The Rhinestone Sisterhood: A Journey Through Small Town America, One Tiara at a Time

by David Valdes Greenwood

Ride a bull. Chat up a Senator. And get your homework in on time. It’s all in a day’s work for a festival queen.

If you assume all pageant queens are airheads who can’t handle geography, or vain girls who like to parade around in bathing suits, then welcome to the alternative universe of America’s festival queens. With titles like Catfish Queen and Swine Queen, and royal duties ranging from leading parades to kissing frogs to doing PR for local industries, these hardworking girls represent the best of what America has to offer: local cultures, unique traditions, and the kind of can-do community spirit that makes Main Street sparkle with promise.

The Rhinestone Sisterhood takes us deep into the world of small-town festival queens to capture the true story of four “sisters of the sash”—the Frog, Fur, Cotton, and Cattle Queens of Louisiana—and their quest to win the ultimate crown, Queen of Queens. Traveling across the state, David Valdes Greenwood introduces us to local queens with lives full of public speaking, pig chases, and pageant politics. We ride with the girls during their one-year reign, where families and boyfriends can be as complicated as judge’s panels, and a queen’s dreams may be at the mercy of a Category 4 hurricane.

High-spirited yet down-home, suspenseful and genuinely moving, The Rhinestone Sisterhood is, at heart, a story of female friendship and rivalry, of triumph and disappointment—not to mention a Frog Queen who just wouldn’t quit. Anyone who has ever wanted to be a princess will feel right at home.

Genres: Nonfiction

304 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2010

About the author

David Valdes Greenwood is the author of two memoirs, Homo Domesticus and A Little Fruitcake, and the new narrative nonfiction book The Rhinestone Sisterhood. As a playwright, his work has been staged coast to coast and in the UK. A former freelance journalist, Valdes Greenwood is best known for his Boston Globe columns.

Reviews

[Anne Milford · Rating 4 out of 5]

I genuinely enjoyed this book. I have a friend from college who was the Strawberry Queen and I had no idea what this was all about. It was really heartwarming how conscientious these festival queens were. It wasn't about beauty...it was about public service, and doing the best job possible promoting your town/industry. Really great stuff.

I also loved the author's voice. Everyone needs a gay best friend and David Greenwood would be a great one. His wry, funny, and spot-on observations about small town life were thoroughly entertaining. I also appreciated the fact that he was not mean, snotty or condescending about a single aspect of this book. It is so easy to be snarky. Greenwood had a genuine appreciation and affection for the girls, the small towns, and what being a festival queen means. A sweet, uplifting book that will make you smile.

[Y · Rating 5 out of 5]

As one of the queens having a minor feature in the book, Greenwood adequately depicts the life of a Festival queen. The author chose to immerse himself in the world of Louisiana Fairs and Festivals to gain a true understanding of the "pageant world." He did not make assumptions nor try to create a glitzy "Toddlers and Tiaras" docudrama. He showed the highs and lows of pageant life with gratifying victories and sometimes heartbreaking defeats but accurately showed that no matter what we are a "sisterhood" of strong young women who want to keep the Louisiana tradition of local/historic festivals thriving.

[Vicki · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are four kinds of pageants: festival, civic, scholarship, and glitz. The most familiar to us are Miss America and Miss USA, which are considered “scholarship” pageants. The other pageants many have become familiar with are the “glitz” ones with titles like Miss Super Cutie. The Rhinestone Sisterhood takes us for an inside look at the world of festival queens, focusing on four: the Frog, Fur, Cotton and Cattle Queens of Louisiana. These hard-working young women juggle school, jobs, and public relations responsibilities promoting their festivals and local industries. They lead parades, chase greased pigs, kiss frogs, feed calves, and eat all manner of local foods. In the case of the Fur Queen, who represents an area devastated by recent hurricanes, she takes some of her “sisters of the sash” on a tour of Cameron Parish to see the damage firsthand.

The Rhinestone Sisterhood is a highly entertaining, fast-paced read, filled with suspense and laughter, disappointment and triumph. You will never look at pageant queens in quite the same way!

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this to be a really interesting book. I think I just might have to move south and start competing! The Rhinestone Sisterhood would make a great movie.

[ModCloth · Rating 4 out of 5]

What do crayfish, church buggies, and a Bayou Christmas have in common? All are things you could be Queen of in the state of Louisiana. Regions across the country proudly tout their specialties through annual festivals and fairs, along the way appointing ambitious young ambassadors to spread their holy gospel — be it of yams or catfish. Think you can handle the duties that come with the highly sought-after title of Swine Queen? After reading David Valdes Greenwood’s new book, The Rhinestone Sisterhood: A Journey Through Small-Town America, One Tiara at a Time (May 2010; Crown Publishing), you’ll be thinking again.

With over 130 festivals annually, Louisiana loves its celebrations — and its Queens. But these are hardly bikini-wearing, mechanical-answering, perfect-bodied women. There’s Frog Queen Chelsea — the five-foot pixie who knows how to pose with Kermit while handling the possibility that he might just pee on her; Kristen, the confident Cattle Queen who has ambitions of getting her PhD in psychology; Lauren, the vivacious Fur Queen whose duties help distract her from her parents’ recent divorce and sister’s hospitalization; and Brandi, the quiet Queen Cotton, who despite fluctuating weight and self-confidence has overcome her struggle to become seasoned festival royalty.

As they negotiate their time during the week among full-time jobs, college classes, on-again/off-again boyfriends, and family, their weekends are spent bouncing throughout the state acting as spokeswomen at neighboring festivals — duties which may include milking cows, sporting a homemade potato sack ensemble, sitting atop a parade float for two hours in the Louisiana’s summer heat, or wrestling a Vaseline-covered pig to the ground.

Valdez Greenwood takes us through a year in the life of a festival queen — from Chelsea’s win at Frog to the state’s grand event — the Queen of Queens pageant. Despite an initial opinion that this book is all sunshine sparkling off rhinestones, Valdes Greenwood proves life atop the parade float isn’t so easy. Being Queen doesn’t make you immune to the universal consequences that come with underage drinking or crippling migraines. But as if that isn’t enough, there’s mean-spirited internet message boards gossiping about how you probably rigged the whole thing. What if the town that hosts your festival barely exists after a devastating hurricane? You might even have a stalker.

Full of vibrant and strong-willed characters, The Rhinestone Sisterhood takes you on a boisterous ride through high-spirited communities, local tradition, and the pride and perils of life as a Queen. While at times the glitter may seem to spill off the page, in the moment, you can’t help but be delighted by it, as Valdes Greenwood has made you fall completely for these girls. He artfully navigates the space between being too close and too distant to his subjects, giving the reader just the right view of the narrative, while still intertwining moments of festival history and pageant politics. This charming portrait of small town life through its young women might just encourage a trip to next year’s Giant Omelette Celebration. - Sarah, Fashion Writer

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[Helena · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked this up from the library at random--I was curious about the title and decided to take it home. After all, I get to give it back, so what's the harm?

In a nutshell, the book follows four girls, who become the Frog, Fur, Cotton, and Cattle Queens. (Our local Strawberry Festival has a queen and attendant royalty, so it was kind of interesting to learn about this kind of thing--even though the book deals only with Louisiana festivals, I'm sure they're similar.) There are the expected pageants and requisite drama, but also some funny moments--pig chasing, frog kissing, and bull riding (see the cover of the book--that's the Cattle Queen and Mr. Puzzles, I believe).

It ended up being a more enjoyable read than I expected, and a quick one. I would liken it to the reality shows I occasionally watch (Clean House, anyone?)--a guilty pleasure that I don't need to indulge in all the time, but fun in small doses. I wouldn't buy it, but if you see it at your library, consider picking it up.

[Liz · Rating 2 out of 5]

Okay, so after my brief outburst of hatred for this book I decided to go back and attempt to finish it. The day I threw it across the room was a bad day and I think the plethora of Queens and drama was just all too much for me.

I wouldn't call this a ground breaking book by any means, but the subject matter is definitely interesting and certainly something I have never heard about. This is a whole different world of pageants from those you see on tv with the crying children and scary wigs. Yes... there are some moments like that, but it is definitely a different experience. The drama is much the same and you hear about it, a lot! But you do get to know a little about these girls lives and feel for their trials and tribulations while being impressed by the amount of effort they put into representing their town.

There is something mysterious and magical to me about small towns... perhaps because I have never actually been a part of one. It is a whole new world to me...

[Denise · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not all beauty pageants are "Toddlers and Tiaras"! These girls are beautiful and glamorous but also educated and intelligent.

I read this one because I have friends whose daughter's have held a title within our state. My closet friend, her daughter held our Sugar Queen title and place second in the state pageant which is an honor! She is bright, witty and a strong person. I know she will go far in life because of the amount of pageants and titles she's won. Her self esteem is amazing and she can capture an audience with just her smile!

As u read this, the author takes u on a journey thru our pageant system. Shows u the ins and outs, the beautiful side of it and the ugly side of it as well.

It was a very good read and for one little sentence stole my heart completely! Page 49, the author mentions my high school dance team, the Sugarettes, so he gets a BIG STAR for that one!!!!

[Ti · Rating 4 out of 5]

I must say that when I got this book (thank you ModCloth!!) I thought it was going to be boring. It wasn't. I enjoyed reading about this girls with normal lives that choose to represent their home town, their state and the economy that makes them strong. This girls are not (all) tall, blond and dumb. No, they know that acting like a queen is a full time job, besides their full time obligations like work, school, family and boyfriends. I was amazed and amused by their stories and I have to say that David Valdes' prose pulled me in utill I couldn't get out.

[Peggy · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's not exactly as wide-ranging as the subtitle implies, but as a portrait of small-town Louisiana festival queens, this book can't be beat. Valdes follows four girls who are both competitors and friends as they vie for various festival crowns: Frog Festival, Cotton Festival, Crawfish Festival,etc.. Valdes explores the importance of the festival queen both to the competitors and to the towns, particularly after the hurricane devastation of Ike, Rita, and Gustav. The book is engaging, honest, and positive, as any good festival queen should be.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Greenwood offers an entertaining look at small-town festival queens. These royals are not your stereotypical beauty queens; they kiss frogs, mount cattle, and chase pigs, all while wearing enormous tiaras and flashing winning smiles. Greenwood portrays festival queendom in a respectful manner, giving the reader an inside-look at the festival circuit. At times, the material seems too thin to warrant an entire book; however, it’s easy to get wrapped up in the quirky tradition of festival royalty.

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

This inoffensive little book follows four small-town pageant queens in Louisiana as they represent their parishes throughout the state. Nothing too deep here, but I enjoyed this look into this subset of American culture steeped in tradition and sequins. The book works well in large part because Mr. Greenwood was smart enough to stick to one central subject without throwing in unnecessary facts and analysis. Recommended.

[Miranda Landry · Rating 5 out of 5]

LOVED this book. it will forever document my daughter's year as petite cattle queen. we really enjoyed seeing David throughout the year as he followed Kristen and the other girls around while writing this book. my daughter will treasure this book, it mentions her several times by title. we found out in 2013 when my daughter represented the la cattle festival for the second time that Mr. puzzles ended up in the freezer not long after the cover photo was taken.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sociology lite...and I mean that in the best way!

A look inside the festival queen circuit in Louisiana, the book chronicles a season of down home festivals (Crawfish, Cotton, Rice, Yam, etcetera) and the women who "rule" them.

Who knew there were distinctions among festival, civic, scholarship, and "glitz" pageants?

[Kristen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I always like books that give me a window into a completely foreign world...this time it was the Louisiana local festival culture. Sometimes, I felt myself drifting while reading it, but overall I really enjoyed it as a quick, easy, and pretty interesting nonfiction read.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

I did not think I was going to enjoy this book at all. But you really can't help rooting for the girls, and Greenwood does a great job of depicting the real people and stories behind the pagents. A fun summer read.

[Thea · Rating 3 out of 5]

I admit I normally don't read these kind of books but...well I got it free. I was in one pegent and hated it...but I do give credit to anyone who does love the lifestyle. There is sooo much time and energy that goes into it.

[Ann · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an enjoyable read. It was an interesting, thoughtful and humorous look at a segment of American culture/lifestyle that I knew nothing about.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun and surprisingly well-written. That said, it could have been half as long and a Vanity Fair article and I would have been happier.

[Ellison · Rating 4 out of 5]

Follows a group of gals as they learn data about the industries that they will represent and their experiences, one of which results in a DUIO which has to be handled. Insightful, a world that I was unaware existed.

[Annie Bomke · Rating 5 out of 5]

A nuanced portrait of pageantry and small town life.  These womens' stories are depicted with great detail and care.  I found myself rooting for all of them.  A really special book.

[Morgan Landry · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was the 2008 petite Cattle Queen with the girl on the front cover while David was researching/writing this book. Now I'm 17 and was recently interviewed, due my participation in pageants still to this day, by a TV station in London trying to get the green light on making a documentary about the world of LAFF. I often think back about this book and am glad that I got to see where I was and how far I've come and to look back on things that I wasn't able to comprehend at the time. Thank you for documenting a portion of my childhood David! Even if I was hardly mentioned, it's still an honor to able to be part of the experience, and I hope this book continues to expose people to what festival queens truly do and how proud we are to not only represent our state's commodities, but it's culture and history.

[Rachael · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved it! I'm from Louisiana and knew about the festivals. I learned a lot about the difficulties of being a queen. It was a great read and Greenwood has such a way with words.

The only complaint I could have with it is that the stories of the girls get confusing. Their names are similar (Chelsi, Sarah, Brandi, etc.) but Greenwood reminds the reader of each girl's trials.

It's a great book and it really sucks you into it.

[chanceofbooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is what all great nonfiction should be: compelling, well organized, with a cohesive narrative that keeps readers turning the pages and engaged with the story matter. I usually have nothing but disdain for beauty pageants, but this book made me really reconsider my biases and root for these girls. It also reminded me of my roots in the Midwest and fond memories of the festivals.

[Dolores]

Absolutely the worst book I've ever read. Please, please, please don't bother. I kept asking myself as I was reading, "Why should I care?" and unfortunately by the end of the book the answer was clear, "You shouldn't." If this hadn't been a book club pick I would have never picked it up and it was all I could do not to heave it in my fireplace and be done with it.

[Tenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVED this book. I am fascinated by Southern culture and most specifically by the pageant culture...mainly because as a southern Californian, I just don't get it. The author did such a great job immersing himself into the culture as well as explaining it to an outsider. I would highly recommend!

[Lesley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Started off a little patronizing but you can tell the author was trying to ease us into accepting the world of pageantry as legit. I don't know if I completely buy it, but he did a fair job humanizing these girls and making their stories compelling. A lot of typos/errors.

[Hnewberg Newberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Compassionate look at an insular culture.

[Holly]

Heard a bit about it on A Splendid Table