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A Practical Handbook for the Boyfriend: For Every Guy Who Wants to Be One/For Every Girl Who Wants to Build One
Most dating books are written for women -- what a mistake that is. Women know how to date . . . It's men who need the help! At a blithe, bold, and bawdy guide to building a better boyfriend At some point, every guy -- player, geek, mama's boy, "regular Joe" -- meets a woman who makes him want to be a boyfriend. A good boyfriend. Problem is, unless he's had some first-rate training (by a previous girlfriend, a sister, a mom), he probably doesn't even know what that means. Felicity Huffman and Patricia Wolff come to the rescue with a rollicking -- and whip-smart -- handbook to navigating the minefield of male-female relationships. Directed at men (though of course it's women who'll buy it, then leave it at their boyfriend's place -- accidentally on purpose), A Practical Handbook for the Boyfriend lays out the many steps involved in becoming a good boyfriend, while still maintaining guy-dignity. It covers issues Who decides when you become a boyfriend ( She does.) How to look like you're listening, even when you're not (If you're busted, just say "You're so pretty, I'm distracted.") Ten things never to say on the first date (#4: "I just did that to freak you out.") Finding the middle ground between too cool (think third grade) and too eager (think surprise visits) Why becoming a good boyfriend is a lot like training for the A team Filled with humor, ribaldry, common sense, and assorted outdoor skills, A Practical Handbook for the Boyfriend is the next dating guide to dominate the bestseller lists.
237 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2006
8 people are currently reading
152 people want to read
About the author
Felicity Huffman
5 books2 followersFelicity Kendall Huffman is an American actress. She is known for her role as Lynette Scavo, the hectic busy Super-Mom on the ABC show Desperate Housewives, which earned her an Emmy Award. A year later, her role as a transwoman in the independent film Transamerica earned her a Golden Globe Award and an Academy Award nomination, and was praised by many critics.
Huffman is also the co-author of the self-help book, A Practical Handbook for the Boyfriend.
Huffman is also the co-author of the self-help book, A Practical Handbook for the Boyfriend.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 81 reviews
August 1, 2014
Perhaps I am being "overly sensitive" or a "unfunny feminist" but I found this book to be shallow and incredibly patronizing.
This book promises practical relationship advice but instead paints all men as hopeless and totally clueless and paints all women as delicate flowers who spend their time sobbing about every little thing. It implies that women can never be logical because we are mindless slaves to our emotions while men wouldn't understand emotions if they jumped out of a bush naked and punched them in the face.
There are a ton of other relationship advice books out there that are actually written as though both members of the relationship are, you know, actually people. I highly suggest reading one of those books instead of this one.
This book promises practical relationship advice but instead paints all men as hopeless and totally clueless and paints all women as delicate flowers who spend their time sobbing about every little thing. It implies that women can never be logical because we are mindless slaves to our emotions while men wouldn't understand emotions if they jumped out of a bush naked and punched them in the face.
There are a ton of other relationship advice books out there that are actually written as though both members of the relationship are, you know, actually people. I highly suggest reading one of those books instead of this one.
February 14, 2019
This was fun and light and enjoyable. I can’t recall how I found this book as I was scrolling through a blog about books but it was worth the read.
“GPS – Girlfriend Positioning System. Did you know that a girl has to spend half an hour speed walking to burn as many calories as her BF does watching thirty minutes of football sitting in his Barcalounger? Turns out that little thing called testosterone not only makes you good at reading maps, it makes your body a calorie-burning machine. Damn you. Besides the physiology, which works in your favor, the playing field isn’t level out there. Women can never be too thin or too pretty. Talk about pressure (you try passing cellulite off as a cool little addition to your ass). Skinny girls worry about looking fat, and fat girls worry about looking fat. Why do you think women are so into shoes? Because they always fit.” – p. 73
“Be Prepared – Love up her body the way you find it, or find a body that you can love up—and remember, at some poing you will begin to go bald, and we will be kind.” – p. 76
“The idea of space—his space, her space, our space—can mean so many things, none of them having to do with space, and all of them having to do with distance. The person uttering these three powerful words isn’t asking for more legroom, he’s asking for a new seat assignment, and more important, announcing that he’s about to change rows. To a guy, space can be the final frontier: adventure and excitement, Klingons, holodecks, and cute alien girls with skimpy costumes. It can also be guy time, a chance for a beer with Spock and McCoy. But to your girlfriend, it can feel like she’s being left in the Enterprise with the robot and the freeze-dried food.” – p. 185
“No Girls Allowed. We’ve known about your need for time with your friends since you hung the first KEEP OUT sign on your tree house. And sure, some GFs don’t have a problem with guy time. They don’t get their panties in a wad and mope around feeling blue, alone, and unloved. How mature. Then there are the rest of us.” – p. 189
“Here’s the irony: The more you pull away, the more your girlfriend will want to hang on to you. And the more freaked out she is by your time with the guys, the more you want it. It’s human nature.” – p. 190
“The course of true love never did run smooth” – p. 247 (Shakespeare quote from A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act 1, Scene 1 with Lysander talking)
“A Bear on a Bicycle – A lot of fights occur because of a fundamental gap in the problem-solving techniques of men and women. Actually, it’s not a gap—it’s more like the Grand Canyon. Men always assume women want advice and solutions to their problems, but we just want a sympathetic ear. Let’s say your GF comes and tells you she’s had a fight with her mother and it’s keeping her awake at night. “Look,” you tell her, “this always happens with your mother. You’ll feel better if you skip ahead and apologize, and by the way, where do you want to go tonight—Italian or seafood?” She flares up or gets sullen, says she hates Italian, and seafood makes her sick. The ball is off and running. You are in a fight.” – p. 239
“Sometimes picking a fight is really about missing you.” – p. 250
“We have always marveled at how men and women talk about infidelity. “It just happened,” they say, as if there they were, innocently walking along, minding their own business, when wham! They tripped and landed with their genitalia tangled up in someone else’s.” – p. 262
“GPS – Girlfriend Positioning System. Did you know that a girl has to spend half an hour speed walking to burn as many calories as her BF does watching thirty minutes of football sitting in his Barcalounger? Turns out that little thing called testosterone not only makes you good at reading maps, it makes your body a calorie-burning machine. Damn you. Besides the physiology, which works in your favor, the playing field isn’t level out there. Women can never be too thin or too pretty. Talk about pressure (you try passing cellulite off as a cool little addition to your ass). Skinny girls worry about looking fat, and fat girls worry about looking fat. Why do you think women are so into shoes? Because they always fit.” – p. 73
“Be Prepared – Love up her body the way you find it, or find a body that you can love up—and remember, at some poing you will begin to go bald, and we will be kind.” – p. 76
“The idea of space—his space, her space, our space—can mean so many things, none of them having to do with space, and all of them having to do with distance. The person uttering these three powerful words isn’t asking for more legroom, he’s asking for a new seat assignment, and more important, announcing that he’s about to change rows. To a guy, space can be the final frontier: adventure and excitement, Klingons, holodecks, and cute alien girls with skimpy costumes. It can also be guy time, a chance for a beer with Spock and McCoy. But to your girlfriend, it can feel like she’s being left in the Enterprise with the robot and the freeze-dried food.” – p. 185
“No Girls Allowed. We’ve known about your need for time with your friends since you hung the first KEEP OUT sign on your tree house. And sure, some GFs don’t have a problem with guy time. They don’t get their panties in a wad and mope around feeling blue, alone, and unloved. How mature. Then there are the rest of us.” – p. 189
“Here’s the irony: The more you pull away, the more your girlfriend will want to hang on to you. And the more freaked out she is by your time with the guys, the more you want it. It’s human nature.” – p. 190
“The course of true love never did run smooth” – p. 247 (Shakespeare quote from A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act 1, Scene 1 with Lysander talking)
“A Bear on a Bicycle – A lot of fights occur because of a fundamental gap in the problem-solving techniques of men and women. Actually, it’s not a gap—it’s more like the Grand Canyon. Men always assume women want advice and solutions to their problems, but we just want a sympathetic ear. Let’s say your GF comes and tells you she’s had a fight with her mother and it’s keeping her awake at night. “Look,” you tell her, “this always happens with your mother. You’ll feel better if you skip ahead and apologize, and by the way, where do you want to go tonight—Italian or seafood?” She flares up or gets sullen, says she hates Italian, and seafood makes her sick. The ball is off and running. You are in a fight.” – p. 239
“Sometimes picking a fight is really about missing you.” – p. 250
“We have always marveled at how men and women talk about infidelity. “It just happened,” they say, as if there they were, innocently walking along, minding their own business, when wham! They tripped and landed with their genitalia tangled up in someone else’s.” – p. 262
April 26, 2009
My gf got me this for our one year anniversary as a gag gift (I hope). Funny stuff is contained within its pages along with some practical advice. I look forward to theatrically pulling it out and looking at it during tense relationship moments.
August 30, 2025
Not to be read by anyone, as you need to be able to ignore the bad parts to make use of the good parts! Sexist / about sex jokes have not aged well, while for the year it came out some of its messaging on therapy and relationships could have sounded quite modern. Probably more a book to make people react or think about things with a different angle (despite exaggerated or even repulsive humor) than real self-help.
June 4, 2025
I loved it it was funny and good to read.
October 6, 2010
This book is only semi-serious where other (e.g. Mars & Venus) are all serious. It was actually good to read something that had wit as well as wisdom. It’s mostly things I already knew but may or may not pass along to future SOs. It also helps give women some insight into men and what men may have dealt with in the past (e.g. jealous, crazy, and other behaviors seen on Melrose Place).
I agreed with most of it but one thing I absolutely did not agree with is the ‘boxers only’ rule. I am against tighty whiteys because they are remarkably unsexy but boxer briefs are my favorites and I know many other women who agree. Overall, it’s fun and worth the read and men may want to take this at least semi-seriously.
I agreed with most of it but one thing I absolutely did not agree with is the ‘boxers only’ rule. I am against tighty whiteys because they are remarkably unsexy but boxer briefs are my favorites and I know many other women who agree. Overall, it’s fun and worth the read and men may want to take this at least semi-seriously.
December 11, 2011
I felt a little bit like I was cheating with this one as I actually listened to it on audio. But what fun that was. I wanted to listen/read this book to get some good insight for the male characters in my writing. I got that, but I also got a couple dozen laugh out loud moments in every chapter. I wish I could actually get guys to read this. I'm guessing more women will pick it up than men, but if they do, they should definitely coerce the men in their lives to at least skim some of it. This is the new Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, only funny.
August 26, 2022
Hilarious . Made me laugh and was one of the very few books I actually enjoyed reading
July 22, 2022
[I wrote this review on July 21, 2015, and posted an edited version to GoodReads on July 21, 2022.]
I listened to the unabridged audio version of this title (on 4 CDs, read by Shelly Frasier, Tantor Audio, 2007).
I picked up this book, one of the very few manuals on the dos and don'ts of dating written for men, out of curiosity, after I found myself navigating the singles scene. I was mildly disappointed to find little advice specific to the book's title. What first-author Hoffman, of "Desperate Housewives" & "Transamerica" fame, and co-author Wolff offer is a series of common-sense suggestions telling you how to be an attentive and caring human-being. These apply to being a good boyfriend, girlfriend, plain friend, colleague, neighbor, and so on.
Some readers/listeners may find the frank language about intimacy offensive at times, but, if you get past those passages, you will be amply rewarded with a better understanding of what makes women tick and why they find some things that seem trivial to men extremely disturbing. As the book’s subtitle suggests, women can also benefit from this book by understanding why some men have no clue about how to maintain and nurture a healthy relationship and what women can do to change the situation.
The book contains a few pieces of advice, apparently offered in jest. For example, the would-be boyfriend is told to always pretend he's listening, and, if busted, to just say "You're so pretty, I'm distracted." Hilariously, the book's cover declares "Boyfriend Not Included," hinting that the book may be secretly targeted at women, more than at men. This witty book is a light, fun read. Couples can benefit from reading it together and discussing the ideas therein.
I listened to the unabridged audio version of this title (on 4 CDs, read by Shelly Frasier, Tantor Audio, 2007).
I picked up this book, one of the very few manuals on the dos and don'ts of dating written for men, out of curiosity, after I found myself navigating the singles scene. I was mildly disappointed to find little advice specific to the book's title. What first-author Hoffman, of "Desperate Housewives" & "Transamerica" fame, and co-author Wolff offer is a series of common-sense suggestions telling you how to be an attentive and caring human-being. These apply to being a good boyfriend, girlfriend, plain friend, colleague, neighbor, and so on.
Some readers/listeners may find the frank language about intimacy offensive at times, but, if you get past those passages, you will be amply rewarded with a better understanding of what makes women tick and why they find some things that seem trivial to men extremely disturbing. As the book’s subtitle suggests, women can also benefit from this book by understanding why some men have no clue about how to maintain and nurture a healthy relationship and what women can do to change the situation.
The book contains a few pieces of advice, apparently offered in jest. For example, the would-be boyfriend is told to always pretend he's listening, and, if busted, to just say "You're so pretty, I'm distracted." Hilariously, the book's cover declares "Boyfriend Not Included," hinting that the book may be secretly targeted at women, more than at men. This witty book is a light, fun read. Couples can benefit from reading it together and discussing the ideas therein.
July 31, 2020
This book had me doubled over in laughter for some parts of it. It’s pretty funny and I found myself sharing bits and pieces with friends. However in terms of advice.....it’s a mixed boat. Some things are great such as the ideas for gifts, dates, and things that you should never say. But life is complicated and so are people. Unlike the picture painted by this book, most of the guys I know are not disgusting slobs and most of the women I know are not trying to remodel your home. Nor are they trying to keep you from spending time with your guy friends. Honestly some of the behaviors described in this book are just childish and do not make for good relationships. No a little bit of flirting with the gas station attendant is not “cute” nor is picking fights because he’s spending time with friends instead of you.
Like any advice, take it with a grain of salt. Humans aren’t so easy to categorize.
Like any advice, take it with a grain of salt. Humans aren’t so easy to categorize.
January 28, 2020
Read for Philosophy Cafe: Does True Love Exist February 2020.
This book...wow. It gives tongue in cheek advice for primarily guys seeking to make it out of the friend zone with whatever woman they are after. The advice is both practical, funny and surprisingly solid. The tone of the book is casual--as if you were talking to a friend at a bar. The best features of this book are the fifties style pictures at the start of each chapter and the he says/she hears sections.
Since this book is older, the pop culture references are significantly outdated. One passage says don't check your blackberry for the score of the game during a romantic dinner-LOL-!
The other thing I felt reading this is that I was very aware that I was reading a book by Felicity Huffman and I read with her accusations related to the 2019 college admission scandal in mind.
This book...wow. It gives tongue in cheek advice for primarily guys seeking to make it out of the friend zone with whatever woman they are after. The advice is both practical, funny and surprisingly solid. The tone of the book is casual--as if you were talking to a friend at a bar. The best features of this book are the fifties style pictures at the start of each chapter and the he says/she hears sections.
Since this book is older, the pop culture references are significantly outdated. One passage says don't check your blackberry for the score of the game during a romantic dinner-LOL-!
The other thing I felt reading this is that I was very aware that I was reading a book by Felicity Huffman and I read with her accusations related to the 2019 college admission scandal in mind.
April 4, 2019
I couldn’t even read a whole chapter. Shallow, patronizing, and incredibly sexist towards both men and women. Not actually funny, just pandering to the thoughtless and perpetuating the archaic toxic heterosexual relationship. Definitely a DNF.
June 27, 2020
This is actually an annual reread. Highly recommended for any guy age 14 to 70 reading this review. If you're serious about true love and romance, read this book. It's never too late to try to break the code.
August 25, 2021
Was given this book as a gift (a gag gift) and couldn't even finish it. I found this an extremely difficult book to read. I know it's a satire and I like to think I know what tone the authors were going for, but it comes across as condescending and patronising.
April 5, 2019
Seemed dead set on reinforcing gender stereotypes. Did not enjoy.
April 22, 2020
Unless you're a walking stereotype you won't be able to learn pretty much anything from this book. And humor...they're just trying too hard to squeeze laugh out of you.
Read
December 10, 2021Funny and practical
January 19, 2023
A really well written funny book with 80s dating logic and stereotypes. If you reminisce old fashioned dating, this is your go to book with certain truth in it.
March 28, 2007
This book was funny. There's some good advice in there, and it's particularly useful to keep in mind how the other gender thinks.
Remember, "Girl math" figures prominently in most women's everyday lives and we men need to be aware of the calculations actually going on in their heads.
For instance, and I'm paraphrasing: Guy says, "I need to lose a few pounds." It's something he'll do between watching TV and drinking beer. Woman says "I need to lose a few pounds" and (here's the girl-math) it equals a legion of trainers, nutritionists, weight-loss clubs, fashion consultants, health and self-help publications and the full support of everyone in her close network of friends and relatives.
Hilarious yet accurate. I highly recommend it.
Remember, "Girl math" figures prominently in most women's everyday lives and we men need to be aware of the calculations actually going on in their heads.
For instance, and I'm paraphrasing: Guy says, "I need to lose a few pounds." It's something he'll do between watching TV and drinking beer. Woman says "I need to lose a few pounds" and (here's the girl-math) it equals a legion of trainers, nutritionists, weight-loss clubs, fashion consultants, health and self-help publications and the full support of everyone in her close network of friends and relatives.
Hilarious yet accurate. I highly recommend it.
October 7, 2010
I first read this a few years back after a couple of bad dating experiences.
It was a quick but enjoyable read. The humor really helped reinforce some of the concepts that might have otherwise been glossed over.
My favorite part of the book was the chapter on the differences in thought processes between men and women (and especially the translations for the women).
Example quote:
"A man's emotional checklist is pretty basic: Am I hungry? Am I sleepy? Am I horny? If he's content in all three areas, he's pretty much okay. A woman's emotional checklist reads more like a Russian novel. It's long, complicated, confusing, and you spend a lot of time trying to keep the characters straight."
I couldn't have said it better myself...
It was a quick but enjoyable read. The humor really helped reinforce some of the concepts that might have otherwise been glossed over.
My favorite part of the book was the chapter on the differences in thought processes between men and women (and especially the translations for the women).
Example quote:
"A man's emotional checklist is pretty basic: Am I hungry? Am I sleepy? Am I horny? If he's content in all three areas, he's pretty much okay. A woman's emotional checklist reads more like a Russian novel. It's long, complicated, confusing, and you spend a lot of time trying to keep the characters straight."
I couldn't have said it better myself...
March 7, 2012
A book like this will always have sweeping generalities in it that don't hit home with everyone, so I can only hope most men who read in hope of gaining insight take it with a grain of salt, both treating it as a guidebook (not a source of bible truth) for all women and remembering that all of us are still individuals with our own preferences. (And, it's only fair that we women do the same for men!) There were several sections where I was very happy they addressed a few subjects openly and in a frank manner--after all, we're all adults here. I expected to be entertained, and I was, laughing out loud a couple times.
November 8, 2007
This book was in Oprah's book club. I actually am starting to read a number of books in Oprah's book Club. The book is a lightning fast read. As usual, I pick up a couple things here and there. Its a bit pricey if you buy it new. Get it used.
Some great advice about breakups. Basically, rebounding is bad and though the sex is great, its always better to go back to square one and start over. On the other end, if you are still mulling over your ex, they suggest "Getting over someone by getting under someone"
Some great advice about breakups. Basically, rebounding is bad and though the sex is great, its always better to go back to square one and start over. On the other end, if you are still mulling over your ex, they suggest "Getting over someone by getting under someone"
June 16, 2007
I read this book because I thought it would be funny. I did laugh out loud a few times, but that is the sole saving grace.
I may be too cruel: 5% of this book is good, solid advice for guys. However, at least 15% is HORRIBLE, completly inaccurate advice for guys. the remaining 80% of the book is enough babbling about women to make any sane man scream, run for the hills, and join a wolf pack the next time a pretty girl so much as smiles at him.
I may be too cruel: 5% of this book is good, solid advice for guys. However, at least 15% is HORRIBLE, completly inaccurate advice for guys. the remaining 80% of the book is enough babbling about women to make any sane man scream, run for the hills, and join a wolf pack the next time a pretty girl so much as smiles at him.
January 13, 2012
It speaks to men, but I don't know how many men are actually reading it. It's pretty funny, my favorite part:
"The truth is, we women are so obsessed with our bodies that we often rate our experiences according to how much we weigh or how we feel about the shape we're in. Looking back over snapshots of vacations, we think, "Oh yea, I was a hundred and twenty pounds then, that was a good trip." Or, conversely, "Oh God, I was so fat on that vacation to the Grand Canyon, it was the worst trip."
"The truth is, we women are so obsessed with our bodies that we often rate our experiences according to how much we weigh or how we feel about the shape we're in. Looking back over snapshots of vacations, we think, "Oh yea, I was a hundred and twenty pounds then, that was a good trip." Or, conversely, "Oh God, I was so fat on that vacation to the Grand Canyon, it was the worst trip."
April 15, 2012
This book really understands what women are like. Yes, the authors confess, we can seem crazy. But we’re not. We’re really not. Don’t give me that look.
This lays down a lot about feminine behavior and the motives behind it. It’s definitely diverting, astute and surprisingly helpful. From dating women to leaving them (but leaving them happy), this book covers modern-day topics with thoroughness and flair. I’m not sure how many men will actually read it but it’s worth their time to take a peek within its pages.
This lays down a lot about feminine behavior and the motives behind it. It’s definitely diverting, astute and surprisingly helpful. From dating women to leaving them (but leaving them happy), this book covers modern-day topics with thoroughness and flair. I’m not sure how many men will actually read it but it’s worth their time to take a peek within its pages.
October 2, 2016
Want to be the best boyfriend there ever was?? All this & more is just a few chapters away in this honest account of what women hear when we speak & what we don't hear when they speak. Laugh out loud passages make this the most entertaining read I have ever read next to Bridget Jones Diary & Pulp Fiction. Don't delay read this today! A better world awaits where men can express their feelings, apologise and listen and not solve all of women's problems. This is something I always need to remember more! Happy reading!
June 2, 2009
An entertaining & attractive book that “sheds light on the confusing world of romance” and succeeds in providing insightful advice on how to read and interpret what women really want. So whether you’re an average joe or a Casanova, you will find plenty of refreshing material here that will help you grasp a better understanding of the opposite sex and become a desirable boyfriend and not the dreaded “borefriend”.
June 29, 2009
If I could give this book 7 stars, I would. The book is absolutely hilarious, but it really is quite practical. I would suggest it for women who are in for a good laugh and for guys who are in a relationship or plan to be one day.
The advice is phenomenal, the dialogue is hysterical and reads pretty quickly. I seriously loved it. My bf doesn't like to read, but I tabbed a few pages for him and he got a total kick out of them and had an "ahah!" moment.
Go read the book...
The advice is phenomenal, the dialogue is hysterical and reads pretty quickly. I seriously loved it. My bf doesn't like to read, but I tabbed a few pages for him and he got a total kick out of them and had an "ahah!" moment.
Go read the book...
March 31, 2010
This is terribly adorable. Adorable may be a wrong word, but that's all I can think of it as.
The book is basically common sense relationship advice for the menfolk. The question is, do I think these ideas are common sense because I'm a woman? Innnteresting.
I can't imagine a man actually reading this. But maybe they should. Plus, it's very funny.
I would've liked for Felicity Huffman to read the audiobook, though.
The book is basically common sense relationship advice for the menfolk. The question is, do I think these ideas are common sense because I'm a woman? Innnteresting.
I can't imagine a man actually reading this. But maybe they should. Plus, it's very funny.
I would've liked for Felicity Huffman to read the audiobook, though.
April 19, 2013
The book was definitely humorous and fun to read, but having just gotten married it wasn't quite as helpful as I would have hoped it to be. I didn't go into it expecting super serious psychological discussions, but I also was hoping for something a little more in depth than was delivered. It's a good starting place for a young awkward teenager to begin I suppose.
All in all an enjoyable funny read.
All in all an enjoyable funny read.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 81 reviews