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Old Enough to Know: Leader's Guide
In Old Enough to Know Michael gives straight, biblical answers to the struggles of growing up: premarital sex, drugs, alcohol, peer pressure, parental conflict, friendship, goals, responsibility, and materialism.
Paperback
First published June 1, 1987
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About the author
Michael W. Smith
60 books24 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.
Michael Whitaker Smith is an American contemporary Christian musician.
He is the winner of multiple Grammy Awards and over 40 Dove Awards.
Michael Whitaker Smith is an American contemporary Christian musician.
He is the winner of multiple Grammy Awards and over 40 Dove Awards.
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Displaying 1 of 1 review
October 20, 2025
Fantastic book!
I removed two stars because of Page 91: “She went on to share how she enjoyed one of our concerts, how her family had moved to a different part of the country and things had not worked out for her dad on his new job, how she struggled with adjusting to a new school and other problems.
And then she casually mentioned, "Oh, yes. I met someone who is so nice.... He is 20 (I'm 16) and a youth minister. My parents have previously told me no to going out with guys that much older. If you have any suggestions, I am open for them!" I get quite a few letters that ask me for advice, and they often focus on relationships. Is it safe for a 16-year-old to go out with a guy four years older? If teens do decide to date, what are the guidelines?
One obvious guideline is that they both have the same values and beliefs about God's gift of sex. If her 20-year-old friend believes the Bible that he is teaching and modeling as a youth director in a church, he will want to treat Linda with care and respect. Then, if he can sell her parents, maybe he can date her with their approval.”
That’s bad.
Here’s why.
1. If that 20 year old is romantically interested in that 16 year old, he’s a pedophile.
I’ve been 20.
16 year olds looked like children to me then.
Because (comparatively) they are.
That 16 year old looks like a child to that 20 year old — and he is sexually turned on by that — not DESPITE her being a minor — BECAUSE of it.
He’s turned on by minors, therefore he is a pedophile.
2. If that 20 year old has sex with that 16 year old, he goes to jail.
3. I’ve known tons of women in real life, have read online about thousands more, and we know that it is MILLIONS of women who HATE Jesus for life.
Why?
Because when they went to church as teens, they weren’t loved as younger sisters in Christ — they were HUNTED for sport by pedophiles in positions of power who SPECIFICALLY SOUGHT OUT positions of power, for the sole purpose of gaining access and trust of teenage girls to groom and rape.
This is a problem for several reasons:
A. Teenage girls groomed and raped.
B. Lifelong trauma for the girls.
C. As Christians, we believe Jesus saves, so how DARE THESE PREDATORY PEDOPHILES put a stumbling block for these women FOR LIFE.
4. The girl mentions she’s in a very vulnerable state right now — which means she is almost certainly being groomed by that predator.
Now, obviously, a 21 year old and 25 year old dating is great! Fantastic! No problem!
Why? Because (despite also being four years apart) they’re in approximately the same life stage. Both are adults. No inherent power imbalance.
5.
The power imbalance between a 20 year old youth pastor and a 16 year old highschool student is ASTRONOMICAL.
Huge power imbalances make the 16 year old WAY WAY WAY more likely to be abused — spiritually, emotionally, financially, physically, sexually abused.
In conclusion!
No.
Never.
Absolutely not — it is NEVER okay for a 20 year old Youth Pastor to date his vulnerable 16 year old student.
THAT IS NEVER OKAY.
That ONE page is frustrating because the rest of the book is fantastic!
I removed two stars because of Page 91: “She went on to share how she enjoyed one of our concerts, how her family had moved to a different part of the country and things had not worked out for her dad on his new job, how she struggled with adjusting to a new school and other problems.
And then she casually mentioned, "Oh, yes. I met someone who is so nice.... He is 20 (I'm 16) and a youth minister. My parents have previously told me no to going out with guys that much older. If you have any suggestions, I am open for them!" I get quite a few letters that ask me for advice, and they often focus on relationships. Is it safe for a 16-year-old to go out with a guy four years older? If teens do decide to date, what are the guidelines?
One obvious guideline is that they both have the same values and beliefs about God's gift of sex. If her 20-year-old friend believes the Bible that he is teaching and modeling as a youth director in a church, he will want to treat Linda with care and respect. Then, if he can sell her parents, maybe he can date her with their approval.”
That’s bad.
Here’s why.
1. If that 20 year old is romantically interested in that 16 year old, he’s a pedophile.
I’ve been 20.
16 year olds looked like children to me then.
Because (comparatively) they are.
That 16 year old looks like a child to that 20 year old — and he is sexually turned on by that — not DESPITE her being a minor — BECAUSE of it.
He’s turned on by minors, therefore he is a pedophile.
2. If that 20 year old has sex with that 16 year old, he goes to jail.
3. I’ve known tons of women in real life, have read online about thousands more, and we know that it is MILLIONS of women who HATE Jesus for life.
Why?
Because when they went to church as teens, they weren’t loved as younger sisters in Christ — they were HUNTED for sport by pedophiles in positions of power who SPECIFICALLY SOUGHT OUT positions of power, for the sole purpose of gaining access and trust of teenage girls to groom and rape.
This is a problem for several reasons:
A. Teenage girls groomed and raped.
B. Lifelong trauma for the girls.
C. As Christians, we believe Jesus saves, so how DARE THESE PREDATORY PEDOPHILES put a stumbling block for these women FOR LIFE.
4. The girl mentions she’s in a very vulnerable state right now — which means she is almost certainly being groomed by that predator.
Now, obviously, a 21 year old and 25 year old dating is great! Fantastic! No problem!
Why? Because (despite also being four years apart) they’re in approximately the same life stage. Both are adults. No inherent power imbalance.
5.
The power imbalance between a 20 year old youth pastor and a 16 year old highschool student is ASTRONOMICAL.
Huge power imbalances make the 16 year old WAY WAY WAY more likely to be abused — spiritually, emotionally, financially, physically, sexually abused.
In conclusion!
No.
Never.
Absolutely not — it is NEVER okay for a 20 year old Youth Pastor to date his vulnerable 16 year old student.
THAT IS NEVER OKAY.
That ONE page is frustrating because the rest of the book is fantastic!
Displaying 1 of 1 review