What do you think?
Rate this book
At Home in the World
In the spring of 1972, Joyce Maynard, a freshman at Yale, published a cover story in The New York Times Magazine about life in the sixties. Among the many letters of praise, offers for writing assignments, and request for interviews was a one-page letter from the famously reclusive author, J.D. Salinger.
Don't Go Away Sad is the story of a girl who loved and lived with J.D. Salinger, and the woman she became. A crucial turning point in Joyce Maynard's life occurred when her own daughter turned eighteen--the age Maynard was when Salinger first approached her. Breaking a twenty-five year silence, Joyce Maynard addresses her relationship with Salinger for the first time, as well as the complicated , troubled and yet creative nature of her youth and family. She vividly describes the details of the times and her life with the finesse of a natural storyteller.
Courageously written by a women determined to allow her life to unfold with authenticity, Don't Go Away Sad is a testament to the resiliency of the spirit and the honesty of an unwavering eye.
Don't Go Away Sad is the story of a girl who loved and lived with J.D. Salinger, and the woman she became. A crucial turning point in Joyce Maynard's life occurred when her own daughter turned eighteen--the age Maynard was when Salinger first approached her. Breaking a twenty-five year silence, Joyce Maynard addresses her relationship with Salinger for the first time, as well as the complicated , troubled and yet creative nature of her youth and family. She vividly describes the details of the times and her life with the finesse of a natural storyteller.
Courageously written by a women determined to allow her life to unfold with authenticity, Don't Go Away Sad is a testament to the resiliency of the spirit and the honesty of an unwavering eye.
352 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1998
298 people are currently reading
5146 people want to read
About the author
Joyce Maynard
58 books2,826 followersJoyce Maynard first came to national attention with the publication of her New York Times cover story “An Eighteen-Year-Old Looks Back on Life” in 1973, when she was a freshman at Yale. Since then, she has been a reporter and columnist for The New York Times, a syndicated newspaper columnist whose “Domestic Affairs” column appeared in more than fifty papers nationwide, a regular contributor to NPR. Her writing has also been published in national magazines, including O, The Oprah Magazine; Newsweek; The New York Times Magazine; Forbes; Salon; San Francisco Magazine, USA Weekly; and many more. She has appeared on Good Morning America, The Today Show, CNN, Hardball with Chris Matthews, Charlie Rose, and on Fresh Air. Essays of hers appear in numerous collections. She has been a fellow at Yaddo, UCross, and The MacDowell Colony, where she wrote her most recently published novel, Labor Day.
The author of many books of fiction and nonfiction, including the novel To Die For (in which she also plays the role of Nicole Kidman’s attorney) and the bestselling memoir, At Home in the World, Maynard makes her home in Mill Valley, California. Her novel, The Usual Rules—a story about surviving loss—has been a favorite of book club audiences of all ages, and was chosen by the American Library Association as one of the ten best books for young readers for 2003.
Joyce Maynard also runs the Lake Atitlan Writing Workshop in Guatemala, founded in 2002.
The author of many books of fiction and nonfiction, including the novel To Die For (in which she also plays the role of Nicole Kidman’s attorney) and the bestselling memoir, At Home in the World, Maynard makes her home in Mill Valley, California. Her novel, The Usual Rules—a story about surviving loss—has been a favorite of book club audiences of all ages, and was chosen by the American Library Association as one of the ten best books for young readers for 2003.
Joyce Maynard also runs the Lake Atitlan Writing Workshop in Guatemala, founded in 2002.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 466 reviews
September 28, 2018
In 2014, I read Joyce Maynard’s novel Labor Day, and really enjoyed her ability to weave a story. In 2017, after winning a goodreads “giveaway,” I read her Under the Influence, and shortly thereafter her memoir The Best of Us. Sometime along the way,
I read something about this earlier memoir, At Home in the World: A Memoir, and wanted to read it, but had somewhat conflicted feelings. So much had been said about this being a “tell-all” memoir of her relationship with J.D. Salinger, and al lot of what was said made this sound somewhat salacious. The truth is that this memoir is about her. Her experiences, her life, her childhood, and yes, some of her relationships, including the one with J.D. Salinger, her children, her flaws and more on display. Salinger is included for a relatively short period, with brief mentions in other points in this, her story about her life.
In the Preface to the 2013 edition, Maynard begins by saying: ”I was getting off a plane when I learned the news: J.D. Salinger was dead.”
Their relationship lasted eleven months, had been over for around forty years, but she was, in part, the woman he had tried to mold her into. She was already an author when he began writing to her; he courted her in the manner of his generation. ”I fell in love with words on a page, and transferred my affection easily and utterly to the man who wrote them.” His need for her escalated quickly to a desperation for all of her time, he couldn’t bear the time they were apart. And so she left college to move in with him.
When Joyce was growing up in Durham, New Hampshire, her mother wrote for Good Housekeeping magazine, and her father was an artist. Both were ”dazzlingly articulate parents who can talk in fully formed paragraphs about any aspect of English literature, religion, art, or politics” but her mother never talks about, or writes about her husband’s alcoholism. Seen through the eyes of today, that seems strange, after all it is something talked about now, but then it would have cast a shadow of shame over the whole family, and it would probably have made them outcasts.
As it was, it fell to Joyce to take care of him when he was ‘in his cups,’ or, as Joyce refers to it ”stormy.” ”I have friends, growing up, but my chief companion is my father.”
”In the fall of 1965, just before my twelfth birthday, I start keeping a diary. I write in it every night—entries that sometimes go on for five or six pages.”
Of course in the tradition of diaries, it holds all her deepest, darkest secrets.
”OCT. 11
…People are always such a disappointment… “
On December 8th, she writes candidly in her diary about her father’s drinking, without euphemisms for his drinking. When she goes to record her next entry she finds a letter, written by her mother, stuck inside the pages, in which she encourages her she must ”not even acknowledge my feelings to myself. She requires me to support her denial.”
There are many references to the era, old television shows, and the political goings on of the times, the music, the fashions that added a bit more to the aura, and having been to most of the places she talks about in this book, I could picture it all so easily.
There’s more, much more, but read this for its own sake, and not for the ties to Salinger. She has a story to tell and it’s worth reading, but it’s her story.
May 16, 2019
I think I've mentioned once, or many, times I'm a fan of Joyce Maynard. I've read a number of her books and find them comforting. I know that if I just can't get into a book, if I pick up one of her books, I'll be fine. But with this one, I was a bit hesitant to read it. I'm not sure why. I checked it out numerous times from my library, sending it back, unread. This time, I was determined.
I was going on a two week vacation and I couldn't drag lots of books with me. Well, it's a matter of how much I wanted to carry. So I knew I wanted a book I knew I would like. I turned to this one. I jumped in and was enthralled with the story of the author. She tells the story of essentially her growing up and finding her place. She also talks about how she met and her "relationship" with J.D. Salinger. I do think this was a big part of the book, but he was a big part of her life, so it's only natural this is discussed. She also talks about her life of getting married, having children, getting divorced, and writing this book.
Overall, I'm very glad I read this one. I jumped in and couldn't put it down for most of the book. I wanted to hear what happened next. At times, I felt bad for Ms. Maynard. Other times, I wanted to smack her and wished she stood up for herself. I'll not comment on what I think of the J.D. Salinger relationship or Ms. Maynard herself. I was agitated at some point and set the book aside for a few days. But I had to see where things ended. I found it most interesting when she talked about growing up, her parents, her relationship with her parents, the Salinger relationship, all the wonderful opportunities that presented themselves to her. But when she talked about her marriage, kids, and divorce...I just didn't want to hear about this. Is this my favorite of this authors? No. But it's a very interesting read and examination of ones early life. If anything, now I think I want to read Franny and Zooey. But I'll skip Catcher in the Rye.
I was going on a two week vacation and I couldn't drag lots of books with me. Well, it's a matter of how much I wanted to carry. So I knew I wanted a book I knew I would like. I turned to this one. I jumped in and was enthralled with the story of the author. She tells the story of essentially her growing up and finding her place. She also talks about how she met and her "relationship" with J.D. Salinger. I do think this was a big part of the book, but he was a big part of her life, so it's only natural this is discussed. She also talks about her life of getting married, having children, getting divorced, and writing this book.
Overall, I'm very glad I read this one. I jumped in and couldn't put it down for most of the book. I wanted to hear what happened next. At times, I felt bad for Ms. Maynard. Other times, I wanted to smack her and wished she stood up for herself. I'll not comment on what I think of the J.D. Salinger relationship or Ms. Maynard herself. I was agitated at some point and set the book aside for a few days. But I had to see where things ended. I found it most interesting when she talked about growing up, her parents, her relationship with her parents, the Salinger relationship, all the wonderful opportunities that presented themselves to her. But when she talked about her marriage, kids, and divorce...I just didn't want to hear about this. Is this my favorite of this authors? No. But it's a very interesting read and examination of ones early life. If anything, now I think I want to read Franny and Zooey. But I'll skip Catcher in the Rye.
October 11, 2015
QUICK UPDATE: Iris brought this review to my attention this morning. It's the first time I cried in my own review. --
Why? Because so much has changed. (I've never gone back to read my old reviews).
Joyce's life 'really' changed since this time. She got married moved closer to me -then moved again...(closer to my close friend from junior high school) --
Right after Joyce moved into her new home--Her husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He is cancer free now. (what a horrific hard journey)
Joyce has a new novel due out in Feb.
Don't laugh at this old review....(ok laugh) --It's me! what can I say?/!
"Does it hurt"? asked the Rabbit? ******OM****** If you want to know why I wrote ******OM******** READ the BOOK....THE ENTIRE BOOK and enjoy for yourself!!!!!!! A person would have to be half dead not to take something away for 'themselves' from this very personal memoir.
I KNEW I would love this book when at the beginning --Joyce quotes a passage from the very wonderful classic children's book: "The Veleteen Rabbit" Or How Toys Become Real by Margery Williams [my daughter Katy, now 32, played the part of 'The Veleteen Rabbit' when she was 6 years old at her private school]. The first night of production, the director of the school had to 'pull' Katy's 'two' hanging front teeth. She played an adorable 'toothless' Rabbit.
**REAL** Joyce Maynard is REAL. She had a story to tell. She told it well. I got value from reading it! THANK YOU, Joyce! (that's really all that needs to be said).
but since this is MY time-- I'll write more.
Joyce Maynard writes extraordinary --genuinely heart-wrenching & inspiring --
She SPEAKS from that place we know, (we feel), is honest!
Up until now, I had only read 'novels' by Joyce.
"Labor Day" was the first novel I read. I found the hard copy of the book (perfect condition-beautiful cover) --sitting on a bottom shelf at our local "Thrif-Box" store in Willow Glen (San Jose). All donations go to Stanford children's Hospital. I often make donations --plus I buy books to read also.
I paid $1 for Labor Day. It was NEW OFF THE PRESS.
I went home -read it. My first thoughts were: "Somebody was CRAZY to donate that book to the thrif-box". I would have wanted to keep it --and buy 5 more copies and give to friends to read. (shhhhhh---which I did)....
Don't get me started when I get on my 'promoting' something. lol
I knew NOTHING about Joyce Maynard. (other than I thought she was 'pretty' from her little picture).
Then I learned she lived in the Bay Area...
Then I learned ---from a friend whom I told to read her book ---that he knew her. That Joyce had helped his daughter with a college application.
THEN I learned she once had a relationship with Salinger. (this was a 'so-what' to me). It didn't register 'anything' in my head. (I'm slow)
I STILL had no interest in her memoir (but I was going to read any next novel she wrote). She's a heart-touching damn good storyteller!
The reason I read this memoir NOW was because I had an opportunity to engage with a 'conversation' with 'the author' (Joyce Maynard) --here on Goodreads --with other members of Goodreads who had read her books.
I will say now that Joyce Maynard was the best engaging author with our group of readers that I've experienced on this site. I'm sure she is busy ---but she did not act like she had a million things to do.
A full spread article came out on Joyce on our San Jose Mercury Newspaper on Sunday --a HUGE FULL PAGE spread on HER. (speaking of her new book 'AFTER HER')....etc.
but.... JOYCE MAYNARD was PRESENT with us. Joyce not only answered our questions ---but she shared more stories --she was open to OUR sharing WITH her. SHE was having fun. We were having fun.
I ordered her memoir when our 'conversations-on-goodreads' ended.
Here are a few more things I took away:
Without our voice --or speaking our truth --we have nothing!
I read this many times (I agree with Joyce) >>>> This is from her:
"One day I hope some feminist scholar will examine the way in which a woman's recounting her history is so ridiculed as self-absorbed and fundamentally unimportant." ....
Joyce goes on to say more about the female writer giving voice to a struggle they might be having --which is often dismissed as emotional, self indulgent and trival.
but a Male writer?? they are praised for their courage and searing honesty.
DAMN: Joyce wrote this book in the 90's -- but not much has changed in 2013. I'm reading this book TODAY in 2013 --finding the book current enough in the important areas (issues about eating disorders, relationships, struggles within a family, growing up, making mistakes, learning from them, children, sex, death, etc.) -- but in some ways its even MORE interesting reading this book NOW than I might have when Joyce first wrote it.
I've completed a few of the same challenges (which Joyce did in her book), myself.
While reading, (kindle for this book):
I was often 'cheering' for Joyce on her new jobs, (like a proud friend).
I enjoyed the visuals of her working at "The New York times" in 1976 --no cubicles with partitions of separation she tells us --but her desk sits in the middle of the newsroom. Old typewriters --ringing telephones --rushing copy boys.
Oh, how I wish today --many times I wish --to GO BACK to having NO CELL PHONES. NO i-anything ... NO Smart-anytings....
Joyce's yellow legal pad and writing long hand --'kinda sounds peaceful'!
I don't want to go much into the part about Joyce living with Salinger --(I read it --I get it --I'm complete myself) ... I saw the movie too.
but I do want to mention something she wrote when she first met 'Steve' (the man she marries & father of her 3 children).
She wrote something about him ---which I think is very important (EVEN TODAY) ---for ALL of us to know --about PEOPLE --in GENERAL --when we start to become 'friends'....(develop a more authentic give & take satisfying relationship):
She said this about STEVE: (RED FLAG for 'me')
"He is a person more concern with 'abstractions' than with human detail or stories. He doesn't ask to read what I write or to look at pictures of me growing up.".
NOTE: I'm 61 -- I'm STILL learning this RED FLAG lesson. I use to think the entire world could be my friend. (my dad died when I was 4 and my mom was almost never home after that),so I went looking for family & friends....believing if I was 'social' (which I was) --everyone would be my friend and love me.
...However -- NOT 'everyone' is the best FIT for RICH CONNECTION/FRIENDSHIP. I'm worthy 'myself' and can 'choose'.
Somehow, I've been lucky in marriage --(almost 35 years) ---but even a good marriage, it doesn't take away MY responsibility in the world. I still need to express MY voice and MY gifts. EACH new cross-road in this journey called 'life' seems like a challenge. Getting older with 'grace' is a frickin challenge for me. (not giving up -not falling into depression --fighting for my LIFE is more work) ---
After reading Joyce's BRAVE BOOK --
Can I REALLY not even 'ask' myself....."what's next for me"?
I'm asking...... (no answers yet)
****OM****
Why? Because so much has changed. (I've never gone back to read my old reviews).
Joyce's life 'really' changed since this time. She got married moved closer to me -then moved again...(closer to my close friend from junior high school) --
Right after Joyce moved into her new home--Her husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He is cancer free now. (what a horrific hard journey)
Joyce has a new novel due out in Feb.
Don't laugh at this old review....(ok laugh) --It's me! what can I say?/!
"Does it hurt"? asked the Rabbit? ******OM****** If you want to know why I wrote ******OM******** READ the BOOK....THE ENTIRE BOOK and enjoy for yourself!!!!!!! A person would have to be half dead not to take something away for 'themselves' from this very personal memoir.
I KNEW I would love this book when at the beginning --Joyce quotes a passage from the very wonderful classic children's book: "The Veleteen Rabbit" Or How Toys Become Real by Margery Williams [my daughter Katy, now 32, played the part of 'The Veleteen Rabbit' when she was 6 years old at her private school]. The first night of production, the director of the school had to 'pull' Katy's 'two' hanging front teeth. She played an adorable 'toothless' Rabbit.
**REAL** Joyce Maynard is REAL. She had a story to tell. She told it well. I got value from reading it! THANK YOU, Joyce! (that's really all that needs to be said).
but since this is MY time-- I'll write more.
Joyce Maynard writes extraordinary --genuinely heart-wrenching & inspiring --
She SPEAKS from that place we know, (we feel), is honest!
Up until now, I had only read 'novels' by Joyce.
"Labor Day" was the first novel I read. I found the hard copy of the book (perfect condition-beautiful cover) --sitting on a bottom shelf at our local "Thrif-Box" store in Willow Glen (San Jose). All donations go to Stanford children's Hospital. I often make donations --plus I buy books to read also.
I paid $1 for Labor Day. It was NEW OFF THE PRESS.
I went home -read it. My first thoughts were: "Somebody was CRAZY to donate that book to the thrif-box". I would have wanted to keep it --and buy 5 more copies and give to friends to read. (shhhhhh---which I did)....
Don't get me started when I get on my 'promoting' something. lol
I knew NOTHING about Joyce Maynard. (other than I thought she was 'pretty' from her little picture).
Then I learned she lived in the Bay Area...
Then I learned ---from a friend whom I told to read her book ---that he knew her. That Joyce had helped his daughter with a college application.
THEN I learned she once had a relationship with Salinger. (this was a 'so-what' to me). It didn't register 'anything' in my head. (I'm slow)
I STILL had no interest in her memoir (but I was going to read any next novel she wrote). She's a heart-touching damn good storyteller!
The reason I read this memoir NOW was because I had an opportunity to engage with a 'conversation' with 'the author' (Joyce Maynard) --here on Goodreads --with other members of Goodreads who had read her books.
I will say now that Joyce Maynard was the best engaging author with our group of readers that I've experienced on this site. I'm sure she is busy ---but she did not act like she had a million things to do.
A full spread article came out on Joyce on our San Jose Mercury Newspaper on Sunday --a HUGE FULL PAGE spread on HER. (speaking of her new book 'AFTER HER')....etc.
but.... JOYCE MAYNARD was PRESENT with us. Joyce not only answered our questions ---but she shared more stories --she was open to OUR sharing WITH her. SHE was having fun. We were having fun.
I ordered her memoir when our 'conversations-on-goodreads' ended.
Here are a few more things I took away:
Without our voice --or speaking our truth --we have nothing!
I read this many times (I agree with Joyce) >>>> This is from her:
"One day I hope some feminist scholar will examine the way in which a woman's recounting her history is so ridiculed as self-absorbed and fundamentally unimportant." ....
Joyce goes on to say more about the female writer giving voice to a struggle they might be having --which is often dismissed as emotional, self indulgent and trival.
but a Male writer?? they are praised for their courage and searing honesty.
DAMN: Joyce wrote this book in the 90's -- but not much has changed in 2013. I'm reading this book TODAY in 2013 --finding the book current enough in the important areas (issues about eating disorders, relationships, struggles within a family, growing up, making mistakes, learning from them, children, sex, death, etc.) -- but in some ways its even MORE interesting reading this book NOW than I might have when Joyce first wrote it.
I've completed a few of the same challenges (which Joyce did in her book), myself.
While reading, (kindle for this book):
I was often 'cheering' for Joyce on her new jobs, (like a proud friend).
I enjoyed the visuals of her working at "The New York times" in 1976 --no cubicles with partitions of separation she tells us --but her desk sits in the middle of the newsroom. Old typewriters --ringing telephones --rushing copy boys.
Oh, how I wish today --many times I wish --to GO BACK to having NO CELL PHONES. NO i-anything ... NO Smart-anytings....
Joyce's yellow legal pad and writing long hand --'kinda sounds peaceful'!
I don't want to go much into the part about Joyce living with Salinger --(I read it --I get it --I'm complete myself) ... I saw the movie too.
but I do want to mention something she wrote when she first met 'Steve' (the man she marries & father of her 3 children).
She wrote something about him ---which I think is very important (EVEN TODAY) ---for ALL of us to know --about PEOPLE --in GENERAL --when we start to become 'friends'....(develop a more authentic give & take satisfying relationship):
She said this about STEVE: (RED FLAG for 'me')
"He is a person more concern with 'abstractions' than with human detail or stories. He doesn't ask to read what I write or to look at pictures of me growing up.".
NOTE: I'm 61 -- I'm STILL learning this RED FLAG lesson. I use to think the entire world could be my friend. (my dad died when I was 4 and my mom was almost never home after that),so I went looking for family & friends....believing if I was 'social' (which I was) --everyone would be my friend and love me.
...However -- NOT 'everyone' is the best FIT for RICH CONNECTION/FRIENDSHIP. I'm worthy 'myself' and can 'choose'.
Somehow, I've been lucky in marriage --(almost 35 years) ---but even a good marriage, it doesn't take away MY responsibility in the world. I still need to express MY voice and MY gifts. EACH new cross-road in this journey called 'life' seems like a challenge. Getting older with 'grace' is a frickin challenge for me. (not giving up -not falling into depression --fighting for my LIFE is more work) ---
After reading Joyce's BRAVE BOOK --
Can I REALLY not even 'ask' myself....."what's next for me"?
I'm asking...... (no answers yet)
****OM****
February 27, 2013
My reaction to this book is mixed. Twenty years ago when I would happen upon Maynard's articles on the ups and downs of raising children, I really enjoyed her plucky but sufficiently self-deprecating storytelling style. I did not know anything else about the columnist. Reading At Home in the World is a bit like peeking around the curtain at the Wizard of Oz - interesting and disappointing at the same time.
The majority of the book is dedicated to dissembling her relationship with J.D. Salinger - and this memoir certainly taints my further reading of any of his works. While Maynard speaks very often about writing truthfully and how long it took her to achieve this, I think she still can't quite come out and say: 'I'm pissed and want to publicly lay out my case. Salinger was a lecherous old man who altered the course of my life and caused me misery'.
Maynard's memoir presents Salinger as a sanctimonious and arrogant ass-hole, who while espousing the goals of freedom from worldly desires and polluting influences, still desires (and is controlled by) that most basic of human interactions - sex - and with a string of girls half or one third his age. And while he eschews fame and publicity at this time, it is only this fame that provides him with a pool of young babes to woo with his erudite writing. There is an extended discussion of his raw food, homeopathic ways that leaves me screaming - eat a pizza, take two aspirin and call me when you wake up Joyce, this guy's a fraud!
One of course has to wonder why an intelligent (Yale no less) eighteen year old girl with great job and marriage prospects gets trapped by this fossil and of course we get the explanation in the form of alcoholism, sexual dysfunction and an overweening sense of one's importance on the part of the parents. While the older sister makes it out of this backdrop with lesser consequences, Joyce is apparently ripe for the picking by the potent combo of accomplished author/father figure. Joyce only states it clearly once in her memoir, but where the hell were her parents, sister, friends...when she was stuffing her cheeks like a squirrel with little more than sunflower seeds and popcorn isolated in time and place with the dinosaur? That's where the real family and community dysfunction lies - that no one would say - 'hey Joyce - this isn't healthy'. And why did it take so long and a boot in the pants from Salinger for Joyce to "get it".
Finally, we get a whirlwind treatment of her marriage to Steve (from her Yale days), a union which appears busted from the get-go. Her awakening sense of self unfortunately didn't occur until she was in the middle of her marriage and when she woke up, she didn't much like what she saw.
I was left wondering if, like the wizard of Oz, she didn't consciously or subconsciously develop these situations to provide fodder for her prose. While I appreciate her attempts at honesty and find her writing and observations interesting, I conclude the book with the desire to avoid reading anything further by Salinger or Maynard. Perhaps better not to know how the sausage is made.
The majority of the book is dedicated to dissembling her relationship with J.D. Salinger - and this memoir certainly taints my further reading of any of his works. While Maynard speaks very often about writing truthfully and how long it took her to achieve this, I think she still can't quite come out and say: 'I'm pissed and want to publicly lay out my case. Salinger was a lecherous old man who altered the course of my life and caused me misery'.
Maynard's memoir presents Salinger as a sanctimonious and arrogant ass-hole, who while espousing the goals of freedom from worldly desires and polluting influences, still desires (and is controlled by) that most basic of human interactions - sex - and with a string of girls half or one third his age. And while he eschews fame and publicity at this time, it is only this fame that provides him with a pool of young babes to woo with his erudite writing. There is an extended discussion of his raw food, homeopathic ways that leaves me screaming - eat a pizza, take two aspirin and call me when you wake up Joyce, this guy's a fraud!
One of course has to wonder why an intelligent (Yale no less) eighteen year old girl with great job and marriage prospects gets trapped by this fossil and of course we get the explanation in the form of alcoholism, sexual dysfunction and an overweening sense of one's importance on the part of the parents. While the older sister makes it out of this backdrop with lesser consequences, Joyce is apparently ripe for the picking by the potent combo of accomplished author/father figure. Joyce only states it clearly once in her memoir, but where the hell were her parents, sister, friends...when she was stuffing her cheeks like a squirrel with little more than sunflower seeds and popcorn isolated in time and place with the dinosaur? That's where the real family and community dysfunction lies - that no one would say - 'hey Joyce - this isn't healthy'. And why did it take so long and a boot in the pants from Salinger for Joyce to "get it".
Finally, we get a whirlwind treatment of her marriage to Steve (from her Yale days), a union which appears busted from the get-go. Her awakening sense of self unfortunately didn't occur until she was in the middle of her marriage and when she woke up, she didn't much like what she saw.
I was left wondering if, like the wizard of Oz, she didn't consciously or subconsciously develop these situations to provide fodder for her prose. While I appreciate her attempts at honesty and find her writing and observations interesting, I conclude the book with the desire to avoid reading anything further by Salinger or Maynard. Perhaps better not to know how the sausage is made.
September 22, 2013
Joyce Maynards's book, AT HOME IN THE WORLD, came out in 1998 and what I recall from the press that passed by my eyes back then was a "tell-all" by one of J.D. Salinger's mistresses. Stop right here. Nothing could be more misleading. The nine months of Maynard's living in Cornish, New Hampshire, with the celebrated author of Catcher in the Rye is central to the book. But that chapter fits in the context of a much larger story, Joyce Maynard's life as daughter of intellectual parents, her precocious ability to write and publish very early, and her major turning point at age 18, when she was a freshman at Yale. That year, April 23, 1972, to be exact, Joyce's image graced the New York Times Magazine and catapulted her to spokesperson for her (and as it happens, my) generation, children of the '60s/70s. Seeing that era through Joyce's eyes, an era which was pivotal for me but in very different ways, was fascinating.
What sticks with me are several things. The first is the drama and trauma that unfolded when Salinger—Jerry, as we come to know him—began writing letters to Joyce. He's 53, she's 18. The correspondence leads to their meeting, her dropping out of college, nearly sabotaging her writing career, and engaging in a relationship worthy of the French Theater of the Absurd. This is in no way to diminish the years of anguish that haunted Joyce when Jerry abruptly (though with many portentous signs) told her to leave and would never fully communicate with her, as friend, former lover, or even fellow literati. In fact, he was a bit destructive. I think today we might call him OCD. He certainly was stuck in a form of infantile narcissism - but I should let readers see if they agree with that.
Joyce is talented and sought after by book agents, magazine editors, and even Hollywood. How I envy her ability to crack the New York publishing scene so young. (However, the suffering that came of this is part of the story.) The second important thing I got out of Joyce's book was her admission of how much truth she left out of her articles back then, not always consciously, but often due to knowing what the media wanted. That makes me feel gratified for not loving women's magazines, then or now, not trusting even those who thought they were progressive (Ms. excepted - although I have not looked at that mag in years). Joyce wrote for the Hers column in the NYT. I can recall bristling at Anna Quindlen's too neatly packaged prose, who also wrote for Hers, although I know many women loved Quindlen. When Joyce's popular syndicated column, Domestic Affairs, carried the story of her marriage breakup, some newspapers dropped herDivorce? How un-Amercian-Dream. No, that is too real.
Joyce is excruciatingly real in this memoir. I used to feel bewildered when readers of my memoir told me how brave I was to write so honestly about personal aspects of my life. I didn't have any sense of courage egging me on. But now I can say the same of Maynard. She writes of her own failings and vulnerability with such stark realism, I wince at times for her. Perhaps my readers did the same for me.
"To write a memoir," I wrote in my journal recently, "is to get tightly wound up with oneself (and I know that bothers some readers), then to burn through that self." Memoir, in my experience, is a sort of conflagration of self, burning off the epidermis of our personae, only to allow new skin grafts—one hopes without the same fatal flaws.
At Home in the World starts in Joyce's early years, growing up half-Jewish (but a-religious) in New Hampshire—some 60 miles from where Salinger lived as a recluse. It takes the reader through important markers in her life. The last quarter of the book moves like a fact-paced thriller as the author unravels something about Jerry that she never would have suspected. Great read, this memoir. Well crafted. Recommend it highly.
June 30, 2010
This woman must have driven everyone around her absolutely nuts. What an odd mix of over achiever and total schmuck. I want to give her credit for portraying her life honestly, but I’m not sure I’m convinced that she is being sincere. She repeatedly discusses her continual inability to portray herself anywhere near reality despite many thinking she was in fact speaking from her heart. What exactly is supposed to make us think that this novel is any different? Quite frankly, by the end of the book, I felt a bit like she wrote this more than anything because she was once again out of money and needed a book advance. Whatever her intentions, there’s something about the way she tells her story that grates me the wrong way. She manages to make those around her seem at fault for her inability to get her own shit in order. She never directly says anything critical, but the judgment is there none the less. If one chooses to let others define who they are, then they forfeit the right to disagree with who others make them out to be. Perhaps the fact that the book evoked such a reaction in me is a sign that it accomplished something, although I don’t know what the something would be.
March 24, 2022
There is a certain amount of trust involved in reading a memoir. In order to fully engage with the story, you have to take the author at his or her word. I am not saying that you shouldn't be critical; certainly not. But in a memoir where it is very clear that two very different sides of a story exist, you need to be open-minded to both, but particularly to that of the author whose story you are reading. This was quite hard in this instance. Let me explain.
I have been a fan of J.D. Salinger since I was a teenager. No, wait. Let me rephrase that: I have been a massive fan of The Catcher in the Rye since I was a teenager. And a fan of Holden Caulfield. Like many a teenager, I suppose, I felt the character of Holden spoke to me. He described so accurately the feelings so many teenagers struggled with, providing a sense of comfort about a hypocritical world between the pages of a short but ground-breaking novel. Of course, The Catcher in the Rye made me want to read more by Salinger, so I sought out the rest of his work and became a fan of his writing. I was very aware of the fact that Salinger lived an isolated life and despite being fascinated by that, I never reached for a biography written about him. In a way, I paid him the respect of allowing his life to be private. Now, having read Joyce Maynard's memoir, in which she recounts her short affair with Salinger, I have been forced to ponder on the subject of privacy and question whether the privacy of one person should be respected when their actions have so affected the life of another person; a person who wants to tell their story.
Maynard was by no means a stranger to me when I came across her memoir, At Home in the World. I really like her writing and have read many of her works of fiction. I thought Labor Day, in particular, was a beautiful novel. So I went into the reading of this memoir with a fondness for both writers but also with a particular interest in reading Maynard's story.
At Home in the World was first published in 1998, when Maynard was 44 years old. It is not just a tell-all about the affair Maynard had with Salinger, but more a story of her life: her own childhood and upbringing; her relationship with her parents and her sister, Rona; her life as a student in Yale; her love of writing; her first marriage and the three children that she gave birth to; her experiences of motherhood and her life as a writer. Maynard makes a point of mentioning this in the afterword of this book: While this book does recount the brief period of time from when Salinger entered her life to when he asked her to leave his, and the lifelong effect it had on her, this is not a story about Salinger. This is Maynard's story, into which Salinger invited himself.
Of course, many people will pick up this book to learn more about that very relationship and they won't be disappointed. Maynard's memoir does include all the details of how Salinger sought her out after an article of hers, accompanied by her picture, was published by New York Times Magazine. She recounts their correspondence by letter, their discussions about writing, fame, success, family and life, among many other topics. Maynard tells us about her visits to Salinger's home before she was eventually invited to live with him. She gives us some insight into their sexual relationship which, for some, will be particularly difficult to read about. She details her decision to leave Yale University to move deeper into the reclusive world Salinger inhabited, alienating herself from her friends and, eventually, her family. At the time, Maynard was 18 years old and Salinger was 53.
We are also presented with details of the character of Salinger, as seen through the eyes of Maynard. We learn about his strange ways - his views on society and the world of publishing and particularly his bizarre eating habits, including how he shows Maynard how to purge after eating - as well as his softer moments. We are given insight into his family life and his relationship with his children. But this isn't some exploitative expose of Salinger; far from it. As I have already mentioned, this memoir is so much more about Maynard than it is about Salinger.
There is so much I loved about this book. I loved hearing about Maynard's upbringing, with an alcoholic father and a mother who pushed her into writing so Maynard could have all the fame and the success she didn't have. I loved how Maynard described her relationship with her sister, one that was often riddled with tension and strain. I loved reading about Maynard's views on motherhood and, as a new parent, found solace in her words:
"It's not only children who grow. Parents do, too. As much as we watch to see what children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself."
I particularly loved how fearless Maynard was in describing, in detail, her teenage insecurities and moments of self-doubt and feelings of alienation. And I love that despite experiencing a relationship, both emotional and sexual, that affected her greatly, Maynard was able to use the experience to become a stronger and wiser female voice. Her journey has been a triumphant one.
While critics of this book have said Maynard was "shameless" in her publication of this memoir, I disagree. What is shameless about using your voice? As well as needing to justify herself, Maynard had a story to tell - her story - and everyone should possess license to speak. Many people have criticised Maynard for invading Salinger's privacy in her publication of her story, but I also refute these claims. Salinger believed that because he shunned the world, he should be exempt from scrutiny and criticism. Did Maynard owe him her silence because he demanded not to be spoken about? I truly believe that she owed him nothing. As her youngest son later wrote in response to a letter from a critic, Maynard had an experience that caused her great pain and affected her profoundly, and she chose to express this in writing.
Despite her intelligence, Maynard was a vulnerable and insecure 18 year old who, like many of us, fell in love with a character in a book; a character who spoke to her at a time when she felt alone. Then, when given the opportunity, she fell in love with a voice on a page; the voice behind the character of Holden Caulfield. She worshipped Salinger. She alienated herself from everything for him. She grafted his view of how a person should be so utterly onto her sense of self that, for a time, she no longer knew who she was, separate from Salinger. He told her who she should be and she tried desperately to be that person for him. When he instructed her to exit his life as quickly as he had summoned her to enter it, Salinger broke Maynard. And not speaking about that would have done as much damage as speaking about it seems to have done.
For twenty-five years Maynard's voice remained silent. I, among so many others, am so glad that she decided to tell her story. This memoir is truly remarkable. It is compelling and honest, poignant and disturbing. It is a powerful piece of work that shows a brilliant writer's incredible courage in exposing herself completely and unapologetically. Amazing.
I have been a fan of J.D. Salinger since I was a teenager. No, wait. Let me rephrase that: I have been a massive fan of The Catcher in the Rye since I was a teenager. And a fan of Holden Caulfield. Like many a teenager, I suppose, I felt the character of Holden spoke to me. He described so accurately the feelings so many teenagers struggled with, providing a sense of comfort about a hypocritical world between the pages of a short but ground-breaking novel. Of course, The Catcher in the Rye made me want to read more by Salinger, so I sought out the rest of his work and became a fan of his writing. I was very aware of the fact that Salinger lived an isolated life and despite being fascinated by that, I never reached for a biography written about him. In a way, I paid him the respect of allowing his life to be private. Now, having read Joyce Maynard's memoir, in which she recounts her short affair with Salinger, I have been forced to ponder on the subject of privacy and question whether the privacy of one person should be respected when their actions have so affected the life of another person; a person who wants to tell their story.
Maynard was by no means a stranger to me when I came across her memoir, At Home in the World. I really like her writing and have read many of her works of fiction. I thought Labor Day, in particular, was a beautiful novel. So I went into the reading of this memoir with a fondness for both writers but also with a particular interest in reading Maynard's story.
At Home in the World was first published in 1998, when Maynard was 44 years old. It is not just a tell-all about the affair Maynard had with Salinger, but more a story of her life: her own childhood and upbringing; her relationship with her parents and her sister, Rona; her life as a student in Yale; her love of writing; her first marriage and the three children that she gave birth to; her experiences of motherhood and her life as a writer. Maynard makes a point of mentioning this in the afterword of this book: While this book does recount the brief period of time from when Salinger entered her life to when he asked her to leave his, and the lifelong effect it had on her, this is not a story about Salinger. This is Maynard's story, into which Salinger invited himself.
Of course, many people will pick up this book to learn more about that very relationship and they won't be disappointed. Maynard's memoir does include all the details of how Salinger sought her out after an article of hers, accompanied by her picture, was published by New York Times Magazine. She recounts their correspondence by letter, their discussions about writing, fame, success, family and life, among many other topics. Maynard tells us about her visits to Salinger's home before she was eventually invited to live with him. She gives us some insight into their sexual relationship which, for some, will be particularly difficult to read about. She details her decision to leave Yale University to move deeper into the reclusive world Salinger inhabited, alienating herself from her friends and, eventually, her family. At the time, Maynard was 18 years old and Salinger was 53.
We are also presented with details of the character of Salinger, as seen through the eyes of Maynard. We learn about his strange ways - his views on society and the world of publishing and particularly his bizarre eating habits, including how he shows Maynard how to purge after eating - as well as his softer moments. We are given insight into his family life and his relationship with his children. But this isn't some exploitative expose of Salinger; far from it. As I have already mentioned, this memoir is so much more about Maynard than it is about Salinger.
There is so much I loved about this book. I loved hearing about Maynard's upbringing, with an alcoholic father and a mother who pushed her into writing so Maynard could have all the fame and the success she didn't have. I loved how Maynard described her relationship with her sister, one that was often riddled with tension and strain. I loved reading about Maynard's views on motherhood and, as a new parent, found solace in her words:
"It's not only children who grow. Parents do, too. As much as we watch to see what children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself."
I particularly loved how fearless Maynard was in describing, in detail, her teenage insecurities and moments of self-doubt and feelings of alienation. And I love that despite experiencing a relationship, both emotional and sexual, that affected her greatly, Maynard was able to use the experience to become a stronger and wiser female voice. Her journey has been a triumphant one.
While critics of this book have said Maynard was "shameless" in her publication of this memoir, I disagree. What is shameless about using your voice? As well as needing to justify herself, Maynard had a story to tell - her story - and everyone should possess license to speak. Many people have criticised Maynard for invading Salinger's privacy in her publication of her story, but I also refute these claims. Salinger believed that because he shunned the world, he should be exempt from scrutiny and criticism. Did Maynard owe him her silence because he demanded not to be spoken about? I truly believe that she owed him nothing. As her youngest son later wrote in response to a letter from a critic, Maynard had an experience that caused her great pain and affected her profoundly, and she chose to express this in writing.
Despite her intelligence, Maynard was a vulnerable and insecure 18 year old who, like many of us, fell in love with a character in a book; a character who spoke to her at a time when she felt alone. Then, when given the opportunity, she fell in love with a voice on a page; the voice behind the character of Holden Caulfield. She worshipped Salinger. She alienated herself from everything for him. She grafted his view of how a person should be so utterly onto her sense of self that, for a time, she no longer knew who she was, separate from Salinger. He told her who she should be and she tried desperately to be that person for him. When he instructed her to exit his life as quickly as he had summoned her to enter it, Salinger broke Maynard. And not speaking about that would have done as much damage as speaking about it seems to have done.
For twenty-five years Maynard's voice remained silent. I, among so many others, am so glad that she decided to tell her story. This memoir is truly remarkable. It is compelling and honest, poignant and disturbing. It is a powerful piece of work that shows a brilliant writer's incredible courage in exposing herself completely and unapologetically. Amazing.
October 21, 2009
This memoir is the story of author Joyce Maynard's life, focusing mostly on her romantic relationship with J.D. Salinger (yes, the one who wrote Catcher in the Rye). The book covers in great detail, leaving out NOTHING, the bizarre romance between Maynard, a 19-year old Yale freshman, and Salinger, a 53-year old recluse. By the end of this book, I felt that I had spent hours reading a very long issue of a grocery tabloid. There are personal details about both authors' lives that might be juicy gossip, but are not at all interesting or inspiring. By the end of this book, I did not like either author. What I found interesting was my own reaction. I have on my 'to read' list books by both authors - Maynard's book, The Usual Rules (a 4.05 goodreads rating!) and Salinger's Franny and Zooey. After reading this memoir, I was toying with the idea of getting rid of both books, after all, too many books, not enough time. But, just because I don't agree with how a person lives their life or their values, doesn't mean that they aren't a great writer. We have this perverse fascination with authors, actors, politicians, etc. in the spotlight. We want to know everything about them, when what happens in their personal lives is not necessarily a reflection of their work.
On a positive note, this book was our October bookclub read. Although I disliked the book, the discussion was great and lasted many hours. The book raises many issues - dating someone who is 35 years older, making the same mistakes as our parents, why do authors write, etc. - very interesting topics!
On a positive note, this book was our October bookclub read. Although I disliked the book, the discussion was great and lasted many hours. The book raises many issues - dating someone who is 35 years older, making the same mistakes as our parents, why do authors write, etc. - very interesting topics!
October 12, 2017
Maynard is a very good writer, and in this long memoir, she focuses her story mostly on the her teen years until she is into middle age. She's achieved quite a lot of fame in her writing, through her screenplays, novel writing, long career as reporter, syndicated columnist.
How absurd that anyone would attack her for writing about her relationship with JD Salinger when he was 53 and she a teenager. It seems her critics couldn't attack her writing or recollections effectively, so they have gone after her for including the part of her life that involved Salinger, as though she needed his permission first.
Her recollections of Salinger strike me as painstakingly remembered. He was obviously an unhappy man, not very concerned about the hurt he did to the young women he pursued by misleading them about his feelings, a pursuit he continued well into his seventies apparently. A cad, in the old fashioned sense. Salinger died recently. I don't think he publicly commented on this book. I doubt that he could have made much of a defense having to do with the teenagers and young women he seduced.
I've been an unflagging Salinger fan since reading Catcher at age 12. I am still fond of Holden, but I think the author who created him was a complicated, often mean-spirited man.
Maynard's writings about her broken marriage, her many career triumphs, and her children are strong and not overshadowed by her writing about Salinger. I admit, I picked up the book to read about Salinger, who's only in about a fourth of the book. Maynard's story itself is so compelling, I read the whole book in about three evenings after work.
How absurd that anyone would attack her for writing about her relationship with JD Salinger when he was 53 and she a teenager. It seems her critics couldn't attack her writing or recollections effectively, so they have gone after her for including the part of her life that involved Salinger, as though she needed his permission first.
Her recollections of Salinger strike me as painstakingly remembered. He was obviously an unhappy man, not very concerned about the hurt he did to the young women he pursued by misleading them about his feelings, a pursuit he continued well into his seventies apparently. A cad, in the old fashioned sense. Salinger died recently. I don't think he publicly commented on this book. I doubt that he could have made much of a defense having to do with the teenagers and young women he seduced.
I've been an unflagging Salinger fan since reading Catcher at age 12. I am still fond of Holden, but I think the author who created him was a complicated, often mean-spirited man.
Maynard's writings about her broken marriage, her many career triumphs, and her children are strong and not overshadowed by her writing about Salinger. I admit, I picked up the book to read about Salinger, who's only in about a fourth of the book. Maynard's story itself is so compelling, I read the whole book in about three evenings after work.
March 4, 2011
First of all, she seems as at home in the world as an elf, make that the restless spirit of an elf who died badly. This book was super-draining to read, mostly because of how endlessly interested she STILL is in her very brief relationship w/ JD Salinger. She would have had more fun w/ a turnip, it seems, and yet somehow this relatively short period in her life became the alpha and omega of her entire existence. The best parts of the book are about her parents, vivid, complex renderings. All else had the texture of complaint, seemed because of or in spite of or in lieu of **the relationship**.
I guess I felt sorry for her, but then that was hard to square w/ feeling jealous of her flagrantly cavalier attitude toward all of the wonderful writing opportunities ad privileges that came her way!
I do think she has every right to the write this story, that it's as much her story as his, and I do NOT agree w/ those who feel she exploited him, his fame, whatever for her gain. No, no, no. But I feel sorry that she seems to need the story so badly. And at the end, I wondered where the wise, whole, real-life woman who wrote the epilogue had been hiding when all of this was happening? Couldn't she have helped the one who wrote the story-- to hoist it up out of the mires, air it out a bit, transform anything that could be transformed (burn the rest)? Or better yet, couldn't she--even a younger version of herself--have helped the woman who lived the story from living it?
I guess I felt sorry for her, but then that was hard to square w/ feeling jealous of her flagrantly cavalier attitude toward all of the wonderful writing opportunities ad privileges that came her way!
I do think she has every right to the write this story, that it's as much her story as his, and I do NOT agree w/ those who feel she exploited him, his fame, whatever for her gain. No, no, no. But I feel sorry that she seems to need the story so badly. And at the end, I wondered where the wise, whole, real-life woman who wrote the epilogue had been hiding when all of this was happening? Couldn't she have helped the one who wrote the story-- to hoist it up out of the mires, air it out a bit, transform anything that could be transformed (burn the rest)? Or better yet, couldn't she--even a younger version of herself--have helped the woman who lived the story from living it?
December 11, 2019
This book was truly captivating, yet I sort of wished I had never read it. There was something too creepy about J.D. Salinger, who came across as a bizarre bore, and something too pathetically naive and needy about Joyce Maynard. Considering her childhood, it was not surprising that the author was thrilled she had supposedly found a soulmate who was much older, a man who happened to be a very famous writer,too. The fact she was anorexic going into the relationship could also explain why she would agree to adhere to her soulmate's incredibly yucky diet, even though she was a teenager.
A teenager. Yes, J. D. Salinger liked teenagers. Some of the things mentioned offhand in the story makes one wonder if he wasn’t a downright closet pervert, but didn’t want to be exposed, so he made sure to stick with girls of legal age. When Ms. Maynard first met him, she was wearing a homemade dress that was more suited for a first-grader, than a Yale freshman, complete with the ABCs on it. Plus, starving herself left her built more like a boy than a young woman.
In an article she had written for the New York Times in 1972, entitled An Eighteen Year Old Looks Back on Life, she was named as a voice of contemporary youths, the voice of those born in 1953. Teenagers who were supposedly made “old” before their time, due to all that went on in the world while they were growing up. That apparently went to Joyce Maynard’s head and she decided to quit Yale, move in with a man old enough to be her father, and spend Saturday nights dancing with him in front of the TV while watching Lawrence Welk. Yes, she was definitely the perfect example of her generation, and getting older by the minute!
Besides suffering from anorexia, Ms. Maynard also had an alcoholic father and a controlling mother who had a poor sense of boundaries. Jerry Salinger was a middle-aged author who hadn’t published a book in years, a reclusive man who seemed to dislike and harshly judge most people, a man obviously hell-bent on controlling Joyce Maynard’s life and thoughts. Or maybe he was just trying to suffocate her. Suffocate her youth, her ambitions, her writing talent, her own thoughts and desires. Maybe the people he didn’t like the most were women.
When he finally breaks up with her during a beach vacation, she unfortunately did not have the sense to shout for joy and go order a pizza, with ice cream on top. No, she still clung to the belief that they were destined to be together, have children, and, I guess, dance in front of the TV forever on Saturday nights when Lawrence Welk was on. Only later does she find out she was never special to him, and that there had been other teenage girlfriends he probably said the same sort of garbage to, other girls who clung to him and his weird ways. Girls with low self-esteem, like Ms. Maynard.
Well, she then goes on and buys a place out in the country and lives like a little old lady for a while; marries a man closer to her age she hardly knew, a man who instantly proposes that they get married and have children; and has three kids with that man, before they divorce. As it sounds, being a mother saved her, made her a lot smarter, took her outside of the world in her mind. J. D. Salinger would eventually marry a nurse much younger than him. No surprise there. It was like John Updike eventually marrying a woman who was like a mommy and daddy to him. Obviously, women hating writers like to make sure they will be taken care of in their old age . . . by a woman. And isn’t it ironic . . . don’t you think?
And thank you, Alanis Morissette, for that question. Talking about Ms. Morissette’s music, it’s too bad Joyce Maynard didn’t pen something like You Oughta Know about J. D. Salinger after he broke up with her. But women and the world in the 1970s were very different than women and the world in the 1990s. That’s one thing this book will clearly teach a reader who is not aware of the difference between those two decades . . . although women with low self-esteem and shaky identities really aren’t that much different, regardless of the decades in which they grow up.
An’ a one, an’ a two, Alanis . . . .
A teenager. Yes, J. D. Salinger liked teenagers. Some of the things mentioned offhand in the story makes one wonder if he wasn’t a downright closet pervert, but didn’t want to be exposed, so he made sure to stick with girls of legal age. When Ms. Maynard first met him, she was wearing a homemade dress that was more suited for a first-grader, than a Yale freshman, complete with the ABCs on it. Plus, starving herself left her built more like a boy than a young woman.
In an article she had written for the New York Times in 1972, entitled An Eighteen Year Old Looks Back on Life, she was named as a voice of contemporary youths, the voice of those born in 1953. Teenagers who were supposedly made “old” before their time, due to all that went on in the world while they were growing up. That apparently went to Joyce Maynard’s head and she decided to quit Yale, move in with a man old enough to be her father, and spend Saturday nights dancing with him in front of the TV while watching Lawrence Welk. Yes, she was definitely the perfect example of her generation, and getting older by the minute!
Besides suffering from anorexia, Ms. Maynard also had an alcoholic father and a controlling mother who had a poor sense of boundaries. Jerry Salinger was a middle-aged author who hadn’t published a book in years, a reclusive man who seemed to dislike and harshly judge most people, a man obviously hell-bent on controlling Joyce Maynard’s life and thoughts. Or maybe he was just trying to suffocate her. Suffocate her youth, her ambitions, her writing talent, her own thoughts and desires. Maybe the people he didn’t like the most were women.
When he finally breaks up with her during a beach vacation, she unfortunately did not have the sense to shout for joy and go order a pizza, with ice cream on top. No, she still clung to the belief that they were destined to be together, have children, and, I guess, dance in front of the TV forever on Saturday nights when Lawrence Welk was on. Only later does she find out she was never special to him, and that there had been other teenage girlfriends he probably said the same sort of garbage to, other girls who clung to him and his weird ways. Girls with low self-esteem, like Ms. Maynard.
Well, she then goes on and buys a place out in the country and lives like a little old lady for a while; marries a man closer to her age she hardly knew, a man who instantly proposes that they get married and have children; and has three kids with that man, before they divorce. As it sounds, being a mother saved her, made her a lot smarter, took her outside of the world in her mind. J. D. Salinger would eventually marry a nurse much younger than him. No surprise there. It was like John Updike eventually marrying a woman who was like a mommy and daddy to him. Obviously, women hating writers like to make sure they will be taken care of in their old age . . . by a woman. And isn’t it ironic . . . don’t you think?
And thank you, Alanis Morissette, for that question. Talking about Ms. Morissette’s music, it’s too bad Joyce Maynard didn’t pen something like You Oughta Know about J. D. Salinger after he broke up with her. But women and the world in the 1970s were very different than women and the world in the 1990s. That’s one thing this book will clearly teach a reader who is not aware of the difference between those two decades . . . although women with low self-esteem and shaky identities really aren’t that much different, regardless of the decades in which they grow up.
An’ a one, an’ a two, Alanis . . . .
September 1, 2010
'At Home in the World,' easily one of the best memoirs I have read in a long, long while. Heck, maybe even ONE of the best. It deals with writer Joyce Maynard's affair with JD Salinger at eighteen and how his influence and ultimately his abandonment of her (completely brutal and heartless) shaped not only her life for years to come, but affected everything else, her relationships, her writing etc etc.
This book was stunning and Joyce Maynard has such a easy, engaging voice. She really doesn't mince words and or sugar coat things. She's brutal in her honesty and in her imperfections. The portrait she paints of Salinger is anything but pretty. It's a tough book to get through, if only because of Maynard's unflinching look into every nuance of her own life (no matter how real.) I couldn't put this book down. I read it in three days flat and was more than just a little heartbroken to see it go. Brilliant stuff. I wanted to cry while reading the ending. This book was cathartic. As a woman, as a writer as a person I related to a lot of this. Its so human, so real its pretty much impossible not to, regardless of who you are
This book was stunning and Joyce Maynard has such a easy, engaging voice. She really doesn't mince words and or sugar coat things. She's brutal in her honesty and in her imperfections. The portrait she paints of Salinger is anything but pretty. It's a tough book to get through, if only because of Maynard's unflinching look into every nuance of her own life (no matter how real.) I couldn't put this book down. I read it in three days flat and was more than just a little heartbroken to see it go. Brilliant stuff. I wanted to cry while reading the ending. This book was cathartic. As a woman, as a writer as a person I related to a lot of this. Its so human, so real its pretty much impossible not to, regardless of who you are
May 20, 2012
After reading a recent NYT article by Joyce Maynard about her home in San Marcos la Laguna, Lake Atitlan, Guatemala (a house a bunch of my friends rented last Thanksgiving), I was inspired to read her memoir. It consumed me for five days, finally causing me to start and finish a whole book instead of just reading bits of several different books offhandedly. Well-crafted writing + intriguing (nonfiction) plot and characters... Joyce wrote a piece for the New York Times Magazine called "An Eighteen Year Old Looks Back on Life," which compelled reclusive famous author J.D. Salinger to write her a letter. They corresponded for a while, met in person and she ended up moving to his house in New Hampshire for the duration of their 10-month relationship. He was 53 at the time. Joyce received a lot of criticism from the literary community for "exploiting" Salinger and going against his wishes for total privacy and silence. I applaud her! Salinger is a big part of the story she tells, but it is her story to tell, and she does, with honesty, love and openness.
March 21, 2018
I read this book years ago, not long after it was published. I was intrigued because Ms. Maynard had an affair with J.D. Salinger. I had thoroughly enjoyed "The Catcher in the Rye" and wanted to have an insider view. It wasn't what I expected but fascinating nonetheless.
Ms. Maynard met J.D. Salinger while she was attending University. He made a play for her and she was flattered but he was substantially older than she (I think it was around 30 years gap but don't quote me). He pursued her until she "surrendered" to his charm...however, his adoration lasted long enough to get her hooked. She dropped out of school at his behest and moved in to his remote home. Well, things went from bad to rotten, he was a narcissistic alcoholic, who needed an audience and he had selected her. It was very bleak. The mental games that he played bordered on terrifying. He was relentless in trying to undermine her. At first, he pretended to want to help her in her writing but eventually he wouldn't allow her to write. He refused to let her leave him alone and yet, he liked living as a hermit. Thus she became his hostage. Yes, it was dark and bleak. He had very limited interaction with his adult children, which was primarily their choice. He was so caustic that they couldn't be around his negativity.
Then, something happened, she finally saw her life in focus and Salinger dumped her. She escaped his control. The messages of that time together played like old tapes in her head. However, she is a survivor, she looked at the lies she had believed and fought for victory. One of the things that was just utterly bizarre about the story was the fact, that Salinger had been intrigued by the fact that when he first saw her pictured in a newspaper, she had been wearing a man's watch. Such an oddity to fixate upon making me wonder, if she hadn't chosen to wear it, would she been entangled in his web?
There is more to the storyline that I haven't incorporated, if you read the blurb, you can take it from there. Frankly, I don't really remember those parts at all. I do know that we pick people to be in our lives based on our past history. If we are exposed to dysfunction as children, we are quite likely to pick a partner, who is dysfunctional often in the same areas of their life, that is until we heal. This book was very honest. Its appeal was great because Ms. Maynard did move past her pain and her insights were invaluable to me as a reader.
Ms. Maynard met J.D. Salinger while she was attending University. He made a play for her and she was flattered but he was substantially older than she (I think it was around 30 years gap but don't quote me). He pursued her until she "surrendered" to his charm...however, his adoration lasted long enough to get her hooked. She dropped out of school at his behest and moved in to his remote home. Well, things went from bad to rotten, he was a narcissistic alcoholic, who needed an audience and he had selected her. It was very bleak. The mental games that he played bordered on terrifying. He was relentless in trying to undermine her. At first, he pretended to want to help her in her writing but eventually he wouldn't allow her to write. He refused to let her leave him alone and yet, he liked living as a hermit. Thus she became his hostage. Yes, it was dark and bleak. He had very limited interaction with his adult children, which was primarily their choice. He was so caustic that they couldn't be around his negativity.
Then, something happened, she finally saw her life in focus and Salinger dumped her. She escaped his control. The messages of that time together played like old tapes in her head. However, she is a survivor, she looked at the lies she had believed and fought for victory. One of the things that was just utterly bizarre about the story was the fact, that Salinger had been intrigued by the fact that when he first saw her pictured in a newspaper, she had been wearing a man's watch. Such an oddity to fixate upon making me wonder, if she hadn't chosen to wear it, would she been entangled in his web?
There is more to the storyline that I haven't incorporated, if you read the blurb, you can take it from there. Frankly, I don't really remember those parts at all. I do know that we pick people to be in our lives based on our past history. If we are exposed to dysfunction as children, we are quite likely to pick a partner, who is dysfunctional often in the same areas of their life, that is until we heal. This book was very honest. Its appeal was great because Ms. Maynard did move past her pain and her insights were invaluable to me as a reader.
March 30, 2014
Memoir of author Joyce Maynard's tumultuous life, becoming a writer at an early age she catches the attention of the famous author JD Salinger ( Catcher in the Rye) who begins corresponding with her through letters that lead to a relationship between the two in 1972 when she was a student at Yale and he was 35 years her senior. This book is written years later , when after her marriage and three children she learns of Salinger's history of a series of relationships similar to the one they had and that took her many years to come to terms with. I liked this book more than I expected to. Joyce Maynard's book Labor Day was rereleased this year and made into a movie. I'm glad she is still having success. JDS was a jerk. 4 stars
April 2, 2018
Enjoyed this book very much!
For me personally, it actually had little to do with J.D. Salinger, but more so a portrayal of a very brave, talented woman, Joyce Maynard.
It was a slow read for me. Not sure why. It is not difficult to read. But felt that certain parts needed time to think over them before moving on.
Was, of course, intriguing to have an insight in Salinger's personal life, yet Maynard's life was more captivating to read about.
For me personally, it actually had little to do with J.D. Salinger, but more so a portrayal of a very brave, talented woman, Joyce Maynard.
It was a slow read for me. Not sure why. It is not difficult to read. But felt that certain parts needed time to think over them before moving on.
Was, of course, intriguing to have an insight in Salinger's personal life, yet Maynard's life was more captivating to read about.
October 12, 2016
The New York Times Book Review called Joyce Maynard's memoir At Home in the World disturbing. I would add depressing. I bought the book because of her relationship with J. D. Salinger, which I was unaware of until recently. She didn't get to her initial contact with Salinger until page 71. The pages preceding, after an Introduction, cover her childhood, her relationship with her parents and older sister, her entrance into Yale, and the success of an article she publishes in the The New York Times Magazine, which catapults her into an amazing career as a writer and journalist at the early age of eighteen.
It is this article that captures the interest of Salinger, whose letter arrives among a deluge of others expressing either praise or anger, and including congratulations and invitations from editors and TV producers. Salinger approaches her as a type of experienced advising mentor who appreciates and wants to foster her exceptional talent. She answers immediately. Their correspondence begins in late April, and increases at a rapid pace during the remaining four weeks of the Yale spring semester, until they are writing almost daily. In May, Salinger gives Maynard his phone number, tells her to call, collect. She does. The first of many phone conversations, while the letters continue.
Maynard takes a summer job with the Times as an editorial writer. But before she moves into her no-rent house-sitting dog-walking brownstone, she determines to meet Jerry, as she is now calling him. Ten days after she begins her Times job, Jerry drives five hours to New York to pick her up for a Fourth of July weekend at his New Hampshire house. She gets a book contract. At the beginning of August, leaves it all to move in with Salinger.
Eleven months and 137 pages later, the relationship is over. Joyce's book is published. She buys a car and a house in New Hampshire, near Jerry and her parents, and resumes her writing career. She marries, becomes a mother, multi-tasking like crazy to be an exemplary wife, mother, and writer, as her mother was and raised her to be. I think Good, she's getting herself together. Now she'll do something with her talent and many skills, and seemingly never-drying-up opportunities. Wrong. We go from depressing to horrifying. I find myself exclaiming out loud, "Gods. My god!"
It's not a "spoiler" to say that Maynard comes out on top in the end. Her best-selling books are obvious evidence. I just wish I could feel better about it. I'm not a reader of memoirs. I'm not sure of the difference between them and autobiographies, which I don't read either. It's a matter of mistrust mainly. It seems inevitable to me that a person writing about her- or himself is going to color events and people according to the author's personality, history, and point in writing. Joyce Maynard does as honest a job as I suppose can be done when writing about the events of one's life and one's part in those events. She doesn't strum harp strings, play for easy emotions. She's a trained journalist, writes cleanly, describing the action and words with little to no editorializing. None needed; the actions and words are powerful enough on their own to convey to the reader the impact on Joyce. She doesn't spare herself, at least as far as we know. But why, I ask myself, does one write a memoir or autobiography? The simple answer is, to tell one's story. Why? One reason comes to mind, a common one: Because one is famous, a public figure, and that fame has made that person of interest to the public, thus given them book-selling power. But this is not Joyce Maynard's reason. Without J. D. Salinger, she is not of herself famous or fascinating enough to warrant a memoir or autobiography. As she pretty much states, she is finally bringing to resolution and closure a painful, shattering time in her life. So in a way, this book is a work of catharsis, a kind of purging. But the ghost that hangs over it is not that of J. D. Salinger. It is haunted by the shadows of Joyce Maynard's parents.
July 16, 2022
Reading this book now vs when it was published allowed me to have a much more empathetic, understanding view of the need for Joyce Maynard to tell her truth. It was still a difficult book to read as it is so easy now to see how JD Salinger groomed her for his young girl appetite and then threw her away like garbage when she couldn’t perform. I found the best part of the book was after she is on her own and shows such grit and resilience. Her writing takes you right into her vivid memories.
February 23, 2014
At Home in the World is a brutally honest memoir by Joyce Maynard. She describes her early life with highly accomplished parents; her father was an alcoholic and her mother a housewife. Both wanted to do more with their lives but were regulated to less than fufilling roles. Her older sister, Rona, was a bit distant and cold but was able to get on with her life.
Then, at 18 while as a Freshman at Yale, Maynard wrote an article for the New York Times Magazine regarding her generation that caught the attention of reclusive writer, J.D. Salinger. After nearly a year, Salinger cruelly pushes her aside leaving Maynard sort of spiraling. Eventually, she is able to get married and have children and get her literary career on track.
I know many of the complaints here on Goodreads was that Maynard spent too much time on her relationship with Salinger even though it was for such a duration of her life. Granted, that is true but it was such a pivotal and influential relationship that it trickled into her life thereafter.
Maynard became a bit obsessive and she showed that obsession. Almost everything in her life came back to that relationship with Salinger. I felt bad for her. She is able to get out of its grip but it took a lot of time and a lot of confidence and determination to do so. I liked that Maynard showed the good and bad parts of her personality. I liked that balance. She admitted to her selective storytelling; it was not a lie but not the whole truth.
I felt bad that her marriage ended but she did have three children whom seem to be very mature and understanding. I had seen the documentary Salinger and read the book of the same name and while, I still feel bad for Salinger himself, he did seem exploitative of Maynard and the other girls he began corresponding with. Salinger knew who he was and what power he had.
Then, at 18 while as a Freshman at Yale, Maynard wrote an article for the New York Times Magazine regarding her generation that caught the attention of reclusive writer, J.D. Salinger. After nearly a year, Salinger cruelly pushes her aside leaving Maynard sort of spiraling. Eventually, she is able to get married and have children and get her literary career on track.
I know many of the complaints here on Goodreads was that Maynard spent too much time on her relationship with Salinger even though it was for such a duration of her life. Granted, that is true but it was such a pivotal and influential relationship that it trickled into her life thereafter.
Maynard became a bit obsessive and she showed that obsession. Almost everything in her life came back to that relationship with Salinger. I felt bad for her. She is able to get out of its grip but it took a lot of time and a lot of confidence and determination to do so. I liked that Maynard showed the good and bad parts of her personality. I liked that balance. She admitted to her selective storytelling; it was not a lie but not the whole truth.
I felt bad that her marriage ended but she did have three children whom seem to be very mature and understanding. I had seen the documentary Salinger and read the book of the same name and while, I still feel bad for Salinger himself, he did seem exploitative of Maynard and the other girls he began corresponding with. Salinger knew who he was and what power he had.
March 26, 2016
I know many people will read this because of the connection to JD Salinger and to be honest that's what initially brought my attention to the book. I knew nothing about Maynard, little about Salinger (other than reading his books) and thought this would offer insight into the private and illusive writer, Salinger.
There was a lot of talk at the time about Maynard exploiting her relationship with Salinger which I didn't get at all. The book is filled more with self analysis in my opinion and is not particularly critical of Salinger. It, more importantly, closely examines her relationships with her mother, her sister and to some extent, her daughter and ex-husband. These were the important relationships that made Maynard who she is, not her relationship with Salinger.
What I found is it is so much more. Less about Salinger and more about a woman coming into her own.
I started this book and didn't put it down for two days. Read straight through day and night and that's one thing I look for in a book! Ms Maynard is an excellent writer (and teacher) and reading it made me feel as if I'd made a friend - someone who understood who I am. So many times I could relate and felt like she had put into words experiences and feelings I'd had but could never write down so succinctly.
This book is not "about" Salinger. He just happens to be a small chapter in a young woman's life.
For instance, if you wrote a memoir and it included a chapter about the guy you dated in high school - you wouldn't assume the entire book was about high school relationships. There is SO MUCH more in this book.
I'd highly recommend this book!
There was a lot of talk at the time about Maynard exploiting her relationship with Salinger which I didn't get at all. The book is filled more with self analysis in my opinion and is not particularly critical of Salinger. It, more importantly, closely examines her relationships with her mother, her sister and to some extent, her daughter and ex-husband. These were the important relationships that made Maynard who she is, not her relationship with Salinger.
What I found is it is so much more. Less about Salinger and more about a woman coming into her own.
I started this book and didn't put it down for two days. Read straight through day and night and that's one thing I look for in a book! Ms Maynard is an excellent writer (and teacher) and reading it made me feel as if I'd made a friend - someone who understood who I am. So many times I could relate and felt like she had put into words experiences and feelings I'd had but could never write down so succinctly.
This book is not "about" Salinger. He just happens to be a small chapter in a young woman's life.
For instance, if you wrote a memoir and it included a chapter about the guy you dated in high school - you wouldn't assume the entire book was about high school relationships. There is SO MUCH more in this book.
I'd highly recommend this book!
August 7, 2012
Wow. Joyce Maynard is a sad, deluded, piece of work, and her affair with the super shitty, controlling, brimming with hatred, king of teen angst, JD Salinger, most certainly did not help her. It hindered her for life. I wonder how different she would be if she'd stayed on at school, away from her crazy parents, amongst people her own age.
I've never been a Salinger fan. I read his books as a teen, and re-read Nine Stories as an adult, and was surprised by the great esteem his name and work have garnered. Writing aside, he was a schmuck and a borderline pedophile.
Maynard was verbally burned at the stake, by esteemed, male, literary critics, when she wrote this memoir, for daring to write about Salinger the great. Yet, after publication, several women came forward with their own Salinger letters (written to them when he was too old, and they were too young).
Aside from the Salinger ick, there are the extremities of the bad parenting she received, her weird relationship with her sister, and manic behaviors that are skimmed over, and unexplained.
Maynard does not come off well in this memoir. I feel for her, but she's not well, and her personality makes it all more pathetic than sad. Her boundaries are non-existent. She thinks she's worked through her issues, but it's hard not to see her as a severely damaged person.
The book is highly readable, but depressing as hell.
I've never been a Salinger fan. I read his books as a teen, and re-read Nine Stories as an adult, and was surprised by the great esteem his name and work have garnered. Writing aside, he was a schmuck and a borderline pedophile.
Maynard was verbally burned at the stake, by esteemed, male, literary critics, when she wrote this memoir, for daring to write about Salinger the great. Yet, after publication, several women came forward with their own Salinger letters (written to them when he was too old, and they were too young).
Aside from the Salinger ick, there are the extremities of the bad parenting she received, her weird relationship with her sister, and manic behaviors that are skimmed over, and unexplained.
Maynard does not come off well in this memoir. I feel for her, but she's not well, and her personality makes it all more pathetic than sad. Her boundaries are non-existent. She thinks she's worked through her issues, but it's hard not to see her as a severely damaged person.
The book is highly readable, but depressing as hell.
May 24, 2013
AT HOME IN THE WORLD is the mesmerizing memoir by Joyce Maynard that chronicles her devastating, all-consuming relationship with renowned novelist, J. D. Salinger.
On the surface, it seems inexplicable: why would an eighteen-year-old girl 'fall in love' with a fifty-three year-old man? But now, having read the book, I feel I understand.
Salinger’s first letter seems innocent—he was a fan of her New York Times essay, "An Eighteen-year old Looks Back on Life" and "cautions that a glimpse of fame can distract a writer."
The letter‘s sentiments made her feel as if he saw her spirit, gave her a feeling of value, validated her talent and herself. This is intoxicating. In a sense, too, Salinger tries to save her from—to quote Lady Gaga—"the fame monster" (of which he knows plenty).
But Maynard also had much in common with Salinger—both writers, both from New England, both felt like outsiders. Moreover, "this stranger . . . seems to know me," she writes. Brilliant, thoughtful, charming Salinger was an artist and a devotee of alternative medicine and vegetarianism. He had a sophistication and knowledge of the world he wished to bestow on her.
As for Maynard, she had a precociousness and a maturity beyond her years, along with her sense of alienation. She is also needy (who among us does not need or want love?). She is anorexic and bulimic. Yet she wins prizes and accolades, writes magazine articles; gains kudos from New York intellectuals.
All that said, Salinger—the grown-up—should not have allowed this ‘friendship’ to go further.
One wonders what Maynard's parents (her mother, especially) were thinking. She wonders, too, in the scene before her first weekend trip to Salinger's home: "I have tried to imagine what was going on in my parents' minds. . . . Nobody suggests this is a bad idea or questions what might be going on in the mind of a fifty-three year-old man who invites an eighteen-year-old to come and spend the weekend."
Perhaps they were naïve or, as Maynard says, filled with pride. This was in 1971. As a society, we now more quickly recognize child abuse or the potential for it.
As a reader, I am fascinated by the poetic symmetry in Maynard’s life, which can only be regarded as fated. For instance, her description of her father might also describe Salinger in the early stages: "courtly and dapper and charming."
In its essence, theirs is a father-daughter relationship: Salinger gives young Joyce advice about her writing career, about life. He makes suggestions. Then, later, they are commandments—he controls what she eats (very little), wears, writes, whom she befriends. Everything is subject to his approval.
When he abruptly ends the relationship, Maynard desperately tries to convince him otherwise. (In truth, I read of the break-up with relief.)
Add to the mix, a flirtation of sorts between Salinger and Maynard's mother—which may have contributed to the "dissolution" of the relationship—and you have a sad, distressing situation for all concerned.
At fifty, Fredelle Maynard—an author and “a Harvard Phd”—was at “an age more appropriate for receiving the attention of a fifty-three-year old." Years earlier, when she was nineteen, Mrs. Maynard had wed a man who was twenty years her senior. Slim, tall, and blond, Max Maynard was "courtly and dapper and charming." That marriage was now also headed for “dissolution.”
The writing is in the present tense, which heightens the book’s intimacy. This tense—the historical present—also gives a sense of immediacy, of overwhelming understatement. Once you begin to read AT HOME IN THE WORLD, however, you will not stop. The book is so engrossing. It is a cautionary tale young girls/women ought to read: the lessons related in this book, we may all benefit from.
In the afterword, Maynard states that she auctioned off J.D. Salinger's many letters to her. But, I wonder, what happened to her letters to him? Does she know? Or can we guess that Salinger burned or destroyed them?
AT HOME IN THE WORLD forever links Joyce Maynard's name with J. D. Salinger’s. We can perceive it as tarnishing his literary legacy; or that the book provides a more complete portrait of him.
"If I tell what I do, nobody else can expose me,” Maynard writes. “If I live my life in a way I'm not ashamed of, why shouldn't I be able to talk about it? I am surely not the only woman who made herself throw up every day, or flew into a rage at her children, or felt abandoned by love.”
--Yolanda A. Reid
July 14, 2009
It may be easy to write this memoir off as literary-world gossip since it is pretty revealing in regard to the author's brief affair with one of the most reclusive and renowned writers of our time. Maynard is candid about Salinger, who does not come off well in this depiction, but Maynard is brutally honest about herself as well. She often seems hysterical, exhaustively needy, and obsessed with her past. At the same time, she's a good writer, pretty self-aware, and regardless of the salacious nature of their relationship, I found Salinger's musings to her regarding the true nature of writing somewhat interesting, such as, "One day, you are going to have to ask yourself...does anybody actually need to open up Esquire magazine and take in one more hysterically amusing little exercise in assassination by typewriter? Sooner or later you need to soberly consider whether what you write is serving any purpose but to serve your own ego."
Overall, she tells a thoughtful story about confronting her past through writing, although the question remains whether it is fair to do so in such a public manner when it intimately involves other people. I think this one leaves me a bit confused. Despite the questions of disclosure, it was still an interesting read that surprisingly touched on a variety of subjects, from making peace with one's parents, to developing as a writer to, most randomly, homeopathic medicine!
Btw, I had no idea Maynard wrote the book "To Die For" which the Van Sant movie was based off of. Maynard even had a cameo as Kidman's lawyer.
Overall, she tells a thoughtful story about confronting her past through writing, although the question remains whether it is fair to do so in such a public manner when it intimately involves other people. I think this one leaves me a bit confused. Despite the questions of disclosure, it was still an interesting read that surprisingly touched on a variety of subjects, from making peace with one's parents, to developing as a writer to, most randomly, homeopathic medicine!
Btw, I had no idea Maynard wrote the book "To Die For" which the Van Sant movie was based off of. Maynard even had a cameo as Kidman's lawyer.
September 21, 2015
A work colleague with whom I occasionally exchange books gave this to me. I think novelist Maynard is a good writer (she wrote the books To Die For and Labor Day, both of which were turned into films) and it was easy to get sucked in to this memoir. But boy, I do hope she has a good therapist. Maynard strikes me as someone I could only take in small doses if I knew her in real life; she comes off as one of those people who make grand sacrifices and expect to be lauded for them, when in reality no one asked them to impale themselves on their swords. About a third of the book is devoted to her year long relationship at 19 with the then 53 year old recluse J.D. Salinger. Granted, her childhood and upbringing were such that she was totally ripe to be taken advantage of, if it weren’t Salinger, it probably would have been someone else. But would that someone have taken up almost a third of her memoir were they not famous? Dunno. That said, she wrote the memoir she wanted to and I have no compunction about her “invading” Salinger’s “privacy”. It is her life, her memories, she owes him nothing and I don’t doubt he was a giant a**hole. But I do think she could have, had she chosen to, written interestingly more about the other 45 odd years of her life, had she chosen to do so.
December 30, 2018
It seems that almost every reviewer in America hated Joyce Maynard and her memoir when it was published in 1997. The reason? Maynard revealed details about her affair with iconic, but horrendously reclusive author J.D. Salinger.
But, it was her story to tell, right? Apparently wrong.
Back then, almost zero reviewers/columnists commented on the “sexual predator" aspect of a relationship where the 53-year old “Catcher in the Rye” author induced an 18-year old college freshman to come and live with him in the wilds of New Hampshire. Most were too busy castigating Maynard for spilling the beans about her nine-months, live-in relationship with Salinger who was famous for his reclusive behavior — and then became famous for his unusual, eye-opening lifestyle after Maynard published her memoir.
Aside from details about that short-lived relationship, Maynard's account of her early life with an alcoholic father and a super-brilliant mother (who once knitted an outfit for one of Maynard’s dolls using matchsticks as needles) is absolutely riveting.
This review was included in my blog, “Top Book Picks of 2018 in 10 Quirky Categories” which can be accessed here : https://www.joannaelm.com/top-book-pi...
But, it was her story to tell, right? Apparently wrong.
Back then, almost zero reviewers/columnists commented on the “sexual predator" aspect of a relationship where the 53-year old “Catcher in the Rye” author induced an 18-year old college freshman to come and live with him in the wilds of New Hampshire. Most were too busy castigating Maynard for spilling the beans about her nine-months, live-in relationship with Salinger who was famous for his reclusive behavior — and then became famous for his unusual, eye-opening lifestyle after Maynard published her memoir.
Aside from details about that short-lived relationship, Maynard's account of her early life with an alcoholic father and a super-brilliant mother (who once knitted an outfit for one of Maynard’s dolls using matchsticks as needles) is absolutely riveting.
This review was included in my blog, “Top Book Picks of 2018 in 10 Quirky Categories” which can be accessed here : https://www.joannaelm.com/top-book-pi...
Read
February 12, 2016"It's shame, not exposure, that I can't endure...It's the things people don't talk about that scare me."
This notion is threaded throughout this book...and perhaps is the underlying idea for most memoir.
When she was eighteen, Joyce was enticed into a relationship with the reclusive, famous J.D. Salinger. Later we learn that she wasn't the only young woman he wooed. A powerful man can gain a lot by enforcing silence about his acts. Just ask the women who came in contact with Bill Cosby. Salinger wasn't doping and raping women, but he was certainly walking a line of abuse of power.
So this is a memoir of telling the truth in the face of the powers-that-be.
There's more to Joyce's story that I found compelling, especially her relationship with her amazing yet problematic parents. She writes a lot about other aspects of her life as well; at times I felt a little whiplashed with so much going on.
As a writer, I would have loved to hear more about her writing process, especially since she's so prolific.
Overall, I ate this book up. Every time I put it down, I looked forward to getting back to it.
This notion is threaded throughout this book...and perhaps is the underlying idea for most memoir.
When she was eighteen, Joyce was enticed into a relationship with the reclusive, famous J.D. Salinger. Later we learn that she wasn't the only young woman he wooed. A powerful man can gain a lot by enforcing silence about his acts. Just ask the women who came in contact with Bill Cosby. Salinger wasn't doping and raping women, but he was certainly walking a line of abuse of power.
So this is a memoir of telling the truth in the face of the powers-that-be.
There's more to Joyce's story that I found compelling, especially her relationship with her amazing yet problematic parents. She writes a lot about other aspects of her life as well; at times I felt a little whiplashed with so much going on.
As a writer, I would have loved to hear more about her writing process, especially since she's so prolific.
Overall, I ate this book up. Every time I put it down, I looked forward to getting back to it.
February 21, 2010
I actually liked the second half of this one much more than the first half, which is the part about JD Salinger. Joyce's year with JDS sounds awful--not a single romantic thing about it. If you are a Salinger fan, I'd avoid this book--it makes him sound not like an obsessively private enigma, but like a total creep and weirdo. The last half of the book was far more interesting to me, because it really explored the relationship Joyce had with writing for money--because it was what she felt like was her only skill, and she ended up marrying a man that didn't seem too worried about helping out with any bills. This is a somewhat taboo subject at the Workshop (figuring out how to make a living from your writing--nonetheless a prosperous one) and I enjoyed hearing someone speak honestly about the realities of it.
PS--what's up with telling the story in the present tense? I thought that was awkward and unnecessary. But maybe I am thinking too much about point-of-telling in storytelling lately . . . .
PS--what's up with telling the story in the present tense? I thought that was awkward and unnecessary. But maybe I am thinking too much about point-of-telling in storytelling lately . . . .
March 13, 2014
I struggled to MAKE myself finish this book. I wanted to like it. I relate to Ms. Maynard; we are born within months of each other, sharing NYC, New England, the 60s, 70s, 80s, and raising 2 children after a divorce. Now she lives in Mill Valley, CA; I lived in Tiburon, CA (the next town over) for many years.
Her manner, style of writing, I found to be dry and really boring. Nothing helped me to like her as a narrator of her own life, even with all our similarities. This surprises me because I love the "memoir" as a genre, and am rarely bored!
I've loved Salinger, especially all the Glass family stories. Through his "Franny and Zooey", I was introduced to The Jesus Prayer, which I internalized and still use all these 45+ years later!
Hard to say why this didn't "click" as a Goodread. I tried analyzing the book in different ways; I come back to the same thought: It was boring.
It was dry.
I had to MAKE myself finish it, slogging through each page with resistance.
Her manner, style of writing, I found to be dry and really boring. Nothing helped me to like her as a narrator of her own life, even with all our similarities. This surprises me because I love the "memoir" as a genre, and am rarely bored!
I've loved Salinger, especially all the Glass family stories. Through his "Franny and Zooey", I was introduced to The Jesus Prayer, which I internalized and still use all these 45+ years later!
Hard to say why this didn't "click" as a Goodread. I tried analyzing the book in different ways; I come back to the same thought: It was boring.
It was dry.
I had to MAKE myself finish it, slogging through each page with resistance.
April 6, 2010
I love the title of this book. How few people actually feel at home in the world, especially when young. Here, Joyce Maynard decides to break her silence on her year long affair with J.D. Salinger in 1971. In light of his recent death, I felt compelled to read what she wrote twelve years ago.
In this book, she continues with her life after Salinger, talks about her unusual relationship with her parents, and tries for some reconciliation. Since Joyce and I are the same age, I especially liked reading about the years she was raising her children and trying to make ends meet, the poor choices, the regrets....took me back to the ways I've learned about my own life. I especially liked the ending.
In this book, she continues with her life after Salinger, talks about her unusual relationship with her parents, and tries for some reconciliation. Since Joyce and I are the same age, I especially liked reading about the years she was raising her children and trying to make ends meet, the poor choices, the regrets....took me back to the ways I've learned about my own life. I especially liked the ending.
February 3, 2011
I spent the first half of this book so frustrated with the author. She chronicles her life up to age 45 or so and the first half focus's on her childhood with her alcoholic father and slightly strange mother. She writes and is featured in a new york times article at age 17. She then is sent fan mail one letter from the notoriously private JD Salinger and off she goes on a writing then meeting affair (w/o sex). Maynard writes in a way that's readable and it flows. She is so honest and talented. I just wish she was more confident and less needing of approval. but that is her story and I respect it. She grows and the reader grows with her. I had a tough time with the first half but the second half was smooth sailing. I am going to check out her novels.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 466 reviews