Jailbait Zombie

Felix Gomez #4

by Mario Acevedo

Vampires versus Zombies, round one . . . Vampire detective Felix Gomez has seen a lot of weird things since becoming one of the undead—nymphomaniacs, aliens, and X-rated bloodsuckers, just to name a few—but now he comes face-to-face with the worst sort of undead. To stop a ravenous army of zombies, Gomez must team up with a precocious teen with clairvoyant powers whose cooperation comes at a price: she won't help unless Felix makes her a vampire . . . if the zombies don't get her first.

Genres: Urban Fantasy, Fantasy, Vampires, Paranormal, Zombies, Mystery, Horror

338 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

Born in El Paso, Texas and grew up in Las Cruces, New Mexico, but visited family in Chihuahua. Joined the US Army and flew attack helicopters.

Was artist-in-residence for Arte Americas in Fresno, California and served as a combat artist in Operation Desert Storm. Also teaches/taught art to prisoners at Avenal State Prison.

Reviews

[Mr. Matt · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was worried that I wouldn't be able to make it through these Felix Gomez books and then it happened. I sat there and realized I was headed towards the undead ultimate brawl - vampires verus zombies! Epic. Despite my growing fatigue with the snarky humor and mildly stale story lines I was hooked.

The vampire hierarchy orders Felix to investigate a zombie disturbance in rural Colorado. Something is causing zombies to pop up left and right in a small Colorado town. Gomez needs to dig up the root cause and end the outbreak before human civilization becomes aware of the supernatural community. His quest leads him to an insane mad genius doctor, a manipulative telepath with a terminal disease, a country kingpin, and more.

All of that is fun, but what really gets exciting are the intense zombie-vampire battles. Sure, one zombie on its own is no problem. You can out run it, you can out think it, heck, you can probably out fight it. One zombie on its own is no problem - especially for a vampire. Vampires are super strong, super fast, and can grow killing talons - all while soaking up insane amounts of damage. But how will a vampire fare against a horde of zombies?

Three and a half stars out of five, but rounded down to three. On the plus side you have zombie versus vampire action, but on the down side I'm just getting tired of these books.

[Olivia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Felix Gomez: not your mother's vampire. Actually, he's not like any vampire any of us have known. Plagued by his human self, his immortal self comes across as more human than vampire. His vampire self explores the dark places his human side hid exposing guilt, empathy, compassion, and a strong sense of justice wrapped up in a begrudging hero persona that he rarely admits to himself and denies to others. Sent on a mission to find out who is creating zombies and where a psychic pull is coming from Felix finds himself the champion of a troubled young girl who literally begs him to turn her. Fighting himself, and the zombies he tries his best to do the right thing, always, but there always seems to be a twist that forces him to do things he doesn't want to do. It's packed with action, gangsters, zombies, and temptation. I highly recommend reading it

[Bandit · Rating 2 out of 5]

Mario Acevedo seems to be an one on one off writer. With Felix Gomez series, #1 was decent, #2 was blah, #3 was entertaining and this book #4 was blah yet again. I'm not as a rule a fan of vampires or detective series (unless it's exceptional and this is far from it) or as with this series vampire detectives, so this was just something I read from time to time when I don't want to have to make a decision or think for a few hours. As with previous, this was a very quick read, but without Acevedo's humor, which for some reason comes and goes and with this book only makes appearance in one scene, the series just doesn't have much to offer.

[Robert · Rating 3 out of 5]

Even though the title implies zombie I placed this on my vampire shelf because this series is about Felix Gomez a vampire enforcer. Felix does go up against zombies, the other variety of the undead, in this episode. It seems zombies are real sloppy and may expose the supernatural world if not stopped so the Areneum, or vampire council, sends in Felix. This is a good series of books for those that like the Harry Dresden series by Jim Butcher as there are some similarities. I liked the book and the ending leads one to believe that the series will be continued.

[Ellie English · Rating 5 out of 5]

1 second summary -
Vampire Detective Felix has to figure out who is creating Zombies and stop them!

Review -
It's books like this that make me remember why I love reading so much!
What a fun, exciting and witty read!
So beautifully written with some cool as characters and gosh - the plot is LITERALLY OTHERWORDLY.
There was comedy, action, plot twists, badass characters and lots of supernatural occurrences!
Part of a series - but a nice standalone read too.

NB: Definitely intended for an older audience 18+

Gosh I don't how I can rave about this one more - best whim purchase! AND yes the others will be bumped up the TBR!!

Stay safe and if you are a vampire stay out of the sun, but regardless keep on reading,

Ellie

[C.T. Phipps · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jailbait Zombie is remarkably subdued for a story about Felix Gomez fighting the Italian mafia, trying to rescue a teenage psychic, and stopping a zombie apocalypse. It doesn't help that it comes off the massive cliffhanger of the previous book. The book also sets up a plotline that I didn't think much of. Its still an okay read but lacks the kind of utter insanity that I really liked in previous volumes. I'd say skip but it's impossible given the role of a character introduced here.

[Michael McGlinsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Felix's attitude is one simple reason to read this book. I like his character. The only issue I have with this is that Mario seems to think the us readers need to be constantly reminded that Felix has "vampire speed" or "Vampire strength". We already know that we are reading a story about a vampire so if he happens to run faster than the fat bad guy, we get it. lol
Read these books though. They're a lot of gory fun with lots of "Vampire Sex".

[Nicole Guy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had a little bit of a hard time getting through this book. I’m not sure if it’s because I have not read any of the other books about Felix or what. I did really enjoy the last 100 pages and was completely surprised by the ending with Phaedra but I’m not sure if it’s enough to read more of the series.

[Amethyst Shadow · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn't realize that this was a series. Eh It was still good as a stand alone book... however; I have a feeling that I will be requesting the rest of the books in the series. Felix is a pretty good character and since the series revolves around him, I'm good with it.

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's kind of weird to read a book only for the one-liners, but they are pretty amusing. The plot just gets you from one to another, and whenever he mentions a consumer product, it's usually pretty funny.

[Kevin Moore · Rating 3 out of 5]

I feel like the author stepped up his game for this entry. However I feel obligated to rate it lower because of the inclusion of a sexualized underage girl. There were a few lines that were uncomfortable to read.

Outside of that, it's a great entry to the series and full of laughs

[Kerry · Rating 3 out of 5]

Published 2009. Quirky, sometimes funny. A quick breezy read. About average plot.

[Peggy Harris · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book to be better than the 2nd and the 3rd. Whew. Marathon read of all 4 books....I have a 5th on the way and I think I'll be taking a break from this series for a bit.

[Jim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really good. This time around Felix has to take on a group of zombies.

[Jenna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is my first time reading Bizarro Horror and I gotta say I love it.
I’ll definitely be reading more in the nearby future.

[Roberto Junipero Jaquez · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun, action packed, adrenaline rush of a book.

[Richard Lujan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fun read! After a while reading you are sucked into the world of Zombies and Vampires.There is never a dull moment with Detective Felix antics.

[Yael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Felix Gomez is a vampire. He got his start among the Undead in Iraq, where he was serving with the US Army. After unwittingly killing an innocent Iraqi family, thinking they were terrorists, and having the rest of his group wiped out by enemy attack immediately afterward, he fled into a building, huddling there alone as he tried to deal with what he had just caused -- and discovered that he was sharing the room with an ancient Iraqi vampire. When he emerged from hiding, he, too, was a vampire, turned by the older vampire. Upon his return to the States, he became a private investigator, using his supernatural powers to solve cases that challenged the best of ordinary mortals.

In The Nymphos of Rocky Flats, Book 1 of the saga of Felix Gomez, Felix investigated an outbreak of nymphomania among the female employees of female guards at a plutonium processing plant in Colorado, and discovered that ETs have been among us for some time. Trained assassins began murdering members of the local vampire community, and an amorous dryad appeared to help Felix solve the case. And Felix did solve the case, in one of the great adventure stories of today.

In X-Rated Bloodsuckers, Book 2 of the series, Felix discovered a plot among some of Hollywood's wealthiest and most powerful producers that threatened to overturn the delicate balance between humanity and the supernatural world. In The Undead Kama Sutra, Book 3 of the series, a dying alien tells the vampire PI to find Goodman and save the Earth women. Felix does his best, but loses the love of his life -- er, death -- in the process. Now, in Jailbait Zombie, Book 4 of the series, Felix has to stop a ravening army of zombies and their demented maker from exposing the secret of the Undead to the world.

Teaming up with Phaedra, the 16-year-old niece of an organized crime boss, who is dying of Huntington's Chorea, but, in compensation, has unbelievably powerful clairvoyant powers, Felix gamely sets out to try to fulfill the orders given to him by the Araneum, the covert vampire government that works tirelessly to keep ordinary humanity from discovering that the Undead are very, very real. Felix finds himself caught between making war on the zombies and trying to keep Phaedra alive. Ultimately he succeeds at the first task. But Phaedra stops a spear hurled by one of the zombies during the battle that takes the zombies down, and to save her Felix has to turn her into a vampire, as well. As a result, he may have loosed a far worse peril on the world than the zombies could ever have been.

I love this series. Unlike so much vampire fiction, these novels show us the day-to-day problems and triumphs of individuals who may have all the supernatural powers of the Undead, but who also can be just as stupid, klutzy, mean-spirited, and otherwise heir to all the sins of humanity as ordinary mortals. Felix himself is a working man who has to deal with the rough underbelly of the world, without the romantic aura of so many fictional male vampires. He gets horny, loves good food (albeit with a good splash of type B+ as sauce), despises the truly corrupt, and manages to trip over his own feet in a huge way at least a couple of times per novel. In short, he is everyman, however equipped with fangs and talons he may be, and it is all too easy to identify with him. And the same is true of the other vampires that share his world: they're people, whatever they think of their relationship to humanity, and have all the ordinary foibles and failings of humanity to go with their admittedly great and scary powers.

Acevedo has a gift for writing stories that grab you right away, carry you right along to the end, and leave you panting for more. In Jailbait Zombie, that gift is so evident that it actually makes reading the novel a painful experience: the villain, the madman who has created an army of zombies, is a sadistic megalomaniac who at one point puts poor Felix through hell on Earth, torturing him with electrical current, after he manages to capture Felix by siccing his zombies on the detective. It hurt to continue reading -- and I couldn't put the book down. Now that's a storyteller!

[Thomas · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm not sure if Mario Acevedo set out to make it difficult to find images of his book covers by running the titles through Google search, but with The Undead Kama Sutra and now Jailbait Zombie, I can say with certainty that you'll get distracted by the other results you get. I guess what I'm saying is make sure you have Safe Search on if you try such a thing.

Anyway, with Jailbait Zombie, Acevedo moves further away from the titles of his books having anything to do with the actual story. A jailbait zombie is mentioned, but only in passing, and it never comes to fruition. Instead, the story is about Felix chasing after zombies while also trying to figure out the source of his hallucinations about the family he accidentally killed in Iraq and why a local girl was so strange.

The story was OK, but nothing great by any means. It's well-paced and is as compelling as The Undead Kama Sutra, but it wasn't a very satisfactory story. The characters seemed two-dimensional and had motivations that flopped around based on where the story was going. Even Felix flip-flopped about, though in at least one case it was somewhat justified. I think the previous book was like that too, only I just didn't notice it until I was reading this one.

I'm still concerned about Acevedo's portrayal of women. In one scene, Felix goes to visit the ex-girlfriend of a suspect, who he's already learned moved around a lot, and dabbled in making meth. When he finally meets the ex-girlfriend, and reveals who he's looking for, the woman has some choice words for her ex-boyfriend and slams the door in Felix's face. His response is to call her a harpy. Later he encounters a woman who is just ill-tempered and he calls her a shrew, but in the first instance, I don't even see how he could justify that kind of remark, unless he's supposed to be a character who has a complete disregard for other people's situations. Given how he reacts to Phaedra, the troubled teen, and the fact that he's supposed to be a sympathetic character proves otherwise.

I only have one left book to go to finish out this series, and I already have the book, but if I didn't, I don't think I would bother with it. I remember the first two books being fun, light, silly romps, but the last two have just been overdone, and both of them have ended with very little resolved, and two major plot points that aren't concluded. The fifth book might cover some of these loose ends, but I thought that this one would cover some of the ones left untied at the end of The Undead Kama Sutra, and that didn't turn out to be true. As it is, though, I wouldn't recommend either of these books, and I probably need to rethink what I thought of the first two books, as well.

[Seth · Rating 3 out of 5]

This one's a pretty darn fun continuation of the series. It would work for people who haven't read the earlier ones, but if you want to skip some, starting at #2 is still the best bet (the back third of the first was pretty horrible).

The book before (The Undead Karma Sutra) ended on quite a cliff-hanger; that is still hanging throughout this book. Felix' failure in UKS is a shoe waiting to drop and he is pleased to be distracted by his current problem--an infestation of zombies threatening to blow the lid off the big secret and reveal the existence of the supernatural.

Since this is--apparently--a distraction from the plot that's been buiding up through the earlier books, it's a quick, fun action romp. Felix is doing his usual PI schtick, stuck between small-town gangsters, a mysterious necromancer, and a 16 year-old psychic with a terminal illness who wants him to make her immortal. And the Araneum isn't telling him everything that's going on and wants him to do some things that don't jive with him morals. And he has to wrap it up before Jolie, his occasional friend/lover/partner, comes into town and handles everything according to her, less gentle, morals.

In short, it's back to the good, old, simple days for Felix. Mystery, complications, and mayhem.

Enjoy it for that.


And fear not. Acevedo is growing as a writer with every book. The action is taughter, the humor is better (and less disruptive), Felix is in the middle of some character growth that would feel rushed if it ended in this book, and the long-term plot is definitely advanced. Little of it is explicit, but it's all clearly there and intentional, and what is explicated is saved for the end, after the fun romp.

So enjoy it. And hope the next one comes soon.

[Allen Garvin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Eh, ok modern vampires-in-real-world novel. This is my third Acevedo novel--all picked up at Half-Price Books. No way I'd pay cover price for these. Felix Gomez is a reasonably well-drawn character. He's got all the appropriate snark. The plots are over the top, of course--evidence from the titles. The sexual content is not nearly as great as is implied by the titles. Fine by me. I would have just flipped past those pages, probably.

The zombies of this novel are almost genuinely scary, in fact, in a couple scenes. Gomez's detective skills, though, show little promise, apart from his skill in hypnotising any human, at will, by looking at them eye-to-eye. Not that that is in the least useful here. In the end, he just gets kidnapped by the villain, after discovering basically NOTHING about the villain or his motives. After that, it's all just gimme--the villain reveals all his plans and motivations in a long (almost) monologue, none of which was even hinted at before. As a detective novel, it deserves zero stars.

I wouldn't recommend it to anyone looking for anything more than a very quick, irreverent afternoon read. But if approached from that angle, it satisfies its very limited purpose. Not worth keeping, either. I left it in the kitchen at work with a sign that read "free book".

[Kater Cheek · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is as hard boiled a noir thriller as you can get, with a dash of dark fantasy thrown in. Felix Gomez, who apparently has three other books behind him, is a vampire detective, at home with the paranormal and the gritty underworld both. The short chapters cut off right at the cliff, so the action keeps the story moving along quickly. The prose is extremely curt, which works well with this sort of story, but got a little grating at points. The sex and violence are both gratuitous, the latter more than the former. Be prepared for squick.
I read this differently than I'd read a lot of fiction, given that it was in the same subgenre that I write in. I loved some of the things he did with vampires, some of the teminology he chose. For example, calling humans they drink from "chalices," and having the dark spirit that animates them the kundilini noir. Don't know what that means, but it sounds pretty cool. I also like that the vampires have to take their contact lenses out in order to hypnotize someone, though the protaganist did it so often with dirty hands that I had sympathetic conjunctivitis. As usual, didn't like the near godlike powers the vampires had--I prefer heros to superheroes, but I seem to be in the minority.

[AuthorsOnTourLive! · Rating 5 out of 5]

We met Mario Acevedo when he visited the Tattered Cover Bookstore in Denver. You can listen to him talk about "Jailbait Zombie" here: http://www.authorsontourlive.com/?p=252

About this podcast:
Colorado author Mario Acevedo is a former infantry and aviation officer, engineer, art teacher to incarcerated felons, and the bestselling author of "The Nymphos of Rocky Flats," "X-Rated Bloodsuckers," and "The Undead Kama Sutra." Acevedo reads from and discusses his new novel "Jailbait Zombie," which finds vampire detective Felix Gomez coming face-to-face with the worst sort of undead. To stop a ravenous army of zombies, Gomez must team up with a precocious teen with clairvoyant powers whose cooperation comes at a price: she won’t help unless Felix makes her a vampire-if the zombies don’t get her first.

[Snapdragon · Rating 3 out of 5]

.More reviews like this one on my blog Snapdragon Alcove
I haven’t read the previous three books, so I don’t know much about the side characters. The story is not hard to follow. Mystery series are the best series to skip around in without missing anything. Since I miss some book, I don’t know the set up or the rules for this world.

Felix Gomez may seen a bit cowardly at times but, what happen to him in the past explains why the way he is. There are some funny moments throughout the story. The part with the mad scientist is the best part.

I like what is done with the world, just tossing in all these paranormal creature as well as aliens. Might as well. This remains me of the TV show the X-files. Only the main character is a vampire detective.

[Roswita · Rating 5 out of 5]

Felix Gomez is a private detective and a vampire. Because of his detecting skills, the vampire community's ruling body, the Araneum, sends him out on jobs for them. In Jailbait Zombie Felix is hunting, you guessed it, zombies. In the mean time, Felix has been getting flashbacks to the time when he was first turned, an issue he thought he had already come to terms with. All in all, Felix is in for a really rough case...

This is an excellent addition to the Felix Gomez series. Felix is tough and funny and, oddly enough (for a vampire) really caring. And because of that, you find yourself caring about what's happening to him. And believe me, a lot happens to him in this one! This series is definitely a keeper.

[Mandy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Maybe the male narrator just isn't for me, but I had a very hard time getting through this book. The story itself is interesting, but there seem to be times (particularly when the narrator is describing sex or sexual traits) when the style changes. The story will be going along and then out of the blue there is a sexual description that seems to have been written by a twelve year old boy. I'm not a prude by any means....and maybe it's more of an issue that I know more than two words for breasts...but reading her titties were hot, her titties were hot...just doesn't do it for me. It also doesn't seem to work for the narrator who until those moments is articulate and interesting even if he is somewhat of a thug.

[Katy-Del · Rating 3 out of 5]

I saw a review for a Felix novel a while back and put it on my to read list. I ran across this one in the used book store, so this is my introduction to the series.

I thought it was a decent PI novel. A zombie is found in Boulder, and Felix has very little information to go on when he is sent out to find where it came from. If kind of resembles a needle in a hay stack search where all he has to focus on are the people who have disappeared.

Felix also has to deal with a psychic teen who wants to be made undead because she has a very nasty terminal illness.

The Zombies are gross, and disturbing. Zombies that drive with snacky brains in tupperware? Ewww...

I'll have to go back and read some of the novels that just deal with vampires and aliens.

[Nick McGreggor · Rating 2 out of 5]

The sex and violence are both rather tame. Which is fine, but someone else implied they were more of an issue, and I disagree.

It is too easy for Felix to hypnotize humans to get what he wants. It's a rather annoying plot crutch. Takes a bite out of the mystery/struggle of a PI and kills the tension (get it? "Bite"? Yeah...everyone's a comedian, right?)

The mystery is not "solved" so much as Felix stumbles right into it while randomly flailing around.

However, the book is occasionally amusing. Felix is (again) on occasion interesting as a character. Although his lack of respect for the danger the zombies presented made him a bit TSTL in the middle section of the book.

Not bad overall, but not the best in the series.

[Deb · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was fun. I'm adding it to my paranormal PI list. Felix Gomez is a vampire who works for the Arcanum, a sort of vamp High Council. In this world vampires, zombies and (presumably)other supernatural beings exist, but most regular people don't know about them and the Arcanum wants to keep it that way. When zombies start turning up, the Arcanum sends Felix to track down a suspicious psychic disturbance. What he finds is gangsters, more zombies, a 16-year-old psychic who wants him to turn her as the price for helping him and a whole lot of trouble.

[Tasula · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoy Mario Acevedo's 1st person narration of his vampire adventures as an enforcer for the ruling VAMP agency. This book deals with a mad scientist creating zombies, and a 16 year old girl who along with our hero Felix Gomez, gets entangled with the zombies. Overall, I really liked it, but the ending fell apart a bit for me, won't say why because of spoiler. Nevertheless, still quite good and will look for next book to see what becomes of the loose ends from this and previous book (where Carmen wound up with aliens).