Hole in My Life

by Jack Gantos

Becoming a writer the hard way

In the summer of 1971, Jack Gantos was an aspiring writer looking for adventure, cash for college tuition, and a way out of a dead-end job. For ten thousand dollars, he recklessly agreed to help sail a sixty-foot yacht loaded with a ton of hashish from the Virgin Islands to New York City, where he and his partners sold the drug until federal agents caught up with them. For his part in the conspiracy, Gantos was sentenced to serve up to six years in prison.

In Hole in My Life, this prizewinning author of over thirty books for young people confronts the period of struggle and confinement that marked the end of his own youth. On the surface, the narrative tumbles from one crazed moment to the next as Gantos pieces together the story of his restless final year of high school, his short-lived career as a criminal, and his time in prison. But running just beneath the action is the story of how Gantos - once he was locked up in a small, yellow-walled cell - moved from wanting to be a writer to writing, and how dedicating himself more fully to the thing he most wanted to do helped him endure and ultimately overcome the worst experience of his life.

Genres: Young Adult, Teen, Biography Memoir, Audiobook, Crime, Drugs, Coming Of Age

200 pages, Paperback

First published March 26, 2002

About the author

Jack Gantos is an American author of children's books renowned for his portrayal of fictional Joey Pigza, a boy with ADHD, and many other well known characters such as Rotten Ralph, Jack Henry, Jack Gantos (memoirs) and others. Gantos has won a number of awards, including the Newbery, the Newbery Honor, the Scott O'Dell Award, the Printz Honor, and the Sibert Honor from the American Library Association, and he has been a finalist for the National Book Award.

Gantos was born in Mount Pleasant, Pennsylvania to son of construction superintendent John Gantos and banker Elizabeth (Weaver) Gantos. The seeds for Jack Gantos' writing career were planted in sixth grade, when he read his sister's diary and decided he could write better than she could. Born in Mount Pleasant, Pennsylvania, and raised in Barbados and South Florida, Mr. Gantos began collecting anecdotes in grade school and later gathered them into stories.

After his senior year in high school (where he lived in a welfare motel) he moved to a Caribbean island (St Croix) and began to train as a builder. He soon realized that construction was not his forté and started saving for college. While in St. Croix he met a drug smuggler and was offered a chance to make 10 000 dollars by sailing to New York with 2,000 pounds of hash. With an English eccentric captain on board they set off to the big city. Once there they hung out at the Chelsea hotel and Gantos carried on dreaming about college. Then, in Jacks own words, "The **** hit the fan" and the F.B.I. burst in on him. He managed to escape and hid out in the very same welfare motel he was living during high school. However, he saw sense and turned himself in. He was sentenced to six years in prison, which he describes in his novel -HOLE IN MY LIFE-. However, after a year and a half in prison he applied to college, was accepted. He was released from prison, entered college, and soon began his writing career.

He received his BFA and his MA both from Emerson College. While in college, Jack began working on picture books with an illustrator friend. In 1976, they published their first book, Rotten Ralph. Mr. Gantos continued writing children's books and began teaching courses in children's book writing. He developed the master's degree program in children's book writing at Emerson College in Boston. In 1995 he resigned his tenured position in order to further his writing career (which turned out to be a great decision).

He married art dealer Anne A. Lower on November 11, 1989. The couple has one child, Mabel, and they live in Boston, Massachusetts.

www.jackgantos.com

Reviews

[Joe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dear James Frey,

This, my good man, is how you write a harrowing memoir about an endless string of bad decisions involving drugs that results in time spent in the pokey.

Kisses and cuddles,
Joe

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book isn't as well-known as it should be. For one thing, most children's book authors don't admit to a criminal past. But Jack Gantos had the guts to do so, and it's a great story. Honest without being brutal, and always with that Gantos edge of detail and humor, I can close my eyes and still remember when I first encountered this book. I was impressed then, and I still am.

[Ramin Azodi · Rating 4 out of 5]

یکم طرح جلدش بچه‌گانه‌ست و مطمئن نبودم باید بگیرم‌ش یا نه ولی داستان نویسنده‌ش واقعن جذب‌م کرده بود. بعد معلوم شد که حقیقتن داستان خوش‌خوانیه. حال و هواش من رو یاد «جز از کل» انداخت هر چند که جز از کل با اختلاف از این کتاب سر تره.

[_.eameli · Rating 4 out of 5]

یک کتاب همیشه نیاز به یه مقدمه خوب و پایان خوبی داره،که این کتاب هردوش داره من واقعا عاشق این سبک کتاب ها شدم حیف که این انتشارات فقط سه تا تو این سبک انتشار داره......
همینجوری که گفتم کتاب بر اساس واقعیته پسری به اسم جک که از بچگی خیلی دوست داشت نویسنده خیلی مشهور بشه ولی اون در سن نوجوانی میفته تو کارهای خلاف مواد مخدر،سیگار،مشروب و......همچنین جک با یک گروهی تصمیم میگیرند که یک بار بزرگ حشیش رو با قایق ببرند به سمت نيويورک که در مسیر با مشکلاتی رو به رو می شوند.
ولی میدونید من خودم به شخصه نمیدونم چرا جک این کار هارو کرد چرا وقتی نا امید میشد درسش یا کار مورد علاقه شو ول میکرد می رفت سمت مواد و مشروب.
اره میدونم زندگی‌کردن سخته زندگی همیشه راحت و آسون نیستش سختی ها و مشکلات خودش داره^^
پیشنهاد میکنم این کتاب بخونید من اولش با طرح رو جلدش مشکل داشتم از نظرم یجوری بودش اما داستان خیلی قشنگی داشت...

[Amir Z · Rating 3 out of 5]

کتابی که بدون برنامه ریزی قبلی و بدون شناخت قبلی و فقط به خاطر طرح جلد و خلاصه ی پشت جلدش خریدم و جالب بود برام. شاید اثر ادبی یا فوق العاده ای نباشه ولی خاطره‌نویسیِ کم نظیر و جذابی بود؛ حداقل برای من!

[James · Rating 4 out of 5]

You always hear tragic tales that involve drugs and you never think it could apply to you. Why would it? You're a decent person that knows right from wrong, it can't happen to you. When we are young, we all believe we are invincible, some of us still do.

Jack Gantos recounts his struggle starting as a young high school student aspiring to become a writer. He has plans for college so he can become a better writer but feels he has nothing to write about. Through his search for inspiration and lack of common sense he goes from naive teenager, casual pot user, drug trafficker, inmate to someone who is aware of his place in the world and is grateful for it.

An interesting read that shows how good people can easily get mixed up in the drugs and into prison. Gantos narrates his story in a casual, reflective tone amusing himself about the stupidity of his teenage years and how if it wasn't for him ending up in prison he would never be the writer he is today. Take something out of the mistakes you make in life, learn and grow from them and don't let those mistakes define who you can be.

[حسین دهلوی · Rating 5 out of 5]

کتاب جذابی بود و داستان جالبی داشت. خصوصا پایانش عالی بود. تغییر 180 درجه‌ای یه خلافکار.

[Mahtab · Rating 4 out of 5]

کتاب جالب و پرکششی بود.حجم کمی داره و شما رو غرق داستان میکنه.نویسنده ای که از داستان زندگی خودش برای شما میگه.بزرگترین چیزی که ازش یاد گرفتم اینه : در هر لحظه ای تلاش خودت رو بکن تا به نتیجه برسی.توی شرایط سخته که تفاوت آدم ها مشخص میشه.کتابیه که شما به سختی میتونین بذارینش زمین.این هفته،روزی یه کتاب رو تموم کردم.راضی ام از خودم

[Omid Milanifard · Rating 3 out of 5]

ماجرای خلافکاری که نویسنده شد. این داستان بر اساس واقعیت است. اگر تصميم دارين بچه تون رو نصيحت كنين كه نره دنبال خلاف - طبيعيه كه گوش نميكنه - از راه هاي غير مستقيم مثل هديه دادن همچين كتابي استفاده كنيد ;) صوتيش هم منتشر شده، براي كسانيكه حال يا فرصت مطالعه نسخه كاغذي يا الكترونيكي رو ندارن، گزينه خوبيه. قهرمان داستان به خاطر حمل حشیش به زندان افتاد. دوست دارم حسش رو الان که خرید و فروش ماریجوانا در خیلی از ایالتهای آمریکا و کانادا آزاد شده، بدونم. البته در ایران هم از این قصه ها داشتیم و خواهیم داشت.
"بابا دل خوشی از این آدم‌ها نداشت. می‌گفت «این اراذلی که می‌بینی اگه کل دنیا هم بهشون بگن کارشون اشتباهه، باز هم کار خودشون رو می‌کنن. وقتی پات رو اون‌طرف خط بذاری، دیگه راه برگشتی نداری. این رو آویزهٔ گوشِت کن.» بابام تمام این حرف‌ها را می‌زد که به من بگوید این چیزها سرش می‌شود. آمار تمام این آدم‌ها را داشت و اتفاقاً به نظرم همین باعث جذاب‌تر شدن‌شان می‌شد. می‌گفت این‌ها مثل میوه‌های خراب‌شده، درست‌بشو نیستند. الحق که حس تشخیص فوق‌العاده‌ای در شناخت انواع و اقسام خلافکارها داشت اما این حس، بی‌عیب‌وایراد هم نبود. هیچ وقت به مخیله‌اش هم خطور نمی‌کرد که روزی من هم مثل این‌ها بشوم."

[Jonathan Kranz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I met Jack Gantos back in the early to mid '90's when he was an instructor in Emerson College's MFA program. He stood out from the pack. For starters, he was (and judging by his videos today, still is) a snappy dresser, a notable departure from the running-shoe and tired jeans look favored by many writers. His advice was uncommonly practical, with an emphasis on story structure that has proven very useful. And above all, there was his manner: unassuming, yet compelling; witty, but never deprecating.

There were rumors about Jack having done time in jail, something related to drugs, that seemed absurd, so completely out of place with his character. I dismissed the rumors as the usual student body bullshit.

Then I discovered this amazing memoir: yeah, Jack was involved in a drug deal, shuttling 500 pounds of hash from St. Croix to Manhattan. And the venture, not surprisingly, did not go well: Jack ended up in jail for about a year, the "hole" in his life.

I love this book, not just because the core story is genuinely remarkable, but because Jack tells it with perfect pitch. He neither moralizes nor excuses; he's forgiving of his younger self without ever indulging him. By the end of the book, it's clear that this isn't some "misery memoir," but the story of a young writer finding a resolve and a voice he hadn't known before.

When I finished "Hole in My Life," there was a little one in mine because I missed the narrator so much. I recommend the book to anyone 14 and up.

[Patricia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This young adult autobiography is a candid account of a young man whose aspirations to become a writer would not be fulfilled before he made some bad decisions and suffered the consequences.
While I think the book was well written and not an apology for his mistakes, I would not recommend hole in my life for the middle school students I teach. Gantos’ experiences with drugs, smuggling, and self-doubt are more appropriate for young adults. The quote from Oscar Wilde sums up why this IS a good biography for young adults to read, but is not good for sixth graders. “I have learned this: it is not what one does that is wrong, but what one becomes as a consequence of it.”
With a subtle sense of humor and self-effacing comments, Gantos tells his story of vulnerability: a story that too many young adults will relate to as the temptations and distractions of our society lead them into the middle of trouble. Without enough direction and self-confidence young people are tempted to drift into seemingly harmless activities like pot-smoking, drug-using, and unintentional drug-smuggling and dealing. Gantos had the mind for writing, but like many did not have the drive and confidence he needed. So, he allowed himself to drift, trusting those he met who would take advantage of him, drinking and smoking to escape. However, he couldn’t escape forever. And he told of his arrest and subsequent incarceration in a pragmatic way, not blaming others for the trouble he had gotten himself into. Throughout the autobiography, I did not sense an attitude of entitlement, nor a bitter revengeful stance. He had the basic values he would need to grow up and become successful. He made mistakes but in telling his story, he showed how one does not need to wallow in self-pity and give up. He worked his job in prison, learned his lesson, and avoided future temptations.
This is a good story that many young people drifting around jobless and directionless should read. He did do something wrong, but as Wilde noted that it is what one becomes as a result of wrong-doings that matters, and Gantos has become a writer, a good one. Perhaps his experiences solidified not only his desire to be a writer, but his understanding of human nature and his creativity.
As a young person, moving around a lot as a renter, he met a lot of people and found people interesting. On Reading Rockets he tells of the development of Rotten Ralph, the cat character based on a cat he once owned. He really is a person who gets involved in life and life’s characters.
Hole in my life is a must read, but a must read for older students.

[Jonathan Peto · Rating 4 out of 5]

This had more bite than I expected. Not at first, but eventually, which is a good thing.

After an initial chapter that frames the book as a story about “mistakes and redemption”, the narrative starts during Jack’s last years of high school. Written for teens, the telling is lively, straightforward, and entertaining. He does not preach, hold back, or draw simplistic conclusions.

Eventually he’s out of high school and one thing leads to another. Part Two describes the crime, which is a simultaneously mundane and tense boat ride from the Virgin Islands to New York City. All the while his big dream is to be a writer, and he reads a lot.

When he is caught and convicted in Part Three, the text is more reflective and heavy but never dull. The threat of violence in prison is scary. The text does not go there explicitly, but it feels like it could have been so easy for Jack Gantos to not get through the experience of prison and succeed later. He did not blame anyone else, including the smugglers he worked with, but some of the people in the system felt unreasonably vindictive at times, frighteningly fickle. Since then, Jack is always smartly dressed in suits in photos and, I think, in person. I remember finding that somewhat perplexing before, as with Tom Wolfe. Now I wonder if Jack’s sartorial choices relate to his imprisonment and a need to exert control. In a Q and A section with Matt de la Pena at the end, he describes a disciplined writing routine and lifestyle that certainly seems... punitive?

[نفیسه‌سادات‌موسوی · Rating 5 out of 5]

 یکی از اولین هدیه‌هایی که از همان سال‌های اول بعداز باسواد شدن به دانش‌آموزان داده می‌شود، دفتر خاطرات است. دفتری برای ثبت اتفاقات روزانه، ولو کوتاه. اگر ذره‌ای علاقه به نویسندگی در کسی وجود داشته باشد، دیگر دفتر خاطرات یک هدیه معمولی نیست. بیشتر نویسنده‌های بزرگ اولین تجربه‌های جدی نوشتن‌شان را موقع ثبت همین روزمره‌ها داشته‌اند. اما طی یک اتفاق نادر و عجیب، خاطراتی که قرار بوده منجی یک عشقِ نوشتن باشند و او را تبدیل به نویسنده موفق و معروفی بکنند، باعث دردسر اساسی برای او شدند. به بیان روشن‌تر در جایی که مدرک محکمه پسندی برای نسبت دادن جرم به متهم وجودنداشت، پیدا شدن دفتر خاطرات روزانه او، ورق را به نفع قاضی برگرداند و او را روانه زندان کرد.
جک گانتوس، نویسنده نام‌آشنای ادبیات کودک و نوجوان، در کتابی با نام حفره، ماجرای زندگی اش را از وقتی هیچ رویایی جز نوشتن برای دنبال کردن نداشت، تا زمانی که در بیست سالگی روانه زندان شد تعریف می‌کند. اینکه چطور اجازه نداد زندان نقطه پایان او در مسیر پیشرفت و موفقیت باشد و از دل سلول‌های پر اضطراب زندان، آنقدر خواند و نوشت که در نهایت بعد از آزادی دیگر جوانی با یک رویای بالقوه نبود. نوشتن را برای باقی زندگی برگزیده بود و با جدیت هرچه تمام‌تر به آن پرداخت.
البته خوش‌شانسی‌هایی هم در سال‌های زندان بودنش برایش اتفاق افتاده که اگر هرکدام پیش نمی‌آمد قطعا داستان زندگی او به گونه متفاوتی رقم می‌خورد؛ اما از آن جا که حفره یک مجموعه واقعی از خاطرات سالهای جوانی گانتوس است، دیدن این خوش‌شانسی‌ها و علم به اینکه ساخته و پرداخته ذهن خلاق یک نویسنده نیستند باعث دلگرمی مخاطبی می‌شود که مشغول خواندن کتاب است. دلگرمی از این باب که زندگی واقعی صددرصد قابل پیش‌بینی نیست و آنچه نامش را معجزه می‌گذارند در دنیای واقعی هنوز به وقوع می‌پیوندد.
خود حفره، اثری در ژانر خاطره‌پردازی است و ترجمه‌ای که نیما م.اشرفی از کتاب ارائه داده است، نشان می‌دهد اثر موفقی در ژانر خودش است. جملات کوتاه و واضح انتخاب شده‌اند و آرایه‌های ادبی و استعارات تا جای ممکن به کار گرفته نشده‌اند تا مخاطب خود را کاملا با یک واقعیت‌نگاری مواجه ببیند، به آن دل بدهد، به نویسنده اعتماد کند و برای سرانجام او نگران شود. اصلا همین ساده نویسی است که باعث می‌شود وقتی گانتوس در نهایت سرنوشت خود را تغییر می‌دهد، مخاطب نفسی از سر آسودگی بکشد و خود را به فنجانی چای یا قهوه دعوت کند!
راوی کتاب اول شخص است و جک گانتوس صادقانه آنچه پشت سر گذاشته تا در نهایت سر از زندان در بیاورد را بیان کرده است. حسن راوی اول شخص این است که مخاطب علاوه بر اتفاقاتی که می‌افتند، می‌تواند با علت احتمالی آنها و افکاری که به منجر شدن یا نشدن اتفاقات دیگر می‌انجامد نیز از نزدیک دیدار کند و گویی پابه‌پای نویسنده موقع خلق داستان در حال قدم برداشتن است.
تجربه جوانی نام فروستی است که نشر اطراف برای انتشار برخی کتاب‌ها انتخاب کرده است. روایت‌هایی از جستجوی لحظه‌های حساس در زندگی جوان‌ها، در لبه بزرگسالی. کتاب حفره سومین اثری است که در این فروست منتشر شده است و با حجم کم و قلم روان و ادبیات ساده خود توانسته توجه مخاطبان اصلی خود، یعنی آنهایی که در حال دست‌وپنجه نرم کردن با معمایی به نام زندگی هستند و آن را لاینحل می‌بینند، را به خود جلب کند.
شاید کمی اغراق‌آمیز به نظر برسد اما بعید است بعد از خواندن این کتاب کسی وسوسه ثبت خاطرات روزانه به جانش چنگ نیندازد!

[Kelsey Dangelo-Worth · Rating 5 out of 5]

“I have learned this: it is not what one does that is wrong, but what one becomes as a consequence of it.” ~Oscar Wilde
“Someone once said anyone can be great under rosy circumstances, but the true test of character is measured by how well a person makes decisions during difficult time.”
“I was armed with books the way the navy goes to sea armed to the teeth.”

Hole in My Life by Jack Gantos (200 pages)

Jack Gantos, author of children’s books, writes his autobiographical account of how, lost and adrift after high school, basically homeless, poor, and envious of great authors like Kerouac and Hemmingway, longing for adventures, he agrees to help pilot a boat from the Virgin Islands to New York, smuggling drugs. Gantos’ account is unabashed, unsentimental, unapologetic, unsympathetic for his own self, which is refreshing for the genre and the young adult audience. He makes no excuses (except stupidity, despite being a brilliant reader) for his behavior, the consequences of which are truly disturbing and disquieting. His voice is haunting in this respect. An excellent read for mature readers: an accessible, powerful, and strong narrative that has a great message without being didactic or preachy. Grade: A

[Kate Schwarz · Rating 5 out of 5]

When a book starts with a whopper of an open line such as "The prisoner in the photograph is me" and the pages following that line tell a harrowing, incredible, true story of a foolish but likeable young man (with years of self-reflection between his mistakes and publication) and how one huge, bad decision goes down... Well, that requires a reader like me to read the book in one long inhale.

But Gantos' impressive writing slowed me down-- many passages were so good I had to read them twice. He is an honest narrator who tells his story so to teach others to choose more wisely than he did, but he manages to do this without preaching or wagging his finger once.

Very, very good. Though when my boys read it I sure hope they read the parts about the consequences as closely as the adventurous chapters!

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Jack Gantos, a children's author, writes a memoir about his last year of high school and how he ends up in prison. I picked it up because I thought it looked interesting and I wondered why it was in a middle school library. After reading it I would say it belongs in a high school library because of the drug references, prison violence, and prison rape. The moral of the story is a good one and it is nice to see him succeed after being in prison. It is a cautionary tale but a little too harsh for the younger kids.

[Jeffrey · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good friend gave me this book and told me it would be a fast and humorous read. She was right about fast, and she was right about funny. She didn't tell me how profound the book would be, how insightful and applicable.

Before Gantos became an award winning author of young adult novels, he was a kid struggling to find himself. This book takes us on his journey, from his young life in Florida to his higher teen years in the Virgin Islands where his family moved so his father could find work. What makes the story so remarkable is the candor with which Gantos writes about his mistakes, and the insight he has into his own psyche.

Gantos's story, and the reason for the book, takes a turn when he agrees to crew a boat loaded with drugs from the Virgin Islands into New York City. This is his way to earn the money he needs for college, so he thinks, and he determines to make the best of it. He is young and foolish and believes in some way in his own invincibility, until it all comes crashing down around him in the form of a federal indictment on drug smuggling charges.

In prison, Gantos wallows in self pity, until a series of fortunate events land him a job as an X-ray technician and he begins to see the way out. What strikes me here is that despite his determination to receive parole and the work he puts into getting into college, Gantos the author remains insightful about Gantos the character in the book, and that character's blindness to his own indomitable spirit. Part of him still believes he's nothing but a messed up loser kid who now can add ex-con to his name. But another part of him, the part that makes it through to the end of the book, is the part that recognizes that it's not the mistakes of our life that define us, but what we learn from those mistakes and how we move forward from them.

When he is let out of prison, Gantos is forced to give up the journal he kept of his time there. The journal was written in notes of the margins of The Brother's Karamazov, and the loss of this journal, I think, is the turning point for Gantos the character, and Gantos the author. It's a terrible blow for any writer, or would be writer, to lose his or her writing. But it can also free a writer to recognize that the words are just words, and that they exist both on paper and, more importantly, inside. In losing the journal, Gantos is able to reflect more deeply on the mistakes of his past and move forward from them.

In an interview with Matt de la Peña printed at the end of the book, Gantos talks about his work with young people and the connection he has made with at-risk youth who are incarcerated. He says, "You can make a mistake, but it doesn't have to ruin your life or entirely define who you are as a person, and you can recover from it, move on, be accomplished, remain proud, and do something great with your life and become the full person you imagine yourself to be in your heart and mind and through your actions."

That, for me, is the biggest take away from this delightful little book.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this quickly and with moderate interest as to what would happen to young Jack in his journeys, both literal (as he ferried drugs) and figurative. I was especially struck by his story because he was a high school senior and then graduate, by the skin of his teeth, struggling to find his way in life. It wasn't that he was utterly lost--he knew he wanted to be a writer, and the maddeningly idealistic way in which he hopes, pines, and bounces around hoping to witness something great while working menial jobs to stay afloat reminds the reader of that--it was more that he faced the seemingly immutable influence of poverty on his best version of his own dreams. Throw into the mix our culture's largely ambivalent view of recreational drug use and you have a lost, poor, bright, depressed, self-medicating, big-dreaming teenager making the choices that seem smartest to him at his quite young, immature, unworldly age of 19. His honest, unflinching yet not gratuitous descriptions of "going down" for his crimes and facing prison are realistic and resonant. Despite thinking vaguely, "Boy, dude, that was a dumb decision," the reader can simultaneously sympathize with nearly every decision he makes--which surprised me, as someone who could never imagine doing what he did. But I was easily able to remind myself: "You never had to consider it." He did. His reflections on the experience come off not as a trite, "here are my lessons learned" commentary, but an honest retelling of his evolution as a writer and a person. Oh the irony: the juicy, pathos-laden, true-grit tale he sought to exploit was his own.

[Jordan · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book i just finished reading is hole in my life by jack gantos i liked the book because it was interesting. I feel like mainly everything about the book was good and interesting. I liked the fact that the book was first person. Plus the fact that it was real made it more serious and entertaining. It introduces you to a good variety of characters and the situations were believable.

This book would be really good for high school students and adults. The reason i say that is because this is about a pot head that goes to prison for selling weed. The type of people that shouldn't read this book are people that are against weed. There would be no reason for someone who doesn't like the subject of this plant to read this. And no i'm not saying only potheads will like this book it's just that if your heavily against it then you shouldn't read it because that's what this book is mainly about.

[Ali Najafy · Rating 5 out of 5]

‏قصه زندگی جک گانتوس و کتاب حفره رو توی چند ساعت و حتی کمتر از یک روز خوندم ...!!

قطعا که سوژه جذاب و قصه پرکششی داشت که همه و حتی شما رو به خودش جذب میکنه !!

ولی برای من شاید این علاقه جک به نوشتن و قصه‌گویی بود که باعث شد تا حد زیادی با غم‌ها و شادی‌هاش همذات پنداری کنم و احساس کنم انگار قصه زندگی خودم داره روایت میشه

فصل سوم کتاب با عنوان «زرد زرد» حس خیلی واقعی و عجیبی داشت ، حس انزجار و نفرت
اول از همه نفرت نسبت به شرایط مزخرفی که گاهی دچارش می‌شیم
بعد هم نفرت نسبت به تصمیمات اشتباه گذشته‌مون و پشیمونی هایی که انتها نداره ...

قصه که تموم شد و به پایان کتاب رسیدم ، برای نویسنده کتاب خوشحال بودم
خوشحال بودم که به آرزوهایش رسیده و انقدررررر خوب می‌تونه بنویسه که من لذت ببرم و باهاش همراه بشم

- مرسی جک
⁦^_^⁩

[Meg · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Hole in My Life"- more like "Hole in My Goodreads" for not having reviewed this book sooner. It's the greatest, and not reading it is more foolish than Jack Gantos trying to smuggle drugs into the U.S. at nineteen.

[Sara MostaghaC · Rating 2 out of 5]

برای موضوع این ماه چالش‌کتابخوانی طاقچه رفتم سراغ کتاب‌هایی که چاپی و طاقچه‌ای، صد سال است گذاشتمشان در فهرست «بالاخره یک روزی می‌خوانمشان« و سعی کردم حدس بزنم کدامشان می‌توانند «جان تازه‌ای به تن امیدم بدمند».

کتاب حفره را دو سه سال پیش در طاقچه خریده بودم. از بین کتاب‌های مجموعه‌ی «تجربه‌ی جوانی» نشر اطراف، این یکی برایم جذاب‌تر به نظر می‌رسید. هم نویسنده‌اش را می‌شناختم و هم درباره‌ی کسی بود که نهایتا نویسنده شده است! درنتیجه این جلد را نگه داشته بودم که بعد از دو جلد دیگر بخوانم. البته بماند که در نهایت کمتر از همه برایم جذابیت داشت. وقتی دیدم ماجرای کتاب درباره‌ی کسی است که مدتی درگیر قاچاق مواد مخدر و زندان شده ولی در نهایت توانسته نجات پیدا کند و نویسنده‌ی خوبی هم شود، گفتم حتما به موضوع چالش این ماه می‌خورد.

البته تقریبا نیمه‌ی اول کتاب، که جک هنوز دستگیر نشده است، هیچ امیدی به تن آدم نمی‌دمد. درباره‌ی جوان سرگردانی است که فقط می‌داند دوست دارد نویسنده شود و بزرگ‌ترین خصلتی که از جوانی در این نیمه‌ی کتاب به چشم می‌خورد خامی است! و گرفتن تصمیم‌های به شدت هیجانی (همان جوگیرانه). مثلا جک با خواندن کتاب «در جاده»یِ جک کرواک تصمیم می‌گیرد که هرچه دارد را بفروشد و با ماشینش برود آن طرف کشور، یا با خواندن کتاب «نشان سرخ دلیری» احساس می‌کند شجاعت هنری فلمینگ را دارد و به طرز احمقانه‌ای می‌رود داخل یک شهر در معرض طوفان شب را بگذراند. حتی همان وقتی هم که همه‌چیزش را فروخته است و آماده‌ی سفر است، وقتی از یکی از دوستانش درباره‌ی فواید (!) حشیش می‌شود، تصمیم می‌گیرد با او در فروش حشیش همکاری کند و کل پولی که برای سفر و دانشگاه کنار گذاشته را سر این کار خرج کند و آخر هم سرش کلاه می‌رود و کل پولش را از دست می‌دهد. حتی به خاطر کتاب «مارتین ایدن» جک لندن تصمیم‌ می‌گیرد درون دریا بپرد تا ببیند چه حسی دارد در آن عمق از دریا مرگ را از نزدیک حس کند. به نظرم بیشترین حد این خامی را می‌شود وقتی دید که جک بعد از خواندن کتاب‌های نویسنده‌هایی که خبرنگار جنگ بوده‌اند یا از تجربیات شخصی‌شان در حادثه‌ای تاریخی نوشته‌اند، در اوج التهابات اجتماعی بین سفید پوستان و سیاه‌پوستان آن موقع، با دفتر و قلم وارد پایگاه شورشیان سیاه‌پوست می‌شود تا از خواسته‌هایشان بنویسد و درنهایت مجبور می‌شود از ترس جانش فرار کند! برایم جالب این بود که بعد از هرکدام از کارهای احمقانه‌اش پشیمان می‌شد ولی باز هم ادامه می‌داد. البته این عجیب نیست که آدم در زندگی تصمیم‌های احمقانه بگیرد، کدام یکی از ما از این تصمیم‌ها نمی‌گیرد؟ برای من این عجیب بود که داشتم ذهن نویسنده را در هر کدام از این تصمیم‌ها می‌خواندم و تقریبا در فرآیند هیچ‌کدام اثری از منطق و فکر دیده نمی‌شد. انگار همه یک سری تصمیم‌ آنی و کاملا هیجانی بودند. نیمه‌ی اول داستان را می شود در همین جمله‌‌ی نویسنده خلاصه کرد:

آن‌قدر هیجان‌زده بودم که می‌دانستم نمی‌توانم خطر این کار را سبک و سنگین کنم. از خود بی‌خود شده بود. حس می‌کردم از همه‌ی خطرها در امانم

البته که فکر کنم اتفاقات نیمه‌ی دوم داستان توانست جک را بزرگ‌تر کند:)

در نیمه‌ی دوم کتاب، که به مراتب جذاب‌تر از نیمه‌ی اولش بود، تمرکز نویسنده روی تلاشش برای دوام آوردن بود. مثلا این که وقتی تقریبا فهمیده بود مدتی را باید در زندانی‌های خشن بگذراند، شروع کرد به خواندن کتاب‌هایی درباره‌ی کسانی که در شرایط خیلی بدتری داشتند ولی در نهایت دوام آورده بودند.

خلاصه این که، به طور کلی، این کتاب امید خاصی به من اضافه نکرد و آن قدر که قبل خواندنش فکر می‌کردم از «حفره» خوشم نیامد. ولی از کل کتاب، جالب‌ترین بخشش این بود که خود نویسنده برای زنده‌ نگه‌داشتن امیدش از کتاب‌ها استفاده می‌کرد.

هرجا دستم به ادبیان زندان می‌رسید، می‌خواندمشان. حیاط زندان، پاپیون، خاطرات یک دزد و هفت سال آزگار. وقتی کتاب زندان پیدا نمی‌کردم، کتاب‌های اردوگاه‌های کار اجباری و اسرای جنگی می‌خواندم.

... با صدای رنج دیگران زندگی‌ام را سر می‌کردم. اوضاع آن نویسنده‌ها خیلی بدتر از من بود اما توانسته بودند نجات پیدا کنند و درباره‌ی تجربه‌شان بنویسند

[Cynthia Egbert · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this story of a man who is willing to just unflinchingly own his mistakes and foibles. I wish that this biography was utilized more fully in high schools these days. I do understand that it is somewhat dated, but the message is perfect. The idea that one bad decision can alter your course and the lives of others around you but that your life need not continue to follow a negative path but you can choose to make the best of things is powerful. I am grateful for whoever recommended this book to me and will be passing it along to people that I think could benefit from his message. And I look forward to reading his fiction work now.

A couple of powerful thoughts:

"I have learned this:
it is not what one does that is wrong.,
but what one becomes
as a consequence of it." -Oscar Wilde

"I began to write stories - secret stories about myself and the restless men around me. While among them, I may have feigned disinterest, but like my father I watched them closely and listened whenever they spoke. Then back in my cell I would sit on the edge of my bunk with my journal spread open across my knees and try to capture their stories with my own words. For some paranoid reason the warden would not allow us to keep journals. He probably didn't want the level of violence and sex among both prisoners and guards to be documented. My secret journal was an old hardback copy of The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoyevsky, in which I spent hours writing in a tiny script between the tightly printed lines. I kept the book like a Gideons' Bible on top of my locker and, as far as I know, its true purpose was never discovered."

"Dostoyevsky had spent some time in prison. He wrote about it in House of the Dead. And I guess knowing that only encouraged me to use Karamazov for my journal. I read the book first. Then I began to record my own lines between his lines. Naturally, his were better. But mine were mine, and it didn't take long to find out I had plenty to write about."

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an incredibly enthralling book about Jack Gantos' time in prison for drug smuggling. If you read that sentence you may be turned off but I assure you that this award winning young adult author's "life of crime" was isolated to one time.

In this book, you will learn of the circumstances involved that lead to his crime which were unbelievably incredible. For instance, I had no idea about the "white exodus" in certain areas of Florida due to the Black Panthers taking over certain towns thus putting many people out of work.

Anyway, there were many contributing factors that lead to Gantos agreeing to help sail that boat. Mostly he wanted money to pay for college so he could become a writer.

I listened to the audio which Gantos himself narrates which made this story all the more poignant. He does not excuse himself and he does not justify his actions. What he does is lay out the facts, explain all the circumstances, and gently describe how he changed so that by the end of the book you can see how much growth he has experienced.

[BookPusher D · Rating 4 out of 5]

Seriously can't believe how innocent Jack Gantos was and it led to this story. So far I have really enjoyed his story and hope this was not the end of the twists and turns of his early life. I find myself wrapped up in his story telling and wanting more. Second Gantos book this yr.

[Abolfazl · Rating 4 out of 5]

جالب بود کتابش. خاطرات واقعی یه نویسنده، کسی که از یه مجرم فروش مواد و زندانی به سوی هدفش به عنوان یه نویسنده تغییر مسیر میده.

[Ryan F · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think the book was good it had everything you would need to make a good book. Jack did an amazing job telling the story of his life and didn't leave out a detail. There was the perfect amount of comedy, suspense, action, and horror. When he was in jail I could feel his worry and want to get out. All things considered the book was an awesome work of literature.

[Arminzerella · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jack Gantos is just twenty years old when he gets into trouble with the law. He decides to make some quick money ($10,000) for college by sailing a shipment of hash from the Virgin Islands to New York City. He and his partner make it all the way to NYC and up the river where they stash the hash and then start breaking it up for sale. Gantos has his 10K in hand when a bunch of feds bust into his hotel and take his partner into custody. He flees the law and escapes to Florida, where he calls his father. Apparently, his family has been hassled almost constantly by the feds since Gantos left – they know who he is, they know what he’s done, they just can’t find him. Gantos’ dad says he’s got him a lawyer and the best thing to do is turn himself in. So he does.

The judge who hears Gantos’ case doesn’t have any sympathy for him. He may be young, and he may have been stupid (and he may be really sorry now), and he may really not want to go to jail, but the judge knows that mostly Jack Gantos is sorry because he got caught. Not sorry because he really regrets what he did. He gives him a youth sentence, which means that Gantos will serve anywhere from 60 days to 6 years for breaking the law.

His first night in prison, Gantos is accosted by another prisoner who offers him his protection if Gantos will be his bitch. It scares the hell out of Gantos. Another man involved in the operation is repeatedly raped by a gang of prisoners and can barely walk when Gantos meets up with him again. These experiences horrify him. Thankfully, he’s transferred to another prison, where it’s discovered that he has lice. He has to stay in the hospital, in an isolated cell, while they delouse him and at the end of his tenure - before he’s to be sent down to live with the rest of the men - he asks for and receives a job (and a place to stay) in the hospital.

Possibly, this is what makes all the difference. While Gantos still endures incarceration, he’s separate from his fellow prisoners and doesn’t have to face any of the dangers that come from living among a bunch of violent, scared, screwed up men. In fact, prison gives him time and material to do the one thing he’s always wanted – write. He spends hours, days, writing in the margins of books (journals aren’t allowed in his prison) - telling the stories of the things that happen to him, the things that happen to the other men around him. He’s able to find his voice and discovers that he has a wealth of material available to him.

You can feel Gantos’ frustration when he reads his case file and realizes that there is little he can do to convince his parole board that he’s actually changed. They don’t know him. They don’t care about him. They don’t ask him the questions he expects, and he can’t marshal his feelings. He can’t show them what they want to see. And as a result, he feels that they will never grant him a reprieve.

Gantos eventually does make it out of prison - somewhat earlier than the date of his next scheduled parole board meeting – by getting a new caseworker, and making a deal with his parole board. He applies and gets accepted into a college writing program. His parole board agrees to let him out early as long as he has a place to live and a job to support himself.

This is a short, fast, gripping read (4 discs, if you get the audio CD). It details Gantos’ crime and his punishment – heavy on the events leading up to and the commitment of his crime, and lighter on the jail time Gantos does. Reluctant readers should eat this up.

[Adar · Rating 4 out of 5]

The autobiography, A Hole In My Life by Jack Gantos was a very good book, but also very confusing and hard to piece out because of the many, many characters that Jack encounters. Also, because if you knew nothing about court, you knew nothing about what jack was competing with. The use of great words and the plot were beautiful and helped you learn a lot.
Jack Gantos was a main character who was oh so confused with what to do with his life, he wanted to write but could never get himself to actually complete something. While he is in jail, he feels a lot of self regret, and self loathing for what he did to himself. But ends up with him being happy that he got out and very understanding that what he did , was wrong and it wont happen again.
The main conflict of the story was when Jack didn't have enough money for college, so he ended up being desperate and sold Hash. And that ended him up in jail. which that was when he had to deal with jail... and to deal with himself.
Jack traveled a lot by boat, and on foot for when he was selling the hash and traveling to gather the hash. The plot of the story was Jack getting thrown in jail where he had to deal with the consequences. that inspired his writing so when he got out, he pursued his college life and writing.
With all of the characters jack met while traveling, they all played a part in his journey. with all of the steps he had to accomplish with jail proves that he had many consequences with what he did.
It was confusing because of all of the court scenes and informational scenes, i had sometimes no idea what was going on.
I recommend this book for teenagers who are very responsible and mature because of the sexual content, use of alcohol/drugs, and foul language. also this book has very foggy, hard parts to comprehend, and very high level language.

[Sameera · Rating 4 out of 5]

Second or third reread - still a really good one. Simple words but strong story.