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320 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2007
"You think I'm a fuckin' idiot? Huh? I watch Pride and Prejudice, all right? I know what fucking love is, and I know when somebody's full of shit!"
One girl - Sharon or Shannon -seemed cooler than the others. Although she was really old, at least thirty-five, she didn't have that annoying, pretentious, I'm-so-much-better-than-you-because-I live-in-Alphafuck-City attitude the others had. She said she had a cousin who worked at Smith Barney and seemed unimpressed with Andy's lie that he was currently going for his MBA at NYU. Her cousin had gone to Wharton and they talked about business schools for a while, then Andy asked what she did. She said she was a film critic for some newspaper or magazine Andy had never heard of, but he figured, films, he could bullshit about that. He told her how much he loved The Lord of the Rings movies and knew most of the lines by heart, and he knew he was in for a buzz kill when she didn't seem at all impressed or interested. He asked her what kind of stuff she liked and she went off, talking about all these obscure movies with weird foreign titles. She went on and on, wouldn't shut up, and Andy just had to stand there, totally trapped, nodding his head, saying things like "Wow" and "Cool" and "I definitely gotta check that one out", as his eyes darted back and forth, trying to get someone to come over to save him from this boring as hell conversation.
When she started talking about how there was going to be this great Goddard festival next month at Lincoln Center, Andy had had enough. He interrupted whatever she was saying and said, "Excuse me," and went to the bathroom.
He continued watching Sleepless [In Seattle] though he’d seen it more times than he could count, he never got tired of it. The first time he'd seen it, he was sixteen. He'd rented it from the video store in Lenox and loved it so much that he spent a whole weekend watching it again and again. He couldn't help crying during the scene at the end when Tom Hanks met Meg Ryan for the first time at the Empire State Building. It was the way he looked at her, with all his longing for her finally realized, that always got to Peter. There were other movies like that, ones he never got tired of watching. It was mainly the classic love stories from the eighties and nineties, like Pretty Woman, Dirty Dancing, and When Harry Met Sally, that did it for him. He liked the predictability of watching movies he'd already seen, of knowing exactly what was coming next. But it had to be a love story or a movie with romance in it. He hated violence. Seeing blood -even fake blood- was way too disturbing.
Instead of ordering in for dinner, Peter decided to christen the kitchen and the new stainless steel appliances. He could never even imagine trying to cook without following a recipe, so he walked to Border's on Second Avenue and bought a cookbook by Jamie Oliver, which had a recipe for pot-roasted pork with fennel and rosemary. Then he cabbed it to a Bed Bath and Beyond across town and bought the utensils he needed and on the way back to his apartment he stopped at a gourmet grocery and bought all the ingredients, and went to a wine store and bought a nice California Zinfandel. He wished his stereo was connected so he could play some music to help put him in the mood, but he had to make do by singing an off-key version of "You Light Up My Life". Although he had an awful voice, he loved to sing, especially while cooking or showering, and as far as he was concerned the love ballads from the seventies were where it was at. He also liked seventies and eighties soft rock and as a teenager lived on Barry Manilow, Air Supply, and REO Speedwagon. As with movies, he only liked music that was uplifting, that made him happy. He could never understand how people could listen to stuff like grunge or metal or -the worst- the blues. Wasn't life depressing enough?
He was in the mood to escape his life for a while, to see a good movie, but there was nothing playing in the multiplex on Third Avenue and Eleventh Street except horror, action, and comic book-based movies. He wondered why Hollywood rarely seemed to produce straight love stories anymore. What was the world coming to?