The Evasion-English Dictionary

by Maggie Balistreri

What if you fired your shrink and hired a proofreader?

More than just a dictionary of euphemisms by a young linguist, The Evasion-English Dictionary is a merciless translation of the banalities of contemporary speech. It's also scathingly funny.

For example, Balistreri asks what if you substituted the word "you" for the phrase "the relationship" in the sentence, "There seem to be a lot of problems with the relationship." Or what if you substituted the word "because" for the word "but" in the sentence "They drive me crazy but my parents are very involved in my life."

Entertaining as it is, however, the E.E.D. is also a thought-provoking and insightful look into the twists and turns of modern English usage—a smart and useful, albeit hysterical, earwitness account of verbal mishaps and manipulations that's destined to become a classic with language lovers and a useful reference tool on the desk of writers everywhere.

Genres: Nonfiction, Writing, Language, Humor

88 pages, Paperback

Published October 1, 2003

About the author

Maggie Balistreri is a namer and taxonomist working in technology. She studied information science at Pratt Institute and previously worked as the librarian at Poets House.

Maggie also publishes under the name Maude Spekes (https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...)

Reviews

[Sidik Fofana · Rating 4 out of 5]

SIX WORD REVIEW: Please, examine your use of "like".

[Nichole Coppes · Rating 5 out of 5]

I saw her read this years ago and she was amazing! This is one of the best little books on language out there. I laughed out loud.

[Suzanne Wise · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Evasion-English Dictionary is SO smart, witty, hilarious. I love the mini-essay intros to examples of the ways in which we manipulate key seemingly throw-away words to evade the truth. Literary brainiac elegance of language with irreverence, including swear words—yum! Political & social critique via the skewering of the colloquial! Maggie Balistreri's newly expanded EED is completely original and much needed in these times in which so many—from a compulsively self-aggrandizing President to hand-wringing neo-liberals—bend language to prop up their own illusions about themselves. (I don't exclude myself from these acts . . . I find myself sorrying all over the place, for example.) A great, fun gift for fierce word lovers.

[Jessica Magelky · Rating 4 out of 5]

So…this was a very eye-opening book. As a teacher, I always try to be cognizant of my language, so I know I use many of these phrases more than I would like to admit. I often tell my students that language is weird, and reading the examples prove that—so many of these quotes are reminiscent of things I’ve heard before. This was a quick, funny, but thought-provoking read that made me question why I do these things…and it was actually pretty good!

[Maciej Bliziński · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Actually pretty good!" :D

[Christina · Rating 4 out of 5]

A brief book on how we use certain words to avoid saying what we really mean. "Dictionary" is slightly misleading since only 19 words and phrases are discussed, though the author points out an impressive ten meanings of the word like.
Examples:
the relationship = you: "The relationship needed a lot of work."
I know = even though: "I just don't feel like going. I know you had your heart set on it."
Hate = have: "I hate to say I'm holding out for something better..."
It is funny because of the author's insight into human nature. There are brief notes on each words, but her points are mostly supported by contextual examples which makes them a bit narrow--I think they are true of certain people but not all. Sometimes the examples felt a bit redundant or forced, but overall it's an entertaining book.

[Joseph · Rating 5 out of 5]

You would expect this to be a cutesy gimmick book - but you'd be wrong. It's actually a fairly astute piece of pop-psychology and linguistic observation. Basically, they take common euphemisms and language tics and break down the hidden meaning behind them. For example, the ubiquitous and highly annoying "like" and "whatever" have 10 and 13 definitions respectively and reading the explanations is very illuminating. Once you see the various social maneuverings and agendas behind each of the listed uses, you'll never think of them as mere placeholders again. If you're allergic to bullshit, euphemism, and our general cultural tendency to avoid the fucking point, pick it up. A short, breezy gem that I make sure to re-read from time to time.

[Melville House Publishing · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Maggie Balistreri takes dead aim at the Like, Whatever faction of English speakers and splatters them with her paint ball. Clear-minded grammar wins out in the end. Bravo." --Garrison Keillor

[Wendy Ross · Rating 5 out of 5]

Premium..> (everything is illuminated). Worth buying.
Fucking Funny.

[Denise · Rating 4 out of 5]

So, like, it's all about how we, like, use words like "like."

[Jaymee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brilliant and fun explanation of how we (mis)use words to evade their real meanings/uses!

[Christopher Roth · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's Ambrose Bierce meets Erving Goffman! Short, but hilarious in places and well worth picking up.

[Anthony David]

Great little book. Makes you think about the way people talk to you and how you talk to yourself.