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Julian
The winter of 1987 AIDS was epidemic. Bryan Tyler had lost so many close friends, he was falling apart at the seams. Handsome, rich, intelligent, Bryan had accomplished more in his twenty-four years than he had ever dreamed. But he had no one to share his life with. Having remained celibate since he was sixteen, Bryan's fear had created a vacuum of loneliness in him he found draining to live with day in and day out. Until one afternoon while reading the Seattle Times weekend paper, Bryan noticed an ad for a youth in need of a foster home. Julian O'Connor had lived his entire life in an overcrowded state run facility in Everett, Washington. Nearly sixteen, Julian never imagined having a host family, let alone someone to love him. When he was emancipated, he assumed he'd live on the streets. Unloved, and feeling helpless, Julian had lost hope for any type of successful future. He lived one day at a time, and it was all he could do. Then two lost souls met. Bryan imagined raising Julian, giving Julian a strong home life and an education. In return, Bryan hoped Julian would fill his empty life with devotion. What they didn't expect was a love that grew to obsession and the forces that were trying to tear them apart. During a time in US history when the AIDS quilt continued to add names at a terrifying rate, life bloomed from the nightmare. And for Bryan, it was all about one person. Julian.
- GenresM M RomanceGay
270 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 1, 2010
46 people want to read
About the author
G.A. Hauser
267 books515 followersAbout the Author Award-winning author G.A. Hauser was born in Fair Lawn, New Jersey, USA and attended university in New York City. She moved to Seattle, Washington where she worked as a patrol officer with the Seattle Police Department. In early 2000 G.A. moved to Hertfordshire, England where she began her writing in earnest and published her first book, In the Shadow of Alexander. Now a full-time writer, G.A. has written over eighty novels, including several best-sellers of gay fiction. GA is also the Executive Producer for her first feature film, CAPITAL GAMES. For more information on other books by G.A., visit the author at her official website. www.authorgahauser.com G.A. has won awards from All Romance eBooks for Best Author 2010, 2009, Best Novel 2008, Mile High, and Best Author 2008, Best Novel 2007, Secrets and Misdemeanors, Best Author 2007.
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
August 13, 2010
Bryan Tyler is a computer magnate living in Seattle, Washington. At the age of twenty-four, already he is a millionaire. Amidst the AIDS pandemic, Bryan has resigned himself to a life of celibacy. Having witnessed the deaths of numerous friends, he is overwhelmed with paranoia and fear. When he notices a newspaper article featuring a fifteen-year old orphan in need of adoption, Bryan devises a plan which he hopes will fill the lonely void within his life. He vows to offer this boy a foster home, and in return he expects that a meaningful and satisfying relationship will ensue.
Julian O’Connor is the young orphan boy. Unbeknownst to Bryan or the Child Protective Services of Washington, Julian is also gay. While housed in the orphanage, he began sexual experimentation with one of his bunk mates. When to his surprise he’s informed of his possible release into the foster care of an unmarried heterosexual couple, Julian realizes that he must carefully guard the secret of his sexual orientation.
When Julian discovers that his new foster home is not what he’d originally envisioned, he begins to put the pieces together. His guardian, Bryan, does not appear to have a female partner at all. It also seems to Julian that most of Bryan’s friends are homosexual. It doesn’t take long until Julian has Bryan pegged. He knows his foster father is gay, and Julian is starting to fall in love with him.
If you are at all like me, up until this point in the story, you are sure to be captivated. The premise of this plot is very gripping, and it has the potential to be an amazing, heart-rending story. The problem, however, is that instead of a beautiful father/son relationship developing with this young boy and his gay foster parent, a sexual relationship blossoms.
Now before you throw the book at me for being closed-minded and prudish, please hear me out. I’m 100% in favor of consenting adults of any gender pursuing the romantic relationships which bring them personal fulfillment. Whether these be Dom-sub, me'nage trois, homosexual, transgendered, or traditional relationship, is of no consequence to me. I even am in favor of examining and rethinking our age-of-consent standards. So what then is my problem with this particular relationship?
Julian is a fifteen year old boy who still sleeps with a stuffed rabbit. He has been sheltered his entire life, raised in an orphanage. He’s at the cusp of his adolescence, beginning to emerge as a young man physically, yet emotionally and mentally still a mere child. He is placed in a situation where a man nine years his senior has all of the power. This man provides for him, clothes and feeds him, and makes literally all of his decisions.
I was so astonished and heartbroken when I watched this story unfold, that it actually moved me to tears, and I do not mean this in a complimentary way. I’m absolutely flabbergasted that an author would actually use a story such as this to make a case for adult-child romantic and sexual intimacy. As a victim of child sexual abuse, I am particularly disgusted by this portrayal.
What is further disturbing to me, is that this young boy was not only exposed to this twisted and convoluted sort of sexually permissive rationalization, he also was led into a lifestyle in which he was suddenly treated as an adult. On the second day of residence in his home, Julian was invited to have a couple beers with his foster father, and from that point forward he was provided alcohol throughout the story. At one point in the story, the boy even performs oral sex on his foster dad while an audience of two friends (one male and one female) eagerly watch and cheer them on. They also engage in a game of strip poker.
There is a period of separation in the plot in which Julian is temporarily removed from the home, and he becomes so distraught with depression that he bangs his head against a brick wall which results in a head injury and placement into the psych ward. The child protective services authorities ultimately decide to release Julian back to the care of Bryan because they determine the cause of his suicidal ideation is the separation itself. WHAT???!
Obviously I have very strong negative opinions about this plot, and as much as I respect the success and writing credentials of this otherwise brilliant author, I find this particular book to be deplorable. The last thing on earth that I would ever want to do in gay-themed literature would be to feed into the negative stereotypes where gay men are perceived as loathsome pedophiles. I think this book does exactly that! Does liberal-minded actually mean that we must have no boundaries whatsoever? Are we supposed to be able to ignore the reality that this is a child and an adult who are making love to one another and simply see the “beauty” of their feelings?
On another note, there were some inconsistencies in the setting of the story. It was 1987, and although the technology that was mentioned within the story was accurate to a degree (i.e. VHS players, cassette tapes, etc.) there was some technology present which had not yet been introduced in the 80’s. The Internet was created in the late 70’s and was used on a very limited basis throughout the 80’s. It was not until the early-to-mid 90’s that the Internet became available worldwide, yet it is talked about as such within this story. Cell phones were also used in the story, and they did not emerge until the late 90’s.
On a positive note, I loved the conversational and informal writing style of this author. I look forward to reading her adult erotic material, and I have little doubt that it will be sizzling hot. I also think the dialogue was strongly written, and the vocabulary was impressive.
I cannot recommend this particular book, however. I take ownership of my own biases as they relate to this review, and I do not discourage any readers from reading and enjoying this book or any other which I personally may rate unfavorably
Julian O’Connor is the young orphan boy. Unbeknownst to Bryan or the Child Protective Services of Washington, Julian is also gay. While housed in the orphanage, he began sexual experimentation with one of his bunk mates. When to his surprise he’s informed of his possible release into the foster care of an unmarried heterosexual couple, Julian realizes that he must carefully guard the secret of his sexual orientation.
When Julian discovers that his new foster home is not what he’d originally envisioned, he begins to put the pieces together. His guardian, Bryan, does not appear to have a female partner at all. It also seems to Julian that most of Bryan’s friends are homosexual. It doesn’t take long until Julian has Bryan pegged. He knows his foster father is gay, and Julian is starting to fall in love with him.
If you are at all like me, up until this point in the story, you are sure to be captivated. The premise of this plot is very gripping, and it has the potential to be an amazing, heart-rending story. The problem, however, is that instead of a beautiful father/son relationship developing with this young boy and his gay foster parent, a sexual relationship blossoms.
Now before you throw the book at me for being closed-minded and prudish, please hear me out. I’m 100% in favor of consenting adults of any gender pursuing the romantic relationships which bring them personal fulfillment. Whether these be Dom-sub, me'nage trois, homosexual, transgendered, or traditional relationship, is of no consequence to me. I even am in favor of examining and rethinking our age-of-consent standards. So what then is my problem with this particular relationship?
Julian is a fifteen year old boy who still sleeps with a stuffed rabbit. He has been sheltered his entire life, raised in an orphanage. He’s at the cusp of his adolescence, beginning to emerge as a young man physically, yet emotionally and mentally still a mere child. He is placed in a situation where a man nine years his senior has all of the power. This man provides for him, clothes and feeds him, and makes literally all of his decisions.
I was so astonished and heartbroken when I watched this story unfold, that it actually moved me to tears, and I do not mean this in a complimentary way. I’m absolutely flabbergasted that an author would actually use a story such as this to make a case for adult-child romantic and sexual intimacy. As a victim of child sexual abuse, I am particularly disgusted by this portrayal.
What is further disturbing to me, is that this young boy was not only exposed to this twisted and convoluted sort of sexually permissive rationalization, he also was led into a lifestyle in which he was suddenly treated as an adult. On the second day of residence in his home, Julian was invited to have a couple beers with his foster father, and from that point forward he was provided alcohol throughout the story. At one point in the story, the boy even performs oral sex on his foster dad while an audience of two friends (one male and one female) eagerly watch and cheer them on. They also engage in a game of strip poker.
There is a period of separation in the plot in which Julian is temporarily removed from the home, and he becomes so distraught with depression that he bangs his head against a brick wall which results in a head injury and placement into the psych ward. The child protective services authorities ultimately decide to release Julian back to the care of Bryan because they determine the cause of his suicidal ideation is the separation itself. WHAT???!
Obviously I have very strong negative opinions about this plot, and as much as I respect the success and writing credentials of this otherwise brilliant author, I find this particular book to be deplorable. The last thing on earth that I would ever want to do in gay-themed literature would be to feed into the negative stereotypes where gay men are perceived as loathsome pedophiles. I think this book does exactly that! Does liberal-minded actually mean that we must have no boundaries whatsoever? Are we supposed to be able to ignore the reality that this is a child and an adult who are making love to one another and simply see the “beauty” of their feelings?
On another note, there were some inconsistencies in the setting of the story. It was 1987, and although the technology that was mentioned within the story was accurate to a degree (i.e. VHS players, cassette tapes, etc.) there was some technology present which had not yet been introduced in the 80’s. The Internet was created in the late 70’s and was used on a very limited basis throughout the 80’s. It was not until the early-to-mid 90’s that the Internet became available worldwide, yet it is talked about as such within this story. Cell phones were also used in the story, and they did not emerge until the late 90’s.
On a positive note, I loved the conversational and informal writing style of this author. I look forward to reading her adult erotic material, and I have little doubt that it will be sizzling hot. I also think the dialogue was strongly written, and the vocabulary was impressive.
I cannot recommend this particular book, however. I take ownership of my own biases as they relate to this review, and I do not discourage any readers from reading and enjoying this book or any other which I personally may rate unfavorably
January 13, 2016
Worst book ever. Take a vulnerable 15 year old and surround him with sexual predators and wait for the nausea to hit. I feel like I need a bleach bath for buying this book. I wish i had the paperback just so I could get the satisfaction of throwing it away instead of hitting the delete button.
June 22, 2012
This book made me think twice about reading G.A. Hauser again. I love her books, but this one just gave me the shudders. There was abuse on so many levels that disturbed me. I didn't see love in it, I saw obsession and terror. I saw an adult man with so deep emotional issues that I could understand his lack of self restraint and that made me sick. I saw a teenager who got in the hands of a rich and handsome sugar daddy who offered him sad view about "parental" love. I saw a female aggressor too, someone who would use a teenage child - even sexually - to get what she wanted. Just eww.
I did not finish this book. I just couldn't. I skimmed it through after I realized I was not going to be able to read it through.
I so understand teenagers are sexual but in my opinion there was nothing in this story that could have justified what happened both physically and mentally to the poor kid - in the name of love by a very screwed up adult.
I did not finish this book. I just couldn't. I skimmed it through after I realized I was not going to be able to read it through.
I so understand teenagers are sexual but in my opinion there was nothing in this story that could have justified what happened both physically and mentally to the poor kid - in the name of love by a very screwed up adult.
June 11, 2011
I have to say, I didn't finish this book, in fact, I barely started it. A man decides to foster a 15 year old child in order to get a sex slave??? Sorry but that's abuse, not romance. It's also an insult to gay men. I started reading the book but not too far into it, the man's motives are made clear as he's discussing it with his friend and that's when I became confused and checked the reviews. Turns out it gets even worse (according to the other reviews) - plying the child with alcohol and getting him to perform for an audience. I'm disgusted - can anyone say paedophilia? Paedophiles also claim to 'love' children and their actions aren't abuse.
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July 11, 2011NO STARS - negative if I could give them.
This is totally shameless and everything I abhor
I could not believe what I was reading and abandoned it within a few pages. I checked the end to make sure I was right. I was.
This is a story about an illegal situation, and there is no justification in romanticizing it. Where does Hauser get off writing this crap. I used to like this author a lot, now I will think twice or three times before looking at her books, if I can ever bring myself to.
Disturbing!
I cannot get over that an author I read recently online could not get published b/c of mpreg romance themes and yet this ...
This is totally shameless and everything I abhor
I could not believe what I was reading and abandoned it within a few pages. I checked the end to make sure I was right. I was.
This is a story about an illegal situation, and there is no justification in romanticizing it. Where does Hauser get off writing this crap. I used to like this author a lot, now I will think twice or three times before looking at her books, if I can ever bring myself to.
Disturbing!
I cannot get over that an author I read recently online could not get published b/c of mpreg romance themes and yet this ...
August 31, 2010
Note: one star for abandoning it. Check my comments box for reason.
not-for-me
July 7, 2011TBNT cause
April 23, 2013
So many things are wrong with this book, I don't even know where to start. The plot is quite simple, and disturbing: a 24-year old man, who, out of solitude and the desire to have safe sex ( wtf?) adopts a 15-year old he intends to raise and groom as...future lover? Long story short, 2 days into the adoption they're already sleeping in the same bed. There's some neurotic, sociopathic friends in the mix as well. But don't worry, by the end of the book they're forgiven for everything (child molesting, rape intent, etc.)
This book was such a trainwreck, beginning to end. To try and justify a sexual relationship with a 15-year old, who is adopted (under false premises) on top of all that, is just wrong. It plays on every misconception the general public has on gay-couples adoptions. It would have been- maybe, just maybe- slightly less wrong if Bryan had really waited until Julian turned 18 before making his attraction known. But that didn't happen.
The idea is also idiotic to begin with. I haven't lived in that period, I wasn't even born, to know how AIDS was ravaging at the time. But that's still no excuse to go buy yourself an underage, virgin lover. Another disturbing thought is the rape intent scene between Sarah and Julian - really, Bryan really? Had Julian really been raped at that moment, you'd have dumped his ass for being "tainted"? The love is making my heart swell.
Bryan's two friends are basket cases. They're both so obssessed with Bryan, it was simply frightening and disgusting. Now, I can imagine a woman crushing on a gay man. I can even imagine such loneliness as the one she was feeling. But from there to become so enraged that you'd molest a 15-year old boy? And Jon, to plan to send his best friend to prison, just so he'd come out of there raped and broken enough to want to sleep with him? And these are the kinds of people Bryan lets around his precious Julian.
There's still a lot, a lot to be said about this book, and quite frankly none of it good (like underage drinking, playing strip poker with said underage kid, oral sex involving the kid in front of other adults). It felt like I was reading a bad original fiction on Fictionpress, written by some 13-year old.
There are a lot of books out there that deal with sensitive subjects such as incest (parent-child, brothers etc.). We have books that deal with kidnapping, slavery, rape, the whole spectrum. But I think with books such as these, that involve children in such a way, people are bound to be more sensitive. As adults, we can rationalize and separate the good and the bad, the fantasy and the reality. But when it touches on minors, most of us are going to cringe and become horrified.
I'm not trying to say every book out there should be politically correct, or be some kind of manifest for gay rights. I'm not even that bothered by the underage sex thing- it's a reality, it happens. If the romance had developed a bit more naturally, if the setting hadn't been what it was, maybe. But to adopt a kid with the express intention of having sex with him sometimes in the future - that's pedophilia, no matter how you twist it and try to make it right.
What amazes me is that G.A. Hauser has some really nice books, but sometimes, like with this book, it feels a bit Jekyl and Hyde, like there are two authors writing under the same pen name. It just doesn't make sense that some books are good, while others are completely off-planet bad. But then you see the similarities in phrasing and style and realize that yes, aparently it is possible.
I might try some other book by this author in the future, but this one is going to unfortunately stick with me in an unflaterring way.
This book was such a trainwreck, beginning to end. To try and justify a sexual relationship with a 15-year old, who is adopted (under false premises) on top of all that, is just wrong. It plays on every misconception the general public has on gay-couples adoptions. It would have been- maybe, just maybe- slightly less wrong if Bryan had really waited until Julian turned 18 before making his attraction known. But that didn't happen.
The idea is also idiotic to begin with. I haven't lived in that period, I wasn't even born, to know how AIDS was ravaging at the time. But that's still no excuse to go buy yourself an underage, virgin lover. Another disturbing thought is the rape intent scene between Sarah and Julian - really, Bryan really? Had Julian really been raped at that moment, you'd have dumped his ass for being "tainted"? The love is making my heart swell.
Bryan's two friends are basket cases. They're both so obssessed with Bryan, it was simply frightening and disgusting. Now, I can imagine a woman crushing on a gay man. I can even imagine such loneliness as the one she was feeling. But from there to become so enraged that you'd molest a 15-year old boy? And Jon, to plan to send his best friend to prison, just so he'd come out of there raped and broken enough to want to sleep with him? And these are the kinds of people Bryan lets around his precious Julian.
There's still a lot, a lot to be said about this book, and quite frankly none of it good (like underage drinking, playing strip poker with said underage kid, oral sex involving the kid in front of other adults). It felt like I was reading a bad original fiction on Fictionpress, written by some 13-year old.
There are a lot of books out there that deal with sensitive subjects such as incest (parent-child, brothers etc.). We have books that deal with kidnapping, slavery, rape, the whole spectrum. But I think with books such as these, that involve children in such a way, people are bound to be more sensitive. As adults, we can rationalize and separate the good and the bad, the fantasy and the reality. But when it touches on minors, most of us are going to cringe and become horrified.
I'm not trying to say every book out there should be politically correct, or be some kind of manifest for gay rights. I'm not even that bothered by the underage sex thing- it's a reality, it happens. If the romance had developed a bit more naturally, if the setting hadn't been what it was, maybe. But to adopt a kid with the express intention of having sex with him sometimes in the future - that's pedophilia, no matter how you twist it and try to make it right.
What amazes me is that G.A. Hauser has some really nice books, but sometimes, like with this book, it feels a bit Jekyl and Hyde, like there are two authors writing under the same pen name. It just doesn't make sense that some books are good, while others are completely off-planet bad. But then you see the similarities in phrasing and style and realize that yes, aparently it is possible.
I might try some other book by this author in the future, but this one is going to unfortunately stick with me in an unflaterring way.
September 17, 2010
After finishing this book, I do not know if what I feel is disgust or anger. I have no clue what the author was thinking when she wrote Julian and decided it was a romance. What is romantic about a man in his mid-20s, so scared of contracting AIDS, that he decides to adopt a 15-year-old so he can have safe sex? There is nothing consensual about what Bryan does to Julian. It is nothing more than abuse – sexual and psychological.
September 27, 2010
When I first started reading this I was kind of put off by the idea of a foster parent getting physically involved with their child. Julian is only 15 when he moves in with his foster father. As I continued to read that didn't bother me as much. These two people were just ment to be together. I was very young when I had my first sexual encounter so I decided taht this was not a dirty sexual encounter between a older man and a young child. I truely enjoyed reading this book
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June 29, 2014I wish I could leave a neg star rating. Absolute filth. The other characters and MC as well do things that are just complete and utter nonsense. If I say all the things I want to say about this trash, I'd get censored. Adore this author but this book is EPIC fail.
July 30, 2018
Just no,no, no! I started to read and then WTF?! This book is wrong. Disturbing, illegal, immoral, unethical, unhealthy, and the plot is disgusting. So many gay people fought to not be seen as pedophiles, and came long way. And this book depicts exactly this. Why? Protege is different situation with both consenting adults. Being foster parent and not being able to control yourself? This is so bad. What the hell the publisher was thinking?
July 31, 2010
This book has 2 stories and my rating is reflected towards both.
January 29, 2013
I really enjoyed this story and it threw me into some twists and turns. Thanks Hauser for writing it.
December 4, 2015
it was good, I liked the concept, but the end kind of sucked.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews