How to Be a Monastic and Not Leave Your Day Job: An Invitation to Oblate Life

by Benet Tvedten

Dorothy Day was an oblate while she lived in the heart of New York City. So was the French poet, Paul Claudel. Kathleen Norris is an oblate, and so was Elena Lucrezia Cornaro Piscopia, the first woman in Europe to earn a Ph.D. What connects them all? There are at least ten thousand oblates in the United States today (no one knows for sure how many), and each of them is connected in meaningful ways to a monastery or abbey. Most oblates are ordinary lay people from various Christian traditions. They are linked together by common appreciation for the Rule of St. Benedict. Originally written for monks, the principles in the Rule may be applied by everyone else---and in today's hectic, changing world, being an oblate offers a rich spiritual connection to the stability and wisdom of monastic life. This essential guide explains how people who live and work in "the world" are still invited to balance work with prayer, cultivate interdependence with others, practice hospitality, and otherwise practice their spirituality like monks.

Genres: Religion, Nonfiction, Spirituality, Christianity, Theology, Prayer, Faith

119 pages, Paperback

First published February 1, 2006

Reviews

[Heidi · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is fine, but not as good as Esther De Waal, Kathleen Norris, etc. There are some interesting nuggets about oblates (there will soon be more Benedictine oblates in the world than Benedictine religious). Seems like it was written as a book to pass out to oblate candidates who know very little about the Rule beforehand. If you've read other texts on Benedict you don't need this one, but if you haven't and just want a quick introduction, this is a short and easy read.

[Nathan Goodwin · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn’t know much about oblates or anything going into this, I feel that I don’t know all that much more coming out of it. For a Christian/Catholic practice, there is a lot more talk and seeming reverence about Benedict than of Jesus.

[Sophie Jessup · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautifully written book. I am most grateful that such a book exists about the Benedictine way of life. It has been most helpful during my journey of discernment. Praise be to God.

[Mark Einselen · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's fine. The title is the best part about it.

[James · Rating 4 out of 5]

Benedict of Nursia is honored as the patron saint of Western monasticism. His Rule has given shape to the communal life of the monasteries that bear his name, but his influence goes far beyond the Benedictine order. The rhythms of prayer and work in community are staples of monastic spirituality and Benedict’s rule is the impetus for much of that. But what wisdom does Benedict’s Rule offer to ordinary folk–people with jobs and families who do not feel called to the monastic life? Quite a bit actually.

Brother Benet Tvedten has written How to Be a Monastic And Not Leave Your Day Job to help us regular people appropriate the gifts of monasticism and Benedict’s Rule. Written primarily as a guide for those wishing to become oblates, this book explores the history of Benedictine spirituality, the values it imparts for daily life and the requirements for oblates–those who wish to formalize their commitment to the Benedictine way by associating with a monastery. While those considering becoming oblates (literally, ‘offering oneself up’) will get the most out of this book, all who have come to appreciate Benedictine spirituality and wish to incorporate its insights will find food for thought here.

Tvedten begins his book by giving a brief overview of Benedict and Benedictine spirituality. Benedict did not write his rule in a vacuum. He incorporated the wisdom of the monastic communities before him, even appropriating The Rule of the Master, a rule written by an anonymous Italian abbot, as the framework for the book we’ve come to know as The Rule of St. Benedict. While the former was used by Benedict, Tvedten observes a noticeable shift in tone, ”The Master’s Rule is indeed harsh and burdensome. The crotchety old abbot does not have much confidence in his monks, and is constantly suspicious of them”(24). Benedict’s rule on the other hand is written for beginners (15) and so that ‘the strong and the weak may live side by side’ (26). This means that the Rule of Benedict is not simply for those who have taken heroic vows and are spiritually strong but has wisdom for those starting their spiritual quest and wishing to grow in their faith.

The values of Benedictine life which are gifts to the whole church include: rhythms of prayer and work, humility, concern for peace and justice and hospitality. Tvedten explores these, offering commentary on the rule and examples from the lives of oblates he knows. His commentary on the rule emphasizes how the Benedictine way represents a whole different way of being in the world. However, he occasionally he offers an explanatory note which makes Benedict more palatable to our ears (i.e. Benedict’s prohibition on laughter is explained as a prohibition on mockery and buffoonery).

His final section explores the calling of oblates, their commitment to the rule and to the values of conversion (turning from your former way) and stability (commitment to a particular monastery), guidelines for oblates and the value they bring to the wider monastic community, the church and the world.

New to this edition (the book was originally published in 2006) is a new preface and afterward where Tvedten expands his reflection on the Benedictine way to include the New Monastic movement (Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove, et al.) and other appropriations of Benedictine wisdom in our all too secular world. A list of recommended readings gives those interested in Benedictine Spirituality resources to go deeper into the themes which Tvedten sketches here.

I am not a Benedictine Oblate but I have a deep respect for the Benedictines. My own journey with Benedictine Spirituality includes my discovery of the Christian pracitice of Hospitality (through my reading of books by Christine Pohl, Daniel Homan, OSB and others), my encounter with Benedictine spirituality (through authors like Kathleen Norris, Joan Chittister, Ester DeWaal) and several journeys I’ve taken through the Rule. I am not at the place where I would formalize my commitment to the Benedictine way, but I am grateful for the myriad of ways the Benedictines have challenged my thinking and way of being in the world. Tvedten’s book and the Rule challenge me to be more intentional about community, hospitality and prayer. These are values I hold dear and am inspired by the Benedictine Community. I give this book four stars and recommend it for anyone interested in exploring the gifts the Benedictines offer for us regular folk.

Thank you to Paraclete Press for providing me a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

[Tamara · Rating 5 out of 5]

How to Be a Monastic and Not Leave Your Day Job is a great place to start if you are considering the life of an Oblate. This was the first book on the monastic lifestyle that I read two years ago. At 119 pages with short flowing chapters it's a easy introductory read.

Br. Tvedten does an excellent job giving us historical background to Benedictine spirituality, the values for daily living and what it actually means to become an Oblate. He includes a wonderful list of Benedictine titles many of which I have read and will be reviewing here in the future.

I highly recommend How to Be a Monastic and Not Leave Your Day Job: An Invitation to Oblate Life by Brother Benet Tvedten. It was after reading this book that I knew without a doubt the Benedictine spiritual path was where I belonged.

[Daniel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brother Benet has written a helpful, concise, and accessible introduction for those interested in becoming an oblate of a Benedictine community. As with his other writings, what shines through is his humor and his down-to-earth, practical approach to the Rule and to monastic/oblate life. As he says: "Benedict’s way of life is designed for ordinary people. No heroics are required."

If you are attracted to oblate life, this is a good place to start. If you desire to know more about the Rule itself and Benedictine spirituality, his list of suggested readings is spot-on (he recommends, among others, de Waal, Vest, Chittister, and Casey).

[Simon · Rating 4 out of 5]

While focussing particularly on those who choose to become Benedictine Oblates, this book is a helpful guide to any person seeking to explore how the Rule of St Benedict can be lived today. No matter our way of life, this sensible guide, with numerous anecdotes, is an accessible overview of Benedictine spirituality.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lovely book, if somewhat general. It paints the big umbrella picture, taking examples from a number of Oblate communities in America, which is interesting. A good place to start reading if you are interested in following a Benedictine life path.

[Rosie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this to better understand a Benedictine monastery I was visiting. It helped crystallize the basics of Benedictine spirituality and monastic history by introducing a general background of Benedict and tenets of the order. I did not realize prior to reading this that Benedict's Rule was the first written work that formalized a system for how a monastery should function. Interestingly, I noticed that the order I visited didn't follow every rule, including the edict that only the sick shall eat "quadrupeds" (they raised their own pork and beef). It seems some rules can be bent? Not being Catholic or having any exposure to the Catholic church, I had a lot of questions, and this book helped answer some of them. I think many of the teachings are just good advice, like the twin values of stability and conversion/conversio - rootedness and change. Although any religion relies on a lot of conformity, the Benedicts seem to be community-minded and generous. While I was reading this under a tree full of birds (my first mistake), a bird pooped on a page. If you believe in signs from God, this is what the bird pooped on: "'Now the ladder erected is our life on earth, and if we humble our hearts the Lord will raise it to Heaven' (7:8)." Take that as you will.

[Jeffrey Fawcett · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a short, easy read that introduces the “program” for Benedictine oblates. Because oblates are associated with individual monasteries and not members of provincial or national third orders (like with the Carmelites, Dominicans, and Franciscans), there aren’t really any Benedictine Oblate programs, per se. Br. Tvedten even recalls a story of how one oblate insisted that he and other oblate directors not refer to it as a program. Rather, it’s a way of life, built on the two pillars of Benedictine spirituality: conversion and stability. For the oblate, who cannot literally profess vows and live in a monastery full time, these two tenets are lived out in our daily lives in our practice of showing greater patience and openness with our families, neighbors, coworkers, etc; and in buttressing our daily lives with prayer (preferably through recitation or even chanting of the psalms) and spiritual reading (preferably of the Bible).

[John M.]

I think all Anglo-Catholics secretly want to be a monastic. It is one of those pipe dreams that seem wonderful, but might not be all that romantic in the end. Nevertheless, the Rule of Benedict speaks to how to live in relationship with God and with other people, especially in the often difficult situation of a community. The book ultimately deals with becoming an Oblate of a Benedictine order. Many of the monasteries/convents mentioned have unfortunately closed.

[Joe Haack · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have been told that there are better books on Benedict's Rule - but this was the one at my library. My understanding is that many of the Reformers wanted to bring the best of the monastic life to the local church. To that end, I am interested in ways that the local church could learn from his Rule, especially in the area of hospitality and prayer.

[Joey · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was attracted to the main title, "How to Be a Monastic and Not Leave Your Day Job," but it was really about the first part of the subtitle, "A Guide for Benedictine Oblates." Beside that little disappointment, I think it was a nice, easy, and relaxing read that inspired me to live with a little more hospitality.

[Randall Allen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good introduction for those unfamiliar with Benedictine spirituality and the order of oblates. It is also helpful for those seeking to discern a call to follow the Rule of St. Benedict as an oblate.

[Judith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Written by the Director of Oblates at an abbey in South Dakota, this is a very practical approach to applying the Rule of Benedict to life outside the monastery. Highly recommended by me at any rate.

[Jordan Brown · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some interesting information, but it was poorly written. I felt the author listed all his thoughts about the topic, grouped them into categories, and then randomly listed the ideas in each category. Not cohesive at all.

[Darren · Rating 2 out of 5]

There were parts of the book that were interesting, but I was looking for something deeper about how to use the Benedictine Rule in my devotional life, and what I got instead was a very light introduction to the oblate lifestyle.

[nancy marie roemer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Intro to Oblates

A broad description of the oblate vocation and Benedictine spirituality, it is a good introduction for someone wondering what it's about.

[Phil Gould · Rating 4 out of 5]

A brief look at what it means to become a Benedictine oblate and how different monastic communities establish a relationship with their oblates.

[Kaye · Rating 2 out of 5]

Super light, a topical and whimsical extended definition of being an oblate.

[Denise · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm currently staying at a Benedictine monastery, but I am not Catholic, and I had no idea what an oblate was or that one even existed. For this level of knowledge, this is an appropriate introduction to what an oblate is, the intention behind the program, and its role within the community/church. If you have more foreknowledge than I did, this is probably too simplistic for you.

[Tina · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think this is the final book in my monastic quest. I have decided not to become a Benedictine oblate. First, I don't think I have time and I don't think there's a monastery close enough. I can barely keep up with my own church activities that are 6 minutes away. Second, I wouldn't be allowed to take communion with the monks because I'm not Catholic. It was interesting to learn more about monasticism, especially the hospitality focus. If I was to read more, I think I should read the rule of Benedictine itself. As a result of reading this book, I have begun reading through the Psalms. At one time, monks read through all the psalms in a week!? Now, I think it's a month. At any rate, it inspired me to try to read at least one or two a day in addition to my other Bible reading. (Isn't it Billy Graham who reads a psalm and a chapter in Proverbs everyday? Must be something to it!)

[Adam · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an incredibly brief and basic introduction to 1) Benedictine Spirituality and 2) Benedictine Oblation. St. Benedict (480–543) is considered by most to be the pioneer of Western monasticism. His Rule is one of the most influential and widely used rules in monasticism and is characterized by such things as prayer, humility, work, moderation, hospitality, stability, justice, and peace. Oblates are those who choose to affiliate with a particular monastery and commit their lives to living the Benedictine way in their own lives of work and family. Oblates are, as Father Bede Classick writes, "monasticism's gift to the world ... bringing to the world the values which monasticism hold up as important for the Christian way of life" (p103).

[Tamara · Rating 5 out of 5]

How to Be a Monastic and Not Leave Your Day Job is a great place to start if you are considering the life of an Oblate. This was the first book on the monastic lifestyle that I read two years ago. At 119 pages with short flowing chapters it's a easy introductory read.

Br. Tvedten does an excellent job giving us historical background to Benedictine spirituality, the values for daily living and what it actually means to become an Oblate. He includes a wonderful list of Benedictine titles many of which I have read and will be reviewing here in the future.

I highly recommend How to Be a Monastic and Not Leave Your Day Job: An Invitation to Oblate Life by Brother Benet Tvedten. It was after reading this book that I knew without a doubt the Benedictine spiritual path was where I belonged.

[Frank · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very interesting book on how the Benedictine Monks allow "external" monks to be associated with their monestary. These oblates don't have to be Catholic and many are not. There are as many Benedictine Oblates living in the world and in families are there are Benedictine Monks in the monastery. It also goes into St. Benedict's Rule and how it works in the secular world. A short yet very interesting read good for everyone.

[Joshua Booher · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was interesting. It was unique to see how a monk views oblates and their role in the religious life of a monastery. It was helpful to see what is involved in being an oblate and how the rule of Benedict can play out in a lay person's daily life. It was well worth the time it took to read it.

[David-anselm · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a good read not so much in that I learned new things. However, it did recall to mind several ideas that I had not thought about in a while. It also presented some new thinking (at least to me) behind some old Benedictine concepts. The writing seemed like a gentle conversation with the author.

[Candace Simar · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. I first came across Benet Tvedten's writing in the Lake Region Review where he had a humorous short story about life in a monastery. This book is an easy-read, captivating look into the monastic life chosen by lay people. It also delves into Benedictine spirituality and its impact on the modern world.

[Mike · Rating 5 out of 5]

A guide to becoming a Benedictine oblate. Oblates are lay people affiliated with a monastery and living the monastic life in a secular setting. Tvedten offers some good advice on the practicalities of living such a life with plenty of good resources.