Buzz: A Year of Paying Attention

by Katherine Ellison

“An absorbing, sharply observed memoir.”
— Kirkus Reviews

A hilarious and heartrending account of one mother’s journey to understand and reconnect with her high-spirited preteen son—a true story sure to beguile parents grappling with a child’s bewildering behavior.

Popular literature is filled with the stories of self-sacrificing mothers bravely tending to their challenging children. Katherine Ellison offers a different kind of tale. Shortly after Ellison, an award-winning investigative reporter, and her twelve-year-old son, Buzz, were both diagnosed with attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder, she found herself making such a hash of parenting that the two of them faced three he’d go to boarding school; she’d go AWOL; or they’d make it their full-time job to work out their problems together. They decided to search for a solution while Ellison investigated what genuine relief, if any, might be found in the confusing array of goods sold by the modern mental health industry.

The number of diagnoses for childhood attention and behavior issues is exploding, leaving parents and educators on a confusing chase to find the best kind of help for each child. Buzz , a page-turner of a memoir, brings much relief. It is immensely engaging, laugh-out-loud funny, and honest—and packed with helpful insights.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Parenting, Adhd, Biography Memoir, Psychology, Self Help

304 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2010

About the author

Katherine Ellison is a Pulitzer Prize-winning investigative journalist, former foreign correspondent, writing consultant, and author of four books, including The Mommy Brain: How Motherhood Makes You Smarter. The mother of two sons, she lives in the San Francisco Bay Area."

Reviews

[Nancy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Full disclosure: I have three children (all girls) and none of them have ADD. Which is good, because from Katherine Ellison's description, ADD (especially in boys) absolutely sucks. Absolutely. Sucks.

(In all honesty, I wondered a bit about Ms. Ellison. There is just the merest hint of the unreliable narrator there: I got the slightest soupcon, the tiniest suspicion, that perhaps she is a somewhat inconsistent mother. I do not AT ALL condemn her for her confessed lapses - saying "shut up" and so on - but I did wonder if she might be the sort of mother who tries one disciplinary method one day and another thing the next, leaving her child somewhat bewildered about what the consequences of misbehavior might be. That said? Her description of life with her ADD son, Buzz, is sort of horrifying, and her commitment to spend a year trying to understand her son's (and possibly her own) disorder is commendable and brave.)

And for me, at least, it worked. I think differently about ADD now, thanks to Ellison's straightforward description of the many tests, therapeutic interventions, and results of her quest to get a lock on Buzz's disorder. It went a long way (with me at least) that Ellison is an investigative reporter: when she reports on a new intervention, she invariably offers the pros and cons, the critics' caveats as well as the disciples' raves. As I traveled with Katherine and Buzz through brain scans, tutoring, medications, and biofeedback therapies, I could feel a subtle shift in my attitude toward these kids and families; my attitude became less judgmental and considerably more nuanced. In the end, I think Ellison's message is that ADD is an extraordinarily complex disorder that makes extraordinary demands of the children who are afflicted by it and their families, teachers, relatives and friends. And it really helps that Ellison is an engaging writer with an often wickedly satirical voice.

I would strongly recommend this memoir to two groups: parents of ADD children, and people who think that the ADD diagnosis and its attendant pharmaceutical therapies are simply a band-aid to cover up bad parenting. Oh, and, people like me who love a memoir. Wait, does that mean I've recommended it to basically everyone? Well, that works too.

Thanks to LibraryThing's Early Reviewer Program for sending me an advance copy of this book!

[B. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've had ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) as far back as I can remember, even though I was never officially diagnosed until I was 21. I always assumed -- as did others -- that I was simply forgetful and continually bored. A year after my diagnosis, Buzz: A Year of Paying Attention, opened my eyes to the world of attention deficit with anecdotes I could relate to; like never remembering where you put the car keys and not being able to "tune in" to something someone is saying even though you really, really are interested.

Katherine Ellison is not one who says "give our kid Ritalin and everything will be hunky-dory" either. In this memoir, she takes the time and spends the butt load of cash seeking and exploring the depths of almost every treatment for attention deficit. She takes you on a journey through neurofeedback and meditation, as well as the "miracle" Ritalin pill.

Very well spoken, in depth, and inspiring take on a disorder that has been shrugged off as a "...ooo shiny!" joke for years. Highly recommended for those suffering with ADD or AD/HD, or those who know someone -- specifically parenting someone -- who is.

[Edy Gies · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am all over the place in my opinion of this book. I found the idea of the author dedicating a year to her son and to her own attention issues fascinating. She tried a variety of methods to cure or improve her son's and her own ADHD. This is very important to me as I face this same issue with my own son, so naturally this part of the story compelled me. I was struck by her descriptions of lost keys, assignments, and grocery lists as all too familiar aspects of my own life. A major difference that stuck out to me was her despritanes to control the outcome of her son's life. Although I can relate to anxiety and worry, I will also say that having God to trust in drastically reduces my anxiety and stress. I can depend on him to keep his promises to me. It also seems that some boundaries (see Boundaries for Kids) would be a very good idea to help Katherine and Buzz at home. Swearing at the family and being a jerk is not something that anyone should have to put up with, ADHD or not. I know my son's case is not severe, but still, it seems from her descriptions of interactions huge improvement could be made by setting and sticking to appropriate boundaries. All in all, I'm glad I read it, but I wouldn't necessarily recommend others struggling with ADHD to read it.

[Sherry · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm happy to have found a book that relates so specifically to the day to day struggles a parent goes through with a child who has ADHD. The scenes between parent, child, teacher and sibling could be taken out of any family's life who is struggling with this issue. Parenting is a lesson in accepting your character defects but even more so when you parent a child with ADHD. Intense love doesn't always conquer the frustration you feel. I admire her diligence to comb through all the potential treatments and give honest assessments. I also loved hearing both her support and honest struggles along the way. And you clearly see the love she has for her son in willing to move mountains to get the right plan for him. It can be a lonely, defeating thing to go through so if you are looking for a book you can read and feel like someone else gets what you are going through in both a funny and informative way, this is it.

[Marcia Conner · Rating 5 out of 5]

While I appreciated most of Ellison's earlier book The Mommy Brain--this beautifully written memoir made me feel like I was sitting right beside her as she honestly and humorously navigates incredibly difficult terrain. The whole book is very good. The epilogue is great, worth the price of the book just for it's information. Her detailed descriptions of what worked and what didn't work for her and her son (Buzz), is something I've never encountered in all the books about ADHD and attention that I've read over the last 20+ years. Just don't conclude this is an easy read. Skillful writing about a hard topic means you can personally feel just how hard it can all be.

[Laura Cordes · Rating 1 out of 5]

Sadly, one of those books I'm never going to finish. I simply couldn't bring myself to care about the woman who spent the first 2 chapters whining that everyone else has better kids. Possibly it gets better later on, but I'm not really willing to spend the time to find out.

[Robin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a terrific book. Funny, honest, clear, Ellison is a great writer who's not afraid to show the dark side of her parenting and the challenges of life with ADD. Highly recommended.

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome insight into one woman's search into understanding ADD and her son.

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this book was awesome - I believe that Ms. Ellison was not just speaking to the issues with which Buzz had to navigate, but how her own distraction was lending to both her problem and Buzz's defiance. I enjoyed the balance between her interpretation of her own actions and gaining insight to how Buzz might feel when he was acting out (the 9-1-1 call to the police comes to mind).

I also found this book to contain a lot of useful information about the variety of treatments and information/disinformation that comes with the territory of having a child diagnosed with a learning disability.

As a mother of three children, and a young son with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) and possibly ADD (he is too young to have such a diagnosis as yet), I devoured this book, finding my young son in Buzz's actions. My "Buzz" cannot walk by a table or counter without knocking something off. My Buzz has a hard time not hitting his older Max with only the slightest of provocation (he adores his older brother but gets a constant negative older brother stream from Max). We have had play therapy and OT for two years, and just started social/behavior therapy. I have also had the advantage of finding a wonderful parent coach who has helped me turn my relationship with my Buzz around to a much more positive place. All that therapy has made a difference in the relationships but has not taken away the underlying issues of poor impulse control and distraction.

I have read at least a half dozen books on SPD, several on ADD, trolled the web looking for information regarding my son.

I will agree with previous reviewers who wondered about the relationship between mother and child, but it really has only an reflection on the child's inner workings. You can make it easier, but you cannot make it better or fix it.

The one thing I really wanted to know is what was going on during the ages of 4 - 7 with Buzz. We really noticed that something was different when our Buzz was 3, hence we have had the benefit of early intervention (both with him and the parental units).

If you are a parent of a child with some type of learning disorder, I highly recommend this book.

[Reesa · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Buzz" is a memoir about how the author, following an escalating family struggle that resulted in her son's complete and utter meltdown, decides to take a year off from other projects and focus solely on understanding him and helping him learn to cope with his ADD - and, not so incidentally, tackle her own struggles with the same disorder. Some of her approaches are well-meant but flawed while others show a great deal of promise, but throughout the process we get to see her learning and growing as she explores the implications of ADD and what it means to focus on her son.

The story related in these pages is touching and well written. The book is first and foremost a memoir, so it doesn't guide you step by step through the process of getting diagnosed or give you a formula to follow in your own treatment plan. It is, however, written by a skilled journalist who is exploring a wide range of treatments, so it gives some very accessible explanations of a range of treatment options and shares one family's experiences with their benefits and drawbacks. It also finishes up with a section detailing which treatments they found most beneficial.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book! I am a little skeptical of the ADD/ADHD diagnosis, because so many people/children are labeled this way without much evidence to back it up. However, I related to quite a bit of what Ellison had to say. For example, since I made the move from full-time professional mom to stay-at-home-mom, I totally get her analogy of running daily sprints to running a long old marathon. Also, while it seems a little trite and obvious, kids certainly become what they live around. Whenever I am frustrated with something my kids are doing/not doing, I have to look at myself. When I find my daughter is not paying attention when I speak to her, I become more mindful of paying attention to HER. Within a couple of days, I notice a distinct difference in how many times I have to repeat myself. Not every behavior issue is this straightforward, but many are. I found myself highlighting this book, reading passages to my husband, and recommending the book to friends. An easy read, with a lot of honest insight from another mother.

[Kim · Rating 3 out of 5]

I debated giving this 4 stars. Maybe it's more like a 3.5 stars. The reason I didn't rate it higher is maybe more because I identified a little too closely with Ellison. The breakneck pace of her thoughts mirrors mine fairly well, although my ADD doesn't come with the temper impulse control (any more). It made for uncomfortable reading. And a smidgen scary, as I'm not a parent yet and it has definitely crossed my mind that being my scatterbrained self with a child who is equally scatterbrained might be a little...challenging. She does note that a lot of what they tried for her and her son is not widely available to people of, shall we say, more modest means, but that didn't really make it any less interesting. At any rate, if you *don't* have ADD and you want a taste of what it's like, this is a reasonable example.

[Sashburn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is - literally - changing my life. It's so close to my life and so close to much of Eli's life that, at times, I feel really proud of this great memoir I have written and then...I remember that I did not write it. I highly recommend it to any & all. I'd loan you my copy, but then I would have to part with it and stop underlining and crying all over it.

[Karl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great insight into a mother struggling with her son's AD/HD while coming to terms with her own distracted tendencies. Her struggles to decide on things like meds and where to stand her ground versus letting things slide really hit home for me. I got choked up several times.

[Tika · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't think I learn anything new. Also she seems like a terrible mom to her other son.

[Wendy · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you know anyone with ADD/ADHD, reading this book is going to be one of the most cathartic reads yet. Insightful, humorous and tender. I couldn't put it down.

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sometimes a book comes along that is just what the doctor ordered… and actually got right! Imagine a hot, humid day. Imagine mowing a large parcel of land at the hottest point of the day. Now, imagine an ice cold beer (or iced tea, if need be.) That’s how good and satisfying it felt to read Buzz: A Year of Paying Attention, by Katherine Ellison. Ellison’s memoir cum treatise of best practices was recommended in an article on the ADDITUDE website (an excellent online resource for anyone who wants to learn about ADHD.) To continue with the metaphor, the book quenched my overwhelming thirst for commiseration and information in the never boring but always challenging world of parenting a child with ADHD while having ADHD yourself.

I’ve been on the ADHD roller coaster my whole life, but didn’t realize and verify it until my mid-40s. After years of being on antidepressants with mixed results, my psychiatrist reluctantly handed me a prescription for a stimulant to treat symptoms of ADHD. When I showed up in his office a few weeks later, he was at once thrilled, moved, and a bit ashamed when I told him about the epiphany I had once my executive function got online consistently and all the good that was coming from it; he was thrilled because he is a good person and wanted to help alleviate my suffering; he was moved, because rarely in his profession did patients display such drastic improvements; and ashamed, because he had resisted my suspicion–planted by an acquaintance/friend from middle school–that I had ADHD. I had been seeing psychiatrists for 30 years to get treatment for depression, and not one had even mentioned the possibility that I had ADHD. It took a lunch date with a buddy from 7th grade that I hadn’t seen in decades to point out the obvious.

I am now 53, received my license as a Marriage and Family Therapist a year ago, and have a 14 year old son who was evaluated and diagnosed this past summer with a kind of ADHD that presents very differently from my own. Needless to say, I have learned a lot about ADHD since I started being successfully treated for the most difficult symptoms. However, as is the case with anything, the more I learned, the more questions I had.

That’s where Buzz comes in. From the legitimized if not legitimate sources of information I was consulting–Dr. Barkley, Dr. Hallowell, Thom Hartman, ADDitude Magazine, CHADD– I got some contradictory information. (Medication was effective! Medication was detrimental!) Then I would read about some controversy surrounding a popular and costly evaluation or treatment. (In the first set of comments on Facebook advertisements for the controversial Amon clinics is inevitably one that asks, “Sounds interesting, but HOW MUCH?” The answer is, “A lot.”) Katherine Ellison has done the footwork for people in my situation–motivated by her own frustration and need to find a better path for her relationship with her son and how best to support him (and herself,) and with the buying power of a book advance–she shelled out the funds and experienced first hand the expensive alternative evaluations and treatments, and reports back to us, the Confused yet Determined. And I trust Ellison. I trust her because she shared some of her less than flattering interactions with her son in moments of despair. I trust her because she does the research, the leg work, and listens to her gut. I trust her because in the course of the book, she shares how she grows and changes.

One of my symptoms of ADHD is that I am a slow reader, so I chose to listen to the audio version of the book. I don’t always love when an author reads their book. Not in this case. I enjoyed Ellison’s cadence and tone and found her writing to be engaging and entertaining. I loved this book.

[Karie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Parts of “Buzz” were fascinating to me as I know a couple of little boys who have similar traits to author Katherine Ellison’s son. Many of the attitude shifts she experiences as she deals with the diagnosis of ADHD for both herself and her son are ones that I, too, have espoused…although in my case there was very little actual fact to back up my arguments.

She shifts well between the emotions she feels in this year of “paying attention” and the medical and sociological facts she presents. I knew very little about ADHD beyond what one reads in the news and in magazines…watching as attitudes swing from pro-medication to very anti. Her presentation of the facts she learns meshes well with what she herself is experiencing.

“Are we blessed or cursed by supposedly knowing so much more than our parents did? Especially when there’s such fierce debate of nearly every aspect of what we think we know? Well-informed as we modern parents may be, we’ve ended up with much more data than knowledge, inclining us to burn countless megawatts of brainpower trying to discern that shifting line between character and disorder, explanation and excuse, “I can’t” and “I won’t”.”

Above all, what comes across in “Buzz” is that ADHD, its diagnosis, its possible treatments, all involve a great deal of heartache and difficulty for the child and for the parents. There is no right answer; there is no one size fits all cure. Everyone seems to have an opinion but no one really has the answer. Raising children is hard. Being a child, especially today, is hard.

The one criticism I might have (and again, this is based on my experience which is different than the author’s) – is that what comes across in this book is a near total disgust and frustration with the public school system. With the exception of one of two teachers she encounters, Ellison seems to find little value in the way public schools try and deal with all of the children they interact with. Where private schools have better luck dealing with kids with different needs – public schools must accept all children – and have their hands tied in many ways private school do not. I found myself skimming some of the paragraphs near the end of the book when they appeared to further disparage the schools.

But I am very glad I read “Buzz”. It gave me insight about what parents go through when their child is diagnosed with this disorder. There are so many struggles – not only between parent and child, but parent and doctors, children and teachers, parents and other parents. It is exhausting to read about and my heart goes out to these parents and children. While there seems no magic answer, I certainly hope they find an answer that works for them.

[Leann Parrish · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this book as an educator hoping to better understand my students with ADHD and their parents. I did not enjoy reading this book, and unfortunately, this book was not nearly as enlightening as I would have hoped. If you're a parent of a child with ADHD, you probably will nod your head in agreement at some of the other's stories. If you're someone trying to understand people with ADHD better, you probably won't finish this book with a greater understanding. It's a long, tedious read that probably isn't worth your time.

[Eric Engleman · Rating 4 out of 5]

As the author writes, "if you're reading this book you or someone you know probably has AD/HD." A heart-breaking story of one mother's journey to help her son learn to manage AD/HD and to manage her own anxieties. If someone has been on the journey, you already realize you are probably stronger than you realize, and far more tired than most.

Very heart-warming, with some ideas as how to manage AD/HD. Medication, neuro-feedback, various therapies, meditation, etc, etc. There's no silver bullet.

[Alyssa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent memoir documenting a mother and her son who are both experiencing the trials and tribulations that come with experiencing ADHD. Katherine Ellison is an experienced journalist, and her writing makes you feel as though you are right there with her in the midst of her 5 day silent meditation retreat or struggling with her children at home. This book personalizes the specific challenges that someone with ADHD experiences on an every day basis. A great read!

[Elizabeth Rynecki · Rating 5 out of 5]

The parents I know would move a hill if they thought it would help their kid. Ellison explores a range of beliefs and therapies to help her son, herself, and her family. This is a story of love, the struggles of helping a kid with ADHD, and the mother who tries to help her family through it all. An insightful, and at times humorous, book about what it’s like to navigate the waters of neurologically atypical kids

[Cathleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to my brother's girlfriend for recommending this book. Written from the perspective of an ADHD adult with a super ADHD kid, it offered some insight into my super ADHD kid. The author thoroughly researched many ways of treating her neurodivergent son saving me some time and money. There were a few autobiographical chapters that were more focused on her own journey that were also interesting.

[Elizabeth McInerney · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a mother who shares her experience, I welcomed the company, and the information she found. The author is also a skilled writer, which also made for an enjoyable read. I reserve my 5 star reviews for literary masterpieces, but this was everything that I needed it to be. Highly recommend for any parent in this situation.

[Belinda Herndon · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lot of useful information in one source

This book thoroughly answered many of my misgivings and helped me sort through all of the confusion I have felt re: my grandchildren. It prompted me to begin the evaluation process and gives me hope that the kids can succeed in school. We can also avoid some very expensive treatments that are not proven.

[Beth · Rating 1 out of 5]

I went into this book looking for insight and advice on living with ADHD, as well helping a son who has ADHD. This book was no help in those departments. It really seemed just like she was complaining about her child with ADHD. I tried so hard to finish, but ultimately after 3 weeks, multiple attempts, and finishing 5 other books since starting… I decided to give up. DNF.

[Mary B · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed Ellison's attention to detail and thoroughness in weaving together her personal experiences with studies and expert opinions. Her expertise as a journalist shines through without clouding over her realness as a person who feels emotions and sometimes thinks or acts irrationally. This memoir was relatable and inspiring.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting, informative. Some of it was a little dense to read through. Although ADD/ADHD is prevalent in the news and society, this gave not just a first hand account, but a more thorough explanation for the biology and brain mechanism behind it.

[Mama · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very interesting ADD memoir and research. Yet I was completely distracted by the mixed Spiritual influences. The author is seeking Enlightenment as she prepares for her son’s bar mitzvah and she’s concerned about his spiritual readiness for the rite. Huh? Am I the only one this unsettled?

[Brian S. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good balance and integration of personal narrative and science of ADHD. I recommend it.