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Sex & Bowls & Rock and Roll: How I Swapped My Rock Dreams for Village Greens
Relating the story of a man who gave up the rock 'n' roll dream to play bowls, this is the autobiographical account of Alex Marsh, a man who wanted to be a rock star but instead became a successful advertising executive—only to give up his career, move to rural Norfolk, and become a househusband. Only he isn't a very good one. While his pride won't let him admit it, he struggles with the cooking, the cleaning, and the isolation. He hires a cleaner without telling his wife, and his repertoire of baked potatoes exhausts quickly. He becomes hooked on daytime television and computer solitaire. He is in danger of becoming weird. So he takes up bowls. In Sex & Bowls & Rock 'n' Roll , we follow a season in the life of the village bowls team, a group of amateur sportsmen and mild eccentrics. In doing so we see this unfashionable pastime in a whole new light. But Alex hasn't quite given up on his dreams of rock stardom. Discovering that some of his friends at the pub are a handy with bass and drums, he makes one final stab at being in a band with an eagerly awaited gig in the local pub, which turns out to be a complete disaster. Join Alex has he comes to terms with life as a domestic disappointment, attempts to learn the fine art of crown green bowls, and finally realizes that supporting the Sultans Of Ping at the Pink Toothbrush in Rayleigh really was the high point of his musical career. This is a hilarious account of a year in the life of a genuinely modern man.
- GenresComedyNonfiction
304 pages, Paperback
First published July 2, 2010
About the author
Alex Marsh
2 books14 followers"I love Alex Marsh's writing. It makes me laugh, think and wish I live in England." - Jill Twiss, writer, HBO's 'Last Week Tonight with John Oliver'.
Alex Marsh was born in 1971 in Essex. His parents had worked in publishing in the fifties and sixties, and he grew up in a house piled high with books. These competed for space with paraphernalia from Australia, his Victoria-born grandfather having been known as ‘Mister Melbourne,’ a baker and local celebrity on Hampstead’s South End Green.
His childhood coinciding with the microcomputer revolution, Alex’s first professional writing job was as a teenage columnist for ‘Spectrum Adventurer’ magazine. Since then he’s written short columns for The Guardian, jokes for BBC Radio and guest-edited one of the UK’s biggest satirical news sites.
Alex’s alter-ego blog ‘JonnyB’s Private Secret Diary’ achieved internet fame with its eccentric snapshots of English rural life, gaining him an unexpected cult-status amongst US gun enthusiasts, a letter of apology from a national newspaper editor, and the distinction of being set as a text to ‘discuss’ in a mock A-level exam.
He lives in Norfolk.
Alex Marsh was born in 1971 in Essex. His parents had worked in publishing in the fifties and sixties, and he grew up in a house piled high with books. These competed for space with paraphernalia from Australia, his Victoria-born grandfather having been known as ‘Mister Melbourne,’ a baker and local celebrity on Hampstead’s South End Green.
His childhood coinciding with the microcomputer revolution, Alex’s first professional writing job was as a teenage columnist for ‘Spectrum Adventurer’ magazine. Since then he’s written short columns for The Guardian, jokes for BBC Radio and guest-edited one of the UK’s biggest satirical news sites.
Alex’s alter-ego blog ‘JonnyB’s Private Secret Diary’ achieved internet fame with its eccentric snapshots of English rural life, gaining him an unexpected cult-status amongst US gun enthusiasts, a letter of apology from a national newspaper editor, and the distinction of being set as a text to ‘discuss’ in a mock A-level exam.
He lives in Norfolk.
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
June 19, 2013
One for you Annabelle Shaw and Liz Jensen - hilarious :)
May 25, 2019
You could write down what I know about bowls on the back of a postage stamp and still have plenty of space left over. But I learned lots from 'Sex and Bowls and Rock and Roll'. I learned that Alex Marshall is a world-famous bowls champ and that Alex Marsh the writer of this book isn’t.
It’s perhaps harder to put your finger on what Alex Marsh is though – second-rate village bowls team stalwart, amateur chicken fancier, builder of bookcases with Scooby Doo-style hidden chambers, and a man who thinks that claiming he’s on a sabbatical sounds better than being a house husband. And he’s a lousy house husband as his LTLP (now I assume that’s Long Term Life Partner though he never really explains it) keeps reminding him. After all, if your chap stays home all day the least you can expect is a hot meal and a clean house and not just a succession of ‘something plus potato’ and a bad case of dust blindness.
Marsh is in the middle of an early mid-life crisis. When he realises that the people at work really ARE excited by the latest ‘strategic HR initiative’ and he thinks it’s just a joke he can see that something is just not right with the way he’s living his life. When his LTLP gets offered a great job in Norfolk with a big promotion, he jumps at the chance to chuck in his job and move to the country – it’s like something from an afternoon television house hunt series. He’s long been forced to give up on his youthful dream of rock and roll stardom but he keeps on rehashing his rather unglamorous musical career.
I used to live in Suffolk which is a pretty dull and, dare I say it, backward kind of place. But after you’ve lived in Suffolk for a while it’s comforting to know that however bad it gets, at least it’s not Norfolk. S&B&R&R must surely be one of the first humorous books about living in Norfolk that never once mentions in-breeding! Instead what Marsh does is make the idea of village life in Norfolk sound like the greatest fun a human being ever had and I was almost jealous. Barely a dozen people in our village ever spoke to us in the 6 years we lived in a Suffolk village so it’s lovely to know that some people can make it. The secret seems to be spending lots of time in the pub, joining a local sports team, and having lots of time on your hands. Chickens also help to build bridges – or mend fences or whatever other cheesy clichés are required.
Sex and Bowls and Rock and Roll is an endearing story of a man changing his life – moving down a gear or two, re-evaluating what matters in life and getting in touch with his inner lazy, self-indulgent child. The book is peopled with a colourful array of salt of the earth country folk – like Big Andy and his rescue battery chickens, Marsh’s chicken co-conspirator and next door neighbour Short Tony, Len the Fish who is a fab handyman and lots of other people with jokey names. The wives are identified only by their husbands – Mrs Big Andy, Mrs Short Tony and so on. Perhaps it’s a way to protect the identities of the innocent or just one of those ‘boy things’. It’s fair to say that although women will enjoy the book, it’s primarily a ‘bloke book’ – not so much ‘chick lit’ as ‘bit of a dick lit’.
Strangely though, I loved it. I took the book on holiday and my husband got annoyed with me that I kept reading extracts to him. I loaned it to my sister’s girlfriend who wanted to know if it was “The one that made you keep laughing out loud”. It’s a great example of a very British type of humour – the self-deprecating genre of “Hey everybody, look at what a loser I am”. I was reminded of Nick Hornby – it was like Fever Pitch with bowls and chickens instead of football.
I suspect it won’t sell well outside the UK since the other English speaking countries tend to prefer the ‘Hey look how fantastic I am’ approach and just don’t understand the ‘loser-genre’ but I can see it going amazingly well with bowls players, chicken fanciers, people who live in little villages and even quite a lot of normal people too. If I were his LTLP I’d have probably thrown him out on the street years ago for all his crazy plans and awful behaviour and his total lack of any sense of responsibility, but as a reader, I enjoyed him immensely. I think we all know men like Alex Marsh with their daft projects and their adorable sense of humour. Almost everyone who needs it will find some useful lessons about how to come to terms with not being what you dreamed of being when you were younger and finding new things to fill that gap left by the rock and roll fantasy. And just in case you’re worried that it might be a bit too racy for your auntie’s Christmas stocking, take some comfort that it’s almost all bowls and rock and roll and there’s really no sex to worry about.
It’s perhaps harder to put your finger on what Alex Marsh is though – second-rate village bowls team stalwart, amateur chicken fancier, builder of bookcases with Scooby Doo-style hidden chambers, and a man who thinks that claiming he’s on a sabbatical sounds better than being a house husband. And he’s a lousy house husband as his LTLP (now I assume that’s Long Term Life Partner though he never really explains it) keeps reminding him. After all, if your chap stays home all day the least you can expect is a hot meal and a clean house and not just a succession of ‘something plus potato’ and a bad case of dust blindness.
Marsh is in the middle of an early mid-life crisis. When he realises that the people at work really ARE excited by the latest ‘strategic HR initiative’ and he thinks it’s just a joke he can see that something is just not right with the way he’s living his life. When his LTLP gets offered a great job in Norfolk with a big promotion, he jumps at the chance to chuck in his job and move to the country – it’s like something from an afternoon television house hunt series. He’s long been forced to give up on his youthful dream of rock and roll stardom but he keeps on rehashing his rather unglamorous musical career.
I used to live in Suffolk which is a pretty dull and, dare I say it, backward kind of place. But after you’ve lived in Suffolk for a while it’s comforting to know that however bad it gets, at least it’s not Norfolk. S&B&R&R must surely be one of the first humorous books about living in Norfolk that never once mentions in-breeding! Instead what Marsh does is make the idea of village life in Norfolk sound like the greatest fun a human being ever had and I was almost jealous. Barely a dozen people in our village ever spoke to us in the 6 years we lived in a Suffolk village so it’s lovely to know that some people can make it. The secret seems to be spending lots of time in the pub, joining a local sports team, and having lots of time on your hands. Chickens also help to build bridges – or mend fences or whatever other cheesy clichés are required.
Sex and Bowls and Rock and Roll is an endearing story of a man changing his life – moving down a gear or two, re-evaluating what matters in life and getting in touch with his inner lazy, self-indulgent child. The book is peopled with a colourful array of salt of the earth country folk – like Big Andy and his rescue battery chickens, Marsh’s chicken co-conspirator and next door neighbour Short Tony, Len the Fish who is a fab handyman and lots of other people with jokey names. The wives are identified only by their husbands – Mrs Big Andy, Mrs Short Tony and so on. Perhaps it’s a way to protect the identities of the innocent or just one of those ‘boy things’. It’s fair to say that although women will enjoy the book, it’s primarily a ‘bloke book’ – not so much ‘chick lit’ as ‘bit of a dick lit’.
Strangely though, I loved it. I took the book on holiday and my husband got annoyed with me that I kept reading extracts to him. I loaned it to my sister’s girlfriend who wanted to know if it was “The one that made you keep laughing out loud”. It’s a great example of a very British type of humour – the self-deprecating genre of “Hey everybody, look at what a loser I am”. I was reminded of Nick Hornby – it was like Fever Pitch with bowls and chickens instead of football.
I suspect it won’t sell well outside the UK since the other English speaking countries tend to prefer the ‘Hey look how fantastic I am’ approach and just don’t understand the ‘loser-genre’ but I can see it going amazingly well with bowls players, chicken fanciers, people who live in little villages and even quite a lot of normal people too. If I were his LTLP I’d have probably thrown him out on the street years ago for all his crazy plans and awful behaviour and his total lack of any sense of responsibility, but as a reader, I enjoyed him immensely. I think we all know men like Alex Marsh with their daft projects and their adorable sense of humour. Almost everyone who needs it will find some useful lessons about how to come to terms with not being what you dreamed of being when you were younger and finding new things to fill that gap left by the rock and roll fantasy. And just in case you’re worried that it might be a bit too racy for your auntie’s Christmas stocking, take some comfort that it’s almost all bowls and rock and roll and there’s really no sex to worry about.
November 3, 2018
As a Bowls player I thought hey this should be good, I was wrong! My advice don't bother!
December 19, 2019
Enough blokey self-deprecation and music references to make me chuckle. I secretly enjoyed reading about bowls, I fancy I will take it up one day, in about 20 years.
June 30, 2024
A bit out of the ordinary, I did find it funny, but it did jump around .....a lot
July 30, 2010
I've been reading Jonny B's Private Secret Diary for years, and have always felt it's one of the best blogs around. He's got an excellent turn of phrase, like a more up-to-date Wodehouse with a bit of knowing self-deprecation thrown in.
I was a little worried, however, that the conversion into a full book would spoil the writing somehow. It absolutely didn't. In fact, hearing the story I'd become so familiar with retold in one complete format made it all the more gripping, funny, and indeed quite touching in places.
And it's really cheap in the Kindle store right now too.
I was a little worried, however, that the conversion into a full book would spoil the writing somehow. It absolutely didn't. In fact, hearing the story I'd become so familiar with retold in one complete format made it all the more gripping, funny, and indeed quite touching in places.
And it's really cheap in the Kindle store right now too.
September 27, 2010
Laugh out loud funny (not so great when you are onboard a plane), and a very personal and engaging story of a rock star who turned his back on his potential future (he really did, it's made very clear throughout the book that he did not 'fail') and embraced life in a small village.
Having read his blog for many years, I wasn't surprised at how readable this book was, yet it was deeper and a lot more open than I had expected.
There are many serious novels out there, but if you are looking for something equally well written, that will bring joy and laughter into your life then look no further.
Having read his blog for many years, I wasn't surprised at how readable this book was, yet it was deeper and a lot more open than I had expected.
There are many serious novels out there, but if you are looking for something equally well written, that will bring joy and laughter into your life then look no further.
June 16, 2013
Gave up on book at 31%. Not sure if it's fiction or semi-autobiographical. But the main character is annoying in his view of the world and his attitude toward the privileged lifestyle he's got.
Keeping chickens and playing bowls are not proof that you have grown up. 31% in and there's been no discernible story line, just his day to day exploits and frustrating habit to compare all of life's conundrums with music and the music business... Found myself getting more and more unengaged as I read.
Despite some excellent reviews, this one is really not for me.
Keeping chickens and playing bowls are not proof that you have grown up. 31% in and there's been no discernible story line, just his day to day exploits and frustrating habit to compare all of life's conundrums with music and the music business... Found myself getting more and more unengaged as I read.
Despite some excellent reviews, this one is really not for me.
July 3, 2013
I picked this book up thinking it was the guy who was the topic of the Paul Kaye film, Black Ball, but was very pleasantly surprised.
Its very funny in places and very relatable.
The writing style is very choppy and makes it tough to follow sometimes, but its well worth a read!!
and now i want a Scooby Doo bookcase.....
Its very funny in places and very relatable.
The writing style is very choppy and makes it tough to follow sometimes, but its well worth a read!!
and now i want a Scooby Doo bookcase.....
June 18, 2013
Being a Norfolk girl, bred and born, it was nice to read a book set in Norfolk, knowing the places etc, that were mentioned. Many a laugh out loud moment too.
June 28, 2013
ha ha, a hilarious look at the Norfolk life. Scary thing is I've met people like the main character and even scarier is I look at them as friends.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews