette Manual 1595, Maxims, Advice, Handwriting Exercise, Schoolboy, George Washington, 1890, Public Domain, Free E-Book, Gutenberg.org
Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour In Company and Conversation is the name of a 110-item list best known as a school writing exercise of George Washington, who became the first president of the United States of America.
Most of the rules have been traced to a French etiquette manual written by Jesuits in 1595.
As a handwriting exercise Washington merely copied word-for-word Francis Hawkins' translation which was published in England in about 1640. - wiki
October 12, 2024
My son and I read this book after we toured the Historic Jamestown Settlement (“the birthplace of America”) and Yorktown, Virginia. I agreed, overall, with all but two of George’s codes. Most were basic good manners, respect for others, and common sense.
It’s super short, but I think it’s GREAT for 4th grade Social Studies! The 4th grade students of ours should have a look at some of the codes, interpret them into modern day language and see if they still apply.
It’s super short, but I think it’s GREAT for 4th grade Social Studies! The 4th grade students of ours should have a look at some of the codes, interpret them into modern day language and see if they still apply.
December 26, 2017
Mentioned in the book The Longest Year by Stan Crader. So good to read the words of a great man before he became the "father of our country". Young people today should study his life. We would be in a different and better place in America if we made heroes of the likes of George Washington instead of worshiping sports and pop culture figures.
December 28, 2023
George Washington may have been onto something when he copied these list of rules as a teenager. While the customs and reasonings behind some of these rules no longer apply, the message is still the same: good manners and conduct never go out of style.
June 20, 2025
A simple collection of the rules of etiquette Washington (apparently?) held himself to? There is of course no evidence of that this is true - the introduction makes clear that the text is found from his copying an earlier handbook of civility. Whimsical nevertheless.
January 9, 2018
A short, simple favorite of mine...
February 13, 2018
This book is awesome! Some of the rules are truly hilarious. Fun to read proper etiquette from back in the day. Plus, George Washington.
November 18, 2019
Good rules to be a good person in company . If we want to be a perfect leader to lead the people we must incorporate all these rules in ourselves..
March 18, 2020
Very useful for formal situations. I believe that everyone would be better for reading this, even if they don't utilize it in practice.
July 16, 2022
I did not read from cover to cover, just highlights.
September 2, 2025
Trump needs to read this book!
July 20, 2021
I think this was a great book. this was a easy read but it held alot of great information on how to be a person with manners and how to hold oneself in public. I think this is a great book to have to learn how to really be able to hold oneself in social circles, how to hold oneself at table and how to well live in a way to avoid a few awkward moments.
and the cool part was that it was with president George washington when he was around a teenager. this is what he had learned and had to apply to his life. look at where he wound up.
and the cool part was that it was with president George washington when he was around a teenager. this is what he had learned and had to apply to his life. look at where he wound up.
August 28, 2018
Saffron 2015
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews