The Emotionally Intelligent Manager: How to Develop and Use the Four Key Emotional Skills of Leadership

by David R. Caruso, Peter Salovey

We have long been taught that emotions should be felt and expressed in carefully controlled ways, and then only in certain environments and at certain times. This is especially true when at work, particularly when managing others. It is considered terribly unprofessional to express emotion while on the job, and many of us believe that our biggest mistakes and regrets are due to our reactions at those times when our emotions get the better of us. David R. Caruso and Peter Salovey believe that this view of emotion is not correct. The emotion centers of the brain, they argue, are not relegated to a secondary place in our thinking and reasoning, but instead are an integral part of what it means to think, reason, and to be intelligent. In The Emotionally Intelligent Manager, they show that emotion is not just important, but absolutely necessary for us to make good decisions, take action to solve problems, cope with change, and succeed. The authors detail a practical four-part hierarchy of emotional identifying emotions, using emotions to facilitate thinking, understanding emotions, and managing emotions—and show how we can measure, learn, and develop each skill and employ them in an integrated way to solve our most difficult work-related problems.

Genres: Leadership, Business, Management, Psychology, Self Help, Nonfiction, Personal Development

320 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2004

Reviews

[Kris Muir · Rating 4 out of 5]

Emotional intelligence has interested me for quite some time, but I've tended toward reading more of the "Goleman-type" books (e.g. "Emotional Intelligence 2.0" or "Primal Leadership") that are more popular with the mass market. These books have value, but I've realized that the problem with many of them is that they sometimes make mixed claims that are not evidence-based. In preparing to give a workshop on EI I did more digging into the science and came across this book. Caruso and Salovey provide a data-driven framework that can help any leader increase their ability to lead in an emotionally-intelligent way. Based on research from the 1980s, they developed a framework around 4 discrete skills: identifying, using, understanding, and managing emotions. The authors have also created an assessment called the MSCEIT that is arguably the gold standard for measuring EI. If you are interested in the MSCEIT as a potential assessment send me an email at kmuir2@nd.edu. This book has some flaws, like most books, most notably the over-use of personal examples. But the framework, exercises, and the practical advice rooted in science make it a worthy read for any leader.

[Danijela Jerković · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Thoughts and Notes on The Emotionally Intelligent Manager...


“There is no separation of mind and emotions; emotions, thinking, and learning is all linked.” ~Eric Jensen


The fundamental premise of The Emotionally Intelligent Manager is that emotion is not just important but absolutely necessary for us to make good decisions, take optimal action to solve problems, cope with change, and succeed.


The four emotional skills around which is built The Emotionally Intelligent Manager:

1: Read People: Identifying Emotions.
Emotions contain data. They are signals to us about important events going on in our world,
whether it’s our internal world, social world, or the natural environment. We must accurately
identify emotions in others and be able to convey and express emotions accurately to others in
order to communicate effectively.

2: Get in the Mood: Using Emotions.
How we feel influences how we think and what we think about. Emotions direct our attention to
important events; they ready us for a certain action, and they help guide our thought processes as
we solve problems.

3: Predict the Emotional Future: Understanding Emotions.
Emotions are not random events. They have underlying causes; they change according to a set
of rules, and they can be understood. Knowledge of emotions is reflected by our emotion
vocabulary and our ability to conduct emotional what-if analyses.

4: Do It with Feeling: Managing Emotions.
Because emotions contain information and influence thinking, we need to incorporate
emotions intelligently into our reasoning, problem-solving, judging, and behaving. This requires
us to stay open to emotions, whether they are welcome or not, and to choose strategies that
include the wisdom of our feelings.


Each ability can be isolated from the others, but at the same time, each builds on the others.

The model of emotional intelligence begins with the awareness, recognition, and identification of emotion.

The emotionally intelligent manager prepares and plans for important social interactions.



The emotionally intelligent manager leverages the four skills in the model of emotional intelligence by:

1. Identifying how all of the key participants feel, themselves included
2. Using these feelings to guide the thinking and reasoning of the people involved
3. Understanding how feelings might change and develop as events unfold
4. Managing to stay open to the data of feelings and integrating them into decisions and actions


The Emotionally Intelligent Manager combines passion with logic, emotions with intelligence!

The processes by which managers or leaders create a shared vision, motivate others and encourage workers are likely based on the intelligent use of emotion and the integration of feelings with thinking.


The emotions do matter—all the time.
To ignore their role, to deny the wisdom of your own emotions and those of others is to invite failure as a person, as a manager, and as a leader.


“What really matters for success, character, happiness, and lifelong achievements is a definite set of emotional skills – your EQ — not just purely cognitive abilities that are measured by conventional IQ tests.”
~ Daniel Goleman


Six Principles of Emotional Intelligence...

1. Emotion is information.
2. We can try to ignore emotion, but it doesn’t work.
3. We can try to hide emotions, but we are not as good at it as we think.
4. Decisions must incorporate emotion to be effective.
5. Emotions follow logical patterns.
6. Emotional universals exist, but so do specifics.


The Emotional Blueprint offers an approach to the emotion that is intelligent. It does not threaten the importance of logic or reason.


Every day we think and make decisions and judgments, and each of these thoughts, decisions, and judgments are made with emotion.
This is not a choice we make; it’s simply the way we’re wired.
By choosing to ignore the emotional component and trying to be coldly rational, we risk making a poor decision.

Getting in the right mood starts with accurate emotional identification. Then you need to tap your knowledge of how your feelings and thoughts work together as a team. And finally, you have to deliver that feeling.


The emotional system is an intelligent system; that’s why it evolved in animals, including humans. Our emotions point us in the right direction and motivate us to do what needs to be done.


“Out of the marriage of reason with affect there issues clarity with passion. Reason without affect would be impotent, affect without reason would be blind.”
~Sylvan Tomkins


“We plant seeds that will flower as results in our lives, so best to remove the weeds of anger, avarice, envy and doubt…”
~ Dorothy Day

[Spellbind Consensus]

**The Emotionally Intelligent Manager: How to Develop and Use the Four Key Emotional Skills of Leadership** by David R. Caruso and Peter Salovey provides a practical framework for integrating emotional intelligence (EQ) into everyday managerial and leadership tasks. Based on the authors’ foundational research in EQ, the book emphasizes the measurable, trainable aspects of emotional intelligence and applies them directly to the challenges managers face.

Key concepts and actionable ideas:

* Emotional intelligence involves using emotions intelligently—not suppressing or indulging them:

* Effective managers recognize emotions as data that can inform decisions and improve leadership.
* Emotions provide insight into people, dynamics, and opportunities that logic alone might miss.

* The four key emotional skills of leadership:

* **Identifying Emotions**: Accurately recognizing emotions in yourself and others through facial expressions, tone, and behavior.

* Practice noticing subtle emotional cues in meetings and conversations.
* Use language to name what you feel (“I’m frustrated” vs. “I’m fine”) to enhance clarity and openness.

* **Using Emotions to Facilitate Thinking**: Leveraging emotional states to solve problems, prioritize tasks, and generate creative ideas.

* Recognize that different moods influence thinking—e.g., sadness may promote analytical thinking, happiness may boost creativity.
* Intentionally shift your emotional state (e.g., using music, visualization) to match the task at hand.

* **Understanding Emotions**: Comprehending emotional causes and trajectories—why emotions arise, how they change, and what they mean.

* Ask what triggered an emotional reaction and what it signals.
* Use this understanding to anticipate team responses or de-escalate tense situations.

* **Managing Emotions**: Regulating your own emotions and influencing the emotional tone of others to achieve goals.

* Practice emotional regulation through reframing, deep breathing, or pausing before responding.
* Model calm and control in high-stress environments to set a productive emotional tone.

* Integrate EQ into key management activities:

* **Decision-making**: Use emotional input to sense risks, gut reactions, and stakeholder sentiment.
* **Team building**: Recognize the emotional dynamics within teams and adjust leadership style to foster trust and motivation.
* **Conflict resolution**: Identify underlying emotional tensions and help others express concerns constructively.
* **Performance management**: Deliver feedback with empathy, balancing honesty with support and respect.

* Avoid common EQ traps:

* Don’t confuse emotional expressiveness with emotional intelligence.
* Avoid manipulation—using EQ ethically means aiming for shared success, not personal gain.

* Emotional intelligence is a skill, not a trait:

* It can be measured, developed, and applied systematically.
* Regular reflection, feedback, and practice improve performance over time.

This book reframes emotional intelligence as a set of practical, learnable skills essential to leadership. By helping managers become more emotionally perceptive and responsive, it offers a roadmap for leading with empathy, clarity, and effectiveness in increasingly complex workplaces.

[Taras Filonenko · Rating 4 out of 5]

Книга варта уваги якщо тема емоційного інтелекту вас цікавить.

[Shelley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great insight and practical use of emotional intelligence.

[Med Tijani · Rating 2 out of 5]

Full of advices and keys to get up to speed , tuning my emotions,and enrich my emotional vocabulary,but not as I thought,was far from the quality of my aspirations.

[Alberto Lagomarsini · Rating 3 out of 5]

Buen libro. Puedo ser mejor si hubieran más explicaciones científicas sobre la inteligencia emocional. Solamente fue demasiado aplicado a las empresas sin mucho que ver con la teoría principal.

[Jared · Rating 3 out of 5]

More like a reference book.

[Dr. Frank Mora · Rating 4 out of 5]

"A lack of emotion can limit your thinking. Breakthrough ideas often follow from emotional difficulties."- David R. Caruso and Peter Salovey

[Aristofun · Rating 4 out of 5]

Superb!